Jay Shetty: The Path to Purpose

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Squeeze – Episode Featuring Jay Shetty: The Path to Purpose

Introduction In this compelling episode of The Squeeze, hosts Taylor Lautner and her husband delve deep into the journey of Jay Shetty, a renowned motivational speaker and former monk. Released on February 12, 2025, the episode titled “Jay Shetty: The Path to Purpose” offers listeners an intimate look into Shetty’s transformation from a corporate intern to a spiritual guide and influencer in the wellness space.

Jay Shetty’s Early Exposure to Wisdom Jay Shetty credits his father for sparking his initial interest in wellness during his teenage years. “My dad subtly tried to get me to read meaningful books,” Jay shares (07:36). Although initially uninterested, Shetty found himself engrossed in biographies of figures like Martin Luther King Jr., Malcolm X, David Beckham, and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. These readings highlighted the discipline and resilience that propelled these individuals to success, planting the seeds for his future pursuits.

Meeting the Monk and Decision to Pursue Monastic Life At around 18 or 19 years old, Shetty’s encounter with a monk named Gaurangadas profoundly influenced his life trajectory. “I remember that monk just felt content,” Jay reminisces (13:15). Inspired by the monk’s happiness and discipline, despite his impressive academic background from the Indian Institute of Technology, Shetty decided to explore monastic life. This decision was not premeditated but arose from a deep, spiritual connection he felt with Gaurangadas.

Life as a Monk Shetty describes his time as a monk as a period of intense self-discovery and discipline. “The monk’s natural aura was confidence, happiness, security,” he notes (14:17). Living in a monastery taught him the value of mindfulness, meditation, and community living. However, despite the spiritual fulfillment, Shetty began to feel that this path wasn’t aligning with his personal aspirations.

Decision to Leave the Monastic Life After three years, Shetty faced a pivotal decision to leave monastic life. “I knew it was the right path for me, but I hated that it was going to hurt someone else,” he confides (25:07). The transition felt akin to a personal divorce, filled with emotions of shame, guilt, and embarrassment. This period was marked by depression and a struggle to reintegrate into society, highlighting the internal conflict between personal fulfillment and societal expectations.

Transitioning Back to Society and Work Returning to London, Shetty grappled with reverting to old habits and adapting to a corporate environment. “The first month was like this complete... withdrawal,” he admits (33:52). Despite the initial setbacks, including rejection from numerous companies, he eventually secured a position at Accenture. Integrating his monastic practices into his corporate role, Shetty began teaching meditation to colleagues, slowly rekindling his passion for wellness and sharing his knowledge.

Rediscovering Purpose and Sharing Wisdom Driven by a desire to share his journey, Shetty started creating video content focused on personal growth and mindfulness. “I put out my first video, and it got like a hundred views. I was over the moon” (47:12). The pivotal moment came when Ariana Huffington noticed his work, leading to widespread recognition and millions of views. This surge allowed Shetty to transition fully into the wellness space, leveraging his platform to inspire and educate a global audience.

Growth of Jay Shetty’s Online Presence Shetty’s online presence skyrocketed as his videos resonated with millions. “Four videos did like 250 million views,” he reflects (48:52). This exponential growth not only solidified his place in the wellness community but also opened doors to various opportunities, including speaking engagements and collaborations with other influencers.

Insights on Mindfulness and Being Present A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to Shetty’s insights on mindfulness. “Mindfulness to me means being able to be present with what you want, when you want, and how you want” (55:23). He emphasizes the importance of intentional presence in daily life and shares practical techniques like the 5-4-3-2-1 method to enhance mindfulness. Shetty highlights that mindfulness is not just a practice but a way of life that fosters deeper connections and personal growth.

Addressing Imposter Syndrome with Co-hosts The conversation shifts towards imposter syndrome, especially pertinent to those in the mental health and wellness space. Shetty offers compassionate advice on combating feelings of inadequacy. “That thought makes you the perfect person to do the show,” he reassures (67:08). Drawing parallels with humility, Shetty underscores the balance between maintaining high standards and practicing self-compassion, citing examples like Roger Federer’s perspective on failure and success.

Plans for Podcast Tour Towards the end of the episode, Shetty shares exciting news about taking The Squeeze on a tour. “I’m excited to take the show on the road and have these kind of conversations in person,” he expresses (74:13). The tour aims to foster deeper community connections, allowing listeners to engage with the podcast in a more personal and interactive setting. Shetty envisions the tour as an extension of the podcast’s mission to provide comfort and a sense of belonging to its audience.

Conclusion This episode of The Squeeze offers a heartfelt exploration of Jay Shetty’s path to finding purpose and his dedication to mental wellness. Through candid discussions, practical mindfulness techniques, and inspiring personal anecdotes, Shetty provides valuable insights for anyone seeking to navigate their own journey towards mental health and personal fulfillment. The episode culminates with an invitation to join Shetty on his upcoming tour, promising an unforgettable experience for listeners.

Notable Quotes:

• “My dad subtly tried to get me to read meaningful books.” – Jay Shetty [07:36]
• “I knew it was the right path for me, but I hated that it was going to hurt someone else.” – Jay Shetty [25:07]
• “Mindfulness to me means being able to be present with what you want, when you want, and how you want.” – Jay Shetty [55:23]
• “The first five things you can see, the four things you can touch...” – Jay Shetty [59:37]

Key Takeaways:

• Self-Discovery: Jay Shetty’s journey underscores the importance of exploring one’s true calling, even if it means diverging from societal expectations.
• Mindfulness Practices: Implementing simple mindfulness techniques can significantly enhance one’s ability to stay present and connected.
• Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: Balancing high standards with self-compassion fosters personal growth and resilience.
• Community Engagement: Building and engaging with a supportive community is crucial for sustained mental wellness and personal fulfillment.

This episode is a testament to the transformative power of self-awareness, discipline, and the courage to pursue one’s authentic path.

Transcript

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[Co-host 1]

Is something that I maybe want your advice on, but I feel myself sometimes holding myself to like a really high standard. Standard of making sure, practicing mindfulness, making.

[Co-host 2]

Sure I'm going to therapy.

[Co-host 1]

I kind of get discouraged because I hold myself to such a high standard. How to like combat those thoughts of I feel like I'm not doing enough. Like to actually be sitting here doing this.

[Co-host 3]

Yeah. Not like feeling worthy to be preaching the stuff that we talk about. Am I worthy of, you know, being having a mental health podcast?

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Co-host 3]

We don't always do things the right way.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

That makes you the perfect person. That feeling makes you the perfect people to do the show. The other two choices are you think you're so perfect or the other option is you think you're so unqualified that you never do anything. When I was with the monks, humility was seen as the most aspirational quality that a human could ever aspire for. I love that your lemon drops have you to listen to like that's what makes you both perfect hosts, because you're not coming at this from a point of view of we know and you don't. You're coming at it from a point of view of, hey, we're struggling with this, and we're figuring it out, and I'm trying to share it.

[Co-host 2]

When life gives you lemons, what do.

[Co-host 1]

You do with them?

[Co-host 3]

Over here at the Squeeze, we talk about it. All right, Jay, welcome to the Squeeze.

[Jay Shetty]

Thank you for having me. I'm so, so grateful to be here.

[Co-host 3]

Oh, my gosh.

[Jay Shetty]

We.

[Co-host 3]

I.

[Jay Shetty]

We.

[Co-host 3]

I mean, this has been a dream of ours for a while, ever since we started the podcast, to be honest with you. So, yeah, the fact that it's come together is just like, just such an insane honor.

[Jay Shetty]

Well, that is very humbling. I'm so grateful, and congrats on everything. It's awesome to see what you both are building and doing together and even the few moments we've just spent together now. I'm so happy to be here.

[Co-host 3]

So, I mean, honestly, you just. When we started this, you were. And you continue to be the goal. Like, you know, what you do is a large reason why we wanted to start doing this. So.

[Jay Shetty]

Wow.

[Co-host 3]

You know, as. As people in the mental health space, like, we all strive to be more and more like you. So thank you for being that for. For us.

[Jay Shetty]

Well, that means the world to me. Honestly, I don't even know how to respond to that. So speechless. That is so generous and so kind, and I'm so thankful to hear that. And I'm here to help you and support you and serve you in any way I can. So thank you so much. Thank you.

