Stephen A's Get@Me: Love Advice and Valentine's Day Foolishness. - The Stephen A. Smith Show

Summary

The Stephen A. Smith Show: "Love Advice and Valentine's Day Foolishness"

Release Date: February 15, 2025

In this engaging episode of The Stephen A. Smith Show, host Stephen A. Smith delves deep into the intricacies of love, relationships, and the often humorous pitfalls that accompany Valentine's Day. Smith addresses listener-submitted questions and anecdotes, offering his trademark blend of candid advice, insightful observations, and charismatic delivery. Below is a comprehensive summary of the key discussions, insights, and conclusions from the episode.

1. Greg's Valentine's Day Misadventure

Listener Story: Greg Rosenthal shares a tale of romantic miscalculation on Valentine's Day. Attempting to make an ex-girlfriend jealous, Greg spent over $300 on chocolates, teddy bears, shirts, and candy, only to realize that he doesn't actually have a Valentine. Now, he's left with an excess of Valentine's gifts and seeks Stephen A.'s advice on what to do next.

Stephen A.'s Response: Stephen A. doesn't hold back in his critique of Greg's approach. He emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and learning from mistakes.

"I want you to hold onto that imagery of yourself so you don't repeat the same mistakes twice. If the girl wasn't interested in you, she wasn't interested in you. What the hell made you think going into the same aisle let her witness you buying Valentine's gifts?"
- [02:00]

Smith advises Greg to keep the purchased items as a reminder of what not to do, encouraging him to reflect on his actions to avoid similar pitfalls in the future.

2. Love Life and Shared Interests in Sports

Listener Question: A listener inquires about balancing a love for sports within a relationship, asking whether it's essential for both partners to share the same passion for sports or if one can appreciate it independently.

Stephen A.'s Insight: Smith highlights the power of love in bridging interests. He praises the adaptability of partners who may not initially share the same hobbies but choose to embrace them out of love.

"There are plenty of women that I've dated in my lifetime that weren't necessarily sports lovers, but when we connected, suddenly they love sports a little bit more because they know I loved it."
- [05:15]

He underscores the reciprocal nature of relationships, where understanding and accommodating each other's interests fosters deeper connections. Smith also pays tribute to women's ability to adapt and support their partners' passions, enhancing the relationship's harmony.

3. Peter's Struggle with a Diminished Spark in Marriage

Listener Query: Peter reaches out, expressing concerns that he and his wife, Bonnie, have lost the spark in their marriage. He seeks Stephen A.'s top three strategies to reignite their romantic connection.

Stephen A.'s Advice: Smith offers a multifaceted approach to revitalizing marital intimacy:

Change Venues:

"Anything in a different place, a different location, a different time of the day, a different mood. All of that contributes to ambiance."
- [07:45]

By altering the environment, couples can break the monotony and introduce freshness into their interactions.
Elevate Desire:

"You have to do whatever works for her. That touches on elevating her desire for you. You can't be blah."
- [08:10]

Engaging actively and showing genuine interest in pleasing one's partner can reignite attraction and intimacy.
Introduce Healthy Tension:

"Sometimes you got to spice things up. Sometimes a bit of contention does."
- [08:30]

A touch of drama or playful tension can rekindle excitement, preventing the relationship from becoming too complacent.

Additionally, Smith advises giving each other space to avoid suffocation while maintaining a healthy level of connection.

4. The Secret to a Successful and Long Marriage

Discussion: A listener poses the timeless question: What is the secret to maintaining a successful and enduring marriage?

Stephen A.'s Philosophy: Smith emphasizes the importance of profound mutual understanding and attentiveness between partners.

"Mastering your significant other. Anybody could flow when things are going well, when hard times arrive. What are you made of?"
- [09:00]

He outlines several key components:

Deep Understanding: Knowing your partner's desires, thoughts, and needs without them having to voice them explicitly.
Unspoken Support: Performing acts of kindness and support without being prompted, such as preparing a preferred meal or providing comfort during stressful times.

