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Tamsen
Today's podcast is sponsored by Midi Health. So many women tell me the same thing. They finally speak up about brain fog, exhaustion or anxiety and they're brushed off or told it's just stress or age. That kind of dismissal makes you question your own body. Midi changes that by offering expert insurance covered virtual care that actually understands midlife and treats women like they matter. Ready to feel your best and write your second act script? Visit joinmitty.comtamsin today to book your personalized insurance covered virtual visit. That's joinmitty.com Tamsen Midi the care women deserve what is that one money lesson that you wish you learned earlier? And how are you trying to pass it down to your kids? I didn't learn very much, so it's so, so important to do this for all the parents out there. With teenagers, we know you're already trying to keep a million different things under control. Cash App is here to make sure your TE money and their spending isn't adding to that craziness. Cash App is designed to meet teens ages 13 to 17 where they are with intuitive educational tools. It's really pretty incredible. Nobody wants unnecessary surprises. And with Cash App, there are no monthly fees, no minimum balance requirements, and no hidden charges when sending or receiving money. Think about it, skip the stress and give your teen a way to learn financial responsibility with with no hidden fees for a limited time. New Cash App Customers can earn $10 if they use the code Family10 in their profile at signup and send $5 to a friend within 14 days. Terms apply. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partners. Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank Member FDIC direct Deposit and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block Inc. Brand. Visit Cash App Legal Podcast for full disclosures. Happy Monday. I am so glad you all are here. Coming back to the Tamsen show. So you know, we did a couple of episodes of question and answer Q&As on relationships and all sorts of things. But we did a call out and a lot of you sent in all sorts of questions. So I don't know what I'm in store for today, but Johanna pulled pulled a bunch of questions and we're going to get through as many as we can for this episode. And by the way, I hope your week is off to a good start. So we'll see.
Johanna
We got some voicemails too. Oh, we got some voicemails too, which I'm excited about.
Tamsen
Okay. All right, let's jump into it.
Johanna
I actually haven't fully listened to the voicemail yet, so. Okay, we're gonna do.
Tamsen
We'll do it together.
Johanna
Yeah, we'll do it together. Okay, so these questions.
Tamsen
Well, I have to tell you, first of all, the other questions that have come in have been just incredible. Like, and so many women say they've been help from them.
Johanna
I know. I mean, you're the relationship queen. Like, if anyone has relationship issues, dating issues.
Tamsen
I've been through. I've been through too many of them. I've been through so many of them.
Johanna
Ask Tamsen, because I just come to her house to listen three days. No, three days a week with questions from my friends in their 30s. And she. I like that they're like, what does Tamsen think? And so I think you're naturally that person for everybody in your life, so it makes sense. Why, thank you. It works on the podcast. But, you know, these questions are varied. They're not just relationship questions. Some of them are pretty deep and. And.
Tamsen
Okay, let's do it.
Johanna
Some of them are. I'm. I'd be interested to hear your. Your answer on. Okay, let's start with the first one. How are you managing your relationship with your dad as he ages?
Tamsen
Oh, wow. That is a great question. It's so interesting. You know, my. So my dad's 86 years old, for those of you that don't know. And My dad lost two wives, so my mom when he was in his 50s, and then my stepmom a few years ago, both to breast cancer. And I look at him, and he is just remarkable. However, I am also aware that he is 86. And I think as every single day progresses there I have two sides of it. I feel worried about him all the time. I feel like I want to call him every single day and make sure he's okay. And then on the other side, I feel so happy for where he is and how he got through these two really difficult moments in life, and he still appreciates every single day. So I think for me, I do. My brother as well, have a lot of worry. And I've talked to a lot of people our age that are, like, thinking about health, thinking about making sure their parents are safe, making sure that, you know, how they're driving is okay. And so I know they're some scary things that come along with this because I was the primary caregiver to my grandmother. And so I'm very aware of, you know, when we had to. She had to stop driving, and that was very difficult, and she was having A hard time seeing and her health was really down, so I know how scary that can be. I feel very lucky right now with my dad, but I. I can't pretend it's not on my mind all the time. So I'm taking it one day at a time. I try to make sure I keep up on his appointments as best I can, and if I can, I'm lucky my brother's there. And then I try to appreciate all those moments I'm with him and put my phone down. We're gonna go and take a big trip this summer, so I'm excited about that.
Johanna
And where are you guys going?
Tamsen
We're going to Italy, but I feel like I do have regret that, like, I didn't do some of this stuff when he was in Spain.
Johanna
You guys went to Spain, right? Was that last year or two years ago?
Tamsen
Two years ago. He was still like in his 80s, you know, like, I wish that, but he's so. He's doing so damn good that I can't get upset about it, you know?
