← The Tamsen Show
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- [00:00]
DSW Advertiser
Foreign.
- [00:06]
Tamsen Fadal
Hi there friends. I am so glad you're here. So today we're going to talk about the most annoying freaking topic that most of us can't get our minds off of, which is belly fat. I swear it's a universal experience and I think something so many of us are struggling with right now. This show is sponsored by MIDI Health.
- [00:24]
MIDI Health Advertiser
Menopause doesn't happen overnight. It happens over years of nights. Hormones start shifting long before your period ends and most doctors aren't trained trained to spot it. That's why MIDI Health exists and it's why I tell every woman I know about them. MIDI is the only virtual care clinic built specifically for women navigating midlife hormonal changes from perimenopause through menopause. And yes, visits are covered by insurance. Book your first virtual Visit today at joinmitti.com Tamsin that's joinmidi.com Tamsin
- [00:56]
DSW Advertiser
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- [01:25]
Tamsen Fadal
Belly fat absolutely killed my confidence. During the years of perimenopause and the beginning of menopause. I was doing everything the same as I always had. Working out, getting up early, eating right, blah blah blah blah. And suddenly I had this like wraparound tire in my middle. It made me feel self conscious. I would like turn to the side and look at myself in the mirror all the time like what is going on? I started wearing looser clothes, trying to hide it. That made me feel even worse because they did not like what I was wearing. And it was kind of a spiral really. And then a lot of things weren't fitting anymore. So I'd have like this side of the closet, like nothing back here. I can't wear. These are the only things I can wear. And I wish somebody had made this simpler for me when I was in the worst of it. Cause I blamed, blamed, blamed myself. I'm not gonna sit here and tell you that it's 100% gone. Far from it. I think a little bit of belly fat at this stage of life is I must have given and I'm not gonna be one of those women with A six pack. It's not how my body carries weight, and I've made peace with that. But I do feel better than I have in a long time. And it's thanks to so many incredible doctors I've interviewed on this podcast, my own personal doctors.
- [02:35]
Monday.com Advertiser
It's just.
- [02:36]
Tamsen Fadal
It's made a huge difference because I understand what's going on. It's not my fault every day of my life. The difference is that I actually apply what they tell me in my real life. And sometimes I feel like I'm your guinea pig. I love. I actually love it. I take what I learn from the smartest people in this space and I try it and I. And today I'm gonna walk you through what stuck. And I wanna warn you before I get started, a lot of what I'm about to tell you you might know. But what I found through doing this show and talking to the top experts in the world is that when you pull back all the noise on social and in the press and in the headlines and the critics that are out there, the most simple stuff, back to basic stuff, is what actually works. You don't need another machine, you don't need another low carb diet, you don't need a special juice cleanse set, blah, whatever. It's not a quick fix. It's gonna take a little bit of work and a little bit of consistency, but it's doable. And you're just gonna feel better in general because you're doing something. So I'm gonna walk through what has been working for me. Quick disclaimer before I dive in. I'm not a doctor, I'm a journalist who has lived through this. Take what I share to your own doctor, because your body and your history are yours. So before I get into what I did, I wanna tell you why it's happening, because that's the part I didn't know. And so that was a huge hurdle. And I think that understanding it is half the battle. When you don't understand it, that's where you're blaming yourself, saying, like, I'm doing all these things right. This isn't your fault. In perimenopause and menopause, our hormones shift, specifically estrogen. That drops. When estrogen drops, which we've had all along, bodies start storing fat differently. The fat that used to live on your hips and your chest in your fertile years has moved to your middle. It's not your imagination, it's not your fault. It is biology, which we didn't learn in biology. On top of that you start losing muscle mass, which is your body's calorie burning engine. More muscle, more calories you're burning. If you're storing more, you're burning less. In your sleep is a mess, your stress is probably higher and your hormones are doing kind of like the cha cha. You're basically set up for failure. So when you say I'm doing exactly what I did at 35 and it's not working, you're right, it's not. The rules have changed and nobody told us about them. So today I want to tell you and I'm just going to go through the five things