[encore] 1168: Refusing Rilke's "You must change your life" by Remica Bingham-Risher

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Slowdown: Poetry & Reflection Daily Episode: [Encore] 1168: Refusing Rilke's "You Must Change Your Life" by Remica Bingham-Risher
Release Date: May 28, 2025
Host: Major Jackson
Produced by: American Public Media in partnership with The Poetry Foundation

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Introduction

In this encore episode of The Slowdown: Poetry & Reflection Daily, host Major Jackson revisits a poignant exploration of self-acceptance and the challenges of striving for perfection. The episode centers around Remica Bingham-Risher’s evocative poem "Refusing Rilke's 'You Must Change Your Life'," delving into the internal conflicts and societal pressures that compel individuals to seek continuous self-improvement.

Host’s Reflection and Transition

[00:31] Major Jackson begins by addressing his transition from hosting The Slowdown, inviting listeners to journey through archived episodes. He reflects on the abundance of poetry and reflection the show offers, emphasizing the collective experience of pausing and engaging with profound literary works.

“With such a deep well of poetry and reflection, it's a pleasure to revisit these moments together.”
— Major Jackson [00:31]

The Struggle for Perfection

Major Jackson candidly shares his personal struggles with perfectionism, describing how the relentless pursuit of flawlessness has impacted his storytelling and relationships. He humorously admits to considering a storytelling class due to frequent missteps in narratives.

“I am afflicted with the idea that I must be perfect at everything, and thus I go all out to achieve flawlessness.”
— Major Jackson [01:15]

He further elaborates on his obsession with self-improvement, attributing it partly to his astrological inclination and the haunting repetition of Rilke’s famous line, which serves as a constant reminder of his perceived shortcomings.

“I live with Rilke's famous line, 'you must change your life,' in my ear, on repeat, an earworm.”
— Major Jackson [02:10]

Introduction to the Poem

Transitioning to the poem, Major Jackson sets the stage for Remica Bingham-Risher’s "Refusing Rilke's 'You Must Change Your Life'," highlighting the tension between societal expectations and personal contentment. He conveys how the poem serves as a counter-narrative to the relentless push for self-transformation.

“Today's poem invites me to consider the fact that I am fine just as I am, to take stock of blessings before me...”
— Major Jackson [04:50]

Analyzing the Poem

"Refusing Rilke's 'You Must Change Your Life'" is a contemplative piece that rejects the notion of constant self-improvement. Instead, it emphasizes valuing everyday objects and moments that symbolize stability, heritage, and personal history.

Key Themes:

• Self-Acceptance: The poem underscores the importance of recognizing one’s intrinsic worth without the need for perpetual change.
• Value of the Mundane: It celebrates ordinary items—books, seashells, household objects—as repositories of memory and meaning.
• Cultural and Familial Heritage: The poem reflects on inherited traditions and possessions that anchor the speaker’s identity.

Notable Lines:

• “An earworm. As if something is less than stellar about who I am today...”
  — Major Jackson [03:30]

• “A wooden spoon laced in scripture. Anniversary cards for old loves...”
  — Major Jackson [05:05]

Insights and Personal Connection

Major Jackson connects deeply with the poem, revealing how the pursuit of perfection has led to alienation and dissatisfaction. He acknowledges the health risks associated with constant striving and the loss of meaningful connections with loved ones.

“Pursuing perfection has at times alienated me from those I hold dear.”
— Major Jackson [05:40]

The poem serves as a gentle reminder to appreciate the present and the tangible aspects of life that often go unnoticed in the quest for betterment.

Conclusion and Takeaways

In wrapping up, Major Jackson emphasizes the poem’s message of embracing oneself and one’s environment without the compulsion to incessantly change. He encourages listeners to find solace and contentment in their current state, valuing the richness of their lives as they are.

“To take stock of blessings before me, to regard family traditions and cultural inheritances as stabilizing forces that settle my heart.”
— Major Jackson [06:00]

This episode of The Slowdown offers a profound reflection on the balance between self-improvement and self-acceptance, urging listeners to cherish the present and the simple yet significant elements that compose their lives.