"One of the greatest gifts a woman can give to her man is finishing stuff that he started without him pushing for her to do so."
- [09:30]
Creating Peace: Building a relationship grounded in mutual respect and tranquility, which outweighs temporary excitements or dramas.

"When you go home to somebody that you know and that knows you, the level of peace eclipses anything else somebody could throw in your direction."
- [10:00]

Smith concludes that while occasional drama can add spice, the foundation of peace and mutual understanding is paramount for a lasting marriage.

5. Paul Andrew's Valentine's Day Dilemma After the Eagles Parade

Listener Situation: Paul Andrew finds himself in a predicament after consuming 10 to 15 beers at the Eagles Super Bowl parade. With a Valentine's Day dinner upcoming, he's concerned about how to present himself without showing signs of intoxication.

Stephen A.'s Guidance: Smith provides practical steps to mitigate the effects of excessive drinking:

Hydration and Recovery:

"Drink a lot of water, drink some coffee. Try to take a little nap before you go out."
- [11:00]
Personal Clean-Up: Ensuring physical signs of intoxication are minimized by possibly inducing vomiting, taking a shower, and thoroughly brushing teeth to eliminate alcohol breath.
Strategic Planning: If necessary, delaying the dinner reservation and attributing lateness to external factors, such as restaurant issues.

"Whatever you do, don't show up for a Valentine's Day dinner drunk and hungover."
- [11:30]

Smith underscores the importance of prioritizing personal relationships over temporary pleasures, reminding Paul:

"Don't put the Eagles or any sports team before your woman."
- [12:00]

Conclusion

In this episode, Stephen A. Smith offers a blend of humor, candidness, and heartfelt advice on navigating the complexities of love and relationships, especially around the significant occasion of Valentine's Day. From reflecting on romantic missteps to fostering deeper connections through mutual understanding and support, Smith's insights aim to guide listeners toward healthier and more fulfilling personal lives.

Whether you're navigating the highs and lows of a long-term relationship or seeking to spark new flames, Stephen A. provides relatable and actionable advice to help you on your journey.

Transcript

A (0:00)

Are you still quoting 30 year old movies? Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days? Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted? If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past. Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide, and every time you make a purchase with your card, you automatically earn cash back. Welcome to the now it pays to Discover. Learn more@discover.com credit card based on the February 2024 Nielsen report. What's up everyone? It's Greg Rosenthal and I'm teaming up with the King of Spring, Daniel Jeremiah. He requires me to say that we're going to be bringing you 40s and free agents, the only podcast you'll need this NFL draft season. From DJs mock drafts to my top 101, free agents will have it covered for you with all new episodes every Thursday keeping you up to date as we head to the NFL Draft. Listen to 40s and free agents starting on March 6th on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

B (1:02)

