Strategy Hour Podcast, Episode 993: Breaking Free From Your Addiction to Cortisol

Host: Abagail Pumphrey, Business Strategist & CEO of Boss Project
Date: October 7, 2025

Episode Overview

In this solo episode, Abagail Pumphrey explores the modern epidemic of “cortisol addiction”—the physiological and psychological dependence on stress. She dissects how our culture glamorizes busyness, reveals the health risks involved, and shares practical steps for entrepreneurs to reclaim calm without sacrificing ambition. With her characteristic warmth and candor, Abagail draws from research, expert opinions, and her personal journey to encourage listeners to break free from the toxic cycle of constant stress.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Understanding Cortisol Addiction (02:03 – 06:17)

• Stress as a Modern Badge of Honor:
  • Modern society equates busyness with success. Abagail cites Harvard-trained psychologist Debbie Sorensen on how “our productivity obsessed culture has made being stressed a badge of honor. Busyness has become equated with success, and the absence of stress becomes stressful in and of itself.” [03:02 – 06:11]
• How Cortisol Hooks Us:
  • Short bursts of cortisol, the primary stress hormone, help us focus and prepare for action.
  • Over time, chronic stress creates a compulsive pattern due to the interaction of cortisol and dopamine, the brain’s reward chemical.
  • Reference to Dr. Anna Lemke’s Dopamine Nation: “Irregular dopamine levels can lead to us becoming desensitized ... we need more stimulation to feel that same effect.” [03:33 – 04:53]

2. The High Cost of Chronic Stress (04:53 – 06:17)

• Health Risks:
  • Chronic stress is linked to anxiety, sleep issues, heart problems, weight gain, and memory loss (per Mayo Clinic and American Psychological Association).
  • Startling statistics: “Nearly 59% of CEOs and executives face high cardiac risk. More than 35% ... already have high blood pressure, myself included.” [04:53 – 06:11]
• It’s Not Just You—It’s Cultural:
  • The glorification of hustle culture is systemic, not just an individual failing.

3. Recognizing the Signs of Cortisol Dependence (06:17 – 08:40)

• Are You a Stress Junkie?

  • Key warning signs from Dr. Sorensen:
    • Avoiding rest and relaxation
    • Constantly checking your phone
    • Saying yes to everything
  • Additional signs:
    • Craving busyness, overcommitting
    • Feeling guilty for rest
    • Self-sabotaging with last-minute pressure (“I work better under pressure”)
    • Trouble sleeping, irritability, inability to slow down
  • “If any of these are resonating, then you might be caught in a stress cycle.” [07:11 – 08:40]

• Reflection Questions:

  • “Do I feel uneasy when life feels too calm? ... Does rest make me feel lazy or restless? Do I thrive in chaos even when it’s exhausting me?” [08:15]

4. Cultural Programming and Psychology (08:41 – 10:51)

• It’s Not (All) Your Fault:
  • “So much of what’s happening ... programmers are even setting up your phone for mass consumption. It is in many ways happening to us.”
• How Stress Becomes Addictive:
  • “Our chronically stressed out brain becomes dependent on these small euphoric hits.” – Integrative neuroscientist Heidi Hanna (quoted) [09:43]
  • The key: gently teach your nervous system that it’s safe to rest.

5. Breaking the Cycle: Practical Steps (10:52 – 16:45)

• Give Yourself Permission for Rest:
  • “You don’t have to earn your rest by completing something.”
• Interrupt the Cortisol Loop:
  • “Try to give yourself even five minutes of stillness ... to relax in between tasks.” [11:32]
• Calm Your Nervous System:
  • Breathing exercises: “Have you ever done box breathing? ... Inhale for four, exhale for four ... think about it as a side of the box.”
  • Gentle stretching, walks in nature, screen-free time—small moments of calm matter.
• Set Boundaries:
  • “Creating breathing room even by declining one meeting ... is a powerful way to retrain your stress response.” [11:32]

Memorable Personal Example (13:56 – 15:10)

• Abagail describes saying no to a seemingly small but emotionally demanding request because she recognized the energy cost:
  • “I was able to kind of assess the situation and realize this, yes, is going to take up more energy than it is time.” [13:56 – 14:30]

Reducing Screen Time & Digital Detox (15:10 – 16:45)

• Admits to feeling “mortified, embarrassed” about her own screen time (“wouldn’t want to post that number on the internet”), reframes digital breaks as necessary for well-being.
• Substitutes activities: audiobooks + walks, crafts like needlepoint, reading physical books before bed.

