← Strategy Hour | Online Marketing for Business Growth
Strategy Hour | Online Marketing for Business Growth
958: Crop Top Confidence: How to Get Out of a Business Funk
00:42:22
If you’re feeling stuck, stalled, or just tired of feeling like you’re going through the motions, this episode is for you. I went on my own discovery journey to figure out what I needed to do to get out of my own funk.
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- [00:02]
Abigail Pumphrey
Welcome to the Strategy Hour podcast brought to you by Boss Project. I'm your host, Abigail Pumphrey and I'm dedicated to supporting online businesses. I don't believe in one right way to build a business. I'm here to help you build business your way. One that supports not only the life you have, but the life you want. I'm on a personal mission to help you become financially free. I'm taking all the lessons learned as I turned a layoff into a seven figure online business. I'm here to help you prioritize your life every step of the way. Whether you're creating your first digital product, growing an email list, or scaling an already profitable business. Settle in. It's time to Talk strategy.
- [00:44]
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On WhatsApp. No one can see or hear your personal messages. Whether it's a voice call message or sending a password to WhatsApp, it's all just this. So whether you're sharing the streaming password in the family chat or trading those late night voice messages that could basically become a podcast, your personal messages stay between you, your friends and your family. No one else, not even us. WhatsApp message privately with everyone does working.
- [01:13]
Abigail Pumphrey
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- [02:13]
Unknown Speaker
Weak people focus on others weaknesses. Strong people focus on others strengths. Weak people notice others mistakes and laugh. Strong people notice other people's mistakes and learn. I know you know the feeling when you look in the mirror and you stop recognizing yourself. You question who you're becoming. Sometimes you're grieving who you once were. You may not exactly be sad, but you're potentially on the brink of burnout. And you feel it. You've lost your edge. Now. I Don't know the exact business equivalent of it, but it's like feeling frumpy. But in your business, maybe it's somewhere between uninspired or a little bit invisible. It makes me think of my best friend. She is a stylist, and when her clients come to her in a funk, she tells them to go take a shower, get dressed, and put on their makeup. Now, I think the same advice can work in business. When you're feeling off, you have to put it on. You have to get intentional. You have to start asking better questions. You move through it. It's not about finding a new solution or doing something new. It's about coming back to yourself. This episode is part pep talk, part reset strategy. And it's for you. If you're feeling stuck, stalled, or just tired of feeling like you're going through the motions, this is as much for you as it is for me. I have been feeling so off lately, and I couldn't put my finger on it. And I kept trying to fight it, and I kept trying to look for what I was supposed to do, and everyone just kept telling me to be and, like, just, you know, take a day at a time and do the work and do the things that are inspiring me. But I was like, this isn't working. Like, this is driving me absolutely crazy. I have been in this funky for weeks. I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know what I want. I'm not sure where I'm going. I'm feeling lost and confused and frustrated, and everyone was giving me really lame advice. So I went on my own discovery journey to figure out what I needed to do to get out of my own funk. And I tell you what, it was so much simpler than I realized. And if I had had this structure, I think I would have gotten there a lot sooner and felt a lot less frustrated. So I'm here for the tactical, the practical, the actual things you can do about it instead of just waiting to get through whatever season you're in. But I know the feeling that I was feeling is not something that's unique to me. Like, I have seen so many creators, so many small business owners go through the exact same motions. Like, you're still showing up, you're still doing the work, but you feel like your spark is gone. Like, and you also feel like it's not landing. Like, you're posting, but people aren't engaging. You're putting things out in the world, but it just feels like fluff. And it's not even that what you're saying is bad. Your stuff may still be solid, but the vibes are off. I know you know what I'm talking about. You're delivering, but you're not lit up about it. You're wondering, is this still even working? Am I still even