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Foreign. Hi there friends. I am so glad you're here. So I have been wanting to talk to you about this one for a while and so many of you have been asking me about it. So today is the day. I'm super excited. If you follow me anywhere on Social, you have probably been watching me share little bits and pieces of my closet journey and I cannot say how many of you have reached out about all of it. I've gotten dms, I've gotten emails, tickets, texts from friends I haven't heard from in years asking me about it. Every single one of you wanting to know more. So this episode is for you. And real quick, if you're new to the Tamsen show, first of all, welcome. I'm so glad you're here. This is the place we figure out how to build your next chapter together. The confident, clear eyed version of your life that you actually want to be living and that you're enjoying. This show is sponsored by MIDI Health. Menopause doesn't happen overnight. It happens over years of nights. Hormones start shifting long before your period ends and most doctors aren't trained to spot it. That's why MIDI Health exists and it's why I tell every woman I know about them. MIDI is the only virtual care clinic built specifically for women navigating midlife hormonal changes from perimenopause through menopause. And yes, visits are covered by insurance. Book your first virtual visit today@join Midi.com Tamsen that's join Midi.com Tamsen at DSW, we ask the important questions like what shoes are you going to wear? Whether you're prepping for wedding season, festival, festival season, or just planning the ultimate vacay, the right shoes can make or break an rsvp. So own the moment. You've got big plans and we've got just the shoes at the perfect price of course. Get ready to get ready with Designer Shoe Warehouse. Head to your DSW store or dsw.com today and let us surprise you. I'm so happy you're with us. If this episode helps you in any way at all, please if you could take a moment to leave a review when you get a minute. It really helps other women find this show and I appreciate it so much. Let's go ahead and get into it. So a couple weeks ago I thought I was just cleaning out my closet and you guys know me. I love to declutter. On the surface that is what it was, but it has spiraled into being one of the most transformative practices I'VE done in a really long time. I think the reason it resonated with so many of you is because deep down, you already knew. You knew this was about more than just clothes in a big way. And I want to make you a promise right at the top of this episode. You. You can do this, too. You can walk into your own closet and take back a piece of your life you didn't even realize you had given up. Because the truth is, you cannot build your next chapter while old crap is still hanging in front of you every morning, looming over you, taking up space where the new woman is trying to live. And that woman is in there, and we're going to try to make room for her. Today I hired a stylist who was referred to me through a friend of a friend. She is very private, and since so many of you asked, I'm trying to convince her to come on and do an episode with me and. And maybe we'll do some stuff for social specifically for you. But today I want to talk about the why behind it, answer your questions, and walk you through how you can do this for yourself. So I want to be clear before I start. You don't need to hire a stylist to do it. You can grab your best friend. You can FaceTime somebody in your family. You can watch some of these pieces of advice she gives me. But honestly, the best piece of my advice is just to get somebody to help you and do it alongside you so you have another opinion. Because trying to do it alone is where most of us get stuck. And that's where I got stuck for a long time. I'm going to explain why in just a minute. The questions you are all asking me are almost identical. Why did I do it? How did I do it? And what did I learn from cleaning out my closet, which sounds like such a bizarre thing. So this is what we're going to do today. I'm going to answer all three of those questions. And first I want to get into why I did it. So I have to be honest about the why, because I don't think originally I was being honest with myself about it. The version I have been giving people when they ask is a short version. The short version is I needed to just kind of get organized. My closet was a mess. I wanted a system. But I don't think now, looking back, that's really why. The real reason I did it is that I had been getting dressed on autopilot for, I do not know how long. My uniform had been narrowed down to Almost nothing. The colorful suit, the matching vest set, the athleisure outfit I threw on almost every day because I felt okay and I knew what I was doing. It was like, easy and safe and I knew what fit. And then I had this same handful of pieces in rotation over and over, skipping over everything else in the closet. And by the way, there's nothing wrong with any of it. I felt fine in all of it. I just didn't feel like me anymore. I feel like I was going through these motions. I wasn't picking out what I wanted to wear. I wasn't having fun with it. I was picking out what was the