[Co-host 1]

So fun. Okay, so we start each episode off.

[Co-host 2]

With a game called Citrus Got Real.

[Co-host 1]

This jar has some questions in it.

[Co-host 2]

If you would like to pull.

[Jay Shetty]

I love it.

[Co-host 1]

One of those little pie of paper out.

[Jay Shetty]

That's so cool. All right, well, I'm already learning from you guys. This is amazing.

[Co-host 3]

These are viewer listener questions.

[Jay Shetty]

Okay, great.

[Co-host 3]

They're all very random, so we don't really know what we're going to get.

[Jay Shetty]

Shall I read it?

[Co-host 3]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

Okay. What's the weirdest item you keep by your bed?

[Co-host 3]

Weirdest item you keep by your bed.

[Jay Shetty]

Shall I go first?

[Co-host 3]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Jay Shetty]

I don't know if I keep anything weird next to my bed. Like, I'd say I'm. I have a hatch. Do you. Do you know what a hatch is?

[Co-host 1]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

Those are things I think babies use, so maybe it's a bit weird, but it's it wakes you up with, like, this light and it's got beautiful sounds and tones, and I've had that for a while. I generally wake up before it wakes me up, but it ends up being there. I have a copy of the Bhagavad Gita, which is the text from India.

[Co-host 3]

Okay.

[Jay Shetty]

That I studied. And so that's not weird that that feels fairly normal. And that's it. Really. My bedside table is really boring. That's. That's it.

[Co-host 1]

Oh, that's. That sounds really nice and clean.

[Co-host 3]

I feel like. I feel like I might like this hatch.

[Co-host 1]

I. Yeah. I wasn't going to call you out, but I actually think you could really benefit from that.

[Co-host 3]

Can it be like a. Like a noise machine, too? Because I need a noise machine.

[Jay Shetty]

I need a great question. I don't know if it has that functionality. I have no idea. I'd have to find out. But it does have really good sounds to wake you up with. Like, far better than any alarm tone or whatever it may be. Especially if you don't want to sleep with your phone next to your bed. Yeah, it's brilliant.

[Co-host 3]

Okay.

[Co-host 2]

Okay.

[Co-host 1]

What's.

[Co-host 2]

What's in your nightstand?

[Co-host 3]

I'm trying to. I'm trying to think.

[Co-host 1]

You have a lot of, like, cough drops from when we were sick, like, a month ago that are still just sitting there.

[Co-host 3]

Yeah, that's true. Honestly, my nightstand needs a clean out.

[Co-host 1]

Oh, you know what's in yours?

[Co-host 2]

Ow.

[Co-host 1]

Sorry. You know the little, like, head scratcher thing that's like this.

[Co-host 3]

Yeah.

[Co-host 1]

I feel like that's really random.

[Jay Shetty]

Oh, I want one of those. The massage thing? Yes. Oh, I've been wanting one of those. Are they good?

[Co-host 3]

They are, but only when somebody else does it to you.

[Jay Shetty]

Right.

[Co-host 3]

You grab it and you do it to yourself. It's just like you don't feel anything.

[Co-host 1]

But if not really relaxing, if somebody.

[Co-host 3]

Else does it, it feels heavenly.

[Jay Shetty]

Right.

[Co-host 1]

I guess. On that same note, what's in my nightstand is the little eye. The eye massager thing, the one that moves. And he love all these fun little, like, tech gadgets.

[Jay Shetty]

I want to try both of those out.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah, it, like, massages your eyes and.

[Co-host 3]

It, like, heats up and it's just like a gentle eye massage.

[Jay Shetty]

That sounds incredible.

[Co-host 3]

It is nice.

[Co-host 1]

Now I'm. Now that I've, like, thought through everything that's in our night. We have, like, large nightstands. I actually feel like we should probably clean those out.

[Co-host 3]

Yeah. Mine's like a storage unit now that.

[Co-host 1]

I've, like, actually sat.

[Jay Shetty]

Mine's like A little stool that just has these two things on it. And that's it.

[Co-host 3]

That's what I need.

[Jay Shetty]

I should have picked another question.

[Co-host 1]

No, that's good. I love that. Okay, let's dive in, because as Taylor said, we truly are just, like, so honored to have you and have been a dream guest of ours for so long, because you're just, like, one of the best, I feel like, to do it in every, like, walk of space that you do. Like, you know, from speaking, just being.

[Co-host 2]

In the wellness field.

[Co-host 1]

Your podcast, which you're going on tour.

[Co-host 2]

With and we'll talk about later.

[Co-host 1]

But what I really want to know and I would love to dive into is truly just like the origin story of the Jay Shetty that is sitting here with us today. And what, for you initially sparked your love and interest in wellness?

[Jay Shetty]

That's a great question. I'd have to say it was my dad who was subtly trying in my teens to get me to read meaningful books.

[Co-host 2]

Oh, wow.

[Jay Shetty]

And he was trying so hard to get me to read philosophy or theology or whatever it may have been that he was interested in. And I wasn't interested in any of it.

[Co-host 3]

Right.

[Jay Shetty]

Because I was a teenager. Like, who at 14, 15 years old is thinking about wellness. You feel amazing. You feel indestructible.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And then I remember that somehow, through his recommendations, I ended up finding the writings of Martin Luther King, biographies of Malcolm X, and then I was also reading the biographies of David Beckham and Dwayne the Rock Johnson at the same time. This is when he was in the WWE and I was a big wrestling fan. And it sounds ridiculous, but it wasn't. It was this deep dive into how someone lived. And I still remember this story in David Beckham's autobiography where he would spend his Friday nights every week practicing free kicks. And so he would go and put the ball down. He'd stand 25 yards away from the goal, and he'd try and put it in the top corner. And he said that all his friends were out drinking or partying or, you know, meeting women or whatever it was, but he was there practicing. And I think it was little things like that where I thought, oh, wow. Like, that's fascinating to hear that someone who's as successful as he is had so much discipline early on. Or I remember him saying that he couldn't drink before game day, and so he wasn't drinking alcohol like his friends were. He was drinking orange juice or whatever it was. And I think it was tiny little things like that. I remember the Rock Talking about in his book, about what he'd gone through in terms of depression and his relationship with his family. And I just couldn't, you know, now I think we have podcasts and we have all these conversations around people sharing their mental health stories or their morning routines or their evening routines. But at that time, it was so unique. And I would honestly say it was those real life stories of real people. And that's where I discovered that, you know, that age old wisdom or the quote that we've all heard, that there's no such thing as a strong person with an easy past. And I started to realize that all these strong, incredible, powerful people had extremely uncomfortable, difficult pasts.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And it was how they reacted to them, how they adapted to them that transformed their life. And I feel those seeds were planted around that time. So that's. Even though that wasn't directly wellness.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

There was a power to that idea that these people had sacrificed. They had discipline, they had worked towards their success, if that makes any sense.

[Co-host 3]

Yeah, for sure.

[Co-host 1]

Wow. That's such, like a fascinating, like, thing to grab onto.

[Co-host 3]

Yeah. Especially at that age, like to be able to look forward and be like, you know, that, you know, I should probably start. I should get, you know, hold myself now if I want to be like that, then, you know, what's so crazy is the fact that you were fans of those two individuals back then and they, you know, sparked that within you. And I'm assuming here, I'm pretty. I'm 99% sure on one. Have you had both of them on your podcast?

[Jay Shetty]

No, I haven't yet, but I got a. I got a voice note from the Rock like a couple of months back and it was super sweet to, you know, hear from him. We've actually never met or even been in the same room with either of them.

[Co-host 3]

Wow.

[Jay Shetty]

And I got a voice note that. That was like, let's figure it out. And so that was really sweet. It was a great moment. I've been a fan of him since I was like 15 years old. And to have that moment and same with David Beckham. I'm waiting for that one. Yeah, I'm still waiting for that one. But I'm very excited about it because. Yeah, I was studying their life so early and have so much respect for them beyond just their success, but actually the journey that it took to get there.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Co-host 3]

I feel like you and Duane would just be a match made in heaven. That would be cool.

[Jay Shetty]

Fingers crossed.

[Co-host 3]

Let's see.

