Podcast Summary: The Squeeze
Episode: “Kendall Toole: Owning Her Story”
Date: December 3, 2025
Host: Taylor Lautner
Guest: Kendall Toole
Overview
In this deeply candid episode, Taylor Lautner welcomes fitness instructor, mental health advocate, and former Peloton star Kendall Toole. The conversation centers on Kendall’s journey through perfectionism, mental health struggles—including a pivotal moment when she nearly ended her life—and her passion for using fitness and vulnerability to help others. The hour is a heartfelt exploration of healing, self-compassion, and the importance of open mental health dialogue.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Kendall’s Mental Health Story and Suicide Survival
- The Pivotal Moment
- Kendall opens the episode by reflecting on being seconds from ending her life during college at USC. Though she appeared successful on the outside, she felt numb and isolated inside.
“Everything from the surface level was wonderful ... but I was isolating. I wasn’t going out with friends. Biggest thing about that was I felt really numb, like I didn’t feel anything.”
— Kendall Toole [00:08] - She describes a dissociative, out-of-body experience that stopped her:
“I saw my mom’s name and it said 15 missed calls. And I picked up the phone and she’s like, what’s wrong?”
— Kendall Toole [01:00]
- Kendall opens the episode by reflecting on being seconds from ending her life during college at USC. Though she appeared successful on the outside, she felt numb and isolated inside.
- Aftermath & Lingering Emotions
- It took Kendall three years to share what nearly happened with her family, highlighting the shame and loneliness many survivors feel.
2. Early Mental Health Challenges & Perfectionism
- Diagnosed with OCD at age 11, Kendall describes how perfectionism in gymnastics and later, dance, set the stage for anxiety and depression.
“It’s all good, but be better. Good, but point the toe. Good, but extend.”
— Kendall Toole [19:21] - Her OCD manifested in rituals around cleanliness, especially feet, and she still notices these tics resurface during stress.
3. Peloton “Imposter Syndrome” and Career Shifts
- Kendall admits to “faking it” into her cycling role—her first cycling classes were actually audition preps.
“Cody slid into my DMs and said, do you want to audition for Peloton? … I took two soul cycle classes. … Fake it til you become it.”
— Kendall Toole [04:24] - Leaving Peloton was hard and forced her to pause and reevaluate her direction, leading to new ventures and personal growth.
4. Launching NKO Club: Her Mental Health & Fitness App
- Kendall announces her new project, NKO Club (Never Knocked Out Club), combining fitness (cycling, boxing, Pilates), breathwork, journaling, and healthy recipes.
“There’s three key pillars … fitness, mental health side, and then a gratitude journal … I want to inspire you to have fun with it and find, like, good, nice, healthy recipes that taste good.”
— Kendall Toole [16:28]
5. Managing Mental Wellbeing as a Fitness Professional
- The grind of teaching fitness daily brought burnout; movement had to be reimagined for her own mental health.
“The second it becomes a business or a job or an expectation, it’s hard to keep the creative love for it. … I had to fall in love with new types of movement.”
— Kendall Toole [08:42] - Kendall now values being a beginner again (like learning tennis) and gives herself permission not to be perfect.
6. Therapy, Relationships & Family Healing
- The role of therapy was critical in Kendall’s recovery; finding language and courage to discuss her struggles with her parents was a major step.
“I had to get to a point where I even knew how to speak about it, because I think finding the vocabulary around it was really difficult … I didn’t want to admit to myself.”
— Kendall Toole [35:18] - Her father’s mantra, “They can knock you down, but they can never knock you out,” became foundational in her healing and branding.
7. Living with and Healing from Depression and Anxiety
- Kendall describes warning signs for herself (numbness, apathy, isolation), and how she now counters those with therapy, gratitude journaling, walks, breathwork, and connections with loved ones and her dog.
- On relationships: Kendall and the host discuss the challenge and eventual beauty of sharing mental health challenges with significant others, and how vulnerability can deepen trust.
8. Tools & Techniques for Emotional Regulation
- Kendall shares practical techniques, including:
- Nasal breathing: 4-second inhale, 6-second exhale [43:04]
- Solfeggio frequencies and affirmations for calming the mind [46:28]
- Pet therapy with her Cavapoo: “He’s my antenna. … You need to pet me right now.” — [43:58]
- She stresses that progress is ongoing:
“Every time I get a little bit better at it. And I also know that I will go through another season.”
— Kendall Toole [45:28]
Notable Quotes & Moments
-
On Crisis & Hope:
“I promise there’s more. … Even when it’s cloudy and gray and dreary, there is always sun on the other side of that. … Don’t let a bad season or even a bad couple years make you think that your purpose and your life is not of such deep and wonderful value.”
— Kendall Toole [49:27] -
On Starting Over:
“If you just need breath work or you need … there’s breath work that also has some affirmations. … If we can teach people that you can have both extremes—you can be an athlete; you can be aggressive, but you can also hold space for the softer parts of yourself. That is what we need to normalize in health and fitness.”
— Kendall Toole [18:46]
Timestamps for Key Segments
- Kendall’s suicide survival story: [00:08], expanded at [22:21] & [23:59]
- Getting into Peloton/Imposter Syndrome: [04:24]
- Leaving Peloton & growth: [06:02]
- Launching NKO Club app: [16:27]
- Mental health journey from childhood: [19:20]
- Therapy and family conversations: [35:16]
- Signs & responses to relapse: [38:31]
- Grounding routines (therapy, journaling, movement): [40:38], [41:57]
- Breathwork techniques: [43:04]
- Affirmations & solfeggio: [46:28]
- Message to listeners in crisis: [49:27]
Tone & Closing
The tone is warm, deeply vulnerable, and honest—moving easily between laughter, tears, and practical advice. Both Taylor and Kendall highlight the power of community, humor, and living proof that light can be found even after the darkest seasons.
Summary Takeaways
- Healing is nonlinear; the tools you use will change over the years.
- Sharing your struggles can create safe spaces for others and deepen relationships.
- You are not alone—there is always another chapter, and help is available.
- Blend self-compassion with new routines (like breathwork, journaling, novel movement) to manage stress and avoid burnout.
- “They can knock you down, but they can never knock you out.” — a mantra for survival and hope.
For anyone needing support, the episode provides comfort, camaraderie, and actionable tools, all delivered in a raw and relatable conversation.