Johanna
No.
Tamsen
But I, you know, then I look at two of my friend's parents actually just passed, and I'm. I look at that and I've been through a lot with it. You know, they've. They've. One had dementia and the other one, it was just. Sadly, it was very, very sudden. And so I know it's a difficult. It's difficult. I think as we're living longer too, we're just so much more aware of all these stages of our life overlapping. Anyway, I hope that's helpful. But I. I think what I'm doing more than anything is trying to appreciate every single. Every single moment right now with him and letting him do his own thing and not giving him, like, if I don't agree with something, I just let it go. Like, it's not that big a deal. Like, don' with him about it. It's just like, who cares?
Johanna
Whatever, you know, all of his dating,
Tamsen
and I tease him all the time. He just played an April Fool's joke on me, pretending that he had a new girlfriend that I didn't know about. He doesn't have a girlfriend at all. But he, he, like, he's a jokester and that's what's keeping him young, too. He is doing projects. I believe this. Projects, joking around all the time. Knows all my friends, my brother's friends. It's cute.
Johanna
He was life of the party at the last screening in Tampa. He showed up.
Tamsen
He did. He's a man of the paws.
Johanna
He's a man of the paws.
Tamsen
He's really cute. He's really. He's doing well. I feel very, very, very, very lucky.
Johanna
That was a great question.
Tamsen
Yeah.
Johanna
I'm gonna loop these two questions in. It's very personal.
Tamsen
Okay.
Johanna
I mean, people did not hold back. Have you gotten work done? What treatments do you get every. This is a separate question, but let's answer in the same. What treatments do you get done every month or week that make you look so good?
Tamsen
Oh, that's so nice. So let's talk about how you define work. I've not had plastic surgery ever. I do Botox. I do filler. I used to do a lot more filler, and I've let a lot of that dissolve and go out of my face because Dr. Doris took one look at me when I went in, and I said, my biggest problem is I can't smile. So when I would try to smile. You remember this? Yeah, I remember we first started working
Johanna
the pictures, like, the before and after. It's so wild. And I didn't notice before.
Tamsen
Yeah.
Johanna
But now that Doris has got her hands on your face, it's crazy, though.
Tamsen
But I. But I would not. I would, like, stretch my mouth out, but not show my teeth, which always was how I used to smile with teeth. And then, because I think my face got. I don't know what. But it just felt like. It just didn't feel comfortable. Right. And so that was my primary complaint when I went to Doris the first time, and she's like, okay, well, instead of doing more, we're doing less. And that scared me. But so I don't do a lot of filler, and I think that has. I think that has made my face less full.
Johanna
It makes you look younger, I would say.
Tamsen
It's weird. It's really weird because I used to do skin, though.
Johanna
So, like.
Tamsen
But I see filler in my cheeks and filler in my lips and everywhere. So that's one Botox I still do. Or there's, like, this big crease through my head.
Johanna
Through your head?
Tamsen
Well, like, through my forehead. Through the middle of my forehead. It's like, this looks like a scar, but it's actually just like a big indentation. Botox. Like Harry Potter like Botox and filler there. And then I do solar wave, which is like a laser, which hurts.
Johanna
Is that the same as Softwave?
Tamsen
I'm sorry? Soft wave.
Johanna
Oh, okay.
Tamsen
I was like, johanna's here to remember everything that I can't remember. I'm soft wave.
Johanna
Softwave is so good. I've had it done.
Tamsen
Solar wave.
Johanna
I'm not sure, but it sounds.
Tamsen
Maybe you're gonna get that too next time.
Johanna
Software hurts, but it is worth it. Yeah.
Tamsen
It's so great. And it doesn't. You don't see it right away. Like, no, slowly, people are saying to you, hey, your face looks really good.
Johanna
But you only get it done, like, once a year, right? Or every six months.
Tamsen
Like, I'm not very consistent, but probably every six months. And then I dermaplane, which I. I get. I go to someplace and get that done, which it gets all this, like, fuzz off your face, but you can actually do it at home, too. And I think that helps my makeup stay on and let me think what else.
Johanna
And facials, right?
Tamsen
I use. I do facials every six weeks, religiously. I've been doing that for 10 years because I wear so much makeup that my pores. You could, like, swim in my pores. And so I feel like you've got to get all that, like, junk out of there.
Johanna
Yeah, that's it. Your eyebrows, I feel like you go to.
Tamsen
Oh, I get my eyebrows done all the time, but not. But shaped. And you don't have anything, like.
Johanna
Have you ever done anything like that?
Tamsen
Like dye, like, tinted.