working? What do I care about? I get really, really frustrated by the advice of just fake it till you make it. And I get that there is an element of truth to it, because a lot of what led me to. To be where I am today was putting on an act, I suppose, to look like I already knew, to look like I already had it together. And it wasn't necessarily pulling from thin air. I was looking around at me and looking at people ahead of me, and I was like, how are they showing up confidently? How are they talking about themselves in their business? They. How are they making themselves elevated to the point that you trust that person? And looking at those people, I definitely felt like I had a little bit of a guidepost for what that looked like. But very often early in my business, I felt like I was acting like I was performing something, Like I was putting on a bigger smile than I actually had capacity for and grinning through things that weren't fun, making it seem like I knew exactly where I was going next when I was clueless. Over time, I feel like I've been able to differentiate the difference between putting on a mask and, like, pretending to be someone I'm not and really showing up as my best self, because those two things are very different. The goal here is not to pretend. It's to, like, center yourself back in your best state so that it does start to feel real again. So you do start to feel that momentum again. So you do start to feel grounded and centered and on point. I think we always think about it like, the social equivalent of going to a party when you're not feeling in the mood and trying to be personable and fun and bubbly and make some connections. It's super exhausting. Like, and it feels so unnatural sometimes, especially when that's not where you shine. Like, if you're not the kind of person that likes to be the center of attention at a party, doing that can feel completely counterintuitive. So how do we get to a state where we're feeling our best? We're acting in our own, like, best interest. But it's not fake. Like, it is genuine. It is authentic. We have to have a strategy. Like, we can't just wing it. We can't just say, I'm gonna feel good today and put on clothes and do our hair and say, that's enough. While those things do absolutely help, I will say I started the beginning of this year with a challenge to myself. I was like, I am going to to get to the point where I feel completely confident in how I'm showing up because I'm going to force myself to get ready. And I know that sounds goofy, but I had gotten to the point where I was just wearing sweatpants and T shirts, like, every day. I wouldn't brush my hair for days at a time. I started to feel like a slob and like, just. It was not good. It was feeding into my history of depression. I was starting to get anxious about it. It was not great. So the beginning of the year, I was like, I'm going to just challenge myself. It's not about doing my hair and makeup, but I'm going to put on real clothes every single day. Within a matter of a few weeks, I started to feel dramatically better. But there was still a part of me that felt lost. And if you're feeling that way, I think often the reason is because you lost track of your own. Why. Why did you start this business? What is it for? And if you have gotten to the point where you succeeded in whatever that goal was, like, maybe you initially started your business to get to the point that you were completely replacing a corporate salary. Fantastic. You did it. Check mark. But did you re establish why you're still going? Like, what is it for now? And if you haven't, exploring why you show up every day is definitely going to make a big difference in how motivated you are to show up every day. Maybe you get clear on that, but there's still something off. I want you to think next about who your ideal client is. My guess is at some point you've done this exploration. You've come up with, you know, an avatar or even, like a specific name, and someone has a backstory, and this is who you're selling to. I want you to explore if that's still true. Is the person you originally defined as your ideal client still the person you want to continue to work with? My guess is it's probably an evolution of it may be adjacent to where you've been before. But if you're evolving and aging and growing in your own business, the people you're catering to is likely evolving with you. And if you haven't caught up who you're thinking about when you go to create content, it can be really easy to get lost or even downplay. Like, if you're trying to make it too simple because you're trying to talk to someone that's more novice than who's really in your audience, you're doing yourself a disservice and potentially turning away sales. I encourage you to think about what's exciting you. What