1420: Losing the Band by Ashley D. Escobar - The Slowdown: Poetry & Reflection Daily

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Episode Overview

Podcast: The Slowdown: Poetry & Reflection Daily
Episode: 1420 – “Losing the Band” by Ashley D. Escobar
Air Date: December 25, 2025
Host: Maggie Smith

This Christmas Day episode of The Slowdown centers on the themes of absence, memory, and longing during the holidays, using Ashley D. Escobar’s poem “Losing the Band” as a lens. Host Maggie Smith reflects on how traditions highlight both presence and absence among loved ones, and how poetry helps us process these emotional complexities. The episode offers listeners a meditation on missing people—those far away, those gone—and on finding connection across distance, especially on days dense with tradition.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Emotional Complexity of Holiday Traditions

[01:09 – 03:20]

Maggie Smith opens with personal meditation on Christmas, highlighting the bittersweet mix of togetherness and absence.
She speaks about the limitations of physical gatherings and the longing for those who can’t join—due to distance or because they’ve passed away.
Traditions become “constants,” making the “variables”—those missing—more sharply felt:

“There are people dear to me who won’t be in that room or around the dining table... Some are no longer with us. Their absence, their distance from us, is felt all year round, but is more acute on holidays.” (Maggie Smith, 02:50)
Describes efforts to bridge these absences—calls, texts, photos, Facetime—suggesting technology helps soothe, but never fully erases, the sting of distance.

Introducing the Poem and the Mood

[03:21 – 03:50]

Maggie highlights the poem’s compact physical form, but its emotional resonance:

“Today’s poem is fairly compact in its form, the way it looks on the page, but it’s so full of distance. And where there’s distance, there’s longing.” (Maggie Smith, 03:40)
She frames the reading as an exploration of yearning and the way poetry collapses time and distance.

Poem: “Losing the Band” by Ashley D. Escobar

[03:51 – 05:54]

The poem is read in full by Maggie Smith.
Evokes subtle but potent images of memory and separation—holiday impressions, unfinished rituals (like a present unwrapped), and repeated gestures of remembrance and longing.
Notable lines from the poem:

“I should be somewhere three hours ahead from now.”
“I haven’t wrapped your present yet.”
“I kept your tulips in the icebox and the tambourine in the fireplace...”
“I’ll wait all night in 30 degrees if it means icicles on spidery branches and pure noise.”
The poem’s details—winter, keepsakes, missed opportunities—capture the ache of absence and the small ways we seek connection.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On the meaning of absence during holidays:

“Their absence, their distance from us, is felt all year round, but is more acute on holidays. Like Christmas, traditions are constants, so the variables, the things that have changed, stand out all the more.”
(Maggie Smith, 02:55)
On the poem’s resonance:

“But it’s so full of distance. And where there’s distance, there’s longing.”
(Maggie Smith, 03:44)
From the poem:

“I won’t sleep on your side of the desk when you’re not here; we’ll hitchhike back to our world of air mail sailboats and wind-up toys and have teeth.”
(Ashley D. Escobar, as read by Maggie Smith, 05:10)
Closing emotional image:

“I’ll wait all night in 30 degrees if it means icicles on spidery branches and pure noise.”
(Ashley D. Escobar, 05:40)

Timestamps for Key Segments

[01:09] – Maggie Smith’s reflection on Christmas, absence, and traditions.
[03:40] – Framing of the poem “Losing the Band” and themes of distance and longing.
[03:51 – 05:54] – Full reading of “Losing the Band” by Ashley D. Escobar.
[05:55] – Brief outro and call to sign up for the newsletter.

Conclusion

This episode of The Slowdown offers a nuanced blend of reflection, memory, and poetic resonance, making it a rich companion for anyone grappling with the complexities of holidays and absence. Through gentle yet piercing observations, and a quietly powerful poem, listeners are encouraged to sit with their longing and honor both the presence and absence of loved ones.

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Transcript4 lines

[00:00]
A
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[00:28]
B
Hello Slowdown listeners. Poetry Magazine has a special offer just for you. Subscribe to one year of Poetry Magazine today and receive their limited edition tote bag for $39. That's the cost of one Loboo. You'll receive 10 beautifully curated print magazines of contemporary poetry, unlimited digital access via the Poetry Magazine app and a tote bag to carry it all. Subscribe today@poetrymagazine.org Slowdown25 to receive this special offer.
[01:09]
C
I'm Maggie Smith and this is the Slowdown. It's Christmas and though I'll see a lot of people I love today, I won't see everyone I love. That's the thing about traditions. They put us in certain places with certain people and we are lucky for that. But only so many people can fit into a living room or around a dining table. Only so many of our loved ones live close by or can travel to us for the holidays. There are some people we just miss. We might call or text them on a holiday. We might send photos of our festivities to them and we might ask for photos of their celebrations so we feel like we are together in some small way. Some years at our holiday parties, we facetime absent loved ones passing the phone from person to person so we can all see each other's faces. This year I'll be with my kids and I'll see my parents and my siblings. I'll see my niece and nephews and some aunts and uncles and cousins. I'll even see some family friends. But there are people dear to me who won't be in that room or around the dining table. Some will be elsewhere with their own families. Some are no longer with us. Their absence, their distance from us, is felt all year round, but is more acute on holidays. Like Christmas, traditions are constants, so the variables, the things that have changed, stand out all the more. Here's to the people we love who are with us during the holidays. And here's to the people we love and miss. Today's poem is fairly compact in its form, the way it looks on the page, but it's so full of distance. And where there's distance, there's longing. Losing the Band by Ashley D. Escobar I spot a bug on the wicker chair across from me. I should be somewhere three hours ahead from now. Nobody wants a novel about a girl swept in Christmas. Mine would be called Losing the Band. I try to make out last December through the fog in my glasses All I taste is a stranger's breathy vocals I climbed up loaves of bread breaking fever to hear the last of the reverb I haven't wrapped your present yet I let the bug crawl up my translucent tights I remember our first snow and the way the street lamp lit up streaked in paint thinner white. I kept your tulips in the icebox and the tambourine in the fireplace I won't sleep on your side of the desk when you're not here we'll hitchhike back to our world of air mail sailboats and wind up toys and have teeth. On the same day I leave a message using speech to text as the bug leaves my line of vision. I'll wait all night in 30 degrees if it means icicles on spidery branches and pure noise. The Slowdown is a production of American Public Media in partnership with the Poetry Foundation. To get a poem delivered to you daily, go to slowdownshow.org and sign up for our newsletter. Find us on Instagram @downdownshow and blueskylowdownshow.org. Hello, Slow down listeners.
[06:58]
B
Poetry Magazine has a special offer just for you. Subscribe to one year of Poetry Magazine today and receive their limited edition tote bag for $39. That's the cost of one Loboo. You'll receive 10 beautifully curated print magazines of contemporary poetry, unlimited digital access via the Poetry Magazine app and a tote bag to carry it all. Subscribe today@poetrymagazine.org Slowdown25 to receive this special offer.