easiest. And I used to joke like, I need granimals. I just want the things to match together. And that's it. Just make it as simple as possible for me. And one morning I caught myself doing it. And a small voice in the back of my head went, when was the last time you actually liked anything you put on? And I didn't have an answer for it. And it's so crazy to me when I think about that. I had this big closet that I dreamed about my whole life, stuffed with clothes and shoes, and there I was, walking out the door in the same workout set every single day. And I knew I had to change something. And honestly, it had gotten worse without me noticing. I'd be standing in the closet at 6 o' clock in the morning looking for something, and I'd grab the same outfit I'd worn three times over and over, and I'd catch my reflection on the way out and I'm like, I don't even. I don't even see myself anymore. Like, I don't even know who I am. I'd see this woman who looked acceptable enough for whatever I was going to do. A speech, a dinner, whatever it was. And that was the bar. It was like, fine, that's just enough. And I hadn't realized that's what I kept lowering it to. And that's the part nobody really talks about. By this point in life, we have been getting dressed for everybody else for so long that we forgot what dressing for ourselves even feels like. We dress for the day, for the room, for the camera, if that's part of our job. And somewhere in between, we stop dressing for ourselves. So when I tell you I hired a stylist, what I really was doing was inviting somebody into my house to help me figure out who I was again, because I had genuinely lost track. I used to be the person who had fun with clothes, and I loved it. I got that from my mom, and I got that from my grandmother. My grandmother managed women's stores since I was very young. I remember, like, playing with the hangers. Like, I got to put the hangers on the racks. Like, I had been around clothes and fashion for my whole life. So the closet was the piece that we agreed to start. But the question I was actually asking was bigger than that. The question was, who is this woman standing in her own closet and what does she want? And I think this is why so many of you wrote about this to me. Because most women are doing something like this. Walking into a closet full of clothes and saying, I don't have anything to wear, and doing the easiest thing possible, throwing on the thing maybe you had on a few days ago and not even caring. And when you do that long enough, you start to disappear inside of your own life. And to the women listening, this part is hard to come to terms with, because we all have a million excuses why we're avoiding things. Maybe it's our weight. Maybe it's not wanting to face the reality of what's going on in our lives or how we've changed or things we didn't sign up for. And it could be all of it or none of it, but avoidance itself is usually part of what keeps us stuck. So now to the practical part of how I did it, because a lot of you asked how it all works, and I didn't even know myself at first. So first, let me tell you why I hired somebody instead of doing it all myself. I've tried to do it myself many times. We all have. You go in on a Saturday with the best of intentions. You have a garbage bag, a place you're gonna put your donations, the other pile for this and that. You pull out a few things, hold them up, and then say, like, oh, maybe I'll wear this someday. And you put it right back in, and you move on. Two hours later, you've made no progress and you're tired, and you give up. I don't know if that sounds familiar to you, but I did that for years. The reason it is so hard to do it alone is because you're negotiating with yourself, and you're the only one in the room who actually has to live with the decisions that you make at the end of it. So you cheat. You keep the thing you haven't worn in five years because what if. Or you put back the blazer that doesn't fit anymore because you used to love it. You might decide to keep a dress with the tag still on it, by the way, because you spent the money on it anyway. Alone, you can talk yourself into anything. With another person in the room or on FaceTime, that all ends. You could ask a friend, you can ask your daughter. Just have somebody who's going to be honest with you. The point is having a second pair of eyes that loves you but is not emotionally attached to that cardigan from 2008. Somebody whose job it is to look at the outfit and not the memory of when you bought it. The mechanics were simple, but they were non negotiable. So she had me try on every single item in the closet. And I thought I was going to get to cheat this, like everything, down to basic T shirts, down to things, like everything. Things that I had not pulled out like I had a dud, was like, this has dust on it now. And that was a part I didn't expect, but it was the most necessary part of the whole day. And let me just say something. When I say everything, I'm saying every tank top that has a rip in it, every pair of jeans that maybe you still can't get fit into right now, every pair of shoes that makes you miserable. Because trying everything on. You cannot lie to yourself when you see it on your body, you just can't. So