Transcript
A (0:00)
Looking for a last minute gift for your people. You know, your people. That weird bunch of friends and family that you love dearly. Well, here's an easy idea. Oregon Lottery Holiday Scratchets. Because your people, they're the ones that, amidst all the holiday crowds and endless notifications, help you find the fun. Which calls for a little gift that brings big cheer. Oregon Lottery Holiday Scratchets. You know where to find them. Grab some today. Must be 18 or older to play. Lottery games are based on chance and should be played for entertainment only.
B (0:30)
Marshall's buyers are hustling hard to get amazing new gifts into stores right up to the last minute. Like a designer perfume for that friend who never RSVP'd wishlist topping toys for her kids who came too. Belgian chocolates for the neighbor, a cozy scarf for your boss, and a wool jacket for your husband that you definitely did not almost forget. Marshalls, we get the deals. You gift the good stuff even at the last minute. Find a Marshall's near you.
C (1:05)
I'm Maggie Smith, and this is the Slowdown. Most of us are probably familiar with the five stage stages of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. This model was developed by Elisabeth Kubler Ross, who published a book in 1969 called On Death and Dying. Kubler Ross used these five stages to describe what people with terminal illness experienced when facing their own death. In time, though, the model was adapted as a way of thinking about other kinds of grief. Grief in general. When I first learned about the five stages of grief, I thought, that sure sounds neat and orderly to me. First stage one, then stage two, and so on. As if grieving a terrible loss. You might think, well, I'm in bargaining now, so I must be getting close to depression or I'm not in denial anymore, so acceptance must be on the way. As if you could hold a road atlas and see how far you have left to travel. But grief, as so many of us know, isn't neat and orderly. Kubler Ross knew this too. She explained that the stages of grief are nonlinear. You might only experience some of the stages of grief. You might experience them in a completely different order. It's more a la carte than a five course meal. As a poet, I think one of my personal stages of grief is writing. When I experience deep loss, there is a part of me that needs to try to articulate that loss. I wouldn't say that writing about loss is healing. Writing doesn't restore who or what's been lost. There are distances we can't cross, things we can't fully understand. But we try with language and there is honor in the trying. Today's poem articulates grief in a way I admire so deeply. It reminds me that what we do in elegies, Poems for the Dead is right about life and about living. On Proliferation by Cass Daunish we talked about birds, assemblages, hybrids. We talked about the gap between world with glacier and world with image of glacier. Now I'm left in the gap between world with you and world with image of you. The gap between your biological life and your so called death. People talk about moving on, but I'm here in the fringe, in the expanse, watching for you, listening for your song. I surround myself with things that represent you, things that are you. You charge my home checker, bloom paintbrush, tea towel, jewel flower and the dust of rock flower and modern bones. I think of your face, the image of your face, your actual face. Every day I talk to pictures of you. I talk to you, actual you. You said metonymy, when it's good is more than simply language. Change of name. It is ontological, it is extension, your existence. You will let us in on it if we let you. By perceiving you, I extend you. By remembering you, I extend you. By imagining you, I extend you, actual you, I kiss you, my lips pressed flat to glass. The Slowdown is a production of American Public Media in partnership with the Poetry Foundation. To get a poem delivered to you daily, go to slowdownshow.org and sign up for our newsletter and find us on Instagram slowdownshow and bluesky slowdownshow.org SA. Each day on the Slowdown we take a breath together and look closely at this world, its beauty, its aches, its small shining moments. If this daily pause has meant something to you, I hope you'll consider supporting it. Please make a donation before the year ends and help keep this space for reflection alive. Donate now@slowdownshow.org or click the link in the show notes and thank you.
