Kennedy (1:44)

I feel like it's more of just a floating situation.

Tay (1:47)

But then when you would want to float when it's like, hot and sticky. But then you wouldn't be able to.

Co-host (1:52)

Get in the water.

Kennedy (1:52)

But also, I feel like with some of the water in Austin, it's so. Because it's so hot.

Tay (1:57)

Yeah.

Kennedy (1:57)

The water is warm. Like, I know, like, in the lakes and stuff like that. Like, a lot of the time, the lake water is not super. It's not refreshing.

Tay (2:03)

Like, yeah.

Kennedy (2:04)

If you go in, like, especially the prime of summer, you go to the lake and you jump in and you're like, oh, my gosh, this is like bath water.

Tay (2:08)

Yeah.

Co-host (2:09)

Yeah.

Kennedy (2:09)

Not good.

Co-host (2:10)

Okay.

Tay (2:10)

Yeah.

Co-host (2:11)

No fun. Okay.

Tay (2:12)

Well, welcome. We start each episode off with this jar.

Co-host (2:14)

We have a little game called Citrus Got Real.

Tay (2:16)

If you want to pull a little piece of paper out of there.

Co-host (2:19)

Sweet. Many to choose from.

Kennedy (2:25)

Favorite restaurant in Los Angeles or wherever you live. Okay. I'm not in Los Angeles, so. And Austin, I would say as of late, it's been Uchiba. I'm like, I. I just discovered sushi recently.

Tay (2:36)

Like, no.

Kennedy (2:37)

Like, I just started trying it.

Co-host (2:39)

Okay.

Kennedy (2:39)

I would not eat sushi for the longest. I just grew up, I feel like, in the middle of nowhere in Pennsylvania. That just wasn't a common dish or anything like that.

Tay (2:46)

Yeah.

Kennedy (2:46)

And so I always grew up super scared of trying anything new. And I've been a picky eater. And just within this last year, I've been really going out on a limb and trying new things. And so I've been like, one thing about me, when I try something and I like it, I become obsessed with it, and I need to eat it every day, all the time. It's all my mind thinks about. Like, I truly get, like, obsessive with things. And for me, it's been sushi for sure. Specifically hama chili. From there, it's like, the best thing ever.

Tay (3:08)

Were you, like, just full send with all of the raw fish, or were you like.

Kennedy (3:14)

I'm still trying to figure out where I stand with raw fish. Like, there's some things where I'm like, okay, yeah, easy. I'll try that. But there's, like, stuff for some reason, like scallops. Anytime there's anything with scallops, I feel.

Co-host (3:21)

Like scallops a little hard. Know if it's cooked, it's. I prefer them cooked.

Tay (3:26)

You can eat them raw.

Co-host (3:27)

But it kind of. I don't really like it raw.

Tay (3:29)

It's like a texture thing.

Kennedy (3:30)

Yeah, it's. And that's. For me. It's always a texture thing for me. And I feel like I always have to be a little bit tipsy before I try something new. I feel like that's always, like, my introduction is okay. I've had a drink or two, and I'm starving. And this, like, it was the same thing with oysters. I went through this huge oyster phase last year where, like, all I would eat was oysters. I never had one up until last year. Finally had one. Next thing you know, I'm like, I need to have my hands on this every single, single day. Like, how do I get oyster?

Tay (3:52)

I had that same phase because I. Again, I'm like, a texture girly. So I was just like, I'm not even gonna try. I've always liked sushi, but I was like, I'm not gonna. This just grosses me out, so I'm not going to.

Co-host (4:01)

And then at our wedding, we were.

Tay (4:03)

Serving, like, during the cocktail hour. They were doing, like, past, like, oysters.

Kennedy (4:08)

That's my dream. Seriously, that's my dream.

Tay (4:10)

I was like, our. When we did our full, like, tasting, the caterer, like, brought it out, and they were like, this is an option. And I was like, okay, if this.

Co-host (4:17)

Is going to be served at my.

Tay (4:18)

Wedding, like, I need to try it. And I tried it. It was literally the best. Then I was hooked. Like, I'm, like, chucking them left and right.

Kennedy (4:25)

For me, it's all about, like. I feel like the mignonette is, like, the big part of oysters for me, and I feel like I just use the oyster as a vessel to, like. I love vinegar. Like, I could chug vinegar. I love vinegar. The oyster is the oyster vessel, and that's how I get it in me in a way of being like, okay, this is, like, tame enough where I can, you know, do it, and I'm not just like. Because I could sit there and actually drink vinegar.

Tay (4:44)

Yeah.

Kennedy (4:45)

So that's like, my little vehicle to get it into my mouth in, like, an appropriate manner. That and horseradish. I don't really mess with the cocktail sauce, though.

Co-host (4:51)

Yeah, I can't do.

Tay (4:52)

Do you like a lot of horseradish?

Kennedy (4:54)

It depends.

Tay (4:54)

Everyone loves it.

Kennedy (4:56)

Like, yeah.

Tay (4:56)

He, like, wants his nose to, like.

Kennedy (4:58)

Burn when you feel. I will never forget the first time I ever think that oysters was the first time I ever had horseradish. And, like, that feeling in my nose where it felt like everything was, like, exploding up my sinuses. It was a weirdly addicting feeling where I'm like, I hate this, but, like, I feel like it just cleared me out. And there's something high. It's like, a high, literally. And I've realized, though, there's two different types of horse radishes. There's like, the. The fresh stuff that's, like, shaved, and it's not usually that strong.

Tay (5:19)

Yeah.

Kennedy (5:20)

But then I feel like the stuff that's, like, pre. I don't even know what it is, is, like, that's the stronger stuff. That's where I can only take a little bit of it.

Tay (5:26)

Yeah. That's how I feel. Like, that's how wasabi is, too, honestly.

Co-host (5:29)

See, I've never.

Kennedy (5:30)

I've never.

Tay (5:30)

I still haven't really tasted wasabi fresh, like, shaved wasabi. Like, I can do that on sushi, but I don't like it when it's.

Kennedy (5:38)

Like, the paste, the green paste.

Tay (5:39)

It kind of. It kind of scares me. When I was a kid, I told my girlfriend that that was like, a mint dessert, and she put the whole thing in her mouth.

Kennedy (5:47)

I don't know why.

Tay (5:48)

I'm literally just actually having that revelation. I forgot I did that. I was probably, like, 10 and a couple of my. Like, I'm still friends with them today, but I told one of them it was like, a mint.

Kennedy (5:57)

Or like, you're like, that's still haunted. Everyone's. Sometimes what happens, though, where you think about things that you said or did as a kid and you're like, oh, that. Like, that actually makes me cringe or, like, haunts me in a weird way.

Tay (6:05)

Funniest thing.

Kennedy (6:05)

We had this, like, garage above our house growing up. And I remember. I have no recollection of ever saying this, but my friends have convinced me that I claimed that, like, we used to live in the garage, like, up above my house. And I used to apparently tell them, like, oh, no, I live there. Like, we fully live there. And then one day they came to my house and asked my parents. My parents, like, we never. And I'm like, I never said that. Apparently I did. That's what they said.

Tay (6:23)

You're sending the record straight.

Kennedy (6:25)

So I'm setting the record straight that I never lived in that garage. And if I did say that, I was a little liar.

Tay (6:29)

Okay, so born and raised in Pennsylvania.

Kennedy (6:32)

Yes.

Tay (6:32)

Small town. What was that like growing up?

Kennedy (6:35)

Honestly, I feel like when you don't know anything different, I feel like now I have a lot of feelings about it. But, yeah, at the time, I was just. You know, when you're younger, you kind of assume everybody's life looks like yours. And I think that's a big revelation I've had, especially with, like, family life lately. As you grow up, you think that everyone has the same family situation as you, and their home life is the exact same. And then you get older and you're like, oh, wow. Like, we all have very different lives growing up. And it's so weird how when you're younger, you just think everyone's the same. And I think being in a small town, that really, you just feel like everyone has the same life. Because now in Austin, like, I'm exposed to so much and so many different people. And back home, I feel like nothing really ever changes back home, which is very great. When I go home, I'm like, oh, my God, Nothing ever changes. I feel like I come home and everything is just how I left it. And I definitely would like to go back eventually. I think I could, like, raising my kids in a situation like that. But then. And then there's also that fear of everybody. It's kind of scary when everyone has that same mindset. And I think that's the only thing that kind of holds me back of being there is I feel like now I've been exposed to so much that I have so many views and so many beliefs that I just didn't have growing up, which is a great thing. And I feel like if you, you know, if you raise your kids with that, it's a whole different conversation, and that's, you know, great.

Co-host (7:47)

But.

Kennedy (7:48)

No, I mean.

Co-host (7:49)

Yeah.

Tay (7:50)

What made you want to move from there or why did you.

Kennedy (7:52)

I never really had, like, a college experience at all. Like, I went from living in Pennsylvania with my family and then doing community college there, and then two years in a community college when it's time for me to transfer. I was about to transfer to, like, a college 45 minutes away.