do you feel good about? How do you want to show up for people? How do you want to serve people? What does that ideal client need? And is your current products or offers positioned to help them? Or do they need something new? Like, the world keeps changing, the world keeps evolving, technology moves so fast, and have you caught up? Or are you just rinsing and repeating something you've been doing for years at a time? If you've lost that spark, I want you to sit back and question what used to excite you? What used to light you up? And is that still the same thing and you've just gotten away from doing it, or is that something new? Like, do you not have a desire to show up in a certain way anymore because time doesn't allow, or you don't enjoy it, or it's started to feel so monotonous that you are just going through the motions? I want you to sit back and think about not how can you fill the space? How can you just keep going and keep showing up? But instead, what do you really want to say? Like, if you could say anything and you weren't worried about reach or engagement, or how many people interacted with your content, or how many people shared it, or if it landed or if it sold anything, what would you want to put out in the world? And a good way to get clear on what that looks like is asking yourself, what do you want to consume more of? What do you wish was out there that you're not seeing? Why can't you be the one to create that? I know when I got to this point in my own journey, when I had a much clearer idea on who I was serving and what I wanted to say, I started to feel a little aimless. Like, okay, I can do that. I can say that. I am willing to put that out there. That sounds fun. That sounds interesting. For what? Like, I was getting a little bit flustered on the how to keep going. I didn't want to just be random for the next five years. I wanted to have structure. I thrive on structure. I thrive on routine. And not to the point where I want everything to be monotonous, but I like having a process in place, a system. I can follow something, something I can come back to. I Kind of call it my own, like, content flywheel of sorts. Like, how do I take one piece of content and turn it into other pieces of content? How is it repurposed? How is it shared differently? I want to know what I need to do every single week to meet my own goals. This isn't about satisfying someone else. It's about having something that feels good for me, something I can come back to and feel reliant on. But I noticed a lot of what I continued to struggle with was the self judgment. Like, why haven't I snapped out of it yet? Why am I still struggling with this? Why am I still smiling when I feel like absolute garbage? Why can't I figure out what I need to say to my therapist to get through this? I was just constantly berating myself. And, you know, the things I've said out loud obviously are very tame, but the things I said to myself were wildly inappropriate. They were so demeaning and they were so harsh and they were so critical of everything I was doing, how I was spending every minute of my day, where I was going, was it even important? Did anyone even care? Like, it was horrible. I was being terrible to myself. And I'm confident that you are probably judging yourself too, or you wouldn't be listening to this podcast. Just this morning I was listening to this doctor that is like the head of the anxiety center at Harvard. I'm probably getting the context wrong, but definitely works at Harvard, definitely studies anxiety. And he was talking about how so often people are judgmental around their own anxiety or even the anxiety of others, and they're constantly just trying to make it go away. And he was talking about how anxiety is a normal human emotion that we all experience. And we should often think of it as normal to experience anxiety in certain situations, because fear is something that's going to help protect us, help going to keep us safe. It's going to help prepare us in a situation, all of that. But when specifically exploring it, instead of judging ourselves for it, we should get curious, like, what is the thing underneath? Why is it kicking up fear? Why is it kicking up potentially shame? Why is it kicking up, like, what are the things that it's bringing up for you and why is that true? The same thing is true in this scenario. You have to move from self judgment to self curiosity. Why are you feeling out of touch? Why are you feeling numb? Why are you feeling lost? Why are you feeling aimless? What's at the root of all of those things? What's underneath all of those things? And I Saw everything, like, click into place kind of all at once. When I was listening to a podcast over on Mel Robbins show and she was interviewing Jay Shetty, which I have some feelings about, but