Jameela Jamil: What The Frick?

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Squeeze – Episode Featuring Jameela Jamil: "What The Frick?"

Podcast Information:

• Title: The Squeeze
• Host: Taylor Lautner
• Description: Focused on mental health and well-being, the podcast delves into personal stories, coping strategies, and expert insights to provide comfort and understanding to listeners.
• Episode: Jameela Jamil: What The Frick?
• Release Date: July 9, 2025

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1. Introduction and Guest Background

The episode kicks off with Taylor Lautner introducing Jameela Jamil, clarifying that this Taylor is not the actor but Jameela's husband. Jameela brings a wealth of experience from her diverse career, including acting, activism, and entrepreneurship.

Notable Quote:

• Jameela Jamil [00:10]: "I thought I could just still continue to have completely no filter publicly. I was just a little asshole."

2. Adjusting to Fame and Personal Growth

Jameela shares her initial struggles with sudden fame. She candidly discusses her early days when she didn't recognize her celebrity status and how this lack of awareness led to behavior that strained her relationships with other celebrities. Over time, Jameela matured, learning to wield her platform responsibly and advocating for positive change.

Notable Quotes:

• Jameela Jamil [04:00]: "I was forced to go to the audition. I didn't think that I had any right to be there."
• Jameela Jamil [09:44]: "I'm living proof that people can change if you just give them a bit of fucking time."

3. Body Image, Eating Disorders, and Activism

A significant portion of the conversation centers on Jameela's personal battle with body image and an eating disorder that began at age 11. She details how societal pressures, particularly those driven by male-dominated beauty standards, contributed to her struggles. Jameela emphasizes the importance of body neutrality and the need to dismantle harmful beauty norms perpetuated by industries capitalizing on women's insecurities.

Notable Quotes:

• Jameela Jamil [19:18]: "I think it's good and I don't shy away from that part of my history."
• Jameela Jamil [21:33]: "It's all about taking women's money. It's not real."
• Jameela Jamil [22:55]: "I just don't want to think about my body at all."

4. Therapy and Mental Health

Jameela discusses her experience with Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy. She contrasts it with traditional talk therapy, describing EMDR as a method that effectively "cut the problem out" of her thought patterns, leading to significant improvements in her mental health in a short period.

Notable Quotes:

• Jameela Jamil [26:26]: "EMDR felt like having surgery to cut the problem out of me."
• Jameela Jamil [29:00]: "I was traumatized into learning to do that [reading emails]."

5. Jameela's Projects: Move for Your Mind and Wrong Turns

Move for Your Mind:
Jameela introduces her initiative, "Move for Your Mind," aimed at promoting exercise as a tool for mental health rather than a means for weight loss. She critiques the performative aspects of modern fitness culture and advocates for accessible, non-judgmental spaces for physical activity.

Wrong Turns Podcast:
Expanding her media presence, Jameela discusses her new podcast, "Wrong Turns," which focuses on sharing stories of personal disasters and embarrassing moments without seeking a silver lining. This project serves as an antidote to pervasive toxic positivity, offering listeners a space to commiserate over life's imperfect moments.

Notable Quotes:

• Jameela Jamil [35:47]: "I really just want to create safe spaces."
• Jameela Jamil [46:49]: "Owning the Cluster Frick."

6. Personal Stories and Anecdotes

Jameela recounts a particularly embarrassing incident during the COVID-19 pandemic when she unintentionally hosted a live YouTube session half-dressed due to a miscommunication. This story exemplifies her theme of embracing imperfections and learning from one’s mistakes.

Notable Quotes:

• Jameela Jamil [51:16]: "I had to smash her over the head with the scale and then run out of the school. And that would have saved my life."
• Jameela Jamil [54:36]: "I'm sitting on the floor right now because I didn't read the email."

7. Rapid Fire: Lemon7 Segment

In the engaging rapid-fire segment, Jameela shares personal preferences and insights, providing a glimpse into her personality beyond her professional and activist endeavors.

Sample Responses:

• Favorite Movie/Song Describing Mental Health: "Bohemian Rhapsody."
  [60:13]
• Favorite Self-Care: "Cuddling in bed with my dogs and my boyfriend."
  [62:43]
• Most Misunderstood Thing:
  "That I give a shit what you think. I couldn't give a shit what you think."
  [64:35]
• Impact on Mental Health:
  "My boyfriend of 11 years. He is my safe space."
  [65:37]

8. Conclusion and Key Takeaways

The episode concludes with a heartfelt exchange between Taylor and Jameela, highlighting the importance of authenticity, self-acceptance, and the continuous journey of personal growth. Jameela reinforces her commitment to being a role model for embracing imperfections and advocating for mental well-being.

Notable Quotes:

• Jameela Jamil [68:14]: "We are not competing with each other. We do not have a monolithic standard."
• Jameela Jamil [68:17]: "It's so nice to meet you."

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Key Insights and Themes:

1. Authenticity Over Perfection: Emphasizing the importance of being genuine and embracing one's flaws rather than striving for an unattainable standard of perfection.

2. Mental Health Advocacy: Highlighting personal struggles with mental health and promoting therapies like EMDR as effective tools for healing.

3. Challenging Societal Norms: Critiquing the beauty industry's impact on women's self-esteem and advocating for body neutrality.

4. Embracing Imperfection: Through personal anecdotes and projects like "Wrong Turns," Jameela encourages listeners to accept and learn from their mistakes.

5. Support Systems: The significant role of supportive relationships, particularly those with loved ones like her boyfriend, in maintaining mental well-being.

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Conclusion:

In this enlightening episode of The Squeeze, Jameela Jamil offers an unfiltered glimpse into her journey of self-discovery, mental health battles, and activism. Her candid discussions serve as a source of inspiration and comfort, reinforcing the podcast's mission to provide listeners with relatable stories and practical coping strategies. Jameela's unwavering authenticity and commitment to positive change resonate deeply, reminding us that embracing our imperfections is a vital step towards genuine well-being.

Transcript

[Jamila Jamil]

The following podcast is a dear media production.

[Unknown Host]

You're just so authentically yourself. Adjusting to fame. Was there an adjustment period for you?

[Jamila Jamil]

I think just not being such a two other famous people. When I first got famous, I didn't understand I was famous. I just thought I could just still continue to have completely no filter publicly. I was just a little asshole. I really hated celebrities. I still do, but I'm calmer about it now. And I used to just be really rude about everyone. You have more power, you have more responsibility, you have more platform. You have to learn how to wield that power responsibly. Whereas I was like, I'm a little comedian, but I don't shy away from that part of my history because a means that I have a right to talk about trolls, because I was one. I understand what a dark mental place you have to be in to even go online and say something horrible to a stranger. But I also think it shows that if I can grow and change from being a misogynist to prick to being who I am now, who fights for women all the time, then anyone can change. I'm a very big advocate for believing in change because otherwise, what is the point of activism? We don't seem to have a lot of hope and faith in people anymore. I'm living proof that people can change if you just give them a bit of fucking time.

[Unknown Host]

Jamila, welcome to the Squeeze.

[Jamila Jamil]

Thank you for having me.

