The Fasting Doctor: 5 Science-Backed Tools to Support Your Brain in Menopause

Summary

Podcast Summary:

The Tamsen Show
Host: Tamsen Fadal
Guest: Dr. Mindy Pelz
Episode: The Fasting Doctor: 5 Science-Backed Tools to Support Your Brain in Menopause
Date: December 24, 2025

---

Episode Overview

This episode dives deep into the lived experience and science of menopause with Dr. Mindy Pelz, a New York Times-bestselling author and expert on women’s health and fasting. Tamsen and Dr. Pelz explore how menopause rewires the brain for greater clarity, confidence, and energy — focusing on actionable, science-based tools to navigate “the change." The conversation is candid, relatable, and rooted in empowerment, encouraging women to reclaim their bodies and their identities at midlife.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Changing Conversation Around Menopause

• From Hush to Chaos: Dr. Pelz notes the shift from cultural silence about menopause to today’s overwhelming and contradictory noise. Many feel lost or hopeless amid so much conflicting info.
  • “[We've] gone from a cultural hush around menopause to ...cultural chaos... I wanted to dive in and bring hope back to the conversation.” (03:19)
• Aging Like a Girl: Dr. Pelz encourages women to reclaim the playful, joyful, "girl" parts of themselves — to shed cultural expectations and rediscover intrinsic strength and self.
  • “I think aging like a girl means taking back the parts of us... the childlike girl parts that we turned away from when we were told we needed to look a certain way, act a certain way, be a certain thing.” (04:25)

Rediscovering Self: Isolation and Inquiry

• The Power of Intentional Isolation: Dr. Pelz shares her journey through burnout and codependency, describing how deliberate isolation helped her rediscover her own preferences, energy, and needs.
  • “The isolation became a moment for me to feel my own energy. At first, it was horrible... but when I got alone, everything started to slow down...” (10:09)
• Small Acts of Self-Discovery: Creating a “thinking chair,” setting aside personal physical space, and questioning everything from wake-up times to clothing choices.
• Listening to Your Body: Through solitude, Dr. Pelz learned to recognize the physical manifestations of stress or incongruency — knots, tension, etc.

How Menopause Rewires the Brain

• Brain Remodel Period: Dr. Pelz explains, with research from Lisa Mosconi, how estrogen stimulates cross-talk between the brain’s right (creative, relational) and left (logical, goal-oriented) hemispheres. With declining estrogen, this “cross-referencing” reduces.
  • “Your brain is now setting you up to take care of you.” (15:44)
  • “When estrogen goes away... you can do business goals... without thinking about [others'] feelings.” (17:48)
• Upsides of Brain Rewiring: Menopause can be an invitation for congruency and authenticity; decreased focus on external validation frees up confidence and energy.

Fatigue, Confidence, and the Evolutionary Lens

• The Grandmother Hypothesis: Energy previously used for monthly ovulation returns post-menopause, analogous to what’s seen in blue zone elders and matriarchal tribes.
  • “All that energy it took for the reproductive system comes back to you.” (20:45)
• Redefining Confidence: Confidence is less about experience, more about living in congruence with your real self.
  • Quote: “Confidence comes with congruency.” (22:51)

Tools & Science-Backed Approaches

1. Self-Inquiry and Boundaries

• Repeatedly asking: “What do I want?” — crucial for healing entrenched people-pleasing habits.

2. Metabolic Health

• Measure Hemoglobin A1C: Keep close to 5 for optimal metabolic health; over 5.5 is concerning. (36:16)
• Eat Real Food: Post-menopause, avoid ultra-processed food; focus on fibrous plant foods, legumes, and protein.
  • Feed your gut’s “estrobolome” (bacteria that metabolize estrogen) with a diverse diet high in fiber. (37:33)
  • “Three days. You can change your whole bacterial profile in three days.” (38:22)

3. Carbs and Sugar

• Not anti-carb: “Postmenopausal women need carbs — but good carbs, from nature, not labs.” (40:13)
• Avoid sugar to manage increased insulin resistance. Swap refined sugars for lower-glycemic options (e.g., coconut sugar, fruit).
• Sugar withdrawal lasts ~3 days; offset cravings and lost dopamine by introducing novelty and positive change. (44:48)

4. Dopamine, Novelty, and Motivation

• Lower estrogen = lower dopamine = less drive/motivation.
• Simple ways to replenish:
  • Change routines & environments (move furniture, take new routes, try new foods).
  • Seek and create purposeful moments, even if small.
  • Build community, celebrate others, and avoid negative, energy-draining relationships.
  • “Dopamine loves novelty… You will find a vibrancy come back to your life, I promise you. And it's free.” (46:43)

5. Fasting for the Menopausal Brain

• Fasting as a Healing Instinct: Appropriate fasting increases ketones, which fuel and protect the brain when estrogen is low.
• Recommended Protocol: 13–15 hour fasting window most days (skip breakfast or dinner as suits your lifestyle) to encourage fat-burning and brain repair. (61:38)
• Deeper Benefits: Longer fasts (e.g., 3 days) can “bathe the brain in ketones,” with significant effects on memory and neuroprotection. Build up to longer fasts gradually using the “5-1-1” method: 5 days regular fast, 1 day extended, 1 day off. (63:53)
• Fasting Cautions: Cycling women shouldn’t fast the week before their period; postmenopause, fasting is especially powerful for memory and energy.

Community & Friendships in Midlife

• The importance of intentionally curating community:
  • Let go of draining, negative relationships.
  • Find “butterflies” (women ahead of you), “potentialists” (who inspire your best self), and “anchors” (who listen non-judgmentally). (53:17)
• “How do you feel when you leave that interaction? Do you feel better, or do you feel worse?” (52:41)

---

Memorable Quotes & Timestamps

• “Aging like a girl means taking back the parts of us...that essence that was playful and joyful and did things just for the experience of them…” — Dr. Mindy Pelz (04:25)
• “When I got alone, everything started to slow down, and I stopped adapting to everyone else around me. That's the key.” — Dr. Mindy Pelz (10:09)
• “Your brain is now setting you up to take care of you.” — Dr. Mindy Pelz (15:44)
• “Confidence comes with congruency.” — Dr. Mindy Pelz (22:51)
• “Permission. Confidence comes with congruency. It doesn’t come from experience.” — Dr. Mindy Pelz (22:45)
• “The amount of energy it takes to worry about everybody else and what they think of you, like, that's a tremendous amount of energy.” — Dr. Mindy Pelz (31:24)
• “Three days. You can change your whole bacterial profile.” — Dr. Mindy Pelz (38:22)
• “Dopamine loves novelty.” — Dr. Mindy Pelz (45:08)
• “I want women to start to look at fasting...as for your brain.” — Dr. Mindy Pelz (66:06)

---

Important Timestamps

• 04:25 — Defining “Aging Like a Girl” and reclaiming the girl self.
• 08:49–13:03 — The healing journey through isolation, codependency, and self-inquiry.
• 15:44–18:40 — How menopause rewires the brain for self-care and congruency.
• 22:51 — The origin of real confidence.
• 35:07–40:09 — Tools for metabolic health: A1C, real food, feeding the gut.
• 40:13–44:48 — Carbs, sugar, insulin resistance, novelty for dopamine.
• 60:16–66:29 — Fasting as a healing tool for the menopausal brain.
• 53:17–53:59 — The three essential friend archetypes: Butterfly, Potentialist, Anchor.
• 46:43 — The power of novelty in postmenopausal motivation.

---

Tone & Style

Casual, empathetic, empowering, and science-based. Dr. Pelz balances vulnerability with practical insight, while Tamsen maintains a warm, relatable, and thoughtful hosting presence.

---

Summary for New Listeners

If you’re confused about menopause, stuck in old routines, or just want to feel stronger and sharper as you age, this episode offers a refreshingly hopeful, practical roadmap. It argues for a reframing of menopause as a time for self-reclamation and explains, in plain language, why what worked at 35 won’t work at 50 — and what will. From small lifestyle tweaks (eating real food, cultivating new routines) to neuroscience-backed fasting, Dr. Mindy Pelz delivers both permission and an empowering prescription for thriving in midlife and beyond.

---

For more, pick up Dr. Mindy Pelz’s new book, “Age Like a Girl: How Menopause Rewires Your Brain for Mental Clarity, Increased Confidence, and Renewed Energy.”