that's besides the point right now. I specifically was trying to understand what was beneath it in my own kind of adventure, so to speak, what was I personally dealing with that I was not willing to address where I needed to get curious. And in her show, she was specifically talking about her own journey around purpose. And specifically that she mentioned that she knows she's feeling off when she starts to see herself being jealous or feeling jealous. And I immediately resonated with that feeling and felt really frustrated and almost embarrassed by it. And I want to get curious why. Now, she did mention something that I think was really poignant. And she said that she never envied someone that had something that she didn't actually want. So, like, the envy had purpose. There was something beyond that. When she envied them, it wasn't because she wanted to seek ill will on that person or she wanted that person to fail or not not do well. She was jealous because they had something that she wanted and she wasn't moving in that direction herself. She wasn't pursuing the thing. Or maybe she was and she just wasn't there yet. And then Jay, like, dropped a bomb that was like, so powerful and so moving and really gave me tools to reassess how I could move through my own funk. And he specifically talked about the difference between weak people and strong people. And he said, weak people focus on others weaknesses. Strong people focus on others strengths. Weak people notice others mistakes and laughs. Strong people notice other people's mistakes and learn. Weak people talk about other people's problems to feel better. Strong people talk about other people's problems to become better. Weak people gossip about others to build fake connections. Strong people express vulnerability to build real ones. And the one that really kicked me is weak people envy people ahead of them, where strong people study people ahead of them. And in all of those cases, people are looking at the exact same situation and simply looking at it differently. And in that moment, I had this, like, visceral reaction that was like, that's the problem. That's what's missing. The reason I started to feel in a funk and I couldn't put a pin on it until this moment was that I had been studying people who I felt were ahead of me, who were performing well, their businesses were growing, they were kind of up and coming like you hadn't necessarily heard of them until the last, last 12 to 24 months, these were new people on the market, right? Or at least new to me. And I watched what they were doing. I looked at how their business was set up. I looked at the kind of offers that they had. I paid attention to how they were showing up online, how they were posting. I wasn't necessarily like reverse engineering any of their funnels. I was just trying to pay attention to why they were resonating with other people. And I started mimicking those same kind of strategies. I wasn't a carbon copy paste. I was paying attention to what was working and was implementing it in my own way, in my own business. And I saw huge success in the last 12 to 18 months as a result of that. But the reason I felt off was it started to feel like I was turning into someone I didn't want to become. It was incredibly reliant on showing receipts of how much money I was making and how well my business was performing. And I've been at this for so long. I was like, why do I have to prove to people that I know how to make money? That should be obvious at this point. I've made multiple seven figures. I've brought in millions of dollars in business. I've gone from dead broke to a millionaire who can retire at 45. Like, what else do I possibly have to prove to people? I didn't want to have to keep showing up in that way because that didn't seem relevant. Like, to me, the whole point, the whole point in business is to develop something that's supportive of you, that's supportive of the life you want to live, that allows you to prioritize what's truly important to you. And if I kept centering money, I felt like that was distracting from the entire point.
- [24:03]
Abigail Pumphrey
Want to learn exactly step by step how to get paid to generate leads in your business? I'm ready to give you the exact steps that help me generate tens of thousands of qualified leads and millions in low ticket digital product sales. I won't just show you what I did, but teach you how you can do it too. I'm talking not just how to create low ticket digital products, but also showing you how to use them strategically to generate leads for your other existing or future offers. I'm sharing it all@bossproject.com jumpstart including exactly how I made $8033 and generated 277 leads my very first month selling digital products. Find out more@bossproject.com jumpstart As a contractor.