[Co-host 1]

Okay. So then growing up, when did, when did the idea of becoming a monk start. Because I just think that is one of the coolest things. Just like. Because, you know, I don't know much about it, but it's just a fast. What I do know, I'm so fascinated by.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah, no. So I always think about that as. I would never have wanted to become a monk if I never met a monk and spent time with one.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

It just wasn't on the cards. Right. Like, you don't go, grow up and go, I want to be a monk one day. And so neither. Neither was I thinking that, like, I thought I was going to go and carry on and study business and go get a real job and work and get married and, you know, kind of tick all the boxes. And for me, what. What was so profound was when I met the monks in my teens, so early on, it just changed my trajectory. And so I met monks around 18, 19 years old. And one was speaking at my college, and I started spending time with him. And I look back at that moment as just being a moment where the best way to explain it is you meet someone that you look up to and you just want to be around them all the time. And I think people have felt that with actors, they've felt that with CEOs, they felt that with athletes. Like, you know, a kid who looks up to David Beckham and goes, I just want to learn from him and be around him. It was that kind of almost childlike enthusiasm.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And I think what resonated to me was because the monk that I met, who I'm still very good friends with today, his name's Gaurangadas, I was just with him in January at the monastery, at the same ashram I lived at. And he just felt content. And when I look back at that time, I think when I was that age, I'd met people who were beautiful, I'd met people who were strong, I'd met people who were rich, I'd met people who were famous. But I don't think I'd met anyone who was happy. And his natural aura was confidence, happiness, security. And I just thought to myself, I don't know anyone who has that. And it was one of those strange things where I don't even think it was logical. I think it was a feeling. It was an aura, an experience of being in someone's presence that was so comfortable with themselves. Even though they were wearing robes, he had a shaved head. There was nothing externally attractive about him in that I was drawn to him by anything material. It was purely a spiritual Force. Force that he has. That he still has till this day.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

That just penetrated my heart and just made me go, wow, this. This person has something that I think is worth pursuing. And then I found that he'd given up jobs that I would have probably chased.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

To do that, he went to iit, which is like the MIT of India. It's the Indian Institute of Technology, extremely reputable institution. The current CEO of Google went to that university. Like, that's the level of accolade that that brings. And he'd given up that future to become a monk. And so I thought, either this person is crazy or they're the smartest person in the world. And I went on to find out that he was extremely thoughtful and mindful, and I. I give him all the credit. I don't think I would have ever even dreamt of that life. I just got really lucky that my role models at that young age became monks. Wow. And that's a very random thing. Yeah. Because up until that point, my role models were athletes, CEOs, musicians, actors, whatever it may have been.

[Co-host 3]

So do you. How does. So do you say to him, I want to come with you, or I want to. I want to come, you know, practice what you. How does that initial decision come to be?

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah. So when he was in London, I basically just started going to every one of his events.

[Guest]

Okay.

[Jay Shetty]

So after I met him, I said, what else are you doing this week? I'd love to come and see you speak. And I'm sure you've had similar things like this when you both have done events.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

I'm sure you've had people come up to you and be like, what else have you got coming up this week? Or how do I follow you guys? Obviously now you just follow someone on social media and you know what they're doing at that time that didn't exist. So I went and asked him, and he said, well, I'm speaking at this home, I'm speaking at this temple, I'm speaking at this event. Just joined me. And so I found out his schedule. And then that week, I went to every event that he did. And every time I went and sat with him, I felt more connected, I felt more inspired. And then eventually I actually went and spent time with him in India. This is before I actually became a monk, but I would spend my vacations and my holidays visiting him. So I'd go there for a couple of months, I'd go there for a couple of weeks anytime I had a break from school, from university.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

I'D go and experience the lifestyle. And I think that's what really gave me a taste because I would be interning at these corporate companies. And so I'm in bars, steakhouses, wearing suits, going to this official job as an internship. And then the rest of the time on vacations, I'm living as a monk, sleeping on the floor, wearing robes, experimenting with that lifestyle. And I'd always come back happier having spent time there. I'd always come back having this really profound experience that I thought this is what I want to do with my life. And so I, I really. It's almost like a B testing that everyone's doing now with thumbnails and everything else. And you're like, wait a minute, what works for you? And I was just really lucky that during those times I was at college, I had time to kind of test and experiment.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And it became very obvious to me that the corporate life didn't inspire me in the same way as monk life did.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And. And it was truly as simple as that. It wasn't magical, it wasn't mystical. It was. I felt attracted to a way of life.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

Because I was experiencing how amazing it could be.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Co-host 2]

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[Co-host 1]

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[Co-host 2]

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[Co-host 1]

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[Co-host 2]

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[Co-host 1]

When you told your parents that you were gonna go and practice being a monk, what. What was their reaction?

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah, so I think they didn't believe it because I started to say it to them while I was at college.

[Co-host 1]

Okay.

[Jay Shetty]

Because I was going on these trips, I'd be like, guys, I'm gonna become a monk when I graduate. And they were like, whatever, like, that's not gonna happen. So I think they kind of thought I was just saying it to say it.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And it's almost like when you're telling your parents your dreams and they're like, yeah, yeah, you'll get a real job someday. Like, don't worry about it. And then when I actually told them in my final year of college and especially in the last six months, and I was like, guys, I'm definitely doing this when I graduate. Like, this is the plan. I think my mom was just extremely worried about my health. Like, my mom was like, what are you gonna eat and how are you gonna take care of yourself? And, you know, all the things that a mom would care about. Like, my mom's a mom. She just, she doesn't care about anything apart from me being healthy. And my dad was always slightly aloof with my upbringing. Like, he wasn't really the most present dad. He wasn't someone that I was really that close to in a way of listening to him. I've always said my dad's more like my friend than he is my dad. He wasn't someone I followed or listened to. He was someone that I shared things with but wasn't someone that had a say in my life. And I feel like I started to, like, follow my inner voice when I was around 14. So subjects I wanted to study at school, the kind of places I wanted to hang out, people that I wanted to be around. So when I was at that age, I was so independent that I don't even think my parents opinions mattered to me, but my extended family had very strong opinions. So my extended family, aunts and uncles, grandparents, were like, you're wasting your life.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

This is the worst decision you're ever going to make. You're letting your parents down.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

You know, your parents have worked so hard to make sure you had a great education. What now? And so there was this almost societal pressure that was there at the same time as my excitement was mirrored with this weight of, you're letting your parents down.

[Co-host 3]

Right.

[Jay Shetty]

Your parents are not wealthy. How are they going to take care of themselves? What. What are they going to do? You have a younger sister who's not going to have your support as an older brother. So there was this kind of conflicted feeling that I had of like, this is what I think I need to do with my life.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And at the same time, there are a lot of people that seem to be upset with me.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Co-host 3]

Did that ever cast doubt in you if that was the right decision?

[Jay Shetty]

I knew it was the right path for me.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

But I hated that the right path for me was going to hurt someone else.

[Co-host 2]

Right.

[Jay Shetty]

And I think this is a really interesting learning point for all of us, that sometimes the right path for you is going to upset people you love.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And sometimes the best decision for you is going to push people away. And sometimes the thing that you feel called to do, not everyone's going to agree with it.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And what you've got to do is follow your heart and try to bring those people along with you to the best of your ability. I think if you throw away the path that feels true to you or sacrifice in order to make people happy.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

I think you might fail.

[Co-host 3]

Right.

[Jay Shetty]

But I think you might be surprised that when you follow your heart and follow your path and try to bring people along with you, they might appreciate it.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And I think sometimes we get lost because we think, well, if you don't agree with me, then I don't want you in my life. And I don't think that's the case. I don't think that person's bitter because they don't like you or don't believe in you. They probably don't believe in themselves. They probably had a dream that they sacrificed. They probably had something that they were taken away from because of pressure. And so I think the more compassionate we can be that the people around us, they're not. Not supporting us because they don't think what we want is valuable. They're not supporting us because no one supports them.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And I've definitely seen that with the people that didn't support me at the time. Most of them are still in my life, if not all.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Co-host 1]

So when you decide you're gonna go. Is the intention when you go, to do it for the rest of your life? Like, is that what most monks do? Or is it, like, something that you practice for a shorter amount of time?

[Jay Shetty]

So I definitely made the decision that I was gonna do it for the rest of my life. Like, I felt that I went in there really clear that this was what I was wanting to do and that this was my path.

