Do Me and Ira Ever Fight? Your Spiciest Questions Answered

Summary

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The Tamsen Show

Host: Tamsen Fadal
Episode: Do Me and Ira Ever Fight? Your Spiciest Questions Answered
Date: May 11, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively and candid Q&A episode, Tamsen Fadal, joined by her producer/friend Johanna, dives into listeners’ most personal and “spicy” questions about relationships, family, self-confidence, aging, and more. With her trademark warmth and openness, Tamsen shares personal stories about her marriage, managing parental aging, beauty routines, dating after divorce, and the changing conversations around women's health. Funny, heartfelt, and refreshingly honest, this episode offers relatable insights for women at every stage.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Managing Relationships with Aging Parents

[03:27-06:52]

• Tamsen speaks emotionally about her 86-year-old father, who has lost two wives to breast cancer.
  • Quote (Tamsen, 03:36):
    “I feel worried about him all the time. I want to call him every single day and make sure he’s ok... I try to appreciate all those moments I’m with him and put my phone down.”
• She mentions common concerns: balancing worry and gratitude, caregiver experience with her grandmother, and appreciating the present.
• Tamsen and her brother stay involved with their dad’s appointments and well-being, and plan meaningful trips (like an upcoming one to Italy).
• Importance of letting small issues go:
  • Quote (Tamsen, 06:18):
    “If I don’t agree with something, I just let it go. With him, it’s just like, who cares?”

2. Beauty, Aging, and “Work Done”

[06:57-11:29]

• Tamsen clarifies:
  • No plastic surgery, but she does Botox and used to do more filler (which she’s scaled back on).
  • Consults with Dr. Doris, adjusted her regimen for a more natural look.
  • Regular self-care: Softwave laser, dermaplaning, facials every 6 weeks, careful hair and eyebrow care.
• Mental shift toward less invasive treatments and embracing natural aging.
• On being open to more work:
  • Quote (Tamsen, 11:02):
    “I’m not against getting work done… But I’m too scared to touch my eyelids.”

3. Most Shocking/In-Person Follower Moments

[14:09-16:55]

• Memorable book tour moment at Barnes & Noble:
  • Woman in audience openly asks, “Tamsen, where did my clit go?” in front of family and male attendees.
  • Dr. Emily Morse (sex therapist) gracefully handles the question.
  • Tamsen reflects on how the normalization of intimate health conversations in public is both surprising and empowering.
  • Quote (Johanna, 16:42):
    “That is truly what is the best part about this community, is that we have got women asking about their clits in public now.”

4. Do Tamsen and Ira Ever Fight? Relationship Dynamics

[17:08-21:28]

• Tamsen explains her and Ira’s relationship:
  • Genuine fun and ease, but differences in personalities—she’s spontaneous, he’s a planner.
  • Main source of conflict: She invites people over without warning; Ira prefers notice.
    • Quote (Johanna, 21:02):
      “I think...the only time you guys ever...have a disagreement is when you just invite random people in the house without telling Ira.”
  • On conflict:
    • Ira freezes when unsure what to say; Tamsen sometimes pushes for conversation.
      • Quote (Tamsen, 20:00):
        “He goes, I think it’s that sometimes when I don’t know what to say I just freeze. And I wish I knew what to say more often.”
• Reflection on second marriage, valuing time, and not sweating small stuff.

5. Dating After Divorce: Timing & Confidence

[21:28-26:21]

• Tamsen shares her experience:
  • Single for 6+ years after her divorce, not rushing into dating.
  • Enjoyed time alone; didn’t feel FOMO.
  • Early dating stories: some unexpected, sometimes humorous (a doctor talking about “good heat” before appetizers arrived).
• Advice:
  • Don’t look to immediately find “the one”—just get out, say yes to things, and “feel normal.”
  • Embrace where you are.

6. Self-Confidence and Public Speaking

[26:29-27:59]

• Tamsen admits she still gets nervous, especially with public speaking.
  • Uses beta blockers before keynotes.
  • Encourages self-compassion:
    • Quote (Tamsen, 27:06):
      “I take a beta blocker before I go up on a stage sometimes...I get very anxious and I’ve just learned now...what’s the worst thing that could happen?”
  • Confidence grows with time and experience; self-doubt is universal.

7. Listener Voicemail: Dating Apps After 50

[28:13-31:41]

• Caller, 51, divorced, seeking advice on dating app options after long relationship and raising kids.
• Tamsen suggests:
  • Dating apps (to be listed in show notes); importance of finding one suited to your intentions.
  • Consider professional matchmaking (with caution/vetting).
  • Tap into friend and community networks—tell people you’re looking.
  • Quote (Tamsen, 31:18):
    “I don’t know if you know anybody. No pressure, but you know what? I’m interested in getting back out there.”

8. GLP-1 Medications and Midlife Health

[31:41-34:44]

• Tamsen’s evolving stance: previously skeptical, now open due to new research and firsthand stories, including non-weight-loss benefits.
  • Cautions listeners to use credible practitioners, not “sketchy online” providers.
• Johanna adds: GLP-1 options increasingly discussed on the show, especially for women in perimenopause and menopause.