- [24:46]
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- [25:16]
Abigail Pumphrey
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- [25:41]
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- [26:11]
Unknown Speaker
Money is a means to an end. Money allows for freedom and I don't want to get to the point where talking about money is taboo. I will continue to be transparent, but I was feeling off because I didn't want to grow in the same way that I saw these people growing. And so I just was kind of regressing into myself and slowing down and being quieter and not showing up as much to the point that I felt lost and confused and didn't know where I was going from here. Well, if the way I get out of this is instead of envying people, I study people. I realize the issue was not that I was feeling the way I was feeling. It was that I had no mentors, I had no direction, I had no one to look up to. I kind of felt like I had reached this pinnacle of my career where I looked around and there wasn't a lot of people like me. And that is an advantage position I realized. But it made me question what does this next chapter actually look like. Like, if I could do anything, what would I want to do? And it had become very clear to me over the last six months that what I want to do more of is write. I love to write. I feel like it's such an incredible medium to get out my thoughts and ideas. But I also feel like it's so much easier to create a refined, targeted message, something that, like, really lands with people. While I love podcasts and can find them so cathartic, they can be such an opportunity to process my own feelings and emotions and move through something. I often find they're a little disjointed, like it's conversational and we go on the path together. But you're kind of seeing, like the messy rough draft. And what I like about writing is it feels like an opportunity for reflection, but also refinement before you put it out into the world. And so if I want to do more writing, I needed new representation. I needed to not be following people in the business industry. I needed to be following people in self help and psychology and authors, people who were centering writing as the primary portion of their career. And I was having a conversation. This is before things, like, clicked into place, when I was still, like, grasping at straws for how to get out of this horrible feeling that I was experiencing. And talking to ChatGPT as one does, fantastic. I wouldn't say replacement for therapy, but a great opportunity to process your thoughts in between sessions. Right. So I was talking to ChatGPT about how I was feeling, and it kind of echoed back to me. The reason I'm stuck is I am currently a leader who writes. And to move into the person I want to become, I have to be a writer who leads. And the way you monetize those things, the way you show up online, the way you, like, put yourself out into the world, those are two vastly different positions. And it, like, really made me realize that I need to make changes now, how all of that will play out and how it will affect, you know, my products and services, kind of yet to be determined. Ultimately, I still want to teach other small businesses. Ultimately, I still want to see them profitable and sustainable and creating flexibility so their business can support them in whatever season they're in. All of that is still true. So my products aren't changing right now, but how I show up right now, that's what needed to shift. So if you were to do your own self exploration and move away from judgment into curiosity, how are you seeing yourself? How are you seeing your business? How Are you viewing your clients? Do you continue to focus on your lack of energy or enthusiasm or vibe? Or do you see an opportunity to shift something instead of spiraling about engagement or momentum or how much money is coming in? I want you to study what's working and how can we pay attention to that because there's always someone winning. It's very easy to, like, look around and say, well, the online business world peaked in 2021. That was when small businesses made the most money they're ever going to make. That's just like, literally not true. The people who stay complacent, that might be true, but the people who continue to evolve and pay attention to technology and continue to put one foot in front of the other, there will always be businesses that are growing in every economy. And our job is to decide where we're showing up, how we're showing up, what we want to say, what the world needs more of. Because you're the only you that exists. You're the only person running this small business unless they have a partner. But you know what I'm saying? So I want to help you do a little reset ritual, okay? I want to help you get re energized and re inspired and back in touch with where you're going. So with this new lens, with this new idea of your why and who you're doing it for and where you're going, revisit your offers and your messaging. Are they reflective of where you are right now and where you want to go? Maybe reconnect with an old client that you loved working with and find out what they need from you. You know, one of the first things I did when all this clicked into place, I was like, if I don't know what people need, I need to talk to people. So I immediately started scheduling calls with my clients purely as investigative research to better understand how they're utilizing my products and services, how they're absorbing everything that the co op has to offer and figuring out what needs to change about the experience. How do I need to alter how I'm showing up or how those things are presented to them? How can I make it easier for people to take advantage of what's there? I scheduled actual calls. I have so many on my calendar already. So for you, who do you need to reconnect with? And maybe you don't have a specific person in