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Okay, Tam fam, right now is your time to take care of you. Yes, I know the New Year's resolutions are behind us, but this is the time you should be doing this all the time. And who better to help you do it with than the top voices and wellbeing on Audible. We all want to feel better, but we're busy, right? And sometimes self care cannot be a spa day. So maybe it's about getting your brain back, sleeping through the night, feeling more confident. Whatever it is, here's what I love about the Audible well Being collection. It's practical, it's supportive, and it's right there when you need it, whether you got 10 minutes in the car or maybe a walk around the block. I listen every morning during my morning walk and I love it. I look forward to it every day. There's an entire selection from best selling authors like Brene Brown or Jay Shetty. Master Nutrition with chef Jamie Oliver. You can hear nature sleep sounds from the sleeping world or get on top of your finances with Rachel Rogers. Plus, you'll find all the best parenting guides like Raising Good Humans at your fingertips. Kickstart your well being journey with your first audiobook free when you sign up for a 30 day trial at audible.com Membership is $14.95 a month. After 30 days, cancel anytime. Listening to the top voices in well being sounds like self care to me. Audible. There's more to imagine when you listen. Hey everybody. Welcome back to the Tamsen Show. Well, today I decided I really want to talk about reinvention. I've been thinking a lot about it, but I have to be honest with you, I don't love the word reinvention. I'm only using it because I knew it would catch your attention. But reinvention I don't think is actually what we're doing here. What we're really talking about is rewriting, adding to your story, growing into your next chapter. Because we're not starting over from scratch. You're not starting from nothing. You are bringing every lesson, every scar, every win with you. The difference is now you get to decide which parts of that story still belong and which ones you're ready to leave behind. And that's really exactly how I've lived the last few years and I never could have imagined it. I walked away from a 30 year career as a news anchor, built a media company, produced a documentary called the M Shredding the Silence on Menopause. And I'm working on my second one about perimenopause right now. I Wrote a book that became an instant New York Times bestseller. And I started this show. And somehow, in the middle of all that, I found myself at the center of a community of more than 4 million women across social media. So my life, needless to say, looks completely different in a relatively short amount of time. And while your goals may not be the same as mine, the need for rewriting, for creating your next chapter, is something so many of us are facing at every age, in every stage of our lives. Here's the good news. You don't have to start from scratch. You don't need to burn it all down and rebuild. What I wanna do, though, is show you how to build on what you've already lived, because there's so many beautiful things in there. There's lessons you've learned, mistakes you've made, wins you've earned, because that's the raw material for your next chapter. So before we dive in, if you're new here, make sure you hit follow on Apple or Spotify or subscribe on YouTube and watch us there. And if you've been listening for a while now, you know this show is all about community and the way we grow our community is through your reviews. They're how new people discover us. So today, I'm going to teach you how to let go of those old stories that may not fit anymore without feeling like you have to totally erase your past because you shouldn't and don't have to. You're going to learn how to start building your next chapter, identity in, even before you feel ready. Because I promise there's never gonna be one point that you feel absolutely ready. I'm gonna show you how to practice that identity in small, everyday ways so it starts to stick and feel real. And then we're gonna talk about what to do with the fear that creeps in. And it creeps in when other people see you as who you used to be. Because here's the truth. You're not too old. It's not too late. Two things you guys know I do not like, and you're definitely not done. You are unfinished. And this episode is about giving you the tools to step into that. So let's go ahead and get started. Okay? When we talk about reinvention, most people think that means wiping the slate clean, starting over again. New job, new relationship, new look, new everything. But I'll be honest, that's not how it really works. I tried that. That's not how it works. And if you try to do it that way, it usually falls apart, because you're trying to delete parts of your life that still shape who you are and how you got here. So the first step isn't becoming somebody brand new. It's letting go of the old stories that don't fit anymore. And I'm really big on stories. You'll notice that as a constant theme on this show. And it's probably because I've been a journalist for 30 years. But let me give you an example, because I think storytelling is really where we learn. For years, I told myself I was only valuable as long as I was at the news desk. My whole identity was built on being Tamsin the anchor, the