[Co-host 3]

Okay.

[Jay Shetty]

And I almost looked at it how you'd look at a marriage in that I think when someone gets married, their intention is, we're gonna do this forever.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And so, you know, at that time, at least in my naivety, my enthusiasm, my genuine calling, at the time, I was like, this is it. This is life. This is. This is what it's gonna be.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Co-host 1]

So then when. When did you get to the point when you decided you wanted to leave that and come back to normal society?

[Jay Shetty]

The real world? Yeah. Well, it's. The reason why I describe it like a marriage is because it felt like a divorce. Like, breaking up with being a monk is what it felt like, because it felt like my whole college life. Imagine you fell in love with someone at college and you were waiting to get married to them. And that's kind of how it felt to me. It was like my whole time I was at college, even though I was dating, and I was, you know, doing everything a normal college student does, in the back of my head, I was like, I really want to become a monk. I have to figure out a way. And then you finally get there, and you're like, yes, I graduated. I chose to become a monk. I did it. I'm here. We got married. We're in love. This is going to last forever. And then three years in, you're like, I think this isn't going to work. And it's interesting because a divorce is a conversation between two people. But this type of divorce is in your own head, and it's with yourself, which sounds like it should be easier. And it probably is than breaking up with someone else because it's only your feelings. But it felt like there were these two choices because what it was for me deeply was I felt a calling to share what I'd learned. And it's not that the monk could discourage that. They encouraged that. They would encourage me to come back to London and give talks. We'd go to Europe and teach meditation on the streets. Like, we had some really incredible experiences. But I think it was a really fascinating realization that you've done something for three years. It's meant to make you more self aware. But the result of my self awareness is I'm not a monk. And that's a really interesting kind of thing. Like the whole point of all these practices are meant to get to know myself better. But getting to know myself made me realize this path is wrong for me. And that's a really harsh realization.

[Co-host 4]

Wow.

[Jay Shetty]

And I remember it just. It probably took me six months to even admit that I was thinking about it because I felt so guilty. I felt the pressure again of what people would say. I was scared about all those people who wrote me off before I joined.

[Co-host 3]

Don't do it now. Here you are coming back with your tail between your legs.

[Jay Shetty]

Literally. Like, I was like, they're going to be right. They all told me I'd never get a job. They all told me that I was wasting my life. I was. Now like, oh, gosh, now I'm three years behind in the career market. If I come back, do I even want a real job? Like, what does that look like? I'm not sure that I'll fit in. Like, what will I do? I really love this lifestyle. And so I came back with a lot of. I didn't even admit it at the time, but I definitely was depressed. And I didn't even accept saying the word because I was so scared that I would go so deep into it that I wouldn't know if I could pull myself out.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And so that's. That's why I left. And that's why I felt such a, you know, heavy feeling when I left. Because I felt like I'd let myself down. I felt like I'd let my teachers down and I felt like I'd let my friends and family and community down. Who kind of predicted it anyway?

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And I couldn't see it. So I felt like the fool. And so there was shame. Guilt, embarrassment.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

Humiliation, you know, everything. And it sounds ridiculous now because it was only to like my tiny community that.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

You know, but everything's proportional yeah, Well.

[Co-host 1]

I feel like it's so relatable. Even though, like, on the surface, like, relating being a monk and leaving that to other society wouldn't on the surface seem like it could match. But I feel like that is so relatable to any, like, relationship. Moving to another state, getting a new job, like, all of that is going.

[Co-host 3]

Down that you think is the right decision and realizing that it wasn't. And, you know, you take the good from it, but, you know, it almost feels like starting over again.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's why the divorce, I think, is the best way to look at it. Like, I think when people are reflecting on, do we get divorced? Do we stay together?

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

It's all the same things. They're like, what are family's gonna say? If you've got kids, you wonder, you know, what are the kids gonna do? Like, all the same thoughts. And it really is that there's no. It's just that I was doing something that was very random and different. But the feelings and emotions of us as humans, when you quote, unquote, fail at something.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

Not saying that divorce is a failure or that what I left being was a failure, but I felt that. Yeah, I felt like a failure.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And I think we have the same emotions, whether you fail at a marriage or failure being a monk.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah, precisely.

[Co-host 3]

How was transitioning back from three years of, you know, living that life to being back in London and just like, thrown back into this different world?

[Jay Shetty]

The first month, if I'm honest, I went back to all my old bad habits. Okay. And so that means. And they weren't that bad, but it was like I was not. I was not waking up early. I was like, sleeping the whole time. Partly it was because my health had taken a hit as well. I was quite physically drained. I'd been in hospital just before I left because the taxing impact of the monk life physically really took its toll on me as well. Oh, wow. The sleeping on the floor, the communal living. If someone's sick next to you, you're getting sick. If someone's waking up at 2am you're waking up earlier just because they've woken up. There isn't that, you know, you're sleeping in a room with potentially anything from 20 to 100 people, depending on which monastery you're at while you're moving around. And so the style of life for me, my body was like, I need my own bed.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

I need my own bed sheets. I need my. You know, I need. I need some. I need to Control the temperature in this room. Like simple things like that that you're used to growing up in London.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And so all of that kind of put me in quite a bad place physically. So when I got back, I was sleeping all day pretty much. I started. I caught up on every episode of How I met your mother and every tv. I love that show. That was at the first show that I watched when I came back. So I was watching every movie that I'd missed. I think I'd missed a World Cup. So I caught up on all the soccer that I'd missed because I'm a big football fan. And then I caught up on. I was just like get. I started eating chocolate again and I was like addicted because I hadn't had sugar for a while. I was listening to Drake again, which was amazing. And so it was like this first month was just like this complete, like as if it never happened.

[Co-host 2]

Right.

[Jay Shetty]

And I think that was almost like withdrawal symptoms in the sense of like this, this feeling of like, oh gosh, I failed. Now what? Who cares? Forget about it all. And I remember one night where I was like, I was washing up dishes at night after eating dinner and I'd moved back in with my parents at this point. So I was living with my parents because I didn't have any money and didn't have. I didn't have anywhere to go.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And so I'm living back at home and I was just washing dishes and I remember like looking at my reflection in the window that's at, you know, near my parents kitchen. And I was just looking at myself and I was thinking, what would I be doing if it was 7pm in the monastery? Like that. That's the thought that came to my mind. And I remembered I would have been in a collective prayer or a collective meditation before going to sleep or I would have been giving a talk at a university or a school or something to inspire young people. And I was just thinking, I was like, that was real. Like that's what I was meant to do. Like that was what I wanted to dedicate my life to. And I now have a choice to make that I either give up my dream or I find a way to still make it real even though I'm not living there.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And it was that thought that changed everything. Where, you know, I started to get ready as if I was getting ready for work. I'd go to my local library, I'd sit there and apply for jobs. I'd read the Vedic literatures that I'd been Studying and I'd read personal growth and self development books. And I spent probably around 10 months doing that before I finally got a job after being rejected from 40 companies before an interview.

[Co-host 2]

Oh my gosh.

[Jay Shetty]

Because no one would give me a job. And you know, surprise, surprise. No one wants to hire a former monk. Like, everyone's like, what are your, what are you.

[Co-host 3]

What'S your resume?

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah, being silent and sitting still. We don't need that in the company. And so it was like a really. Those 10 months were really tough.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And it took even my first day back. So when I finally got a job, they had a, almost like, what do you call it? Like a, A pre drinks before you start the job kind of thing. Like, I don't know what it's called now. I like orientation induction kind of vibe. But it's like social.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And it was like pizza making and wine tasting. Oh, wow. Now I don't. I didn't drink alcohol ever since I became a monk and I've never drank alcohol again. And so I was like, God, I'm not going to drink the wine and you know, pizza making. All right, I don't know. I'm going to talk about. And I was so stressed. I remember getting the training to this event and I was so stressed because I was like, I haven't done small talk. I don't know how I'm going to connect with anyone. How do I explain what I've been doing for the past three years? Like, and everyone's younger than me because I've got onto the grad program. So most people are like 21, and I'm born in September, so I'm like 25, 26 going in. And so I'm like, I'm. I'm so much older than everyone as well.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And so I'm just thinking, this is going to be strange. And so I remember that pizza making and wine tasting. I just found like one person that I went and had like a, A meaningful conversation with because I was so scared to talk to anyone else because I didn't know what to say.

