Episode Overview

Episode Title: Lotioning My Mother’s Back by Ama Codjoe
Host: Maggie Smith
Podcast: The Slowdown: Poetry & Reflection Daily
Date: September 24, 2025

In this heartfelt episode, host Maggie Smith explores the profound power of tenderness and human connection, highlighting how even the smallest gestures can carry immense significance. She reflects on the importance of touch and intimacy in our relationships—especially during challenging times—before introducing and reading Ama Codjoe’s moving poem "Lotioning My Mother’s Back." The episode serves as both a meditation on caring for our loved ones and an invitation to rediscover the transformative impact of compassion.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Power of Small Gestures

[00:48 – 03:00]

• Maggie opens by musing on tenderness and the unspoken emotional resonance of small acts:
  • “How the smallest gestures can make us feel so much. Someone you love kissing your forehead, reaching for your hand, or rubbing the small of your back in a calming, reassuring way.”
  • Everyday intimacies—like a neighbor’s wave or a stranger’s smile—carry deep emotional weight, challenging the idea that only grand gestures matter.

Holding On: The Impact of Touch

[01:30 – 02:33]

• Maggie shares an anecdote about hugging her children and holding them “for as long as they’ll let you”.
  • She’s surprised by “how my kids hold on for longer than I expected.”
  • Extends this lesson to adults: “Why not hold on to the people you love for as long as they’ll let you?”
• Highlights scientific benefits of prolonged hugs:
  • “A hug that’s over 20 seconds increases oxytocin… A long hug also decreases our stress hormones.”

Tenderness as Resistance

[02:34 – 03:18]

• Maggie reflects on the current state of the world and the temptation to “retreat, to harden ourselves, to numb out,” but insists that “tenderness is what we need toward one another and toward ourselves.”
  • Emphasizes the necessity for “soft places to land.”
  • Concludes: “We need to hold on to one another.”

Introducing the Poem: Acting Through Care

[03:19]

• Maggie introduces Ama Codjoe’s poem as an illustration of “how profound and meaningful even the smallest gestures are.”
  • “This poem reminds me that we can save and be saved by tenderness.”

Reading of “Lotioning My Mother’s Back” (Ama Codjoe)

[03:25 – 05:05]

Poem Highlights:

• The daughter’s tender act of applying lotion to her mother’s back becomes a meditation on generational care and vulnerability:
  • “because she lives alone and my hands reach where hers can’t, she asks of me this favor.”
• The mother’s longing for connection with her own mother is palpable:
  • “my mother circles her own mother, who was made of whatever makes a shadow thin and ungraspable. She wants to touch her.”
• Physical touch as both memory and miracle:
  • “The bones under my mother’s skin... feel like sharp winter rain.”
  • “My fingers soothe with heavy cream. Is this what laying on of hands means?”
• An evocative reflection on the relics and reminders of care:
  • “Once my mother touched a garment and said, full of an awe, full of sadness, she touched this. Her skin was inside of this.”
• Endnote:
  • “My mother’s back shines like the hands I wipe on the towel’s face. Weren’t miracles always beginning this way?”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “It’s a beautiful thing to just stand in the kitchen and hold someone for as long as they’ll let you.” — Maggie Smith [02:13]
• “We need touch. We need connection. We need soft places to land.” — Maggie Smith [03:14]
• “We can save and be saved by tenderness.” — Maggie Smith [03:19]
• “Is this what laying on of hands means?” — Ama Codjoe, “Lotioning My Mother’s Back” [04:20]
• “Weren’t miracles always beginning this way?” — Ama Codjoe, “Lotioning My Mother’s Back” [05:01]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:48] — Maggie’s reflection on tenderness and small gestures
• [01:30] — The science and significance of hugging
• [02:34] — On the world’s hardness and the need for softness and connection
• [03:19] — Introduction to Ama Codjoe’s poem
• [03:25] — Reading of “Lotioning My Mother’s Back”

Conclusion

The episode gently invites listeners to reflect on the acts of care—however small—that nourish our closest relationships and help us hold onto hope amid a difficult world. The lyrical unpacking of Codjoe’s poem, alongside Maggie’s meditations, offers a powerful reminder: tenderness is not just a salve—it is a miracle, ongoing, in the everyday ways we reach for each other.