---

Transcript

[A]

Welcome back to the Tamsen Show. I am so excited for today's conversation and guest. I had a moment that I will never forget when I was around 42 years old. I was no longer recognizing myself or my body. My hair was breaking off, I had a belly out of nowhere and my confidence was at an all time low. If you can relate in any way, I am so glad you're here. Dr. Mindy Pelz is joining me with the conversation that I personally needed over a decade ago. Because what no one told us is that when your hormones start changing, you don't just need more discipline, you need different information. You probably know Dr. Mindy Pelz from her New York Times bestseller, Fast Like a Girl. That book help millions and millions of women rethink fasting food and their bodies, including me. But here's the thing. She is back now with a new book, Age Like a How Menopause Rewires yous Brain for Mental Clarity, which we all need. Obviously increased confidence and renewed energy. If you are heading into this next year thinking, I want to stop feeling tired all the time. I want to feel strong again. I want to understand my body instead of fighting it. You are definitely going to want to hear this. Today's podcast is sponsored by Midi Health. I walked in with real symptoms, brain fog, exhaustion, anxiety and walked out with nothing but a suggestion to wait it out. That's why MIDI matters. They actually listen and they treat what others ignore. This is midlife care that finally makes sense. Ready to feel your best and write your second act script? Visit joinmitte.comtamsen today to book your personalized insurance covered virtual visit. That's joinmitti.com Tamsen Midi the care Women Deserve.

[B]

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. You chose to hit play on this podcast today. Smart choice.

[C]

Make another smart choice with Auto Quote Explorer to compare rates from multiple car insurance companies all at once. Try [e-mail], progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates.

[B]

Not available in all states or situations. Prices vary based on how you buy.

[A]

Doctor Mindy Palce, welcome to the show.

[C]

Oh, thank you, Tamsin. I'm so happy to be here. And that was quite an intro. I'm like, oh yeah, you can see the journalist coming out. That was impressive.

[A]

Well, you did all those things though. Thank you. And you really are continuing to help millions of women every single day. And now with this new book, which I'm super excited for people to get their hands on. Well, first of all, how have you been?

[C]

Let's start there.

[A]

Let's Start there.

[C]

That's a loaded question. I've been exhausted.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Okay. I've been doing a lot over the last several years. But I would say, like, from a happiness level, I'm sitting here, the happiest version of me. I have found a beautiful. Landed in a very beautiful sweet spot for myself. So I would say on this day, I'm doing really well.

[A]

I love to hear that, and I feel like that's what a lot of people want to feel.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, so Fast Like a Girl was just an incredible, incredible book that, you know, if you mention it to most women, they know exactly what that book was in a time in their lives when they needed it. Age like a girl. Why did you write it? And what did you feel like needed that. More explaining at this stage in life.

[C]

If you look back at what Fast Like a Girl did is we redefined intermittent fasting, hormone balancing, and weight loss for women. And I felt like the menopause conversation needed another voice in there talking about the upside. Like, I think it's really interesting that we have gone from a cultural hush around menopause to where we sit now, which feels like a cultural chaos where nobody knows where to who to believe. They're overwhelmed. Like, there's just so much going on in the conversation. But what we were seeing with women across all of our socials is they were starting to get overwhelmed and losing hope. And so I wanted to dive in and bring hope back to the conversation.

[A]

I'm so glad you did that. And I agree there is a lot of information. I said to somebody, is it my algorithm or is it. And I feel like everyone is seeing that right now.

[C]

Agreed.

[A]

I mean, maybe not everyone, but a lot. Right.

[C]

I did the same thing to all my friends. I'm like, is your algorithm doing this?

[A]

Is it telling you about belly fat every morning when you wake up and how to sleep? So what does it mean to age like a girl?

[C]

It's so interesting because I've been asked this question a lot as we've been promoting the book, and I obviously want to give the obvious answer, which was, it's my brand. Like a girl. We should be doing everything like a girl, including aging. But what I as I've been talking about the book a lot more and listening to people's response and having my own experience with the content in the book. I think aging like a girl means taking back back the parts of us, the childlike girl parts that we turned away from when we were told we needed to look a certain way, act A certain way, be a certain thing. We shy away from that essence, that girl, like, essence that was playful and joyful and did things just for the experience of them and traded that in for the responsible woman. And I'm hoping that what people will do with this book and this cultural conversation is we'll start to take back the parts of us. The girl parts that we really enjoyed.

[A]

Well. And I also think that gives you a different type of strength that you don't realize, you know, that you need every once in a while in life. And I agree with you. When I go do the things that I. Not that I should do, but that I want to do, I feel very different when I have to go back to the things I should do.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Which is really nice.

[C]

Yeah. Well, we were talking about work before we, like, I found life outside of work in my new location where I'm living. And. And in that, I also found my little girl and things she used to love to do. And it was. It's really. I realized that I had put all the responsibility ahead of everything else. And I really have hit a point where I'm like, nope, I come first. So even here, coming to New York to do all this media, I came in three days early so I could play my best friends here in town. I'm like, let's go have fun.

[A]

Great.

[C]

Okay. The old me wouldn't have done that. The old me would have been much more, like, I gotta do the responsible things. I need to, like, you know, conserve my energy. I'm like, let's go play. It's just made my sense.

[A]

I like the. Let's go play. Mindy, why do you think we did that for such a. Or do that for a long time? Because I agree with you. I understand it. I do feel oftentimes like if I do this, like, go and enjoy myself, I'm gonna lose something else on the other side, and I'm not gonna be as responsible or get as much done. I do think that's ingrained in us.

[C]

Yeah. By the culture.

[A]

Yeah. But totally by the culture.

[C]

So I wanna go to Carol Gilligan's work because that was profound for this book and for people who don't know. She was a feminist psychologist that, back in the 1980s, studied girls, and she noticed that if you ask a girl and a boy what they want at 9, they both will tell you the very same. They'll be very clear with their answers. By 11, the boy is still very clear with his answer, and the girl's wavering a little bit. By 13, the boy will tell you exactly what he wants, and the girl will say, I don't know, what do you want? Or what are you having? So she came out of that research in the 1980s, which I just want to say were products.

[A]

I was just going to say, I feel like we were total products of the 1980s.

[C]

So she came out of that research and she wrote a book called In a Different Voice. And her concept, which I think is so important to the menopause conversation, is that we were taught in order to be worthy, we need to be selfless. So when you are give to everyone else, you will get feedback back that you are a good, worthy human. If you look a certain way, you're a size two, if you weigh a certain amount, if you don't have any wrinkles on your face and you stay looking beautiful, then the culture will love you. And I think what's happening during menopause is all the brain rewirement, the neurochemical armor that comes down. We go, oh, my God, that was so hard. 30 years of it, or 30 years of it. But I don't know if you resonate with this. When I hit that point about a year ago, after all this book launching and book writing, I didn't know who Mindy was. I didn't know what Mindy wanted outside of work, outside of her family. Like, what did just Mindy want? I'd never given myself permission to ask that.

[A]

How did you start to unwind that from where you were? Because I could imagine a lot of women that are listening are like, okay, I'm that Mindy from before. How do you get to where you are today? Cause you consciously had to do that. It was a just sheer. I just. I give up. I have to change this.

[C]

You know, I for many years wondered what a mental breakdown would feel like. And then after the LA fires, I felt it like I was like, oh, this is it. Like, you just can't function. And. Yeah, and I was still in, like, really? I wasn't sleeping. I was full of anxiety. Like, I was still trying to find my footing after that traumatic experience. And so what I did. And if every woman can do a version of this for herself, I highly recommend it is I isolated myself.

[A]

Ooh, okay, let's talk about it.

[C]

And I think this is really important. And I just use myself as an example. I realized this year, and I think a lot of women are this. I was your classic codependent. And what I mean by that is if my husband was feeling bad or my daughter Was feeling bad or my sister was feeling bad. I would do anything to make them feel good, but not because I wanted them to feel good. I wanted them to feel good so I could feel good. I took their pain on. I totally resonate with that.

[A]

I feel it. I know exactly what you're talking about.

[C]

Yeah. And so all of a sudden, I had to stop that behavior and realize that I needed to get to know, like, who I was and what I wanted. So the isolation became a moment for me to feel my own energy. And at first, it was horrible. I'm not gonna lie.

[A]

I was gonna ask you that. Was that, like, I don't always, like, sitting with my own thoughts.

[C]

Oh, yeah, let's talk about that. Oh, yeah. It's very confronting when your brain keeps talking to you. Like, I would have nights where I would go to sleep, and I'd be like, whoever is up there, could you just shut up? Just shut up.

[A]

I know.

[C]

Like, stop talking to me. Yeah. I'm just trying to take a moment. But when I got alone, everything started to slow down, and I stopped adapting to everyone else around me. That's the key. I had to see my codependent nature. I had to see that I was absorbing everybody else's energy, and I had to start to do everything on my own. So there were little things that I did, like, what time do I want to wake up? Like, am I getting up for work? Was I getting up for a family? And I realized I like getting up before the crack of dawn. Yeah. Okay. What time do I want to go to bed? What time do I want to eat dinner? I even went because of the fires, and I had no clothes because our house didn't burn, but my clothes were in a house I couldn't get to. I didn't know if my clothes had smoke damage or what in them. I had four outfits. It was really liberating to live off of four outfits.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

And I was. So I would put my outfits on, and then I'd be like, do I like dressing like this? I mean, I did. I inquired about everything when I was alone. How do I want to feel? How do I want to be? And that isolation gave me myself back.