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Notable Quotes/Memorable Moments (With Timestamps)

• “I feel worried about him all the time...I try to appreciate all those moments I’m with him and put my phone down.”
  — Tamsen, [03:36]

• “If I don’t agree with something...with him, it’s just like, who cares?”
  — Tamsen, [06:18]

• “I’m not against getting work done… But I’m too scared to touch my eyelids.”
  — Tamsen, [11:02]

• “That is truly what is the best part about this community, is that we have got women asking about their clits in public now.”
  — Johanna, [16:42]

• “He goes, I think it’s that sometimes when I don’t know what to say I just freeze. And I wish I knew what to say more often.”
  — Tamsen, [20:00]

• “I don’t know if you know anybody. No pressure, but you know what? I’m interested in getting back out there.”
  — Tamsen, [31:18]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:27] Managing relationship with aging parents
• [06:57] Beauty treatments and “work done”
• [14:09] Most shocking in-person fan moments
• [17:08] Do Tamsen & Ira fight? Marriage and conflict
• [21:28] Life after divorce and dating again
• [26:29] Confidence and self-doubt
• [28:13] Listener voicemail: dating advice after 50
• [31:41] GLP-1 medications & midlife wellness

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Tone & Style

Friendly, candid, humorous, and supportive. Tamsen and Johanna make vulnerability feel powerful, encouraging open conversations about topics that matter but are often whispered about. It’s empowering, real talk—with plenty of warmth and laughter.

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Summary Takeaways

• Appreciate time with aging loved ones and let go of small disagreements.
• Honest, evolving relationships involve small points of tension, but shared humor and respect help.
• Prioritize self-care in whatever way feels right—no shame in whatever mix of “natural” and cosmetic.
• There’s no perfect timeline or method for moving on after divorce—own your journey.
• Confidence is a work in progress—everyone, even the seemingly self-assured, struggles sometimes.
• Women’s health and sexuality should be talked about openly, without shame.
• If you’re re-entering the dating world, use every resource: apps, networks, even professional matchmakers.
• Be cautious and consult experts, especially with trending health treatments.

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Engage further:
Follow @thetamsenshow for show updates and behind-the-scenes. Send in your “spicy” questions for the next Q&A session!

Transcript

[Tamsen]

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[Johanna]

We got some voicemails too. Oh, we got some voicemails too, which I'm excited about.

[Tamsen]

Okay. All right, let's jump into it.

[Johanna]

I actually haven't fully listened to the voicemail yet, so. Okay, we're gonna do.

[Tamsen]

We'll do it together.

[Johanna]

Yeah, we'll do it together. Okay, so these questions.

[Tamsen]

Well, I have to tell you, first of all, the other questions that have come in have been just incredible. Like, and so many women say they've been help from them.

[Johanna]

I know. I mean, you're the relationship queen. Like, if anyone has relationship issues, dating issues.

[Tamsen]

I've been through. I've been through too many of them. I've been through so many of them.

[Johanna]

Ask Tamsen, because I just come to her house to listen three days. No, three days a week with questions from my friends in their 30s. And she. I like that they're like, what does Tamsen think? And so I think you're naturally that person for everybody in your life, so it makes sense. Why, thank you. It works on the podcast. But, you know, these questions are varied. They're not just relationship questions. Some of them are pretty deep and. And.

[Tamsen]

Okay, let's do it.

[Johanna]

Some of them are. I'm. I'd be interested to hear your. Your answer on. Okay, let's start with the first one. How are you managing your relationship with your dad as he ages?

[Tamsen]

Oh, wow. That is a great question. It's so interesting. You know, my. So my dad's 86 years old, for those of you that don't know. And My dad lost two wives, so my mom when he was in his 50s, and then my stepmom a few years ago, both to breast cancer. And I look at him, and he is just remarkable. However, I am also aware that he is 86. And I think as every single day progresses there I have two sides of it. I feel worried about him all the time. I feel like I want to call him every single day and make sure he's okay. And then on the other side, I feel so happy for where he is and how he got through these two really difficult moments in life, and he still appreciates every single day. So I think for me, I do. My brother as well, have a lot of worry. And I've talked to a lot of people our age that are, like, thinking about health, thinking about making sure their parents are safe, making sure that, you know, how they're driving is okay. And so I know they're some scary things that come along with this because I was the primary caregiver to my grandmother. And so I'm very aware of, you know, when we had to. She had to stop driving, and that was very difficult, and she was having A hard time seeing and her health was really down, so I know how scary that can be. I feel very lucky right now with my dad, but I. I can't pretend it's not on my mind all the time. So I'm taking it one day at a time. I try to make sure I keep up on his appointments as best I can, and if I can, I'm lucky my brother's there. And then I try to appreciate all those moments I'm with him and put my phone down. We're gonna go and take a big trip this summer, so I'm excited about that.

[Johanna]

And where are you guys going?

[Tamsen]

We're going to Italy, but I feel like I do have regret that, like, I didn't do some of this stuff when he was in Spain.

[Johanna]

You guys went to Spain, right? Was that last year or two years ago?

[Tamsen]

Two years ago. He was still like in his 80s, you know, like, I wish that, but he's so. He's doing so damn good that I can't get upset about it, you know?

[Johanna]

No.

