Transcript
Steve Austin (0:00)
He started in a small town in.
Michael O'Hearn (0:02)
Texas, worked his ass off to become.
Steve Austin (0:06)
One of the most famous wrestlers of all time.
Michael O'Hearn (0:09)
We're gonna take care of business tonight. And that's the bottom line.
Steve Austin (0:13)
And now he's dominating the world of On Demand Audio and he's doing it.
Michael O'Hearn (0:18)
For the working man. This is a damn good outlet for me to spew the bullshit off my brain.
Steve Austin (0:24)
This is the Steve Austin Show. Unleash. Unleash.
Michael O'Hearn (0:35)
All right, everybody. Welcome to Steve Austin Show. I'm coming to you from the mean streets of Los Angeles, California. Today I'm sitting here in my office here at 316 Gimmick Street. It has been a busy morning for Steve Austin. Tell you what happened. Got a call a couple weeks ago by some cats, wanted to pitch me a project and I said, hey man, that sounds kind of interesting. Why don't we go ahead and set up the meeting? So the meeting was going to be set down in Beverly hills in the 90210 district. I get into my Range Rover. I didn't want to take my Ford Bronco to this meeting, want to look like a hot shot. So I drive on down to Beverly Hills and here's the thing. I'm represented by United Talent Agency, uta. UTA represents some of the biggest stars in all of entertainment. And of course they're lucky to also represent a global icon and a national treasurer such as myself, Steve Austin. So anyway, back to the meeting. I go in looking like a superstar. I valet my car, the dude gives me the ticket and I walk out into the offices and go up to the young lady who's running the front desk and say, hey man, looking for my guy, got a meeting here. And she calls my agent and I'm waiting for him to come down and there's two guys there in the lobby and that's the two guys that I'm meeting with. So they go ahead and amble over and introduce themselves to me. Now I notice that when I walk in everybody's looking at me kind of funny. Partially probably because the way I was dressed. UTA is pretty much business casual dress or business business. Everybody there tries to look real sharp because you're trying to impress people. Well, it's kind of hard for me to get dressed and wear fancy clothes and put on jeans and stuff because I got this gimp arm. Also makes it kind of impossible for me to tie any shoes. So I showed up in a pair of camouflage green shorts, a dry fit shirt, a pair of those gimmick sandals that you pull the strap over the Back of your heel. My toes. You can't see my toes because it's got a covered toe. But I'm basically wearing sandals, camouflage shorts and dry fit. And I got my arm in a sling because you all know my shoulder is busted. Well, check this out. I figured everybody was kind of looking at me funny when I checked in and probably looking at me like that because I was so out of place. Nobody dresses like I dress. It looked like a piece of white trash just rolled into uta. But it was more than that. I had actually packed into my vehicle an extra dry fit sleeveless shirt that I was going to put on after the meeting and go directly to the gym and have my first workout after my intensive shoulder surgery or as extensive shoulder surgery. Nonetheless, I was going to train my left arm for the first time since I've been operated on. So I was going to take a black dry fit shirt and switch that in to work out in. Well, I didn't know it at the time, but when I threw the shirt in the car, it was on my center console. It had attached itself to the Velcro strap on my arm sling. So I'm walking around like, you know, it's nobody's business. I'm just hanging out doing what I do. I'm dressed like, you know, a damn person that's going to Wally World or something and I got a three foot black shirt hanging from my arm and I don't know it's there so. So everybody's kind of looking at me like what the fuck's this guy got on? And I don't know that I'm dragging a black shirt around. So now here comes my agent. The two dudes come introduce themselves to me that I'm going to meet with and we start walking to a little office where we can have a private conversation. All of a sudden I feel something fall off of my arm and realize that I turn around and it's that God damn black sleeveless shirt that I was going to work out in that it attached itself to the Velcro strap on my arm slings. I felt like a fucking idiot. I'm walking around there dressed like a piece of white trash and