we went one piece at a time. I tried it on, we looked in the mirror, then she looked at me. And then I had about 10 seconds to decide whether or not it was still mine. 10 seconds, not 10 minutes. It wasn't a negotiation. Not, let me sleep on it and I'll put it in this pile just in case. I didn't have a just in case pile. It was like, yes or no. Because in 10 seconds your body already knows the first reaction is the real reaction. Everything after that is your brain coming in with excuses about why you should keep it. And I know you're like, Tamsen, we're talking about clothes in a closet, but I am telling you, this has moved into every other part of my life. It is helping me make decisions on another level. And I. It's blowing my mind too. So once we made the call on each piece, we sorted things out into four piles. Keep it, donate it, toss it, or sell it. And then we also had a pile for tailoring. So I didn't put things back in the closet that had a rip or a missing button or a broken zipper or whatever. So having those categories made it so much easier because it took the open ended pressure off. It wasn't just yes or no. It was, where does this belong? Now? If I threw something out, it was for the stuff that was stained or worn out because nobody wants that. If I sold it, it was for a higher end piece that I had spent real money on and I was like scared to get rid of for all these years and actually worked with a consignment service for those and then the rest got donated. Within the first hour, I realized I was not editing a closet, I was editing myself. I was editing a person. Each piece I held up was like this small question of who I am now. And most of the time the answer was, that's not mean anymore. When did I pick that out? And who was that? And I'm allowed to let her go. It took close to a full day, almost eight hours, including some breaks, because even before we started, my stylist told me to make sure I ate and drank and stay hydrated. She actually said that the day before and I laughed. I was like, oh my gosh, I don't need to get hydrated to go through my closet. And by the end of the day I was exhausted. I've tried a lot of skincare over the years and what keeps me coming back to One Skin is that the science is real. Their founding team, their longevity researchers. Researchers who built everything around OS1 a peptide that targets senescent cells, which they call zombie cells, which drive so much of what we see when we look in the mirror. Since I started using it, my skin looks more even, feels stronger, and I notice a difference. And by the way, if you're not using sunscreen daily, their face SPF has the same OS1 peptide plus mineral protection, which is a smart place to start. Heading into the summer, One Skin's results are backed by peer reviewed clinical studies and over 10,000 five star reviews. Born from over a decade of longevity research, OneSkin's OS1 peptide is proven to target the visible signs of aging, helping you unlock your healthiest skin now. And as you age. For a limited time, Try OneSkin with 15% off using code TAMSIN@OnSkinCO. TAMSIN, that's 15% off OneSkin CO with Code Tamsen. After you purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them. Please support the Tamsen show and tell them we sent you. Oh gosh, I love this time of year. There is something about this time of year where I just want to move, I want to walk, I want to get outside, I want to just get in motion. Long walks, workouts, being outside again, it makes me rethink the basics. I'm wearing every day. I've been getting back into my lifting workouts and bomba sports socks have been such a game changer. They're cushioned where you need them, they stay in place and I'm not distracted by like adjusting everything all the time. I can just focus on moving and you know, I love my morning walks and you know what happens when I put my boots back in the closet. Then I'm all about comfortable footwear. BOMBAS has warm weather footwear and it's back in rotation. It's lightweight, supportive and perfect for travel days or for just running out the door, especially when it comes to their sandals. Even their basic sofa surprised me overall. The tees, the underwear, they're soft, they're breathable and, and they just feel like an upgrade from what I was wearing before. This is also a part that really matters to me. For every item you purchase, an essential clothing item is donated to someone facing housing insecurity. One purchased, one donated. With over 150 million donations and counting, that is pretty amazing to me. Head over to bombas.comtamsen and use code TAMSEN for 20% off your first purchase. That's B O M B A S.comtamsen code TAMSEN at checkout. I sort of just rolled my eyes because I thought this was going to be done in a couple hours and I was going to fly through it and have the rest of my day for free. Eight hours later, I'd had two Joe and the juice sandwiches, chug water all day long, had coffee breaks, snack breaks, because honestly, it is freaking exhausting. But not physically so much as mentally. By the end of that, I had a pile that filled half of the hallway and I was wrecked. Not in a bad way, like the way that you're wrecked after a good cry. And you just feel like I'm a little bit raw right now. There