[Tamsen]

But I, you know, then I look at two of my friend's parents actually just passed, and I'm. I look at that and I've been through a lot with it. You know, they've. They've. One had dementia and the other one, it was just. Sadly, it was very, very sudden. And so I know it's a difficult. It's difficult. I think as we're living longer too, we're just so much more aware of all these stages of our life overlapping. Anyway, I hope that's helpful. But I. I think what I'm doing more than anything is trying to appreciate every single. Every single moment right now with him and letting him do his own thing and not giving him, like, if I don't agree with something, I just let it go. Like, it's not that big a deal. Like, don' with him about it. It's just like, who cares?

[Johanna]

Whatever, you know, all of his dating,

[Tamsen]

and I tease him all the time. He just played an April Fool's joke on me, pretending that he had a new girlfriend that I didn't know about. He doesn't have a girlfriend at all. But he, he, like, he's a jokester and that's what's keeping him young, too. He is doing projects. I believe this. Projects, joking around all the time. Knows all my friends, my brother's friends. It's cute.

[Johanna]

He was life of the party at the last screening in Tampa. He showed up.

[Tamsen]

He did. He's a man of the paws.

[Johanna]

He's a man of the paws.

[Tamsen]

He's really cute. He's really. He's doing well. I feel very, very, very, very lucky.

[Johanna]

That was a great question.

[Tamsen]

Yeah.

[Johanna]

I'm gonna loop these two questions in. It's very personal.

[Tamsen]

Okay.

[Johanna]

I mean, people did not hold back. Have you gotten work done? What treatments do you get every. This is a separate question, but let's answer in the same. What treatments do you get done every month or week that make you look so good?

[Tamsen]

Oh, that's so nice. So let's talk about how you define work. I've not had plastic surgery ever. I do Botox. I do filler. I used to do a lot more filler, and I've let a lot of that dissolve and go out of my face because Dr. Doris took one look at me when I went in, and I said, my biggest problem is I can't smile. So when I would try to smile. You remember this? Yeah, I remember we first started working

[Johanna]

the pictures, like, the before and after. It's so wild. And I didn't notice before.

[Tamsen]

Yeah.

[Johanna]

But now that Doris has got her hands on your face, it's crazy, though.

[Tamsen]

But I. But I would not. I would, like, stretch my mouth out, but not show my teeth, which always was how I used to smile with teeth. And then, because I think my face got. I don't know what. But it just felt like. It just didn't feel comfortable. Right. And so that was my primary complaint when I went to Doris the first time, and she's like, okay, well, instead of doing more, we're doing less. And that scared me. But so I don't do a lot of filler, and I think that has. I think that has made my face less full.

[Johanna]

It makes you look younger, I would say.

[Tamsen]

It's weird. It's really weird because I used to do skin, though.

[Johanna]

So, like.

[Tamsen]

But I see filler in my cheeks and filler in my lips and everywhere. So that's one Botox I still do. Or there's, like, this big crease through my head.

[Johanna]

Through your head?

[Tamsen]

Well, like, through my forehead. Through the middle of my forehead. It's like, this looks like a scar, but it's actually just like a big indentation. Botox. Like Harry Potter like Botox and filler there. And then I do solar wave, which is like a laser, which hurts.

[Johanna]

Is that the same as Softwave?

[Tamsen]

I'm sorry? Soft wave.

[Johanna]

Oh, okay.

[Tamsen]

I was like, johanna's here to remember everything that I can't remember. I'm soft wave.

[Johanna]

Softwave is so good. I've had it done.

[Tamsen]

Solar wave.

[Johanna]

I'm not sure, but it sounds.

[Tamsen]

Maybe you're gonna get that too next time.

[Johanna]

Software hurts, but it is worth it. Yeah.

[Tamsen]

It's so great. And it doesn't. You don't see it right away. Like, no, slowly, people are saying to you, hey, your face looks really good.

[Johanna]

But you only get it done, like, once a year, right? Or every six months.

[Tamsen]

Like, I'm not very consistent, but probably every six months. And then I dermaplane, which I. I get. I go to someplace and get that done, which it gets all this, like, fuzz off your face, but you can actually do it at home, too. And I think that helps my makeup stay on and let me think what else.

[Johanna]

And facials, right?

[Tamsen]

I use. I do facials every six weeks, religiously. I've been doing that for 10 years because I wear so much makeup that my pores. You could, like, swim in my pores. And so I feel like you've got to get all that, like, junk out of there.

[Johanna]

Yeah, that's it. Your eyebrows, I feel like you go to.

[Tamsen]

Oh, I get my eyebrows done all the time, but not. But shaped. And you don't have anything, like.

[Johanna]

Have you ever done anything like that?

[Tamsen]

Like dye, like, tinted.

[Johanna]

You get them tinted, and then I feel like you stay on your hair care. Like, that is why your hair is so nice.

[Tamsen]

Thank you.

[Johanna]

I mean, mahogany.

[Tamsen]

Mahogany is my, like, I don't know. She's changed my life. But, yeah, my hair, she taught me that I have to have the keep using the same ingredients and not. Not constantly change brands all the time.

[Johanna]

It's like skin care.

[Tamsen]

It's like skincare. It's exactly like it. And then I wasn't paying attention to hair very much, so I was having, like, dry hair recently. And so I went through with one of those scrubber brushes and, like, really scrubbed my scalp. I didn't do, like, a scalp treatment or anything. I just did the. Really scrub my scalp. And then I get a keratin. So I get the keratin every four. Four months.