journalist, the news anchor. And when I walked away, I didn't feel like I lost a job title. I felt like I lost me. Maybe you have your own version of the story. Maybe it's, I'm the caretaker, or I'm the person who has it all together, or I'm the attorney, or I'm not the type of person who's gonna take a risk. The problem is, when we let those stories play on repeat, they can become a cage, and we kind of shrink ourselves to fit into them perfectly. And the longer we stay there, the harder it feels to imagine a different ending. Here's what I want you to try. I want you to take five minutes at any point this week. I don't care if it's when you get up, when you go to sleep in the middle of the day, and write down three old stories that you're still carrying, the ones that feel like a weight. Maybe it's something a parent said. Maybe it's a label you picked up in school. Maybe it's a role you've been playing for so long, you don't even know you're playing the role anymore. And you don't question it. And I'm not judging you. And this is not so. You judge yourself. That's not what it's about. It's about getting those stories out of your head and onto paper. Because when you can see them, and I'm a big fan of writing, and when you write them and they're in front of you, you start to realize, wait, this isn't the truth. This is just some stupid script. I've been following. Neuroscientists call it cognitive diffus, creating a space between you and your thoughts. And that space is a first step to rewriting your new story. Here's a simple way to try it. The next time that old loop shows up, maybe it's, I'm too Old or I never stick with anything. Instead of getting dragged into it, I want you to add two words in front of it. I'm having the thought that. So it goes from I'm too old to I'm having the thought that I'm too old. Do you hear that difference there? The first one sounds like it's a fact, like that's what it is. The second one reminds you it's just a thought. It creates that sliver of distance between you and the story. And in that sliver, you have a choice. You can decide if it's a story you want to still keep carrying or one that you're ready to put down and a chapter you're ready to put away. Once you start to create the space, the next step is to design. Once you start to create that space for yourself and some openness, the next step is to decide who's the person you're becoming. I had no idea. I call it, though, your next chapter, Identity. And I want to be clear, you're not going to know it right away. It's not about throwing out everything that came before. It's about looking at the parts of you that still fit, because there's probably some awesome ones that still feel true, that you love, and bringing those with you, carrying them forward while letting go of the parts that may not serve you anymore. When I left my career as a news anchor After 30 years, I was terrified. I had no other idea of what I would do. In my day, that job wasn't just something I did. It was who I was. It was how people introduced me. It was what I talked about when I went to a party. It was what my family talked about at dinners. It was why I felt important. And I remember thinking, if I walk away from this, do I still matter? Here's what I learned. When you start a new chapter, the old one doesn't disappear. It just becomes part of your story. The skills that I built in that career, the storytelling, connecting, holding space for other people's truths, listening, they're the reasons I could create documentaries, write a book, grow a community, start this show. I didn't erase that part of me. I rewrote it. And you can do the same. First of all, you've got to name what you're leaving behind. That's number one. You have to name it. Most of us drag old identities around like heavy luggage, even when they don't fit anymore. Maybe you still call yourself the people pleaser, even though you've been quietly setting boundaries for years. Maybe you still Wear the badge of honor of the dependable one who never drops the ball, ever, even though the thought of it leaves you exhausted. Here's what I want you to do. I want you to grab a piece of paper and write down the titles or the labels that no longer serve you. Not in a judgmental way, in a way of honoring yourself. I was the caretaker. I was the overachiever. I was the person who kept the peace. See them for what they are, the roles that you once played. And then you've got to ask yourself, do I want to carry this role into my next chapter? If not, you can set it down. It's okay. Before we go any further, I want to pause for a moment here, because there is one part of rebuilding your next chapter that does not get enough credit or attention, and that's sleep. When you're in a season of change, rewriting your story, making big decisions, and stepping into something new, your brain just doesn't rest when you get into bed. It needs a place to process everything that's been going on. Your body doesn't, like, tag along for that information if you're exhausted. Your nervous system doesn't reset if you're running on empty. And I promise you this, your brain cannot make space for possibility when it's just trying to survive. And that's why I want to tell you about the Audible Sleep Collection, a benefit included for Audible members that's designed to help you unwind, help you fall asleep, and most importantly for me, stay