are gonna be moments where you don't wanna do it anymore. When you put on a pair of jeans, doesn't fit, that you're like trying to squeeze them over your stomach and you're like, I'm not doing this to myself. And I thought, why am I putting myself through this? Why? I know these don't fit, but that's exactly why you need that person in the room with you because they're not going to let you quit. Mine wouldn't. Almost every time I did, and there were several times that I wanted to, I'd come across another piece that really surprised me. A shirt I thought that I tossed that turned out to be the most important thing to me, or a blazer that I thought was a. That I couldn't get off my body fast enough. And the surprises kept going. And they taught me that I didn't actually even know my closet anymore. I walked in and out and, like, looked at the rack all as, like, one piece that I just ignored completely. I'd been operating off this muscle memory and assumption. And almost everything I had assumed was not right. So this part I wanna spend the most time on because this is where it stopped being about clothes. And I'll probably get. I could get a little emotional talking about some of it. It's crazy that clothes are emotional, but some of these things brought up memories that I forgot about and I didn't know I was carrying. There were three sections in my closet that broke me. And I want to walk you through each one of them because I think everybody listening has their own version of this. I'll start with this section first. The news dresses. That's my career section. Basically. I was a news anchor for almost 30 years. So I had collected a lot of clothes from that time in my life. I was given clothes, I bought clothes. I had to be on camera every single day. So that whole section was like. Like an Easter egg basket of clothes. It was every color you can imagine dresses I'd worn at the news desk year after year. Long sleeve, short sleeve, long, short, tight, not tight. I left that career almost three years ago now, which is, like, mind boggling. And I had not touched a single one of those dresses. Every time I would pull one out thinking I was going to wear it, I'm like, no, I'm not gonna wear this. But I couldn't throw them out either because I remembered everything. I remembered stories I had done with some of these dresses. It was crazy. And it was honestly hard for me to let go of the fact that I'm not a news anchor anymore. And I made the decision myself. But it had been my identity for such a long time. Tamsin the news anchor. And I think a lot of us have that in our careers. Like, we identify with that chair that we're sitting in. Whatever that is, the corner office chair, whatever the job is, we kind of really identify with. So I was thinking if I got rid of these dresses, it felt like I was getting rid of a huge part of myself. And when the stylist asked about them, she's like, what is this section? I, like, never have seen you wear any of these. I tried to make this practical argument that maybe I would need them Someday. And she just looked at me and I'm like, I know, I know that I'm not keeping all of these. I just knew I was hanging onto those because that version of me who wore them wasn't fully gone. They were kind of like a placeholder for an identity that I wasn't ready to admit had ended. So this was a grief of some sorts. And even though when I walked away from my career, I was walking into something that I felt was so important to me and I'm so happy I did it, but I was still holding onto that career version of myself. This woman who had walked in the studio every morning at 4:00 in the morning, who had a whole identity tied to the role, a role had done starting in like my 20s. And I had not let myself mourn that because I'd moved into a life I love so quickly. But love for a new thing does not cancel out the old thing. And I didn't know that both can be true at the same time. And those dresses were a place I had quietly been storing all of it. And by the way, that section is very narrow right now. So I think this is something a lot of you need to hear, because so many of us are in some version of this. Whether it's a career change or it's empty nest or it's a marriage that's different now, or whatever it is, it's a version of yourself that, that you have moved past or that's moving past you, whether you choose it or not. We've been told to celebrate the next chapter, and we should do that. I'm the biggest cheerleader of that. But we don't always let ourselves grieve. What came before and what I learned in those few days in the closet with that stylist is that you can be grateful for where you are and still grieve who you were at the same time without contradiction, because you have not lost that person. My stylist actually had me keep a few of the dresses. I definitely got rid of a lot of them. I donated other ones. But here's the thing. Right now, the ones that I got rid of, they're going to women who I think can really use them. And I really, really like that. And the ones I kept, I look at in a completely different way. She taught me I can dress them up, I can put them with boots, I can do all sorts of things. They're not just go to do the news anymore, they're just dresses. But I could not separate