[Johanna]

I don't think people realize how textured Tamsen's hair is, like, until you're like, actually touch looks like, you know, you have these perfect curls on.

[Tamsen]

No, My God, no.

[Johanna]

You know, on social all the time. But it takes a lot of work to get there.

[Tamsen]

Yeah, it can look like. I mean, it can look crazy. I'm sure people have seen it on social. Like, sometimes it looks crazy.

[Johanna]

I don't think I've ever seen your hair look Crazy. You always have the best hair.

[Tamsen]

So maybe it's Ira that says it looks crazy sometimes.

[Johanna]

Okay, well, we'll talk to. We'll call him. Okay.

[Tamsen]

But I'm going to say this. I'm not against getting work done because somebody said I should get my eyelids done, but I'm too scared.

[Johanna]

No, don't touch your eyelids.

[Tamsen]

I'm petrified of that.

[Johanna]

Like, you're going to look like.

[Tamsen]

I'm surprised all the time. Like, oh, my God. What are you saying all the time?

[Johanna]

Yeah, I just think that.

[Tamsen]

But I've seen some good plastic surgery.

[Johanna]

Yeah. If you're going to do it, we're going to call Kris Jenner's person and you're going to spend the money because I think it's like you pay for what you get. Oh, my God.

[Tamsen]

All right.

[Johanna]

Okay.

[Tamsen]

Well. To be continued.

[Johanna]

God. Okay. Oh, my God. I immediately thought of a story when I saw this. I don't think it's even appropriate to tell, but what's the wildest thing a follower said to you in person? Have you had any horror stories or any awkward moments in person? In person?

[Tamsen]

Which one was it?

[Johanna]

Does it.

[Tamsen]

Okay, I have to talk to you about One Skin again because I keep getting asked about my skin and this is genuinely part of the answer. Their OS1 peptide is designed to target what longevity scientists call zombie cells. The ones that stop functioning as we age and cause the fine lines, the dullness, the loss of fir firmness, all of that. Most skin care just sits right on top of that. One skin actually addresses it. It makes a huge difference and I love how clean it feels and how it goes on. And I've seen such a difference since I started using it. Four peer reviewed clinical studies, over 10,000 five star reviews. The results are real. Born from over a decade of longevity research, OneSkin's OS1 peptide is proven to target the visible signs of aging. Help you unlock your healthiest skin now. And as you age, for a limited time, try one skin. 15% off using code TAMSEN@OnSkinCo. TAMSIN. That's 15% off OnSkinCo with Code Tamsen. After you purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. Oh, gosh, I love this time of year. There is something about this time of year where I just want to move. I want to walk, I want to get outside. I want to just get in motion. Long walks, workouts, being outside again. It makes me rethink the basics I'm wearing every day. I'VE been getting back into my lifting workouts and bomba. Sports socks have been such a game changer. They're cushioned where you need them. They stay in place, and I'm not distracted by, like, adjusting everything all the time. I can just focus on moving. And, you know, I love my morning walks and, you know, what happens when I put my boots back in the closet. Then I'm all about comfortable footwear. BOMBAS has warm weather footwear, and it's back in rotation. It's lightweight, supportive, and perfect for travel days or for just running out the door, especially when it comes to their sandals. Even their basics, though, has surprised me overall. The tees, the underwear, they're soft, they're breathable, and they just feel like an upgrade from what I was wearing before. This is also a part that really matters to me. For every item you purchase, an essential clothing item is donated to someone facing housing insecurity. One purchased, one donated. With over 150 million donations and counting, that is pretty amazing to me. Head over to bombus.comtamson and use code TAMSON for 20 off your first purchase. That's B O-M-B-A-S.comtamson code TAMSEN at checkout.

[Johanna]

Speaking of Barnes and Noble. Oh, yeah, that's a good. I mean, can we tell that story?

[Tamsen]

Yeah. I mean, can we say the word? Can we believe it? Can we just.

[Johanna]

We don't believe it. We can say it. Really? This is a podcast.

[Tamsen]

Okay.

[Johanna]

We've said words.

[Tamsen]

So I was in Barnes and Noble for the first week of my book tour last year. Is this the wildest? I guess it's the most shocking, and here's why. It was the most shock. Not shocking, but like, oh, wow, we've opened up the conversation in a great way. I love this. My brother is there. No, no, I'm sorry. My dad is there. No, no.

[Johanna]

Ira's there with his son.

[Tamsen]

With his son, Right, sorry. And his wife's there with his son and his wife.

[Johanna]

My agent Ty was there.

[Tamsen]

My agent was there.

[Johanna]

Ty is just learning about menopause now.

[Tamsen]

Poor Ty, man. And he's like, we just.

[Johanna]

I'm gonna come to this event and I'm gonna learn what these women want.

[Tamsen]

I just support you. Okay? So they're all. All the guys. So Justin, my stepson, bonus son. My bonus son, Justin, Ira, Ty are like the three only men in the back of the room. And we're going through, and Dr. Emily Morse was with us, and she was talking.

[Johanna]

She's a sex therapist.