[Co-host 3]

What, what, what did you say? What was your first job back?

[Jay Shetty]

My first job back was working at Accenture, which is this big management consulting firm.

[Co-host 3]

Okay.

[Jay Shetty]

And that's kind of the track I probably would have taken, that or investment banking if I would have before gone straight if I hadn't become a monk. But I wouldn't have been rejected by 40 companies. And so to get that job was such a slog because 40 companies were just like, we don't want you. Even I didn't forget. We don't want you. I just never heard back.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

Because there was no interview, so it was rough and tough, and so I was so grateful to get that job because I was like, at least I can pay my own bills and not be relying on my family at this age and, you know, not be living in my loft bedroom that I grew up in.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

So.

[Co-host 1]

So from there, how do you transition from corporate almost back into wellness space?

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah, it was. It was really interesting because what I realized was that being a monk was like being at school and everything that came after, it was like taking the exam. And what I mean by that is I learned all these incredible philosophies, tools, practices while living as a monk, but it's only when I left did I realize how valuable they were.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

Because you got to test them in the real world. Right, Right. It's like you've learned these in this not perfect place, but you've learned it in this safe space where everyone around you is following these principles and everyone's meditating and everyone's doing all of it. And then all of a sudden, you're in the real world, and now it's like, all right, well, do I follow what the real world says works, or do I follow what the monk said? And I was really fortunate that at that time, I went, I'm going to follow what the monk said. I'm going to see whether what I learned was true. And so there was this beautiful verse that I remember that I studied, and it says, when you protect your purpose, your purpose protects you. And I never heard it that way, because if you think about our language is all about finding purpose. It's all about looking for purpose. But the Vedas say that you already have purpose and you have to protect it. And so I knew that my natural purpose was I love teaching. I love sharing. I loved giving principles, I loved making tools really accessible. And so when I joined Accenture, I was like, I need to find a way to do that here.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And I. My. My interesting fact about myself at work was that I used to be a monk, and I teach meditation.

[Co-host 3]

Pretty interesting.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah. And so, because you had to write it down on the first day, like, everyone had their interesting fact, and someone was like, I bumped into the royal family, or like, I swim for the country or whatever it is. Right. And mine is, I used to be a monk, and I. I know how to meditate, and I can teach meditation. And what happened was I got really lucky, and this is the beauty of timing, the universe, things that you can't control. Accenture at the time was really focused on mental health and this is 2013, so it's early days. But Accenture is a very forward thinking company, really values employee well being and they were making it a priority in 2013. And so my managing director at the time heard about me and my interest in meditation and my background and she said, I want you to, to at the next company off site, teach meditation to your peers and talk about what you're doing in the workplace.

[Co-host 3]

Wow.

[Jay Shetty]

So, by the way, I have no brand, no one knows who I am. I. No one has a clue. And I'm putting on stage at Twickenham Rugby Stadium, which is like a, it's, it's where the England team play rugby. And so it's at, imagine a sports stadium, but in a private conference center. And I'm on stage in front of a thousand of my peers who don't have a clue who I am.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And they're like, hey, this is Jay Shetty, he's one of your peers and he's going to teach you how to meditate. And I'm sitting up there and I'm in between like our company CEO and Will Greenwood who won the rugby World cup with England. And I'm in, in the middle of them. And so I have again, I have no clout on this stage whatsoever. I have no place to be there.

[Co-host 3]

Right.

[Jay Shetty]

And I just practiced my breath work before I went onto stage that I'd learned during my time in the monastery. And I went and taught meditation just from the best intention I could find. I was like, I really believe this will help people. We have a stressful, fast place workplace. Let me try. And it was amazing. The response I got. My managing director came up to me afterwards and she said, I've never heard a group of your peers be that quiet ever and be that present. And then everyone inside the company started inviting me to teach meditation to small groups. So on top of my day job, I would travel around the company. So I was still doing, I was still a consultant by day.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

But on top of that I would travel around and teach meditation. And so the first time I did it, two people showed up. And then the second time I did it, five people showed up. And then the third time I did, maybe 10 people showed up. And so I would literally start. I was just teaching meditation to my colleagues for free. It was like meditation Mondays. I do mental health weekly check ins. And the company just really encouraged it and so even though it wasn't my job and it wasn't my role title.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

It became a part of my life and I loved it. And so that's how wellness came back into my life. And it was. I'm so grateful for that. That's why when I'm. If I'm talking to anyone today who's. Anyone who's listening today, and they're like, jay, I hate my job.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

You know, they're listening to us right now and they're like, I hate my job. My job isn't my purpose. My job isn't my passion. Find a way to bring your passion into work. It's going to feel really risky to quit your job, try and build something. And I'm not saying you can't do that. One day maybe you will, but find a way to bring that passion into your workplace. Find a way to bring your skill, your talents, whatever it is, into your workplace because it will build your confidence, it will help you learn, it will help you build amazing relationships. And I have so many good memories of traveling around teaching meditation to two colleagues. And it was great. Yeah, it was awesome.

[Co-host 3]

I love those photos that you post of when you started doing it. And there's five people listening on the stage with thousands now. It's just so. It's so cool to see.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah. And it's. It was so meaningful then. Like, I never sat there and went, I really hope this is 500 people one day. There was a joy in just the fact that especially at that time, at that time, I'm talking about 2013, 2014, 2015. I was just happy anyone cared about.

[Co-host 3]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

Like, it wasn't like, oh, I can't wait for more people. It was just like, I can't believe five people care about mental health. Because it wasn't in the zeitgeist. It wasn't the conversation. So I was so grateful. And I remember there was. Was one guy who is known as like, he was the rugby lad, and so he's like the alpha male Taipei, you know, he was the guy that all the girls wanted to be with and all the rest of it and. And kind of like your old characters that you played, you know, and. And today too, of course, I'll take it. But you know, that kind of like the stud. And he came up to me one day and he was just like, jay, look, I know you teach this meditation stuff. It's like, I really want to learn, but I can't let the girls see that I'm learning. Right.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

So Will you teach me privately?

[Co-host 3]

Hilarious.

[Jay Shetty]

And so he told me this at, like, some evening networking event. And I was like, sure. Tell me when he goes, can we do it now? I think he might have been a little drunk. Anyway, so I was like. I was like, all right, let's. Sure. Like, I was like, whenever I would take up any. I would take up any opportunity. Yeah. To teach someone meditation, because it wasn't common. So I'm like, all right, let's go. So we. We went and found a room at, like, you know, wherever in the office we were. We found this private room. And I was like, all right, well, let's sit in here and meditate. And, you know, it wasn't one of those rooms where you could dim the lights. It was either lights on or lights off. And he didn't want anyone to know he was doing it. So we turned the lights off, and it's me and him in a room. Next thing you know, we're closed eyes. You know, he's sitting opposite me, like you are. We've got hands on our lap. We're meditating on breath work. All the girls run in, turn the lights on, and see these two guys sitting opposite each other going, what are you doing? And all of a sudden, his cover was blown in the dark. Yeah.

[Co-host 1]

Gosh.

[Jay Shetty]

So, you know, I've just got so many good memories of that time, of just, you know, things that wouldn't be weird now or wouldn't happen now.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah. So I have good memories. That's so good. Yeah.

[Co-host 2]

The rest is history.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Co-host 1]

That's so good.

[Co-host 2]

What?

[Co-host 1]

What? I guess. What was the first thing? I'm assuming you left that and then decided to pursue this wellness space. What was that?

[Jay Shetty]

So I think that all these experiences I just shared with you gave me so much confidence.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

That. That this was needed.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And that there were people that were valuing this. There were people in my team or my colleagues that would come up to me and say, this really helped me with my burnout this week, or, I'm going through a really tough time in my marriage, and this was the only break I got, or whatever it was. I was hearing these things, and then I thought to myself, I was like, I'd be. There were two questions I asked myself. The first was, what would my younger self be really unhappy that I've given up? When I was young, I really enjoyed spoken word. I loved poetry. I loved writing. I always enjoyed that. And I'd stopped doing it. And then I asked myself, what would I regret on my deathbed if I didn't pursue. So if I Fast forward to 90 or 100 years old, hopefully, and I was on my deathbed, what would I look back on and think, you should have done that. You should have tried that.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

Because I'd read that people always regret what they didn't do, not what they did do.

