How to Do It Scared (and Still Succeed) with Sherri Shepherd

Summary

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Podcast Summary: The Tamsen Show

Episode: How to Do It Scared (and Still Succeed) with Sherri Shepherd
Host: Tamsen Fadal
Guest: Sherri Shepherd
Release Date: November 19, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this inspiring and deeply personal conversation, Emmy-winning journalist Tamsen Fadal sits down with comedian, actress, author, and talk show host Sherri Shepherd. The discussion centers on the theme of “doing it scared,” as Sherri recounts her tumultuous journey from hardship to Hollywood stardom—offering wisdom on grit, faith, resilience, and the importance of a supportive circle. The episode is a heartfelt road map for anyone facing self-doubt, reinvention, or daunting life changes, especially women navigating midlife challenges.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Hollywood Walk of Fame: Full Circle Moment

• Sherri reflects on receiving her star ([03:27]):
  • Surreal sense of legacy and gratitude, quipping about being “number 2,882” to get a star.
  • The star stands on the street she once lived on while struggling in LA.
  • “I just knew the heartache and the tears and the grit… I still have tears in my journal.” ([05:33])

2. Hardships and Early Lessons

• Struggles with finances, housing, and legal troubles ([07:45], [09:47]):

  • Recounts sleeping on couches or busses, getting evicted, and being arrested for unpaid tickets.
  • Unvarnished honesty about youthful mistakes and the consequences.

• Importance of her early support system ([13:31]):

  • Friends and coworkers from her law firm became her first audience and believers.
  • Secretaries at the law firm pooled $600 for her first standup comedy class.

    “All of those secretaries… put the money in and paid for my six weeks of comedy classes.” ([19:56])

3. The "Do It Scared" Origin Story ([16:07])

• Pivotal night at The Comedy Store:

  • Encouraged by a female audience member and advice from Eddie Griffin/Andrew Dice Clay:

    “Just do it.”
    “But I'm scared.”
    “Then do it scared.”
    — Sherri Shepherd, paraphrasing both comics ([16:41])

• Mantras that fueled her:

  • "If you don’t try it, you’ll never know." (Advice from friend Donetta, [19:15])
  • Doing it scared remains her life’s philosophy.

4. Barriers and Breaks in the Industry

• Early acting gigs and racial barriers ([32:17]):

  • Sherri’s memorable bit role on “Friends”—obtained after her agent begged for her audition when the role “wasn’t supposed to go to a Black woman.”
  • Attempt to inject humor and awareness with her “Friends finally got some color” postcard, which ended up offending producers.

    “I think it kind of triggered them. And I never was on Friends again.” ([34:42])

• Navigating typecasting:

  “I used to be known as the black girl who was on all the white sitcoms… Stealing the scenes.” ([35:08])

5. Turning Points: Comedy, Acting, and Motherhood

• Breakthrough with “Suddenly Susan” and persistence

  • Recalls finally feeling some stability, only for the show to be canceled after one season ([37:24]).

• How standup became sanctuary amid chaos ([24:51]):

  • Balanced comedy nights with exhausting family and caretaking responsibilities.
  • "Being on stage was the only thing that made me happy."

6. Motherhood, Trauma, and Healing

• Jeffrey’s premature birth and challenges ([43:02]-[45:14]):

  • Shares her son's birth at 25 weeks, a period marked by marital infidelity and depression.
  • At one point, doctors recommended removing life support, but a last-minute change saved Jeffrey’s life ([51:02]-[52:00]).

  • “He didn't die that day… They said he wouldn't be able to talk… When my son says to me, ‘Mom, bruh, I love it,’ because they said he wasn't gonna be able to do all of that.” ([53:42])

• Motherhood as fuel ([55:53]):

  • Sherri wakes up “worried a lot” and everything she does, she does for her son.
  • On why she works out:

    “I'm always picturing Jeffrey at a finish line… So everything that I do… is for Jeffrey.” ([56:07])

7. Evolving as a Talk Show Host

• The winding road to The Sherri Show ([63:49]):

  • Numerous rejections due to age or not being “what talk shows want,” including being told “we need younger people in the talk show space.”
  • Emotional toll and perseverance:

    “It hurts too much to have this dream… I can't, I'm tired of the no's…” ([66:07])

  • Managers/agents who stood by her side for a decade.

• Why success came at the right age ([75:54]):

  • “If I got a show in my 20s… I was not ready. I was not mature enough. I was too much of a people pleaser in my 20s and my 30s.”

8. Barbara Walters’ Mentorship and Lessons ([43:43], [76:27]-[79:27]):

• Taught Sherri to deepen her voice, speak with confidence, and project her beliefs.
• On learning to express why you believe in something, not just what you believe.
• Touching story of Barbara’s support for Sherri and Jeffrey.

• “You couldn’t pay to get the lessons that I got for free from Barbara Walters.” ([77:51])

9. The Power of Resilience, Taking Risks, and “Doing It Scared”

• Advice for women and younger listeners ([83:48]-[86:49]):

  • Encourages taking big risks, moving out of comfort zones, meeting new people, and embracing failure as growth.

  • “If you can get past the fear… that's where the treasure trove of opportunities are.” ([86:49])
    “So do it scared. Run towards that thing that causes that… jittery feeling. Run towards it.” ([86:42])

• Learning to say “no”

  • “At this age, I go, no. It'll be so much silence. We can keep looking at each other all day. I said what I said.” ([88:05])

10. New Directions and Creativity

• Writing a Blasian Romance Novel ([88:57]):
  • Sherri is learning Korean, collaborating with writer J.C. Lee, and blending Black and Korean cultural experiences, inspired by her love for K-dramas.
  • Injects authentic humor, life experience, and steamy romance into the narrative.

  • “I want people to be on the subway like 50 Shades of Grey going, ‘I can't let y’all see what I'm reading.’” ([93:08])

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Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On her gratefulness for the journey:

  “It’s overwhelming to know that that’s forever… my heart is so full of gratitude.” ([05:14])

• On believing in yourself:

  “If you don’t try it, you’ll never know.” (Donetta’s advice, [19:15])

• On the impact of friendship and sisterhood:

  “All of those secretaries… they all believed in me.” ([19:56])

• On mentorship:

  “Barbara Walters sat me down and she said, ‘You’ve got to project more confidence… If you don’t start interrupting and start saying what you believe, tell me why you are saying no.’” ([77:24])

• On perseverance:

  “I've had people believe in me… A person's belief in you will carry you further than an agent getting there, going, we can get you all this money, and we can. That's not it.” ([67:41])

• On overcoming imposter syndrome:

  “That thing, the hand got over my face and I was like, they're gonna find out that you're not deserving… But what keeps me calm is making people laugh.” ([90:37])

• Her ultimate mantra:

  “Do it scared.” (multiple segments; originated at [16:41], reiterated throughout)

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Important Timestamps

| Time | Segment/Quote | |----------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:27 | Sherri’s feelings on receiving her Walk of Fame star | | 07:45 | Early industry struggles and her agent getting her on “Friends” | | 16:07 | The night at the Comedy Store and birth of the “Do it scared” mantra | | 19:56 | Friends pooling $600 for her to take comedy classes | | 32:17 | Breaking into “Friends” and industry typecasting | | 43:02 | Becoming a mother, Jeffrey’s premature birth, and personal trauma | | 51:02 | Deciding to “pull the plug” on Jeffrey and the last-minute miracle | | 55:53 | How motherhood changes Sherri | | 63:49 | Finally launching her own talk show after decades of rejection, ageism, and heartbreak | | 76:27 | Barbara Walters’ mentorship—teaching confidence and unique voice | | 83:48 | Advice to younger women and the value of embracing risk and failure | | 88:57 | Writing a Blasian romance, K-dramas obsession, and venturing into new creative territory |

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Tone and Authenticity

The conversation is raw, humorous, and unfiltered—true to Sherri Shepherd’s signature blend of honesty and comedic timing. Sherri moves fluidly between laughter and vulnerability, revealing her setbacks, lessons, and hard-won wisdom. Both Tamsen and Sherri foster an atmosphere of encouragement, relatability, and deep respect for resilience, making this episode both touching and motivating for listeners at any stage of life.

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Takeaway

Sherri’s Story = Proof of Possibility:
Whether you’re chasing a dream, weathering setbacks, or facing fear, Sherri Shepherd’s path proves you can “do it scared”—and succeed. Lean into faith, laughter, friendship, and the wisdom of mentors. Take big risks, refuse to let fear paralyze you, and surround yourself with the people who believe in you.

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Follow-Up

For updates, behind-the-scenes, and future episodes:
@thetamsenshow

Sherri’s new projects:

• Children’s book: The Sunshine Queens
• Upcoming Blasian romance novel (stay tuned for title!)

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“If you can get past the fear, that’s where the treasure trove of opportunities are. So… do it scared.” — Sherri Shepherd ([86:49])

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

I thought, oh, this is it. This is my big break. That was probably the most depressing to know that I was on Friends to go downstairs and sit on a park bench and eat my lunch that I had made because I couldn't afford to buy a lunch and want to scream out to everybody. I was on Friends. I was that girl that said, I'm Rhonda. These aren't real.

[A]

Cheri Shepherd's an award winning actress, a comedian, author and talk show host whose path to success was an anything but ordinary.

[B]

And this is how well they knew me, Tamsen. She goes, are you in jail, Sherry? And I go, yeah, I need to take my vacation. I think I'm going to be here like about a week or so.

[A]

What are you talking about you went to jail? Why'd you go to jail? Now, as the author of the children's book the Sunshine Queens, she's sharing how friendship and sisterhood have shaped every single part of her career.

[B]

You couldn't pay to get the lessons that I got for free from Barbara Walters. Sat me down and she said, you've got to project more confidence when you sit at the table. If you don't start interrupting and start saying what you believe, tell me why you are saying no.

[A]

You became a mom. That was another big pivotal moment.

[B]

I delivered him at a pound 10 ounces and he was in the NICU. The prognosis was really bad and during that time I just couldn't smile. I couldn't make anybody laugh. I just was feeling a lot of guilt because that's when I found out that there was infidelity. They kept saying the quality of Jeffrey's life is going to be bad. I just looked at him, my baby, to say Goodbye. And they went to disconnect the breathing tube so that he could take his last breath in my arms.

[A]

If you ever have just one dream that will not leave you alone, the one that keeps whispering, don't give up yet, even when the world says it's too late. That is a story of Sherri Shepherd. She's an Emmy award winning host, a comedian, an author, a podcaster. The list goes on. In a woman who went from. From a $350 Hollywood apartment, wondering if she would ever make it to her name on a star just blocks from where she used to pray for a break. Today, she is the host of the Sheri Show. But what got her here isn't luck. It's grit, faith, and laughter that comes from surviving the hard things. This episode is for every woman rebuilding her life, every woman chasing that dream that feels like it's out of reach or who needs proof that it is still possible. Sherri shepherd, welcome to the Tamsen Show.