[A]

If somebody can't isolate or doesn't know how to do that, there are different ways you can go about doing that. Is it really being on your own or finding pockets within if you're not able to do that? If you have young children, whatever it is, and can you do it for a day, what do you think you can do?

[C]

Yeah. I've since learned that a lot of women go through this. So I just. And I think it's really. I just want to point out that I think it's really hard when you've been in a marriage for a while when you still are actively parenting. Everybody's kind of like, what's going on with you? And you don't even understand.

[A]

I don't think so.

[C]

If I look at the moments up till my breaking point, I was actually crying for a loan. I just didn't know it. So it started with. I had one chair in the house, and I called it my thinking chair. And I would get up before everybody else in the house would get up because it was the only time I could get quiet. And I would sit there for an hour before everybody woke up. And then I started telling my family, like, you can't sit in that chair.

[A]

That's my chair.

[C]

That's my chair. Did you see my books next to it? My crystals? Like that. I called it my thinking chair.

[A]

But you went there every morning.

[C]

Every morning. Wow. I started with that. Then I created a room that was just mine, and it again, had all my stuff in it, so you could do that. And then it led to actually four months at an Airbnb by myself. So there's a lot of versions of it, but I think sometimes we just have to find a way to move out of the noise.

[A]

What do you think it taught you about going back into. I don't know if you say going back into your life, but moving beyond that. I mean, you're really talking about changing the structure of scheduling, of eating, of relationship, being around things. What did it teach you at the end of that?

[C]

And the relationship was a big one. Yeah. Because I also questioned every relationship in my life. Does this work for me? Are they supporting me? Are they not? I have aging parents who needed my help. I was like, how much do I want to help? Out of. What's my duty to help? I asked, how much do I really want to help? When do I enjoy calling my mom? When do I don't enjoy it? Like, literally. The inquiry was deep, you know, to answer your question, here's what I found. And I think most women, if you're really, like, intentional about this process, is my body told me so. When I got by myself, my body finally could relax. I could sit on the couch and I could relax. I could just be. I was near the ocean, so I could sit and watch the ocean. And then when I would get around a situation that wasn't right, for me, my body would tell me, and I would feel, like, a knot in my stomach or I would feel tension in my shoulders. I think prior to that, the knot was always there. The tension was always there, that I was numbed out.

[A]

So you didn't even recognize it?

[C]

I didn't recognize it.

[A]

Wow. I get it. Our nervous systems adapt to things, and then you just are in a heightened state forever. And you probably were doing that for decades.

[C]

Right. And this doesn't have to be complicated because I'm still using this as a guide for myself. So two weeks ago, I looked at my schedule, and I could just feel that compression in my gut and my sides, and I was like, God, it's just work, work, work, work. And I'm like, I'm gonna rush from thing to thing to thing this week, and then I'm go and do this book launch in New York. And I was. Then this thought came in my head. You control your life, Mindy. What needs to go? And I literally looked at my schedule. I'm like, that appointment's gone. I'm not rushing there. That's gonna put me in traffic. That's gonna annoy me. And I just started to, like, cancel all these appointments. The old me would have been like, what does that person think?

[A]

Oh, they're gonna get mad at me.

[C]

They're gonna get mad at me. But I promise, after this experiment of isolating myself, I will never betray myself again. And when moments and I feel it, I'm like, oh, oh, oh, you're betraying yourself. You're going back to a pace of life you no longer wish to do. Don't do it.

[A]

Mindy, what do you recommend for people and explain how menopause is rewiring our brains? Because I think that's something that we haven't heard a lot about in this conversation. We've talked a lot about how your brains do change from a scientific place. But when we're talking day to day, how does menopause rewire?

[C]

I think that's the biggest message I wanna bring forward in this book, is that your brain is now setting you up to take care of you.

[A]

Okay. Yep.

[C]

Like, think that brain.

[A]

Once you've gone through menopause.

[C]

Yeah. Like, you're actually getting a brain that is now ready for you to put your needs first. So when we look at it through that lens, what's happening? And here's the best way I can explain it. And Lisa Moscone brought us this work.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

So we know that the female brain, once estrogen comes in it stimulates a part of the brain called the corpus callosis. The corpus callosum in the female brain is bigger than in the male brain and estrogen ignites it. And that is the highway between your right hemisphere and your left hemisphere. The right hemisphere says, I want to be in relationship with you, I want to create with you. It's that creative emotional side. The left side is like, I'm going to set a goal and I'm going to go after that goal and achieve it.

[A]

It's the logical side, business logic.

[C]

So when estrogen came in at puberty, what happened is we started operating from both sides of our brain. So every single thing that we did in our life was through the lens of I want to kick butt and hit this goal, but I want to make sure I don't step on your shoes doing it. I want to make sure that I'm in relationship as I do this. We brought relationship and caring for relationships because we're nurturers to every decision that.

[A]

We made, regardless of if it's business or if it's personal. Is that why the 13 year old girl says, what do you want? Yes. When that happens at 13, because they're.

[C]

Puberty, she's now in her relational brain. So she actually before that corpus callosum got stimulated. She's like, I'm just gonna tell you what I want. She went straight to her left side of her brain. She's like, I want this. And then estrogen came in and all of a sudden now she's like, well, I don't want to be out of a relationship with you, so maybe one of my wants is gonna put me in friction with you.

[A]

Yep. Okay, so that's puberty and 30 more.

[C]

Years and 30 years of that. And so what Lisa taught us was this pruning of the brain, the changing of the brain. But what we need to take what she started in that beautiful research and bring it to a new level of functionality, which is now estrogen goes away and that highway is not as prolific for you. So I can sit here and you and I could do business goals and I would tell you exactly what I want in business without thinking about your feelings. Or you and I could go into, you know, a conversation like this is probably we're both more in our right hemisphere going heart to heart, but we don't cross reference. We go to a lateralized brain. So all of a sudden we're not taking everybody else's feelings into account.

[A]

For somebody that's like, okay, I'm in this St. I understand it, I'm feeling it. How do I get to that next feeling with that confidence? Because you're saying that menopause, that's the rewiring of the brain. Right. What does it do for our energy? What does it do for our confidence levels? Because I do talk to so many women, as you see, on social all the time, and they feel that lack of confidence and lack of purpose because so many other things have changed at the same time.

[C]

Yeah. This is why I call it the brain remodel project. We have to see that it's a limited period of time. So I just. And I get like 10 years is a lot to be in that.

[A]

No, but I get it.

[C]

But if we understand that there is an and you're going to a place that's really amazing, I think that's really important. Okay, second thing.

[A]

So that chunk is perimenopause to menopause about. Right. So what are we saying in your.

[C]

50S, 40s, 40s, 50s, early 50s? The average age of menopause is still 52.

[A]

Yes. All right, so beyond that now, beyond.

[C]

That, look at some of the people who are paving the way. Michelle Obama, I know I freaked out last summer when I saw her say, can't I just do things for myself now? And I was like, yes, there it is. Jane Fonda is like, I, you know, the most prolific time of her career was postmenopausal. I think we have to think about like some examples. That's always important. Okay, energy. Let's talk about energy. So in all the research that I did, when I went back and looked at the evolutionary explanation for menopause, which you can call it the grandmother hypothesis. I know there's been critics of yes and no on both of that, but the hunter and gatherers, what they acknowledged was that when a woman stops cycling that energy, this one just blows my mind. The energy it took to release an egg every single month is a tremendous amount of body energy, I would imagine.

[A]

Right. But I didn't know that.

[C]

I didn't know that. It wasn't like we were in like a board meeting. Like, hold on, I got an egg releasing right now. It's just, I just. Woo. Might need another cup of coffee. Like nobody did that. Right?

[A]

Like nobody. I know.

[C]

Right, Exactly.

[A]

No, we were taught to hide all.

[C]

That, you know, all that energy it took for the reproductive system comes back to you. That's one of the most pivotal parts of the grandmother hypothesis is that energy gets restored back to you. And when you look at what those postmenopausal women did in that day. And we have a current example of this in the Hadza tribe, which is one of the blue zones, by the way, that we hold up as, hey, look at these. This tribe has got aging knocked out of the park. Well, guess what? The post menopausal women, when they were done cycling, they go on a seven hour trek every single day to go forage for food every day and bring that food back to the clan so the clan can stay alive while the men were off making a big animal kill, which they only came back with an animal kill 3% of the time. So there's a tremendous amount of energy that comes back to you. We're not talking about that.