asleep or find relaxation any time of day. The Audible Sleep Collection features bedtime stories, guided meditations, scene sound, bass, ASMR, soundscapes, and sleep, 101 short educational pieces, and all of them have been created to help you relax and rest in a way that supports your body and your mind. Bedtime stories are written with no beginning, middle, or end, so you're not trying to stay up to finish them. It helps your mind just kind of drift into a peaceful, restful sleep. And I mean, isn't that just perfect and what we all want? Soundscapes let you escape with nature and calm, with real recordings from places like forests, oceans, and nighttime landscapes that really encourage your body to let go of the tension that we have all day long. Then there are meditations that are guided by wellness experts in musical elements, everything from breathing practices to tones designed to calm your mind and your body before bed. This isn't about fixing everything in your life. It's about giving your mind a place to land, especially when you're busy thinking about what's next what you've left behind what's on your to do list tomorrow morning what you haven't done yet when you sleep better, everything about change feels manageable. The fear gets quieter, the decisions get clearer, and then you have more energy to show up as a person you're becoming. And that matters because you don't just need a lot of motivation in order to rewrite your story. You actually need rest, a steady, calm nervous system, and a mind that can see a future with clarity. The Audible Sleep Collection is included for members, and if you're not one yet, you can kickstart your wellbeing journey with your first audiobook. Free when you sign up for a free 30 day trial and free@Audible.com Tamsen membership is $14.95 a month. After 30 days, cancel anytime. Listening to the top voices and well being sounds like self care to me. Audible. There's more to imagine when you listen okay, let's go ahead and get back to the conversation and let's keep on building your next chapter, the next tool I want to talk about defining your next chapter self. This is where most of us freeze, and I did because I thought I needed to see the whole picture. But you don't have to have a 10 year plan. When somebody says to me like what's your three year plan? I don't know, I can barely get through the next hour. You just need to have a snapshot of what your next chapter could look like. So take the pressure off yourself. One thing I like to do is writing out a week in the life of the you that you're becoming. Not abstract, like actual real details. How do you start your Monday? What do you do after dinner? How do you handle stress? Do you have a free hour in the day? Who's in your circle? What are the habits that you want to protect even on the busiest days? Like I want to go for a walk every morning so that time is set aside for me. I have to do that every morning to get my day started. Before I left television, I wrote the life out. I wanted mornings where I wasn't rushing to the studio at 3pm, afternoons spent actually creating, evenings where I wasn't too drained and I could actually have dinner with my husband, which I wasn't able to do the whole time I was working. Writing it down made it real and gave me something to actually move toward that I could see in my head. And it wasn't just those career achievements, it was actually life that went along with it. The third thing I want you to practice it in small ways. And this is, I think, where the change really sticks. You don't become your next chapter self by making one giant leap. You have to do it in tiny, consistent choices that feel almost too small to matter. Like, I don't know, could that make a difference? But they do add up. For me, that small choice was social media. Before I left my career as a news anchor, I promised myself I would post one video a day on social media. Just one. Most days that meant staying up an hour after work, extra figuring out lighting, messing up my lines, feeling embarrassed, not knowing what to talk about, mortified that barely anyone was watching. It didn't feel glamorous. It didn't feel life changing. It just felt like a commitment. Here's what happened. One video turned into a week, a week turned into a month. And before I knew it, that little promise I kept to myself opened the door to building a community of over 4 million women, writing a book, and starting this very show. None of it came from a giant leap. It came from one small, repeated action. And that's really what I want you to see. Maybe your next chapter self is someone who speaks up at work. It doesn't mean delivering a speech tomorrow. It means making a comment in one meeting. Maybe your next chapter self is someone who finally prioritizes their health. Doesn't mean running a marathon. It means going for that 30 minute walk after dinner or before you go to work. Every small action is a little breadcrumb for your brain because again, it tells your nervous system, this is who I am now. And the more evidence you gather, the less it feels like you're pretending to be somebody you're not. And the more it feels like the truth. I have to be real, though. It's one thing to start showing up differently for yourself, it's another when you start showing up differently in front of people who think they already know who you are, that fear is real. Cause