The Southern Tea Podcast

Episode: Encore: A Story Of Disappointment with Jessica Turner
Release Date: July 2, 2025
Host: Lindsie Chrisley
Guest: Jessica Turner

Overview

This heartfelt episode features Lindsie Chrisley interviewing Jessica Turner, a bestselling author and content creator whose new book, I Thought It Would Be Better Than This, explores themes of disappointment, resilience, and personal growth following the unexpected end of her marriage. Together, they delve into the realities of navigating disappointment, healing from trauma, rebuilding self-worth, and the importance of community and self-care.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Jessica Turner's Journey and Writing Process

• Switch to Nashville & Early Marriage:
  • Jessica, originally from Wisconsin, moved to Nashville after college and started her married life there (03:15).
• Book Origins & Healing Through Writing:
  • The idea for I Thought It Would Be Better Than This began after Jessica’s husband came out during the pandemic, leading to their divorce after 16 years (03:38).
  • Despite followers immediately asking her to write about her experience, Jessica needed time to process before chronicling her story (03:38).
  • Inspiration and encouragement came from her community (notably author Mallory Ervin and publisher contacts) and from a desire to serve other women facing disappointment (04:47).
  • “To whom much is given, much is required.” — Jessica Turner (04:13)
• Authenticity in Storytelling:
  • The intent was for readers to feel as though they were “sitting in [Jessica’s] living room” and for the book to feel both comforting and actionable for those experiencing disappointment (06:01).

Navigating Disappointment and Trauma

• The Wiring Analogy:

  • Jessica shared a powerful story about discovering hazardous electrical wiring behind crown molding during a home remodel, likening it to subconscious issues that remain hidden until you “rewire” after trauma (09:18).
  • “It looked fine. But then right behind that molding was this fire hazard… there’s things like that in our own lives where it looks like things are fine, but they’re actually not fine.” — Jessica Turner (10:21)

• Staying in the Marital Home Post-Divorce:

  • Jessica chose to stay, remodel, and reclaim her family home, making it her own sanctuary (12:22).
  • Contrast: Lindsie, in her own divorce, wanted to erase everything and start new, underscoring that recovery looks different for everyone (13:47).

The Divorce Process & Therapeutic Journeys

• Unique Divorce Circumstances:

  • Jessica and her ex-husband Matthew continued living together for nine months post-disclosure for stability and to try therapy, circling between separation and the hope of reconciliation (16:22–18:48).
  • Navigating therapy as both a couple and individually was a lifeline, especially during the loneliness of the pandemic.
  • “I fought for my marriage and there’s nothing more I could have done...I just didn’t want to get divorced.” — Jessica Turner (17:28)

• Struggles of Sharing Personal Truths:

  • The pressure of being “authentic” online while managing deeply personal pain and uncertainty felt particularly acute for Jessica as a public figure (18:48).
  • “You have an obligation to share with your community…the things that you’re going through. And then almost feel…like you’re not being authentic or you’re being a fraud.” — Lindsay Chrisley (19:09)

Healing, Grief, and Acceptance

• Parallel Truths:

  • Jessica speaks about holding simultaneous truths: being happy in her current life and still grieving for what was lost (22:33).
  • “I am wildly happy…I will always be sad that the story that I thought I was going to have…ended. Even though things have worked out differently and better and are beautiful...that doesn’t take away from the pain of what was.” — Jessica Turner (23:10)

• On Scars and Healing:

  • Healing doesn’t eliminate pain; it leaves scars that may ache under new stress, but they signify survival and growth (07:23).
  • “That is a very subtle, nuanced distinction, but I think it’s important…You will have a wound that will scar over and you will have scar tissue that will still occasionally ache. A scar marks you. This experience marked you, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t healed.” — Jessica Turner (40:00)

• The Iceberg/Roots Analogy:

  • Real change requires digging beneath the surface of trauma, not just addressing what is visible (38:07).