[A]

We're not talking about any of that. We're talking about that. We, you know, we're very tired, we're having hot flashes, we can't remember anything. But I think this is so exciting for younger women to hear too, but especially for women in this period, because I'm seeing a big trend of a lot of people saying, okay, I hear the menopause stuff. What about post menopause? What happens next? And this is the next.

[C]

So then that ties into the confidence piece because I really wanna reframe confidence.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So as you.

[A]

It needs it.

[C]

Yeah. Like, as you go through this experience, what you're being offered is the opportunity neurologically, neurochemically in your body to start to be congruent with your authentic self, to finally speak your truth. Which is why you have so many. You know, you look at the we do not care club. What did she do? She was like, enough. Yeah. And she stood up and spoke her truth. But. And then woman after woman after woman did the same.

[A]

Permission.

[C]

Permission. Confidence comes with congruency. When you.

[A]

Oh, wait, say that again.

[C]

Confidence comes with congruency.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

It doesn't come from experience. It can.

[A]

Yeah, but you're right.

[C]

But the biggest moments of confidence that you will discover in yourself is when you are congruent with who you were designed to. To be. You asked me how I feel about this book and I was telling you that every other book, when it comes out, today's pub day. I'm usually nauseated.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I am not nauseated today. And let me tell you why. Because I said what I wanted to say authentically in this book. And so I have confidence.

[A]

How freeing is that?

[C]

So freeing.

[A]

I feel like people are gonna just pick up on your energy because I can feel it in your voice. I can. I felt it when you walked into the studio. I felt it when you walked in here.

[C]

Yeah, well, I want to free women. Like, we've got to start living life on our terms, not the expectations of the culture. We got to get to know ourselves. We need to love our body. We need to love our wrinkles, if that's what you choose to love. I look at my gray hairs and I'm like, oh, there's another wisdom strand. Look at that.

[A]

I gotta get to that place because.

[C]

I got a lot of wisdom. Yeah. So I think we need to start looking at. At. At confidence. As every time you're feeling a lack of confidence, ask yourself where you're out of congruency with yourself.

[A]

Okay, Tam fam, you know that sleep is my number one priority. I mean, it. It is a thing I focus on all the time. And trust me, when my sleep is off, everybody feels it. Everybody in my life. So I have to share what I've been using because it's made such a difference for me. It's called the 88 Sleep Pod 5. It's a smart mattress cover that goes right on top of your existing bed. It's designed to help you sleep deeper and wake up feeling more restored. And what I noticed first was how it regulates my temperature all through the night. I like it cool, Aira likes it warm. And somehow we both get exactly what we want. The pod learns your sleep patterns and adjusts automatically so you're not waking up to throw the blanket. Gets on and off your leg, back and forth. You know what I'm talking about. If you know, you know. Then there's the data. When I wake up, I can see how I slept. Sleep, stages, heart rate, breathing, all of it. This holiday season, eight Sleep is extending their biggest sale of the year. Use my code [e-mail] Tamsen for up to $400 off the Pod 5. You even get 30 days to try it risk free. Plus, eight sleep products are now FSA and HSA eligible. Financing options such as a firm are now available.

[B]

It's that time of year again when you start arranging pumpkins on the stoop. Try out a new cranberry sauce recipe and plan out a tablescape that'll outdo last year's. In other words, it's when you break out all your DIY holiday skills. And now ADT is making it easy to DIY your home security too. Their systems aren't just simple to set up, they also fit within your budget. So get excited for your next project because your peace of mind just went DIY. Visit ADT.com or call 1-800-ADT ASAP. When every second counts, count on ADT.

[A]

What do you do to get back in to where you're feeling good? Because I know that for me, and I mentioned at the beginning, but it was my early 40s, I'd gone through a divorce. But I know it wasn't really the divorce that hit my calm, it was everything else. I was just feeling. I was out of sorts. And I think it's important for women if they are feeling like that, whether it's their bodies, whether it's just not even understanding where they are right now, whether they're not paying attention to themselves anymore. How do you get that back? When we have those ebbs and flows throughout the day?

[C]

Yeah. So the first thing is this self inquiry. I just want to say, if you keep asking yourself, what do I want? And if we're really honest with ourselves, I hadn't really asked myself that very much. I would get up in the morning, I was like, what do I have to do for my practice, what I need to do for my kids, what do I need to do for everybody else? So just start by getting to know yourself. Because I gotta say, the first time I did this, I actually was in therapy and my therapist said to me, mindy, what do you want? You have time. Yeah. You have money, your kids are grown. What do you want? And like, nothing came to me.

[A]

That's how I feel when you say that over and over again with sitting here with you right now, I'm like, oh, my gosh, I hope she doesn't ask me that question. I really hope not.

[C]

Well, we'll do that at another time. Let's do that at another.

[A]

Let's do that.

[C]

Drinking tea.

[A]

But did you have an answer finally for that?

[C]

Nothing came in the beginning. This is what I want to say as I looked at her. And the first thing I said was, was nobody's ever asked me that. I wasn't even asked that as a child. The environment I grew up in, my sister created a lot of chaos in the household. And so I was told, shut up, sit down. You don't get a voice in this chaotic house already.

[A]

And you kept that.

[C]

And I kept that. So it was blank for about a month. And this is where I started really looking at, like, silly things. This sounds. But it's easy, everyone.

[A]

I don't think it sounds silly. I think it sounds necessary.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. So, like, work. I was like, what parts of work do I like? And what parts of work am I doing for Money. What parts of work am I doing for affirmation? What parts of work are draining me? So I took all of my work and I started to break it down my daily schedule. So I've learned I don't love rushing out the door in the morning.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

I did it for so many years.

[A]

Did you know you didn't love that?

[C]

No.

[A]

No.

[C]

Didn't know it. I like getting up in the morning. I like reading. I like having my cup of coffee. I love listening to great music. And I have a whole set of girlfriends that we talk in the morning every morning. We send messages back and forth. And here's what I'm going through. I love that. So that just came through, like, self inquiry. I even looked because I only had four outfits. When I went to go get more clothes and bring them back into my life, I was, how do I want to dress? Why do I dress the way I dress? And then I started to see, like, oh, my God. My mom told me I needed to look like this and that I literally broke down my whole dress attire. I'm going to tell you something I did the other day that was so liberating. And if a woman hasn't ever done this, I highly recommend it. I live in Santa Cruz now, which is a very natural. Nobody cares what they look like. And I was getting ready to go to the chiropractor, actually to go and get adjusted. And I was running late and I couldn't find my breakfast. And I was like, why do I wear a bra? Like, do I care? It's not like my breasts hurt when I don't wear a bra. I was like, I don't even like wearing a bra. Why am I wearing a bra? And so I'm like, I'm not wearing a bra. So off I went, and I was like, oh, my God. Then I went into, are they gonna notice I don't have a bra on? Why do I care if they notice? Was a whole moment I felt so liberated. Like I walked in, I was like, I don't have a bra on everyone.

[A]

I'm not wearing a bra.

[C]

I'll just let you in on a secret. I flew here on a red eye on Thursday night, and I'm like, I'm not putting a bra on.

[A]

I love that, though.

[C]

I love that.

[A]

I feel like women are gonna be like, mindy said I didn't have to wear a bra.

[C]

Yeah. And then I was like, oh, my God, what? Then I went to, what if? Why do I wear a bra? Well, I don't want to See, I don't want people to see my nipples. Yeah, because you have nipples. And God forbid they would go, you're a woman with her nipples that are showing through her shirt. Like, this is crazy.

[A]

Isn't it unbelievable when you twist back to how things started? I mean, I will tell you in full disclosure, I wear those nipple covers all the time. They're in my purses. They're every. They're all over my house. They're stuck in my luggage. And that's what I wear. I don't even wear the bra most of the time.

[C]

You don't even wear the bra.

[A]

I mean, yeah, I have one on today, but most of the time I don't. When I'm like, on my playtime or on. I love that. So I love that you twisted it. Went all the way back, like, and kept digging.

[C]

I did a keynote last week and I had a shirt like this on. I put my shirt on. I'm like, there are those nipples again. I had a bra. I was like, fricking it. And then I'm like, do I care if 1,000 people I'm speaking to see my nipples? I'm like, I don't care.

[A]

That's where we have to get to. That's where we have to get to. So do you think when that happens at this age, do you think that that's what builds somebody into having more energy, having more confidence because the brain is being rewired?

[C]

Yeah, that's the. We're back at the congruency. We're back. The amount of energy it takes to worry about everybody else and what they think of you, like, that's a tremendous amount of energy.

[A]

You talk about the butterfly. Can we talk a little bit about that?

[C]

Yes. Let's go.