Tay (8:06)

Yeah.

Kennedy (8:06)

And I did end up transferring and lived there for, like, six months, but I ended up dropping out of school as soon as before it even started. And so Austin was my first, like, big girl move.

Co-host (8:15)

Yeah.

Kennedy (8:16)

And it was a very manageable city to me because I feel like other places you go, and they're so big, and. Yeah, there's so much. I kind of had known a couple of people in Austin, and it was. It was very digestible. Right. Like, Austin's a huge city, but it feels so small. Like, the second you get there, you start to really meet people, and you're like, oh, my gosh. Now it's like, you can't escape it. It's very incestual. It's a very incestual. And now I feel like after being there for three and a half years, I'm like, all right, I know too much. Like now I need to go. I actually do think I need to move soon. But it's been a. It was a really great transition city from going from like small town to like, that was my first big city. And now it's starting to feel small and I'm like, okay, what's the next step?

Co-host (8:50)

Yeah.

Tay (8:50)

So did you move just because you were like wanting something different or was like social media starting to take off and is that why you moved?

Kennedy (8:57)

Social media, definitely. I think was like the main reason behind that. Because the only reason I'd ever been, I'd been to Austin like three times before moving there. And I feel like that's what everyone always says. Like they've only gone a couple of times and then they just decide like, I need to be here, I want to move here right now.

Co-host (9:09)

Yeah.

Kennedy (9:09)

And I feel like, I mean, it was super young. Every time I'd visited, it just seemed like it was like the most post grad place everyone could go. And it kind of gave me that college feeling almost that I didn't really ever get. But I had some friends who kind of were in the social media space. And I feel like compared to where I grew up, everyone is very traditional. And the idea of like even doing what I was doing, I feel like my parents didn't really understand it. No one really believed in it. And I think I kind of met a group of people that were all either young entrepreneurs or people who were in the social media space. And it kind of just changed my entire outlook on everything. And I was like, wait, I can do this. And this is very inspiring. And it was kind of one of those things that, you know, like when people give you advice, sometimes you have to really take a step back and be like, why am I taking advice from these specific, like, do I want a life that's like these people, like, I love my parents and they're amazing, but you know, I think they had a very old fashioned look on things and were like, no, you need to go to school and you need to do this, and that's the only way to be successful.

Tay (10:01)

Yeah.

Kennedy (10:01)

And I kind of took a step back and I was like, but wait, nobody here is doing anything that I want to do. Like, you know, this isn't really where I feel like I should be taking all of my advice from right now. Like knowing what I want to do. I know it's very different from what anyone here has done or wants to do.

Co-host (10:15)

Yeah.

Tay (10:16)

Was what you wanted to do social media or is there something else that you, like, are dreaming of or were dreaming of.

Kennedy (10:22)

I think social media has always been, like, I grew up in a very digital world. Like, I feel like I was right at that generation of people that were seeing people online turn it into a career. Like, ever since I was so little, I remember, like, being obsessed with YouTubers and, like, yeah, I remember, like, realizing in high school that a lot of these people were now doing. Doing it as jobs, but it still seems super unattainable. And, like, okay, that only happens to, like, the lucky few. And then TikTok happened, and when I realized I could do it, I immediately was, like, trying to jump on it any way I could and trying to profit off of it and being like, it didn't start off that way, kind of. And then once, you know, I feel like once you start getting followers, you're like, wait, I know people make this a living. How do I do this? Like, I need to find the people that can help me make this a living. And I think now I'm. I love social media. I'm never gonna probably ever stop posting on socials, but I think it would be nice to be able to kind of, like, move on from that in a way. Whether it's, you know, I have this, like, weird fantasy about acting, but I also know that acting is one of those things where I feel like you have to have, like, the death of an ego in order to do it.

Co-host (11:17)

Yeah.

Kennedy (11:17)

Because I've tried, like, just, like, reading scripts, and there's something so embarrassing about doing it. I don't know why. I can't shake the embarrassment of, like, reading a script and, like, pretending to be someone I'm not. So that's, like, my goal right now is what I'm trying. I'm trying to do that, but it's a slow. It's a slow process. You know, it's like, it does not happen overnight by any means.

Tay (11:34)

Yeah.

Co-host (11:35)

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Tay (11:43)

Made the switch to Quince, and now I am obsessed.

Co-host (11:47)

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Tay (11:52)

And I honestly don't know why I waited so long.

Co-host (11:56)

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Tay (12:43)

Up my space and it just makes.

Co-host (12:45)

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Tay (13:21)

Quince.com squeeze on the note of social media how what's your relationship like with it? Because I know you're like, I feel like you're pretty open and I love like seeing your videos because I feel like you like say my intrusive thoughts out loud. I'm like oh great, it's not just me but how has that like shift been especially growing up in a small town and now like obviously with social media you're flooded with people's like opinions and saying but how has that been for you?

Kennedy (13:51)

I think at first when you first start doing it and you first kind of start getting those initial negative comments and stuff like that, it so shocking because especially me sitting at my parents house, I'm like, you're spending your time like leaving a hate comment. You just are like I'm such a normal person that I can't believe anyone even cares to give me any sort of hate. But whatever. And it's, it's kind of funny at first but then it also kind of really angers you because you're like oh my gosh, you feel the need to explain. I think it's just human nature to be like you don't know me, right? Like you want, you want to be defensive and tell people and set people straight. And then I think I went through a phase of like really being obsessed with what people think of me, you know. And especially I think once I moved to Austin there was a, definitely a switch in my audience. I felt like my audience had been pretty supportive. I would get hate comments here and there or whatever. But I feel like there's this kind of weird thing with social media where people always want the best for you, want you to do better until you do better. And I feel like that's kind of where a lot of people then the hate would start to come from is, oh, she changed or she changed this.

Tay (14:46)

Way or that way.

Kennedy (14:46)

But for me it was always so odd because I felt like if anything it was me having more life experience. And yeah, I feel like I was. The hate was kind of making me more compassionate, if that makes sense. Like I became a lot softer of a human in my real life. I feel like dealing with hate, I started to give people a lot more opportunity and chances, I feel like, than I ever did before that. So it was actually really great. In a weird way, I'm very thankful for social media and all that it's taught me because I feel like mentally it's like pushed me so far.

Co-host (15:15)

Yeah.

Kennedy (15:15)

It made me grow up in ways very quickly. But for a long time I would really like sit on hate and I would really let it eat at me. And even sometimes there's some things now that get to me, but I'm at a place with it where I feel like once something kind of major happens and you kind of hit your big breaking point with hate and you have to become so sure of who you are.

Co-host (15:33)

Yeah.

Kennedy (15:34)

And I think that's what kind of happened to me. Like I would kind of let hate get to me here and there and then a big blow up kind of happened where I feel like everyone was trying to tell me who I was. And that's when I feel like you either like sink or swim, right?

Co-host (15:44)

Yeah.

Kennedy (15:45)

And you, they're like so positive of who you are and you have to now go in through life being like, no, I know who I am and no one's going to ever tell me who I'm not.

Co-host (15:51)

Yeah.

Kennedy (15:51)

And that's where I'm at with it right now. Like, it doesn't really. It doesn't get to me in the same way that it wants it. I think every now and then there's comments or something like that that are kind of like, kind of push out that defensiveness in you. But I also think TikTok has gotten like a really good. I don't know if it's an AI. What it is, but I've been getting a lot of hate comments lately and I'm like, I think that TikTok is getting really good at like, spotting. I used to be able to go and look into, like, reviewed comments that people like the TikTok was like flagging. I don't even have that anymore to like, review. Yeah mean comments. So I'm like, I don't know if TikTok just really good at like getting hate comments right before I even see them anymore or what it is. But yeah, I'm not asking any questions. Sometimes I feel like I get really bad anxiety because I used to, like, just go off on people all the time and be like. And then I feel like it got to the point where I was just so defensive over everything. People would say things that weren't even necessarily hate comments. But I was so. My mind was so set on Everyone hates me. It's so weird how social media changes your perception too. Like, yeah, I feel like it gives me this. It gave me this weird thing of, like, self importance, but not like in a good way. Not like I'm so important. People care about me. More of the. When you have. I feel like, especially with like the rise of places like Reddit and all these things where people gather to just like talk about you and talk about every single thing that you do, it's hard to almost not put yourself in a mindset of like, wait, everything I do, someone's looking at and someone's making comments on. And I do feel like I'm under a microscope. Not in a good way, in a bad way. And then like, when you go out in public, I kind of have this weird thing on my mind of like, I'm constantly being perceived when that's probably not even the truth. But yeah, I feel like sometimes hate makes you think that. That everyone's constantly like, oh, she's doing this or she's doing that and is being overly judgmental when in real life that's not true. It's a very small amount of people.

Co-host (17:27)

Yeah.

Kennedy (17:28)

That are sitting online doing it and it's not really the people in real life.