[Unknown Host]

I am so excited because as we were talking before, I've just, like, seen you everywhere and just the way you talk about your body and beauty and the Sansa standards really, really resonate with me. And I just love the work that.

[Unknown Advertiser]

You were doing and you're just kind of being yourself.

[Unknown Host]

So I'm excited to, like, get to hear more about your story and all of that. But we do start each episode off with a jar that I do have here with me. It's a little game called Citrus Got Real. It's just like a fun little icebreaker question. So I'm going to pull a little piece of paper out of there for you since you are not with me in the flesh. Let's see what this says. Ooh, if you were a board game, what would. Which one would you be? And why Scrabble?

[Jamila Jamil]

Because I'm a pedant and Scrabble is a pedantic and infuriating board game. And. And I think it suits me perfectly. Very, like, anal, very precise about things. Sometimes. Sometimes not precise enough. Yeah. But yeah, Scrabble, Scrabble, that's good.

[Unknown Host]

I have to out figure like, mine. Mine right now would be Candyland because I like, I've been on a really big, like, sweet kick recently.

[Jamila Jamil]

Oh, nice. Yeah, yeah.

[Unknown Host]

My husband does not. He is not a sweets person. He's definitely like a more.

[Jamila Jamil]

I don't trust him then. Honestly, I used to really like him until just now.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah, I know.

[Jamila Jamil]

He is finding that out is really. Actually, I think I'm gonna go.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

Bye.

[Unknown Host]

It's probably for the best. End it now.

[Jamila Jamil]

People without sweet tooth freak me out and he doesn't.

[Unknown Host]

He also has this weird thing where he doesn't like fruit in food. Like any form of. Like, he likes cookies, but if it's like a lemon.

[Jamila Jamil]

Oh, fruit in savory food is demonic. I'm now with him again.

[Unknown Host]

I'm back. Do you like strawberries in like a salad though, or.

[Jamila Jamil]

Absolutely not. No, that is okay. Yeah.

[Unknown Host]

Okay.

[Jamila Jamil]

Yeah, yeah.

[Unknown Host]

Okay, great. Then you guys will get along. Part of you, part of you back in the room. Oh, my gosh, that's so good. Okay, so I actually have a question for you. In doing my prep for this was the Good Place your first scripted show?

[Jamila Jamil]

Yeah, my first audition.

[Unknown Host]

That's so. That's so crazy to me. Like, how.

[Jamila Jamil]

How did that.

[Unknown Host]

How did that come to be? Was that something you were seeking out?

[Jamila Jamil]

I. I just. I. I was forced to go to the audition. I didn't think that I had any right to be there. And my manager really needed someone who was tall and English and annoying and she couldn't think of anyone else, so she sent me, and I got the job. I was perfect for it.

[Unknown Host]

What was that like? Was that nerve wracking?

[Jamila Jamil]

Like, being terrifying? Like, you know, people are like, oh, I have imposter syndrome. I'm like, try being a fucking actual imposter. Okay. You want to know anxiety? Try actually not belonging there, not just thinking you don't belong there. Try actually having no idea what you're doing and then being opposite, literally the most talented people in the industry. Like, Like Ted Danson, Lisa Kudrow, Maya Rudolph, Kristen Bell, like, all of these people, and then it's just me. Just a woman off the street fighting for her life.

[Unknown Host]

Well, you fought well. You fought well and you succeeded.

[Jamila Jamil]

Thank you. I made it out Barely Alive.

[Unknown Host]

What were you doing before that?

[Jamila Jamil]

I was a dj.

[Unknown Host]

Shut up.

[Jamila Jamil]

Really? Yeah. That was my job. Yeah, I was actually really Jason Mendoza. That's who I really am. Everyone's like, oh, she's just like, Tahani. It's like, no, I'm Actually, Jason, I was a clueless, idiot dj, and that's how I met my boyfriend, who was also a DJ at the time, and he's a singer, musician. But, yeah, that's what I did. I was a dj and I wanted to be a comedy writer. And that's how I ended up in America. I'd written a script that I'm only now finally getting back to and finishing and hopefully selling the summer. But that's how I got signed to management. And then they were the ones that sent me to the good place. And then it changed the course of my life, and I had no idea that I would love acting.

[Unknown Host]

This is like, such a fun. Like, I feel like so many facets of your life are like a fun, like, party trick story. Like, I would have never guessed that. That's so cool. Do you ever. Do you ever DJ or do anything like that?

[Jamila Jamil]

Not anymore. I like. He's so good that it made me not want to do it anymore, to be perfectly honest. I was like, ah, okay, never mind. Yeah, you know, I also sing, but I'm not gonna fucking sing now that I've heard him sing. Yeah, like, no, no, thank you. I'm good, I'm good. I've been. I've been forever humbled.

[Unknown Host]

Oh, my. Wait, did I read that you produced some. Some album or something?

[Jamila Jamil]

Yeah, I produced some of his. His music, yeah. Which is a little bit awkward. Some of the songs are about me, and that is really just. It's the epitome of narcissism, isn't it?

[Unknown Host]

Truly. Truly. Are they, like, good about you, or is he, like, complaining about you in the song?

[Jamila Jamil]

It's a mixed bag. It's mostly nice. I was laughing the other day thinking back to this time he wrote this song with Travis Scott, and they were like, Travis was dating Kylie at the time and James was dating me. And they're, like, singing about their girlfriends, and Travis is like, oh, she's so fucking sexy. Like, big with a big bum, like, ass fat than a peach or something. And James's lyrics are more just sort of like, you're such a lovely person.

[Unknown Host]

Because I just don't have a sexy vibe.

[Jamila Jamil]

And I bless him for not faking it. Bless him for not, like, you know, keeping up appearances. It's just like, she's such an understanding person.

[Unknown Host]

Oh, my gosh, that's so good.

[Jamila Jamil]

James's lyrics. And so like, yeah, Travis is so randy in his lyrics. No, they're mostly lovely, wonderful songs. And then a few of them were like, at the beginning when we were a bit edgy with each other. And he quoted some of my angry lines from my emails to him. And I'm like, that's publishing. I didn't pay rent for months after that. You owe me money.

[Unknown Host]

Oh my gosh. At least he, like, is talking about the important qualities because the physical ones will. Will fade.

[Jamila Jamil]

Fade. They will fade.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah, that's.

[Jamila Jamil]

Yeah, yeah. No one's writing a song about my ass. And that I can promise you.

[Unknown Host]

And that's okay.

[Jamila Jamil]

We're fine with that.

[Unknown Host]

We're okay with that. I love that you are truly just one of the very few famous people that are like, quote, unquote, still normal. Like, I feel like you're just so authentically yourself. Do you feel like adjusting to fame? Was there an adjustment period for you?