Johanna
You get them tinted, and then I feel like you stay on your hair care. Like, that is why your hair is so nice.
Tamsen
Thank you.
Johanna
I mean, mahogany.
Tamsen
Mahogany is my, like, I don't know. She's changed my life. But, yeah, my hair, she taught me that I have to have the keep using the same ingredients and not. Not constantly change brands all the time.
Johanna
It's like skin care.
Tamsen
It's like skincare. It's exactly like it. And then I wasn't paying attention to hair very much, so I was having, like, dry hair recently. And so I went through with one of those scrubber brushes and, like, really scrubbed my scalp. I didn't do, like, a scalp treatment or anything. I just did the. Really scrub my scalp. And then I get a keratin. So I get the keratin every four. Four months.
Johanna
I don't think people realize how textured Tamsen's hair is, like, until you're like, actually touch looks like, you know, you have these perfect curls on.
Tamsen
No, My God, no.
Johanna
You know, on social all the time. But it takes a lot of work to get there.
Tamsen
Yeah, it can look like. I mean, it can look crazy. I'm sure people have seen it on social. Like, sometimes it looks crazy.
Johanna
I don't think I've ever seen your hair look Crazy. You always have the best hair.
Tamsen
So maybe it's Ira that says it looks crazy sometimes.
Johanna
Okay, well, we'll talk to. We'll call him. Okay.
Tamsen
But I'm going to say this. I'm not against getting work done because somebody said I should get my eyelids done, but I'm too scared.
Johanna
No, don't touch your eyelids.
Tamsen
I'm petrified of that.
Johanna
Like, you're going to look like.
Tamsen
I'm surprised all the time. Like, oh, my God. What are you saying all the time?
Johanna
Yeah, I just think that.
Tamsen
But I've seen some good plastic surgery.
Johanna
Yeah. If you're going to do it, we're going to call Kris Jenner's person and you're going to spend the money because I think it's like you pay for what you get. Oh, my God.
Tamsen
All right.
Johanna
Okay.
Tamsen
Well. To be continued.
Johanna
God. Okay. Oh, my God. I immediately thought of a story when I saw this. I don't think it's even appropriate to tell, but what's the wildest thing a follower said to you in person? Have you had any horror stories or any awkward moments in person? In person?
Tamsen
Which one was it?
Johanna
Does it.
Tamsen
Okay, I have to talk to you about One Skin again because I keep getting asked about my skin and this is genuinely part of the answer. Their OS1 peptide is designed to target what longevity scientists call zombie cells. The ones that stop functioning as we age and cause the fine lines, the dullness, the loss of fir firmness, all of that. Most skin care just sits right on top of that. One skin actually addresses it. It makes a huge difference and I love how clean it feels and how it goes on. And I've seen such a difference since I started using it. Four peer reviewed clinical studies, over 10,000 five star reviews. The results are real. Born from over a decade of longevity research, OneSkin's OS1 peptide is proven to target the visible signs of aging. Help you unlock your healthiest skin now. And as you age, for a limited time, try one skin. 15% off using code TAMSEN@OnSkinCo. TAMSIN. That's 15% off OnSkinCo with Code Tamsen. After you purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. Oh, gosh, I love this time of year. There is something about this time of year where I just want to move. I want to walk, I want to get outside. I want to just get in motion. Long walks, workouts, being outside again. It makes me rethink the basics I'm wearing every day. I'VE been getting back into my lifting workouts and bomba. Sports socks have been such a game changer. They're cushioned where you need them. They stay in place, and I'm not distracted by, like, adjusting everything all the time. I can just focus on moving. And, you know, I love my morning walks and, you know, what happens when I put my boots back in the closet. Then I'm all about comfortable footwear. BOMBAS has warm weather footwear, and it's back in rotation. It's lightweight, supportive, and perfect for travel days or for just running out the door, especially when it comes to their sandals. Even their basics, though, has surprised me overall. The tees, the underwear, they're soft, they're breathable, and they just feel like an upgrade from what I was wearing before. This is also a part that really matters to me. For every item you purchase, an essential clothing item is donated to someone facing housing insecurity. One purchased, one donated. With over 150 million donations and counting, that is pretty amazing to me. Head over to bombus.comtamson and use code TAMSON for 20 off your first purchase. That's B O-M-B-A-S.comtamson code TAMSEN at checkout.
Johanna
Speaking of Barnes and Noble. Oh, yeah, that's a good. I mean, can we tell that story?
Tamsen
Yeah. I mean, can we say the word? Can we believe it? Can we just.
Johanna
We don't believe it. We can say it. Really? This is a podcast.
Tamsen
Okay.
Johanna
We've said words.