those two things. And I couldn't see them that way until we got rid of all the clutter around them. Next, there's the body section of my closet. You probably know what I'm talking about. Jeans, pants, dresses from years and years in a lot of different sizes. And I really want to take a moment to talk about this one, because so many of you have reached out about this part specifically. And I know it's because you are living right here, too. My weight has been a absolute roller coaster for the last 10 years. I've been through a divorce, perimenopause. I've been through menopause. I'm now in post menopause, and my body has shifted. It. Oh. In Covid. And my body shifted at every single one of those stages. So by the time I walked into that closet, the honest truth, I had no idea what to keep, what to let go of, or how to dress my body anymore. And I had been afraid to let things go, because what if my weight goes up or what if it goes down? And what if I get rid of these things? Then three months from now, my body is different again. So then I wasted all that money, and. And I'd been keeping clothes in three different sizes, at least just in case. And she noticed it, too. She was like, tamsen, there's so many different sizes. And I was like, yeah, because there's so many different versions of me over the years and not a closet full of clothes for me where I am today. So we tell ourselves we're being practical or we're going to lose the weight. Why throw out perfectly good clothes? And I would tell myself it was motivation to fit into pants that fit me in my early 40s. Like, I'm going to get into these again one day. I'm just going to keep them in there until I get into them. And what happened was it turned into a really. A crappy judgment for me. Every time you open your closet, those clothes are saying, oh, hey, you used to be this size, and you're not anymore, and we're waiting for you to fix it. That is not motivation. That is like a form of bullying. And I have to admit, standing in front of all that, where I had been at war with my body for years over a number that doesn't even mean anything anymore. My body has changed. That's what bodies do at this stage of life. And keeping a wardrobe that only fit a previous version of me, it was not a strategy. It was a refusal to accept the woman I actually am right now. And that's where I stopped it and I didn't even know I was doing it at the time. So I want to say this to you if you are still in that war, because I know so many of you have told me you are. You've been told your whole life that your body is something to fix and something to control or apologize for. And then this hormonal transition hits. Your body changes in ways that, I mean, nobody warned us about. And the message you've absorbed your whole life gets louder. Lose weight. Get your body back. Look like you used to look like you did before when you were younger. And it sucks. Most of us are carrying it around like it's normal. It's not normal. It's a weight on top of an already heavy stage in life. And one of the things that closet Day, those two days did for me was to put it down. When I finally put all those clothes in the giveaway pile, I swear, I swear to you, I was so relieved, I cried because I wasn't getting rid of pants. I was getting rid of that conversation every day when I walked into my closet. Like, hey, these don't fit anymore. But maybe they will one day. This show is sponsored by MIDI Health. Every day I hear from women who think they're losing their minds. Can't sleep, can't focus, crying in the carpool line for no reason. They've been to three, four or five doctors and walked out with different theories and zero answers. And not one of them says the word perimenopause. Because here's the truth. Menopause doesn't happen overnight. It happens over years of nights. Hormones start shifting long before your period ends and most doctors aren't trained to spot it. That's why MIDI Health exists and it's why I tell every woman I know about them. MIDI is the only virtual care clinic built specifically for women navigating midlife hormonal changes from perimenopause through menopause. It was created by women for women and the clinicians are menopause experts and hormone trained specialists who actually listen. No one should tell you it's all in your head. No more being told this is just something you have to live with. Your MIDI clinician will build a personalized care plan with safe FDA approved options, hormonal and non hormonal, based on what you actually need. And yes, visits are covered by insurance. Book your first virtual Visit today@joinmitti.com Tamsin that's join midi.com Tamsin so I don't know about you, but I used to think. Waking up at 3am feeling wired but exhausted and losing my train of thought mid sentence during the day was just kind of part of the season of life. Then I learned how much magnesium matters during perimenopause and menopause, especially for relaxation, restful sleep, stress support and recovery. It's why I added a magnesium breakthrough by Bio Optimizers to my nightly routine. It has seven forms of magnesium in one formula and for me it's become part of that simple nighttime ritual that helps me feel calmer, more supported, and I have to be honest, more like myself. If