Strategy Hour | Online Marketing for Business Growth

Episode 985: Stop Chasing & Get More of the Life You Want Today with Ryann Gillen

Host: Abagail Pumphrey
Guest: Ryann Gillen
Release Date: September 2, 2025

Overview

In this powerful and honest conversation, business strategist Abagail Pumphrey sits down with transformational mentor Ryann Gillen to unpack the hidden subconscious beliefs, patterns, and habits that often keep online business owners feeling stuck or chasing the wrong things. Together, they explore how to break free from measuring your worth purely by money, rewire your relationship to success, and start living the life—and running the business—you actually want, right now.

Their discussion touches on:

• Moving beyond hustle culture and achievement addiction
• Uncoupling your self-worth from external markers like money
• Rewriting the “rules” of success for women in business, especially at the “mid-career reinvention” stage
• How to identify what you truly desire (hint: it's not really about the boat or the money!)
• The critical but under-discussed role of energetic and subconscious work, including nervous system regulation
• Tangible practices to integrate more contentment, peace, and impact—starting today

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Ryann’s Path to Self-Development & Women’s Empowerment

[05:09 – 08:15]

• Ryann describes her transition from a 15-year corporate sales career to entrepreneurship in 2019, initially coaching women on traditional sales methods.
• Realized after coaching 200 women that “not everyone gets it” and that pure strategy wasn’t the answer—there were subconscious blocks at play.
• Personal growth forced by entrepreneurship led her to believe “somebody needs to teach women this.”
• Ryann highlights the unique obstacles women face in male-structured business systems and the statistical “midlife awakening” for many women around age 38–42.
• Her mission became: "put more money and more power in the hands of women." [07:00]

Money as a Benchmark—and Why It’s Not Enough

[09:05 – 12:43]

• Ryann and Abagail discuss the conventional view that money determines business success—and why it’s an incomplete measure.
• Ryann's breakthrough: "If that's the only way you’re measuring success, you're always going to feel like crap, because there's always more money to be made." [09:38]
• She describes the shift: Instead of obsessing over money, she began tracking personal commitments, client results, and time spent more intentionally.
• “When I do these things, money will be a byproduct of that. But these things feel so much better…” [10:47]

What Actually Motivates You: Detaching from ‘The Thing’

[15:44 – 18:55]

• Ryann shares her “you don’t want the boat” philosophy: What we really desire are feelings (freedom, connection, fun), not material objects.
• Story about wanting a boat as an emblem of childhood joy, but realizing, “Boat ownership is not sexy…what I want is to pull my kids on a tube and listen to them giggle.” [16:07]
• Emphasizes: "The only reason we ever want anything is because of the way we think it will make us feel." (Abraham Hicks)

The Recipe for Contentment While Striving

[18:55 – 23:23]

• They tackle the struggle of ambition vs. gratitude: How do you continue growing while appreciating what you have?
• Ryann: “One foot in gratitude and one foot in desire…” [20:47]
• "Gratitude is not optional...The path to more is through what we have." [20:40]
• Her aim: not constant happiness, but peace (vs. relentless joy or relentless striving).

Getting Clarity on Desire & Feeling

[23:23 – 27:45]

• For those unsure what they want, Ryann suggests reversing problems: “Most of us stick in what we don't want, but what we don't want, on the other side, is always what we do want.”
• Use small desires (“white space on my calendar”) to uncover the deeper feelings behind your wants (creativity, security, pride).
• "Nobody actually wants money...It’s about the experience and the feeling." [25:20]
• Key practical: to get out of a low state and into creativity, physically change your setting or activity (e.g., go for a walk).

Self-Care as Essential Business Strategy

[30:50 – 34:12]

• Ryann reframes self-care as non-negotiable: “You are the asset. When we take care of assets, they appreciate.” [31:21]
• Activities like walks, breathwork, and rest are as critical to business success as crossing things off Asana.
• “Taking care of the person who’s doing the task is also part of the work. It’s not fluffy...it’s not a time waster.” [31:52]

Nervous System, Energetics, and Subconscious Programming

[42:03 – 47:12]

• Abagail notes: "If you are not a fun person to hang around, if you are exuding I hate this, then it is going to fall apart." [42:48]
• Ryann: You can drive success through suffering, but “it just doesn’t feel good.” At certain levels, energetic and subconscious limitations will stop your results.
• Discuss origins of money blocks or upper limits: upbringing, family patterns, out-earning your circle.
• “If you don't do this work...you will subconsciously sabotage when you hit a certain income level.” [44:03]
• How to rewire: repeat new supportive beliefs, practice gratitude and positive feelings daily, shift focus when stuck ("change the subject").

Integrating These Practices in Daily Life

[47:12 – 53:31]

• Ryann prescribes daily repetition: breathwork, gratitude, reframing, intentional self-talk.
• If you’re stuck in negative beliefs, shift to an area of your life where you can feel the feelings you’re chasing (love, freedom, pride).
• “Sometimes when you get real stuck and you can't get there through the subject, change the subject. Because remember—it's always the feeling.” [49:41]
• Small actions (even a ten-minute walk or micro-break) can help recenter; don't let “all-or-nothing” perfectionism sabotage your efforts.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Ryann Gillen [09:38]: “If that is the only benchmark, if that's the only milestone, if that's the only way you're measuring success, you're always going to feel like crap, because there's always more money to be made.”
• Abigail Pumphrey [20:47]: "I think we have to walk...the balance between gratitude and desire."
• Ryann Gillen [16:07]: “Boat ownership is not sexy. What I want a boat for is because I want to pull my kids around on the tube and listen to them giggle...I can create that in my backyard.”
• Ryann Gillen [25:20]: "Nobody actually wants money...it's about the experience and the feeling."
• Ryann Gillen [31:21]: "You're the asset. When we take care of assets, they appreciate."
• Abigail Pumphrey [42:48]: "If you are not a fun person to hang around, if you are exuding I hate this, then it is going to fall apart."
• Ryann Gillen [44:03]: "If you don't do this work...you will subconsciously sabotage when you hit a certain income level."
• Ryann Gillen [49:41]: “Sometimes when you get real stuck and you can't get there through the subject, change the subject. Because remember—it's always the feeling.”
• Ryann Gillen [31:52]: “Taking care of the person who's doing the task is also part of the work.”

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Ryann’s background & path to personal development: [05:09–08:15]
• Uncoupling money and self-worth: [09:05–12:43]
• “You don’t want the boat” & chasing feelings, not things: [15:44–18:55]
• Contentment vs Ambition: [18:55–23:23]
• Getting clarity, identifying true desires: [23:23–27:45]
• Making self-care non-negotiable business strategy: [30:50–34:12]
• Energetics & subconscious rewiring: [42:03–47:12]
• Implementing daily practices and breaking all-or-nothing thinking: [47:12–53:31]
• Ryann’s resources and where to find her: [50:44–51:52]

Where to Find Ryann Gillen

• Podcast: The Uncensored Self with Ryann Gillen
• TikTok & Instagram: @ryanngillenofficial (Ryann with two Ns)
• Facebook: Ryann Gillen

Tone

Conversational, honest, energizing, with a mix of practical wisdom and “pep talk” inspiration. The conversation is jargon-free but deep, inviting business owners, especially women, to step into new possibilities with both compassion and accountability.

This episode is essential for online business owners feeling stuck in achievement cycles, those craving more meaning—and anyone ready to reclaim a sense of agency, freedom, and genuine joy in both work and life.