[Jamila Jamil]

Yeah, I think just not being such a two other famous people. No, what it is, what I mean by that is when I first, you know, got famous, I didn't understand I was famous. I just thought that I could just still continue to have completely no filter publicly. And I was just a little when I was 22, and so I thought it was really fun. I really hated celebrities. I still do, but I'm calmer about it now. And I used to just be really rude about everyone and I didn't know I was one day gonna, you know, meet them. Yeah, that didn't feel very good. So I think that was one of them is just. Just understanding that you have more power, you have more responsibility, you have more platform. You have to learn how to wield that power responsibly. Whereas I was like, I'm a little comedian and just ended up offending those people. But I also think it's good and I don't shy away from that part of my history because I think it a means that I have a right to talk about trolls, because I was one. And I understand what a dark mental place you have to be in to even go online and say something horrible to a stranger or about a stranger. But I also think it shows that if I can grow and change from being a misogynist prick to being who I am now, who fights for women all the time, then anyone can change. I'm a very big advocate for believing in change because otherwise, what is the point of activism? We seem quite hope. We don't seem to have a lot of hope and faith in people anymore.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

And because I've got grown up so much in front of my own eyes and in front of the world, and it's kind of immortalized, forever in the media. I find that quite reassuring because I'm living proof that people can change if you just give them a bit of time.

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[Unknown Host]

I mean you seem like a very strong person and you seem like you, you know, you think what you think like you know what you want. Just that type of personality. Have, have you always been that way? Is that really who you are?

[Jamila Jamil]

That's. It's really who I am. I don't think I was always that way because I think when you're Young especially, you really want to find your people, so you're much more willing to be malleable, you know, with your personality to fit in. And then as you get older, you find the people who matter to you, and no one else really matters that much. And so I've kind of got my friends, my dogs, and my boyfriend. And if they like me, I'm good. I don't really need a bunch of, you know, getting older. One of the joys of getting older is realizing that you actually hate everyone. So why would you need them to like you? It's fantastic to get old and grumpy. I'm almost 40 and I despise everyone. And so now it's like, great. You don't like me. I don't like you either, because it's perfect. This is so weird. If I would want you to like me when I don't like you, you. So it's, it's. It's a joy and it's a relief. But, yeah, it was. You know, I think the amount of media manipulation when you're a woman with an opinion was something that I've always found really, really difficult to stomach because it's the lies I can't handle. When I get in trouble and I did something wrong, it stings a little bit, but there sort of fades because you're like, okay, well, I learned from this. And actually I'm. I'd rather know this than not know this. But when it's just made up bullshit or taken out of context or, you know, hyperbolized, that gets me, like, riled up because that's framing that is so unjust. And I think justice is truly, like, the driving force in my life. It's not as much compassion for other people as it is truly just justice and logic.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

And not giving people equal human rights is. Is not just hideous and immoral, but it's also illogical and it leads to broken societies.

[Unknown Host]

So.

[Jamila Jamil]

So I hate the lies that the media in inflicts upon women. We lie to protect men and we lie to demonize women.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

And that is something that really bugs me. But I've, you know, again, as you get older, you just don't care as much. You're like, you know what? It's just not actually my job to be liked or believed or appreciated. I'm just going to do what I want to do, and everyone else can really just get fudged.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah. It's honestly, it's such a freeing feeling to really like, to really actively live that out, to not Care what other people's opinions of you are to not feel like you have to please everyone.

[Jamila Jamil]

Even not caring, though, it's like, I do care.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

But I'm not going to. But I'm gonna allow myself the space and the grace to figure this out at my own speed, not at the speed of the Internet.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

You know, and so I think that's just really important that I know that I'm gonna be wrong sometimes or I'm gonna be behind or I'm gonna be out of touch because I'm a fucking celebrity and I'm gonna be tone deaf and I'm gonna make mistakes, but I'm gonna keep trying. And I know my long game. I know the long term vision and everyone else doesn't have to. And there's many people who, when we look back at their lives, we're like, oh, no, she was actually okay. We just didn't give her or him the time to figure it out.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

And so I know at my best that I have the best interest, everyone's best interest at heart. And I don't really need to prove that to anyone now. If anything, performing perfection for everyone's just going to slow me down. And so I, I make the most progress when I'm not tap dancing for everyone's projections and needs and, and I have made a lot of progress in the work that I do for human rights and stuff. And. And so I'm just carrying on, doing my thing and, and keeping the vanity out of it.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah. I love that you are a huge advocate for body neutrality and really just speaking against diet culture and where our society is at today with it. But when you were younger, you really struggle, struggled with body image and eating disorders. When, when did that start for you?

[Jamila Jamil]

I was 11 when I developed an eating disorder and it was kind of heroin chic and, and it was very normalized. So I didn't even know it was an eating disorder. I just thought it was discipline and that I was a good girl and that I was clever whenever I could find out ways to starve myself or to work off my calories. And it consumed about 20 years of my life, I would say, thinking about it, I was a very boring, very out of touch person. You know, navel gazing just makes you very tedious because you spend all of your time thinking about calories and really thinking about your body and you and how to lie to people and evade, you know, the truth. And it's this dark secret that you carry that you hide from everyone. And it's the shame and this guilt, and there's grief. It's really all consuming. And so when I managed to fight my way out of that eating disorder, I think I just made it my mission to try to liberate as many other people as I could, because I've done so much damage to my body, you know, to my bone density and to my vital organs, and I just don't want anyone else to end up like me in any way. You know, I. Sometimes women are like, oh, you make me want to cut bangs. And I'm like, don't do it. Don't. Don't be like me. But, yeah, I. I've. I had to do EMDR therapy and just took time and. And really just understanding the system that taught me to hate myself, that made me stop hating myself. Once you uncover the sort of, you know, the matrix of it all.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

Not to sound like a manosphere podcaster, but you know what I mean? Like, when you start to understand that, like, oh, this is a scam. It's a dirty little scam invented by men who don't fit the beauty standard, who own these companies that they want us to buy stuff from. And women are 80% of the market. So if women keep the economy going because we buy stuff all the time, the fastest way to make sure that women keep buying stuff is to make them always feel like they need something. What do they need? Oh, let's tell them that they're ugly and they're too fat and they're too old forever. And every time they meet a beauty standard, let's change it again so that we can keep them feeling like something's broken, and then we can sell them the salve to fix it. And that, to me, is so offensive that I think, out of spite, I got better.

[Unknown Host]

That's the strong personality.

[Jamila Jamil]

Well, it's just like. It's just. Again, it's the logic. It's like, well, I don't want to fund this man who benefits off my horrible thoughts. And whenever I hear them, I just think of these. This kind of, like, boardroom of men who are laughing at women, laughing at the way that we rush to every trend and we panic and we do the short. The shortcut because we're so desperate to meet the beauty standard now without realizing it's just gonna change again. It always changes. And it goes round and around in a loop of the same six beauty standards. And we'll be out of this moment into the next before you can even think, before you can even blink. And so out of Spite. And I think part of it for me with body neutrality was just like, it's a. It's very hard to love something that society is teaching you to hate. That just gives you another thing to fail at. But also, I just don't want to think about my body at all. I don't want to think about how much I love it or hate it. I want to think about something more interesting that isn't about me or that's at least about nourishing my brain and protecting myself and building an amazing life for my old lady self. I'm very uninterested in whether I like or don't like some bones and fat. Yeah, who cares? It's matter. Like, life is about experience. I'm not going to remember this on my deathbed. I am going to remember, you know, I don't know. Doing fun, filthy things in Italy.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah, it's. It's so true. I'm like, just hearing you say all of that. I mean, first of all, thank you for sharing it. But also, like, I just don't know. I rely on my husband actually so much when it comes to this type of stuff because he is like the most, like, all natural loving. Like, I don't feel like I have to shave my legs. I don't feel like I need to get filler. I don't. Like, he is so, like, I got Botox once and he was like, why are you doing that? Why, why are you getting that? Like, he's so. He just loves me for me. He loves, like, if I have a little extra something in the hold, he like. And it's. It's really nice for me to have that when I feel like the noise is so loud, especially with social media of how we need to look and act and all these things. And I'm so thankful that I have a partner that is.