[Co-host 3]

Right.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And I thought, I'm gonna really regret it if I don't try and share this message with more people.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And when I say more people, I mean, like fifty, maybe a hundred. And so I was happy to go around companies. My friends were inviting me to their companies now, so it's going beyond my organization. And then me and my friend were messaging. My friend's a videographer in London, and he videos weddings. And he'd messaged me and said, jay, you always give so many good talks and everything. He goes, we should. We should record them into videos. Oh, wow. And I said, yeah, maybe. I don't know. I haven't really thought about it. I'm not sure. And he's like, no, no, let's just get out there and do it.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

So I scribbled down some scripts. In three days, we went out. It was the end of 2015, or we were always trying to figure out whether it was December 2015 or the 1st of January, 16. Can't remember.

[Co-host 3]

Okay.

[Jay Shetty]

And we recorded four videos. And these videos were me in London, thinking out loud, reflecting, philosophizing on. On themes that I cared about. And we recorded those four videos. And then 2016, I put out my first video, and it got like a hundred views. And I was over the moon, and it was amazing. I was like, wow, 100 people. And then, you know, that video maybe got to like 5000 views. I was like, this is incredible.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And then I put out the next one. And then in a month, I had a thousand YouTube subscribers. And I was so happy. I was like, this is insane. Like, I've been speaking to groups of five to 10 people, and I remember my friend saying to me, like, this is the peak, right? Like, this is it. Like, well done. Like, it's not going to get much better than this. Enjoy it while it lasts, Right? And I was like, yeah, maybe. I don't know. Like, let's see how it goes. And so it was really just my friends by chance mentioning it to me. Me kind of going out there and recording videos that were based on talks and meditations that I'd given and then kind of putting it out there into the universe.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And Ariana Huffington Saw them around three, four months in, and they didn't have loads of views. Then they maybe had like 10, 000 views or something like that. And Ariana Huffington saw them because my old boss from Accenture, she showed them to Ariana Huffington at Davos, and Ariana Huffington saw them. And then that was when the HuffPost started sharing them on their page. So there's no money. There was no. I didn't have a page. They were like, we'll share your videos.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And so they started sharing them and the first video got a million views in seven days, which for them was basic. They were like, we do that all the time. Right. So they weren't that impressed. And then the second, I was like, this is insane. And then the second video got a million views in 24 hours. And then the third video got a million views in 12 hours. And then the fourth video got a million views in six hours. And those four videos did like 250 million views or something. Crazy.

[Co-host 1]

Wow.

[Jay Shetty]

And that was just, you know, that's where that was the tipping. The first tipping point in 2016 that led from me kind of doing this for two to 10 people to then.

[Co-host 3]

Right.

[Jay Shetty]

Having an opportunity to do it for more.

[Co-host 3]

Holy crap.

[Jay Shetty]

Wow.

[Co-host 3]

That's incredible.

[Jay Shetty]

Sorry for the long winded answer. No, I was trying to give you. I was trying to give you all the detail.

[Co-host 1]

Oh, no, that was great. No, that's.

[Co-host 2]

I love.

[Co-host 1]

I just love learning, like, what. Like, we just had Mel on recently. We were like, talking with her, like, how she got into it. And I just love learning how people who have fully just like, immersed themselves into this career and are so good at it.

[Co-host 2]

Like, what?

[Co-host 1]

What? Like before that looked like. Yeah, it's so. It's so fascinating.

[Co-host 3]

Yeah, agree.

[Co-host 2]

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[Co-host 1]

Should we jump into mindfulness?

[Co-host 3]

Oh, sure. Love the.

[Jay Shetty]

You guys are so easy to talk to. So I'm sorry if my answers have been too long. I'll cut them down.

[Co-host 3]

You could sit here forever, but no. Diving into the topic of mindfulness, I'm curious just coming from the the king of mindfulness himself, in layman's terms, how. What would you say mindfulness means to you?

[Jay Shetty]

Mindfulness to me means being able to be present with what you want, when you want, and how you want.

[Co-host 3]

Okay.

[Jay Shetty]

And so mindfulness is just the ability and the act of bringing your presence to something that you choose to be Present with.

[Co-host 3]

Okay.

[Jay Shetty]

And most people find that very difficult because even if we want to be present, we're absent. And even if we want to be there, we can be lost in a million dots.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And so mindfulness is, to me, is the ability in the act to be able to point your attention in the direction that you want it to be in.

[Co-host 3]

Okay.

[Jay Shetty]

Does that help? Does that feel simple enough?

[Co-host 3]

Yeah. Presence.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Co-host 1]

I feel like I hear the word mindfulness, and it's like, such a commonly used word in this space, and sometimes I'm like, wait.

[Co-host 3]

Yeah. What exactly does that.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah.

[Co-host 3]

And how do you. I guess this is a good question for you. How. How do you then, like, specifically approach implementing mindfulness into your daily life?

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah. And if you. If you want to go a step deeper in the definition, it's doing everything with intention, so everything is done with. I'll give an example, by the way. Definitely not the king of mindfulness. I. I was talking to. I was talking to my team member yesterday, and I said something, and it was just unmindful because I just. It wasn't intentional. And then I messaged her afterwards, and I was like, hey, I'm really sorry I said that to you. Like, I was just so not mindful in that moment, and I felt terrible, and I said, I hope it didn't, you know, it didn't affect you in that way. And she was so sweet about it. But I make mistakes all the time, and I think mindfulness is being intentional. Like, I know why and I know how and I know where I am, and I'm. I'm thinking about being here. For example, like, I've come on this show with you guys today. If I'm mindful, it's like, I know who I'm gonna meet. I've been present, and I've. I've watched your guys's show. I enjoy your interviews. I love your style. Like, I have a sense of what this room even looked like before I'm here. On the way here, I was thinking about the kind of things we'll probably share and talk about. And so I've come primed, prepared, thoughtful about it. That doesn't mean I'm prepared. I don't mean prepared in terms of rehearsed. I mean prepared in terms of I have prepared my mind and energy to be present.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

Whereas most of us, sadly, don't get that opportunity, and we've run from thing to thing. And so most people take their last meeting's baggage and into their next meeting.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

So the first 15 minutes of the next meeting, you're actually thinking about the last meeting. So you've missed the context of this one. And then you take that absence into the other. And so when I think about it, it's like when we're at work, we're thinking about vacation, and when we're at vacation, we're thinking about work.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And it's because you can't be absent at work and present on vacation. And you can't be present on vacation and then not present at work. You're presence or absence is going to bleed into every area of your life. And that's why people who are disconnected at work, you can't then come home and suddenly be present with your family, because you've trained your brain and your mind to not be where you are. So mindfulness, in the basic way the Zen saying would be to be where your feet are. To truly be where your feet are. To truly be right here, right now, and nowhere else.

[Co-host 1]

Wow.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Co-host 3]

That's great. I was gonna say.

[Jay Shetty]

So do I. I was gonna say the same.

[Co-host 3]

It's like you need to be better at that.

[Co-host 1]

No, that's. That it's such. It's such a good reminder. And I guess that's why it's so commonly used in this space, is being where your feet are and truly being present.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah.

[Co-host 3]

So much easier said than done.