that have moved the needle for me. And I took some time to like really sit down and do this. So you're not going, oh, thanks, Tamsa. And you gave me another to do list to do on this Monday. So number one, I started eating way more protein and fiber than I ever had before. I never talked about protein, I never talked about fiber. I didn't care about those things. I cared about calories and fat. So this is the biggest one. I had been eating like I was still in my 30s for years, and at some point my body was like, no, ma', am, mm, mm, that's not working. Protein is the most important thing you can put on your plate at this stage in life. It is what builds and protects your muscle. And your muscle is a thing burning your belly fat in the background while you're doing all the other stuff. The number I was given by Dr. Rossio Saliswelan, who is a triple board certified endocrinologist. And one of my favorite humans is around 90 to 100 grams of protein. And trust me, I sat in her office and I'm like, what? I can't get that Spread it across your day because you can not. 80 grams at dinner because your body only uses about 30 per meal for muscle. So think about that. If you're trying to get 90 to 100, it's gotta be 30 per meal. So that's three different times a day. I used to try to get a 50 gram protein meal at the end of the day just to sort of play catch up. And it wasn't making a difference and now I know why. So you need to spread that out three or four times a day, even all day long. Here's what it looks like for me on a regular day, maybe when I'm not traveling, and I try to keep it as close to this as I can when I'm traveling, but I'm not gonna lie to you, it doesn't always work. I start every morning with what I call my Hot Girl Menopause Smoothie. Cause I thought that was a fun name. I pack everything I need into one smoothie. It's delicious. I'll put the recipe for you on substack so you have it. It's got the protein in there, and then after that, from there. So I've done my first one. And then from there, the proteins that I lean on for the rest of the day. Cause you know, I don't eat meat. I've not eaten that for a very, very long time. That's just my preference. It has nothing to do with this episode or any of this conversation. Other things I lean on cottage cheese, Greek yogurt, tofu, which I love, cooked a million different ways. Tuna, eggs, beans, fish. I'm going to give you some of my favorite recipes that are easy because I don't like to spend hours in the kitchen. I'll put them on social, I'll put them on substack. But you have to find what works for you. And you can interchange. If you do chicken, if you do red meat, if you. Whatever you want to do, I'll say this. I really hesitate to tell you to track your food. Because for me, that can get to be obsessive really fast. I don't do it. But here's what I do. When I'm putting a meal together, I center the whole meal around the protein first. Like, what's the protein that's the anchor? And then everything else is so easy. It gets built around it. Veggies, greens, carbs, fats, all that comes afterwards. But that one shift of building the meal around the protein felt a lot easier. Instead of like, oh, yeah, we'll add some protein in at the end. It changed the game because it made it easier to know what I was gonna do for every meal. And this was really hard for me at first. I'm a pescatarian, so I've already cut out that big source of protein. And sometimes I get the egg and fish. Ick. So then I'm like, what am I gonna do now? It's happened to me before. It's probably happened to you before. In menopause, I get weird, random food aversions out of nowhere. Don't know why. Suddenly something smells weird and I'm not gonna eat it for a long time. I can't look at it. And then the thing goes away, and then I want it, and I don't know what's going on there. No one warned me about that. So if anybody knows what's going on, please feel free. I just. That's happened to me. Anyway, the point is, is even with all of that, hitting the protein number is doable. You just have to get a little creative. The other part of this is fiber, which no one told me about. Like, when I thought of fiber, I'm like, oh, my grandmother took fiber. That's all I knew about fiber. I started doing this podcast, and I was hearing fiber, literally in every single interview with any doctor that came in here. Most of us are barely getting half the fiber we need. Fiber feeds your gut bacteria, and your gut bacteria, they're chatting with your hormones all day long. So when your gut's happy and feeling good, your hormones work better, your blood sugar's steadier, and then those cravings go down and belly fat responds to that. The Target is around 30 grams a day. So I would be like 90 to 100 protein. 