Co-host (17:31)

Yeah.

Tay (17:31)

And I think the more you like, not ignore it, but ignore it too, is so like, I have never been on Reddit and I refuse to go on Reddit.

Kennedy (17:40)

Don't do it.

Tay (17:40)

My girlfriend, who is an influencer, she will check it every so often and I'm like, no, I never.

Kennedy (17:46)

We're not going to do that.

Tay (17:47)

We're not going to do it.

Kennedy (17:47)

We're not going to do it. I still remember, like, whenever I first discovered, like, Ivan had one because I will never forget, like, the day I remember, like sitting and Being like, oh my God, somebody made a Reddit about me. And I remember like that day, like scrolling and like doing the refresh. Doing the refresh because people were just posting and posting and posting. And then honestly after that, I haven't looked at it since. There's been times when, like, things have happened in my personal life where like, people around me have checked it because we knew that stuff would be posted on there, this and that. But for the most part, I've had a very healthy relationship because it is like an addiction. Like, I know a lot of people, they get so addicted to reading things about themselves and they want to fix it. I just feel like it's a never ending game when you do that. It's like you and then people.

Tay (18:23)

It's just.

Kennedy (18:24)

It's a crazy. It's a crazy mind game.

Tay (18:26)

So is it like. It's kind of like Twitter, but this is literally. I'm literally sound.

Kennedy (18:31)

I don't get what it is, to be honest with you. I think it's people just kind of make pages.

Tay (18:35)

People just feel like going on there.

Kennedy (18:37)

And then they just talk shit.

Tay (18:39)

So like, essentially you don't like, follow anyone?

Kennedy (18:42)

No, no, no, no. Well, I don't know if you follow people. I think, I think you can follow. You can follow pages. I think you can follow pages.

Co-host (18:49)

Okay.

Kennedy (18:49)

And like, people can like subscribe, I think, to like, pages.

Tay (18:52)

Okay.

Kennedy (18:52)

So if someone like makes a page up, someone can subscribe to that.

Tay (18:55)

Okay.

Kennedy (18:55)

And then get in on that and whatever. But I feel like too now reached a point where it's like. So there was a time and place for it. And I think that like the Reddit stuff was thriving and everyone took it as like Bible anything that was like being said on there. And that's where it got really scary. I think y minute was, oh my God. People are just like saying, like, I remember like at one point there was rumors that my. My dog ate my cat. Like, it was, it was, it was like some water.

Tay (19:18)

No, no.

Kennedy (19:19)

Because it's insane. It's like, it's insane. I have like pit bulls too. So like, that actually obviously upset me so bad because like, they already. Pit bulls already get such a bad rep. And the fact that people were. And people just make up crazy conclusions like that and that, and people take that as fact of. Well, I read it on there and that must be true. But I think now we're getting to the point where at first it started off as this thing people would go to is kind of like kind of gossipy and Then it went from just like, gossipy to straight up. I feel like lies and people on, like, rampages of hating people and just so nitpicky that a lot of the people in these communities I started to feel like were like, this is so out of control. Okay? Like, this person cannot win. Like, this is so unfair. You know, if you're just constantly being like, this person's ugly, or those aren't valid criticisms in any way or. So I think now I truly feel like the whole Reddit thing is dying down. Maybe it's just I don't hear about it. Yeah, a lot is. I feel like in like 2022, when it first started, my page first happen, heard about it constantly and people would, you know, try to scare me and DM me and be like, you need.

Co-host (20:11)

To go check out.

Kennedy (20:11)

And I'm like, no, I don't want to see it. I don't want to know about it. And I think now we're having, like, more online awareness of, like, yeah, it's.

Co-host (20:18)

A lot of bs and thank God.

Tay (20:20)

Because, yeah, what you said is so true. Like, we have to remember, like, you could literally, like, go on and like, say anything you want on social media and. Because I don't know if it's because when we were like, brought up, like, just having, like, Google and like, the answer, like, we were able to find the answer. So now people think that, yeah, with social media, them finding the answer, like, there was like a. I don't know the stat, but I think it was last year or the year before. I mean, it's probably still the same, but like, our generation goes to Tick.

Co-host (20:50)

Tock to find the answer rather than Google for sure.

Tay (20:53)

And like, you can I even catch.

Kennedy (20:54)

Myself doing it sometimes where I'm like, looking something up. Like, I was, I was trying to last night, literally last night in bed, I was like, looking up these rings and I was looking them up on Tick Tock. Instead of just like looking at Google and seeing people's reviews on Google, I was like, trying to see Tick Tock. If people were like, making videos about this ring and bracelet because I wanted to buy them. And I was like, I need to see the review. I need to see the review. And yeah, I went immediately to TikTok and I had this like, crazy experience actually the other week that I feel like also made me have like this like, big whoa moment about Reddit.

Co-host (21:19)

Yeah.

Kennedy (21:19)

And all that type of stuff. Like, I was getting a tarot card reading so random in New Orleans on like, the side of Bourbon Street. I'm not even kidding. Like, random as hell. And this. The girl who was giving me this reading, she was just, like, super. She was like an older woman, probably like in her 60s, very negative, very. Just like. And we end up getting in this conversation, and she. We start talking about Ink Masters. Somehow the show Ink Masters gets brought up. So random. She starts going in detail about how she's on the Reddit account, and she's talking all this about these people, and I'm hearing this as like. Like a bystander. And I'm just looking at her like, you sound insane right now. Like, she's going on about, this person didn't deserve to win. And I'll. I'll get on, right?

Co-host (21:53)

And people this.

Kennedy (21:54)

And I'm like, oh, my God. You are the type of person that is probably writing about me right now, and you cannot take this seriously. Like, this girl was getting so. I'm like, why? Is this, like, emotional for you? Yeah, this Ink Master show has gone to the point where it's so emotional for you that I can't even. I'm like, is this what people are doing when they're on my page? Like, they're getting so worked up. Like, seeing this in real life made me be like, this was like my. I touched. I just touched grass in that way. I was like, oh, my God. I was like, I'm not. I be a bigger fish to fry. Like, it's never that serious. If these are the people that are, like, getting so upset about me and getting so worked up, I can live with it. Yeah, I. I think it's okay.

Tay (22:24)

It's so. It's so true.

Co-host (22:25)

It's.

Tay (22:26)

It's. It's such a good.

Kennedy (22:27)

I was like, I can't believe this is real right now. Like, it really put things into perspective for me that I was like, like, oh. Because I think in your mind, like, it's. Because everything's so anonymous. You're like, it could be anybody, and it could be. And then the truth is, it's like. And I don't. I think when you realize that none of these people, I mean, they care, but I feel like they don't really care that much. You know what I mean? Like, this is pure entertainment for them. I feel like I also had to put myself in because sometimes I find myself in, like, celebrity gossip or, like, watching videos about straight up gossip that is definitely not true. And it's just, like, hearsay. And then I have to, like, take a step back and be like, girl, what are you watching? Right now, like, you know, But I think it's also knowing having the awareness of, like, reading something and being like, okay, this could be true, but this could be also completely made up. I feel like we've kind of lost that.

Co-host (23:08)

Yeah.

Kennedy (23:10)

I don't even know what the word is. Like, literacy. Like, media literacy. Almost like reading stuff. I feel like it got to a scary point where everyone just thought everything they read was true.

Co-host (23:18)

Yeah.

Tay (23:19)

Yeah. And even I was talking with someone, they were like, I've never, liked, met a happy person that has left, like, a negative comment. Like, I would never, like, comment about someone's looks or, like, their character or anything. So someone's gonna do that. I know that I'm. They're not a happy person. No.

Kennedy (23:36)

And it's like, if you want to talk that bad, send it to your friends. Like, if you don't have a friend to send it to. If you really, like, if it is killing you, like, you feel like you need to.

Tay (23:42)

Yeah.

Kennedy (23:42)

Why can't you just send a link to your friend and, like, say something to your friend? It just gives me the vibe of, like, you don't have anyone to talk to about it. Actually kind of makes me sad that I'm like, yeah, you don't even have anyone to talk to if you really want to. You can't even send it to a friend and be like, this. This girl's annoying me. This girl's this or that.

Tay (23:54)

Like, Anna Satar always, she tells me, like, they just want to be, like, involved. Like, yes, it's people.

Kennedy (24:00)

It's a validating thing.

Tay (24:01)

People just want to be, like, involved in what's going on. So, like, they leave a comment so that they can, like, be involved.

Kennedy (24:07)

I feel like it's a huge form of validation for a lot of people.

Tay (24:10)

Yeah.

Kennedy (24:11)

Where it's like. I don't know why I feel like, because if you have these feelings or whatever, you should be okay with, like, sitting with you. You see a video. If I ever see a video that bothers me, scroll, scroll, scroll. I don't need to, like, be giving out all of my opinions and emotions. But I think that it's, like, this weird addiction to having people validate you and tell you, like, oh, no, I agree with you. And then people kind of get on this, like, powerful.

