The Squeeze — "Tay Lautner: Life Lessons and Life Updates"

Host: Tay Lautner
Date: August 20, 2025

Episode Overview

In this unique solo episode, Tay Lautner (not to be confused with her famous husband, but yes—she’s married to that Taylor Lautner) sits down for her first ever true one-on-one with listeners. She dives into recent life updates, reflects openly on her mental health journey, shares honest moments about love, marriage, and personal growth, and brings the audience behind the scenes as she navigates adulthood. Topics range from a pregnancy scare to her thoughts on supporting a partner through tough times, finding new community, routines and ruts, and the importance of therapy. Throughout, Tay’s sincere and conversational style brings comfort and relatability, providing listeners with actionable and heartfelt advice for managing the lemons life brings.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Red Carpet Fun & Pop Culture Hot Takes

[03:00 - 08:20]

• Tay shares her excitement about attending the "The Summer I Turned Pretty" season premiere in New York.
• She describes filming fun content and feeling completely in her element, both on the red carpet and on TikTok.
• Discussion about which team she’s on (Conrad vs Jeremiah), poking fun at her connection to “Team Jacob” via her husband’s Twilight legacy.
• Advocates for keeping internet discourse kind—reminds listeners to differentiate between actors and the fictional characters they play.
  • Quote: “Yes, we can be Team Conrad and boo on Jeremiah all we want, but let’s just remember… let’s not do it to the actual humans. Just a little reminder.” — Tay ([07:55])

Candid Life Update: The Pregnancy Scare

[08:20 - 17:30]

• Tay recounts a recent pregnancy scare, reflecting vulnerably on her emotions and the experience.
• She describes how being late on her period led to anxiety, especially as she juggled podcast taping and her professional life.
• Shares the story of realizing her at-home test was expired and breaking the news to Taylor (her husband), highlighting his supportive and calm reaction:
  • Quote: “I can’t even put into words what that moment... it was such an intimate moment for us to share together. …it really just reminded me to make sure you pick your partner for the hard times, not just the good times.” — Tay ([16:20])
• The scare ends up being a birth control side effect, but the process reaffirms her gratitude for her partnership.

Choosing Your Partner Through the Hard Times

[17:30 - 21:45]

• Tay expands on how challenging moments in relationships reveal why choosing a supportive partner matters.
• She shares another story about facing claustrophobia during an MRI and Taylor being unfailingly present, holding her hand despite physical discomfort.
  • Quote: “He literally… his arm went fully numb, but he did not let go of my hand because he knew how freaking terrified I was being in this machine.” — Tay ([19:35])

Dating, Settling, and Relationship Advice

[25:45 - 31:10]

• Funny story about a friend’s ex who bought a ring pop to try to get her to sleep with him.
• Addresses "settling vs love", emphasizing the challenge of discerning true love from partnered convenience, especially in long-term relationships.
• Offers practical ideas for reigniting connection: change up routines, prioritize date nights, or just try something new together.
  • Quote: “It’s how you get out of those moments that really shows you if you are in love or just together for convenience.” — Tay ([29:50])

Breaking Out of Ruts & Embracing Routine

[31:10 - 36:40]

• Tay discusses the double-edged sword of routines—how they bring comfort but can also lead to feeling stuck.
• Suggests intentionally altering small aspects of daily life to disrupt monotony and reignite energy (e.g., working from a different space, changing morning rituals, trying new activities).
• Highlights the mental health benefits of working out, focusing on gratitude for what the body can do, and reframing exercise as “recess for your mind.”
  • Quote: “When I work out now, I don’t view it as I’m working out to, you know, grow my glutes… I’m working out because it’s like free time for my mind. It’s like recess for a kid.” — Tay ([35:45])

The Power of Therapy & Supporting Your Partner

[36:40 - 44:45]

• Strong advocacy for therapy for everyone, not just during crises.
• Shares how a therapist’s pride ("there is truly no better feeling than your therapist telling you they are proud of you") hits differently than any other praise ([41:40]).
  • Quote: "When your therapist, who literally knows the good, the bad, and the real ugly of your brain, tells you that they are proud of you...it just heals something inside you." — Tay ([41:58])
• Advice for encouraging a reluctant partner to seek therapy: lead with curiosity, support, and love, not pressure or stigma.
  • Quote: “Coming at it in a true way of love and a sense of support and a sense of, ‘hey, I want you to be the best version of yourself you can be’ is actually the best way to go about that.” — Tay ([44:00])