6. Supporting Sleep & Physical Needs (16:45 – 19:20)

• Build a Consistent Wind-Down Routine:
  • Not just five minutes before bed, but create a longer on-ramp to sleep.
• Nourish Your Body:
  • Eat regular meals, hydrate, moderate caffeine.
  • Shares personal journey with giving up caffeine:
    • “Instead I will occasionally have a warm cup of tea or a diet coke ... but I’m not constantly caffeinated.” [18:55]

7. More Concrete Tools: Therapy & Mental Habits (19:21 – 22:00)

• Therapy Modalities:

  • Recommends CBT and DBT to rewire automatic, stress-driven thoughts and reactions.
  • Shares impact of her husband’s experience with CBT:
    • “The techniques and tools he’s brought home have been really life changing for him. But even for me, you know, even in him just teaching me what he was taught has been a really incredible tool to recognize when I’m part of the problem.” [21:25]

• Gradual Change is Key:

  • “Doing it all at once is overwhelming ... and the whole point is to have a more calm life that allows you to remove some of that.” [22:40]

8. The Payoff: Becoming Yourself Again (22:01 – 27:30)

• Personal Results:
  • “In slowly undoing it, I have a better relationship with myself, a better relationship with my spouse, a better relationship with food, with my phone … I’m more myself than I think I’ve been in over a decade.” [25:40]
• Invite to Listeners:
  • Encourages self-observation, one small step at a time:
    • “Even just observe over the last 12 to 24 hours: what did you do? What things made you feel more stressed or less stressed … adjust something tomorrow or next week or next month.” [27:15]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Restlessness as a Red Flag:
  • “You’re in deep when rest feels more dangerous than your to do list.” [02:03]
• On Stress in Modern Culture:
  • “The absence of stress becomes stressful in and of itself.” [00:13 & 06:11]
• On Saying No:
  • “This yes is going to take up more energy than it is time.” [14:30]
• On The Cost of Change:
  • “It’s not easy or fast or permanent. It’s something you have to keep working on. But I think it might be the most important thing you ever do for yourself.” [26:45]
• On Coming Home to Yourself:
  • “I am far less attracted to the busyness of the online world ... I’m more myself than I think I’ve been in over a decade.” [25:40]

Episode Flow & Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamp | |--------------------------------------|---------------| | Introduction: Culture of Stress | 00:00 – 02:03 | | Defining Cortisol Addiction | 02:03 – 04:53 | | Health Risk Stats & Societal Impact | 04:53 – 06:17 | | Signs of Cortisol Dependence | 06:17 – 08:40 | | Reflection and Cultural Pressures | 08:41 – 10:51 | | Practical Steps to Break the Cycle | 10:52 – 16:45 | | Personal Examples & Boundaries | 13:56 – 15:10 | | Screen Time & Sleep Routines | 15:10 – 19:20 | | Supporting Health: Food & Therapy | 19:21 – 22:00 | | Living the Change | 22:01 – 27:30 | | Final Encouragement & Wrap-up | 27:31 – end |

Conclusion

This episode is both a reality check and a compassionate roadmap for business owners and creators who feel stuck on the stress treadmill. Abagail offers up research-backed context, her own relatable anecdotes, and a gentle yet actionable path toward recovery—one rooted in self-awareness, boundaries, and small, sustainable changes. Her honesty and warmth remind listeners that reclaiming calm isn’t just possible, it’s essential.

For more resources and show notes, visit: bossproject.com/podcast