Tay (24:32)

Yeah.

Kennedy (24:33)

High horse of, like. Yeah. See, people agree with me, and I hold power now because people agree with me. And. Yeah, it's. It's kind of. Yeah. It's bizarre.

Co-host (24:40)

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Tay (28:00)

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Tay (28:52)

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Tay (29:57)

Learned to like set boundaries with social media? Like how do you, how do you decide what you want to share and not. Because I feel like you're pretty like open. Yeah. About life and what you have going on.

Kennedy (30:07)

Definitely open. I think that it's been a lot of trial and error though for me. Like. Yeah, I think I grew up watching a lot of people like Tana Mongeau who were just very much themselves and that was like a huge part of like when I was kind of starting my content I was like, well I'm very much me and I have no problem being me. And that like was the forefront of all of my content was just being very open and that was great. It helped me really build a community. But I think then you kind of get in this unhealthy place with people where it's, it's all fun and game sharing and you know, letting people in on your life until you realize there's this like weird switch that happens where people then feel like they know you to an extent of like, they get so parasocial and then they just then start making assumptions after assumptions after assumptions. And I feel like that's when it started to get dangerous and just overall bad for my mental health.

Co-host (30:51)

Yeah.

Kennedy (30:51)

And moments like that. And I feel like there was a huge phase for like 2022 to like 2024, honestly. 2023, 2024. And where I was like struggling so much with like, what do I share, what do I not share? Because I'm trying to set these weird boundaries. But also do people even have interest in me if I'm not overexposing my life? Because that was a huge thing that started all of my content. That was a huge, you know, that's what made me me online was being me and over sharing. And now I think I've gotten to this place where it's, I want to protect myself and I want to protect the people that I love that I still, I feel like have slip ups of sometimes I share things and I'm like, why did I share that? Like that that was too much. But I think just setting that healthy boundary of like, you know, I, I can't give people as much because it kind of turns into ammunition. You kind of just start handing people ammunition and for the people that like you and then they turn on you one day and they know all this stuff about you and then they think they can make all these assumptions about you or. Yeah, you're giving all of your information to, like, the people that it genuinely does not. They don't need to know it.

Co-host (31:50)

Yeah.

Kennedy (31:50)

And I think that's where I'm at right now with trying to, like, decide, and I've gotten a lot better at it. But I would be lying if I said there's definitely not days still where I'm like, I post stuff and I'm like, why did I say that? Why did I post that?

Tay (32:02)

Yeah. Do you, like, ever. Do you, like, film something and then post it right away, or do you film it and then, like, save it?

Kennedy (32:08)

No, I post it right away. And that's also, like my. Yeah, yeah, no, like, I film it and it's posted. Like, there's no. There's never any looking back. There's never. I'm sitting on this video. I don't know if I should know. It's like, post it and then. Then you find out by the comments sometimes where you're like, okay, maybe I jumped the gun on that. I. Maybe I should have thought about. Yeah, great.

Tay (32:24)

We just saved in the draft for, like, 24 hours.

Kennedy (32:26)

Yes. Think about with me, it's like an energy thing. It's like, oh, my God, Like, I'm feeling the vibe, like, with all my content, it's all like, unless it's like, obviously, like, branded content that needs to be approved and all that stuff. All of my, like, organic content is filmed, posted, like, unless it's like, a draft. And I'll acknowledge, like, this is a draft. But no, it's like, it's an energy thing of, like, I feel this high of, like, let's just do it. Like, let's just get it up there, let's post it, and then that's when I get in trouble. Yeah.

Tay (32:51)

Yeah. You mentioned your mental health. Kind of struggling with social media.

Co-host (32:57)

What.

Tay (32:58)

What was going on during that time?

Kennedy (33:00)

I think a lot of it was just having, like, a lot of people's opinions about me and my life and especially being so open on social media and giving people so much stuff to work with.

Tay (33:11)

Yeah.

Kennedy (33:12)

Had me really questioning, like, who I was and not even. I think not even realizing that's what I was doing during that time. But now it's kind of more clear of, like, that's what was really going on, was I didn't know who I necessarily was because I had so many people, like, I thought I knew. And I've always. I feel like since I came out of my mother's womb, I've been someone who likes. I know who I am. There's no question about that. Then being on socials, you know, you kind of have all these people telling you who you are, who you're not, or. And it really does make you question yourself in so many different ways, you don't even realize you're questioning yourself.

Tay (33:44)

Yeah.

Kennedy (33:44)

And I think when I look back to that time where I was, like, really struggling with all that, it was because I had so many people shoving things down my throat and telling me who I was, and me not knowing, thinking, I know, and then kind of being like, well, these people. A lot of comments are saying this, so they are probably right. And I don't think it was until that, like, first, like, big blow up where I feel like people were really coming at me, that I. I had to be like, okay, I know this isn't true about myself, and I can either keep on listening to these people and trying to defend myself or just being okay with what I know and moving forward. And I think that's how a lot of now my social media, you know, mental health thing has been, is just being so sure of who I am and also seeing, like, therapists. I talked to therapists and I talk therapist, which was really great for me because she put a lot of things in perspective and a lot of just like, touch, like, go touch grass, basically, without saying, go touch grass. Like, being like, this is. You have to look at it like it's an art project or like you're an artist and just be like, you have to separate yourself from the art. And for some reason, hearing that was, like, major to me. Being like, she's like, you. You post these, like, 30 seconds, 60. Whether you talk and you're very open about your life or not. Like, these people don't. Do not know you. And nobody will ever know you except for the people in your real life. And you just need to separate that. Yeah. And that was huge. And I did get on medication for a minute. I was on Lexapro, and I had a whole journey with, you know, being medicated. I feel like during 2022, it was like, a lot was happening at once. Like, I had this hacker that got into my Snapchat and posted photos of me online. And that was like, a whole thing. Yeah, no, that was like, a whole thing. That. And he would, like, randomly, I was, like, getting anonymous text messages, and I knew it was him. Like, he would always just like, come back around. Yeah, randomly. Like, I'll never forget, like, the day I got logged into my Snapchat, I immediately got text Being like, Kennedy. And I was like, no, this isn't her. And then it was immediately just like, photos of me. And I was like, I'll post these everywhere. And then they did. And it was one of those things also where you kind of have just like, come to terms with there's. You can't give people power. I think a lot of it comes from, like, you just can't give people power. And that was a. I made that switch actually very quick to not giving him power. But I think when he would come back around and just, like, anonymously text me, being like, hi. And I would always know it was him that, like, always had me in like, a constant state of like, just not even feeling safe in my home or anything like that. And then that's 2022 was kind of when that was going on. And then the whole Reddit stuff, I think that's whenever, like, Reddit was really like a big thriving thing and everyone kind of had this fear of Reddit. I don't feel like it is as fearful as it was back then, but at the time it was. Was definitely a scary thing. And I remember going into. It was actually a gynecologist appointment. It was so random. And I had to fill out on the paper, like, you know how you're feeling on a scale from. And, you know, I did all that. And I remember she came into the room and was like, okay, so we're actually not doing your checkup today at all. Like, your answers were, like, very concerning, and we need to, like, come up with, like, a different plan. And I was like, wait, really? Which, like, no, it really wasn't that surprising now looking back at it, because, like, I was definitely down bad. And yeah, she put me on Lexapro, which I know a lot of people have, like, mixed feelings about a gynecologist, but I'm gonna be honest, my gynecologist was like, the. The only professional I've ever talked to who I feel like, really cared about my health and mental health and just overall, well, being, like, she really was all about women's health in general. Yeah, more than, like, I went and ended up seeing, like, a psychiatrist after that. And I feel like it was very much like a. Okay, go, you're medicated, go. They didn't really care about me. Whereas, like, she sat and she listened to me and put me on Lex Pro. And that ended up being. I remember the first day, night that I was on Lexapro. It was the weirdest experience. I felt so out of it and, like, I never really had, like, thoughts of wanting to harm myself. I just had such bad anxiety that I think it was like this cloud that was just over me and I couldn't sleep. But I also. All I wanted to do was sleep. It was, you know, like. Yeah, it was mostly of an anxiety thing. And I remember, though, like, feeling this weird feeling of like, oh, my God, like, I want to crawl out of my own skin. Like, I was going absolutely nuts my first night on Lexapro. And.

Co-host (37:28)

Wow.

Kennedy (37:28)

Eventually I got used to it, which I feel like that should have been a red flag, that if I felt that terribly. But they said, you're going to feel weird and whatever. And it was great for a while, and then it slowly turned into this, like, I'm so numb that nothing affects me.

Tay (37:40)

Yeah.

Kennedy (37:40)

Like, I don't care about anything. You could say anything you wanted and I'd be like, okay. And like.

Co-host (37:47)

And.

Kennedy (37:47)

And it got to the point where I feel like, you know, my manager was like, one day was like, listen, I can't keep working with you if we don't figure this out. Like, this is like, we can't get worked or we can't do anything. So I went back, I got put on Wellbutrin with it, and I kind of did, like, a little, like, cocktail thing.

