Transcript
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The following program is a podcast ONE.com production he started in a small town in Texas, worked his ass off to become one of the most famous wrestlers of all time.
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We're gonna take care of business tonight. And that's the bottom line.
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And now he's dominating the world of On Demand audio. And he's doing it for the working man.
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This is a damn good outlet for me to spew the off my brain.
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This is the Steve Austin Show. Unleash.
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All right everybody. Welcome to Steve Austin Show. I'm coming to you from the mean streets of Los Angeles, California. Today I am sitting here at my office in 316 Gimmick street and I am looking at a picture of a bicycle on my iPhone. I posted this picture on my Twitter account. SteveAustin BSR. A moment of silence for this young bicycle. That's enough silence. By God, this bicycle had a family, damn it. What happened was some poor human being had been riding this bicycle as their means of transportation. I don't know if they had a car, I don't know if they had a motorcycle as well, or just this bike to depend on to make their way and try to make a living here in Los Angeles, California. And so what they did was park it outside of a place that I frequent very often. They put a nice lock on a signpost, allegedly. Supposedly you would think the bicycle would be safe from harm, but no, no. Some sorry ass low life motherfucking thief came over to this bicycle which was locked up. And you can see in the picture, they stole both wheels, they stole the handlebars, they stole the seat, they stole the bicycle chain. I'm surprised they left the goddamn pedals on this Humbus, to be quite honest with you. If there's one thing in life that I cannot stand, it's a motherfucking thief. Now I don't know who own this bicycle, but they probably using this thing to run their errands, go back and forth to work, try to pay their bills and then some low life thief who wants to do nothing but shum off of a motherfucker that works hard and they steal all this shit off their bike. I've walked by this location several days in a row. Now the bicycle is still changing the signpost. I don't know if the owner came back and was so goddamn broken hearted they just said fuck it, they just left the bicycle there. Or will you know the traffic tickets, person that drives around in that little Prius giving tickets to all the cars that are parked in the wrong places, are they Gonna put a parking ticket on this bicycle for being here so damn long. Or what's left of this bicycle. Folks, when I tell you when I'm coming to folks, every time I tell you I'm coming to you from the main streets of Los Angeles, California. I'm talking about the main streets of Los Angeles, California. You know, back in the day when you grew up in Edna, Texas, hell, even when we was living in Victoria, Texas, you could go to a damn store, you go to a playground, you could just pull your bike up, put it in a bike rack and it would be there when you got back. Just because that's the way it was back then. Now, shit, I'm 51 years old. Maybe I'm completely out of touch. And maybe that's just the fact that this is Los Angeles, California, and then the whole population and in the whole area of Los Angeles, I guess there's about 14 million people in and around this city. Maybe if you went back down to Edna and you just parked a bicycle on side the damn road or at a playground, it might get stolen. But if it did get stolen, it might take a week or two to get stolen, if it got stolen at all. But here in Los Angeles, when my wife used to ride her bike around, she always locked that thing up. And I remember when I first came down here to Los Angeles and I got a bike out in my storage unit over there, I built me a mountain bike and it's all badass and tricked out and man, we would go riding every now and then. I didn't ride no mountains on it, we just rode around the neighborhood. And every time, man, my wife, the chain she had wrapped around the frame of her bike for when we parked the son bitches was heavier than both bikes combined. Because my wife was special education teacher for 20 years, she had two or three of her bicycles stolen. So she knew that when you lock a bike up, you put the biggest, baddest lock or chain on that some bitch that you can have. One time. You know how it is when you see your bike or something that you own and you know is yours. Or one time she saw this person, her bike has just got jacked and she saw her bike going right down the street and it had all the markings, it was just, it was her bike, she goes up to the purchase, she says, where did you get that bike? And the person said, oh, I bought it so and so, because no, no, no, that's my bike. And I said, oh no. A big argument ensued. Anyway, my wife didn't get her bike back. But she learned a cold, hard lesson after getting two bikes jacked. You got to chain your shit up in Los Angeles. So anyway, hell, I started podcast. I was just gonna sit there and shoot the breeze sending that little picture out on Twitter. Got off on a bicycle ramp. But if, like I said, one thing I can't stand is a low ass, low end, sorry ass thief. I've had a couple of things stolen from me. Last thing happened to me, somebody keyed one of my cars out there in front of my damn house. Now, why would you walk by someone's vehicle and scratch up their goddamn vehicle with a key? It just don't make sense to me. Why would you do that? What kind of satisfaction can you get from just defacing and scratching the fuck out of someone else's ride? I don't get it. Because I've never been possessed to grab key and start scratching up someone's vehicle. Even if I didn't like them, I wouldn't do that to their vehicle. Go punch them in the face. But you ain't got to go scratch a goddamn vehicle. God damn, shit's going crazy. Hey, man, before I get into today's podcast and a bunch of other bullshit, I had a question. A couple of questions come in on the email here, and it said, hey, Steve, when you say on a podcast, there ain't no way, no way, he says, is that a Beaufort justice reference? Yep, that's straight from Jackie Gleason. That's where I got that from. Second question from Tim in West Virginia says, why don't you and Ted Valor361 use kerosene to light fires instead of gas? It's a bit safer. Well, Tim, to your point, kerosene is safer. Diesel, probably along the same lines as kerosene, I guess. But out there where we're at, we just, like in West Virginia. I'm sure y' all use a lot of kerosene for maybe fires and stuff, but we use diesel because that's what our tractors take and gasoline because that's what my Broncos and my Kawasaki mules take. So we really don't deal. I don't know a whole lot of people in Texas that use kerosene. I. I could be wrong. There's some, maybe some rural areas that I don't know about. But everybody out there in South Texas that I know, we just use diesel fuel and we use gas, and that's how we do it. That's how we roll. But I'll tell you what, you got to be Careful of that shit if you're trying to light a fire. I had one other person write into the questions@steveaussonshow.com and they said, hey, Steve, this is not a question. I wanted to thank you for, of all things, helping me to quit swearing. What? You're probably scratching your ball noggin, wondering, what in a flying flip is this some buck talking about me Stone cold Steve Austin have helped your ass quit swearing? Well, yes, indeed you have, sir, because I downloaded two cans of audio whoop ass every week, and I make that noise out loud every time you say it too. I've gotten familiar with the creative and very funny expressions you came up with to avoid swearing. It's like swearing, but without the swearing part. I tell you, I've been wanting to quit swearing as a personal choice for years, but it's a difficult thing to do. Thanks to all the great replacements for swear words. I hear you say all the time, like some buck fly and flip up in this mug and all that other great stuff. I now enable to not swear. Thanks again for helping a big fan in the unlikeliest of ways possible. Catch your ass down the road, Steve. And he writes, ass is not a swear word. They say it on tv, damn it.