now you're stepping into your next chapter and. And not everyone around you is going to like this updated version of yourself. Some are gonna keep holding onto the old story. She's a quiet one. He's the dependable one who never takes risks. She's the news anchor. That's all she can do, right? When I left tv, I cannot tell you how many times people introduced me as Tamsen from the news. Even after I'd built a company, produced a documentary, written a book, it didn't matter. To them, I was still the person I used to be. And to be honest, sometimes it made me question if this new identity was real or if everyone was, like, seeing secretly waiting for me to fail and crawl back to my job. Here's what I learned. You don't need everyone to believe in your new chapter. You just need to keep practicing it long enough that it becomes undeniable. And that starts with you. Here are a few ways to navigate that fear. Because a lot of people say, how do I reinvent myself? I think there are a lot of answers to that question, but here's where I think it can start to take root. I want you to expect resistance. Doesn't mean you're wrong. It just means that people are adjusting. Like their brains have filed you under a certain label. They think this is what you do, and it might take time for them to rewrite that file. But that has nothing to do with your decision. 2. Anchor to your why Even if you feel wobbly, even if you're not exactly sure what your why is, you do know somewhere there in your gut, you've got to listen to it. Just because somebody made a comment, I need you to remind yourself, why did I start this for me? Every time somebody says, I miss seeing you on TV, I go back to my DMs that I get from women saying, your videos are helping me feel less alone. I know my why. Number three. Let the results do the talking. You do not need to convince people with explanations. You don't have to have it perfectly figured out. You don't have to argue. You just got to keep showing up. Consistency of those actions speaks louder than anything else ever could. Here's the truth. The fear never fully disappears. I have it every day. I wake up at night in a sweat. Sometimes I just do. But courage isn't about waiting until you don't feel afraid. It's about learning to keep moving anyway. Even if your voice shakes, even if you're sweating, even if you have a pit in your stomach, even if the people around you don't get it yet. Even if you feel like you have some failures. Because the moment you stop waiting for everybody else's approval, that is a moment your reinvention truly begins. Here's something else I learned. You don't have to build your next chapter alone. Reinvention, or rewriting, as I like to call it, happens faster and less scary when you're surrounded by people who get it. For me, that community became millions of women who openly talk about menopause, midlife, and what it really means to start fresh. Those conversations reminded me that I'm not the Only one feeling stuck and gave me courage in the days that I just wanted to quit or didn't know what to talk about. So as you think about your next chapter self, I want you to ask, who are the people I need around me? Who lifts me up? Who reflects back the version of me I'm becoming, not just the version I used to be? Because community is not just support. I've really learned that. It's fuel. It's proof that you're not walking this road alone. I hope that today you learned that reinvention is not about tossing everything out and starting from scratch. It's about carrying the lessons, the scars, the wins, and rewriting them into a version of you that fits right now. And when you do that, you don't just change your own story. You change the way everyone around you experiences you. So here's what I want you to do today. Pick one small step that belongs to your next chapter. Maybe it's sending that email. Maybe it's blocking off some time for yourself. Maybe it's seeing me in the park in the morning. Maybe it's saying no when you usually say yes. Just one thing. That's how you start rewriting. And if you love this episode, you need to hear my conversation with Chip Connolly. Chip flatlined nine times in 90 minutes. He told me that story right here in the studio. It taught him everything about living. He is the definition of rewriting your next chapter. I know you're gonna love Chip's story. You can find the link in the show notes or description. I wanna thank you so much for spending this time with me. Until next time, I'm Tamsen Fadal. And remember, live your someday today. Okay, Tam Fam. Quick reminder. It is time to take care of you. And honestly, who better to help you do that than the top voices in wellbeing on Audible? No matter what you're working on right now, whether it's your sleep, a relationship, your mindset, your money, your parenting, Audible has something that can support you in a way that fits into your everyday. Here's why I love Audible. Cause I listen to it every morning on my morning walks. It is so easy. And I learned something. You can listen to bestselling authors like Brene Brown and and Jay Shetty. Get inspired in the kitchen with chef Jamie Oliver and find parenting favorites like raising good humans. Kickstart your wellbeing journey with your first audiobook. Free when you sign up for a 30 day trial at audible. Com. Membership is 1495amonth. After 30 days, you can cancel at any time.