30 grams of fiber. Those are those two numbers that I think are important. Let's talk about fiber. Berries, beans, which we also have with protein. Leafy greens, oats, chia seeds, which also have protein. Whatever works for you. Just way more than you think. And that was the foundation for me because I thought, oh, I had it. I had a little of this. That's a little fiber. I had no idea 30 was a number I needed to look at. So if you get this part down, I think a lot of the other stuff is. Gets a lot easier. Can we talk about socks for a second? Because I genuinely did not know I was a sock person until bombus came about. Summer is fully here, and between my walks, the gym, traveling to Italy with my dad, I am on my feet constantly. And I'll say the difference between a good sock and a bad sock is something I underestimated for most of my adult life. Bombas has sports socks for literally everything. Running, yoga, the gym. Soft and cushioned, exactly where you want it. Airy, sweat, wicking. My feet feel as good at the end of the walk as they did at the start. And I know that sounds like something you say in an ad, but I actually mean it. The compression socks for travel are also something I will not get on a plane without anymore. They look nothing like those compression socks you're picturing right now. Actual colors, actually cute. And my legs feel completely normal when I land. And for every item you buy, an essential clothing item gets donated to someone facing housing insecurity. Over over 200,000 donations and counting. So you feel good and you do good, which I Love head over to bombus.com tamsyn and use code TAMSEN for 20% off your first purchase. That's B O M B-A-S.com TAMSEN code TAMSEN at checkout Summer's almost here and Ira and I are so excited about going on a trip to Italy with my dad, which I cannot wait for. But I don't want to get to August and be stressed about the money we spent on this trip. So I'm keeping track with Monarch, the personal finance app that tracks everything accounts, investments, savings goals and spending. Get your first year of Monarch Core for half off at just $50 with promo code Tamsen. What I love about it is that most finance apps just tell you what you already spent. Monarch actually helps you plan ahead. You can ask the AI assistant things like can I afford this trip without touching my savings? And it gives you a real answer based on your actual numbers. The weekly AI recap, flags spending spikes and upcoming expenses before they become a problem. It's like having a financial advisor in your pocket who actually knows your full picture and does not judge you for the Sephora charges. Use code tamsenonarch.com to get your first year of Monarch Core Half off at just $50. That's 50% off your first year at monarch.com with code TAMSE. Before we get back to the conversation, I put together a free one page guide. Hormone Therapy 101. It is everything I wish I had known walking into my first conversation about hormones. What estrogen does, what progesterone does, what testosterone does, what labs to ask for, and also the questions to bring with you to the doctor. I made it for you. It's free. It's all there in the show notes. Download it, print it out. If you want to bring it to your next appointment, you deserve to walk in there knowing exactly what to do and also what to ask for. Number two, I started lifting heavy things. This is one I have a lot of feelings about. So I want to take a minute on it. For most of my life, I worked out to be thin and skinny and I want to say it out loud because I know a lot of you did too. We have talked about that. We've talked about disordered eating. We've talked about how we thought about these things in the 80s or the 90s. Cardio. Cardio. Cardio. The treadmill, the elliptical, any new cardio machine. There was Soul Cycle. I thought cardio equaled fat loss and that was the math. Not true. Not even a little bit true. Especially not this stage of life. The moment I shifted my mindset was when I started thinking about what I want the next few decades of my life to look like. I want to be one of those badass old ladies who outlifts the younger women in the gym and the men. I had this moment recently on a plane. This woman in her 70s. I posted this. A woman in her 70s. I was trying to get to my carry on, which was in the overhead bin behind me, so I couldn't reach it, and she's like, oh, is this your suitcase? And I said, yeah. And she goes, I'll get it for you. And I go, oh, my gosh, no, it's okay. And she goes, no, she ripped it out of the overhead. Her arms were jacked. She popped open the handle for me, and she's like, here you go. And I went, oh, my God. I want to be your friend, and I want to be you when I'm older. And then the guys were, like, standing around looking. I'm no longer interested in being skinny. I'm interested in being strong. And the bonus is that being strong is what actually helps get rid of that belly fat. And let me explain why. I know your instinct is going to be that lifting weights instead of cardio doesn't really make sense for fat loss. But it actually does, according to the experts. Here's the science. Muscle is metabolically active tissue, which is a fancy way