Rewiring Self-Image and Body Positivity

• Impact of Marriage on Self-Worth:
  • Jessica discusses years of blaming her body for marital intimacy issues, not realizing the complexity of her ex-husband’s sexuality (29:14; 24:09).
• Therapy & Comparison:
  • A therapy intensive at On Site transformed Jessica’s relationship to her body by turning off the comparison and focusing on internal worth (29:14–32:25).
  • “I haven’t thought about my body the whole time I was there because I wasn’t looking at pictures of anyone, I wasn’t comparing.” — Jessica Turner (31:20)
• Movement as Medicine:
  • Both Jessica and Lindsay emphasize intentional movement (walking, Pilates, Peloton) as foundational for mental and physical health (41:56–44:24).

Community, Friendship, and Building a New Life

• Investing in Friendships:
  • After divorce, both women learned the value of deepened friendships and rebalancing life beyond their previous family units (45:35).
  • “Our kids are not having a less-than childhood because six times a year I get together with my girlfriends for two hours.” — Jessica Turner (47:52)
• Modeling Healthy Relationships for Children:
  • Demonstrating that adults can and should have lives outside of parenting is essential for raising well-rounded kids (49:17–50:35).
• Practical Strategies:
  • Making time for friendships—even in small, intentional ways like 5-minute calls, texts, or cards—nurtures connection and models resilience.

Rediscovering Self: Being Your Own Home

• Becoming One’s Own Safe Haven:
  • Jessica’s journey moved from seeking “home” in others to realizing, “I am my home.”
    • “Other people can be a part of my life… but that doesn’t change that my home is in myself.” — Jessica Turner (54:00)
• Wholeness in Relationships:
  • Moving forward, bringing wholeness to a relationship rather than seeking completion in another is the healthiest dynamic (55:38).

Finding Beauty in Brokenness

• Creating with Shards:
  • Jessica describes a pottery experience using shards of broken glass to create beautiful art—a metaphor for embracing broken parts to make something new and beautiful (56:15).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On vulnerability and deep healing:

  • “It is very lonely walking through disappointment of any kind…when we face something that feels different than what we hoped…you could read this book and feel less alone.” — Jessica Turner (06:08)

• On the necessity of therapy:

  • “I’m like, oh my gosh, everybody should have a therapist, should make that time, should figure out what their insurance covers…if there’s a will, there’s a way.” — Jessica Turner (35:22)

• On movement and mental health:

  • “Movement heals you…not just physically, but emotionally.” — Jessica Turner (43:15)

• On parenting and self-care after divorce:

  • “Your son’s childhood is the sum of all things…not you don’t pick and choose, like, oh, the nights I was there…have more value than the nights I wasn’t.” — Jessica Turner (50:35)

Key Timestamps

• 00:27 — Introduction to Jessica Turner’s background and achievements
• 03:38 — Writing the book in the aftermath of divorce; finding inspiration
• 06:01 — Authentic storytelling and survivor solidarity
• 09:18 — The “rewiring” story (home remodel as a healing metaphor)
• 12:22 — Choosing to stay (or not) in the marital home post-divorce
• 16:22 — Navigating a mixed orientation marriage and the therapeutic process
• 19:09 — The burden of public authenticity vs. personal privacy
• 22:33 — Holding gratitude and grief at once
• 29:14 — Body image, comparison, and healing
• 32:25 — Benefits and challenges of attending On Site therapy intensive
• 41:56 — Integrating movement for healing mind and body
• 45:35 — The loneliness epidemic and the necessity of intentional friendships
• 54:00 — Becoming one’s own home
• 56:15 — The “shard shop” metaphor—beauty out of brokenness

Conclusion

This episode offers an authentic, unfiltered look into life after divorce and disappointment, told through the lens of Jessica Turner’s personal journey. Listeners will find comfort, practical advice, and inspiration to rewire their own lives—no matter the disappointments faced. The conversation honors the complexity of grief, celebrates small victories in friendship and self-care, and makes space for hope and new beginnings.

Connect with Jessica:

• Instagram: @jessicaNturner
• Book & Tour Info: jessicaNturner.com/tour
• I Thought It Would Be Better Than This available everywhere books & audiobooks are sold.