[Tamsen]

Sex therapist. And some. We went through a lot of, like, heavy questions. And the signing was in, like, the cookbook session kind of of the store.

[Johanna]

Like, there was, like, the kids section was in the background, and they were talking about sex and menopause.

[Tamsen]

Somebody raises her hand and goes like, tamsin, I have a question for you. When did my clit disappear? And I was like, no, no, no.

[Johanna]

She said, tamsin, where did my clit go?

[Tamsen]

Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. Where did my clit go? And I was like, I don't even. I didn't even know what to do. I was so. And I don't think we've really been talking about stuff like this at that point yet.

[Johanna]

I don't even. I think, like, vaginal estrogen was just on the table of us.

[Tamsen]

Yeah, it was, like, in my book, but it wasn't. I really hadn't. I didn't dive into this part quite yet. And I was like, I don't know what to. I don't even know what to say. But all I could do is look at the three men in the back and go like, oh, my God, what do I do? And we're in Barnes and Noble. But Emily was great. She handled it, like, with that, like,

[Johanna]

you literally, like, just passed for the mic.

[Tamsen]

You're like, oh, I think you should take that one. So that was. That was. Here's what I love about this conversation, even though I've had a lot of shocking moments through the years, like, as a news person and all that, is that this conversation, you would never have had somebody even probably know to ask that or even be talking about something like that or paying attention to that.

[Johanna]

Even comfortable.

[Tamsen]

Even comfortable in a doctor's office, more or less. Barnes and Noble.

[Johanna]

That is truly what is the best part about this community, is that we have got women asking about their clits in public now.

[Tamsen]

Everything, every. Anywhere.

[Johanna]

There's no shame anymore.

[Tamsen]

Anywhere you want to remember.

[Johanna]

People didn't even, like, want to admit that they were in perimenopause before this.

[Tamsen]

Yeah. Yes. I remember people ran away from me the first time I went around to ask them in Times Square. They, like, ran away, and I was asking them a bad question. So now we have opened up the.

[Johanna]

I feel like the next question is, I feel like you and Ira must never fight here in your relationship. It looks so loving. Do you fight and how do you handle conflict?

[Tamsen]

Oh, that's a good question. It's funny. I think about this a lot. We're coming up on five years of marriage, which is amazing, but I love that. You know, it's really, really cool because when we were in our first two, I'm like, oh, it's only two years. That's not a lot. So at the beginning, before we really understood.

[Johanna]

Why do you feel that way? Is it because it's your second marriage? Like, you kind of want to, like.

[Tamsen]

I think I want to, like, have legitimacy in it. Yeah. Maybe I want to get past the number of the last one and this will do it, because that was, like, three or four years.

[Johanna]

Oh, that's a big one. Let's celebrate.

[Tamsen]

I think. I don't know, because I think I wish I had met him earlier. You know, I wish I'd been married to him earlier and, like, I wish I'd been with them longer in my life. So I like that those years start going by and. Or, you know, we've got those years behind us. And I used to never talk about relationships. I used to be, like. Like, I never wanted to be, like, sappy. So it's not really sappy. It's just that we really have fun together. Like. And he is so clear on my nuttiness sometimes, what my dad calls my idiosyncrasies, and he just, like, laughs them off a little bit. You know, it's like, I walk into the kitchen this morning, I was running late, as usual. Got up late, like, crap. I have to be here in 30 minutes to the podcast studio. It's downtown. You know, my hair is, like, all over the place. I need to take a shower. And I see him in the kitchen, and he's just so happy in the morning. And I'm like, hi, best friend, my love, my Ira, my angel. Get me a coffee now. And so he was. He just started laughing and then brought it to me. And I. He. He's just easy to be with. And yes, we have our share of disagreements. Sometimes, like, sometimes he. Well, here's the biggest thing with him. And he actually said this to me the other night. He doesn't. When he doesn't want to say about something, if I'm like, what do you think? Or, you know, what do I do? He doesn't say anything. He just, like, freezes. And then it pisses me off that he, like, freezes and doesn't have any input. And I'm like, why don't you have any input? And. And I think that he's ignoring it, but it's just. He doesn't know what to say. So I said to him the other night, we shut off the tv, and I'm like, let's have. Let's talk. And he's like, oh, God.

[Johanna]

After. After the Arthur Brooks episode, she wants to stare at each other's eyes.

[Tamsen]

I know. He's like, what in the world? He goes, like, what? What? Where'd you learn this?

[Johanna]

I'm laughing because I do this kind of stuff all the time, so. You do all the time.

[Tamsen]

I was like, let's have a conversation tonight. And so I turn off, like, the show we're in the middle of watching, and he's like, like. And I go, so what is one thing.

[Johanna]

Oh, my God, if someone did cards.

[Tamsen]

If someone did this to me, I

[Johanna]

would, like, throw them out of the bed.

[Tamsen]

What's one thing that you've wanted to tell me but you've never said out loud?

[Johanna]

Oh, good. That's always a good starter.

[Tamsen]

And without a beat, he goes. I think it's that sometimes when I don't know what to say, I just freeze. And I wish I knew what to say more often.

[Johanna]

Oh, that's so nice.

[Tamsen]

I know. I felt so terrible. So, anyway, we do. So we do have our share of stuff, but I think in.

