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Tamsen Fadal
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Tamsen Fadal
Hi there. Welcome back to the Tamsen Show. Well, by the end of today's episode, you are going to have what you need to make a decision that maybe you've been sitting on for a long time. Not the decision itself that's yours, but the framework, the tools, and honestly, the permission. And trust me, I didn't even know that last part was something I needed a lot of. You know, I was a TV news anchor for most of my adult life, like 30 years of it. And that was my identity. Like I was the chair of my job. It wasn't just what I did, it was like who I was. I couldn't see it separately. Tamsen Fadal News, Anchorage I had worked since I was a teenager to get to that chair. I auditioned for it, I fought for it. I showed up every day, I missed holidays, and I stayed in it for a long time because I was good at it, because people expected it of me. And honestly, I was terrified of who I would be without it. And then a few years ago, I made the decision to leave at the age of 52 without a plan that looked like a plan to anybody who knew me. So I want today to talk about
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the moment that I knew it was
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time for me to go. I was sitting in the makeup chair, the same chair I'd been sitting in for decades, and I just felt nothing. I wasn't Tired. I wasn't frustrated or sad or exhausted or any of those things. I just felt nothing. And I remember sitting there thinking, like, when did this stop feeling like something that I was excited about or nervous about or whatever it was? I just felt nothing. And I realized I couldn't remember when. And that's when I knew it was time. The thing that nobody tells you is that change doesn't always announce itself with this big dramatic, like, here's what I'm doing. Here's the big plan, here's the framework. I put it into AI and here's the plan for my business. It's not always a breakdown or a bad boss or a firing or a terrible moment. Sometimes it's just a slow, quiet feeling that one chapter is done and you're ready for something else, even if you don't know what that something else is. What I want to say, though, is ignoring that feeling, pushing through it, doubling down, trying to manufacture something or somebody that isn't there anymore. I have watched that take a real toll on women who were so capable of something extraordinary. A lot of them were waiting for permission that was never coming. A lot of them were saying the word over and over again, like, someday I'll do this, someday I'll do that. If you are sitting with those feelings right now, this episode is for you. So let's go ahead and walk through this together. So, first of all, how do you know it's time? That's probably the number one question I get right now more than anything else. When people hear my story and they know that that's what I did, and I wanna answer it honestly, which means I have to tell you something. It took me years to understand about myself. I used to think I was feeling burnout. Burnout is something the wellness world has, like, lots of language for rest, more, set boundaries, get up, go down, go to sleep, take a vacation. I tried all that stuff. None of that worked. What I was actually experiencing was not burnout at all. It was boredom. And it wasn't anybody's fault. It was just things were completely different for me. Burnout means you care almost too much and you've run out of fuel. Boredom. The interest is just gone. And I think for a long time I thought that boredom at work meant I wasn't grateful enough, Like I wasn't trying hard enough, you know, like I needed to push through. I was wrong. We had a guest on this show just a few weeks ago who spent decades studying how people actually move through their careers, not how we're Told to do it. Not how the world thinks we're supposed to do it, but how we actually do it. And he found there are four distinct career types based on personality. Not on the industry, not on the title, but on your personality. Arthur Brooks was on the show, and I was just. I devoured his book From Strength to Strength. He just wrote another book. He teaches the Science of Happiness at Harvard. And when he explained this to me, you know those moments where you're like, oh, my gosh, he totally gets me and I'm totally justified in what I'm thinking. I felt seen for the first time and in one of those career types, which now I understand describes me completely. And I think it describes a lot of you listening. It's called the spiral. A spiral person doesn't stay in one career forever. They move into a completely new career every 7 to 12 years. Not because they did something wrong, but because. Not because they failed or couldn't handle it or hack it, because that is how they're built. Spirals are curious people. They go all in on each chapter. They build something real, they become really good at it, and then the interest kind of starts to wane and the spiral turns. That is not a character flaw. That is a design feature. Here's the thing that broke something open for me when I learned about it. Spirals burn out if they stay too long. The boredom isn't the problem. It's the signal. It's like the sign of it all. So when the thing that used to light you up just doesn't anymore, that is not a reason to push harder. And by the way, I'm going to put his book down in the show notes in case you want to look at it. Your next chapter is ready. The spiral is turning. So the honest question I want you to sit with right now, not am I happy at work? Do I love it? That's. That's like, just too broad.
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Tam Fam Tax season is one of the only times I usually sit down and look at the full picture. What I earned, what I spent, what I saved. And usually, I got to tell you, it leaves me wondering where it all went. I have been using Monarch and I love it. It has helped me stop looking backward and start making intentional decisions about where my money's going next. Especially when it comes to investing a tax refund wisely instead of just letting it disappear. Simplify your finances with Monarch. Monarch is an all in one personal finance tool designed to make your life easier. And these days, I am all about ease. And here's what I like though, it brings my entire financial life, budgeting accounts and investments, net worth and future planning together in one dashboard on your phone or your laptop. I love it on my app. Feel aware and in control of your finances this tax season and get 50% off your Monarch subscription with Code Tamsen. What I appreciate is that Monarch keeps me focused on achieving milestones, not just tracking my spending. I can see all of it. Debt, payoff timeline, savings goals. Achieve your financial goals for good with Monarch, the all in one tool that makes money management simple. Use code tamsen@monarch.com for half off your first year. That's 50% off@monarch.com Code Tamsen I've been paying a lot more attention to my body lately, especially with spring here. Not in a dramatic way, but just noticing the little things. Recovery energy, even how my skin feels. And I realize a lot of it comes back to what we're putting in our bodies. And that's how I found Bubs Naturals. I started adding their collagen peptides into my routine, usually in coffee or my smoothie. It's one of the things that doesn't complicate your day.
