Episode Overview

Podcast: The Slowdown: Poetry & Reflection Daily
Episode: 1452: "A Backstory Beyond My Recounting" by Paulann Petersen
Host (Guest Host): Samia Bashir
Date: February 9, 2026

In this episode, guest host Samia Bashir explores themes of self-identity, bodily experience, judgment, and agency, using Paulann Petersen’s poem “A Backstory Beyond My Recounting” as a springboard for reflection. Bashir brings a personal and contemplative tone, connecting her own body narrative to the universal questions raised by the poem. The episode invites listeners to reconsider their relationship to themselves in the face of societal scrutiny, emphasizing both our cosmic origins and our daily autonomy over self-definition.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Personal Inquiry: “Who or What Am I?”

Timestamps: 01:16 – 02:31

• Bashir recounts a conversation—a friend asks, “who or what I thought I was.” Her offhand answer: “even stardust.”
  • Quote: “I replied casually, offhandedly, even stardust. And I mean, that's technically true, but I don't think it was the answer my interlocutor was looking for.” (01:24)
• She reflects on how such existential questions are sometimes intended not to probe for deeper meaning but to “cut the respondent down to... a more appropriate size.”

2. Body, Judgment, and Social Context

Timestamps: 02:31 – 03:25

• Bashir meditates in solitude: “stretched out in a bathtub with nothing at hand but the poetry of my own body and the water in which it's immersed.”
• She describes being made to feel “wanting” by others’ standards and recounts personal bodily experiences, including surgical correction of polydactyly (born with six fingers and toes).
  • Quote: “A rather curvy black American woman, I long ago grew accustomed to my body being subjected to the judgment of others and found wanting.” (02:54)
• Broader concern about the “deleterious effects of social media on young women and girls,” citing both anecdotal and scientific evidence.

3. Agency in Self-Identity

Timestamps: 03:25 – 03:57

• The episode pivots to the empowering aspect of self-determination:
  • “What I know too, is that at the end of the day, the makeup of the body in question does not even matter to those who would throw their biting grenades.”
• Bashir draws a line between social judgment and personal agency, suggesting we “get to choose the answer to that question every moment of every day.”
  • Quote: “We get to choose the who at least, and what a gift that the what remains what it's always stardust. All we have to do is shine.” (03:48)

4. The Poem: “A Backstory Beyond My Recounting” by Paulann Petersen

Timestamps: 03:57 – 05:37

• Bashir reads Petersen’s poem, which contemplates the cyclical creation of the world and the interconnectedness of all matter.
• Key lines from the poem:
  • “Unaccountably old, the world is a world class self starter, ever used to making itself anew again and again out of the makings of itself from that first stellar stuff.”
  • “I'm writing myself onto this paper that was once a pine, that was cone, that was cloud not so long before having been ocean, that was the prior glint of rain.”
  • “With care I must choose the words to write onto this sea that too is a seed, that too is the sky's overcast.”
  • “The pen in my hand has just five words ago contrived to make that mark of its own name. And now we'll do so one more time before I end, Calling itself Reconfigured Star.” (05:20)

5. Reflection and Takeaway

Timestamps: 05:37 – 05:59

• The act of writing — and, by extension, living — is portrayed as an act of ongoing reconfiguration and renewal, linking us back to the “stardust” of our origins.
• The poem offers a meditative affirmation that our daily actions contribute to our ongoing sense of self.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Identity and Stardust

  • Samia Bashir: “I replied casually, offhandedly, even stardust. And I mean, that's technically true, but I don't think it was the answer my interlocutor was looking for.” (01:24)

• On Bodily Judgment

  • Samia Bashir: “A rather curvy black American woman, I long ago grew accustomed to my body being subjected to the judgment of others and found wanting.” (02:54)

• On Agency and Choice

  • Samia Bashir: “We ourselves get to choose the answer to that question every moment of every day. We get to choose the who at least, and what a gift that the what remains what it's always stardust.” (03:40)

• On Cosmic Connection and Creation

  • Paulann Petersen (via Bashir): “Unaccountably old, the world is a world class self starter, ever used to making itself anew again and again out of the makings of itself from that first stellar stuff.” (04:00)
  • Paulann Petersen: “The pen in my hand has just five words ago contrived to make that mark of its own name. And now we'll do so one more time before I end, Calling itself Reconfigured Star.” (05:20)

Segment Timestamps

• Musings on Self-Definition and Stardust: 01:16 – 02:31
• Body and Social Judgment: 02:31 – 03:25
• Agency and Self-Determination: 03:25 – 03:57
• Poem Recitation (“A Backstory Beyond My Recounting”): 03:57 – 05:37
• Final Reflections and Credits: 05:37 – 05:59

Tone and Language

Samia Bashir delivers the episode in a warm, candid, and poetic style. She seamlessly blends personal narrative with philosophical and literary reflection, echoing the contemplative and hopeful ethos that defines The Slowdown.

Summary Takeaway

This episode gently but powerfully invites listeners to question and reframe their own stories of self. Through personal vulnerability and the luminous lines of Paulann Petersen’s poem, Bashir encourages embracing the agency to define oneself, holding both our ordinary humanness and our cosmic origins with equal reverence. The poem acts as a reminder of our perpetual renewal — that we, too, are “reconfigured stars,” writing and rewriting ourselves each day.