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Notable Quotes

• Major Jackson [00:31]: “With such a deep well of poetry and reflection, it's a pleasure to revisit these moments together.”
• Major Jackson [01:15]: “I am afflicted with the idea that I must be perfect at everything, and thus I go all out to achieve flawlessness.”
• Major Jackson [02:10]: “I live with Rilke's famous line, 'you must change your life,' in my ear, on repeat, an earworm.”
• Major Jackson [04:50]: “Today's poem invites me to consider the fact that I am fine just as I am, to take stock of blessings before me...”
• Major Jackson [05:05]: “A wooden spoon laced in scripture. Anniversary cards for old loves...”
• Major Jackson [05:40]: “Pursuing perfection has at times alienated me from those I hold dear.”
• Major Jackson [06:00]: “To take stock of blessings before me, to regard family traditions and cultural inheritances as stabilizing forces that settle my heart.”

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Final Notes

This episode serves as an introspective journey, highlighting the delicate balance between striving for growth and embracing one's current self. Remica Bingham-Risher’s poem, under Major Jackson’s thoughtful analysis, offers listeners a space to reflect on their personal narratives and the value they place on unchanging aspects of their lives.

For those interested in exploring more, The Slowdown invites listeners to browse their extensive back catalog featuring previous hosts and guest appearances by renowned poets.

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Connect with The Slowdown:

• Website: slowdownshow.org
• Newsletter Signup: Available on the website
• Instagram: @slowdown_show

Produced by APM Studios in partnership with The Poetry Foundation and supported by the National Endowment for the Arts.

Transcript

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It'S me, Major Jackson. As I transition from my role as host of the Slowdown, we're taking a look through our archive of episodes. With such a deep well of poetry and reflection, it's a pleasure to revisit these moments together. Here's an episode from my time on the show. I'm Major Jackson and this is the Slowdown. Have you ever told what you thought was a funny story, yet struggled to get the timeline right? Or maybe you forgot who did what and when and then had to double back and when you lost grip? That's when you sense your audience becoming impatient, secretly wishing you would get to the punchline or point of the story. But then by the time you eased into your Aesop groove, the opportunity to charm vanished. I never have that problem. Actually, I have that problem all the time. Enough that I nearly enrolled in a storytelling class. I am afflicted with the idea that I must be perfect at everything, and thus I go all out to achieve flawlessness. I read manuals, watch endless YouTube videos, enroll in on the fly courses. I measure my growth by my last failure. I am told this has to do with my astrological side. I live with Rilke's famous line, you must change your life in my ear, on repeat, an earworm. As if something is less than stellar about who I am today, I move instinctively towards myself as though I were a massive project, believing I will someday again. Enrique's words burst like a star that this is how to be seen, to be loved, to be cherished. This quest has distorted my sense of what is important, sown constant dissatisfaction and emotional states of being that pose health risks. Pursuing perfection has at times alienated me from those I hold dear. Not that I don't love them or they me, but I get tunnel vision in seeking some heroic terminus. Today's poem invites me to consider the fact that I am fine just as I am, to take stock of blessings before me, to regard family traditions and cultural inheritances as stabilizing forces that settle my heart refusing Rilke's yous Must Change youe Life by Ramika Bingham Rischer 6,000 books and counting Large seashells and plastic bins collected by your daughter. A wooden spoon laced in scripture. Anniversary cards for old loves. Cards for housewarming for gratitude. One ivory program with raised lettering. Ceramic dishes older than you carried from your mother's house. Her mother's house. Whoever made them useful first. Unlaced shoes, beltless jackets, strapless gowns and satin robes. A wooden chest carved by hand telling a story not unlike the years of photos kept inside Old concert leaflets. Dental records, things you've been searching for and have misplaced. Certificates, ironclad agreements, signatures that might save some if others are hampered by debt or waste. A glasswork brooch painted over a safe deposit box with no key or lock. A pair of baby socks and toys full of dust. A statuette black bride and groom above the dresser filled to the brim with us the Slowdown is a production of American Public Media in partnership with the Poetry Foundation. This project is also supported in part by the National Endowment for the Arts. On the [e-mail] to get a poem delivered to you daily, go to slowdownshow.org and sign up for our newsletter and find us on Instagram at Slowdown show.

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