[Jamila Jamil]

Yeah, same.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah, that's just like. No, like, you're actually beautiful, like, the way you are. You don't need to. You don't need to do this. Like, I remember one time I was like, I think I want to get a little lip filler. And he was like, what are you doing? No, you're not. You're not doing that.

[Jamila Jamil]

No. He's like, go find him. It's so interesting that so many of the beauty standards are reinforced by people who are. I sound like such an asshole when I'm about to say this and I'll regret it later, but, you know, publish and be damned. It's like a lot of people who are single and unhappy are the ones perpetuating and pushing the beauty standards on their followers. And I'm like, I think we need to hear from more people in happy relationships. You know, if, if women are going to do this, you know, I know some women are like, I do this for myself. But we all know that's a lie because of COVID when we all started to look like the little trolls that we really are.

[Unknown Host]

Yes.

[Jamila Jamil]

Okay, so just shut the fuck up. None of this is for you. It's not to empower yourself. You're doing this for society to be accepted and that's okay. And we all do it and I participate in it. It's in the demon is in all of us. But let's just leave it alone. We all had beards and one single eyebrow like mustache. No one got filler. And we started to actually like and embrace our real faces. Which is why the beauty standard became the most insane it's ever been. The most similar to an AI filter it's ever been straight after the pandemic because women got dangerously self explanatory, accepting. Anyway, I think if women are doing this from a position of I want to be seen as more attractive or have more opportunities to date, we should hear from women who are actually in loving relationships.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

Because this shit just doesn't make you happy. And it is, as I said earlier, it's all consuming. It makes you boring. And, and my friends who have, you know, who get a lot of work done, their husbands say to me privately, how do I. I don't want to tell her what to do with her face and her body, but I hate the way it looks. And so they don't feel like they're allowed to say anything to us. But also it doesn't. Someone who loves you for you isn't necessarily looking for you to perform this AI level of perfection.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

You know, I think they want to feel like you feel accepted. They. They love you for who you are and, and they don't want to see you put yourself at risk for made up beauty. Standards like that are, like I said, invented by ugly men.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah. I want to hear a little bit more about your EMDR experience because I talk a lot about therapy and I did EMDR therapy. I worked as. I'm a registered nurse and I worked as a Covid nurse during COVID and I had a lot of PTSD from it and I did EMDR for that service. But whenever someone does emdr, I'm so curious to hear how that experience was for them. How. How long AF. How old were you when you did EMDR?

[Jamila Jamil]

29.

[Unknown Host]

Okay. How was your experience with it?

[Jamila Jamil]

Great. Super fast. I was in and out three months. I only went. I only meant to go once or twice, you know, for my. I was afraid of the dark because I was abused as a child in the dark. And I couldn't sleep in the dark my whole life. And it was really starting to piss off people that I would go to bed with because then they couldn't sleep either. And so I was moving to America, and I was like, you know what? I'd really like to not go with this terror, you know, of someone being in my house or doing something to me at night. And so I went to emdr, and emdr, for me, was very quick and felt kind of like, you know, I'd never had talk therapy before. And then I tried a bit of talk therapy, and then I tried emdr. And the way I would maybe discuss the two. And I'm obviously not an expert, this is just my personal experience is that talk therapy felt like therapeutic services for a mental health problem. And surgery. Sorry. And EMDR felt like having surgery to cut the problem out of me so that I didn't have to do the work all the time. You know, a lot of what I found in therapy was me having to learn skills to cope with the trauma every time it would surface. And what EMDR felt like was it removed the trauma from my brain and from my thought patterns so that I didn't have to do that work every day, so that I never even had to bring my nervous system down because my nerve nervous system wouldn't get activated in the first place. And an example of that is my terror of the dark. You know, I was. The reason I started EMDR was to deal with the fact that I couldn't sleep in the dark at night because I was abused in the dark as a child. And so I went to this woman, and we imagined the worst things that could happen to me that did happen to me or could happen to me in the dark. And I left, and I kind of didn't feel anything. And I thought, oh, I felt a bit like a waste of money or maybe, you know, I can't be hypnotized. I'm not good at meditating. Maybe I just don't have the right brain for it. And then I went one more time, and again we did the same thing. And I didn't really feel anything when I left. And I went home and went to bed and then woke up the next morning. And realized, oh, my God, I turned all my lights off and didn't triple lock my door and didn't check under any of the bed or in any of the cupboards, which I used to routinely, obsessively do. So it just kind of left me really undramatically like a thief in the night. It was just gone. And I never had a problem sleeping in the dark by myself ever again. It almost made me too brave because then one time shortly afterwards, my house got broken into and I just walked into the house and there could have been someone in there and my boyfriend was like, too much emdr.

[Unknown Host]

Wow, that's amazing. That's such a good analogy because I, I actually feel that I've never thought about it that way, but now that you say it, I mean, me and my husband both go to talk therapy just to.

[Jamila Jamil]

Yeah, I think everyone who can accessibly tell someone their worst secrets and not have them throw it back in their face during an argument later should do talk therapy. Yeah, we'd have less war if people were doing talk therapy, if it was accessible for everyone, for sure. You know, I'm just saying, when you have, like a trauma that needs to be addressed soon.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

For me, emdr, you know, it's, it's quite intense. But I did it in three months. I got rid of all my main issues.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah. Yeah, I think, I think I did it for about a month. Obviously mine was a lot different than yours. And I think most people that do it, I think, I think it was easier for me. My husband tried it. He didn't really like it.

[Jamila Jamil]

Respond.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah, not everyone does, but for me, I think it was, I think it was really helpful too, because I, A lot of my trauma came from being in the hospital, and, you know, I developed like, claustrophobia from it and just all these little things that came from, from it. And I know that I'm not going to be working again in that because I quit my hospital job. So I, I, I know that that threat, when I was doing it, it was a lot easier for me to put myself in that. Yeah, put me right back into working and into where that trauma was, because I know that that's not going to be something that I'm going to have to deal with, hopefully ever again.

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[Unknown Host]

Okay, let's talk about your amazing, amazing project that you have. Is it Move your mind?

[Jamila Jamil]

Move for your mind? I also have a podcast coming out on Wednesday which I have to talk about.

[Unknown Host]

Yes, we're gonna, we're gonna talk about it after. Don't worry.