[Johanna]

From the. From my perspective, I'm around you guys a lot as your, you know, third bonus child that I forced on you. I think that the only time you guys ever have even. I wouldn't even call it a fight, like, a disagreement, is when you just invite random people in the house without telling Ira. Like, I think it's a scheduling thing. Like, Tamsin's brain runs a hundred miles a minute, and she's like, everything's fine. No worries. Yeah, just stop by. Yeah, just stop by. Just come in the house with all your camera equipment. And then Ira's left. Like, there's a camera crew in the house. And he's in the shower's, like, coming out in his robe, and he's like, what the hell's going on? You didn't tell me any about that.

[Tamsen]

I do have a little bit of a.

[Johanna]

Like, so I'll say that's, like, the only thing you know?

[Tamsen]

Yeah, it irritates him. I mean, not that people are there, but just that, like, he doesn't know my schedule, so he wants to know exactly what's.

[Johanna]

He's a planner.

[Tamsen]

He's a planner. And I'm not. Like, I woke up this morning. He goes, I thought you were gonna work out. And I go, oh, I changed out last night. And he goes like, he. Like, he doesn't know he can't change his life like that, you know?

[Johanna]

And you're the opposite.

[Tamsen]

Mine is the complete opposite. I'm not sure what's happening 30 minutes from now.

[Johanna]

Yeah, you actually aren't.

[Tamsen]

And I actually don't know.

[Johanna]

So. Yeah. Tamsin, thank you so much for talking so openly about your divorce. It's helping more women than you know. How long were you single? How did you know you were ready to start dating again? After.

[Tamsen]

Let's see. After my divorce, I was single probably six. Probably six or seven years. Six and a half. Let's say six and a half years after my divorce, I was single. Like, I went out, so I mean, single of a serious relationship, I guess. And then. But I didn't start dating. You know, we really had. We were separated, so. We were separated for a long time. So it was almost like the divorce. So we finalized a divorce. It was probably like six months that I started dating. But really, we had been separated for like a year and a half. Plus.

[Johanna]

Yeah.

[Tamsen]

At that point. So I think I knew. I didn't really know I wanted a date, like, to go meet somebody. I just knew I wanted to get out of the house. I was like, early 40s, New York City, everyone's doing stuff. Carrie Bradshaw, everyone's doing fun stuff. And I felt like I just wanted to be whole a little bit. And I was like, every Friday night, I was sitting at home on my couch having pizza with my Chihuahuas and, like, I don't know, learning how to code and, like, I was doing weird things.

[Johanna]

That sounds amazing, actually.

[Tamsen]

It actually was really fun, now that I look at it. And there was no. I wasn't, like, worried about. I don't know. I just, like, that's what I did. And I also probably feel like you

[Johanna]

didn't have, like, FOMO from social media.

[Tamsen]

Not at all. Not even a little bit. It was none of that. I just, like, kind of didn't know what everyone was doing. Well, let me think what year it was. I guess there was, like, a little bit of Facebook, but I don't know about anything.

[Johanna]

Right. But people weren't posting the same back then.

[Tamsen]

No, it was like, here was my vacation from three weeks ago.

[Johanna]

Yeah.

[Tamsen]

Or here's my adorable family. Or here's my. It wasn't like, yeah, you suck because you weren't invited to this party, but we're all here, you know? It wasn't anything like that. My morning routine is the thing that keeps me sane. I walk outside, some sunlight, and my cachava shake. It's the ritual that sets a tone for. For everything else but summer Always used to mess with that. A different schedule, a different city, and suddenly the habits that made me feel good, they just disappear. Cachava's new travel packs change all that for me. I throw a pack or two in my bag on the way out the door and I'm done. Same complete nutrition I rely on every single day. Protein, fiber, greens, probiotics, omegas, you name it. Electrolytes, vitamins and minerals. All in one pack, ready to go. Six flavors and every one of them tastes really good. There are no fillers, no artificial anything. Just clean nutrition that travels as well as I do. Take your daily ritual with you. Go to kachava.com and use code TAMSEN for 15 off your first order. That's Kachava. K-A C-H-A-V-A.com code TAMSON. You know, I have been on a real mission, especially with all the traveling I'm doing lately, to simplify my wardrobe. Fewer pieces, better quality. Things I actually want to put on. When I walk into my closet. It I found the champagne silk maxi skirt from Quince. I have not stopped wearing it. It's 100 mulberry silk. It has real weight. And that drape, you know, that makes it feel like so luxurious. And it's machine washable. To top it off, I check the price twice because it makes no sense. That's the whole Quince model, by the way. They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middleman. So you get premium quality at 50 to 80% less than what you'd pay anywhere else else. Refresh your everyday with luxury you actually use. Head to Quince.com Tamson for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com Tamsen for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com Tamsin yeah, so I, I think that's when I started dating. But I didn't date going out there looking for somebody I didn't want to be like, I can't wait to meet somebody. I just can't wait. And this is. I just did not want to do that. I just wanted to get out and be normal. Yeah. Or just feel normal.

[Johanna]

So did you go on dates right away or did you like just put yourself out there?