Tay (38:00)

Yeah.

Kennedy (38:00)

Once again, that made me feel so much better for a little bit. And then, yeah, kind of came back down and went back into that numbing, and then ended up going on Zoloft for a little bit and dropping the Lexapro. And that was probably my. My best option that I had had with my medication. But then I just felt like I was really starting. I just didn't feel like me. I feel like everything kind of eventually was coming back into that gray area. And maybe once again, that just wasn't the right medication.

Tay (38:24)

Yeah.

Kennedy (38:25)

But I've been off medication now for, like, probably almost a year coming up, maybe like, eight, nine months. And there was this really weird feeling when I first got off of it, like a month or two off of it, where I was like, all my human emotion was kind of coming back again, and I would just, like, find myself crying my eyes out in the car, being like, wait, this is kind of amazing, though. Like, it was the first time in, like, a year where I had had emotion, you know, And I was like, wait, there's something kind of. And don't get me wrong, medication is so great. And I think it's one of those things that, like, for sure, that especially mixed with therapy, like, everybody is so different. And I think that's like, what the huge thing is, is, like, you just have to do things that work and try things out. And it's a very personal thing. And I think medication was a great band aid for me, and I think I really needed it, especially when I first got on it. Like, I was so bad that that was the only thing that really helped me, like, get up and be a human again.

Co-host (39:11)

Yeah.

Kennedy (39:12)

But I think after a while, you know, it wasn't really the best fit for me. And getting off of it was like this huge, like, oh, my God. Like, I like having emotion. You know, like when I remember first feeling anxiety again and being like, I'm actually thankful to feel this tiny little bit of anxiety, like, and to be able to have these feelings and evoke such like, a. An emotional response. But I've definitely had times lately where I'm like, wait, am I getting kind of too anxious again? Where I'm like, yeah, thinking about possibly getting back on medication and whatever. It's just a whole journey, you know? And I think that's like the big thing with all of that is it's a journey.

Co-host (39:45)

Yeah. Thank you for sharing that.

Tay (39:47)

That's like, I love. I love hearing, like, there's just so many different stories. Like, it. It's so. It's the same thing as therapy. I feel like with medication, like, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it's good for a little bit, sometimes it's good long term. Somet times, like, it's.

Co-host (40:01)

There's no.

Tay (40:02)

Which I think is what kind of like makes it scary for people.

Kennedy (40:05)

Is there for sure.

Tay (40:06)

Like a cookie cutter answer.

Kennedy (40:08)

And then you hear horror stories.

Co-host (40:09)

Yeah.

Kennedy (40:09)

People get online and they're like, this one made me gain weight, made me this and made me that. And then. And it's hard to kind of shut that out whenever you first get on a medication.

Co-host (40:17)

Yeah.

Kennedy (40:17)

You're, like, trying to do all the research you can. And then if you keep on seeing all these, like, negative videos, but then also you probably see people being like, this is the best thing that's ever happened to me. Like, yeah. That I think is the scariest part of if I ever get on a medication again is diving into, like, yeah, I don't. It's hard to, like, go through that process. And it was really hard getting like, Lex Pro, especially getting off of it. I was so ill getting off.

Tay (40:38)

I was gonna ask how. How that was getting off.

Kennedy (40:41)

So left. I was. I was honestly pretty okay. But the Lex Pro made me. I Will never forget. Like, I was so out of my, like, sorts. And I remember just being like, I couldn't even get out of bed because my head was so. I was like, so out of body with it that I remember being like, I never want to take medication again. Like, this really. This really freaked me out. But I think it's just something you have to really commit to. Right. Like, you know, fixing your mental health is not going to be. And I've been doing a lot of, like, exercising kind of lately, and I think that's been huge for me. I was never an exercise girl ever. Like, I did sports in high school and stuff like that, but after that I was never, like, seeking out.

Tay (41:13)

Yeah.

Kennedy (41:13)

Any exercise. And now that I've kind of been getting into routines and just going for walks.

Tay (41:17)

Yeah, it's.

Kennedy (41:17)

It sucks to do. And especially when you're, like, anxious or depressed, you don't want to. You're right. You're like, I don't want to stay in bed all day.

Tay (41:23)

But.

Kennedy (41:23)

But pushing myself to do that has had such a, like, good impact on my mental. Like, I think that's a huge thing too. Is just like, even in moments where I feel like I'm not feeling grateful, I've made it kind of a habit to, like, go into my journal and even on days where I'm not feeling grateful for, I'm not feeling that. I always just like, write down I'm grateful and things that I'm grateful for. And it. It does kind of help my mind. I feel like slowly, over time, just overall have like a. Just more gratitude.

Tay (41:47)

Yeah, it's. I feel like we. We talk about it a lot or it is talked about a lot, like gratitude and whatnot.

Co-host (41:53)

But.

Tay (41:53)

But I really think practicing it right. Can really shift your.

Co-host (41:58)

You have to.

Tay (41:58)

That's so important.

Kennedy (41:59)

And I feel like that was like a huge thing. I like when I was hitting those, like, emotional. When I was like, crying again and stuff, it was like these weird moments of, like, gratefulness for, like, I don't even know what. It would just be random things and I'd be like, I'm so grateful for this. Or I'm so grateful for that.

Tay (42:10)

Yeah.

Co-host (42:10)

No.

Tay (42:11)

My girlfriend, she cries all the time and she. She's like, at least I have emotion. I'm like, you're not wrong.

Kennedy (42:16)

No, you're not wrong. Because honestly, like, there was a long time where I didn't have it and I was like, oh, my God. The things I would do to just be able to like, ball my eyes out Right now we're like. Like, feel sad or feel. Feel anything other than just, like, numb. I would. I would kill for that.

Co-host (42:27)

Yeah.

Tay (42:28)

I love that it was your gynecologist.

Co-host (42:30)

I have.

Tay (42:31)

My gynecologist is, like, very similar. She's the best. I love her. And she, like, really cares about women's health as a whole. But I think that's important, what you said, because I think oftentimes psychiatrists are so quick to prescribe a medication. And I'm all for medication. I have a background in nursing, and so I'm all for it.

Co-host (42:48)

But I do think it's really important.

Tay (42:50)

To talk with a therapist and talk with someone so, like. Like, you can actually figure out what's going on.

Kennedy (42:56)

Yeah.

Tay (42:57)

And properly treat it. Because I feel like sometimes the psychiatrists are so quick.

Co-host (43:02)

That's what. That's what.

Tay (43:02)

Yeah, that's.

Kennedy (43:03)

Dude, they just do it all day and they're just.

Tay (43:04)

All of them. I know some great ones, but that is.

Co-host (43:06)

Yes.

Kennedy (43:06)

They just kind of. I feel like sometimes getting the groove of doing things. And I remember just being like, oh, my God. Like, am I. My gynecologist made sure, like, to give me recommendations for, like, therapist places, whatever, therapy. Like, I don't think she could actually technically give me, like, recommendations of people. But, like, there was, like. I don't even know what. She gave me something that. And she was just like, listen, Medication and therapy has been, like, proved to be one of the better. We have to do both. Right. Like, sometimes it's. And, you know, that's a whole thing too. Like, finding the right therapist gonna be like, I got lucky. Mine was pretty good. But, yeah, you know, I know that can be a whole thing for people, too. And that can be so discouraging when you're, like, talking to someone and you feel like you have no connection with them or they're not listening to you or.

Co-host (43:41)

Yeah.

Tay (43:42)

So I know that's like, by. I'm a big advocate it for therapy because therapy has changed my life, and.

Co-host (43:48)

It is a relationship.

Tay (43:50)

You have to find someone that you know. It's either, like, maybe you want to talk to. If you're a girl, you want to talk to a girl, or maybe you want to talk to someone that has the same religion or the same. Yeah. Whatever it is, you gotta, like, really find, like, who that is. And then it's like a complete game changer. And there's so many different. Like, there's better help.

Co-host (44:08)

There's Rula.

Tay (44:09)

There's, like, so many different online platforms that. That make therapy like accessible now. Yeah, that's like my biggest thing.

Co-host (44:15)

Lemon drops.

Tay (44:16)

If you're listening, there are so many.

Co-host (44:17)

Platforms you can go do it on.

Tay (44:19)

Because that's the biggest thing is, you know, I don't, I pay for my therapist out of pocket and a lot.

Co-host (44:23)

Of people can't do that.

Kennedy (44:24)

No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how I have to pay for my therapist these days is like out of pocket. I haven't seen her in a minute though. Miss her. Maybe I should, maybe I should give her a call in and check up on her, see how she's doing. She's gonna be like, hello? She's like, are you okay? Who's this? Like, are you good?