[Jamila Jamil]

Yeah, no, I have a, I have a project called Move for your mind. It's kind of an extension of I weigh, which was a company I started to, you know, challenge the way that women are Reduced to nothing but, you know, a number on a scale. And that's evolved into an exercise movement. Because I feel like lots of people are doing, you know, there's loads of safe spaces on the Internet now for body neutrality or for body positivity. So I like to fill in gaps that I don't think are filled yet. I don't see the point in just trying to, I don't know, I'm not trying to become like a media mogul. I really just want to create safe spaces. And a safe space I realized was missing on the Internet was exercise that isn't around weight loss. And exercise is so imperative and has, you know, walking every day or gentle exercise has completely changed my mental health. And they say something like 150 minutes of exercise, exercise a week has similar impacts to an ssri. And so you think about how many people can't afford or can't access mental health care at the moment. It's like, well, I have a way that you can at least start on that journey of regulating your hormones and your mental health hormones like dopamine, endorphins, etc, but people don't do it because we accept we, we associate it with weight loss and we associate it with fitness and with the exterior, which is the least important thing that it has anything to do with it's least interesting or important thing. You know, you only have to move your body for 15 minutes and 9 seconds before you start to get the mental health benefits of it and the endorphin release. And so people think it's this big ordeal and you have to drive half an hour to the gym and then go to the gym for at least an hour and then you have to drive back and you have to have a shower and you have to wear a matching outfit and you have to look cute and you have to be ready to be on camera. And this whole culture and it's bastardized exercise and turned it into this very performative thing that actually is just a pivotal part of your life. And we are on phones and everything's delivered to us. We don't go to the post office anymore, we don't go to the supermarket. We don't do so many of the things we used to do. We get in our cars and we, you know, we don't move. A lot of us live in cities where you can't really move. I lived in LA and I don't think I went for a fucking walk for a decade. And so I wanted to create a safe space with really great, accessible trainers. Who look like you, where you can exercise without being given toxic information about, hey, girls, let's get our beach body ready. And all this bullshit that we're told. It's just about the joy of movement, the privilege of being able to move your body.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah. I love that you're doing that because I, I relate to it so much. I definitely feel like I. I go through waves of it. But what you said is so true. And I feel like when you, when you start working out because you want the beach body, because you want whatever this thing that society is telling us, it's actually not like, I'll try it for like a week and a half and then I end up giving up because I'm like, nah. Like, it's not my intention behind. It isn't a pure one. And I think when you go into movement and working out with the intention of this is actually like for my mental health. And I'm doing it for an internal outcome, not a physical, outward outcome. It's a lot more sustainable. And honestly, like, go ahead.

[Jamila Jamil]

Yeah, but. Well, I'm sorry, I was just going to say that's also. It's. We need motivation. We are motivational creatures.

[Unknown Host]

We.

[Jamila Jamil]

We like instant rewards. Especially now. We want that instant gratification. So if you're waiting for those abs or that ass or losing £100, like, it's. It's very, very difficult to stay motivated because those changes happen very, very slowly. Yeah, but. But when it's. I'm going to feel better than I did half an hour ago or I'm going to sleep better tonight. Those are instant results.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

And that is, I think, very easy for us to get on board with, comparatively.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah. I just worked out for the first time in quite some time the other day because I mentally was like, I need to go and, like, go to the gym and, like, walk on the treadmill and just stretch and move my body. And I came home and I was like, frick. Like, I. This was actually really good. And I know that I need to do this for my mental health, know.

[Jamila Jamil]

That it will you just say frick.

[Unknown Host]

I did. I say frick. My husband and I are. We're frickers.

[Jamila Jamil]

Oh, my God, that's so funny.

[Unknown Host]

I know.

[Jamila Jamil]

That's so sweet. So pure.

[Unknown Host]

We say frick. I know.

[Jamila Jamil]

It's the purest thing I've ever heard.

[Unknown Host]

I know. He. He does not cuss, like, really at all. And I didn't have a potty mouth, but I did cuss a little.

[Unknown Advertiser]

And he would be like, babe, like, careful, like, watch your mouth.

[Unknown Host]

I'm like, so sorry. So now I say frick. That is.

[Jamila Jamil]

Oh, my God. That is absolutely adorable. Sorry. I beg your pardon. You.

[Unknown Host]

I love when people clock it, though, because it is funny. Like, when you ever hear someone go frick? Like, I haven't heard an adult say.

[Jamila Jamil]

Frick in my entire life.

[Unknown Host]

It's so good. Yep. That. That would be.

[Jamila Jamil]

We say great was my first word. Sorry I just said on your podcast. But, like, that was the first word and I said it to all the other children at the nursery and, like, you know, there were numerous complaints. So I think your children are going to get into way less trouble than I did. And more power to you for that.

[Unknown Host]

It's so good. It's so good. We.

[Jamila Jamil]

I also, like, please make the film meet the frickers, please.

[Unknown Host]

That's funny. That's funny. They definitely should do that. No, but that. I was just saying that it's. I know that I have to do that for my mental health, and it is easier to attack it that way when it is for your mental health. But also, my husband is very much like, okay, hon, let's go outside. Let's go walk the dogs.

[Unknown Advertiser]

I'm like, oh, no, I gotta, like, do these emails.

[Unknown Host]

He's like, bro, you need to, like, remove yourself from a screen and we need to see the Sunshine for like, 20 minutes. You need to walk. So he's.

[Jamila Jamil]

He.

[Unknown Host]

He. Honestly, I would be nothing without him. Clearly from this interview.

[Jamila Jamil]

He's the sunshine.

[Unknown Host]

He is just the sunshine. He is. He's the freaking little sunshine. He is.

[Jamila Jamil]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host]

I'm curious how. What would you say to someone that maybe is struggling with loving their body, loving themselves, and, you know, starting to. Is wanting to start moving for their mental health?

[Jamila Jamil]

Well, I mean, first of all, just. Just try and get to 15 minutes, 9 seconds a day. And I dare you to tell me you don't feel better. So just. That's it. Set your timer. 15 minutes, 9 seconds. Dance around your kitchen, run around with your dog. It does not have to be intense. You don't have to go out in public, do a little YouTube dance class, go as slow as you like, be as bad as you are, look as terrible as you can look. Free yourself. Don't make this about calories. I find eating ice cream just before I exercise makes my workout better and happier. And I squat deeper and harder, so it actually benefits my exercise to eat fun snacks throughout. And so I'll take like gummy worms or something with me. And I'm like, before I do a set, I take some gummy worms. I'm not into this calories in, calories out nonsense. I'm all about motivation. And so I. I suggest you do that. And I also suggest that you give yourself the same advice that you would give to any friend, which is, would I ever tell my friend she's not attractive enough to go to the gym? Would I ever tell my friend she doesn't. She isn't good enough for this? Because good enough for that, good enough for that person, she doesn't deserve to find love. She doesn't deserve to love and protect her own body. No, I would never say that. I would never say, oh, you're not a professional dancer, so you can't go to that dance class. Oh, you don't have a six pack, so you can't go to that gym. Then we apply completely different rules to other people than we do to ourselves. And it's just so important that people realize it's a scam that's all about taking women's money. It's not real. And, you know, there was this great article, I think, in Time magazine recently. I think it was Time magazine that said that, you know, now that the beauty standard, you know, is so accessible, super skinny is so accessible because of the weight loss injections. What made it an elite beauty standard was the fact that very few people could achieve it. Now that everyone has access to it, it's probably not going to be a beauty standard for much longer. And that's really important to think about because it's always about elitism and classism and all kinds of different things that it's wrapped up in. And I think we should just be very wary of the trends and never rush to meet any of them. I'm 40 almost, and I've. I've been around the block a lot, and I've watched this happen so many times, and Finn comes in and out and in and out, and I just can't be bothered to participate anymore.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah, it's so true. Okay, let's talk about your new podcast, Wrong Turns. Where. Where did this idea come from? Because you. You had a podcast before, right?