Now let's take a look at some of your tweets and videos before I get on out of here for the day. First tweet from Greg. What is that? 1-667-693-5540 hey Stephen A. It's me, Greg. I was at Target last night and this girl that rejected me a few months ago was in the Valentine's aisle. So I went in there too and bought a ton of valentine stuff, over $300 worth to try to make her jealous when she finds out I'm treating my valentine like that. The reality is I don't actually have a Valentine and now I'm stuck with $300 of chocolate teddy bears, shirts and candy and not sure what to do with it. Please, any tips you would have would be greatly appreciated. I want you to hold on to that chocolate. I want you to keep the chocolates, the teddy bears, and everything else that you bought for the $300. And I want you to spend the next few weeks, Greg, looking at it so you can look in your in the mirror and see what a damn fool you are. I want you to hold onto that imagery of yourself so you don't repeat the same mistakes twice. If the girl wasn't interested in you, she wasn't interested in you. What the hell made you think going into the same aisle let her witness you buying Valentine's gifts, sitting up there saying, all right, who's treating him that. Who's he treating that way? Who told you she don't have a man in her life that's treating her that way. You don't get forward looking backwards. So keep the chocolates and the teddy bears and all of that stuff and look at it. Let it serve as a reminder of what not the hell to do. So you'll be all right moving forward. Next up, what you got for me? My question is, so your love life, what is like in the bedroom talking about sports? Does your mate love sports as much as you do or just, okay, British? Well, it's a combination of both. It's amazing, the power of love. See, when you're loved, you'd be surprised how interested people become in things surrounding you just because they know you're interested in it. There are plenty of women that I've dated in my lifetime that weren't necessarily sports lovers, but when we connected, suddenly they love sports a little bit more because they know I loved it. And usually, believe it or not, that's one of the gifted, gifted things about ladies that goes underappreciated. Y'all are much more better and much less selfish than we are when it comes to stuff like that. Your man love football, you learn to love football. Your man love basketball, you learn a little bit of basketball. My mother, God rest her soul, no matter what issues I had with my dad, I couldn't deny the profound love she had for him. Because my mother knew nothing about sports. Her son is the face of ESPN and she was like eps and whatever it is, I don't know what that is in her West Indian accent. She knew nothing about the sport, about sports, but she knew what a no hitter was. She knew what a strikeout was. She knew what a home run was. She knew what a stolen base was. She knew a lot about the New York Yankees for one reason and one reason only. My daddy. Because she loved my father so much that she learned enough about baseball to be able to sit and watch the games and enjoy them with him because she knew he was going to watch those games. That's really what it's all about. So it's not about choosing one or the other or finding somebody. He's equally yoked when it comes to loving sports as much as you do. When they love you, they learn to love the things that you love, at least to some small degree. And that's what makes women so special. A lot of times dudes don't make those adjustments. Women do it all the time. So, yeah, the answer your question is what it is. Of course. You know, I have somebody in my Life that loves sports. But it's a testament to her, not me, because she learned to love what I love. That's what it's all about. Let me see the next tweet. What we got? Seven, right? Hey, Stephen. A Peter. Me and my wife Bonnie lost our spark recently. Can you please give me your top three ways to spice things up again? That's a loaded question, man. You didn't give me enough details, so I'm going to have to assume if you lost spark. I'm assuming you mean in the bedroom. Different venues. Anything to avoid the same old, same old matters. You'll find that you could be doing the same thing with a woman, but it's in a different place, a different location, a different time of the day, a different mood. All of that contributes to ambiance, number one. Number two, you have to do whatever. It works for her. That touches on elevating her desire for you. You can't be blah. People don't realize this enough, but one of the reasons why monotony contributes to stuff being stale is because this ain't the days of Mork and Mindy, that show that was on in the 80s or something. This is real life in the real world. And the more stale things are, the more you feel like you've aged, the more you feel like a step has been lost. Like the spray, the spry on your step is gone. Nobody wants to feel that way. Sometimes people are feeling that way through no fault of their respective partner, but nevertheless, they have to embrace it as such because that's the person in front of their face. And when you're going through those kind of things, those are the things you got to pay attention to. Those are the things that matter. It's very, very important that you understand that. And you want to avoid just being ordinary. Sometimes you got to shake things up. And by the way, I'm going to throw a little secret out there, especially if somebody loves you. There's nothing wrong with being a headache from time to time, because the reality is when things are peaceful and tranquil and there's never any kind of drama whatsoever, that gets old too, because that's a license for people to take advantage of you. Sometimes you got to spice things up. Sometimes a bit of contention does. But you know, you know how they say the best part of breaking up is making up? Sometimes that that works. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Too much absence makes the heart wander. But absence can make the heart grow fonder. As long as there's not too much absence. Don't be in each other's face all the time. Don't suffocate one another. Give somebody their space. Let them miss you a little bit. Those things work too. Next up, what you got for me?