[Tamsen]

Like parties? Yeah, I went to parties. I went out with friends. I said yes to a lot of stuff. I remember, like one of the first dates I went on was this guy who was a doctor that Somebody set me up with. And by the time the appetizers got there, he was like, I think we could have good heat together and have beautiful children. I was like, what?

[Johanna]

Like a dog Good heat?

[Tamsen]

No, I think we can make good heat. Like, like I don't really actually. Like. No, I guess like have good sex.

[Johanna]

He was already planning your children together.

[Tamsen]

Yeah, by how nice. By how he looked. So anyway, good news was I was doing the evening news then and I said, oh my gosh, I've got to get back to the news. I think there's breaking news. We never got to the main course.

[Johanna]

Oh my God, I wish we, we could have a whole episode about your dating stories.

[Tamsen]

Oh, you don't want an episode about my dating stories.

[Johanna]

This is a great question.

[Tamsen]

Or I don't want an episode about my dating stories.

[Johanna]

I do. I feel like you're the most confident person. Do you ever get nervous or unsure of yourself?

[Tamsen]

Oh, I get on. I get unsure myself all the time. I get insure myself about answering these questions. Sometimes I think that that's totally normal and anybody that says they don't have that, that is full of shit. One and two. You know, I have this dreaded fear of public speaking. Even though I do it and I love it at the end. But you know this Johanna leading up to it, what do I do? Panic and get really quiet and.

[Johanna]

And go into a corner.

[Tamsen]

I take a beta blocker.

[Johanna]

Oh, take a beta blocker. I was like, wait, what's the answer?

[Tamsen]

I take a beta blocker.

[Johanna]

We're allowed to talk about clits. And on this episode,

[Tamsen]

I take a beta blocker before I go up on a stage sometimes when I know it's going to be like a keynote because I get very anxious and I've just learned now a little bit better. Like I play this in my head. What's the worst thing that could happen? Like these people aren't thinking about you. Like they're not sitting there waiting to judge you. They invited you here. And even if they didn't invite you here, you don't have anything to prove to anyone. So I think over time that that's helped quite a bit. But I do think we all get anxious and not confident and feel a little off our game, don't you? Me?

[Johanna]

No, never. I'm always perfect.

[Tamsen]

I forgot about you.

[Johanna]

I'm just kidding, Noah. Of course, we just talked about it yesterday. I think that's a normal in my question, my questions. But I will say, Tamsin, you are a very confident person. I think Non public speaking wise.

[Tamsen]

Oh yeah.

[Johanna]

And like how you carry yourself. But I think that also comes with time and lessons and all that. Okay, we actually got a voicemail, so I want to play that out loud. We both haven't listened to this, so we'll see what happens.

[Tamsen]

Let's see.

[Johanna]

Hi, Camson. I was married for 20 years. Divorced 10 years ago. And since then I've had one relationship for three years. The relationship was with a man about an emotionally available, about six years younger than me. Was not healthy from the get go. And I have such a hang up with dating up. I'm 51 and it just scares me to death to do that. But I know that I am ready for a partnership. Like I said, besides that one relationship, I've been raising kids that on my own for 10 years and now my kids are gone. And so just any guidance you can give me. I don't even know what apps to start with. I have no idea. Thank you so much. Bye. Bye.

[Tamsen]

So I love this question so much. You know I do. She's 51 years old and I so get that. First of all, I love the fact you've been in a relationship already. Whether it was healthy or not healthy,

[Johanna]

I love that it was willing to get back out there.

[Tamsen]

Six years younger is good. Six years younger. Serious.

[Johanna]

I feel like a lot of women now are dating younger men, but she.

[Tamsen]

Yeah, of course, of course, of course. Yeah. Demi was the first one that started that. And then it's, you know, it's, it's gone on quite a bit. But what I think I love about that is she knows exactly who she is. I was in this relationship. It wasn't healthy for me from the get go. I know who I am. I raise my kids. She sounds like she has a ton of confidence and she just needs to know like where you go and pick that up. I think we need to do some research on some of the best dating apps versus just like go on this one and we'll leave them down below for her and for anybody else who's getting back out there. Cause I think it depends on your age. You know, it depends on how much work you want to put into it. And some of those apps are like, like night of. Some of those apps are like, hey, I want somebody that's going to put a little bit more into this.

[Johanna]

I also think too, like, you know, we had Bella on the podcast and I just think, you know, she's based in Chicago, but like the idea of a matchmaker, like, I'm sure there's people in your area, too. Like, I feel like an actual professional matchmaker is maybe more like serious people for people that are looking for a serious relationship.

[Tamsen]

Yeah, as long as you vet them and make sure they're a good one. Like, there's a lot of people that say that, you know, I can get you, set you up, do this, do that. But I think you want to really understand, you know, who's out there, because that's less of a numbers game. Right. So if you're gonna go on the app, you could go to a lunch, a drink, a dinner in one day and be like, okay, three dates, whatever it is, you're not gonna make a big, long dates. But at least you start doing that. Versus a matchmaker would be like, you get 10 dates total or five dates total, and that's all you're gonna get. And if you don't like them, well, good luck, you pay again.

[Johanna]

So that's got it.