[Jamila Jamil]

I've had multiple podcasts. I had one called I Weigh, that was for five years. And then I did a comedy podcast called Bad Dates, which was really fun, but I left due to scheduling, and I had always wanted to make this podcast, which is called Wrong Turns, which is a disaster comedy podcast about the most embarrassing things that happen to us that have no great silver lining, no great lesson. Learned, you know, it kind of goes back to what I'm saying about toxic positivity. You know, I think we're expected to find the good in everything. And sometimes like life gives you lemons and it's just lemons and you don't make lemonade. And I think it gives. Sets people up to feel like they failed again. When you get handed a. Just a plate of chaos and you don't turn it into something incredible, it's like not everyone's disasters of when they shit their pants or whatever leads to them becoming some sort of biohacking ice bath having CEO billionaire. Yeah, sometimes life is just humiliating. And I think I just wanted a break from all the inspiration that's being shoved down my throat and make this kind of like an anti inspiration pro commiseration podcast because we're in dark times and I kind of. I think I just needed a break. One of, you know, one of my best friends died last year. I was in so much grief. The world was in such a mess politically and geopolitically, and I. I just couldn't have any more serious conversations in every facet of my life because my work is so serious and so about humanitarian work. And I wanted my podcast. I just wanted something that was an outlet for escapism just for 30 minutes a week. And so we got together a bunch of the funniest people in the world and we got them to tell us their stories. And it's just been such a bonding, fun experience that I think there's just something very democratic and universal about humiliation. It will find you no matter who you are or what you look like or what you're doing. And so I think that's why people respond to this theme. And it's just a joy.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah, I love that. It's so true.

[Jamila Jamil]

It's called Wrong Turns and it's. It's just about, you know, it's about just owning the clusterfuck.

[Unknown Host]

Yep.

[Jamila Jamil]

Owning the Cluster Frick.

[Unknown Host]

Cluster Frick. The Cluster Fricks.

[Jamila Jamil]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host]

I feel like this is going to carry with you for the rest of the day and you're going to.

[Jamila Jamil]

I'm never going to forget it.

[Unknown Host]

I love that. I'm honored. I'm honored.

[Jamila Jamil]

Me and my husband are. Frickers is my favorite thing I've heard. It gives me hope in humanity again.

[Unknown Host]

It's good. I'm glad that brings you so much joy.

[Jamila Jamil]

It does, it really does. I really like it.

[Unknown Host]

Okay, so you say that.

[Jamila Jamil]

Well, that was a big thing on the Good Place, right? Was finding Artful ways to curse.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

So I'm a big fan. Like, you know, soak my deck.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

Mother forking shirt balls. So it's very in my DNA.

[Unknown Host]

That's how I know when Taylor's, like, upset is he'll start cussing. And I'm like, oh, he means business right now. Like, he's. Yeah, he's really upset. That's how. That's how I know.

[Jamila Jamil]

Whereas if I start cussing, my boyfriend goes, oh, she's just alive.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah, her heart's beating. She's breathing. Just another Tuesday. Okay, so you say that guest on the podcast, your stories where they've learned nothing. Why was it important for you to create a space that celebrates imperfection and doesn't tie everything up into this pretty nice bow?

[Jamila Jamil]

Because life is ugly and people are ugly and we're messy, and we've got to stop with this fascistic perfection perversion that we have. I really can't bear it. And everything I stand for, everything I make is about people that make mistakes. My substack newsletter that I write is called A Low Desire to Please, based on my dog getting a. A bad review from his dog trainer. Said, he's very intelligent, but he has a low desire to please. And I was like, that is my boy. He got that from me. He is my DNA. And so I wrote a subs. I write a substack every. Every week that is just all of my unpopular thoughts and opinions. And for some reason, it's very popular. And I think that tells me that we are all having ugly thoughts and feelings.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

And we all have vengeance and sin.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

And. And inappropriate conduct within us. And I want to set that free. I'm sick of this, like, thing especially. Women are not expected to be vulgar or funny or imperfect. And so I've always been very obsessed with liberating women, whether it's not looking perfect or not behaving perfectly. And I think, you know, I'm a problematic person who's made loads of mistakes. But the thing that I think I am actually a role model for, the thing I would being a role model for, is being a woman who's willing to make mistakes, who can freak up and come back from it and carry on. Who doesn't excuse myself from society because I've de. I've. I've finally been unveiled as imperfect because I have pores or wrinkles or because I've said something inoffensive or because I just didn't know what I didn't know. You know, we can't we don't know how to separate ignorance from evil. And that is in and of itself a very ignorant thing to do when it comes to humankind. And so I just, I'm determined to show women that there's life after death, the death of your reputation. And when people don't find you perfect, that's fine because that's often where you find the most interesting people who do actually, like, they really do ride with you and they enjoy your content. And so, you know, I might not have 100 million followers on the Internet, but I've got 3.7 million people who know exactly who I am, who accept that, and they stand with me and they're willing to go on the journey with me. And I think that that's so beautiful. And I would rather have that 3.7 million, which is already, like, I understand, a ludicrously high number, but I'd rather have 3.7 million people that actually like me and appreciate who I actually am in all of my mess and my glory than 100 million followers who like an avatar of me that is a prison of perfection. I cannot imagine. All the unproblematic faves in real life are also unproblematic, are also problematic.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

And they live in this, like, terror that anyone's going to find out who they really are.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

And I would hate to live like that.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

That's why they're so, I think, sometimes scared of being stopped in public.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

It's because someone might have overheard a bit of their real personality and their real conversation and someone, like, confronts them in the world. I don't feel self conscious when I'm out because I just am who I am.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah. That's so good. I'm curious, can you give our lemon drops? Those are our listeners. Can you give us a wrong turn story of your own?

[Jamila Jamil]

Oh, sure.

[Unknown Host]

You're like, I got loads of them. Which one?