of saying it burns calories all day long, even when you're sitting on the couch. The more muscle you have, the more your body burns at rest. So when you lift, you're not just toning, you're raising the floor of how many calories your body burns when you're doing nothing. And when estrogen drops in perimenopause, your body starts losing muscle faster than it used to, which means your metabolism slows down, which means belly fat. So lifting is actually how I'm fighting back against the biology. And here's what nobody told you. You don't have to live in the gym to do it. You don't have to bench press a car. You just need to start hitting the weights, and I promise you, it will pay off. Squats with a dumbbell, Deadlifts, a few weighted exercises a few times a week. I started small. I added more over time, and I'm definitely not the same person I was two years ago. Physically, if you can't get to a gym, you can do this at home. You can do this without weights. You can do this with no equipment at all. You can do body weight squats in your kitchen between meetings, during a meeting, just turn your camera off. 10 squats every 45 minutes during the workday. There's research that says that adds up to more than a single 30 minute walk at the end of the day. We've lost our excuses. You don't need a gym, you don't need a trainer. You just need to start picking things up or squatting. All right, number three. I stopped dieting harder when things weren't working. This has been really hard for me and it's probably going to be the hardest for a lot of you because this is a mentality shift. Everything we have been told our whole lives is to do the opposite. My instinct, when my belly fat showed up, I was like panicked. Eat less, cut calories harder. Like get through it. Skip breakfast, skip lunch. Salad for lunch, salad for dinner. Push, push, push. Eat less, less, less. And it was making it worse. Here's what I learned from Dr. Amy Shaw, who is a double board certified physician with a background in nutrition and immunology. She's amazing at this. When you under eat, your body's not stupid. Your body knows you're starving it, so it raises your cortisol, which is your stress hormone. And high cortisol signals your body to hold onto the belly fat. Like, oh my gosh, we don't know when we're gonna eat again. Hold onto that belly fat. Your body's trying to save you. It thinks there's a famine. It thinks that it's gripping it so tight with both hands. Same thing happens with over exercising, with bad sleep, with constant stress. All of it is jacking up the cortisol and that's storing fat. So I remember I was doing a lot of that, trying to lose the belly fat. And actually I was telling my body like, hey, hold onto it just in case we don't get anything else else. I was actually doing the exact opposite of what I should be doing. So if this sounds like you, if this makes sense to you, I mean, I really think about what you're doing to yourself because you shouldn't be hurting yourself through all this. Because once I understood it, I stopped. I stopped skipping meals. I started eating real meals with protein. I stopped trying to obliterate myself in the gym, on the treadmill. I started adding in walks, especially in the sun, which calmed my body down, made me feel good mentally. And I prioritize sleep, which I had never done in my life. I cover sleep in another episode. And it's when anybody says to me like, what's the first thing we should work on? Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep. To me, that's it. And actually what's ironic is doing less in some areas is what got things moving for me. So if you've been struggling through this and it's not working, try the opposite. Eat more, the right things. Not like more popcorn and Raisinets. But the right things move differently, not harder. Try to get sleep more. At least get to sleep at the same time and try to wake up around the same time. Get out in the sun and walk. Your body's not the problem to solve, it's a system to work with it. And that made such a huge difference. And I know we're filled with all these lists during this time of things to do, but a lot of these can be incorporated into your real life so you don't have to set aside hours and hours and hours for self care, because that's just bullshit. Number four, I started paying attention to my gut. Not the belly fat gut, but my gut inside. This is the one nobody talks about. And honestly, I think is one of the most important things I've learned through the whole process. Your gut is such an ugly word, right? Your gut is not just where you digest food. Your gut bacteria, the trillions of organisms living in your digestive tract, are always in constant conversation with your hormones, your brain, your immune system. When estrogen drops in perimenopause, your gut bacteria shift the things you used to be able to eat. All of a sudden you're bloated. Foods that you could digest just fine. Sit there, you constantly have a stomachache. Every. I