Tamsen
So I was in Barnes and Noble for the first week of my book tour last year. Is this the wildest? I guess it's the most shocking, and here's why. It was the most shock. Not shocking, but like, oh, wow, we've opened up the conversation in a great way. I love this. My brother is there. No, no, I'm sorry. My dad is there. No, no.
Johanna
Ira's there with his son.
Tamsen
With his son, Right, sorry. And his wife's there with his son and his wife.
Johanna
My agent Ty was there.
Tamsen
My agent was there.
Johanna
Ty is just learning about menopause now.
Tamsen
Poor Ty, man. And he's like, we just.
Johanna
I'm gonna come to this event and I'm gonna learn what these women want.
Tamsen
I just support you. Okay? So they're all. All the guys. So Justin, my stepson, bonus son. My bonus son, Justin, Ira, Ty are like the three only men in the back of the room. And we're going through, and Dr. Emily Morse was with us, and she was talking.
Johanna
She's a sex therapist.
Tamsen
Sex therapist. And some. We went through a lot of, like, heavy questions. And the signing was in, like, the cookbook session kind of of the store.
Johanna
Like, there was, like, the kids section was in the background, and they were talking about sex and menopause.
Tamsen
Somebody raises her hand and goes like, tamsin, I have a question for you. When did my clit disappear? And I was like, no, no, no.
Johanna
She said, tamsin, where did my clit go?
Tamsen
Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. Where did my clit go? And I was like, I don't even. I didn't even know what to do. I was so. And I don't think we've really been talking about stuff like this at that point yet.
Johanna
I don't even. I think, like, vaginal estrogen was just on the table of us.
Tamsen
Yeah, it was, like, in my book, but it wasn't. I really hadn't. I didn't dive into this part quite yet. And I was like, I don't know what to. I don't even know what to say. But all I could do is look at the three men in the back and go like, oh, my God, what do I do? And we're in Barnes and Noble. But Emily was great. She handled it, like, with that, like,
Johanna
you literally, like, just passed for the mic.
Tamsen
You're like, oh, I think you should take that one. So that was. That was. Here's what I love about this conversation, even though I've had a lot of shocking moments through the years, like, as a news person and all that, is that this conversation, you would never have had somebody even probably know to ask that or even be talking about something like that or paying attention to that.
Johanna
Even comfortable.
Tamsen
Even comfortable in a doctor's office, more or less. Barnes and Noble.
Johanna
That is truly what is the best part about this community, is that we have got women asking about their clits in public now.
Tamsen
Everything, every. Anywhere.
Johanna
There's no shame anymore.
Tamsen
Anywhere you want to remember.
Johanna
People didn't even, like, want to admit that they were in perimenopause before this.
Tamsen
Yeah. Yes. I remember people ran away from me the first time I went around to ask them in Times Square. They, like, ran away, and I was asking them a bad question. So now we have opened up the.
Johanna
I feel like the next question is, I feel like you and Ira must never fight here in your relationship. It looks so loving. Do you fight and how do you handle conflict?
Tamsen
Oh, that's a good question. It's funny. I think about this a lot. We're coming up on five years of marriage, which is amazing, but I love that. You know, it's really, really cool because when we were in our first two, I'm like, oh, it's only two years. That's not a lot. So at the beginning, before we really understood.
Johanna
Why do you feel that way? Is it because it's your second marriage? Like, you kind of want to, like.
Tamsen
I think I want to, like, have legitimacy in it. Yeah. Maybe I want to get past the number of the last one and this will do it, because that was, like, three or four years.
Johanna
Oh, that's a big one. Let's celebrate.
Tamsen
I think. I don't know, because I think I wish I had met him earlier. You know, I wish I'd been married to him earlier and, like, I wish I'd been with them longer in my life. So I like that those years start going by and. Or, you know, we've got those years behind us. And I used to never talk about relationships. I used to be, like. Like, I never wanted to be, like, sappy. So it's not really sappy. It's just that we really have fun together. Like. And he is so clear on my nuttiness sometimes, what my dad calls my idiosyncrasies, and he just, like, laughs them off a little bit. You know, it's like, I walk into the kitchen this morning, I was running late, as usual. Got up late, like, crap. I have to be here in 30 minutes to the podcast studio. It's downtown. You know, my hair is, like, all over the place. I need to take a shower. And I see him in the kitchen, and he's just so happy in the morning. And I'm like, hi, best friend, my love, my Ira, my angel. Get me a coffee now. And so he was. He just started laughing and then brought it to me. And I. He. He's just easy to be with. And yes, we have our share of disagreements. Sometimes, like, sometimes he. Well, here's the biggest thing with him. And he actually said this to me the other night. He doesn't. When he doesn't want to say about something, if I'm like, what do you think? Or, you know, what do I do? He doesn't say anything. He just, like, freezes. And then it pisses me off that he, like, freezes and doesn't have any input. And I'm like, why don't you have any input? And. And I think that he's ignoring it, but it's just. He doesn't know what to say. So I said to him the other night, we shut off the tv, and I'm like, let's have. Let's talk. And he's like, oh, God.