[Jamila Jamil]

Yeah. Everyone tries to bury their mistakes. I write mine down. So it was during COVID when everything was virtual and all my kind of panels I was doing around activism and stuff would all be done on Zoom.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

And that was fine. And they asked me if I would do this one live on like, YouTube live to millions and millions of people. And I was like, yeah, sure. Doesn't matter. Like, I'm whatever. And so I'm, you know, I'm only dressed really from like the waist up. Like everyone else. I'm wearing underpants, but nothing special. And I'm very casual about the whole thing. And I have a tendency to Never read emails or read my schedule properly. So I never know what I'm turning up for, for. But I always know that I'll figure it out, right? I just, like, I, I, I think I get off on the edge of, you know, total disaster. I like knowing that I, you know, I'm, I'm in danger in some way. And so I, I'm also just callous and lazy. So I, I don't really check the email. I press the link. We start this live. Seven people there, and no one's speaking. And I'm like, why is no one speaking? This is so weird. Where is the host? And then everyone's still kind of smiling each other, but you can't tell who anyone's smiling at on zoom. It just all looks like you're smiling at each other. They're all smiling. And I'm sitting there and like, a minute goes by of no one speaking, and I'm like, that is a very, very long time of dead air. And then suddenly it occurs to me, wait, am I the host? And so I suddenly fake a technical difficulty and I start, like, miming at the, like, mouthing at the camera and pretending that, like, I can't hear you, I can't hear you, but not making any sound. And I just, I just go, like, I'll be back, you know, and, and so I shut my laptop, by the way, I close my laptop. I don't just, like, leave the zoom. So you see the camera go all the way down my body that's only half dressed. And then I leave. And then I quickly check my email and it goes, you are hosting this panel. And I don't know anything about any of the people who I'm supposed to be interviewing in depth or what their names are or anything. I was supposed to have done loads of research, and I just hadn't. So I cut, I panic, and, like, it's now been two minutes of dead air. I come back on being like, hi, sorry, I had a technical glitch. Why don't we go around the room and introduce ourselves? And I have to bullshit my way through this interview for an entire hour in front of millions of people, just pulling it out my ass. And it was the One of the most like, More like it was, I did a bad job. I was mortified, and it felt so disrespectful to the people who were on the panel. And it happened in front of millions of people, and I was not brought back by that company. And I do now read my emails.

[Unknown Host]

I was just gonna Say, do you read them now?

[Jamila Jamil]

I've definitely. I've been traumatized into learning to do that, but still not enough.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

Like, I'm sitting on the floor right now because I didn't read the email from you saying, make sure you have a full battery. And so now I'm doing this entire interview on the floor amongst my luggage. My knees are killing me. Like, everything is just a wrong. Like, my whole life is just a tapestry of wrong turns. And I. I don't want to hide it.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

I want to own it. I want to live my truth with the public. And so that's why I made my podcast.

[Unknown Host]

And honestly, it makes it more fun. If life goes perfect, there's. There's no fun in it. Like, you can't look back and laugh at things.

[Jamila Jamil]

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Every. Like, I. I believe disaster comes just before a blessing.

[Unknown Host]

Yep.

[Jamila Jamil]

Yep. So I'm waiting. Any day now.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah, just any day. Want to come down.

[Jamila Jamil]

I just walk around with my hands open at the sky, just waiting for my blessing. It never comes.

[Unknown Host]

Okay, last question before we do our little rapid fire segment to end. But I'm curious, what are you most proud of yourself for? Because I feel like you have accomplished so much, but is there something that really sticks out to you?

[Jamila Jamil]

I think similarly to what I said earlier, it's like, just refusing to go away even when people really want me to. I love that about me. I love that for me, I just carry on. I'm like a straight white man, you know, I just make mistakes, and then I go, oh, oh, no. Well, that's new information. I'm going to keep going and try and do better. And I think that straight white men have that right. I think they're absolutely right to do that. And that's what I want to do. And I don't believe women should just extract themselves from society every time they make a mistake. And I like the fact that I run at failure. I like the fact that I'm not afraid of embarrassing myself. And I think that it's weird. You know, I wrote an essay about this recently that I think it's weird that we look at the people who try and put themselves out there as egomaniacs. I look at the people who don't put themselves out there because they're so precious about criticism that they don't want to try. Those are egomaniacs to me.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

I think the rest of us are just adventurers who are willing to, you know, recognize that life is not a test.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

It's an adventure. It's a story. And so how are you going to write your story? I don't want to treat my life as though I'm here to get graded or judged, you know, which was the exact premise of the Good Place. And it really, like, messed up my head when I was making it and I was imagining the point system in real time all the time. But I've released myself of that, and I'm glad that I can be that role model, even to myself, to prove that the world does not stop turning when things go sideways.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah, I love that. We recently had a guest on, and she. I asked her the same question and she said that she became like the person that she needed when she was younger. And I, I really feel that for you, too.

[Jamila Jamil]

Well, you know what? I've actually stopped even trying to be that now. I have flipped it. And now I want to be the person that my old lady self goes, you really did that. You really lived that life for me.

[Unknown Host]

Oh, that's good.

[Jamila Jamil]

And it's changed my entire existence. You know, women are not taught to protect our older lady bodies and our older lady selves because society doesn't tells us that they don't need us after. We're not fertile and. Yeah, you know, shaggable. And the funny thing is, is that we're one of the only mammals that go through the menopause and aren't fertile up until death. And that's because we're so needed. We've evolved to go through the menopause so that we can stop bearing children and, and create society and keep society running. Women are imperative and they're wise and they are. They know what they like, they know what they don't like. They know who they are. They understand the, the scams of society. They understand patriarchy. They understand matriarchy and the maternal gift and, you know, the feminine divine. And that's why they're so scary. And that's why people try to silence them and erase every sign of them. That's why they used to burn them at the stake. You know, it's, it's, it's really terrifying. And so I, you know, I feel sad that young people are being taught to dread aging and are so obsessed with it. Dread turning 30, dread turning 40, dread turning 50. I cannot wait to get past the menopause and go into my crone era. I keep trying to launch it prematurely because I think older women are amazing and I want my old lady self to know that I was prepared for her and I wasn't embarrassed of her, and I wasn't dreading her. I want her to know that I built a body and a life for her, you know, because my young self messed up my current self's life.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

You know, I'm still. I've still got health problems now that she did. She did that. She was enemy number one.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

So I want my old lady self to not look back on me in the same way and be like, why do you do that to me? Why did you hurt me? I don't want that. So, you know, I think men are taught to build their lives, and women are taught to just panic and do whatever they have to do right now. And I think that's very dark and very sad and we deserve better. So I'm. I'm just not gonna live that way.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah, I love that. Okay, let's do this last little segment. Get you off the floor.

[Jamila Jamil]

Okay. I've lost all feeling in one of my feet.

[Unknown Host]

It's gone. It's. God. Okay, so this little segment's called Lemon7. It's just seven questions. You can rapid fire them. You can go into a monologue, if you please. Okay, first question is, what movie or song title best describes your mental health today?

[Jamila Jamil]

Oh, Bohemian Rhapsody, which everyone will be too young. But it's. It's like nine songs in one. And that's how I feel at the moment. I feel like I'm losing my mind with stress and overwhelm. So whatever that song, the more chaotic that sound that song becomes, the more I feel like it's my daily soundtrack right now.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah, that's good. Number two is how open are you with people in your life when struggling?