[Tamsen]

So that's the only reason I would think that the dating app. But I also think we underestimate the people we know, too. And I think about this. If you think about the people you know, maybe the wives of. Of people that you know that you were friends with or friends that you have, I don't think there's anything wrong with telling everybody that you're maybe interested in a partner. I think that's a really great kind of organic way. It's not gonna work out, like, a lot of the time, but every once in a while, you might meet somebody who might introduce you to somebody else. So.

[Johanna]

So you think, just tell people, like, I'm looking for somebody.

[Tamsen]

A hundred percent, A thousand percent. I don't know if you know anybody. No pressure, but you know what? I'm interested in getting back out there. So if you know somebody, even for dinner or love to meet them, I love them.

[Johanna]

Yeah.

[Tamsen]

It doesn't have to be like, do you think we're both going to make good heat? It doesn't have to be that.

[Johanna]

I think it takes the pressure off too, you know?

[Tamsen]

Yeah, me too. For everybody. People are scared to set people up because they don't want to be blamed.

[Johanna]

Okay, this one's interesting. I actually don't know your answer to this. Would you ever go on a GLP1? They seem to be everywhere right now, but I'm having some doubts. What are your thoughts, yes or no?

[Tamsen]

I would go on a GLP1. I think that if you'd asked me that a year and a half ago, I would have said absolutely not. What are you talking about? But the more that we've had on this show, the more we've talked to doctors, the more we go to so many events and so many conferences and so many different things that the benefits outside of even weight loss, but do come with that of inflammation, of food noise, of all those different things that a lot of women are dealing with right now, especially in midlife, I think has been a game changer. And I see it, I see it with people who've done it. I see it with people who went from not being on one to being on one. I see it with a lot of the new data and research that comes out. So, yeah, I would never take that off the table ever. And I think, you know, one of my good friends is like, oh, so it's all happening too fast and no, no, no, no, no. I don't think, I don't think so. But I, I, I felt that exact way a year and a half ago and now I feel different.

[Johanna]

You know, we're told that you're pre diabetic. That's also like, that's a menopause thing too. I, I, I know Dr. Rocio talked about it on the show of how much it supports women in, in menopause.

[Tamsen]

And Paris that I was on, that I was Metformin, Metformin that I went on for pre diabetes. It's a pre diabetic medication, which is so weird because I think my dad was on it, my stepmom was on it, all these people and, and, and I think they just like, it's like, I don't know, a lot of people give it out. So anyway, when I went to start seeing Dr. Rocio, she took me off of it because I was getting sick all the time. Like I was nauseous with it.

[Johanna]

It was awful.

[Tamsen]

It was awful. And so, yeah, as long as they don't have that kind of side effects that I would, that would be very helpful in that. That's what the, that's what it's for, you know?

[Johanna]

Yeah.

[Tamsen]

And GLP1 can be different doses. I mean, I think they've altered things in so many different ways now. I don't know that I'd just run to anybody, though, and do that. Like, I wouldn't be like, oh, let me microdose here and microdose there. Because I've now understand the difference. I didn't know what I think there's

[Johanna]

a lot of companies that are just doing it, like kind of sketchy online.

[Tamsen]

Yeah.

[Johanna]

And saying, I don't know what it is, to be honest.

[Tamsen]

But I think you have to have this practitioners and people that you trust and companies that you trust and companies that are seeing women. Like, whatever you're going through, I think that's the difference.

[Johanna]

Yeah. And I also would say don't make your decision based off of other people's opinions.

[Tamsen]

Yeah. I don't know. I guess I didn't know so much about it. And we had literally two episodes or three fully on GLP1s. Because it was like a year ago, wasn't it, that it was such a.

[Johanna]

One of our first episodes, actually, we had Dr. Alexandra Sawa.

[Tamsen]

Doctor. Yeah.

[Johanna]

Saying her name right.

[Tamsen]

But Soa. Dr. Soa. Yeah. Dr. Soa. And she. And I was like, she was almost

[Johanna]

even a year year ago, I was like, I don't know if people are gonna relate to this. And now I feel like everyone's on one.

[Tamsen]

Yeah, I think so, too. I. I read, I heard something recent was like one out of eight people in the U.S. i heard it. Maybe it's a commercial. I don't know. But I think that's what I heard today.

[Johanna]

Yeah. Yeah. All right. I mean, it's my interesting. It's an interesting conversation. I think it's nuanced, but.

[Tamsen]

Yep.

[Johanna]

Anyway, I think Tams. And that's all the questions that we have right now. But we will do this again because we got a lot of questions. But, you know, I know, but we

[Tamsen]

want to put them into different categories, too. So you have a relationship. One to listen to. Right. And. And body and health. But thank you for sending in your questions. We really, I really hope that this helps and I hope that we can do this more often, like more days of the week, too. But we wanted to put this in the Monday episode because I think it's a kind of a good way to start your week, especially if you have questions about things as you're heading into the the rest of the week. So thank you for being part of our community and joining us in the Tamson show. And I will talk to you next time. Insurance isn't one size fits all. That's why customers have enjoyed Progressive's Name youe Price Tool for years now. With the Name youe Price Tool, you tell them what you want to pay, and they'll show you options that fit your budget. So whether you're picking out your first policy or just looking for something that works better for you and your family, they make it easy to see your options. Visit progressive.com, find a rate that works for you with a name. Your price tool Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates Price and Coverage match limited

[Johanna]

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