Johanna
After. After the Arthur Brooks episode, she wants to stare at each other's eyes.
Tamsen
I know. He's like, what in the world? He goes, like, what? What? Where'd you learn this?
Johanna
I'm laughing because I do this kind of stuff all the time, so. You do all the time.
Tamsen
I was like, let's have a conversation tonight. And so I turn off, like, the show we're in the middle of watching, and he's like, like. And I go, so what is one thing.
Johanna
Oh, my God, if someone did cards.
Tamsen
If someone did this to me, I
Johanna
would, like, throw them out of the bed.
Tamsen
What's one thing that you've wanted to tell me but you've never said out loud?
Johanna
Oh, good. That's always a good starter.
Tamsen
And without a beat, he goes. I think it's that sometimes when I don't know what to say, I just freeze. And I wish I knew what to say more often.
Johanna
Oh, that's so nice.
Tamsen
I know. I felt so terrible. So, anyway, we do. So we do have our share of stuff, but I think in.
Johanna
From the. From my perspective, I'm around you guys a lot as your, you know, third bonus child that I forced on you. I think that the only time you guys ever have even. I wouldn't even call it a fight, like, a disagreement, is when you just invite random people in the house without telling Ira. Like, I think it's a scheduling thing. Like, Tamsin's brain runs a hundred miles a minute, and she's like, everything's fine. No worries. Yeah, just stop by. Yeah, just stop by. Just come in the house with all your camera equipment. And then Ira's left. Like, there's a camera crew in the house. And he's in the shower's, like, coming out in his robe, and he's like, what the hell's going on? You didn't tell me any about that.
Tamsen
I do have a little bit of a.
Johanna
Like, so I'll say that's, like, the only thing you know?
Tamsen
Yeah, it irritates him. I mean, not that people are there, but just that, like, he doesn't know my schedule, so he wants to know exactly what's.
Johanna
He's a planner.
Tamsen
He's a planner. And I'm not. Like, I woke up this morning. He goes, I thought you were gonna work out. And I go, oh, I changed out last night. And he goes like, he. Like, he doesn't know he can't change his life like that, you know?
Johanna
And you're the opposite.
Tamsen
Mine is the complete opposite. I'm not sure what's happening 30 minutes from now.
Johanna
Yeah, you actually aren't.
Tamsen
And I actually don't know.
Johanna
So. Yeah. Tamsin, thank you so much for talking so openly about your divorce. It's helping more women than you know. How long were you single? How did you know you were ready to start dating again? After.
Tamsen
Let's see. After my divorce, I was single probably six. Probably six or seven years. Six and a half. Let's say six and a half years after my divorce, I was single. Like, I went out, so I mean, single of a serious relationship, I guess. And then. But I didn't start dating. You know, we really had. We were separated, so. We were separated for a long time. So it was almost like the divorce. So we finalized a divorce. It was probably like six months that I started dating. But really, we had been separated for like a year and a half. Plus.
Johanna
Yeah.
Tamsen
At that point. So I think I knew. I didn't really know I wanted a date, like, to go meet somebody. I just knew I wanted to get out of the house. I was like, early 40s, New York City, everyone's doing stuff. Carrie Bradshaw, everyone's doing fun stuff. And I felt like I just wanted to be whole a little bit. And I was like, every Friday night, I was sitting at home on my couch having pizza with my Chihuahuas and, like, I don't know, learning how to code and, like, I was doing weird things.
Johanna
That sounds amazing, actually.
Tamsen
It actually was really fun, now that I look at it. And there was no. I wasn't, like, worried about. I don't know. I just, like, that's what I did. And I also probably feel like you
Johanna
didn't have, like, FOMO from social media.
Tamsen
Not at all. Not even a little bit. It was none of that. I just, like, kind of didn't know what everyone was doing. Well, let me think what year it was. I guess there was, like, a little bit of Facebook, but I don't know about anything.
Johanna
Right. But people weren't posting the same back then.
Tamsen
No, it was like, here was my vacation from three weeks ago.
Johanna
Yeah.