[B]

Tamsen. Hey.

[A]

It's so good to see you.

[B]

It's good to see you, too.

[A]

I know we were together a little bit earlier this week. You have a star now officially on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

[B]

Oh, my gosh.

[A]

How do you feel?

[B]

It's still surreal. Like knowing that I have a star cemented on the ground. It's surreal, you know, knowing this is part of my legacy. It's surreal thinking that. Or knowing that there will be somebody walking down the street who will look at my star if they recognize my name. Come on, come on. Because, I mean, let's be honest, I'm like 2,882, the second person that got a star. I remember that. Out of 2,882.

[A]

Nobody else knows that. Nobody else knows those numbers.

[B]

But there are people, you know, when you walk down there, you go, oh, okay. Who's Ernestine Kachepek? What did Ernestine Kachepek do? Does anybody know who Ernestine Kachepek is? So there might be some people who just go, I don't know who Sherry Shepek is. But for purposes of the fantasy that's in my head, they will see the Sherri shepherd star and they will go, wow, I wonder if. If she did it. I wonder if I could do that, too. I wonder if I could have a star like hers. So that is very surreal to me. It's overwhelming to know that that's forever. Unless we have another 5.5 earthquake and it happens to be on Hollywood and our guy, where my doggone star is because I don't know if they replaced those. I don't know. After like an earthquake, are you replaced? I don't know what happens for replacing. Do you gotta make your own star? You know, like, so unless they have like a natural disaster, which I am praying it doesn't happen on Hollywood Nargyl it is really my heart is so full of gratitude.

[A]

I was watching you stand there and I'm like, what does it feel like standing there looking down at your name? Like in what was running through your mind with that full circle moment of knowing, I was blown away that you lived down the street. You lived on Argyle, right?

[B]

I lived on Franklin and Argyle.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So you looked over this area and your star happens to be there now.

[B]

It was just surreal because I just knew up until that point all of the things that I had done to get to the point of seeing my name on a star. And it was so vivid. It was Argyle on Franklin, between Yucca and Argyll, that's where it was. I just knew the heartache and the tears and the grit, like you said, that I had to have the. You know, I still have tears in my journal when I wrote in it. When I would bomb at the club, you know, when I was, you know, taking the bus everywhere, when I didn't have a place to live. All of that I remembered. And then I remember those people who believed in me along the way. Like, my first agent was there. It was actually two of them. And when I left them because I needed to go to a bigger agent. But I had been with them for about seven years. And when I finally left them, they cried. They cried because we had such a personal relationship. And one of the agents ended up just leaving the business. He bought a construction company in Newark. He still was. It was painful for him and he didn't come. But his partner was there. And when I saw Mike Eisenstadt, I just remembered how I would hear him begging people to let me in the audition when he talked to the casting director for Friends. My memorable part on Friends. I'm Rhonda. These aren't real. Hey, Peter from P.S. 179. I gave you my snack pack. They didn't want a black woman. They were looking specifically for white actress to play that role. And Mike Eisenstadt was on the phone. I was in the room. Cause I had nothing to do and nowhere to go. So a lot of times I just go to their office and just hang out, helping them staple resumes and pictures and stuff. And I remember him saying, just see her. I Know, she doesn't have a strong resume of acting, but she's a comic, she's funny. Just all you gotta do is get Sherry in the door. Agents don't do that a lot now. So to have someone actually say, beg a person because they knew, once you get in the door, Sherry, it's all yours. And that is what happened. Once I got in that door, I took that audition over and I got the part. So to see him.

[A]

A memorable part. A memorable part.

[B]

A memorable part that was like always one of the top 10 friends episode. And to see that person sitting right there knowing he got me my first role on Suddenly Susan, which he had to. And then I became a regular on the show. They negotiated my View contract, I was with them. And I remembered when I had to leave in order to get other stuff. So I would look at, you know, my boss who was there, who I made stand up to say, I keep telling people I was in jail for eight days. You've gotta verify this because it's so farcical.

[A]

Right, right.

[B]

So Sandy Williams, who was my boss at Irvin, Cohen and Jessup, the law firm in Beverly Hills. Then I would see all of the stars when I went on the bus to get to Beverly Hills, stand up and let these people know I called you from jail and said, I wanna take my vacation, cuz I'm gonna be here for a minute.

[A]

And nobody could imagine. People look at you today and they're like, you went to jail. What are you talking about? You went to jail. Why'd you go to jail?

[B]

So I used to be a Jehovah's Witness and we always thought that Armageddon. Most people know what Armageddon is. Cause you've had a Jehovah's Witness knock on your door. If you didn't have one knock at your door, you know, somebody, somebody in your family is a Jehovah's Witness. This is like one step away from Kevin Bacon. And because they thought Armageddon was gonna come in 1995. So since I wasn't a Jehovah's Witness anymore, I still believe the teachings, but I was like, well, I'm not gonna make it when Armageddon comes. I'm not going up there to heaven. I'm gonna go to sleep eternally. And I wasn't paying my bills, I literally was like, cause Armageddon's about to come and why don't I just, you know, just buy everything. And I wasn't thinking. Yeah, I was young, young, young people don't think about the future. And they don't think about the long term stuff. So whenever I had a car, I kept getting my cars repossessed. So I had a car and the insurance was. I don't even think I had insurance. But the registration.

[A]

I love you. You're so honest about everything.

[B]

Yeah, I didn't have insurance. I drove for so long. And kitties don't try this at home. Don' because it's bad. So because I didn't have insurance, somebody hit my car. And I didn't even have a window. So when it would rain, I would put a garbage bag over my arm so that the raindrops wouldn't wet up my arm. And I had to climb in and out of the window. Can you imagine going up to valet.

[A]

No.

[B]

And leaving your car. And they have to climb in the window to move it. So I was climbing in and out of the window, which is really why I would get stopped. Cause the door was bashed in. Because I had no insurance, but my registration was accepted. So when the police would stop me, that's a moving violation. They would give me a ticket, which you're supposed to appear in court. I would throw it in the glove compartment. Cause I'm like, ah, Jesus is coming. The end of the world is coming. Why am I going to court?

[A]

I'm not paying that ticket.

[B]

I'm not paying that ticket. I'm gonna go buy some clothes. I'm going forever 21, you know. So it accumulated the amount of tickets by the time they actually I got stopped for the 22nd time. I was on my way to the Comedy Store. It happened to be Martin Luther King weekend. So I was on my way to the Comedy Store and that's when they stopped me. And I just knew this was probably gonna be the day that I go to jail. Something inside me, a gut feeling. It was just a gut feeling. My grandmother says the spirit said. I knew the spirit was saying, this is the day you're going to jail. And I pulled in, I threw my keys underneath my seat because I didn't want them to tow my car. I knew my girlfriend could come and get the car. And I think we were in Koreatown because all of the people came out of their shops and were looking at me. And the police came. And when they take a long time to verify stuff, it's like I knew I was going to jail. But it turned out that I had $10,000 worth of bench warrants because I had not appeared in court. And they said, we gotta arrest you. And I Was like, yep. I knew that was about to happen.

[A]

Let's go.

[B]

It was like a Friday, and I knew it was about to happen. And that's when I got the one call. And I called. I don't remember if I called Sandy, my boss. I begged him to do two calls. But I called my sister. She said, oh, my God. I said, where's Mom? I'm in jail. She goes, don't pick up the soap. And I go, that's a men's prison. It's not a woman's prison. Geez Louise. And then I talked to Sandy and I said, sandy. And this is how well they knew me, Tamsen. She goes, are you in jail, Sherry? And I go, yeah, I need to take my vacation that I have accumulated. Cause I think I'm gonna.

[A]

From the law firm.

[B]

From the law firm. I think I'm gonna be here, like, about a week or so.

[A]

Nobody could help you at the law firm.

[B]

They were, like, so used to this. If you interview my friends at the law firm, Sandy will tell you she wanted to fire me so many times.

[A]

Aww.

[B]

But everybody at the law firm loved me so much, including her. I made everybody laugh. I just always got my check garnished or had to go to jail. Or I would call and say, oh, my God, I gotta audition. I can't come in. Can you tell them I have cramps? And so they were so used to me, but they loved me. I even go by them now. If I'm over in la, I'll drive by Beverly Hills. I'll go hang out at the reception desk, and they will come out and go, you can't hang out here, Sherry. This is why you got fired the first time. You're distracting everybody. So when you. Sandy was there, those memories of the struggle, I needed her to stand up and validate the fact that, yes, I was in jail, but to look at her and know you kept me. You went to all of the clubs. Her and Donetta, my other co worker, who told me, sheri, if you don't do this, you'll never know. All the other secretaries were so protective. They didn't want me to quit.

[A]

You were working at the law firm? And is that when you knew? Did you already know? You wanted to do comedy then, or.

[B]

No, no, it was the law firm. I was always the lively one. Legal secretary. Secretaries, you work. If you have kids, you have to go home and take care of your kids. But we're in bed by, like, nine o'. Clock. There's nothing to do. So I told Everybody, all my girlfriends. I was like, let's do something. Come on, let's live. We never do anything. We work overtime. We get our money. We got our Christmas club money.

[A]

9 to 5.

[B]

9 to 5. So they said, cherry, you plan it. So I used to always, when I took the number three bus on Sunset, I would see this thing called the Comedy Store. And I would see people lined up as I'm looking out the window. Because I would sometimes go to one end on the bus and the other end because I didn't have any place to sleep. I was getting evicted all the time. And the other part of the story. The other part of the story. So nobody got home in time for me to sleep on a couch. So sometimes I just ride on the bus. But I saw this comedy club and I said to them, what if we go and see standup? I've never seen standup before. And we went to Sizzlers, and we got all you could eat shrimp and that French toast. Remember that buttered toast?

[A]

Yes, of course. Of course I do.

[B]

And we got fat Sizzlers. And then afterwards, there was an 8 o' clock show. We stood in line, and it was so exciting because above the main room door were all of the comics. Richard Pryor, all of these comics.

[A]

The legend.

[B]

It was the legend. It was all of these. And I was like, oh, my gosh.

[A]

What are we doing?