[A]

I love that. I opened it up. I got your book and I opened it up and the sticker was there. And I went, oh, I just love this. Butterflies always remind me of my mom. And so it was like, extra special. But can you talk about the butterfly then?

[C]

Yeah. So in this four month period, I fell in love with a mythologist. His name is Michael Mead.

[A]

Have you heard of his name? No, I don't know who that is.

[C]

Oh, he's great. He teaches life lessons through mythology. And so he. He was sharing this episode about what truly happens to the caterpillar as it becomes a butterfly. Now check this out. When I explain this, you're gonna hear it. You're gonna hear menopause all over it. So the caterpillar is born with a set of cells Called imaginal cells.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

And these imaginal cells are the essence of who the caterpillar is supposed to be and will one day be. The cells that turns it into a butterfly. Okay.

[A]

I hear menopause all over it.

[C]

Yep. The caterpillar goes through life and it consumes grass. We go through life, we consume life. And one day it's like, I'm tired of this. Sound familiar?

[A]

Yeah, of course.

[C]

And then it literally gets a drop in hormones. I am not joking. The caterpillar has my mouth. Yeah.

[A]

Were you blown away by that?

[C]

I had to go look at that picture. I was right. I was like, what? It lost hormones?

[A]

That's crazy.

[C]

And that drop in hormones combined with the exhaustion of consuming grass signals to it to wrap itself up in a chrysalis and dissolve the parts of it it no longer desires so it can become a butterfly. So it goes into the chrysalis, creates this chrysalis, and then you know what it does? It resists its own transformation. And the resistance is important so that it can amp up the caterpillar's immune system to destroy itself. It's an autoimmune response in the caterpill.

[A]

Oh, my gosh.

[C]

When we look at menopause, we have this moment where we're like, I need to do something different. But it's natural to resist it. It's important to resist it because in that, if you go into the self inquiry and you go and go, okay, what needs to dissolve right now? Then you're left with a dark, gooey place, which is the 10 years we're in that middle part of our menopause goo. But then the imaginal center of what you were supposed to be can emerge. If you're willing to go in and dissolve what no longer works for you. And then the caterpillar comes out. A butterfly.

[A]

And I have a butterfly sitting here in front of me.

[C]

That's right. Well, you'll notice I. Now I know. Well, so I did something. I got so into the story that one day we were out at the garden store, and I found a hat with a butterfly on it. And I turned, I put it on, and I turned to my husband, and I'm like. Like, I'm gonna start wearing this so that you know what version of me you're looking at.

[A]

Oh, that's good. Does he know now?

[C]

Yeah, he knows.

[A]

I saw him out there. I know he learned. You know, you talk about health all the time and how it matters, and in this time of menopause, because if somebody has Gone through menopause, there's still a lot of things they have to do to take control of their body and their health. And what else happens? What are you finding that's in line with this? I know that, you know, a lot of the book talks about, you know, memory and mind and body. What do you suggest for people that kind of feel, you know, there's this whole gener generation of women that feel like they were skipped over, hormones were not part of the solution for them, and now they're post menopause and they're wanting to feel like a butterfly and maybe they don't every day.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. I think the most important thing that we look at through this whole process that is not getting enough attention is our metabolic health. If you go into this experience with your metabolic health off, meaning you have a high hemoglobin A1C, like maybe it's up in the sixes or you're pre diabetic or you have diabetes. What we know is that if insulin is out of balance, then sex hormones will go completely whacked. And then you start gaining weight because you were already metabolically off, estrogen declined, you became more insulin resistant, and now you're gaining weight just looking at food.

[A]

And people that have had no problem before are saying they have thyroid cholesterol. I was told I was pre diabetic. I, I was shocked by it all. What do you start doing there to pay attention to that, get control of that? What kind of test? What do you recommend? The first thing is if there's somebody listening saying, yeah, that's me. I woke up one morning and I feel like I have a tire around my belly.

[C]

Well, first get to know that one blood marker. Most everybody gets it tested every year. So let's try to get your hemoglobin A1C close.

[A]

A1C.

[C]

Yeah. A1C close to 5. That's a really strong stable spot. 52 is even good, but anything over 55 starts to put us in a little of a danger zone. Second thing, let's just eat real food. So what is real food? Real food is a food that doesn't have a label on it. It came from the earth and it didn't have to be packaged up and reformatted in order to make it palatable for your taste buds. So you might have gotten away with the ultra processed foods at 35. You are not getting away with it at 45. So start to clean up your diet. And I'm not talking deprivation in the book. I have something that I Call the primal menopausal diet, which is just simple food, like things like grass fed meats, if you eat meat, wild meats, if you don't eat meat. Let's double down on legumes. But then stop eating the same black beans. You gotta look at lentils and you gotta look at white beans. And all of those are bringing different nutrients. Fiber. You know, I don't have a meal without some kind of vegetable. We have a whole set of bacteria in our gut called the estrobolome that breaks down estrogen. And you feed these bacteria by giving them fiber.

[A]

Wait, explain that.

[C]

So fiber, like vegetables and fruit, they feed the bacteria in our guts. A very specific set of bacteria called the astrobolome, the estrobalome. These bacteria break estrogen down and make it so that estrogen is usable for our cells. So if we have been on bir birth control for decades, that has destroyed our microbiome. If we've been on one round of antibiotics, destroys your microbiome, it kills all those bacteria.

[A]

What do you do when that has happened? Because most of us have been on antibiotics, most of us have eaten too much sugar, most of us have done so many of these things. What do you start doing to course correct that? Because I always worry that people think it's too late.

[C]

It's been years.

[A]

And I think your message is just, it's not too late.

[C]

Three days. Three days. You can change your whole bacterial profile. So there was a National Geographic reporter, you'll like this. And they measured his microbial profile and he lived in London. They then sent him to Africa to go live with a tribe that was like lived in tents. They ate porcupine. They had a completely different environment and diet than he. And so he lived there for three days. He did exactly what they did. He ate exactly what they ate. And then they sent him back to London and they remeasured his microbiome. He had a whole different set of bacteria in three days from a different environment.

[A]

Okay, what do we do?

[C]

Yeah. So first is diversity of food. How many of us eat the same food over and over again? So when I go to a restaurant, I look at a menu, I don't ask what I'm in the mood for, I ask what haven't I eat. So I look for food that I don't normally eat at home. Vegetables. Vegetables are amazing for the microbiome. Fiber is amazing. Stop eating like, I love red peppers and I'll eat red peppers over and over and over again. I'm like, okay, no, I Need to start to look at other types of carrots and celery and things that I can make sure that I'm getting good. Diversity, lettuce. I don't ever buy the same type of lettuce. I get all different.

[A]

I always do the same thing over and over again.

[C]

Right.

[A]

That's just habit.

[C]

Right, Right. So it's called a monoculture, and you start to feed the same bacteria, they get stronger and stronger, and then they bully the other bacteria in our gut. Diversity is key. So start looking at what you're eating from a wider lens. This is not deprivation. This is fun.

[A]

No, I know. And what we learned deprivation all the time. We learned calorie counting. Calorie counting. We learned no fat. We didn't learn. I mean, five.

[C]

Fiber.

[A]

I never even talked about fiber. You know, so protein. Fiber, super duper important.

[C]

Protein and fiber, incredibly important. And then let's talk about carbs, because, please. My favorite thing is when people think that I'm anti carbs. I'm like, I'm not anti carbs. I think for cycling women, you need to be strategic about the point of your cycle that you eat carbs for. Postmenopausal women need carbs. But what type of carb? So just, like, the fat conversation went from, oh, there's good fat and there's bad fat. Let's just say there's good carbs and there's bad carbs. And anything that comes from nature, like fruits and vegetable, is a good carb. And anything that came from a lab or from a warehouse, that's a bad carb.

[A]

If we think of it from a lab, it makes it so much less appealing. Right.

[C]

It's kind of what they do.

[A]

I know, I know.

[C]

So even, like, fermented bread, I've gotten. There's some. A lot of people are doing, like. Like, big thing in my world right now is everybody's talking about their sourdough bread and the mother and where they got the mother from for the sour. I'm like, wait, I need to be in on this. I have a fermented bread sourdough placed right at the bottom of my hill.

[A]

Oh, but you don't need to make bread.

[C]

But it's so funny, because everybody thought that I was anti carb for so long, and I swear I need to get that bread out and just go on to swim.

[A]

Well, we'll just do a video.

[C]

There we go. Like, look, y', all, I need bread.

[A]

Mandy eats bread.

[C]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

Okay, so let's talk about sugar, because I do Think that, you know, we're all aware sugar causes inflammat else does it do for women that are post menopause?

[C]

Well, so remember, you're more insulin resistant now than you've ever been.

[A]

And what does that mean?