[Jamila Jamil]

Oh, not open enough. I go completely silent. And that's how everyone knows I'm in trouble. Is that when I stop speaking, it's a problem? Actually, recently, I lost my voice. This is totally separate. But I think it's funny for several weeks because I had a really bad chest infection, and my boyfriend came up to me and said both the most offensive and the sweetest thing he's ever said. He was like, I thought I would like this, but I don't. Which means he loves me.

[Unknown Host]

He truly loves you talking to me.

[Jamila Jamil]

But also has been silently wishing I would shut up.

[Unknown Host]

Now he learned he does not want that.

[Jamila Jamil]

No. Now he's always trying to stop me from getting sick.

[Unknown Host]

He's like loading you up on vitamin C. Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

Truly, truly electrolyte.

[Unknown Host]

This is so good. Oh, that good. Okay, number three. If you could follow only three social media accounts, what would they be, oh.

[Jamila Jamil]

Three social media accounts. It would be the account dogs and then at Funny animals.

[Unknown Host]

And.

[Jamila Jamil]

What else, what else, what else, what else? What do I look at every day? Oh, yeah, the. The shade room. I like to be very pure and then very toxic.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah, I did. I watched your story today and I was like cracking up. You just like repost the funniest things on there.

[Jamila Jamil]

I repost the maddest things on there. Yeah. I just. It's really just like, gives you a sense of my algorithm and it's really just like dogs and gossip.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

And that's it. That's what I live for. I'm not. I'm not a profound human.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

I want to say something cool like Neil Degrasse, whatever his face is, but I don't. I just want gossip. I want celebrity gossip and I want dogs. That's it.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

You want the juice?

[Unknown Host]

Yeah. That's all a girl can ask for.

[Jamila Jamil]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host]

All a girl could ask for.

[Jamila Jamil]

Thank you.

[Unknown Host]

Number four is what is your favorite form of self care?

[Jamila Jamil]

My favorite form of self care is cuddling in bed with my dogs and my boyfriend. That to me is the ultimate self care. It's what keeps me looking and feeling young and happy, really. I find kind of active skin care, self care just to be more work and I can't be bothered and it's really expensive. But rest and joy with my dogs and my boyfriend is while we're all snacking is unbelievable to me. So that's my ultimate form of self care. And I carve out time in every day to do that. My boyfriend and I refer to it almost as though it's a ceremony, you know, it's an imperative part of our day and it's very bad if anything gets in the way of that.

[Unknown Host]

This is a side note, but how many dogs do you have? I'm a dog person. Two. Oh, my gosh.

[Jamila Jamil]

I'm obsessed with them and I haven't seen them in six weeks and I'm going out of my mind. Yesterday I was walking past a picture of a dog outside a vet and I blew it a kiss, like involuntarily. And I was like, I need to go home. I need to go back.

[Unknown Host]

I am so sorry. That's so long.

[Jamila Jamil]

Yeah, it's so long. And I'm being a real dog pervert now. I'm going to the dog park, but I'm like that guy that turns up at the kiddie park without a kid, you know, Like, I don't have a dog with me, so I'M starting to freak people out in Central Park.

[Unknown Host]

Oh, my gosh. You're just sitting there.

[Jamila Jamil]

Yeah.

[Unknown Host]

You're sitting there. Start crying.

[Jamila Jamil]

Yeah. So I'm a dog pervert now. And I just keep asking. I'm going up to people in the street and just asking if I could, like, oh, my gosh, pet their dog. I'm being really creepy. Oh, yeah, we need to. I really. I'm obsessed with them. I need to get home. I'm home in 10 days, and I truly cannot get there fast enough. And I'm only there for a week, and I already want to cry.

[Unknown Host]

Oh, my gosh. Okay. Well, I hope you just stay in bed the whole time with them. Okay. Number five is. What is the most misunderstood thing about you?

[Jamila Jamil]

Oh, that I give a shit what you think. I couldn't give a shit what you think. That's it. I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I couldn't give a shit what you think. Yeah.

[Unknown Host]

Respectfully. Respectfully?

[Jamila Jamil]

Yeah. Yeah. I'm so uninterested. I'm so uninterested in impressing truly, anyone other than my dogs. That's. It.

[Unknown Host]

That's.

[Jamila Jamil]

They think the world of me, and that's all that matters. I'm not interested in what you think about my hair or my face or my weight or how I choose to learn and choose to try to help people. I'm taking in the information that I think I need. But whether or not you like me or think I'm annoying, go away. No one cares. You know what? Now I don't like you. So we're even.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

It's not relevant to me whether or not you find me palatable. If you think something I'm doing is dangerous, let me know. But if you just don't like how I am, that's not my problem. That's your problem. That's a taste thing.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Number six is who has had the most positive impact on your mental health?

[Jamila Jamil]

The person who's had the most positive impact on my mental health is my boyfriend of 11 years. He has taught me how to prioritize being calm, being well. He's, you know, reinstated the value of life to me, and he's made me want to live when I didn't. And he's just built this world around me that is so safe and fun and comforting, and he's just my best friend in the whole world. And so he's. Yeah, he's my safe space. And. And he's the person who's probably most Just fixed my brain.

[Unknown Host]

I love that. It's so special. Okay, last question. If you can go back to one moment in your life, what moment would that be? And what would you say to yourself?

[Jamila Jamil]

Oh, when my school teacher tried to weigh me. Well, no. Weighed me in front of my entire class. What? And that, that's what she, she was, she was a substitute teacher and she was trying to teach the maths class about how to gain data to build a pie chart. And so she was like, this is a way to gather data. And she weighed all of us. And I was the heaviest and the tallest in the class. And that's the day that kicked off my 20 year eating disorder. I would go back to that day and I would pick up the scale and beat her over the head with it instead of standing on it. Because I would just go to juvenile detention and then it wouldn't go on my long term record. So that's what I would do. I would smash her over the head with the scale and then run out of the school. And that would have saved my life.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah. Oh my gosh.

[Jamila Jamil]

So that's what I would do differently. It's very violent, it's vengeful, but I'm an ugly person.

[Unknown Host]

I've said that it's for the best, honestly, that that would have been a better outcome.

[Jamila Jamil]

I think a little bit of juvenile detention is good for all of us.

[Unknown Host]

A little juvie could have been. It could have been some help.

[Jamila Jamil]

I would have been a better person.

[Unknown Host]

Oh, my gosh. Well, this has been so fun. I've loved getting to learn more about you and I just love your outlook on life. And you, I just, you just don't take things too serious. And it's so refreshing how authentic you are to yourself. And you're just like, I am who I am, don't care.

[Jamila Jamil]

Yeah. As I said, life is not a test. I'm not here to pass anything. I'm just here to do my best and that's it. I'm working at my own scale, at my own level. I'm not in anyone else's lane. I'm just doing my own thing. There are 9 billion people all in their own separate lanes. We are not competing with each other. We do not have a monolithic standard. We're just here to build experiences so that when we're old and everyone leaves us by the window, we have fun memories to look back on.

[Unknown Host]

Yeah.

[Jamila Jamil]

So that's the plan. It's so nice to meet you.

[Unknown Advertiser]

You too.

[Unknown Host]

Thank you so much.

[Jamila Jamil]

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.