[B]

And we got in the comedy club and we all sat there, and I just happened to be making everybody laugh around me. I don't know what I was doing. I was so excited to be there. Your energy, my energy. And they were getting such a kick out of me. And, you know, then all of these comics got up. Charlie Fleischer got up. There was an Asian American woman named Tamayo Atsuki. She got up. And then Eddie Griffin got up. And Eddie Griffin, I saw people, like, moving forward and going backwards as one, because he was so funny, and everything he said I could relate to. And then Andrew Dice Clay, what, Walked on the stage, and everybody lost their sh. Can I curse on this thing?

[A]

Yes, you can.

[B]

They lost their shit. When Andrew Dice Clay with the. He had to turn up, you know, leather jacket and the collar, and he was like, hickory dickory dock, your wife's mouth is on mic. And I was like. But he was very polarizing.

[A]

That night was surreal.

[B]

It was surreal to me. And I'm watching these people on stage, and what I saw was them commanding the crowd. And what I saw when I looked around was everybody was leaning forward. And just by what they said made people laugh, and. And you just felt better. And the women that I made laugh in front of me. One of the women leaned back and she said, you're as funny as him. Like, you should be up there.

[A]

A woman in their audience.

[B]

A woman in the audience and that just. I'm such a big belief that you're. You know, when you speak, there's even a scripture. It says, the power of death and life are in the tongue. What you say to a person can build them up or it can destroy their spirit. Which is why I am who I am and why I come from places, from light and love and laughter. Cause I wanna build you up. I wanna plant seeds of positivity. And what she did. I wish to this day I knew who that woman was. I would probably go buy her a car in an apartment building for how she changed my life. Because when she said that to me, the comedian ceased to exist. It literally is like slow motion being underwater, because that's all I thought about. Could I do that? Could I get on that stage and do what those people did? And when I walked out of the comedy club, all the other secretaries went home. I was waiting for the bus to go back to where I lived. And Eddie Griffin and Andrew were standing outside leaning on the. The wall. I was trying to figure out, how do I go up and talk to them? Because I was scared. And I went up to them and I said, how do you. How do you do that? And they were like, do what? And Dice was smoking and Eddie was smoking, and I said, what? You do? Like, how do I. And that's how I was stuttering. How do I do that? And I don't remember which one it was. I give credit to both. One of them said, just do it. And I said, but I'm scared. One of them said, then do it, scared. And that has been my mantra for my life. That's another seed that was planted. And I don't care what anybody says about Andrew Dice Clay. I will always love that man. I will always. When I became a regular at the Comedy store After auditioning 20, 23 times, I had to audition, and I got to know him better. He'd always tell me how huge my breasts were, how he loved my breasts. And I was like, thank you. Like, it will never be an insult to me.

[A]

Right? Right.

[B]

Because he changed my life. Eddie Griffin changed my life. Just that one encounter. And from there, I went home and I called up every secretary. I think it was 11 of us. And I said, what do you Think. Do you think I could do that? And they all said, yeah, we think you could do it. But don't do it, because you're making $40,000 a year with all of your overtime. You got the Christmas club, you got your pension, the 401k. Like, you're making a good living back then. 40,000. But it was always being garnish.

[A]

It's safety, right?

[B]

It's the safety net. And they were like, sheri, this business of Hollywood takes you 10, 20 years to make it. If you ever make it, you'll be struggling. You're gonna have to be a waitress. Like, you're. It's stable here. And I said, okay. And the last person I called was Donetta. She was there. And I said, danetta, what do you think? And Danetta said, honey, if you don't try it, you'll never know. Which is another mantra I live by. She said, you gotta try it. And so I signed up for. I looked up some comedy. And they had these comedy classes, but it was $600, and they had garnished my check. But all of those secretaries who told me no put the money in and paid for my six weeks of comedy classes.

[A]

Oh, my gosh.

[B]

They put the $600 together so that I could go and take standup comedy. They all believed in me. Probably three are no longer here, but Danetta is here, and some of the other girls. They've come to my show. They've come to my weddings. They always have been a part of my life. Cause I need them so that when I look in their face, that was the start of the journey of Sherri. And it was important they both flew in, that they be there to share that star with me because they knew what I've been through. They would come to all of my comedy clubs, and I would bomb Tamsen. Oh, my God.

[A]

I can't even picture that. I can't even picture it.

[B]

Girl 1. One bar we went to. Cause wherever they had an open mic is where I would go. Sandy was dressed to the nines in her suit. She's the head of human resources. Danetta, all the other secretaries were there. And there was a biker bar. Girl was Confederate flags everywhere. Sandy said, where are we at? They had videos. All these dudes on the Harleys.

[A]

Right, right.

[B]

You know, it was some kind of biker car.

[A]

And you're doing comedy.

[B]

Girl, I was doing comedy. I didn't care where I played, what I said. I didn't care wherever there was a stage and a microphone. But Sandy's like, There's Confederate flags everywhere. And I was like, yeah. So I'm like, my son, bro. So what's the problem? She's like, you don't even know the meaning, you dumbass. Where are we at? But when I tell you, I got up and I had. All the guys were screaming with laughter, which is why comedy is comedy and music can unite people. That's what I found out that night. They were howling so much. So they took all of us, six black secretaries out in the back. And Sandy was like, where are you taking us? Where are we going? They took us in the back of the bar to show us all their Harleys and then offered to, like, build. They were like. They called Sandy, like, big mom or something. They, like, wanted to. One biker liked you. He's like, I'll build you this. Like, you can ride on the back of my back, mama.

[A]

Your journey, though, it's unbelievable.

[B]

So, you know, it was like they had so many stories and it just was important to look out and see them because they were at the beginning of my journey when I said, I am going to try this and I've never stopped.

[A]

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[B]

Do this, why don't you do that?

[A]

And that change that impacted you so much, when did you go full time into stand up or how did that work?

[B]

Oh, gosh.

[A]

You were doing that while you were working at the same time I was.

[B]

Doing it while I was working at the law firm. They had to talk to me. They called me in the office so many times to talk to me and warn me, if you come in late one more time, if you do this one more time. But you know, I was out all night doing the comedy clubs. That's where I got my energy. Because my mom at the same time was slowly dying of diabetic complications. So I was driving an hour and a half to see her in San Bernardino and walk her around all night. Cause she was in so much pain. I was dealing with a family member who was on drugs. So being on stage was the only thing that made me happy. And I would do it anywhere I could get on stage. And then I would go to the law firm and work. And then I'd go get my nieces and nephews. Cause their mom didn't come home for three days. So I would go and get them. So standup comedy was that thing that just. And I didn't have a place to stay. Then my car was repossessed. Then I'm hitching rides everywhere to get to, you know, far away places, four hours away in Victorville, just to do 10 minutes on stage.

[A]

And you've never stopped being on stage, like, even. Even with the show, even with all the success, even with everything. I still look at you on social media and I'm like, what city is she in?

[B]

Where is she this weekend?

[A]

What is she doing? You're still on tour. It's. It's.

[B]

I can't not be on stage.

[A]

Why is that? It's just. It's. It's that. It's a. It's a. It's just there. Like you'll always be there.

[B]

I think a lot of people don't know that I'm stand up. I'm a standup comic. I stopped to go to acting classes with a guy, some Svengali in Hollywood. I always love him. He had gold chains and his shirt open to his stomach. And he would tell people, you want to be a star? Then you come to my acting class. But he passed away. But I always love him because it was like let's see. I was still doing standup, but I didn't like being on the road because it was just hard for women. Being on the road was dangerous. It was. You know, frequently I'd be on the road doing these gigs. I take off from the law firm. And what the male comics tend to do is they got groupies. So after the show ends, they disappear on you. The people you rode with, who gave you a ride. Then how am I supposed to get back to my hotel room? Now I'm stuck here. And then, you know, when you're on stage, you're talking about stuff. I think at the time I was young, I was talking about being horny. Okay, that was on stage. Now I'm at a bar with the bartender, you know, and with the other patrons. It was not fun trying to figure out how I'm gonna get home. And then, you know, people giving me a ride home, and they're like, yeah, but I'm not going home. And I'm going, no. Well, you can't come with me.

[A]

Being on that is dangerous. It really is dangerous.

[B]

It really is. And being in hotel rooms on the first floor now, I never am on the first floor because having to put a chair underneath your door because you're somewhere in some little town, you know, and you don't. You're in a motel. So it was very dangerous, and it was very scary. Sometimes I just said, I don't like that. I don't want to be on the road just driving with a bunch of comics that I don't know. And if they get mad at you, they could go, get out of the car. I don't know where I'm at. And so I decided as I was on the bus again, there was this acting school. And I said, let me go. And I went to this acting school, Van Mawr Academy. He would have been there if he'd been alive. Ivan Marcota. And his shirt was unbuttoned to his stomach. Chains all in his hair. He had a toupee on. And I was all the way in the back row. I didn't want to be seen. I come from the Comedy Store, and I just was depressed. I was like, my life is just shit. I don't have anywhere to live.

[A]

And how old are you now?

[B]

Addicted. I'm in my 20s. I'm in my late 20s, I think. And I just was like, nothing is going right. I'm doing the standup. I don't like it. Like, I thought I was in love with this person. He's Cheating with this person, like, cheating is in my life. And then somebody planting seeds. So I'm like, it's just. You know, it was just horrible. And I'm sitting back there, and he's giving the spiel to everybody about how much they gotta pay. And he says, you know, everybody's gonna be a star. He goes, but you, baby. You gonna be a star. And I'm turning around, like, who is he talking to? And he goes, you, baby. You in the back. You're gonna be a star. Stop.

[A]

Another seed.

[B]

Yeah. And I'm going, he says that to everybody. But he didn't. He only said it to me that night. And it was probably 80 people in the room. Wow. And he said, you're gonna be a star, baby. And he always took special interest in me. It wasn't like I was doing anything. I wasn't on tv. I wasn't a name. I just was a standup comic who would go to this class. And I told him, I said, they garnished my check. I don't have much money. And I paid him $50. And he was like, I don't need anything else. And he always took a special interest in me. Ivan Marcota, I will never forget.

[A]

I love how you don't ever forget those people, though. I mean, that the audience that was there when you got your star in the Walk of Fame, there were all those pivotal point. I mean, you pointed them out, all the people that could be there, that were there. Up to Tyler Perry, whose movie you just did recently. So it was really. What was your big break, Sheri? When did you feel it turned around?

[B]

My big break? I was always doing stuff along the way. Like, even when I did Friends, I thought, oh, this is it. This is my big break. To end up going back to the law firm the next week.

[A]

After Friends.