[Jay Shetty]

So much easier said than done. And it's practice. Right. Going to your question. Like, it comes by trying to do it in the most basic of ways.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

I. E. Next time you walk into a space. My favorite technique. This is. This is by far my favorite mindfulness technique that I share all the time. It's super simple. Anyone can do it. It's called the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 technique. And the technique is, whenever you walk into a space, first look at five things. So we can look around this room. We can look at the colors, we can look at the shapes, we can look at the shades. Just take it in.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And observe five things more deeply than you would. So I can see the yellow lemons. I can see the green leaves. I can look at both of your eyes. I can see what you're wearing.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

So I can be present through the sense of seeing.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

Now, what are the four things I can touch? So this chair, when I came in, I can. The texture, the temperature, the smooth or harshness, whatever it may be. You made me pick one of the questions. Like, I can feel the paper. I picked up the glass to sip some water. Let me be present through touch Three things that I can hear. I actually, the first thing I noticed when I walked in here is how peaceful it was. Like, your whole home has such a peaceful energy. It was so calming. And even this room, I was like, wow, there's so much stillness here, which I really love. And then, of course, I can hear your voices. Maybe there's a little bit of white noise, tiny bit that I can hear. And then there's two things I can smell. And then finally, one thing I can taste. So if you ever worried that you're not where your feet are, simply focus on the five things you can see, the four things you can touch, the three things you can hear, the two things you can smell, and the one thing you can taste. And you will be right where your feet are.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And so that's the simplest, most easiest mindfulness technique that I've loved learning for years. And I even do it when I'm in a really special place, kind of like an Instagram picture spot. And this is the picture I try and take.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And the last time I was teaching this technique, I was teaching it to a group of friends in Bhutan last year, and we were in this old Bhutanese castle fort, and it was candlelit, and we couldn't really see that much, apart from certain colors. And if I close my eyes today, I can be right back there, because I practiced this. And so it's not just a technique of being present, it's a. It's the technique of taking a mental picture that will never leave you.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And so if you ever are having the most beautiful date or time with your family or your friends, do this together. And you will never, ever forget the imprint of that special moment that will last for you in your heart and your mind forever. So, anyway, it's one of my favorites.

[Co-host 3]

I like that a lot because I think to myself all the time, like, how many, like, people ask me, and we ask a lot of people on this podcast as well, but when people ask me, if you could go back in time and do anything differently, what would that be? And I always. My answer always is, I wish I could go back in time and just, like, be in the spaces I was in and, like, the memories I have and just, like, relive them or wish that in that moment, I just enjoyed them more. Because I sit here today going, wow, I've done some, like, really amazing things in life, and I don't remember much of it. I almost look at that person and those memories, and it just. It feels like somebody else, because just life was such a whirlwind. And I think I was just always so focused on, you know, what's to come, instead of being like, wow, I'm presenting at the Oscars right now. I'm having lunch with Tom Cruise, like the craziest of crazy things. And, you know, it's just, I don't. I definitely was not present. I was appreciative. But I wish that I in, you know, moving forward, I want to do that, you know, whenever. Like, for example, this moment right here, 10 years from now, I want to be able to remember this moment, having this conversation with you very well. And that's definitely something that I want to start implementing into my life. So I don't do the same thing that I've been doing, which is thinking about the past and being like, it just seems so blurry and I don't really remember things very well.

[Jay Shetty]

They say it's one of the reasons why. One of the reasons why we feel life is moving faster as we get older is because we have less present absorbed new experiences. So when you're young.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

Everything is just so amazing.

[Co-host 3]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

Right. The first time you went to Disney World, the first time you went to your favorite restaurant growing up, the first time you could remember a birthday, there was a newness and novelty. You were present, you remember so much. And then as we get older, it's not that time moves faster. It feels like it does because we have less novel, profound, absorbed experiences. And I felt that. I mean, I think all of us who live through the pandemic, it feels like the last five years have just gone like that.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And it's because everything just seems the same, feels the same, but when everything feels the same, that's when you have to look for the new. Yeah. And I remember one of the mindfulness practices that I learned in the monastery that I loved is often we were asked to walk down this path. And we'd walk down this path every day during this exercise. And every day you were asked to find something new to focus on. So it's the same old path, but you had to discover something new. It could be the shape of a stone, could be the color of a flower, it could be the shape of a leaf, it could be a new plant, it could be a new animal, whatever it was that you found. And it was really interesting to me because the mind would try and game the system so my mind would be like, oh, I'm going to find two new things today, so tomorrow I don't have to look for something new. And I'll just come back here. And then my monk teacher would change it the next day and go, well, today I want you to not worry about anything. And then you'd be like, oh, gosh. So it was, it was. But it was this practice of how can you do the same old thing and find something new? I think that's the key to create marriage. I think that's the key to great life. I think that's the key to loving your home. Because anything you can become familiar with.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And lose its value.

[Co-host 3]

Yeah. You start to take it for granted.

[Jay Shetty]

Exactly. So, and, and by the way, you being so honest and vulnerable about you feeling that way about amazing experiences you've had. We've all done it. I still do it. This is. We're all a work in progress. And these techniques are some techniques that I think have really stayed with me and I still try and practice today.

[Co-host 3]

Yeah, that's great.

[Co-host 2]

I love that. Okay.

[Co-host 1]

This is something that I maybe want your advice on. But I feel myself sometimes now, like, being in this mental health wellness space.

[Co-host 2]

I don't know if it's like, if.

[Co-host 1]

It'S imposter syndrome creeping in, if it, like, what it is, but I feel myself sometimes holding myself to like a really high standard standard of making sure.

[Co-host 2]

Practicing mindfulness, making sure I'm going to.

[Co-host 1]

Therapy, I'm doing all the self care things and that I really am, like.

[Co-host 2]

Practicing what I'm preaching.

[Co-host 1]

And I kind of get discouraged because I hold myself to such a high standard that truly, like, isn't realistic. And I'm just curious if that is something you have ever dealt with and just to like, kind of how to like, combat those thoughts of I'm not doing enough. Like, I. I have this platform, I have this podcast, we have our lemon drops listening. Like, I feel like I'm not doing enough, like, to actually be sitting here doing this.

[Co-host 3]

Yeah. Not like, feeling worthy to be, you know, preaching the stuff that we talk about on a daily basis when we know that, you know, deep inside we're not perfect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just having that feeling of, like, am I worthy of, you know, being. Having a mental health podcast.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Co-host 3]

You know, giving advice or having these open conversations with people when, you know, we don't always do things the right way.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

That makes you the perfect person. Like, that thought, that feeling makes you the perfect people to do the show. Because the other two choices are you think you're so perfect that you're qualified to teach, or the other option is you think you're so unqualified that you never do anything. And I think the reality is that none of us are perfect. We're all works in progress. None of us are completely mindful all of the time. We all make mistakes. None of us are superhuman. No one is truly. There is no one that I've met that would claim to be. And what's really interesting about what you said is that I think it shows humility. And when I was with the monks, humility was seen as the most aspirational quality that a human could ever aspire for. That if you. If you were aspiring for humility, you won at life. And there's this beautiful story of Benjamin Franklin, because He had his 13 precepts, so he had a book that he carried around with 13 things he journaled about and wanted to aspire to have in his life. They were qualities, integrity and different things like that. And when he was dying, the story goes that they asked him which one he felt he didn't conquer. And he said it was the 13th one. And they said, what was that? And he said, humility. Because obviously you can never conquer humility, because if you think you conquered it, then you're not that humble. You're a massive ego. But with what you said to me that I love that your lemon drops have you to listen to. Like, that's what makes you both the perfect host. Because you're not coming at this from a point of view of we know and you don't. You're not coming at this from a point of view. If we figured it all out and we're going to teach you everything, you're coming at it from a point of view of, hey, we're struggling with this and we're figuring it out and I'm trying to share it. And by the way, that's what I'm trying to do, too. Like, the reason why I call life the examination and the test is because I'm testing these ideas and I'm teaching what I'm testing and experimenting with. And I found these ideas to be hugely valuable as I've tested them and I'm sharing them. And I would hope that you, me, Taylor, like all of us, that we hold on to that feeling forever. I hope it never leaves you.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

Because if it ever leaves you, to me, that's when we'll actually make the mistake. And so I think that thought is actually the most beautiful thought because it keeps you humble, it keeps you grounded, and it keeps you yearning and wanting to grow and believing and all you have to do is add. All you have to do to that thought is add one thought, and that's grace and kindness. One thing I found in the. The top performers, the most enlightened people, spiritual people, the most successful people, is this balance between having high standards and then having high grace. And those two things together are an unbeatable combination because you hold yourself to a really high standard.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

But you have high grace because you realize that you'll only stay with that standard if you have grace on your mistake. And a good example of this, in a practical sense is Roger Federer, the tennis player was giving a commencement speech last year, and I think he said something like he's lost, like, just. I think he said something crazy like he's only won 70 to 80% of games, but he's lost, like 40 to 50 of points. Like, there was some crazy statistic he said where he's lost a really high proportion of points. And his point was being the best doesn't mean not losing a point.