you're ready to finally sleep great and feel like yourself Again, head to buyoptimizers.com tamsen and use my exclusive code TAMSEN to get 15% off any order. You'll get great discounts, free gifts and the peace of mind of never running out. And BuyOptimizers backs it with a 365 day, no questions asked money back guarantee, a full year, zero risk. Because at the end of the day Buy Optimizers mission is to empower everyone to live a stronger, longer, better life. And this is one of the best tools I've found to actually do that. Again, that's 15% off@buyoptimizers.com Tamsen when you use my Code Tamsen, make this the year you finally get your sleep, your energy and yourself back. You are allowed to take up the space that you need to take up whatever size you are six months from now. We're going to dress you for that too. There was one piece that day that went the other way. Not everything in the closet though was about letting go and throwing it into piles. Some of it was about holding it on for the right reasons. At the back of one of my drawers I have these like baskets. They're like kind of drawers. And it was piled under another pile of stuff. I hadn't touched it in years. It was a red zip up sweater. Nothing fancy, just something I would not have thought twice about. But when I pulled it out, it stopped me in my tracks. It was from my dad after my mom had died and my dad was on his own for the first time in his life and he had never been the one to like buy gifts or clothes. Like that was always my mom's thing. But that year he wanted to get me something and didn't know what to do. So he bought me this like sweater that was a Ralph Lauren. I don't even know what. It was like a zip up. And I remember he was like so nervous but so proud. And it broke my heart. And I pulled it out of that drawer, and I just cried because that sweater is not. It's not a sweater. It was. I don't know. It was like my dad trying. It was my mom not being there. I'm going to get emotional again. But just to say there are some things in your closet that you do not have to get rid of. There are actually some real memories there. So I'm always keeping that. And the stylist said she's gonna try to find a way to style it. I don't even know if my dad remembers it, like, I'm sure he does. And he's gonna be like, I don't know what you're talking about, but I remember. So there are some things in your closet that are not weighing you down. They're holding you up. And part of doing this work is learning the difference between those two things. So those three sections taught me this. My closet was not full of clothes. It was full of versions of myself that I was afraid to release. The career version, the body all over the place version, and then the emotional version. Every hanger was a date stamp of a former life that I had been guarded. It was like a museum that nobody was visiting. Every. Well, I was visiting it. I was visiting every morning and then not finding anything there. I'm not afraid of getting older. I talk about it a lot. I've said it for years, and, I mean, it's. But I was really stuck with this, and I had no idea I was holding onto every former version of myself so tightly. There was no room for the woman that I am today. So let's talk about what I'm doing a little bit differently now, because I'm still figuring this out in real time. I didn't walk out of that day with a perfect closet and a perfect sense of self. And, like, I'm so happy with everything. But things have genuinely shifted. I have less. I. So much more. Less than I used to. I'm wearing what I have now, and what's left, I really like. And when I walk into the closet or open my suitcase, I see, like, this smaller, sharper collection of clothes that all belong to who I am now. And that decision of what to wear takes 30 seconds instead of whining to Ira for 15 minutes and then being paralyzed by what to do. And that alone has changed my mornings, and it sets me up for my day. My days feel better as a result. It's great. I'm telling you. It's crazy. I'VE also started asking what I want to wear before I leave the house, too, instead of grabbing whatever requires the least thought. And that sounds small, but it's like this daily practice of pausing, asking what I want in that day, what I want to look like, how I want to feel. And I think once you start doing that, you start doing it with everything else, too. So I have given myself permission to keep buying things, but only for who I am today, not for who I want to be, not. Not for an event I might have one day. But the woman that's standing in my closet right now. And that's been a huge shift for me because it means I'm dressing forward, not backward. I'm not chasing the trends. I'm not spending ridiculous money on things that I will never wear because, I don't know, some celebrity had them on. I thought it looked cool, and hopefully one day I can fit into it. And my stylist is still working with me, helping me add new things back slowly, things that are for the woman I am now. And we're figuring out this next chapter of Style together. And it feels intentional. Like, some of the things that she told me I should wear, I'm like, oh, I can never wear that. And then I look and I go, oh, I used to wear those. I liked it, but