[B]

After Friends, I worked for David Schwimmer's father, who was a lawyer. Sure, I was working. You know, you get a job at a temp. I was wearing all these temp agencies. And I went. That was probably the most depressing to know that I was on Friendship. He had a big picture of the Friends, you know, where they're hugging each other on his wall at the law firm. And I'm typing all these documents going. I was on that show to go downstairs and sit on a park bench and eat my lunch that I had made. Cause I couldn't afford to buy a lunch. So I'd eat my little peanut butter jelly sandwich and want to scream out to everybody, I was on Friends. I was that girl that said, I'm Rhonda. These aren't real. Nobody's recognizing me, and I'm eating my little peanut butter and jelly. But those are those sandwich.

[A]

Those are the things that people hear and realize. Like, you have the don't give up. You have the don't give up.

[B]

I love being on stage. I love. That was the only thing that was like my happy place was acting and standup. Cause like I said, my life, the personal side of it was just chaotic. You know, it was not fun getting evicted and being on the bus, of course not having your clothes in a pillowcase. And like, I never had to live on the streets. I was always able to stay on a couch. But having an. You know, I was with an abusive boyfriend who had. Stalking me, running away from him. You know, like I said, my mom always having to take her to the hospital because of her diabetes, my sister being on drugs, having to go get my, you know, my nieces and nephews out of a crack house. That was my life. And wandering up and down Hollywood Boulevard and Sunset. So there were things that just gave me calm, you know, The Hollywood that I was at when I got to star is much, much different from the Hollywood that I lived in. Because the Hollywood that I lived in was teenage runaways, prostitutes, you know, drug addicts, people who are unsavory characters. It was not. It was very dangerous.

[A]

It wasn't the pretty Hollywood that ever.

[B]

It's not the pretty Hollywood like right now. It's all the sparkles, high rises, everything. I said, Hollywood is clean. You know, there was no subway system. It was just, you rode the bus.

[A]

But the stage saved you. Really.

[B]

The stage saved my life. And literally. And the scenarios that I found myself in just to get on the stage was sometimes not the best scenarios. Like I said, I just needed to be on stage. I didn't care where the stage was. If it was five hours away, if the bus got me there, then I would go. Now, sometimes I didn't think, okay, well, the bus don't go back this late. So how do you get back home? I got back home.

[A]

You figured it out.

[B]

I figured it out.

[A]

I want to go back to the Friends audition that you had to beg to be on. And sitting in the office and listening to the agent do that. What was that like for you? Because to listen to somebody push back against it isn't so amazing. What did that teach you? Or I mean, that was maybe a belief in people and then a note, not so much belief in somebody else. Because that was a show that had no diversity in it. And clearly to what you're saying, wasn't looking for it.

[B]

It's so funny because there's a lot of black people that just didn't watch Friends because there was no black people on there. We are Living Single. That was the show that we had. That was our Friends. And we all knew that it wasn't diverse, but it wasn't like I was marching up and down going. I just didn't watch it. And I tell you, I never came back. Even though I really made a difference, I didn't realize what I did was bad at that time. When you would do a TV show or movie, you would go and you would get postcards made. You take a picture to a printing shop, which there's not many of those now, to a printing shop. They'd make 100 postcards. You go to Samuel French and you'd buy labels of all of the casting directors in Hollywood. All of the directors, all of the producers. You put slap these labels on the postcards and you would mail them to everybody. That's how people knew. It's not. There was no Twitter. There was no Instagram or Facebook. And you can make cute little videos and skits. None of that. The hard work was going and passing these out, trying to figure out how you could get on the Warner Brothers lot to go into all of these places and leave your postcard. Oh, my gosh. That's how you always had to try to figure out, how can I get on this lot to go where there's a casting director and say, can I leave this with you? I'm gonna be on tv. Yep. And so with Friends, I got the bright idea. I had a colored postcard made of me in color, and on the back, I said, friends finally got some color. That's what I. And I had the bright idea. I thought it was so cute, girl. And I said, I'm gonna send this to everybody, including Marta Kaufman, somebody. Kramer, Kaufman, Kramer and somebody else. They were the big producing team behind Friends. And I was like, oh, they gonna love this.

[A]

They're gonna get a kick out of this.

[B]

I didn't know. It was like a thorn in their side. Oh, my God. That they really were getting a lot of backlash because there were no. There was no diversity, you know? Cause I can name, like, Aisha Tyler was on there. She played love interest Gabrielle Union. Another guy, he played the lawyer. I can't remember his name Right. He played the lawyer. And it wasn't many black people.

[A]

No.

[B]

We all know who was on there. The black folks, when we see each other. And I thought, oh, they'll love this and call me back. I think I offended them when they got that, because they ne. I thought for sure they're gonna call me back.

[A]

Right, Right.

[B]

I think it kind of triggered them. And I never was on Friends again.

[A]

But that episode was so memorable.

[B]

But the episode was so memorable.

[A]

The episode, you remember, I was used.

[B]

To when I did auditions one offs, when I did a little guest star. And it wasn't even a guest star. That was under. That was probably. It was called an under three, under five. The under five lines, which meant you were. It was under five lines that you had. You weren't paid like a guest star.

[A]

Right.

[B]

My first big guest star was Suddenly Susan.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

And so it was just. You got your SAG rate. But what would frequently happen, Tamsen, is because I would steal the seat. I used to be known as the black girl who was on all the white sitcoms because I was booking so.

[A]

Many of those and stealing the scenes.

[B]

And stealing the scenes. They would write I was a sassy black girl. That's the thing that black women laugh about. Niecy Nash and I, Yvette Nicole Brown, we'll sit there and go the different shades of sassy. Cause they would say, we need a sassy black woman. Now. You can't say that Sassy. You want sassy? I'm sassy. And so usually what would happen, my agents knew this all I wanted. I would steal the scene, and they would call me back. So I was so surprised that they never called me back on Friends. And I think it was that daughter, as you think back girl, I'm telling you, I was like, it was that damn postcard.

[A]

I'm just wondering if that's what it was.

[B]

Friends finally got some color. The breakout role, though, for me, I think was probably, like, Suddenly Susan.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because I would do so many things, and it'd get canceled like it never got off the ground.

[A]

Suddenly Susan.

[B]

Suddenly Susan was one that stayed. And I did a guest star. And they immediately called me back to be a series regular. And that's when I thought, okay, all my dreams are about to come true now.

[A]

How old are you now?

[B]

Oh, my gosh. Let me see. I probably was in my 30s, early 30s, because that's when I started lying about my age. So I get confused.

[A]

That's when we had to lie about our age.

[B]

Yeah, you had to. My manager was like, you can't. You have to tell me, like, 27 or 24. And I'm like, I'm not even near 24. But I lied about my age. So I believe I was in my early 30s when I got suddenly Susan. And I thought, okay, now I can finally, like, I don't have to worry about being evicted. I can get a house. I made it. I made it. This is like, I bought, like, I bought, like, a little tiny house. 13936 Khalifa. That was my house on Khalifa Street.

[A]

You have such a good memory, man.

[B]

I can't even remember.

[A]

I don't remember what happened yesterday.

[B]

Most times I can't remember what happens yesterday. I think pivotal things in my life or if it was really traumatic, I remember it. But I moved into this house and I was so happy because it just. It was a little two bedroom, had a little pool. I paid. Oh, my gosh, it was like $90,000. We can get a house for $90,000, right?

[A]

Right.

[B]

I put $9,000 down as a down payment. And I was so happy, I said, finally, this is mine. Nobody can evict me. I can pay my mortgage. And that's when Brooke Shields said, I need to talk to you. She said, we just got canceled. And I was like, you gotta be kidding me. So I only did. It was only one season of Suddenly Susan, but I got to work with Eric Idle from Fawlty Towers. And, you know, I got to work with Eric. I think his name was Eric. He was also in Fawlty Towers. I can't remember his last name. He was the English actor. And because I work with him, he told John Cleese about me. And then they called me in for another audition, which I booked Wednesday, 9, 38, 30 Central. It was won by the man who wrote Gods and Monsters, who had won an Oscar. And he wrote this brilliantly scathing, you know, sitcom. And I played a black. A token black woman who was in a wheelchair.

[A]

What was that?

[B]

It was called Wednesday night, 3830 Central. It was about a fictional network based on Fox. Okay, A fictional network. The willy nilly of how we put a show on the air. And everybody was not qualified. We had no idea what we were doing.

[A]

But the show was going on.

[B]

The show was going on. And I happened to be the secretary. I played the secretary who they needed a vice president of development, and they picked me because they needed a token black woman. And I happened to walk in the room and go, do you want your coffee? Sassy black woman, do you want your coffee? I'm not getting your coffee. And they were like, we're making you the vice president of the, of the network. And it was just, it was like a brilliantly written sitcom about Fox. And it hit a lot of buttons and they canceled us after like half a season.

[A]

Cause it hit the buttons.

[B]

It hit so many buttons. It was one of those ones that it would do great now. Yeah, of course, it was before its time.

[A]

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[B]

No, I was just doing stand up. I was doing stand up at all of the clubs. I was a regular and acting and doing like little parts here and there. So I was a regular at the Laugh Factory. I would go and stand in line on Wednesdays to sign up to do their open mic. And then they finally made me a regular. I was a regular at the Improv. I would stand in line to do their open mics and they saw me and Mark Lonow made me a regular at that club. And then I would go all the way over off Crenshaw and do the black club with all of the black comics, the Jamie Foxxes, the Chris Tuckers. All of those comics I would do over there on the other side in the hood at the comedy act. And then I would go all the way to Long beach, to the Birdland West. I was everywhere.

[A]

But you never stopped.

[B]

I never stopped doing standup.

[A]

You became a mom. That was another big pivotal moment. When was that?

[B]

That was during standup. I met my husband, who's by now in one of the funniest comics at the Improv. He was so funny. And we were best friends. And, you know, we ended up dating, I think for six years. And then we got married. Because I, being a Jehovah's Witness was like, if you want sex, you gotta put a ring on this finger. I can't now. Did I necessarily wanna get married? No. But it was what I was taught. We can't be living together. And I said, believe you me. Cause I made him wait. I was like, the lid is coming off this freak. When I get a ring on my finger, that's the one thing. And he said it in court too, during our divorce. He said the lid never came off the freak. The lid. I couldn't even pry the damn lid Open. That was one time when we were in court. I had to laugh.

[A]

I was like, you have to laugh about that.

[B]

You are funny. Can't stand you, but you are hysterical.

[A]

I'm divorcing you, but you are funny.

[B]

When I tell you. The judge even chuckled. So, yeah, we got married. Brooke Shields came to the wedding. Kathy Griffin was there. I had done. I had done suddenly Susan. And we got married. And that's when I had. You know, I had a business manager, I had my agents, and it was great. And so it was infidelity. And then, you know, Jeffrey was born at 25 weeks. He was a pound 10 ounces, so he was called a micro preemie. And I had. I was twins, actually. It was a boy and a girl because I had done in vitro, put it all on my American Express card. Do you know how many points I had on that daggone card?

