1400: The Eulogy I Didn’t Give (I) by Bob Hicok

Episode Overview

Episode Title: 1400: The Eulogy I Didn’t Give (I) by Bob Hicok
Host: Maggie Smith
Date: November 20, 2025

In this episode of The Slowdown, host and poet Maggie Smith explores the deep connection between poetry and profound human emotions such as grief and love. Through a reading of Bob Hicok’s poem “The Eulogy I Didn’t Give (I),” Maggie reflects on poetry’s unique ability to express the ineffable, especially in moments of loss. The episode serves as both a meditation on the limits of language during grief and a celebration of poetry's transformative role in our lives.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Poetry as Witness to Emotion

Poems as Companions in Grief and Celebration
- Maggie Smith shares that even those who don't consider themselves “poetry people” often turn to poetry during pivotal life events—weddings, funerals, and other moments that “call for something more than we’re able to achieve with our own words” (01:37).
Why Poetry Speaks When We Cannot
- She notes the universality of emotions like grief, love, and gratitude, but emphasizes how inarticulate those feelings can be:
  
  “Grief, love, longing, gratitude. These are universal human emotions, and yet they are difficult to articulate. More than any genre, perhaps poetry can help us say the unsayable.” (02:06)
Personal Rituals & Poetic Traditions
- Maggie reflects on her own wedding and traditions—citing E.E. Cummings, Shakespeare, Rumi—as poets often chosen for milestones, and muses on which poems might someday accompany her own funeral (02:29).

Introduction to "The Eulogy I Didn’t Give (I)"

Maggie introduces Bob Hicok’s poem as one that “grapples with grief and with how inarticulate grief can be,” highlighting its relevance to the human need for poetry in loss (03:00).

Poem Reading: “The Eulogy I Didn’t Give (I)” by Bob Hicok

Read by Maggie Smith (03:15–05:10)

Notable Excerpts & Reflections

On the Failure of Language in Grief:

“When I wanted to say something profound that he would hear, that a tree could understand, that the wind would feel. But the only words I could come up with were a handful of dirt.” (03:30)
The Sound of Mourning:

“The sound of it hitting his coffin, as if shouting at him, woke me up...” (03:46)
Continuity & Absence:

“I am now fathered but fatherless, a being whose being can half be traced to a hole in the ground where my father’s beard is and his bones.” (04:04)
Memory, Time, & Erosion:

“...rain with patience and the greed of love to hold will slowly erase his name and everything it touches.” (04:30)
Universality of Loss:

“It always sounds like a eulogy to me, the sky trying to figure out what to say about loss and making a mess of it like the rest of us.” (04:48)

After the Poem: Final Reflections (05:12–End)

Maggie reiterates poetry’s power to help us “find our footing in an uncertain world, especially during challenging times” (05:12).
She encourages listeners to make space for poetry’s daily influence, describing it as an “infusion of poetry’s transformative power” (05:17).

Notable Quotes

“I hope that listening to The Slowdown each day and getting a little infusion of poetry’s transformative power improves your life, too. I’m here and you’re here, so I’d call us poetry people.”
— Maggie Smith (01:50)
“Poems often say what we cannot.”
— Maggie Smith (02:55)
“It always sounds like a eulogy to me, the sky trying to figure out what to say about loss and making a mess of it like the rest of us.”
— Bob Hicok, read by Maggie Smith (04:48)

Timestamps

01:37 — Maggie welcomes listeners, framing poetry as a daily grounding force.
02:29 — Reflections on poetry at special moments and the challenge of articulating emotion.
03:00 — Introduction to today’s poem and its themes.
03:15–05:10 — Full reading of “The Eulogy I Didn’t Give (I)” by Bob Hicok.
05:12–End — Closing thoughts on poetic reflection and daily practice.

Tone and Style

Maggie’s tone is warm, contemplative, and accessible. She speaks as a fellow “poetry person,” inviting listeners to find comfort, hope, and shared humanity in the attentive reading of poetry. The episode reflects the gentle intimacy and quiet revelation that are hallmarks of The Slowdown.

This summary offers a complete picture of the heart of this episode—its meditation on poetry in times of grief—and captures both the wisdom and emotional resonance that Maggie Smith and Bob Hicok bring to listeners.

Transcript

A (0:00)

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B (0:16)

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A (0:28)

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A (0:52)

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B (0:53)

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D (1:01)

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E (1:37)