used to hear myself like, oh my God, I have a stomachache every time after I eat. If your stomach is feeling different all the time, it's real. The state of your gut affects your hormones, your inflammation, and your belly fat. Those are all. Those all touch each other. If you're trying to fix the belly without fixing the gut part, that is a huge missing piece. So this is what it looks like in, you know, in real life. Doctors I've interviewed have told me that two things really matter for your gut. Eating a wide variety of foods, especially plants. The more different that you eat, the more diverse your gut bacteria, the more diverse your gut is, the healthier it is. So if you eat the same five things every single week, that is working against you, you gotta mix it up a little bit. And then second, fermented foods every single day. And I had to force myself to do this. I started with Greek yogurt, which was Great live cultures in that sauerkraut. I still have to like, you know, raw apple, cider vinegar and water. I can get through that one, too. I rotate all these things so it doesn't feel boring. In Asia and Europe, fermented foods are built into how people eat. And here we have to be intentional about it. But you can find all those things at the grocery store now, and they're more common than ever before. When I started doing this, the bloating, which was a huge problem for me because I felt. I felt awful. It was debilitating. Sometimes my stomach felt flatter just from less inflammation. Not from weight loss or anything, just from less inflammation. And the longer I've done it, I noticed, the better everything works. My gut is in a good place. After my closet clean out, I became intentional about what I was bringing back in. And the question I kept asking myself was, does this actually work for my life right now? Not someday, but right now, this summer. The trips, the dinners, all the things I'm actually doing. It's why I love Quince. The best summer pieces are the ones you end up wearing on repeat. That's what Quince does. They make elevated essentials using premium materials like European linen, organic cotton and washable silk without the traditional retail markup. I know because I officially own four of the cotton cashmere rib tanks in four different colors. They're so easy to pack and wear, making summer easier. Everything at quince is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands because they work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middlemen entirely. It's not just clothes, though. Quint also has elevated essentials for your home. Bedding, bath, kitchen and furniture make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to Quince.com Tamsen for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada, too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com Tamsen for free Shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com Tamsen this show is sponsored by Midi Health.
- [22:11]
MIDI Health Advertiser
Every day I hear from women who think they're losing their minds. Can't sleep, can't focus, Crying in the carpool line for no reason.
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Tamsen Fadal
They've been to three, four, five doctors
- [22:19]
MIDI Health Advertiser
and walked out with different theories and zero answers. And not one of them says the word perimenopause. Because here's the truth. Menopause doesn't happen overnight. It happens over years of nights. Hormones start shifting long before your period ends, and most doctors aren't trained to spot it. That's why MIDI Health exists and it's why I tell every woman I know about them. MIDI is the only virtual care clinic built specifically for women navigating midlife hormonal changes from perimenopause through menopause. It was created by women for women and the clinicians are menopause experts and hormone trained specialists who actually listen. No one should tell you it's all in your head. No more being told this is just something you have to live with. Your MIDI clinician will build a personalized care plan with safe FDA approved options, hormonal and non hormonal, based on what you actually need. And yes, visits are covered by insurance. Book your first virtual Visit today@joinmitty.com Tamsen that's join midi.com Tamsen okay, number five,
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Tamsen Fadal