[C]

So insulin is the hormone that stores sugar. Let's just make it easy. So when you eat something high in sugar, insulin pops in and says, okay, I'm gonna grab this sugar molecule, which is called glucose, and I'm gonna escort it into the cell so your cell can use it for energy. But estrogen was a part of helping the cell use it for energy. Estrogen went away, you're eating a lot of sugar. And now the pancreas is putting out insulin and putting out insulin. And then all of a sudden the cell's like, I can't take anymore. I don't know what to do with this. And so what your body does is it stores that sugar as fat.

[A]

What do you do?

[C]

Right. Well, and then let me just say what we do right now is we look at the menopausal belly weight and we look in the mirror and we're like, it must be undisciplined. And we start ridiculing ourself. But really your body doesn't know what to do with sugar anymore. So ideally you want to get off sugar, but I understand that's easier said than done.

[A]

So hard.

[C]

So how about we go to more of nature's sugar? So how about you go to fruits? How about you get chocolate? Why don't you get a high quality chocolate? We started doing in my family years ago and it's a great swap. Coconut sugar.

[A]

Oh, good.

[C]

It's not stevia. It's not one of those funky sugars. I just swapped out coconut sugar in my house. Nobody knew. I just started making everything with coconut sugar. And so you can. There are other sugars that are lower on produce less glucose in your system. So you really gotta monitor that because otherwise that's contributing to the storage of fat.

[A]

I agree with you. A lot of women feel like, oh, I'm not doing enough or I've gotta get to the gym more or I've gotta, you know, I'm not restricting my calories enough and not realizing just how bad sugar really, really is.

[C]

The other thing I want to say about getting off sugar is if you went cold turkey, it would be pretty brutal for about three days.

[A]

What happens?

[C]

You would crave the heck out of it. You might be a little tired, you might get a headache, but the cravings would tell you like more and more and more because it's an addiction, it gives you dopamine. So a couple of things you can do in that three well, dopamine loves novelty. So how about you do some things in your life to bring dopamine in other places, like go do some new activities, hang out with some new people. I'm getting a lot of dopamine, living in a new town. Like, go and find new environments that you can put yourself, change your workout up. Maybe you don't go to the gym, maybe go outside, maybe you don't lift weights, maybe you do a weighted vest. Like change everything up while you're going through this three day experience. So that would be like, there's a lot in the book I put about dopamine. Then after the three days are over, then stay off the sugar that you are addicted to as long as you can, and you'll start to change. You'll start to starve out. Really, the microbes that made you addicted to sugar, they start to go away. They're not being fed, so they go away. Your patterns change and all of a sudden you will start to crave. You won't crave.

[A]

Well, let's talk about dopamine because you do talk about it in the book. And I think it's important for people to understand where it comes from, how you get it and what you can do. Like little easy fixes.

[C]

I think that was the most intriguing thing that I found in my research is I started to see in my practice all these women that were super fit, go, I just don't want to work out anymore. And that's when I realized estrogen's connection to dopamine. And so it's natural. This is the first thing I want women to know is it's really common to feel loss of motivation as you go through this experience because of the lack of estrogen, because estrogen went down and dopamine went with her. And so dopamine is the motivation molecule. It is the molecule of more. It's not the molecule of enough. We can talk about that in a moment. But it definitely is the thing like, you know, go, go get it. That's kind of what dopamine says. So estrogen goes away, dopamine goes away, and all of a sudden your motivation goes away. So even your motivation to go to the gym, your motivation to lose weight, your motivation to care really starts to dramatically go. But dopamine has some very simple principles. First, we already talked about novelty. Novelty could be as simple. I don't Know if you've tried this, change the furniture around in your house.

[A]

Really?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Because you're looking for something different.

[C]

Yeah. Have you ever done that where you just go into your living room and rearrange the whole. All the furniture?

[A]

I have to tell you a confession. I did this in my office and it's a room that like Ira likes to watch TV in. And I was using as my office and I took the couch, it was the middle of the night. Cause I couldn't sleep. And I was pushing it with my legs because the couch is so heavy on the other side. And I love this room now. But I didn't know it was dopamine. I just thought like, I don't know what I thought. I just thought I did something cool. Yeah, I like that you got a.

[C]

Big dose of dopamine.

[A]

Good to be doing that more.

[C]

Everybody can do that.

[A]

Change your routine up, change your furniture up.

[C]

So change your routine up. If you drive the same way all the time, do a different. Drive a different way. Like seek novelty. That would be the first.

[A]

You're saying that in diet and in all parts of life. Yep.

[C]

Stop eating the same food, stop going to the same supermarket. Like just change it up. And you will find a vibrancy. Come back to your life, I promise you. And it's free.

[A]

And I mean you did it. Not intending to have to do that. But, but where I see, you know, where you were on one side of this to where you are right now must feel very, very different. Yeah.

[C]

That's why I say when you ask me how am I doing, I was.

[A]

Like, I know today. I feel it.

[C]

I'm really proud of myself.

[A]

I'm really proud of you too. I'm really proud of you too.

[C]

One of the greatest things that was said to me this year was by my 86 year old mom. And she watched me do this process of self inquiry and, and, and isolation. And she said, I am so proud of you for taking yourself on.

[A]

Wow. That's an incredible.

[C]

I know. That's an incredible sentence.

[A]

You're never going to forget that.

[C]

I'm taking myself on and I still like challenge my beliefs all the time. Do I really believe that? Can I think differently on that? So it's fun when you get curious. Dopamine loves curiosity. So how could this room look different? How could my routine be different? You will start to see that you bring dopamine back. Second thing, and this one's really important because I think it doesn't get enough credit, which is find a purpose. Let Me speak for my good friends who are recently divorced, were amazing super mamas and are trying to find their purpose in life. Right? The last thing they want to hear from me is find your purpose. But purpose can be something as simple as every time you go out of your house to a store, you're going to smile and talk to the people that are helping you in customer service. That's a purpose. My husband has a purpose of every time we get in an Uber car, he wants to get to know the Uber driver.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[C]

Drives me crazy. I'm like, literally, I'm like, okay, I'm going to be on my phone. So thank you for talking to the Uber driver. But he's like, he's. He's serv. He's giving us a service. We should get to know him so he has meaning when he gets in an Uber.

[A]

That's amazing, though. That really is. And you know, you it. He's probably like, excited when he gets out of the car because he's got, like a different kind of story that he's heard.

[C]

And it's such a fun game that I now I actually, the last time I took an Uber by myself, I found myself doing it and I was like, hi, I don't talk to the Uber driver. What am I doing? And then I came home and I was excited, excited to tell them, hey, I talked to this Uber driver.

[A]

Let me tell you what I learned. That is hilarious. But I love that.

[C]

I love that. And maybe, you know, a purpose we need now in our world. How about in go and go to social media and instead of finding all the people you hate and letting them know on a comment, how about you decide you're going to cheer everybody on who's putting out content that you like? You're going to make a comment and be like, I love your comment, your content. I did this morning with a comedian.

[A]

Oh, nice.

[C]

I can't remember her name, but she's got the red curly hair.

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

Oh, she's got a Netflix series out.

[A]

But I'm sure she's gonna be coming back to you and calling.

[C]

I know. I can't remember her name. But anyways, this morning I realized she was bringing me so much joy. And it was coming through my Instagram newsfeed. I was like, I need to stop and let her know that her little vignettes she does in her three minute reels brings me so much joy. Joy. So I stopped, I took a moment and told her, hey, thank you. You have really brightened up my Day. So purpose doesn't have to be like, oh, my God, I know how I'm going to save the world. Oh, her name is Michelle Wolf.

[A]

Well, that's what I think happens. I think we're like, what's my new career? What's my new nonprofit? What's my new whatever I'm doing? And we make it so big that we're paralyzed by it.

[C]

That's right. Yeah.

[A]

So it can be that simple.

[C]

It can be that simple.

[A]

You also talk about friends and support and people. And you mentioned your friends that you talk to every morning. Can we talk about how important community is? Because I do hear a lot of people say, like, gosh, I'm having a hard time, like, finding new friends or staying in touch with friends, and everything's really different. Could you give some advice on that? Because I do agree with you that I feel different. And I've been trying to make a concerted effort, especially over the holidays. Like, who haven't I talked to in a long time? So I, you know, who haven't I seen? If it's for a coffee, it's for a tea, it's for a dinner. How do you do that, though, on a consistent basis? Not just because the holidays rolled around and I felt nostalgic.

[C]

And you're. You're an amazing connector.

[A]

Oh, you're kind of.

[C]

I don't know if you've taken that on as your thing, but I just want to say that, you know, you really. I watch you and I'm like, yeah.

[A]

She's like, let me.