[A]

Sure.

[B]

So I put it all on my American Express card, the whole in vitro process. And so it was twins. It was a boy and it was a girl. And I was walking the dogs, and I fell. So they basically said, you're gonna lose both of them. Just go and lay down. I was on bed rest and lost his sister. But that little one boy, he kept hanging on. He wasn't going anywhere. And I was reading my Bible scriptures every day just to get me through. And that's when I had him and then found out that it was infidelity, you know, with my husband. So it still wasn't good. Jeffrey was in the hospital, like, three or four months. And finally, when he got to be four pounds, he was able to come home, but he was having seizures and all kinds of things.

[A]

And you're doing this all by yourself?

[B]

Yeah, the husband was around. You know, he was around. But I stopped doing comedy for a year. I just couldn't smile. I couldn't laugh. And my father said, just put all of that on the shelf with a fine china. You'll get back to it. And I said, I don't think I'm gonna laugh again. Cause I got this little boy who they're telling me, because we also went to pull the plug on him because they were telling me that he was gonna have severe cerebral palsy. This is when they use the R word. They don't say retarded anymore. But that's what they said he was gonna have mental. Like, it was just. The prognosis was really bad. And during that time, I just couldn't smile. I couldn't make anybody laugh. I couldn't I just was feeling a lot of guilt because that's when I found out that there was infidelity. I didn't know that you have to keep drinking water to, like, replenish your amniotic fluid. Now, I didn't know any of that. I got some lady who was my doctor, she just didn't tell me all that. I'm not blaming her. And so I didn't. When I found out there was infidelity, I stopped eating and drinking for like three days. I was so depressed. And that day on my birthday, I was gonna take a limo to Lowe's Hotel on the beach. I love the water. Can't swim for nothing, but I love the water. And I just wanted to be calm. Thank God I didn't. Cause I went into labor. They had to rush me to the hospital on my birthday and that.

[A]

How far along were you there?

[B]

I was. I was 25 weeks. 25 weeks. In between, that is when I did the View. In between, that is when I flew out. I was on bed rest and I flew out. I had been trying to get on the View like my entire. When they were on and when I was doing a show, it was called Less Than Perfect. That's what it was. With Andy Dick and Sarah Rue and Zachary Levi. So many people. Everybody did the View. They all went on the View. And they were guests. They were guests. They would never have me on the View. That man called Bill Getty and Barbara Walters never let me on the View. And my publicist wouldn't stop calling them. And so I'm on bed rest. And Johnnie Cochran. Johnnie Cochran died.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

And so Starr Jones had to leave and go to his funeral. And my publicist happened to call, and Bill Getty said, if she can be here tomorrow, we'll let her co host. I just wanna sit on the couch. But they didn't want me on the couch. Cause Bill Getty didn't think I could talk for five minutes. That's exactly why they didn't book me. They didn't think I could hold a conversation with the ladies for five minutes. So I flew out there, pregnant, on bed rest, not supposed to be flying, bleeding. Cause I kept bleeding from the time they would push me in a wheelchair. And then I got out the wheelchair and I walked and sat down. That was my first time on the View. And I didn't really have anything to talk about. Rosie was there. I think I talked about. I think the first thing out of my mouth was, girl, yeah, my husband cheated on me. And I know. Da, Da. Da, da. Cause I got diarrhea of the mouth.

[A]

Right, right.

[B]

And they were also taken with. It's worked. I mean, literally. Barbara Walters was like, who is that? Who is this creature who just has no filter on her mouth? And she's just talking and telling all of her business, and she's so funny. And they came to me and asked me to be a regular. And I said, what for? A regular for who? They were gonna let Star Jones go, but Starr didn't know about this.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

And I said, I don't want to be a part of no mess. I don't like drama. Black people say it's an A and B conversation. We gonna see our way out. That's one of the sayings of black people. And that's what I said. Barbara looked at me like, what the hell are you talking about?

[A]

What does that mean?

[B]

What does that mean? And I said, absolutely not. I don't wanna. You know. And I left. And as soon as I got back home, got back on bed rest, they called me again because Joy liked me so much. Behar.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

She said, when I go out of town to do standup, I want you to call Sherri. So they immediately called me. My doctor said, you should not do it. But I'm like, this is my. I've been trying to get on the View for so long. And I said, am I gonna have the baby? She said, no, but it's not good. And I said, well, if I'm not gonna have the baby, I'm going. That was not good. And I flew out there and I killed it again. That was when the fight between Rosie o' Donnell and Elizabeth Hasselbeck happened, of course. And it was an eye. Made Rosie laugh, I made Elizabeth laugh. And because I made both of them be relaxed, they both wanted me to come, to come back, of course. So in between that, I was going to do the View. I was flying back, Flying back and forth. Yeah. And doing the View, went into labor. And I think it was too much. It was too much. Cause on bed rest means bed rest.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it was too much trauma on Jeffrey. That's one thing that probably has been the thing that I have not been able to get over. The guilt that Jeffrey came so early. Cause he was like, it's just dangerous in here. This is the lady not taking care of me. Maybe it'll be better outside. But he fought to come.

[A]

Yes, he did.

[B]

And I delivered him at a pound ten ounces. And he was in the nicu. Praise God for any nicu. Nurse or doctor. They took such good care of my baby. And when I tell you Niecy Nash was with me, there were so many things wrong. He had a hole in his intestines. It was, like, all blue, bruised and yucky. And he had so many things wrong with him. He had three blood transfusions. And they kept saying, his life, the quality of Jeffrey's life is going to be bad. And so I decided his dad and I to pull the plug. Cause I said, well, he can go to heaven and he can be with his sister and his grandmother and.

[A]

Well, if doctors are telling you that. Right?

[B]

Yeah. And that was me spiritual going where he's going to a better place. So Niecy was with me. She was married to that time to a pastor. And we were going to her pastor's, her husband's church. And it was. Jeffrey was in the little isolette, and I brought him, like, a little micro preemie outfit to put on that he had to wear. And his hands were gripping the. The tube, the oxygen tube. And I remember Jeff Senior leaned over the Isolette, and he whispered to Jeffrey, he said, you mom is here. And the hand fell off the tube and then gripped it again. Niecy, Miss Drama Queen over here, started screaming. She started screaming. She fell all over. Like we were at a funeral, she fell all over the isolated hollering and screaming, the baby move. The baby move. Oh, my God, we can't let him go. And I'm looking at her like, what are you doing, Niecy?

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Literally, we are best friends. And she's. Her husband's trying to help her off the floor. She's screaming. And I just looked at my baby to say goodbye. And they went to disconnect the breathing tube so that he could take his last breath in my arms. And they went to disconnect. And then the head of the neonatal intensive care unit came in and he said. We did another, you know, the ultrasound thing. X ray. And all of the internal bleeding, all of the, like, it's healed. There's a word that they use when it's healed. It's, like, all restored, and there's nothing. So where it was all bruised and black and yucky, it was all beautiful brown. Cause I still call it my chocolate drop. It was all a beautiful brown. And they said, you know, it's all healed now. They still were gonna pull the plug. Cause he still had the problems in his brain and seizures. And Jeff Sr. Said, no. Whatever package our son is wrapped up in is the way we're gonna take him. If I have to wheel him to the soccer games in a wheelchair, then that's the way I'll do it. I forever will be grateful to my ex husband for fighting them because I just was crying. My best friend's still screaming in the whole nicu, waking up all the babies. But he didn't die that day. And so I always look at Jeffrey. They said that he wouldn't be able to talk, he wouldn't be able to walk. He was gonna be in a wheelchair. He's gonna. So when my son says to me, mom, bruh, like, I love it. Because they said he wasn't gonna be able to do all of that. So we had to take him home. He was still having seizures. And all of this intervention, we found out, you know, at 17, he's on the spectrum, but he's such a great kid. He's just.

[A]

He's so adorable.

[B]

And I was so proud of him that day. Because for kids on the spectrum, it's hard for them to make eye contact. A lot of them are not outgoing. They're very introverted. Jeffrey will look mean as hell and say, but I'm smiling inside. I'm crying inside. Whenever he sees older people at, like, nursing homes, he goes, why are my eyes wet? You know, he loves to help out. So when I said to him, jeffrey, this star. People are gonna wanna hug you. You're gonna have to take pictures. He goes, bruh, I got it. You don't have to tell me what to do. I know I gotta smile. I know I'm your son. And when I tell you he took pictures, he shook people's hands, he smiled. He didn't give me any backtalk with taking the pictures. I was so proud of my son.

[A]

He was so proud standing next to you.

[B]

Oh, my goodness. I know. I think he was very proud of me.

[A]

How has being a mom changed you, Sheri?

[B]

Being a mother, I love it. I don't think I know what I'm doing. I feel very inadequate. But somehow we manage it. I have learned so much from Jeffrey. I've learned to be fearless for Jeffrey because I've had to advocate for him. I've had to go into schools and say no when they want to say, well, Jeffrey's not doing this. Jeffrey's not. I've had to go and fight for him, that you're not gonna put that in his file. Because there's something called prisoner pipeline with young black boys. And, you know, knowing that Jeffrey being the minority in schools, that sometimes it's easy to pin things on him. I've had to go in there and be the lion, the mother lion. They get to see that side of Sherry most people don't get to see, you know? And because of that, he speaks up a lot more good to me where I have to go. Okay, you need to be quiet. And are you really. Do you. Are you really on the spectrum, Jeffrey? Cause you a little too smart right now with that mouth. But I love being his mother. And my prayer every day is, lord, bless me to be the mother that Jeffrey needs me to be. So my memory girl. Some people will say, well, did you do this for Jeffrey? And did he do this kind of ABA therapy and cognitive. Da, da, da, da. And I'm like, I don't know what none of that means, but I know I had him at their park doing birth. Ya, da, da, da, da.

[A]

He said, you do all these things. And I said, how do you work out so early? How do you say. I don't say that. I have to do it. I get to do it, and I do it. So I'm always here for Jeffrey.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Because I want to make sure. Because I'm the one that's going to always take care of him.

[B]

Absolutely. And I do. I wake up worried a lot because I think, you know, the impetus for me taking care of myself, health, wise of going to the gym. I'm always picturing Jeffrey at a finish line when they're like, okay, you got 10 more, nine more. I always picture Jeffrey at the finish line going, mom, you can do it. And he's got his arms held out, so I'm running towards him or I'm lifting that weight, and he's right there going, you can do one more, Mom. He's always in my mind. So everything that I do. When I said everything that I am, everything that I do is for Jeffrey. He probably won't. He can't appreciate the nuances of that. But it's what fuels me. It's what. When I say I can't take a gig or I can't do a movie or I'm gonna do this particular movie, it is for my son to either set him up when I'm not here financially, or I gotta turn it down because he needs me to be here.