mind, but is there someone or a group of people that you can have a conversation with to better understand what's needed? Also, your environment plays a huge role in how you feel. So do you need to reorganize your workspace or reflect on your schedule? Like, how often are you working? For how many hours are you working? Do you have good breaks? Are you feeling inspired? Do you need to take more time for self care like exercise or eating right? What do those tangible things actually look like? And how can you alter your space or your time to give you more white space, like in your brain so that you have the space for more inspiration? Because if you keep cramming your life and your workplace full of things and stuff, obviously that's why you can't get in touch with what you really want. You gotta shake it up. You gotta start consuming different content. Read new books, pay attention to new podcasts, explore people you've never heard of before. Start on a new platform, not necessarily with growth in mind, but just pay attention because there's gonna be completely new people that you've never been exposed to before, and they're gonna be showing up differently than you are. And if you're just used to seeing the same people again and again and again, and your feed has become just a repeat of everyone being alike, you need to get out of your bubble. Ultimately, my goal isn't for you to always be inspired or always know what to say or always know where you're going. My goal is for you to be confident that you have the tools to figure it out and to get out of that funk and to move forward, not necessarily all at once, not even necessarily today, but that you have what you need to keep going. Now, you're probably wondering, why did I put crop top confidence in the title? It's because I too, in addition to not knowing what to say or how to show up and feeling uninspired and lackluster, that frumpy feeling was carrying over into all areas of my life, not just business. And obviously with this goal of continuing to get dressed every day and showing up, I wanted to feel good. And I remember just walking in to a store and seeing this shirt and immediately going, oh my gosh, that is so cute. And then having this visceral feeling like I'm not hot enough to wear, that I am not sexy enough, fit enough, thin enough, whatever, it doesn't matter. And I was like, I don't know. I don't know how I feel about it. I wasn't even gonna try it on. Now, mind you, this is just like a crop workout T shirt. Like, nothing about this shirt is fancy or even ultimately that revealing, but I was just feeling meh about it. And then I put it on, and I was like, who is she? Like, okay, I felt so good. And because I felt good, when I wear that thing, my husband thinks I look good. And, you know, obviously that adds a little spice to our marriage and makes me feel my best. And so you might be coming into all of this and thinking, okay, all that sounds good, and I can do that, and I'm willing to do the exercises and do the work, but I don't know if I'm ever going to feel great. I feel like I'm going to just, like, keep going through the motions. And I just want you to be inspired. That, like, when you find that thing that you're like, ooh, that's cute. Obviously, I'm not talking about a T shirt. What is the thing? You look and you're like, oh, maybe. Maybe I could do that. Maybe I could talk that way. Maybe I could show up that way. Maybe I could post on that platform. Maybe I could. And then you catch yourself going, oh, I don't know. Am I cool enough? Am I smart enough? Am I interesting enough? Whatever. Pause and say, why not me? Why not try? Why not just see what happens? Like, go into this with curiosity, because you very well may come out on the other end with a level of confidence that you didn't even know was possible for yourself. But you're not gonna know unless you put yourself out there in that way, unless you show up and are willing to do the scary things. Because not all of this is easy. Not all of this feels good all the time. But when you push yourself, exciting things happen. You move forward in a new way, with a new light and with new inspiration. I hope you're walking away from this episode feeling like you have tools and strategies and a process you can move through. I hope you feel like you have a new way to look at where you're at and push yourself to try things that maybe feel a little scary, that maybe feel a little outside of your comfort zone. And if this resonated with you, I'm confident you know, someone else who's feeling this same way and who could benefit from this episode. And it would mean so much to me if you would share it with them, because they need this just as much as you do. And we don't need to hoard these strategies. These are meant for everyone. These are meant to move you into a new season. Re, inspired, excited, reinvigorated, energized, ready for what's coming next. So I hope you share it. And I cannot wait to hear how you're feeling. More crop top confident.
- [40:44]
Abigail Pumphrey
Hey, a few quick favors before you leave. I'd love if you'd share today's episode, send it to a friend who needs to hear it and post on social. You can show us where you're listening from, your favorite takeaway or why someone else should listen. Be sure to tag me Abigail says and ossproject so we can share it.
- [41:01]
Unknown Speaker
Okay.
- [41:01]
Abigail Pumphrey
Second favor to get podcast updates and all the behind the scenes news from Boss Project. I'd love if you'd join my VIP list. Just head to bossproject.com signup to make sure I have all your contact details. Really love this show. It would mean so much to me if you'd leave a rating and review. It not only helps more listeners find the show but allows us to bring on quality sponsors so we can keep bringing you this valuable content for free. Thanks so much for listening.
- [41:27]
Unknown Speaker
Until next time.