[C]

Really brings people together, which is really beautiful. So I think as women, sometimes we make horrible choices. And friends. I'm just going to say it like, I want to call. I really do. Well, like, I want to call it out. We have situations like, oh, our kids went to school together. Oh, we work together, but we don't make intentional friendships. You can have a friendship that's built around cutting your husband down and talking about how bad your marriage is or complaining. A lot of women like to get together, and we bitch together. And I think that as you go through this experience, that's the friend you need to let go of.

[A]

Do you feel it pretty much right away? Do you know it after you've gone through this experience?

[C]

I can't actually. If I get in a conversation where somebody's complaining over and over again, I'll stop the conversation and I'll tell the person like, this is the new. I don't care. I will tell the person like, I'm not. Unless you want me to help come up with a solution for you? I'm not the person that's gonna sit and listen to you complain and argue for your limiting beliefs over and over again. But I would love to share with you. Like, I'd love to help you, but I can't keep. I had a friend who. She got divorced, and she. Every time I got. Years later, just. Finally. Just over and over all the things that her husband was doing wrong. And finally I looked at her, and I was like, I can't hear it anymore. Good feeling.

[A]

How good did that feel, though?

[C]

It was liberating.

[A]

I was like, you.

[C]

You left him two years ago, and he's still with you energetically.

[A]

Do you think people respect that and feel like it helps change that? Some. I guess it helps change. Right? Others might not.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But not be able to hear it.

[C]

I'm not looking for respect.

[A]

He's like, oh, you got confused. I don't care what they think.

[C]

Right. Like, I'm looking to respect myself. And I couldn't sit and listen to the complaints, complaining all the time. So we gotta know how to step away from relationships that aren't serving us. And one of the biggest ways you know is how do you feel when you leave that interaction? Do you feel better or do you feel worse? So I think that's the first thing to ask yourself. But then you need to seek relationships that fill you up. And in the book, I talk about three that I absolutely love. One is the butterflies. Where are the women ahead of you that have been through this process?

[A]

Us.

[C]

How do we go and seek? Like, a lot of my friends are 10 years older than me. So many women who are butterflies helped me through this moment. They would tell me, like, a good one of my butterflies was the one that said, mindy, I want you to take this with love. Because I was there at one point in my life. You're the classic codependent.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

And I was like, okay, tell me more. And she's like. I was. This is what it looked like. This is what it felt like. And I was like, oh, my gosh, that's me. And this is how I undid my codependent ways.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

And she taught me how to start to unwind. Codependency.

[A]

It's hard to see.

[C]

It's hard to see.

[A]

Hard to see. I remember the book forever ago. Codependent. No, more like, that was. But that was really based on something else. I mean, this is. This is kind of like everyday life. Codependency.

[C]

Yeah. And I'm going to be fully transparent. I thought codependency was for wimps.

[A]

Yeah. I was like, you can't stop that.

[C]

Yeah. Like, oh, you're so weak. You have to.

[A]

You don't have confidence.

[C]

Yeah. No. And I've since learned that a lot of high performing women are huge codependents. So that's. The butterfly has been where you have been. Will put a mirror up and say, look at what you're doing. Let me show you how to unwind that. So I think that one's really important. Another one that I love is the potential. And one of my closest friends is this. And through this whole like the LA thing, I went through a lot of anger. I did not want to leave the Palisades. I was really happy there. And I just got vindictive at times. And she would remind me, I know that you want to be a compassionate, caring human and you don't want to go into that resentful, angry place like, let me help you start to, to see what the person is that I know you are and the person you wanna be.

[A]

Wow. That's like I can see her handing. Putting her hand out too, right?

[C]

Yep.

[A]

And pulling it.

[C]

Yeah. Potentialist. Yeah. We all need a potentialist that is like, look at you. There's a higher version of you here. And I know you can access her. So really powerful. And then the third one that really was great was the anchor. And the anchor has been one that was like, I have a couple of friends that are anchors and they, and they are so amazing because they're like, okay. They just pull up a chair and they're like, tell me everything, girl. Give it. I'm just here. You just let it all out. I have many anchors around this book because there were times I'm like, I'm not doing this anymore. I'm not writing this book anymore. My agent is one of those anchors. I'm like, I am not doing this anymore. I would throw two year old tantrums like, no. And the best thing you could say to me when I'm in one of those moments is just talk to me, tell me what you're doing, tell me what's on your mind. And the anchors allow you to just vent without fixing it. And I think that's really important.

[A]

Okay. As we get closer to the new year, I have been thinking a lot about the habits I want to carry with me into the next chapter of my life, not just the next month. And the one thing I've learned is that the best habits are the ones that are so simple you stick with them. It's why AG1 has become part of my morning routine. It's the daily health drink that combines your multivitamin, pre and probiotics, superfoods and antioxidants into one scoop. I drink it first thing in the morning. It's quick, it tastes clean, and it takes all the guesswork out of feeling like I'm doing something, something good for my body every single day. And truthfully, I started because I just wanted that one habit that I could rely on, especially on the days when things get chaotic. If you have been thinking about your own routines into the new year, this is one habit you can start before January even arrives. I mean, you can have your AG1 drink while you're listening to the Tamson show. It's a tiny shift that makes you feel like you're taking control. I use it and you should should too. AG1 has their best offer ever. If you head to drinkag1.comtamsen you'll get the welcome kit, a morning person hat, a bottle of vitamin D3 plus K2, an AG1 flavor sampler, and you'll get to try their new sleep supplement AGZ for free, which has been a game changer for my nightly routine. That's drinkag1.com Tamsen for $126 in free gifts for new subscribers. This show is sponsored by MIDI Health. I have been there sitting in a doctor's office trying to explain what's going on with my body, only to be told it's stress and that it's just part of getting older. I was told that the brain fog, the night sweats, the sudden weight gain, all brush off like it wasn't even worth looking into. Well, MIDI is changing that experience. They're a virtual clinic built specifically for women in perimenopause and menopause and they actually listen to you. Their expert clinicians meet with you one on one. They ask real questions and they create a personalized plan for your symptoms, your hormones and your health. They're also the only telehealth care provider in this space covered by major insurance. If you felt dismissed or invisible in the health care system, MITI was built for you. Because this chapter of life deserves more than a shrug. It deserves real support. Ready to feel your best and write your second act script? Visit joinmitty.comtamsen today to book your personalized insurance covered virtual visit. That's joinmitty.com Tamsin Midi the Care Women deserve. The community support. I don't know about you. But when I was going through working all the time, I'm like, yeah, I have friends. I have some friends that I haven't talked to in a long time, but I could pick up the phone. But then I didn't have a lot of people that, like, really understood the place in my life.

[C]

That's it.

[A]

Right. And now I feel like I do, and I see them and I feel them, and I feel, like, motivated when I walk away from them for not motivated, like, work motivated, like, in my relationship or to go work out or just feel a little happier. And it feels very different than it did when I was younger. And I don't know if I'm more aware of it or if it's just age and that's what we need.

[C]

Yeah. The first thing I thought of when you were like, I have a set of friends that I need to connect with. I wanted to say, do you want to connect with them?

[A]

I know, I know, right? Well, some I did and some I didn't. So it's only been a few of those.

[C]

That's right. Like, are they out of duty? You feel like you have to connect with them.

[A]

No. You know what I feel like? I feel like I was working so hard this year that I put everything on hold. And then I was this weekend I was home alone, and I'm like. And I was like, what are my thoughts?

[C]

Oh, yeah, there it goes.

[A]

Because I'm not home alone a lot. And so maybe I was starting to isolate and I got scared.

[C]

Yeah, it's really scary when you isolate in the beginning.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Just you and your thoughts.

[A]

What do you recommend for a woman nowadays for fasting? And, you know, because there is a lot of noise out there, there's a lot of confusion. And you have researched this, not just with this book, but before this, with Fast Like a Girl. What do you recommend women to do? If they say, hey, I think I want to do that. Why should I do that?

[C]

Yeah. So the first thing I want to say is fasting is a biological instinct that comes with all kinds of healing mechanisms. So when I hear women say, I can't fast or I shouldn't f, I just want to point out that it is a healing response that goes on, and everybody has the capability to do it. I've taken people through the craziest eating disorders and food challenges and taught them how to fast. So second thing is that a woman should fast according to her cycle. I put that in Fast Like a Girl when we go through menopause, because the brain becomes Less sensitive to glucose, we have to rely on another fuel source. Lisa Moscone and I talked about this on my podcast, and I do not think it gets enough credit. And ketones are that fuel source. And I asked Lisa that. I was like, so when a woman goes through menopause, then if her brain doesn't know how to use glucose for energy, we have another energy source, and it's called a ketone. Why wouldn't she go into using ketones for energy? Energy? And she's like, I think that's an amazing idea. So when we're looking at it through the lens of brain energy, nothing will supercharge your brain more through this whole experience, like dosing ketones into your body every single day.

[A]

So what does that mean?