Co-host (44:37)

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Kennedy (49:40)

It's always funny, though, because I was talking about my, like, to my friends about therapy, and one of my friends just started it recently, and she was like, I didn't even think that I really needed it, like, but I was like, okay, I'm gonna try it out. And she was like, all she did. Like, the first question was like, how are you? And she was like, I just lost it. And I was like, dude, same thing. I feel like that kind of happens to a lot of people because, like, even though people ask you those questions all the time, there's something about going into a conversation knowing kind of, you know, you're going to be talking about mental health and you're going to be talking about these things. And yeah, there'd be random questions that my therapist would ask me that would just evoke so much emotion because I think you're actually kind of putting yourself in a place to think about it and you're not just going through it being like, oh, yeah, I'm good. Yeah, you know. You know, you're kind of expected to sit there and talk. And I remember one time they just, like, asked me about my brother or something like that, and I just, like, started crying about my brother. And I was like, I don't know why I'm crying about my brother right now. Like, this is so random. Like, my brother's fine, I'm fine. But it just evokes different things out of you when you really sit down and think about it.

Tay (50:30)

Yeah, it's important to have, like, an unbiased professional opinion because, like, obviously my husband and I have been together for almost eight years, and we've, like, walked through a lot of mental health stuff together. So we know how to talk to.

Co-host (50:44)

The other, maybe what the other needs.

Tay (50:45)

When we're struggling and still, like, there's.

Co-host (50:48)

Things I won't want to share with.

Tay (50:51)

Him that I will more willingly share with my therapist. And I bet he has the same thing, too. Just because it's like, I don't want to sound like this to him or I don't want him to be offended if I say this. And he, like, takes it out of con. So it's like, yeah, it's so important to have someone that is, like.

Kennedy (51:06)

That's been huge in my relationship lately because my boyfriend grew up with, like, a mom who was a therapist, and so she's very good at communicating. And I feel like he's very good with communicating. And I grew up with, like, just, like a very. Just, like, my parents just say things, right? Like, my. There's never been much thought between what my parents say. Like, I have a good relation with my parents, but, like, we're just. I feel, like, very. As it. Just say it. Right? Just say it. And I think there's not really much thought that goes behind it. And then when I started dating my boyfriend, it was a huge shift because I'm someone who just. I always speak my mind, too. And that's just how I was raised. Just speak your mind and say things. And I don't always say things in the best way and I can, I think. Especially someone who's kind of more sensitive with their words and they're careful with what they say. It was, like, shocking at first for him where he's like, I don't like how you're communicating. I don't know how to, like, take this. And I was like, I don't know how. When you communicate to me, it's hard because I'm like, just get to the. Just cut to it. Right? Like, just. Just. You're beating around the bush too much. Just say what you're feeling. And so I've been trying to definitely find that balance with my relationship right now of, like, being more sensitive to things, because that's one thing I feel like I am not. I am not a very sensitive person. Like, I just. Just say it. And if you don't like it, you don't have to like it. But I think, you know, when you really love someone, you're like, oh, my God, Like, I gotta change this thing about me. And it's gonna be hard, but, yeah, for everyone's sake, I think it's better.

Tay (52:20)

Yeah.

Co-host (52:21)

How long have you guys been together?

Kennedy (52:22)

I think about, like, five or six months now.

Co-host (52:24)

Okay.

Kennedy (52:24)

So it's still very new, but it's one of those things where it's like, why do I feel like I've known you for so, so long? I feel like I've known him way longer than five or six months.

Tay (52:32)

That's sweet.

Co-host (52:32)

Yeah.

Tay (52:33)

Were you, like, nervous to share him on social media or what was that like decision like I was, but I.

Kennedy (52:40)

Also wasn't because it kind of. It started off in a very odd way compared to like most of my other relationships. I feel like we haven't started. We kind of started online, me and him immediately. Like there was kind of this like online thing that happened where he made a video about me. And so it all kind of started out very publicly.

Tay (52:56)

Okay.

Kennedy (52:56)

And it felt like there was kind of nowhere to go from there other. You know, like then. Okay, well then we started hanging out and then even like our first date was like this like dating show thing that was. Ended up being recorded and published online.

Tay (53:08)

Okay.

Kennedy (53:08)

That it was like there was really no escaping the. The Internet. The Internet of it all. Yeah. Like people knowing and being, you know, aware of that type of stuff. So it was definitely odd. And it caused I feel like a lot of weird feelings at the beginning of the relationship. Just on my end being like, wait, like, you know, you never know people's intentions and yeah. Stuff like that. And it was definitely difficult and I think now like I'm still trying to navigate because this is probably one of my more public relationships especially because like he posts me and I post him and. But I usually dated guys before who really weren't on social media at all.

Tay (53:37)

Yeah.

Kennedy (53:38)

So it was always a very one sided thing and now having it two, you know, two ways and it's. I'm still working through that and a lot and I. It's made me really have to be better and I'm like working on my trust and everything like that. I feel like I have a lot of trauma from past relationships and it's really hard not to let that get in the way of like your new stuff. And people necessarily haven't been the most trustworthy. And you're like, you always want to like jump up. Yeah. And I think having just people like be able to be in my business, like that is something I'm still kind of getting used to. And people are like, you realize it happens to everybody that's public or you know, you have to face these things. And I'm getting used to that.

Co-host (54:14)

Yeah.

Tay (54:14)

How do you guys like set? Have you had any conversations with setting boundaries of like what you share online about your relationship?

Kennedy (54:23)

I feel like there has been times where we've like. Well, definitely there's been situations. There's definitely been situations where I think to him too because like the whole social media thing is so new to him kind of.

Tay (54:34)

Yeah.

Kennedy (54:35)

That we've had to have talks of like I've been doing this for a minute now, so I kind of know how things are going to be perceived. And I think I kind of have this whole other viewpoint of things, and I don't get wrong. I still miss and I still post things that I'm like, oh, my God, I should have done that. But I think with him, it's been a whole learning curve. And, you know, he's. He's definitely had to get used to social media and that it's. It's. It's a whole other game, kind of, in a weird way.

Tay (55:02)

Yeah, it's a learning curve. What's one thing that people, like, would be surprised about your relationship? Like, what's one thing people, maybe you think they assume or maybe don't know?

Kennedy (55:12)

I think that he's like, the soft. The soft one. I don't know if people would think that he was more of the soft one. I. I mean, I'm. I'm kind of at, like, this aggressive tone about me, so I feel like that's kind of believable. But I feel like. I don't know, I feel like he's always like, the one who's just, like, very sensitive and he's very, like, considerate. He's a very considerate person, and I feel like that's where I'm. That's where I sometimes miss out on. Like, I'm considerate in my own ways, but overall, it's something I could definitely. I think I could work on. And I don't think people would expect him to be as, like, soft and as sweet as he. As he really is.

Tay (55:46)

That's sweet. I love watching you guys. Your videos are cute. Okay, I have a little fun segment.

Co-host (55:52)

For us to do.

Tay (55:53)

Let's do it.

Co-host (55:54)

Just a few questions.

Tay (55:55)

So it's called Tea Time with Tay. We actually haven't done it in a while, but we have some questions that.

Co-host (56:03)

People have just as I hit my.

Tay (56:05)

Mic, have written in and advice or your opinion, and I will share mine. But the first one is, do you.

Co-host (56:13)

Believe in love at first sight or do you think that grows over time?

Kennedy (56:17)

For me, it's always been, like, one of those things that grow over time. I feel like anytime I've met someone and I think it's like, love at first sight, I think it kind of like, goes and it comes and goes very quickly for me, at least.

Tay (56:27)

Yeah.

Kennedy (56:27)

I feel like sometimes with boys, I don't know, I feel like I always see these videos of, like, old couples being, like, they ask them and, like, women are like, oh, no, I Did not like him at first. And the men are like, oh, no. I knew immediately. I think sometimes that can come at play. And I feel like even with my relationship now, it's so funny, because I was very much against my relationship for the long. This was the most I've ever been against a relationship in the beginning, where I was like, I just don't. We kept on hanging out. I was like, I just. I just don't know if I like him like that. Like, I like him enough to keep hanging out with him, but I just don't know. And then out of nowhere, it, like, hit me like a truck. And then ever since then, I feel like I've only gradually liked him more and more.

Co-host (56:58)

Yeah.

Kennedy (56:58)

And that was really weird, rare, because I feel like in a lot of my relationships, it's been the complete opposite, where, like, a lot of that comes at the beginning. And then the more you get to know someone, the more I'm kind of like, oh, okay. Like, I don't really know if we're a match. We're this and that. And I feel like with him, it's like, it was a. It was a slow burn, for sure, and it. It built up, and now I'm like, oh, my God. Like, every day there's something new about you that I learned. But it's, like, always in a positive. Yeah, it's always positive.

Co-host (57:20)

I know.

Tay (57:20)

I feel like I was kind of the same. Like, I. Maybe I was just, like, in denial that, like, because my. My husband's sister introduced us, but she didn't introduce us to date. Well, he thought that he. Basically, she brought me over to his house for a game night and was like, I'm bringing a girl that I.