I'm Maggie Smith, and this is the slowdown. As a poet and a teacher and the host of this podcast, I'm reading and listening to and thinking about poems all the time. They're part of my life every single day, and I feel very lucky in that way. Spending time with poetry each day improves my life, pure and simple. I hope that listening to the slowdown each day and getting a little infusion of poetry's transformative power improves your life, too. I'm here and you're here, so I'd call us poetry people. But even people who don't think of themselves as poetry people, people who don't spend time with poetry each day, do turn to poems when they're grieving or celebrating at weddings, funerals, and other occasions that call for something more than we're able to achieve with our own words. Grief, love, longing, gratitude. These are universal human emotions, and yet they are difficult to articulate. More than any genre, perhaps poetry can help us say the unsayable. It helps to let poets take the reins. EE Cummings is popular at weddings. I carry your heart, I carry it in my heart. And of course, Shakespeare is a solid choice. At my wedding, friends read poems by Rumi and John Ciardi. I hope there will be poems read at my funeral, too, though I'll admit I don't have any in mind yet. Maybe I'll come up with a short list, or maybe I'll let my loved ones choose. I wonder which poems might speak to them and speak for them, because poems often say what we cannot. Today's poem grapples with grief and with how inarticulate grief can be. It speaks to how much we need poetry and poems like this one. The Eulogy I Didn't Give one by Bob Hickok My ambition to be done with ambition suffered a setback at my father's funeral, when I wanted to say something profound that he would hear, that a tree could understand, that the wind would feel. But the only words I could come up with were a handful of dirt. The sound of it hitting his coffin, as if shouting at him, woke me up, and I took my clothes off and walked away, back into my life as his child, when all I wanted was to hold his hand. I am now fathered but fatherless, a being whose being can half be traced to a hole in the ground where my father's beard is and his bones. His beard will grow for a while down there and his bones will never cast a shadow and I'll always know where to go to look at his name Cut in stone rain with patience and the greed of love to hold will slowly erase his name and everything it touches. It always sounds like a eulogy to me, the sky trying to figure out what to say about loss and making a mess of it like the rest of us. The Slowdown is a production of American Public Media in partnership with the Poetry Foundation. To get a poem delivered to you daily, go to slowdownshow.org and sign up for our newsletter and find us on Instagram @downdownshow and blueskylowdownshow.org. Maggie here, host of the Slowdown Listening to and reading poetry helps us find our footing in an uncertain world, especially during challenging times. You can help keep these moments of poetry and reflection going by making a gift today. Visit slowdownshow.org donate.

Episode Overview

Episode Title: 1400: The Eulogy I Didn’t Give (I) by Bob Hicok
Host: Maggie Smith
Date: November 20, 2025

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Poetry as Witness to Emotion

Poems as Companions in Grief and Celebration
- Maggie Smith shares that even those who don't consider themselves “poetry people” often turn to poetry during pivotal life events—weddings, funerals, and other moments that “call for something more than we’re able to achieve with our own words” (01:37).
Why Poetry Speaks When We Cannot
- She notes the universality of emotions like grief, love, and gratitude, but emphasizes how inarticulate those feelings can be:
  
  “Grief, love, longing, gratitude. These are universal human emotions, and yet they are difficult to articulate. More than any genre, perhaps poetry can help us say the unsayable.” (02:06)
Personal Rituals & Poetic Traditions
- Maggie reflects on her own wedding and traditions—citing E.E. Cummings, Shakespeare, Rumi—as poets often chosen for milestones, and muses on which poems might someday accompany her own funeral (02:29).

Introduction to "The Eulogy I Didn’t Give (I)"

Maggie introduces Bob Hicok’s poem as one that “grapples with grief and with how inarticulate grief can be,” highlighting its relevance to the human need for poetry in loss (03:00).

Poem Reading: “The Eulogy I Didn’t Give (I)” by Bob Hicok

Read by Maggie Smith (03:15–05:10)

Notable Excerpts & Reflections

On the Failure of Language in Grief:

“When I wanted to say something profound that he would hear, that a tree could understand, that the wind would feel. But the only words I could come up with were a handful of dirt.” (03:30)
The Sound of Mourning:

“The sound of it hitting his coffin, as if shouting at him, woke me up...” (03:46)
Continuity & Absence:

“I am now fathered but fatherless, a being whose being can half be traced to a hole in the ground where my father’s beard is and his bones.” (04:04)
Memory, Time, & Erosion:

“...rain with patience and the greed of love to hold will slowly erase his name and everything it touches.” (04:30)
Universality of Loss:

“It always sounds like a eulogy to me, the sky trying to figure out what to say about loss and making a mess of it like the rest of us.” (04:48)

After the Poem: Final Reflections (05:12–End)

Maggie reiterates poetry’s power to help us “find our footing in an uncertain world, especially during challenging times” (05:12).
She encourages listeners to make space for poetry’s daily influence, describing it as an “infusion of poetry’s transformative power” (05:17).

Notable Quotes

“I hope that listening to The Slowdown each day and getting a little infusion of poetry’s transformative power improves your life, too. I’m here and you’re here, so I’d call us poetry people.”
— Maggie Smith (01:50)
“Poems often say what we cannot.”
— Maggie Smith (02:55)
“It always sounds like a eulogy to me, the sky trying to figure out what to say about loss and making a mess of it like the rest of us.”
— Bob Hicok, read by Maggie Smith (04:48)

Timestamps

01:37 — Maggie welcomes listeners, framing poetry as a daily grounding force.
02:29 — Reflections on poetry at special moments and the challenge of articulating emotion.
03:00 — Introduction to today’s poem and its themes.
03:15–05:10 — Full reading of “The Eulogy I Didn’t Give (I)” by Bob Hicok.
05:12–End — Closing thoughts on poetic reflection and daily practice.

wavePod

Summary

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Poetry as Witness to Emotion

Introduction to "The Eulogy I Didn’t Give (I)"

Poem Reading: “The Eulogy I Didn’t Give (I)” by Bob Hicok

Notable Excerpts & Reflections

After the Poem: Final Reflections (05:12–End)

Notable Quotes

Timestamps

Tone and Style

Transcript

Summary

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Poetry as Witness to Emotion

Introduction to "The Eulogy I Didn’t Give (I)"

Poem Reading: “The Eulogy I Didn’t Give (I)” by Bob Hicok

Notable Excerpts & Reflections

After the Poem: Final Reflections (05:12–End)

Notable Quotes

Timestamps

Tone and Style