[A]

I feel every bit of that love when you talk about him, your voice changes, your face changes, your eyes change.

[B]

Oh, my gosh. He told me I don't talk about him as much on the show because he said to me, don't talk about me. Please. He said, I'm not a story. Cause some teacher said to him, they laughed, and they said, you mom's so funny, she can make anything about you a story. And he took that literally.

[A]

Oh, gosh.

[B]

And he said, I'm not a story, Mom. And when I tell you, I cried. I cried all day because I said, jeffrey, I'm not in a relationship. Like, my label is a mother. Every time I talk about you, people love to hear about you. When we do anything on social media, they love you. You're cutting me off at the knees because I said, I don't have nothing else going on in my life. Everything is it. You're it, I'm it. But I had to realize that Jeffrey did not ask for this. I did. And he's very self conscious. And so when people come up to him, they recognize him from the view, and they'll come up and they'll say, jeffrey, did you go to your prom? Cause I talked about it. Or, jeffrey, what about the girl you want to date? Cause I talked about. And he's very self conscious, and he doesn't like that. And then they always want to hug him. And so, you know, kids are on the spectrum. They don't like you to touch. So it's very. Unless you have a daughter who's 19 that he can date, then all bets are off.

[A]

Then it's fine.

[B]

You can hug him, you can do anything.

[A]

I love him. I love him.

[B]

So anytime he gets something like my podcast or My Lives, he'll come in and everybody, jeffrey, Jeffrey, Jeffrey. And he'll go, does anybody have a daughter who's like, 20 or 19? Did you say that? Yeah. And if they go, no. He's like, ugh, why am I on this?

[A]

Why are you wasting time?

[B]

Niecy told him, why are you wasting my time? That's how he feels. When he was about to go to prom, Niecy, he didn't have a date. And Niecy said, you can take my daughter Dia. And he said, how old is she? And she goes, she's 21. And he goes, 21. Why keep giving me these old ladies? And he walks off. And she was like, did he just call my daughter old? A old lady?

[A]

If anyone can handle it, Niecy can.

[B]

Gotcha. But that's the stuff that, like, normally I would get on stage. I work everything out. I had a sitcom based on the fact that my husband cheated. It was called Sherry and Malcolm. Jamal Warner played my husband. He cheated with his white girl, and they had a baby like that. Was my whole. That was my standup. Like, standup is my space that I can go and tell my business. And I know that somebody else, either they are affected, they've gone through it, or they know somebody who's gone through it. And they can relate. And that is what brings us together. So for Jeffrey to tell me, you cannot talk about me. Do you understand how many stories I have with this boy? Just being in the house with me, who's 20 years old, what he goes through? It's like I could have a whole two hour Netflix special.

[A]

It is honesty with you.

[B]

I love honesty because honesty is funny stuff. I don't have to make up the punchlines.

[A]

No.

[B]

Just by what he says and does. And he's so funny. He's like his dad and me. He's like, literally, he's not supposed to be a neuroscientist. This boy is supposed to own a comedy club or be on the road doing standup or be an actor who's a comedic actor.

[A]

Well, I can't wait to see what he does.

[B]

Me neither.

[A]

I can't wait to see what he does.

[B]

I want Chris Rock to take him on the road and, like, just be a mentor, somebody you should. Chris, what are you supposed to do?

[A]

Chris.

[B]

Chris, if you're listening, take my son on the road with you. I'm just scared what these daggone comics don't have my son doing.

[A]

I don't know what.

[B]

I don't know what they're gonna do.

[A]

I mean, I don't know what they're gonna do. I want to talk about the Sherry Show. I was backstage for your very first, like, when it was officially the Sherry Show.

[B]

When it was officially the Sherry Show. Yeah.

[A]

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[B]

Prices that get your budget.

[A]

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[B]

I knew that show is so special to me because I don't like to beat people over the head with my beliefs. I respect everyone's beliefs, but people know that I'm a spiritual person.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I wouldn't be where I am without my faith in God. I would be dead. And so I know that God has just kept me in a special place, as he does everybody. But it's so special to me because Hollywood is not kind to women of a certain age. The fact that I had been trying to get a talk show Since I left the View, it was a dream for so long. And I just knew upon the exit of the View that was the creme de la creme. Being a host on the View for seven years and eight. I was the eighth. I was a fill in. I should have did like Joy. She wasn't a fill in. They went to Joy to be a fill in, and Joy said, f you. And they made her a regular and gave her a whole bunch of money. Should have held out. But that was like. That was the top peer, top tier level is what I meant to say. So when I could not get a sitcom and would pitch it to everybody and get the reaction that I did the no's, it was shocking to me. And then it was so discouraging. Then it was heartbreaking to have people. There's one lady in particular, literally I made when I was filling in for Wendy, like a little sizzle reel. And it wasn't even long. It was three minutes. Kind of the best things that I did.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

And I said, I just have a little sizzle reel. Well, I'm gonna hit play on the laptop. And she goes. She did her hand dismissively. And she goes, I don't need to see that. And I said, but this way you can kind of see what I bring. And she goes, no, I don't need to see it. And she was so dismissive. I was sitting there with my manager, and I was taken aback. And so then I was trying to tell her, okay, this is what I see as a talk show. Because I've been thinking about it for the last 20 something years. I know exactly. I feel I know what women want. And she just was so dismissive. She just was not interested. And I was so disheartened. And I was downstairs in the parking. No, at the elevator. I started crying with my manager. I just started crying. And I said, this is horrible. Like the way she treated me. And basically she said I was too. They needed younger people in the talk show space. That's what she said.

[A]

She said that. She said, younger.

[B]

They're looking for younger. And they had already had. I won't say they'd already had a talk show host that had done her pilot. It's on the air now. And they were like, you know, we need to do you sing. I don't do any of that. Then I went to another network, Tamsen, and this woman said, I saw you on Wendy, and I got chills because you relate to women. And I make the decisions at this network, and I want to give you A show. I thought I had a deal before I even walked out the door. I was doing a little game show on the Game Show Network, and she didn't call. And I kept saying to my managers, like, she said, she makes the decisions. What's going on? What's happening? And they went with somebody else who's on the air. They went with somebody else. And that's when I cried. And I cried and I said, it's too. This dream is too. It hurts too much to have this dream. And they said, oh, we'll set up other meetings. And I said, I don't want to do it no more. I can't. I'm tired. I'm tired of the nose. I don't know how to explain to people that comics are amazing at talk shows because we create magic where there is none. Our improv skills. I'm tired. And I cried. And I think it was when I really cried. I went on a meeting with the folks. I did a show called Dish Nation, which I loved. But when I was talking to them, my managers, who I love, they were always trying to throw in a talk show. I don't care. Even if it was like, we want you to host a thing. They go, but can you do a talk show for Sheri? And they were saying to the people.

[A]

You'Ve really had people believe in you.

[B]

I've had.

[A]

You have had people believe in you.

[B]

And, like, literally, we've been together. We've been together 10 years, my managers and I. I stay with you. I'm like a loyal person. And because people, when they believe in you, those are the people you stick by. Because sometimes it's not about. It's not about the money. It's not about these other things. Because a person's belief in you will carry you further than an agent getting there, going, we can get you all this money, and we can. That's not it. Like, they will stick with you in the times when you're not booking anything and the times where it's kind of lean because they believe in you. And that never changes.

[A]

That gives me chills. That's such important.

[B]

That's so important.

[A]

Such important advice in whatever career you're.

[B]

In and who you decide to partner with. Like, it's important. And what they said was, I went on a meeting with the folks who do dishonation, and they wanted me to move to Atlanta. I said, I'm not moving to Atlanta. I'm not doing it. I like you guys. You're fun. And so my manager, Mark, he goes but what about the talk show space, like Sherry? And they said, well, there's really no room. Cause Nick Cannon has a talk show. And I love Nick. Nick texts me at the most inopportune moments when he's hiding in the bathroom. Cause all them damn kids, he'll text me and go, what are you doing, Sheri? Cause I'm in the bathroom, the kids are knocking at the door. So, like, my love for Nick is there. But at the time when I filled in for Wendy, it was Keke Palmer who was solo in the chair. It was Jerry o', Connell, it was Nick Cannon, and it was me. It was all four of us who had done it by ourselves because they were doing panels, comedic panels. We were the only ones. Keke Palmer then became a host on GMA 3 with Sarah Haynes and Mark Strahan. Michael Strahan. Debmar gave Jerry o' Connell a six week test run. Then Nick Cannon got his own show. I was the only one, the only one who's sitting there like an ass wipe with no show. So when they said to him, well, Nick Cannon's got a show, I was like, what? And we went on with the meeting.

[A]

Now, were you discouraged to this point? I don't feel like you ever gave up, though. Did you ever give up? Do you feel in your head?

[B]

I never gave it up. I just had to put it away. It was too painful. And when we went downstairs, like, I was happy for Nick. I love all of everybody, and he's a comic. We're a family. But I cried because I go, how does everybody getting something? But, like, does God? And I literally looked at God and I go, do you not like me? Like, I can't believe that you've had me. And then I went on to do Dish Nation, and I had an amazing time. But I just said, God, I cannot believe that, like, this desire has been there since I was even a standup comic of looking at Oprah and with my little baby dolls. Like, that's just what I'm. Everybody knows I'm supposed to be Niecy. Niecy's done five pilots for Talk Show.

[A]

I didn't know that.

[B]

Yeah, I've been a guest on five of her pilots.

[A]

I guess that's why you know the number so well.

[B]

My friend will call and say, you're, like, amazing as a guest. You're the person. I've been a guest on everybody, almost so many people's pilot for a talk show. I've been a guest on pilots that Debmar has done. They will call me and they go, cause you're the perfect guest. You know how to stay.

[A]

Because you can steal the scene.

[B]

You can steal. The state owns it.

[A]

You own the seat.

[B]

I will own it. Don't freaking have me on as a guest. And I'm like, when I want people to see me, I will take over. I will dominate. And when I look at Niecy, she called me and she said, friend, I'm never doing a pilot for a talk show ever again. Because that's how you're supposed to do it. Cause I was always gracious with Niecy. I was always like, I want you to win because we'll win together.

[A]

I love that you've done that with each other.