Co-host (57:39)

Think you're gonna like.

Tay (57:39)

But I was just going, like, you're.

Kennedy (57:41)

Like, I'm just trying to hang out.

Co-host (57:42)

I just.

Tay (57:42)

I. I had no clue of the setup, but he knew, so he was, like, trying to talk to me. And, like, for a couple weeks, like.

Co-host (57:47)

Like, he had followed me on Instagram.

Tay (57:48)

And, like, we were just, like, chatting, like, hanging out, but, like, never just the two of us, always in, like, group settings. And my parents were like, my dad, actually. He was like, he likes you. And I was like, no. And my dad's never said that. And I was like, dad, he does not like me. And he was like, no, he likes you.

Kennedy (58:03)

Trust me.

Tay (58:03)

I'm like, dad, no, he doesn't. That's. No. And he did like me, but it wasn't. I didn't have that same. Like, I wasn't like, oh, my gosh, you're my person.

Co-host (58:12)

Also.

Kennedy (58:12)

I feel like the guys kind of know that, like, that I feel like boys kind of from the.

Tay (58:15)

Like, like, yeah, they.

Kennedy (58:16)

Something, like, happens and sounds like, why are you still, like, chasing me? Like, I was not really giving him much at all. And I'm like, yeah, he's still. He's like, facetiming me to hang out. I'm like, oh, my God, get off me for a second. Like, give me some space.

Tay (58:28)

I know, but I love what you said because I was. I was actually thinking about this, the Taylor song wish list. Like, the fact that I'm eight years into my relationship and I still, like, get giddy at the thought of, like, having children with my husband. Like, it still, like, that's like, I feel like that's like the love that you strive for. So, like, I feel like this whole we put too much pressure on the love at first sight thing. Yeah. Like, I feel like, you know, I always say it's like the two year rule.

Kennedy (58:53)

I have friends like that that put so much pressure on, like, yeah, they'll go out. And I was always kind of that way too, where I'm like, no, I know myself. Like, if I meet someone and it's. It's just like, not the vibe. Like, I know it's not the vibe. And then next. But I think my boyfriend really changed my perception on, like, all of that of, like, we just kept hanging out and I didn't even know. I think I was at this weird phase of saying yes to everything in my life.

Tay (59:08)

Yeah.

Kennedy (59:09)

And, like, he would ask me to do stuff that was, like, out of my comfort zone a lot. And I would just be like, yeah, I would never actually ever, like, want to do any of this stuff, but, like, go paddle boarding and go to, like, this random country concert that was, like, far away. It was just so not my vibe. But I was, like, forcing myself to say yes because I was kind of down in the dumps.

Tay (59:23)

Yeah.

Kennedy (59:23)

And ended up turning into this, like, really beautiful thing. So all my friends, when they're like, no, I went on a date, like, no, I'm not feeling. I'm like, maybe just give it, you know, give it another try. You never know. You have to stop going into this idea of, like, I would know. I would know because I also thought that I was like that. And it turns out I actually wasn't.

Tay (59:39)

Yeah, that's so true. What's something people should stop doing on first dates?

Kennedy (59:45)

Maybe it's that I think, yeah, I Think being so critical and being like, no, it's not.

Co-host (59:50)

It's.

Kennedy (59:51)

No, I don't like him like that. I think you have to give people sometimes a little more chances. And I think something for me personally, like. And I know this, I overshare too much. And to me, it's just me being me. And I struggle with, like, that idea of, like, is this just me being me? Like, if it's me being me, there shouldn't be a problem with that.

Co-host (60:04)

Yeah.

Kennedy (60:05)

But then also, I look back at, like, random first dates I've gone on, and I've been like, maybe it was too much of myself. And sometimes I feel like people love that. Like, a lot of them, I feel like it actually never backfires. Like, people love that. But for me, I'm just, like. I walk away from it being like. Sometimes, like, I get, like, anxiety. You know what I mean? Like, where I'm like, I should not have been telling them all that information.

Tay (60:22)

Yeah.

Kennedy (60:23)

What about you?

Tay (60:25)

No, I think it. I think it would maybe be that. I mean, I haven't been on a first date in a very long time.

Kennedy (60:29)

Yeah. You're like, well, for me, it's been about eight years, so let me think about this. How long have you been married?

Tay (60:33)

We've been married for three.

Kennedy (60:35)

Oh, okay.

Tay (60:35)

We've been. We've been. We were together for, yeah, quite some time. Yeah. Yeah. It took a little bit, but though I. I think. I think mine would probably be, like. To not be, like, critical of it, because that's the biggest thing I tell my girlfriends. They're like, well, I don't know.

Co-host (60:49)

I'm like, well, like, go on a.

Tay (60:51)

Couple, like, if you enjoyed their company. But, like, you don't know.

Kennedy (60:54)

Right. Like, my friends, like, oh, well, yeah, he was cute and he was nice, but. But I'm like, okay, but what, like, what, you think that, like, it's just gonna be. I feel like, all of a sudden. And then sometimes when you do feel that way, where you're like, oh, my God, I love this guy, and I need to go out with him again. Sometimes he doesn't feel the same way. Like, the amount of videos that. It always drives me so nuts, and I don't know why. I'll see videos of, like. I think I've. It's so weird, but I, like, saw a psychic this one time. Well, a couple times, actually. I was consistently seeing the same psychic, like, using him. Like, his name's Mano. Like, I was calling him all the time, and he always is like, you're like, very male. Like, you're very masculine. You have a lot of masculine qualities about yourself. And for some reason, I feel like it comes out in your, like, female relationships or girl relationships where you don't understand. Like, there's a lot of things that girls do that you just don't. You don't. And it always comes. It's always about, like, males. And I'm like, okay. Like, I didn't really get it. And then I'm like, I think I know what he's talking about. Because sometimes when my friends are talking about it or, like, I'll see videos of people that were like, they'll go on first dates and they'll be like. And we were just like, hitting it off so hard. And then he kind of ghosted. Like, we had the best first date ever. And he just. He's not giving me answers. And I'm like, oh, I don't know how to tell you this, but, like, just because someone can conversate does not mean that was the best first date ever. You know, I feel like sometimes, especially with women, like, women are very good conversationalists. And then when you meet a man who can keep up with you.

Tay (62:02)

Yeah.

Kennedy (62:02)

You can be like, oh, my God, it's him. He's amazing. And it's like, no, I think you just met a very charming man for once and, like, someone who could actually, like, keep up with you. And now you're thinking, like, you guys were in love and it was. But you only went on one date with this man. Like, it might.

Tay (62:15)

It.

Kennedy (62:15)

We need to stop putting so much pressure. Like, I have friends that, like, have a couple, like, a good date, and they're like, no. And he won't text me back, and I'm in love. And I'm like, I don't think. Because if he felt that way, he'd be texting you too.

Tay (62:24)

Yeah, for sure.

Co-host (62:26)

Oh, what's your take on texting roles? Who should text first and how soon?

Kennedy (62:30)

Oh, my God. I don't even know. I feel like, me, I'm so bad with my phone in general. Like, I Loki, a man needs to be blowing me up. Like, a man needs to blow me up low key. Like, my boyfriend would, like, call me randomly at like 2pm and be like.

Co-host (62:41)

Want to go for a walk?

Kennedy (62:42)

I was like, this is so random. Like, why are you? Why are you. He would FaceTime and, like, I call it, say cold call. He'd cold call me all the time. And I'd be like, like, what are you doing? Like, leave Me alone. But I actually. That's, like, why I feel like we hung out so much, because he was, like, pushing the. The going out. Like, I think if you really want to see someone, though, like, there's no shame in.

Tay (62:57)

Yeah.

Kennedy (62:58)

Texting someone. I feel like it's all, like, an emotional thing. Like, it's. It's so up to you. And I truly believe, like, if it's meant to be.

Co-host (63:03)

Yeah.

Kennedy (63:04)

It'll be like, there's really no rules. When it's the right person there. There aren't really rules.

Co-host (63:08)

Yeah. Yeah.

Kennedy (63:09)

But if you're blowing him up all the time and he's not texting you back, it's like, okay, maybe we need to, like.

Tay (63:12)

Yeah, I think. I think you can. I think you can text first and, like, show interest, because I definitely, like, sometimes my girlfriend's like, the guy will text them after a date, and they'll wait, like, 24 hours to respond. I'm like, if you enjoyed it and.

Co-host (63:25)

You want to go again, just text him.

Kennedy (63:26)

Shouldn't. Yeah. No. 1. You shouldn't be thinking about it that deeply and. Yeah.

Tay (63:29)

Yeah, no. So I think you can text, but then if you're, like, texting and then, like, they're not putting in effort, then.

Co-host (63:34)

You need to put the same.

Tay (63:36)

Yeah. Yeah.