I'm saving, I'm saving this one for last. I cut way back on alcohol and the reason is, is because it might have made one of the biggest differences out of all five, which I hate to admit that I did a whole episode on it. I'll put that down in the show notes for you, but here's a short version. Cause you know a lot about alcohol already. Alcohol is one of the biggest accelerants of belly fat in midlife. And most of us did not ever realize that. The biggest reason that alcohol literally stops your body from burning fat. I'm going to repeat that. The minute alcohol hits your system, your body stops burning fat. Because alcohol is technically a toxin to your body. Your body prioritizes burning the alcohol off before it does anything else, including burning the food you're eating or the fat that you've been trying to lose. So while the wine is keeping you awake at night, it's still sitting in your system and the fat burning is on pause. And the food you ate with the wine, the cheese, whatever you did, it's sitting there. It's not burning. It got stored, it just got stored. On top of that, alcohol spikes cortisol. Again, our friend cortisol, which we just talked about. And then cortisol stores fat in your middle. Alcohol crashes your blood sugar, which means cravings the next day, which means eating things you would normally eat. Like anything you can find, basically any packaged item you can find. Because you know, you guys are not reaching for like an apple. I'm not. One glass of wine on a Saturday is potentially affecting your eating on whatever Saturday night was Sunday, your sleep Saturday night, your workout on Sunday. So just think about that. That drink can do that. When I started paying attention to this and cut way back. My belly responded faster than almost anything else I did. It was that change that move the needle, I think the fastest because it really affected everything, because then I was starting to go to the gym instead of just like hitting my alarm a hundred times the next morning. If you're only gonna do one of the five things, and that is your prerogative, I would try to cut down on the drinking and listen. I've not quit drinking. Be clear about that. You see me with a glass of champagne on my social media a lot. There's no one right answer. But I cut way back, and the difference was real. If you want to listen to that episode on alcohol, it's a deeper conversation, and I think it's. It's one where we kind of get into all the nuances of it. Talk about mocktails, talk about recipes, talk about other ways to approach it in social situations. Because I think all of that is kind of, you know, intertwined. So here's what I want you to take from this. The reason this stuff works is because it's simple. And simple is what holds up over decades. So there's no machine or fad that is going to do for you what consistent protein lifting heavy things, eating for your gut, sleeping enough, walking outside in the sun, and rethinking your alcohol will do. It ain't sexy. I know it's not what social media is trying to sell you, but this is what the actual, real experts are saying about the science, and this is what worked for me. And I want to say this one more time because I think it's important to repeat it. I'm not in the business of being skinny anymore. I'm in the business of being strong. The whole point of taking care of yourself in this stage of life is that the next two, three, four decades, whatever it is, are really kickass ones where you're carrying your own bag, where you're outlifting younger women or men at the gym, you're hiking with your friends, you're enjoying time, you're picking up your grandkids if you have them, you're showing up for the life you actually want. Belly fat was not just about looking different to me. It was about, I was a stranger in my body, Like, I didn't have my confidence. And what these five things gave me back was not a flat stomach, because I told you that is not happening. They gave me back feeling like myself. And that is worth way more than any number on the scale. I don't even use the scale anymore. I hate the scale before I let you go. If you're finding this conversation helpful and if you want to go deeper, my book how to Menopause covers a lot of what we talked about. It's why I said in that book it's about taking charge of your health and reclaiming your life because you deserve to. It's on sale right now by the way. It's linked in the show notes. You can also get the audio version so you can just listen to me drone on all day. I hope this episode gave you something you can actually use. And if you have any more questions, my email is always open. Me or someone on my team will do our best to get back to you asap. We can't answer specific medical questions, but we can try to give you the resources you need. Email me@podcastampsonfadell.com if you want to leave a voicemail or text. The number is 917-382-4277. The number again is 917-382-4377. My team loves hearing what you think. I love hearing what you think. We read all of your reviews. If you could leave one if you have the time, I would love it. It helps us build out every episode and I can't wait to hear what you thought about this one. Make sure to subscribe so you don't miss any of our upcoming we drop episodes on Mondays and Thursdays. We have a lot of incredible guests coming on for you to make sure this next chapter is your most confident and healthiest ones yet. I love you all and we'll talk in the next episode.
- [28:54]
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Monday.com Advertiser
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