Tamsen
Or here's my adorable family. Or here's my. It wasn't like, yeah, you suck because you weren't invited to this party, but we're all here, you know? It wasn't anything like that. My morning routine is the thing that keeps me sane. I walk outside, some sunlight, and my cachava shake. It's the ritual that sets a tone for. For everything else but summer Always used to mess with that. A different schedule, a different city, and suddenly the habits that made me feel good, they just disappear. Cachava's new travel packs change all that for me. I throw a pack or two in my bag on the way out the door and I'm done. Same complete nutrition I rely on every single day. Protein, fiber, greens, probiotics, omegas, you name it. Electrolytes, vitamins and minerals. All in one pack, ready to go. Six flavors and every one of them tastes really good. There are no fillers, no artificial anything. Just clean nutrition that travels as well as I do. Take your daily ritual with you. Go to kachava.com and use code TAMSEN for 15 off your first order. That's Kachava. K-A C-H-A-V-A.com code TAMSON. You know, I have been on a real mission, especially with all the traveling I'm doing lately, to simplify my wardrobe. Fewer pieces, better quality. Things I actually want to put on. When I walk into my closet. It I found the champagne silk maxi skirt from Quince. I have not stopped wearing it. It's 100 mulberry silk. It has real weight. And that drape, you know, that makes it feel like so luxurious. And it's machine washable. To top it off, I check the price twice because it makes no sense. That's the whole Quince model, by the way. They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middleman. So you get premium quality at 50 to 80% less than what you'd pay anywhere else else. Refresh your everyday with luxury you actually use. Head to Quince.com Tamson for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com Tamsen for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com Tamsin yeah, so I, I think that's when I started dating. But I didn't date going out there looking for somebody I didn't want to be like, I can't wait to meet somebody. I just can't wait. And this is. I just did not want to do that. I just wanted to get out and be normal. Yeah. Or just feel normal.
Johanna
So did you go on dates right away or did you like just put yourself out there?
Tamsen
Like parties? Yeah, I went to parties. I went out with friends. I said yes to a lot of stuff. I remember, like one of the first dates I went on was this guy who was a doctor that Somebody set me up with. And by the time the appetizers got there, he was like, I think we could have good heat together and have beautiful children. I was like, what?
Johanna
Like a dog Good heat?
Tamsen
No, I think we can make good heat. Like, like I don't really actually. Like. No, I guess like have good sex.
Johanna
He was already planning your children together.
Tamsen
Yeah, by how nice. By how he looked. So anyway, good news was I was doing the evening news then and I said, oh my gosh, I've got to get back to the news. I think there's breaking news. We never got to the main course.
Johanna
Oh my God, I wish we, we could have a whole episode about your dating stories.
Tamsen
Oh, you don't want an episode about my dating stories.
Johanna
This is a great question.
Tamsen
Or I don't want an episode about my dating stories.
Johanna
I do. I feel like you're the most confident person. Do you ever get nervous or unsure of yourself?
Tamsen
Oh, I get on. I get unsure myself all the time. I get insure myself about answering these questions. Sometimes I think that that's totally normal and anybody that says they don't have that, that is full of shit. One and two. You know, I have this dreaded fear of public speaking. Even though I do it and I love it at the end. But you know this Johanna leading up to it, what do I do? Panic and get really quiet and.
Johanna
And go into a corner.
Tamsen
I take a beta blocker.
Johanna
Oh, take a beta blocker. I was like, wait, what's the answer?
Tamsen
I take a beta blocker.
Johanna
We're allowed to talk about clits. And on this episode,
Tamsen
I take a beta blocker before I go up on a stage sometimes when I know it's going to be like a keynote because I get very anxious and I've just learned now a little bit better. Like I play this in my head. What's the worst thing that could happen? Like these people aren't thinking about you. Like they're not sitting there waiting to judge you. They invited you here. And even if they didn't invite you here, you don't have anything to prove to anyone. So I think over time that that's helped quite a bit. But I do think we all get anxious and not confident and feel a little off our game, don't you? Me?
Johanna
No, never. I'm always perfect.
Tamsen
I forgot about you.
Johanna
I'm just kidding, Noah. Of course, we just talked about it yesterday. I think that's a normal in my question, my questions. But I will say, Tamsin, you are a very confident person. I think Non public speaking wise.
Tamsen
Oh yeah.
Johanna
And like how you carry yourself. But I think that also comes with time and lessons and all that. Okay, we actually got a voicemail, so I want to play that out loud. We both haven't listened to this, so we'll see what happens.
Tamsen
Let's see.