[B]

Yeah. And I was always like a guest, but I've always wanted it. So when that happened, I cried in the parking lot. Cause I said, it's just like, I don't know if I'm ever gonna get a shot. And my manager started crying, and I go, let me tell you what irritates me more than anything. When you're a man and you start crying, if you didn't freaking lose your mama, if you didn't lose your home, and if your wife ain't leaving you, what is you crying for? So he's crying and I go, what.

[A]

Are you crying for now? You're consoling the manager, I'm consoling you.

[B]

And he goes, just. Cause I want it for you so badly. So then he hugs me and we're both crying in the park parking lot. Oh, my gosh. But that was very discouraging because I just felt like, man, nobody sees what I see. Nobody gets me. They don't think. So when I filled in that other time for Wendy and they came, Mord and Ira, and offered me the deal, I was ecstatic. I just was ecstatic because I understood. Talk shows take a year to develop. There's never, I don't think, in the history of the situation that I was in that has ever happened in a talk show format where you come and it's already cleared in the different countries, in the different cities and states. It was like, cleared in 80% of the country. There's never been in the history where it's like the time slot is there where you can just step into it. There was no six week test run. And I wouldn't have done a six week test run. Cause I already knew you don't need to do a six week test run. No, this was what. What I did when I filled in was It. That's why when I had my appendix removed, when I was filling in, and they said to me, well, we got Michael Rappaport. He'll sit in for. I know he wouldn't. No, he won't. I got. Right. I said, did y' all remove it? Can I get up? And they said, well, Ms. Shepherd, we wouldn't advise. And I go, am I gonna be back here? And they go, well, no. And I go get my clothes. I'm coming in. I'm going to host this show.

[A]

I didn't know that.

[B]

Yeah, I had my appendix removed that Sunday. And then Monday, Michael Rappaport filled in for me. Cause I was supposed to be there for a week. And I knew God was involved, because at the same time that Debmar was trying to get me to come fill in the Ellen DeGeneres show, they were going off the air. I hadn't been on the show in 13 years. They wanted me on there. Ellen requested me, and they both wouldn't give. And then Dish Nation said, no, you can't take off for a week.

[A]

So everyone's fighting over.

[B]

Because everybody's fighting now. Now you're fighting over me. And it literally. I had to sit in my car and go, God, I give this to you. And when I did that and released it, Ellen's people said, we'll move. Dish Nation said, we'll let you go for a week. And I was able to go and fill in and still do the Ellen show and still do Dish Nation. So the way it was moving and then, you know, to be 54 years old and get your own talk show, that doesn't happen. It just. It doesn't happen. No, it doesn't happen because they want younger people. They want. And I've been told so much, you're too fat, you're too this. You're not pretty enough. I don't even pay attention to that anymore. But. So I knew that it was a spiritual thing, and I knew it was more than me having a talk show. It just was more than me. And when I got it, I just knew how I wanted it to be. And I knew the vision that I had. I knew the way I wanted to the staff to be when people walked in the building. I just knew. And so when celebrities and guests tell me, oh, my God, everybody was so nice to me, it's so fun being here. When Michelle Obama said, I don't want to go because I'm having so much fun, and I love your crew and I love your staff, that is a direct Reflection of whoever is the host of that show.

[A]

Yes, it is.

[B]

And that's me. And so I know that I don't get to come in and be the bitch today.

[A]

Mm.

[B]

Mm. It's not in my repertoire. Except my assistant might tell you a different story. She's the one that gets to see Sherry.

[A]

That's behind us all.

[B]

She doesn't get playful Sherry like I tell people who work for me. My assistant does not get playful Sherry because I'm very serious about making people laugh. So she gets a very serious Sherry. The Sherry that plays around is the bubbly she never sees. Cause I'm like, I am. Easy peasy. Mess up with Jeffrey. Don't mess up with Jeffrey. So. But we've been. She's been with me for 16 years.

[A]

Had you gotten the show that you wanted at 35, 34, 20 years ago?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Who was that Sherry? That Sheri?

[B]

Oh, you know who that Sherry would have been.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If I got a Show in my 20s when I wanted it, in my 30s when I wanted it, literally the FBI would have been going, is there not a videotape that Sheri is not in? We have taken all these videotapes. What party was Sherri not in?

[A]

Right.

[B]

Because I was not ready. I was not mature enough. I was too much of a people pleaser in my 20s and my 30s. So if you told me to stand on my head and do whatever poured beer over my, I would've done it.

[A]

How'd you learn to stop doing that?

[B]

I just age and going through it and learning from those really horrible, painful lessons of finding my voice. Barbara Walters doing the View for seven years. That lady was hard on me. She was hard on me. Oh, my God. The lady made me. But when I say the lady, I say with love. Like I love.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

Of course I love Barbara Walters because my voice is deep. Because of Barbara Walters. Because she sat me down and she said, dear. Because I used to go take a little time to enjoy the View. Hi, everybody. And cheerleader voice. The cheerleader voice. Because that's the voice I use on stage. And she said, in which I teach my little elves, my interns, and the young girls that work for me. Deepen up that voice. Talk a little slower. Deepen it up. Because even if you don't appear confident, that deep voice makes you sound confident.

[A]

Yes, it does.

[B]

And. Cause they go, miss Sherry, would you like that? And I go, deepen it up. Deepen it up. So now they come and they go, miss Sherry. And they talk like that.

[A]

Great.

[B]

But Barbara Walters sat me down and she said, dear, you've got to project more confidence when you sit at the table. She said, if you don't start interrupting and start saying what you believe, tell me why you are saying, no, stop saying. It's always the Bible, the Bible, the Bible. Why do you believe it? And she taught me that.

[A]

Wow, that's a. That. That's a huge. It's a huge person to learn it from. That's a huge lesson.

[B]

No pay to get the lessons that I got for free from Barbara Walters. And yes, she made me cry. But when I would go to dinner with her, whenever she would come in my room and go, we're going to dinner. I'd start crying. Cause I had like, oh, damn, what did I do now? Oh, my gosh.

[A]

I didn't even yell that for another.

[B]

Hour in a deep voice when I tell you. Whenever I would go to dinner with Barbara Walters is when I loved her more and more. I wanted to go put on matching pajamas and do a sleepover with her. Because that's when she imparted such loving wisdom. It wasn't that imperial. It was literally. She was like, dear, I'm concerned. You keep getting married to these men, and they don't love you, and I don't want you to be this way. Dear. It was like my grandmother.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

And she.

[A]

And she said, another person that loved me.

[B]

That loved me. Like, we would go to plays, and she'd be. She'd be talking at the top of her voice. Cause it was what people her age did. And I'd be like, barbara, you gotta be quiet. I don't know why we're at this play. I don't like it. I don't like it. And I'm like, you can't. Barbara, stop it. And so she said to me, she said, dear, you need to be a lesbian. And I said, why do I need to be a lesbian, Barbara? She said, because then you get with these men, they take all your money, so you need to be a lesbian. And then she goes, yeah, but with your luck, a lesbian would take all your money, so forget it. And, like, that's what she said to me. And I would like. And she would hold my hand, she would touch my face. We'd be out, and I loved. And then we go back to work the next day. And she'd be like, dear, read a book. Read a book, for God's sake.

[A]

Imagine, though, all the people that have come through her path. And she took you under her wing.

[B]

Under her wing.

[A]

Because she saw something.

[B]

She did.

[A]

That's amazing. And my last day.

[B]

No, her last day there. Cause Barbara didn't wanna leave. She did not wanna leave. You know, that story. And it was when we had all of the journalists come up on this stage. My lady didn't wanna leave.

[A]

No.

[B]

And she came to me, and she put her hand gently on my face, and she said, I am the most proud of you because you did the homework. She always was on me to be curious and do my research. She said, you did your research. You did your homework. And she said, and I'm so proud of you, dear, and I love you. And it was just so tender. And she stepped into the elevator, and I started crying as the doors were closing. I'm crying. And she goes, what are you crying for? And the doors closed. And that was my relationship with Barbara Walters. And I will always love her because she. So when you say, how did you learn these lessons? Barbara was very instrumental. She gave me a lot of advice, just as a woman, as a mother. She loved Jeffrey with every fiber of her being. You know, she talked to the Clintons because they had an initiative for children with special needs. I talked to Bill and Hillary. I was like, bill and Hillary who? Oh, God, for Christ's sakes. Bill and Hillary Clinton. Read a book, dear. I'm like. I thought she was talking about Hillary Jackson. Barbara, I don't know these people. So they were trying to help me get Jeffrey into a school. And, you know, she would always tease me, because Bill Clinton loves everything that I've ever done, every movie I've ever made. He sat and watched my movie Beauty Shop so many times.

[A]

That's great.

[B]

He came and he said, I love when you play the prostitute and run for the money. And I'm like, you know. And she would say, I was on vacation with Bill, and all he does is talk about you, dear. So she just. She would help me with Jeffrey. And nobody was supposed to go in Barbara's room unless you were to meet with her about briefing her. And that boy ran in there at 2 years old. And I said, come out of Barbara's room. And he said, barbara. And she turned around, her whole body turns, and then her head follows her body. And she said, yes, dear. And he said, I love you. Give me a kiss.

[A]

Aw.

[B]

And I said, you have secured my job forever. Yeah, about. At least three years. At least three years. She loved Jeffrey. She donated to all of the causes for Jeffrey. And, you know, that's the woman that. I know that. So she helped me so how did I get here? I think it's life hitting me upside the head so many times. And I used to think I was a boring person, but I realized, no, I got a lot of wisdom to impart and share with other young women trying to do this thing. And I think it's just going, God, show me what this is supposed to be. So my prayer before I walk out, when they're going, we're gonna have a real good time, feel good time. I'm praying back there, and I'm always praying that the crowd, the audience will leave feeling better than when they came. I pray that they see the side of God that loves to laugh. That loves to laugh and hold his belly. Or her, if you believe God is a she, hold her belly so hard that they see that God meet them in that place of laughter and that he used me to be that light. Because I know this is not just for me. I know this show touches people in a place that a lot of shows don't do. And I respect everybody. I just know what I bring. And I know it's too many people that run up to me crying, saying, my mother and I used to watch this, and she had Alzheimer's. And your show, that was the only one that made her smile or laugh. My husband's no longer here, or I would get my chemotherapy and watch you. I work out at the gym. I've lost £200 because you said, it's beyond me. And laughter is the vehicle that gets me there.

[A]

It's a unifier.

[B]

It's the unifier. It's the unifier, absolutely.

[A]

What is your advice to a younger woman listening right now who might feel stuck and says, like, I want that next thing. I don't know how to get it. I want that next relationship. I want that. You know, I just feel stuck right now because I think world's moving so fast, right?

[B]

Yeah. And I really feel for the younger generation. I love that they have fight.

[A]

Yeah, they do that.

