Podcast Episode Summary: Ep. 371 - "How We Choose Who We Become" with Daria Burke
Podcast Information:
- Title: The Stacks
- Host: Traci Thomas
- Description: The Stacks is your one-stop shop to talk books and reading. Guests join host Traci Thomas for lively discussions about books and their impact on culture, race, politics, and more. Each last Wednesday of the month, Traci and a guest delve deep into a book as part of The Stacks Book Club.
Episode Overview: In Episode 371 of The Stacks, host Traci Thomas interviews Daria Burke, a businesswoman, writer, speaker, and well-being advocate. They explore Burke's memoir, Of My Own Making, discussing themes such as childhood trauma, overcoming poverty in Detroit, survivor's guilt, the interplay between success and capitalism, and the unique perspectives of a Black woman in the trauma literature space.
1. Introduction to Daria Burke and Her Memoir
Traci Thomas begins by introducing Daria Burke and her memoir, Of My Own Making. The book intertwines personal narratives with scientific research on trauma, offering readers an intimate look into Burke's journey from a tumultuous childhood to a healed and successful adulthood.
Notable Quote:
"Success for me looks very much like having a sense of well-being and that feels very much like I feel whole."
— Daria Burke [00:27]
2. Exploring the Core of Of My Own Making
Daria Burke describes her memoir as an exploration of how individuals choose their paths despite inheriting and experiencing trauma. She emphasizes her quest to uncover the "story beneath the story," focusing on healing and personal growth.
Notable Quote:
"I've called it a memoir and an exploration of how we choose who we become."
— Daria Burke [03:05]
3. The Influence of Neuroplasticity
Burke discusses the pivotal role the concept of neuroplasticity played in her understanding of healing from trauma. She explains neuroplasticity as the brain's ability to rewire and adapt, which provided her hope and direction in her healing journey.
Notable Quote:
"Neuroplasticity simply just describes the brain's ability to rewire itself, to adapt, grow, and form new neural connections."
— Daria Burke [04:49]
4. The Journey to Publishing the Memoir
Burke recounts her initial inspiration to write the memoir after reading The Glass Castle. Despite feeling unprepared a decade prior, a serendipitous meeting with a publishing contact in August 2021 catalyzed the process. She navigated the publishing world with support from her agent and editors, leading to the book's eventual release.
Notable Quote:
"I woke up one day and I just knew it was time."
— Daria Burke [06:34]
5. Representation of Black Narratives in Trauma Literature
Burke highlights the scarcity of Black women's memoirs in the trauma literature genre. She draws parallels with authors like Ashley C. Ford but points out the lack of comprehensive, trauma-informed narratives from Black women, emphasizing the need for more diverse stories.
Notable Quote:
"There weren't comps, but they were certainly sources of information that I could look to."
— Daria Burke [12:27]
6. Inclusion of Bessel van der Kolk's Work
The conversation delves into Burke's inclusion of Bessel van der Kolk in her memoir. Despite his controversial standing, Burke appreciates his contributions to understanding trauma's physical manifestations but acknowledges the gaps in his work regarding systemic and racial traumas.
Notable Quote:
"It's uncharitable not to include somebody whose work gave me aha moments."
— Daria Burke [14:32]
7. Defining Success Beyond Capitalism
Burke reflects on her evolving definition of success—from achieving high-status job titles to attaining personal well-being and a sense of wholeness. She contrasts societal measures of success with her internal sense of fulfillment and mastery.
Notable Quote:
"Success for me looks very much like having a sense of well-being... having a life that nobody else needs to understand."
— Daria Burke [22:17]
8. The Interplay of Capitalism, Trauma, and Materialism
The discussion touches on how capitalism intertwines with trauma, influencing behaviors such as the desire to accumulate and the constant pursuit of stability. Burke shares her experiences growing up in extreme poverty and how escaping survival mode reshaped her approach to success and materialism.
Notable Quote:
"When you're in survival mode, you are solving for the very basic need of, do I have a roof over my head?"
— Daria Burke [24:49]
9. Privilege, Trauma, and Healing Access
Burke navigates the complex relationship between privilege and trauma. She acknowledges her current privileges while addressing survivor's guilt and the broader systemic traumas that affect Black communities. Burke emphasizes post-traumatic growth and the resilience inherited from her ancestors.
Notable Quote:
"There is something really important to me that says that blackness is not equal, does not equal struggle."
— Daria Burke [33:48]
10. Therapeutic Journey and Writing the Memoir
Burke shares her challenging experiences with therapy, initially finding it brutal yet essential for her healing. Writing the memoir was not therapeutic per se but a necessary process for making sense of her past and integrating fragmented memories.
Notable Quote:
"I would never fully be able to understand it, and I would never... feel a sense of healing."
— Daria Burke [43:12]
11. Managing Public Perceptions and Personal History
Burke discusses how her professional success contrasts with her difficult upbringing, challenging societal stereotypes about Black women from impoverished backgrounds. She finds satisfaction in defying others' expectations and hopes to inspire others to redefine success on their terms.
Notable Quote:
"I don't believe in imposter syndrome. I don't... question my ability to do the next thing that I want to do."
— Daria Burke [50:53]
12. Writing Routine and Creative Process
Burke outlines her disciplined writing routine, which includes daily journaling and dedicated hours spent at the library. She utilizes various modalities beyond talk therapy, such as EMDR, meditation, and breathwork, to support her creative and healing processes.
Notable Quote:
"I write daily in the form of journaling at a minimum."
— Daria Burke [52:58]
13. Recommended Reads and Literary Conversations
At the episode's conclusion, Burke recommends additional books that resonate with her memoir's themes, including Ashley C. Ford's "Somebody's Daughter" and Andrea Elliott's "Invisible Child". She expresses admiration for these works and their impact on her own writing.
Notable Quote:
"Invisible Child by Andrea Elliott... spoke to me so deeply."
— Daria Burke [56:31]
14. Final Reflections and Book Dedication
Burke expresses a heartfelt desire for her deceased grandmother and literary icon Toni Morrison to read her memoir, reflecting the personal and literary influences that shaped her work. She emphasizes that the book serves as a testament to resilience and healing.
Notable Quote:
"If you could have one person dead or alive read this book, who would it be? My grandma."
— Daria Burke [58:17]
Conclusion: Episode 371 of The Stacks offers an in-depth exploration of Daria Burke's memoir, Of My Own Making. Through candid conversation, Burke shares her journey of overcoming childhood trauma, the influence of scientific concepts like neuroplasticity, and the importance of diverse narratives in trauma literature. The episode underscores themes of resilience, redefining success, and the intricate interplay between personal and systemic traumas.
Additional Information:
- Book Club Pick: Devil in a Blue Dress by Walter Mosley (Discussion on May 28th with Kara Brown)
- Support the Podcast: Visit patreon.com/the stacks and subscribe to the newsletter at substack.com.