[Co-host 3]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

It means I just focus on the next one rather than being focused on the last one.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

So most of us, when we make a mistake, we're so focused on that last mistake we made that we can't bring ourselves to focus on the task at hand. And guess what? You just make another mistake, then you make another mistake because you're constantly worried about the last one. And so I think when we're trying to be mindful and we're trying to do all of these things, there has to be a high standard, because the high standard is why you're able to lead and people are able to learn. But at the same time, there has to be a high grace. And so I think you're the perfect people to host it because of that. And don't ever lose it. Keep it forever, you know, And. And I feel the same way as you do today. I. I deal with it all the time. I. I worry that I'm, you know, not X enough, not Y enough, not Z enough, whatever it may be.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And I always want to feel that way because it proves to me that I haven't lost myself. I haven't kind of drunk the Kool Aid and bought into my own hype and, you know, started living an inauthentic life. It's great that I question my motives, and it's. It's great that I check in on myself.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Co-host 3]

I love that fetter thing so much.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah. I need to get these stats right. I completely lost it. I had. I remember, like, I wrote something about it because it was so powerful, but it's. It's a insane statistic of where he's lost a really high proportion of points.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Co-host 3]

And you're in it to win the game.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah.

[Co-host 3]

Not each point.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah. She was.

[Co-host 3]

We were just talking about this the other day. She's very hard on herself like this. She was talking about her. You know, her. Her list of goals for each year and how she was disappointed because she didn't hit a couple of them. And I, you know, have to remind her, like, you. First of all, you had a long list. Second of all, when you created the list, you said you were gonna put simple ones and you were gonna put, like, crazy ones. And when she doesn't hit a couple of the crazy ones, she's, like, disappointed.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah.

[Co-host 3]

And it's just. It's so. It's so true.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Guest]

You.

[Co-host 3]

You know, you be more like Federer.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah, I guess so. I am also realizing now, though, which is crazy. I'm just now realizing it because we've been talking about it this, like, past month. Is those things that I didn't hit, actually, I had no control over.

[Jay Shetty]

Right.

[Co-host 1]

They, like. I literally, like, it wasn't up to me to make that happen.

[Co-host 3]

There's nothing you could have done that would have changed the outcome of the things I'm thinking of.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Co-host 2]

Wow.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Co-host 1]

Why are we just thinking about.

[Co-host 3]

That's a life lesson.

[Co-host 1]

Wow. Okay.

[Co-host 3]

Don't let things outside your control get you, you know, and eat you up.

[Co-host 1]

We say that all the time, but I didn't. I didn't realize it also applied to that.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Co-host 2]

Wow.

[Jay Shetty]

I love it.

[Co-host 1]

The last, like, 10 minutes, and I'm just gonna play it every day for myself. Oh, my gosh. That's so good.

[Co-host 3]

That was good. Can we. Can we talk tour?

[Jay Shetty]

Yes. Let's do it. Yeah.

[Co-host 3]

Okay. So this is. This is shocking to me. This is the first time you're taking the podcast on tour.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah. We've never done it before. Yeah. Never ever done it. That's why I'm so excited about it, because I just feel like. Like, you. You both know this. Having a podcast, it's the community so deep. They're with you all the way. You're in the ears. And it's been six years of the podcast this year.

[Co-host 2]

Wow.

[Jay Shetty]

And so I feel like we've got six years of community, you know, hundreds of millions of billions of streams and downloads, and just being able to go and meet all those people, look people in the eye, have them have a personal experience with the podcast, and you Know, I. I'm just excited to take the show on the road and have these kind of conversations in person. I hope you both will join me for sure. Just to. Really. Yeah. Just. Just to give people a sense of what it feels like to be in the room.

[Co-host 3]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

And, you know, if you could just imagine, like, everyone's here and with us right now, like, what would that feel like?

[Co-host 3]

It's gonna be special.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah. I'm really excited.

[Co-host 3]

I just. I can't believe. That's so cool. That's gonna be awesome. What. Why would you say it took this long to do it? And what. What was it now that felt like do it?

[Jay Shetty]

I think that it was probably a bit of imposter syndrome going back to that. Like, there's a feeling of wanting. Have to. There's a feeling of having wanted to do something for a period of time where then it feels like now I'm worthy. Right. We all have that imposter syndrome of, like, I was like, okay, we got to five years, like, you know, now, now. And. And it shouldn't be that way. I think the pandemic probably played a part. I. If I'm completely honest, I think it's because I am craving human connection so much. I.

[Co-host 3]

Right now. In your life?

[Jay Shetty]

In my life, I'm just wanting to look people in the eye. I want to hold people's hands if I can. I want to invite people up on the stage with us. I want to see the connection that you don't get to see. And for me, it's been a big focus of trying to do that. I took my. I went on a world tour for my book two years ago in 2023.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

Which was so much fun. But I was like, the podcast is the experience that people are tuned into every week.

[Co-host 4]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

So the reaction is going to be even more. When people came out the book tour, no one had read the book yet.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

Because the book was new. But this is like, okay, these are people that listening every single week. So I'm just craving connection with my community. I love how they rally behind each other. I love how there's a. I also think that one thing that happened last time that I really hope I believe will happen even more from the tour is I want people to leave that room with new friends. I want people to leave this space with new connections because they do the same thing every week. They all tune into the same podcast. They all listen to the same episodes. Who better than to connect with than someone that's doing the same thing as you? And sometimes your own friends and family may not be that.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Jay Shetty]

But everyone in that room is. And so I'm excited to see the community that it builds and brings, and I'm just. Yeah, I've never been this excited about anything for a long time now.

[Co-host 3]

I'm excited.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah, I'm really, really looking forward to it.

[Co-host 3]

Definitely need to come.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah. I'd love for you guys to be.

[Co-host 3]

There when you start June.

[Jay Shetty]

So we start in May. Start in May, finish in June.

[Guest]

Okay.

[Jay Shetty]

Doing 15 cities for right now across North America.

[Co-host 2]

Wow.

[Jay Shetty]

And, yeah, it's gonna be great. It's gonna be great. Yeah. I got some really exciting surprise guests, both in health and wellness. Athletes, celebrities. Like, it's a mix of guests, and I think everyone's gonna have an awesome time. Yeah, it's going to be unforgettable.

[Co-host 1]

Oh, my gosh. I'm excited. Yeah, we'll definitely go.

[Jay Shetty]

Yeah, it'll be my own.

[Co-host 1]

This has been. Sorry. To all of our past guests, truly, I think, my favorite podcast yet. I just. I mean, you're obviously, you know, an amazing speaker, and you know your craft so well, but it's just. You're just so, like, real, and, like, I just feel like. Just. It feels like a normal conversation talking with you.

[Co-host 3]

It's a good thing he has humility, because you've really just been building him up this whole time.

[Co-host 1]

Well, you just. You never know what, you know. We never know what. What we're gonna get. A majority of our guests. We don't know. And so just, like, I really just felt like we were like, you know, getting lunch with a friend, just like, you know, getting.

[Jay Shetty]

We should do that, too, together. It'd be nice to do that.

[Co-host 1]

I would love that.

[Jay Shetty]

No, you guys make it very easy. I think that's credit to both of you. You guys create such a wonderful atmosphere, wonderful energy. You both, you know, have such sincere and sweet souls and intentions. It's. It's evident. So it's easy to be like that with you. And I, honestly, I, I. I've never taken for granted anyone connecting with my work. I honestly have never, because I know what it feels like to speak to an empty room. I've done that. I. My first ever talk I gave at a university was four empty walls, and there was no one in the room, and I practiced my speech. And so when there was one person or two people or today, whatever it is, it's like I'm still as touched by anyone thinking my work is meaningful or helpful to them because I live in a world where I remember a time when no one cared or no one listened. So I'm touched by both of your love and appreciation for anything I've done, and I'm excited to do that lunch for real. So we got to set that up. Genuinely. I'd love that. Yes. Yeah. I'd love for you guys to meet Ravi. Yeah. You guys are so. You will so get along. She's always too hard on herself, too, so. Yeah, definitely.

[Co-host 3]

Thank you, Jay.

[Jay Shetty]

Appreciate it. Thank you.

[Co-host 3]

Excited. We'll see you on tour.

[Jay Shetty]

Absolutely. Thank you so much. Please note that this episode may contain.

[Sleep Number Advertiser]

Paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products.

[Co-host 2]

Or services referred to in this episode.