Johanna
Hi, Camson. I was married for 20 years. Divorced 10 years ago. And since then I've had one relationship for three years. The relationship was with a man about an emotionally available, about six years younger than me. Was not healthy from the get go. And I have such a hang up with dating up. I'm 51 and it just scares me to death to do that. But I know that I am ready for a partnership. Like I said, besides that one relationship, I've been raising kids that on my own for 10 years and now my kids are gone. And so just any guidance you can give me. I don't even know what apps to start with. I have no idea. Thank you so much. Bye. Bye.
Tamsen
So I love this question so much. You know I do. She's 51 years old and I so get that. First of all, I love the fact you've been in a relationship already. Whether it was healthy or not healthy,
Johanna
I love that it was willing to get back out there.
Tamsen
Six years younger is good. Six years younger. Serious.
Johanna
I feel like a lot of women now are dating younger men, but she.
Tamsen
Yeah, of course, of course, of course. Yeah. Demi was the first one that started that. And then it's, you know, it's, it's gone on quite a bit. But what I think I love about that is she knows exactly who she is. I was in this relationship. It wasn't healthy for me from the get go. I know who I am. I raise my kids. She sounds like she has a ton of confidence and she just needs to know like where you go and pick that up. I think we need to do some research on some of the best dating apps versus just like go on this one and we'll leave them down below for her and for anybody else who's getting back out there. Cause I think it depends on your age. You know, it depends on how much work you want to put into it. And some of those apps are like, like night of. Some of those apps are like, hey, I want somebody that's going to put a little bit more into this.
Johanna
I also think too, like, you know, we had Bella on the podcast and I just think, you know, she's based in Chicago, but like the idea of a matchmaker, like, I'm sure there's people in your area, too. Like, I feel like an actual professional matchmaker is maybe more like serious people for people that are looking for a serious relationship.
Tamsen
Yeah, as long as you vet them and make sure they're a good one. Like, there's a lot of people that say that, you know, I can get you, set you up, do this, do that. But I think you want to really understand, you know, who's out there, because that's less of a numbers game. Right. So if you're gonna go on the app, you could go to a lunch, a drink, a dinner in one day and be like, okay, three dates, whatever it is, you're not gonna make a big, long dates. But at least you start doing that. Versus a matchmaker would be like, you get 10 dates total or five dates total, and that's all you're gonna get. And if you don't like them, well, good luck, you pay again.
Johanna
So that's got it.
Tamsen
So that's the only reason I would think that the dating app. But I also think we underestimate the people we know, too. And I think about this. If you think about the people you know, maybe the wives of. Of people that you know that you were friends with or friends that you have, I don't think there's anything wrong with telling everybody that you're maybe interested in a partner. I think that's a really great kind of organic way. It's not gonna work out, like, a lot of the time, but every once in a while, you might meet somebody who might introduce you to somebody else. So.
Johanna
So you think, just tell people, like, I'm looking for somebody.
Tamsen
A hundred percent, A thousand percent. I don't know if you know anybody. No pressure, but you know what? I'm interested in getting back out there. So if you know somebody, even for dinner or love to meet them, I love them.
Johanna
Yeah.
Tamsen
It doesn't have to be like, do you think we're both going to make good heat? It doesn't have to be that.
Johanna
I think it takes the pressure off too, you know?
Tamsen
Yeah, me too. For everybody. People are scared to set people up because they don't want to be blamed.
Johanna
Okay, this one's interesting. I actually don't know your answer to this. Would you ever go on a GLP1? They seem to be everywhere right now, but I'm having some doubts. What are your thoughts, yes or no?
Tamsen
I would go on a GLP1. I think that if you'd asked me that a year and a half ago, I would have said absolutely not. What are you talking about? But the more that we've had on this show, the more we've talked to doctors, the more we go to so many events and so many conferences and so many different things that the benefits outside of even weight loss, but do come with that of inflammation, of food noise, of all those different things that a lot of women are dealing with right now, especially in midlife, I think has been a game changer. And I see it, I see it with people who've done it. I see it with people who went from not being on one to being on one. I see it with a lot of the new data and research that comes out. So, yeah, I would never take that off the table ever. And I think, you know, one of my good friends is like, oh, so it's all happening too fast and no, no, no, no, no. I don't think, I don't think so. But I, I, I felt that exact way a year and a half ago and now I feel different.
Johanna
You know, we're told that you're pre diabetic. That's also like, that's a menopause thing too. I, I, I know Dr. Rocio talked about it on the show of how much it supports women in, in menopause.
Tamsen
And Paris that I was on, that I was Metformin, Metformin that I went on for pre diabetes. It's a pre diabetic medication, which is so weird because I think my dad was on it, my stepmom was on it, all these people and, and, and I think they just like, it's like, I don't know, a lot of people give it out. So anyway, when I went to start seeing Dr. Rocio, she took me off of it because I was getting sick all the time. Like I was nauseous with it.
