The Slowdown: Poetry & Reflection Daily

Episode 1432: "The Good Guy" by Blas Falconer

Host: Maggie Smith
Date: January 12, 2026

Episode Overview

In this episode, host Maggie Smith explores the complexities of love, consideration, and partnership through personal reflection and a moving reading of Blas Falconer’s poem "The Good Guy." The episode centers on how small moments of tenderness and patience in relationships—especially within families—can carry profound emotional weight. Through both her commentary and the poem itself, Smith highlights the everyday labor of love and the quiet acts of caring that shape our most important bonds.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Influence of Online Relationship Content

• [01:05] Maggie relates how social media algorithms feed her a steady stream of videos and posts about relationships—attachment styles, communication, advice on identifying healthy or toxic dynamics.
  • "If you're anything like me, you spend more time online than is probably good for you."
  • Much of the advice is ignored and becomes "part of the static," but some sticks with her.

Reducing Love to “Consideration”

• Maggie recalls a viral definition of love as "admiration plus consideration," noting both its simplicity and its inadequacy:
  • "Like what recipe has only two ingredients? Even brownies from a boxed mix have more ingredients than that."
  • She finds herself especially drawn to the idea of consideration—being unselfish, making others' needs and wants a top priority.

On the Nature of Consideration

• [02:10]
  • "To be considerate is to be unselfish. It's making others’ feelings and their needs and wants a top priority, not only our feelings, needs, and wants."
• This theme—balancing self with others—serves as a bridge to the episode’s featured poem.

Parenting, Marriage, and the Extra “Layer of Work”

• Relationships become more demanding with children, adding "another layer of love and another layer of work, another level of consideration."

Featured Poem: "The Good Guy" by Blas Falconer

Read by Maggie Smith at [03:30]

• The poem captures an intimate, difficult moment between partners—crying together quietly so as not to disturb their children, then falling asleep together on the couch.
• The garden becomes both a literal and metaphorical image: the labor of tending, the letting go, the things left to rot and be buried.
• The sadness is described with tactile, domestic imagery—a "painting you hung on the wall, a silver bowl you filled with coins from countries you might never see again."
• The poem ends with a moment of parental sacrifice—the resignation to being "the bad guy" when the children need something, and one parent rises to tend to them.

Notable Quote (Blas Falconer, via poem, [04:20]):

“We stood on the back porch in the late afternoon,
crying hard but quiet so the kids wouldn't hear,
and looked at each other. After,
tired, we fell asleep on the couch,
which we hadn't done in years."

Memorable Moment ([04:50]):

“I woke up in the early evening to a sadness
like something I could point to,
a painting you hung on the wall, a silver bowl
you filled with coins from countries you might never see again.”

Closing Resonance ([05:10]):

“Now I get to be the bad guy.
Until one stopped the game to say, ‘I’m hungry.’
‘Me too,’ the other said,
and you got up slowly
and made your way to the kitchen.”

Episode Tone & Reflection

• Maggie’s tone is meditative and gently humorous, offering self-aware commentary about the overload of digital advice and the irreplaceable complexity of real-life relationships.
• She navigates gracefully between the personal and the poetic, centering the idea that love is not reducible to a simple formula but is most visible in brave, considerate acts—often in moments of ordinary exhaustion and care.

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:05 – Maggie introduces the subject of online relationship content and her skepticism about simple wisdom.
• 02:10 – Discussion on the meaning and importance of 'consideration' in love.
• 03:30 – Introduction to today’s poem and reflection on relationship work.
• 03:55 – Full reading of "The Good Guy" by Blas Falconer.
• 05:10 – Closing lines of the poem, underscoring the theme of parental sacrifice and daily acts of love.

Notable Quotes

• Maggie Smith, [02:10]:
  “To be considerate is to be unselfish. It's making others feelings and their needs and wants a top priority, not only our feelings, needs, and wants.”

• Maggie Smith, reflecting on viral advice, [01:50]: "Like what recipe has only two ingredients? Even brownies from a boxed mix have more ingredients than that."

• Blas Falconer (via poem), [04:50]:
  “I woke up in the early evening to a sadness like something I could point to, a painting you hung on the wall, a silver bowl you filled with coins from countries you might never see again.”

Summary Takeaway

This episode of The Slowdown offers a gentle meditation on the patience and sacrifice embedded in family love. Through Maggie Smith’s reflection and her heartfelt reading of “The Good Guy,” listeners are invited to consider that real love is revealed not in grand gestures but in quiet acts of care, resilience, and consideration—especially in the hard moments that parents and partners share.