Kennedy (63:38)

I think it's about balancing it out and being like, okay, like, if he's not texting me back, do you really think he's that. No, he's not. So I need to stop letting him take up and, too. When you're keeping space for people, like, you'll never find someone. I feel like I have friends that, like, there's, like, these guys that they didn't even, like, date or they actually only met a couple of times, but they, like, like, save space for them in their minds. And I'm like, guys, we need to stop. This guy's not saving space for you, and you're not gonna. They're like, well, I just never met. I just don't think I'll, like, meet anybody like him again. I'm like, I promise you you will.

Co-host (64:01)

Yeah.

Kennedy (64:01)

When you stop holding space for him. Yeah.

Tay (64:04)

No, it's so true.

Co-host (64:06)

What's the worst date you've ever been on?

Kennedy (64:08)

Oh, my God. I always feel so bad, but it's always the same answer. I went on a date with this guy, and it was, like, through a mutual friend, and he was cool, but it would. He still, like, whenever I would, like, ever be single, like, he always would still like me again on dating apps after the fact like, after this date, I'm like, I don't have to tell him this. He' worst actual date that I've ever been on. And he knows it. At this point, like, it's definitely. He's gotten it back to him that this has been the worst date. So I'm sorry, but he just, like, I'm. To me, I can talk to a wall, so if I'm having a hard time speaking to you, it's bad. And I remember, like, all of his friends, he's like. I was told he's, like, such a goofy guy and all this and that. And I think. I think that's true. I think sometimes, just like, maybe you want a date, and either you're nervous or you're this or that, it's hard for you to really tap into being yourself. But I remember I'd be like, oh, like, so, like. Like, you know, did you play sports in high school? If you're asking about high school, that's when you know it's bad. It's like, I. I've had to ask you about high school. We're struggling, and I. Look, I would, like, be like, oh, did you play? And he'd be like, baseball. I'm like, oh, okay, well, this is. Okay, I'll go myself. Like, this is really awkward. So I think, like, if I can't have a conversation. And that was one date where I was like, oh, my God. And then we both had mutual friends, like, meeting up at a bar, and my friends had met us and his friends had met us out, and then it was just. We just, like, split up. There was no, like, end to that date. It was just kind of like, oh, I'm gonna go say hi to my friends over here. And he was over here with his friends. And then that. That was it.

Co-host (65:20)

Yeah.

Kennedy (65:21)

That was the end of that.

Co-host (65:21)

Yeah.

Tay (65:22)

Oh, my gosh.

Kennedy (65:23)

What about you? Do you remember a bad date you had, actually, with my husband? There was no.

Tay (65:28)

Well, honestly, the example I'm gonna give is with him, but.

Co-host (65:31)

Well, I mean, I was 20 when we met.

Kennedy (65:33)

Okay. Yeah.

Tay (65:34)

So I hadn't really, like, the guy. I dated a guy before him for almost two years. So, like, there wasn't really, like, a.

Kennedy (65:39)

Lot of dating that actually.

Tay (65:40)

Yeah, yeah, there wasn't much, like, dates.

Kennedy (65:42)

That occurred, but I was a serial dater, so. Baby, I got mine. I got my dates in. Yeah, I've done enough dates for a lifetime.

Tay (65:48)

I think you did it for both of us. No, but our. Like, our. One of our worst stage, which is obviously Just a fun memory now is. I think it was like our six month dating anniversary, whatever you want to call it. We had gone to this sushi restaurant that was like supposed to be like.

Co-host (66:06)

This hidden gem hole in the wall.

Tay (66:08)

And it was disgusting. Like, it was so bad. And so we were literally taking bites of food, putting it into our napkin.

Kennedy (66:17)

Oh, God.

Tay (66:18)

And we took turns going to the bathroom and flushing down the toilet.

Kennedy (66:21)

Oh, my God.

Tay (66:22)

Like literally both. And they were like, is it good?

Kennedy (66:24)

We were like, it's actually so. Yeah. Because I'm like, I can't. I can't speak up, like in that situation because I just feel so bad.

Tay (66:29)

That I'm like, neither one of us are like that. And my husband especially is. He's just so nice.

Co-host (66:33)

He.

Tay (66:34)

He would never. And I could never because I'm not confrontational. So we both were just really out of luck in that scenario. So we both went to the bathroom multiple times. It was like one of those preset menus. So like, oh, there wasn't anything. Like, I couldn't. I. There was nothing I can do. And he was still kind of newer to sushi. Yeah, I had like sushi, but he was still kind of figuring it out.

Kennedy (66:52)

He's figuring out what he does not. Like, in that moment. He was figuring a lot of what he doesn't like. Yeah.

Tay (66:56)

We were both nauseous and we're like, okay, so we're just gonna. We literally did each made like two bathroom trips. And like, I think I threw my napkin away in there once and I was like, can I get a new napkin? I dropped it. And then like, got a new one. Yep. And then we went and got Mexican food and then it was great.

Kennedy (67:11)

At least it had a happy ending.

Tay (67:12)

Yeah.

Co-host (67:12)

No.

Kennedy (67:13)

One time me and my boyfriend went on a. It was like right before we started date. It was actually way before we started dating. It was. So when he was like trying to, I feel like, court me back in the beginning days and he has asked me to go paddleboarding and I was like, just like, not my vibe. Like, I don't mind a paddle boarding situation, but like, at this point, I'm like, it was a crappy day outside. It was like a Saturday morning. It was with all of his friends and at this point, like, his friends that were visiting and their parents. And I was just like, whoa. Like, this is a lot like, I don't know any of these people. They're all visiting from out of town went on this dang paddle boarding day. And everyone just kept like, he kept Making. I think he, like, thought it was, like, funny to, like. I think sometimes boys find humor in, like, with people. And I was just, like, not feeling it especially. Cause I'm like, I don't know any of your friends like this. I don't know their parents like this.

Tay (67:51)

Yeah.

Kennedy (67:51)

And he kept on just, like, messing with me, making jokes about me not being athletic. And we were paddleboarding, and then I just, like, started going back. I was like, I'm leaving. And he was like, where are you going? And I kept running. I just, like, act like I couldn't hear him. And I was like, paddle boarding away. And then finally he caught up to me and was like, where are you going? I was like, oh, I'm leaving. Like, this is not fun. Okay. It's raining outside. I don't know anybody here. I keep on getting bullied for not being athletic. And he learned, I think, quickly on, like, that was too far. I'm done bullying her. She actually does not react well to being bullied, especially in front of people.

Tay (68:17)

Oh, my God. Gosh, that's funny. Okay, last question I have just for you outside of this tea time with Tay is I'd love to know what you're most proud of yourself for, because I feel like you've probably. What I've learned from you today is I feel like over the past 5ish years, like, you've been through a lot of, like, growth and change and.

Kennedy (68:37)

Yeah.

Tay (68:37)

Adjusting and new life. So I'd love to know, like, what.

Co-host (68:39)

You'Re most proud of yourself for.

Kennedy (68:41)

I think for me, I think just knowing where I came from and seeing where I am now was, like, the biggest thing, you know? Like, I feel like it's so when you're, you know, in a small town and you see everybody kind of doing the same thing, and it's just like a very. Everyone's doing the same thing, and you don't really realize, I think, what all can be out there in the world. And I think now that I have this experience and I can, like, look back at a lot of the stuff that I've accomplished, it's kind of crazy. I even managed to get as far as I have.

Co-host (69:08)

Yeah.

Kennedy (69:09)

And I think just overall, whether even, like, moving like that is such a big, like, so many people, I feel like where I grew up, like, don't get the chance to move. And it's not even necessarily that I think, like, people can't move. It's just that life is just a certain way, you know, when you grow up, it's Just very comfortable, and there's nothing wrong with that. But I think that putting myself in situations that has made me uncomfortable, I'm very proud of that because I think that's kind of abnormal from. From where I'm.

Tay (69:32)

Where.

Kennedy (69:33)

Where I came from. So just doing that and not following what was easy. I think at times, you know, it would have been the easy decision just to, like, go to college and do what probably my parents wanted me to do. And I'm happy that at such a young age, I'm proud of myself to be like, no. Like, I know this is what I want to do, and this is worth it for me, and I'm going to try it out. And I think there's just been so many situations along the way in the last couple of years that people have been like, well, how did you know? How did you know? And I think people always expect there to be like, your big moment happens, and everything just hits you at once. And it's like, now I know. And it's never like that. At least for me, it was never like that. It's just kind of like. Like you have to tell yourself you're okay with failing. And I think I went through a lot of phases over the last couple of years of being okay with failing, and sometimes I do, and then sometimes you don't, and you move on, and either way, you grow from it. And I think I'm just really impressed with my resilience over, like, the last couple of years.

Tay (70:28)

I love that.

Kennedy (70:29)

Thank you.

Tay (70:29)

Well, thanks for joining me today. Thank you so much for accepting. I feel like we could have literally chatted for, like, a long time. I had talk.

Kennedy (70:36)

I can't talk, girl.

Tay (70:37)

So it.

Kennedy (70:58)

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