Abigail Pumphrey (16:34)
I bet they had doubts and sacrifices that they made and other things that came up for them that they didn't expect. But the difference is they moved towards it. They intentionally made steps. They went in a direction. Do you know what direction you want to go? I think if you don't know what you want, the easiest thing to do is to define what you don't want. What do you not want to do? How do you not want to show up? What do you not want to sell? What do you. What do you not want to do with your time? And then check the antithesis. If you don't want to spend it this way, what's the alternative? Do you want to do that thing or does it feel like it's the only way to do that thing? You might have to reconsider other options, things you maybe haven't even considered at all. I do think you have to spend some time reimagining, envisioning new possibilities, not just an exit strategy. But with that being said, like, sometimes leaving or letting go is still positive. Like you are still moving towards something, even though you're moving away from something. And you just may not have full clarity on what that looks like. All you have to know is that it's the right next step. You don't have to know every step you're going to take. You don't have to know the end destination. You don't have to know if it's even right or wrong. You just have to believe that this step is the one you're supposed to take next and do that and follow where it takes you. It's really easy to want to panic and to want to overanalyze the situation and, and make a decision right now because it feels so urgent. But if you were to slow down, how would you make that decision? From alignment, from clarity. Now, with that being said, clarity does not always come before action. Sometimes you have to dip your toe in. And I think so often we think I'm either doing X or Y. And we put this like all or nothing mentality around it. Like if I make this decision and go this direction, then none of this other stuff can be true. Likely there's some scenario in which you're doing a little bit of this and a little bit of that and a little bit of this. Maybe it is different from what you're doing now, but it is not a major left turn. You're just adding a sprinkling of this in right. And the other stuff is still there, but maybe not as loud or not as often or, you know, different. The way you get there is different, but similar. All of this to say, you can get clear that this is growth or running away or escape, but sometimes the decision is still right to run away. I don't want you to judge yourself for the ultimate decision you're making. I am not here to say that just because one is for positive growth in mind and one is escaping that sometimes escaping isn't necessary. I'm not going to be the woman who sits here and and says, well, sounds like you're running away from that husband of yours, but he's not treating you right. If he's not treating you right and you're unsafe in your own home, by all means, escape. Escape is not automatically a negative thing. It can still be the right decision. We're not here to judge the end goal. We're just trying to understand this isn't about predetermining the direction. Like, if it's good then go this way, and if it's bad, then you must stay in whatever set of circumstances you're in. No, the goal is just to become conscious of why you're choosing something so that you don't repeat cycles that you have no interest in repeating. This is to bring awareness to how you're moving forward. It's not a good or a bad thing, it's just a choice. Choices will always just be choices. And very few choices in life are permanent decisions. There's definitely exceptions to the rule, but most of the things we're talking about here can be reverted back or changed back. Change isn't good or bad. It's just the intention behind it that determines whether this is going to become a growth opportunity or an escape route. I think awareness is potentially the single biggest opportunity for us to have a deeper relationship with ourselves. It's often the relationship that we're ignoring anyway. We can say, oh, I love myself or oh, I think I'm pretty, but are you treating yourself with that respect? I heard something the other day and it's semi unrelated to what we're talking about, but worth mentioning. This person was talking about being in a relationship. And if you had a relationship with a friend or a romantic partner? How would you treat that relationship? How would you communicate in that relationship? How would you surprise and delight that person? How would you date them? You know, even if it's a friend date or a date date, and then knowing all that information, are you dating yourself? Are you saying nice things to yourself? Are you being kind to who you are and what you've been through? Or are you beating yourself up about it? I know I am my worst critic. I would be hard pressed to find someone on the Internet that talks about me worse than me. And I know I'm not the only person in the room that feels that way. So you don't have to have all of the decisions made right now in this second. But I hope this gave you some tools to really slow down and think about what makes the most sense for you and what your next move is and how you're going to step forward. I'm here for you and I cannot wait to see all of this, all the things you evolve into. If this episode did something for you or made a difference, it would mean so much to me if you slowed down and shared it with a friend. I get to keep doing what I'm doing and keep producing this show when this message spreads. So I need your help. I can't do it alone. I appreciate you and I hope you have a great rest of your day.