on top of that I got a black shirt hanging from my arm sling. And I said, why couldn't somebody give me the heads up and say hey dude, you got your laundry or some kind of shit attached to your arm sling? But no. Anyway, so I pick up the black shirt, I stuff it in my arm sling and I said, damn dudes. I said, can't none of you guys tell me I got a shirt hanging from my fucking sling. Anyway, it was kind of funny at the time. Maybe it was a lame story. The only way I figured it could have been any worse, if somehow, someway, I'd have got a goddamn pair of blue panties tangled up on that motherfucker and they'd have fell on the floor too. And that would have been the shit. Ted Fowler style. Speaking of Ted. TedFowler361. You motherfucker. Hey, I got a story for yalls ass before we get jump into the buy this show and talk to Mike o'. Hearn. Teddy Fowler gets the big idea that he's gonna pull a rib on on Steve Austin, a global icon and a national treasure. And I've been waiting to talk about this on the podcast because I keep on forgetting about it. So anyway, I just get my shoulder cut on and I get this damn card in the mail. And I got a couple neighbors down there in Texas. And so he puts two initials in the upper left hand corner instead of a return address. And so on the COVID there's a beaver and he's got his hand spread and. And it says, be healed. And he puts Steve there. All better. Can I get an amen? And he says, get well soon. God loves you. And so do I. And he writes down my neighbor's name. And I'm like, man, there ain't no way my neighbor could have wrote me that letter because I don't know him that well. I was cool with him saying that God loves me because maybe he does, but when he says, so do I, man, I don't know that guy that well. So I was really perplexed. And then here's the thing. He had called Kristen to let her know that the card was coming in the mail and not to throw it out. So I was like, totally caught off guard. And my wife was in on the rib. And so, man, it was weird because I didn't know what was going to happen. A lot of times Crystal will open up my mail. And so she opened up my mail and she kind of looked at it and her eyes opened up and she took her head back and she just kind of shakes her head and it's that kind of look, you know, like when your wife gives you that look and thinking, oh, fuck, something's fucked up here, man. Something ain't right. I'm in trouble. I didn't fucking do nothing. And it was just the fact that she was playing into the fact that my neighbor says, he loves me. And he wrote it down and then wrote his name. And she just said, weird, and handed it to me and walked off into the kitchen playing it out. She should have won an Oscar for a performance. And I'm shaking my goddamn head and wondering what the fuck's going on. So anyway, this goes on for about six hours. Finally, Ted Fowler calls me on the phone and smartens me up that it was him that pulled the rib on me. Because I was getting so damn irate and wondering what the fuck was going on. Kristen figured I was going to call my neighbor and ask him what the fuck was going on. I mean, I wasn't mad at him for saying that God loves me. And I was just kind of like, dude, that's. You know, it was just kind of weird. So Teddy called me up and I told that. I said, you motherfucker. I said, you had me hook, line, and sinker. I said, what in the wide, wide world of sports possess you to want to pull a rib like that on me? We never ribbed each other at all. I don't think we joke around a lot at the Brooklyn Skull Ranch and. And drinking a lot, but we don't ever rib each other. So that summits came out of fucking nowhere. And Teddy, I know you listen to the podcast, mister. Somehow, some way, you're not going to know when, but I'm going to rib the hell out of you. And I think a lot of people would say, hey, don't smarten him up, Steve. That way you'll catch him by surprise. No, Teddy knows he's got a receipt coming. I think he knew it when he sent that goddamn card. But Teddy, I'm giving you official notice on the Steve Austin podcast, your ass rib me. And you got a return rib. You gotta have a receipt. As we would say in the business coming back, beware. I'm coming for you. Anyway, enough about the shenanigans of my business meeting and Ted Fowler ribbing me. Good rib, Ted. I give you credit on that one. You had to be there to appreciate how good that fucking rib was. But let's get into business because I got Michael Hearn on deck here.