I couldn't wear it because I got a size two sizes too small. Every piece that comes in now is chosen on purpose, not just off the rack, because I needed something real fast. And that has changed how it feels to get dressed every single day. And honestly, it started bleeding into everything else. I noticed it with my kitchen. I was opening cabinets and getting rid of bags of stuff, things that I just have been living around for years and not paying attention to and asking myself, do I need this? Do I want it? Am I using this? Is this for who I am today or who I used to be? And I'm not telling you to clean out your kitchen. I'm telling you that once you start that question in one place, you cannot unask it anywhere else. So consider that a fair warning, by the way, because that whole weekend after she left, that was like, a Wednesday. Thursday we did that. Saturday and Sunday, I cleaned, like, went from my makeup drawer to my purse. Like, everything. I would have cleaned out Ira's closet if he had let me. He won't let me anywhere near it. Here's what I want you to take from this. Here's where I land. If you have been avoiding your own closet, you're not alone. And I want you to know why. It's not because you're lazy or disorganized. It's because some part of you knows what's in there, and it's going to take a lot to open it up and get this done. You're not avoiding the clothes, but you might be avoiding a conversation with yourself that the clothes are gonna start. And the conversation goes something like this. Who am I now? And where did the woman who picked out all of this stuff go? You don't have to hire a stylist. You don't need a system. You just need a trusted person in that room or over FaceTime with you who is not emotionally attached to that stuff. And you need to give yourself 10 seconds per piece once it's on. What's on the other side of opening that closet like this is not loss. I know it feels like it, but it is not. What's on the other side is a woman who's here right now. It's a lot of clarity. It's a lot of decluttering. It's a lot of. I don't know, it's just. It's really given me a lot of lift and a lot of ease. She has things to wear, places to go, a life she wants to live, and she just needs you to make room. So consider this your permission slip to go and find her, please, and let me know how it goes. I really do hope this episode gives you something to sit with and think about. If any of this hit, let me know. Send me a message. You can text, you can call, whatever you want and maybe tell me what you found in your own closet. That was really meaningful. I'd love to hear from you. You can email me@podcastamsonfadell.com or leave a voicemail or text. The number is 917-382-4277. That's 917-382-4277. We'd love to hear from you here, and if you have a second, if you could please leave me a review, because it really, really makes a difference. We read all of them and I really do love to hear what you think. There is a whole team of women behind the scenes here building out these episodes, and your review is what helps them keep showing up each and every week and giving you what you want. I can't wait to hear what you think of this one. Make sure you subscribe so you don't miss any of the upcoming episodes. We have so much more coming up for you. I can't wait. I am here to make sure your next chapter is your most confident one yet. I love you guys and I'll talk to you in the next episode. 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Episode: The Closet Clean Out Guide: Declutter Your Life and Get Your Confidence Back
Host: Tamsen Fadal
Date: June 22, 2026
In this heartfelt and practical solo episode, Tamsen Fadal takes listeners through the transformative experience of cleaning out her closet—an act that turned into an unexpected journey of self-discovery, emotional release, and reclaiming confidence. What begins as an attempt to get organized evolves into a deep reflection on life’s chapters, identity shifts, body acceptance, and the power of letting go. Tamsen offers practical advice, shares emotionally resonant stories, and invites her audience to consider how a simple closet clean-out can spark lasting change.
On Realizing She’d Lost Herself:
“When was the last time you actually liked anything you put on? And I didn’t have an answer for it.” (09:55)
On Why We Need Help:
“You need a second pair of eyes that loves you, but is not emotionally attached to that cardigan from 2008.” (18:48)
On Self-Acceptance and Grief:
“Love for a new thing does not cancel out the old thing. And I didn’t know that both can be true at the same time.” (41:40)
On Body Image and Wardrobe:
“Keeping a wardrobe that only fit a previous version of me... was a refusal to accept the woman I actually am right now.” (50:46)
On Sentimental Items:
“Some things in your closet are not weighing you down. They’re holding you up.” (57:06)
On the Invitation to Listeners:
“Consider this your permission slip to go and find her... What’s on the other side is a woman who’s here right now.” (1:09:45)
For questions, stories, or to share your own closet breakthrough, Tamsen encourages you to text or leave a voicemail at 917-382-4277 or email podcast@tamsenfadal.com.
For more insights, subscribe to The Tamsen Show and follow @thetamsenshow.