Johanna
It was awful.
Tamsen
It was awful. And so, yeah, as long as they don't have that kind of side effects that I would, that would be very helpful in that. That's what the, that's what it's for, you know?
Johanna
Yeah.
Tamsen
And GLP1 can be different doses. I mean, I think they've altered things in so many different ways now. I don't know that I'd just run to anybody, though, and do that. Like, I wouldn't be like, oh, let me microdose here and microdose there. Because I've now understand the difference. I didn't know what I think there's
Johanna
a lot of companies that are just doing it, like kind of sketchy online.
Tamsen
Yeah.
Johanna
And saying, I don't know what it is, to be honest.
Tamsen
But I think you have to have this practitioners and people that you trust and companies that you trust and companies that are seeing women. Like, whatever you're going through, I think that's the difference.
Johanna
Yeah. And I also would say don't make your decision based off of other people's opinions.
Tamsen
Yeah. I don't know. I guess I didn't know so much about it. And we had literally two episodes or three fully on GLP1s. Because it was like a year ago, wasn't it, that it was such a.
Johanna
One of our first episodes, actually, we had Dr. Alexandra Sawa.
Tamsen
Doctor. Yeah.
Johanna
Saying her name right.
Tamsen
But Soa. Dr. Soa. Yeah. Dr. Soa. And she. And I was like, she was almost
Johanna
even a year year ago, I was like, I don't know if people are gonna relate to this. And now I feel like everyone's on one.
Tamsen
Yeah, I think so, too. I. I read, I heard something recent was like one out of eight people in the U.S. i heard it. Maybe it's a commercial. I don't know. But I think that's what I heard today.
Johanna
Yeah. Yeah. All right. I mean, it's my interesting. It's an interesting conversation. I think it's nuanced, but.
Tamsen
Yep.
Johanna
Anyway, I think Tams. And that's all the questions that we have right now. But we will do this again because we got a lot of questions. But, you know, I know, but we
Tamsen
want to put them into different categories, too. So you have a relationship. One to listen to. Right. And. And body and health. But thank you for sending in your questions. We really, I really hope that this helps and I hope that we can do this more often, like more days of the week, too. But we wanted to put this in the Monday episode because I think it's a kind of a good way to start your week, especially if you have questions about things as you're heading into the the rest of the week. So thank you for being part of our community and joining us in the Tamson show. And I will talk to you next time. Insurance isn't one size fits all. That's why customers have enjoyed Progressive's Name youe Price Tool for years now. With the Name youe Price Tool, you tell them what you want to pay, and they'll show you options that fit your budget. So whether you're picking out your first policy or just looking for something that works better for you and your family, they make it easy to see your options. Visit progressive.com, find a rate that works for you with a name. Your price tool Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates Price and Coverage match limited
Johanna
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Host: Tamsen Fadal
Episode: Do Me and Ira Ever Fight? Your Spiciest Questions Answered
Date: May 11, 2026
In this lively and candid Q&A episode, Tamsen Fadal, joined by her producer/friend Johanna, dives into listeners’ most personal and “spicy” questions about relationships, family, self-confidence, aging, and more. With her trademark warmth and openness, Tamsen shares personal stories about her marriage, managing parental aging, beauty routines, dating after divorce, and the changing conversations around women's health. Funny, heartfelt, and refreshingly honest, this episode offers relatable insights for women at every stage.
[03:27-06:52]
[06:57-11:29]
[14:09-16:55]
[17:08-21:28]
[21:28-26:21]
[26:29-27:59]
[28:13-31:41]
[31:41-34:44]
“I feel worried about him all the time...I try to appreciate all those moments I’m with him and put my phone down.”
— Tamsen, [03:36]
“If I don’t agree with something...with him, it’s just like, who cares?”
— Tamsen, [06:18]
“I’m not against getting work done… But I’m too scared to touch my eyelids.”
— Tamsen, [11:02]
“That is truly what is the best part about this community, is that we have got women asking about their clits in public now.”
— Johanna, [16:42]
“He goes, I think it’s that sometimes when I don’t know what to say I just freeze. And I wish I knew what to say more often.”
— Tamsen, [20:00]
“I don’t know if you know anybody. No pressure, but you know what? I’m interested in getting back out there.”
— Tamsen, [31:18]
Friendly, candid, humorous, and supportive. Tamsen and Johanna make vulnerability feel powerful, encouraging open conversations about topics that matter but are often whispered about. It’s empowering, real talk—with plenty of warmth and laughter.
Engage further:
Follow @thetamsenshow for show updates and behind-the-scenes. Send in your “spicy” questions for the next Q&A session!