Communication Isn’t the Same as Never Fighting

[44:45 - 50:40]

• Debunks the myth that good communication means no arguments in relationships.
• Shares how she and Taylor have learned to fight more constructively over eight years together: taking time, understanding different argument styles, avoiding digs, and growing intimacy through resolution.
• Suggests steps for improving communication: understand your and your partner’s communication style, create rules of engagement for disagreements, and give one another grace when learning.
  • Quote: “Just because your communication with your partner is good doesn’t mean you don’t fight. I want to make that loud and clear.” — Tay ([45:10])

Self-Compassion: Loving Yourself As You’d Love a Friend

[50:40 - 54:2]

• Discusses the tendency to treat oneself harshly while offering kindness and patience to loved ones.
• Advocates for flipping that script and showing oneself the same empathy and care ("what would you tell your friend?").
  • Quote: “We accept the love we think we deserve—and we are all so worthy of true deep love and respect.” — Tay ([54:00])

Finding Community in a New Place

[54:20 - 56:30]

• Offers practical tips for making friends and finding connection after relocating: try clubs, community events, coffee shop open mics, or any activity that pushes you to meet people.
• Reassures listeners they’re not alone in seeking connection.

Mental Health Summit Announcement

[56:30 - 58:30]

• Tay expresses excitement for The Squeeze’s inaugural Mental Health Summit in LA on September 20th.
• Emphasizes her passion for building community and promises a day of open conversation, impactful speakers, and memorable experiences.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On kindness in fandom:
  “Gavin is not Jeremiah. Gavin plays a character in a show… let’s not do it to the actual humans.” ([07:55])

• On Taylor’s support during her pregnancy scare:
  “He was just… literally being such an amazing support system to me. …I really realized why I chose to spend my life with Taylor.” ([15:55])

• On therapy:
  “There is truly no better feeling than your therapist telling you that they are proud of you.” ([41:40])

• On workouts as mental health:
  “When I work out now… it’s like free time for my mind. It’s like recess for a kid.” ([35:45])

• On arguments in relationships:
  “Just because your communication with your partner is good doesn’t mean you don’t fight. I want to make that loud and clear.” ([45:10])

• On self-love:
  “We accept the love we think we deserve—and we are all so worthy of true deep love and respect.” ([54:00])

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Introduction & Red Carpet Stories: 00:00–08:20
• Pregnancy Scare & Choosing a Partner: 08:20–21:45
• Dating Antics & Relationship Advice: 25:45–31:10
• Routine, Ruts & Self-Care: 31:10–36:40
• Therapy & Mental Health: 36:40–44:45
• Communication in Marriage: 44:45–50:40
• Practicing Self-Compassion: 50:40–54:20
• Building Community: 54:20–56:30
• Mental Health Summit Announcement: 56:30–58:30

Episode Tone & Takeaways

Tay’s warm, vulnerable, and often humorous storytelling creates a welcoming atmosphere where listeners feel seen and supported. Through real anecdotes, pop culture banter, and concrete advice, she encourages openness, compassion (both for partners and oneself), and the pursuit of community—especially through mental health advocacy. Whether sharing a laugh or a tear, she demonstrates that no one is alone in navigating life's squeezes.

Key takeaways:

• Lean on your partner through tough moments—you choose each other for both the good and the hard times.
• Therapy can be a powerful and healing tool for everyone.
• Communication is a skill, not a guarantee of conflict-free love.
• Self-compassion is as crucial as compassion for others.
• Community and connection take vulnerability and a willingness to step outside your comfort zone.
• It’s okay to need support, and it’s okay to be proud of yourself for how far you’ve come.

Next episode: A follow-up deep dive on pop culture, "The Summer I Turned Pretty," and more life updates!

For further information and event tickets, see The Squeeze's website for the Mental Health Summit details.