[B]

They do have fight. But it's hard because they don't have the coping mechanisms with what we're dealing with. Hell, we don't have the coping mechanism mechanisms. That's true. You know, I feel like, as a black woman, I'm pretty much living off of the. What my ancestors, what they went through. I'm living the perks of what they always dreamed about for me. But I would say to younger people, take risks, because it's, you know, in the place that you're in. For me, I have more good days behind me than I do in front of me. So my snapback isn't as. Isn't as strong as a young person. This is the time to take the leaps, to take the risks, to move to that place, get out of the neighborhood that you're in. Go and meet people that don't look like you. Go and experience life. Because even if you fail, it's okay. As long as you can get back up and you're alive, you got another chance to do it. And failure is not a bad thing. Sometimes, you know, I think we coddle kids too much. We don't want them to lose, but the failure is what makes us. Everybody has a story about failure. I was bullied where I live. I was not that many black kids. It was very racist where I grew up. And I was bullied mercilessly. But you know what I found that helped me? For the bullies not to beat me up or call me the N word or throw a rock at me when I made him laugh. If I get disarmed by making you laugh, that is why I'm as good as I am now. Because of the, you know, that failure. I learned that laughter.

[A]

Certain pain points.

[B]

No, I had to go through pain. You know, I said, shoot, I should have had Jeffrey. We should have stayed in Compton. And I should have let that boy fight everybody. He'd have been. But I don't let. I don't let him fall.

[A]

No.

[B]

Because I'm his mother. I don't want him to fall. And I think a lot of parents, we don't let them fall. So I would. It's hard to watch, but it has made us. If it doesn't break you, it will make you. I would say take risks. Take big risks. And I would say my biggest thing is do it scared. And I say this all the time. If you can get past the fear, and fear literally, it truly is false evidence appearing real. If you can get past, that's where the treasure trove of opportunities are. Our open doors, our, you know, things that you've always dreamed of. If you can get past that fear, it's just lying there waiting for you. So do it scared. Run towards that thing that causes that. You don't tell anybody about that. Makes your stomach jittery. Run towards it.

[A]

Do you still do that today?

[B]

Always. It's a little harder now as you get older, because when you get older, you want to be stability.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's why I've always had to leave my jobs. Every job I've always had, I've left because I'VE told them, I want to get my name in lights. I want to have my own this or my own. I was going to leave the View, you know, and they wanted me to stay, but I was like, if I don't leave the View now, I already know what's going to happen. People are going to come sit on this couch, I'm going to have my blue cards, and I'll be envious. Cause I'm not just a talk show host. I'm an actress. I'm a comic. And Whoopi was always on me saying, you're gonna be doing stuff beyond the View. Yep. She always kept hitting me in the head with that. And I knew if I didn't leave the View, I would be sitting there, you know, interviewing somebody, going, wow. I would have loved to have auditioned for that. So when people come on my show, they respect me as an actress because they've seen me and stuff, and they work with me on things and they remember me from. And that's very satisfying. Where I go, okay, y' all know I do more than just a talk show. But that's what I would tell a young person. Take risks and learn in women. And it's okay to say no. It is. So, yes. Learn to say no and stand in the mirror. Say no in different ways. If it's too much, just say no. Cause sometimes we gotta say no. We gotta add something to it. Yeah, but if it's too much, just. Yeah, but, yeah. No, I'm sorry. I'm so. You know, maybe we get such good.

[A]

Advice at this age.

[B]

At this age. I go, no. It'll be so much silence. We can keep looking at each other all day. I said what? I said, this is why I love being this age. Cranky. I do love this stage. And I meant what I said. I said no. So. And that's another difference with having a talk show now. I know what I bring. I know who my audience is. I know how it's going to affect women. I know if it's something I'm really passionate about, probably there's a lot of other women who are passionate about the same thing.

[A]

Sheri, I adore you. Like, I adored you when you walked in the door. I adore you more than ever. And I really respect you.

[B]

I know I overran this life for about three hours.

[A]

No, you did not. I could keep you here. I'm scared. You have to go. If you can stay, you're here, girl.

[B]

I'm going home to watch my K Ron.

[A]

I know you are.

[B]

I Got a Korean lesson in three hours.

[A]

Wait, real fast. Can you talk about that? You're taking a lesson?

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah. So I'm taking Korean lessons because I am writing a Blasian romance novel, which is Blasian, black and Asian. And a black woman falls in love with this Asian man and all of what they have to go through. And it's a grown woman book, so it's a lot of steamy stuff. Oh, I can't wait. I'm a grown woman. So I've always been a romance novel reader from. I learned to read when I was 4, so about probably I started reading Harlequin romances when I was about 11.

[A]

Oh my gosh.

[B]

That's probably why I keep getting married, because I believe in the fairy tales. I believe that there is a black man with some dreadlocks on a white horse with muscles.

[A]

You guys are gonna be on the COVID of a book.

[B]

On the COVID he looks like Aaron Pierre mixed with Lenny Kravitz mixed with Jason Momoa mixed with a little bit of Ernie Saperstein. Like just all of these men in one on a horse running down the beach with their linen pants rolled up to their knees. They're gonna try to pick me up. It's probably not gonna work out, but. And we're gonna run off into the sunset or walk fast. But I'm obsessed with the k rom the romances. I'm obsessed with the K dramas. I watch all of that. And I binge till like four in the morning and I watch them. And of course, you live vicariously, of course. And I said, gosh, what is. It was a black woman who fell in love with an Asian man interviewing agents. I was trying to break the ice, cuz I was. That imposter syndrome, of course, got on me because at this level that I am in now, you got 20 agents in the room who want to work.

[A]

With you, of course.

[B]

And they were all senior partners. They weren't even the Okie dokes. These were all senior partners. And I just finished this movie that's number one on Netflix.

[A]

And I was, oh, wait, the movie.

[B]

My movie Straw, which was like number one in the world. And I'm sitting there and I'm stand up. And the head of the agency, he said, this is a great day to be Sherri Shepherd. And immediately imposter syndrome went on me. That thing, the hand got over my face and I was like, they're gonna find out that you're not deserving. They're gonna find out you're really not funny. They're gonna find out you're not a great actress. They're gonna find out. Oh, my gosh. But what keeps me calm is making people laugh. So in the middle of that, to calm myself down, I said. They said, we're getting a. Because you were so great in Straw, we're getting all your clips, and we're gonna send them to Martin Scorsese's longtime casting director, okay? Imposter syndrome. There's absolutely no way. You are not that good. That was that voice, girl. Who you think you are? Who do you think you are? 20 agents in the room. There's seven of them on a zoom. There's one from Europe in their umbrella agencies that I'm meeting with. And I said, just to break the ice for me, I said, I don't care who you send my reel to. I just want you to put me in a K rom. I want to be in a romance novel. I'm taking Korean lessons because I'm manifesting that Daniel Dae Kim is going to be kissing me. And they all fell out. And the literary agent who handles Tina Knowles and her book went to number one. And he's got the seven number one bestsellers underneath his belt. He said, have you ever thought about writing, like, you're so funny. Have you ever thought about writing a romance novel? And I have. And I've met with people and they've not been interested. And I said, I have. And he said, what about ablation? That's never been done. And I said, yeah. And he said, it's so interesting. What would you do? And I gave the scenario who I thought. And I met with Korean American writers so that it was authentic, that part of it. And I got a woman named J.C. lee. She's a romance novelist. She's Korean American. Her stuff gets on the bestseller list. And we hooked up together. And I said, girl, now let me tell you about a black girl. We wear bonnets to bed, okay? We gotta have a bonnet. I want this man. I want Daniel Dae Kim to be helping her take out the weave. She's got wigs everywhere.

[A]

Oh, my God, I love this.

[B]

And she gave me the culture of Korea. And we both are obsessed with the K Roms. And we are writing this Blasian romance novel and a steamy. And when I tell you, girl, Samson, I want people to be on the subway like 50 shades of gray going, I can't let y' all see what I'm reading. Like, I want y', all. Except ain't no spanking I don't like. No, you're not gonna spank me.

[A]

You don't need a spanking.

[B]

I don't do spankings and all of that. We got our limits. I got a limit. We got some orgasms for your mama. When I can't wait, I can tell you. And speaking of, I can't wait. And then I got my children's book, the Sunshine Queens.

[A]

All right, well, you know.

[B]

Oh, my gosh.

[A]

You got something for every shelf.

[B]

I got something for everybody. Oh, my gosh.

[A]

I love you. I hope you'll come back.

[B]

Of course I will come back, because I'm gonna be promoting my. My romance novel.

[A]

I will be here for your romance novel. Do we have a name yet or cannot say it.

[B]

We don't have a. We don't have a name yet, but it's literally like reading a K pop romance novel. But the people are grown. Like, these ain't teenagers, okay? This is not demon hunters for 12 years old, okay? This is like grown people having a relationship. And, you know, cultural stuff. We got stuff. The woman has a son who's autistic in there. What she has to go through, how she, you know, she does everything for everybody else, and she never lets herself get into the fantasy. And song. Jun. That's his name, son. Zone Jung. Sexy, you know, and he woos her. He's never been with a black woman before. Sparks. Girl, I love this.

[A]

I'm so excited, Sheri. Thank you.

[B]

Thank you, Sam.

[A]

I'm excited. I feel like we're gonna be on the subway with a lot of these books being covered.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

Do it. Scared. Sheri's story is such a great reminder that grit and faith pay off. I cannot wait to hear what resonated with you. Leave a quick comment. Let me know your favorite moment. Cause I'm sure there was a lot of them or your favorite seed that Sheri dropped. All right, I'll see you next week. Today's podcast is sponsored by Midi Health. So many of you know this, but I was dismissed over and over again when I was struggling with perimenopause symptoms. I didn't even know I was in perimenopause. It is so important you're getting care from someone that specializes in women in midlife and that they're willing to have the hormone therapy conversation with you. I get questions from you every single day about where to go for support, and I'm always suggesting Midi Health. It's covered by insurance, and you don't even have to leave your house ready to feel your best and write your second act script. Visit joinmitty.comtamsent today to book your personalized insurance covered virtual visit. That's joinmitty.com Tamsin Mitty the care Women Deserve.

[B]

Welcome to Decoding Women's Health. I'm Dr. Elizabeth Poynter, Chair of Women's Health and Gynecology at the Atria Health Institute in New York City. I'll be talking to top researchers and clinicians and bringing vital information about midlife women's health directly to you.

[A]

100% of women go through menopause. Even if it's natural, why should we suffer through it?

[B]

Listen to Decoding Women's Health with Dr. Elizabeth Poynter. Wherever you get your podcasts.