[C]

13 to 15 hours of fasting. That's intermittent fasting. It's not hard. You can skip dinner, you can skip breakfast. Just look at your day and go, I have an eating window. And I have a fasting window.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

And once I open up my eating window, then you eat, and then you close that eating window down at some point.

[A]

What is the amount of hours that's the best? 13 to 15 to 15 is. So if you're 7 o' clock at night, it means 8 o' clock the next morning, and that's enough. So I think some people think that it needs to be like noon the next day. And then we're about talking. Talking about 16 and 18 and crazy hours of things, right?

[C]

No.

[A]

So. So 13 to 15 is what we're talking about.

[C]

Yeah. And you're learning how to get your body into this, what we call the fat burning energy system. And your body will burn fat, the fat you're tired of, and it will make this ketone that goes up into the brain and it starts to supercharge your brain. Now, if you still are. You're perimenopausal and you're still cycling, I really want to point out that I still stand behind. Don't fast the week before your peripheral period. Progesterone doesn't like it when you fast, so I still stand behind that.

[A]

So if you're still having your period, you have that one week leading up to your period. You should not do that. Then the other three you can.

[C]

That's right.

[A]

And then would you do it the same way with the 13 to 15 to 15 is.

[C]

The 13 to 15 is great. If you want to do more, go for it. And that leads me to the next point, which is I have watched post menopausal women bring Their memory back like a bottle boss from going on longer fasts. And let me explain this because this is the most misunderstood part of fasting and menopause because it's the brain. I'm not talking about your athletic ability and we'll go there in a moment. But when you go into like a three day water fast, you have given yourself three days of ketones. Ketones are neuroprotective. When a woman goes into a longer fast, she's bathing her brain in ketones, which repairs that.

[A]

If you did a water water fast is a longer fast you're talking about. How do you succeed at that? How do you do it? What is it?

[C]

So in the book, I have like the transformational reason behind the three day water fast. And I'm not. I don't want to lose people on this. And then I know, like, peace out. I can't do three days.

[A]

Three day what?

[C]

Yeah, it sounds crazy, but you train for it. How do you run 26.2 miles in a marathon? You don't put on some tennis shoes and go run 13 miles in a day. You do small increments. This is the best way to train. I really like something called a 511 where five days a week you do a comfortable fast. Whatever. Comfortable is 13 hours, 12 hours, whatever. One day a week you elongate your fast. Can you go to 24 hours? Just push it till it's a little uncomfortable.

[A]

Fast water water. Only plain water.

[C]

You can have coffee.

[A]

Oh, okay. I love you.

[C]

Yeah, just no sugar in your coffee. So. And then one day a week you don't fast. Okay, 511 easy. Do that for a while and then once you can get to like one meal a day where you're just maybe eating lunch or you're eating dinner, what you'll find is that you can launch into a three day water fast. Much easier. We do in January, we actually. This was part of my fire story with our publisher. We do 100,000 people water fast across the world. And here's another neuroses.

[A]

That's amazing.

[C]

Of the overachieving woman.

[A]

Tell me about your overachievement.

[C]

When the LA fires hit, I had, I was on the SEC. I was leading a group of 100,000 people through a water fast.

[A]

Oh my gosh.

[C]

And it was on the second day of the water fast and I'm exiting my neighborhood with my neighborhood burning and I'm talking to my husband and I'm, I'm like, I just need to get down to PCH and get to a Parking lot so I can pop on the call and lead. Lead the group.

[A]

You are.

[C]

That's commitment.

[A]

And is that what you did? I was like, what are you talking about?

[C]

My husband was like, honey, go to the hotel that I just. Which is right near your apartment.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

And. And just get there. We've got you.

[A]

Yeah, because I thought that, that, that was like.

[C]

You're unbelievable, Mindy. I was just committed.

[A]

Well, you were committed.

[C]

Everybody else but me.

[A]

I was just going to say to every other person, but I want women.

[C]

To start to look at fasting. Let's go back to the confusion. I want you to understand that whatever length fast you choose, and fast like a girl. I put six different lengths. You can make a choice and decide what you want to do. And it's for your brain.

[A]

That's what people need to hear about.

[C]

That's right.

[A]

I think that that's fascinating. You know, Dr. Lisa Moscone has been on the show. I am a. You know, I'm a huge fan of hers. But, you know, to talk about that is really exciting to put that into play because I that her research. There's so much hope. There's so much hope. And to know that you can do something for your brain like that. So how do you feel when you're on a water fast?

[C]

When you first hit the new levels of fasting and you're a little uncomfortable? Here's what I wanna say, and this is why I love the three day water fast, is that you start to see your relationship to food. When you get hungry, okay, you start to ask yourself, why am I hungry? Am I bored? Or am I actually hungry? And then it usually goes into a place of like, I'm gonna. You die when. Without food. And then you all of a sudden hit a place where the body metabolically switches over into ketones and it starts burning fat to make a ketone. And all of a sudden you go from, oh, my God, am I gonna survive? I'm going this long to, Wait a second, I'm not hungry. Wait a second. I'm kind of calm.

[A]

Do you stop thinking about it?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

On, like, day two.

[C]

It can happen on day one.

[A]

Ah. Okay.

[C]

Okay. The noise in our head stops.

[A]

That's nice.

[C]

Ketones bring gaba. Gaba is the neurotransmitter that calms us. And so all of a sudden, the longer you go into it, you would think you would die, but you don't. The opposite happens. You hit a place where you see your relationship to food, and then all of a sudden, the Noise ends.

[A]

You know, we talk about longevity these days, and I think it's just a big blanket, you know, like, what does that mean? Live longer? The effects of fasting on longevity.

[C]

Yeah, so we know that fasting stimulates something called autophagy. And autophagy is your brilliant body's ability to repair itself. So at about 17 hours without food, the cells look inside and they go, hey, there's some parts in here that are broken. We need to fix them. And so it'll fix intercellular parts. Sometimes your brilliant body will. Will go, wait, there's a bacteria or virus in here. Or maybe there's some heavy metals that needs to kick out. So it'll start to push out the bad, and it revitalizes the cell. Okay, then we have cells that are called zombie cells. Let's just call them that. The zombie cells are the aging cells. Those are the ones that are aging you quicker and quicker. When you stimulate autophagy and you stimulate this intelligence, what will end up happening is the zombies cell will die. It's something called apoptosis, where the intelligence inside the cell says, well, this one is really messed up. There's too much to fix in here, so we're gonna kill it and get it out of the system. So you could also call them aging cells. So these cells that are starting to age you quicker and quicker. When you start to learn to fast, you tap into your body's ability to get rid of those. Those cells.

[A]

I think I need to. Do I need to try it with you in January?

[C]

Yeah, please.

[A]

I think I'm gonna commit to that. Just for people who are listening. Yes. Age like a girl, you also have Eat like a girl, you also have fast like a girl, which we mentioned. So we'll make sure all those are in the show notes. Just because there's so much in each one of them that I don't want people to feel that they don't have the source of all of it. So don't feel overwhelmed. You have a lot. I'm so happy you came today. I so appreciate it. It's your pub day.

[C]

I know it helps you.

[A]

It's such a big day, and it just. It feels really great. Okay. If this conversation made you rethink what is happening in your body or helped you feel less alone in all of it, you are not imagining things. Dr. Mindy Pelt New book, Age Like a Girl. How menopause rewires your brain for mental clarity. Increased confidence and renewed energy goes deeper into everything we talked about today. Thank you so much.

[C]

Tamsen. I love this and I love you. I felt like Kendra and sold the day and that. Yes, we sat there for hours, which is really.

[A]

I'll never forget that the book is available now. Wherever you get your books, there's a link in the show notes for everything. All of Mindy's books actually. And if this episode resonated with you, please take a moment to leave a review. It helps other women find the show and keeps these conversations going. Thanks for being here and I'll see you next time on the Tamsen Show. Today's podcast is sponsored by Midi Health. So many of you know this, but I was dismissed over and over again when I was struggling with perimenopause symptoms. I didn't even know I was in perimenopause. It is so important you're getting care from someone that specializes in women in midlife and that they're willing to have the hormone therapy conversation with you. I get questions from you every single day about where to go for support and I'm always suggesting Midi Health. It's covered by insurance and you don't even have to leave your house. Ready to feel your best and write your second act script, visit join Midi.com Tamsent today to book your personalized insurance covered virtual. That's joinmitty.com Tamsin Mitty the care women deserve.

[B]

Tonight's the first date that's been weeks in the making. Hair done, nails done, every square inch of your body exfoliated. Then you see it. A pesky pimple the size of a respectable mouth mountain. The good news? Mighty Patch. Pimple patches can absorb gunk in just six hours, patch the problem area and shrink the look of whiteheads faster than your makeup skills could anyway. Shop Mighty Patch at all major retailers.