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It just fits in and that's what I like.
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Plus I love how clean it is. No sugar, no fillers, nothing unnecessary. It dissolves easily and no weird taste over time.
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I feel like I'm more supported overall,
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especially with workouts and just staying consistent. They also make electrolytes, creatine and MCT products, so it's really a full system depending on what your body needs. I also really appreciate that everything is third party tested and thoughtfully sourced because that matters to me. Live better, longer For a limited time only, our listeners are getting 20% off at Bubsnaturals by using code TAMSEN at checkout. Just head to Bubsnaturals.com and use code Tamsen and you're all set. After you purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them. Please support the Tamson show and tell
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them our show sent you this is a question when did this stop being interesting to you and can you remember when? Because if you cannot remember the last time your work genuinely excited you, not a good day here or there, but like you know that deep excitement. I'm talking about little butterflies you get in your stomach. That answer is telling you something and I really think it's worth listening to. Once you start hearing that signal, the next thing that happens almost always is that identity question, right? This one kept me stuck for years before I finally left. Who am I without this job, I cannot tell you how many times I asked myself that question. And I even. I asked Ira, I stayed in the wrong place in a lot of different ways because I never had the answer to that. So here's what it actually felt like every time somebody at a party or an event would say, like, so, what are you doing now? And I didn't have a clean answer. It felt like a small cut, because for 30 years, I always had the answer. Oh, my name's Tamsa. I'm a news anchor. I anchor the news. I do the evening news. And that answer came with everything attached to it, like credibility, authority, a reason for people to take me seriously, something for people to talk about. And when that title was gone, I kept waiting for somebody to figure out that I had nothing to back it up with anymore. And that's what identity tied to a job title actually does to you. It outsources your sense of self to something that's outside of you. And in that case, your confidence isn't yours. It belongs to the role. Right? Your credibility isn't yours. Maybe it belongs to the institution of the company. So you've got to make sure that all those things belong to you, because when that role goes away, you're standing there wondering who gave you permission to take up space in whatever room you're in. So I remember waking up, like, three months later going, oh, my gosh, did I make a mistake? Not because I missed the job, but because at least I knew who I was when I was there and I had that title. And I think the most honest thing that I can say about why women oftentimes stay in their careers, not everybody, but oftentimes stay in their careers that no longer fit. It's not a fear of failure. It's a fear of not knowing who we are on the other side. So what I finally had to understand, and it definitely took me longer than I'd like to admit, is that the job was never the source of any of that. The confidence I had, the credibility, the ability to walk into a room and hold it, that was always mine. I just gave it all to the title and to the job. So I'm going to give you a little bit of a challenge. I want you to try something. I want you to write down every role you've ever had, every job, every version of yourself, and then don't look at the titles, look underneath them. What were you doing in every single one of those roles? Not what you were called. What were you doing? Because here's what I realized about myself, something continued to show up over and over again. Like the same skill, the same quality you bring to that, not what it says on your business card. And for me, it was this. I could make complicated things feel human. I could walk into a room and I could talk to people directly, and I would listen to their story because I'm really, really curious and ask a million questions. And I love hearing how their story could help other people. And that's what I did when I was a local reporter in, like, you know, Market 200 and when I was a news anchor in Market 1. And the same is actually true right now. That wasn't like the newsrooms thing. That was what I was good at and made me. I don't know, it just made me feel great and confident and helpful. And that's the part that you're gonna take with you. So if you're thinking like, oh, my gosh, I wanna do something else, I don't know what to do. I don't know where to begin. You do know where to begin. And that's why that word reinvention, a lot of times really is misplaced, because I feel like reinvention makes us think we have to start all over from square one, and we don't. You already have what you need. You already have that real currency. You already have what it is that is going to bring you to the next place. Okay, I'm going to be really direct with you here because most career advice kind of skips over this, and I think it's a disservice. I think you really have to sit with it because you say the words, but then actually doing them can be complicated. So let's talk about finances first before
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you make any move.
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You need a Runway. You have to have that, or you're
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going to be under immense pressure if
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you don't do that. So I would say ideally, six to 12 months of personal expenses in the bank, money that you don't have to touch while you figure out the next thing. That's why it takes time to start, you know, ramping up a bit. So if you're listening to this today, start today thinking about those things. And that number's different for everybody. But be honest with yourself about what yours actually is. Because when you make a career transition or change jobs or want to start something different, when you're in financial stress, it just is really, really hard. And it's hard in a way that doesn't have to be that difficult. Give yourself the breathing room. You deserve it. You don't have to change jobs today, but I think you'll really make better decisions because of it. Because when I first started thinking about things versus where I was down the line, people thought I made that decision overnight. I did not make that overnight. The second thing is jump before you're pushed. Most women I know who have left careers look back and they're like, oh gosh, the signs were there way before I left.
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Maybe it was a slow fade.
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Maybe it was feeling like the conversations that you let slide that just kept going. Politics at work. And you might already be sensing that it's time for you to go. So I would start exploring your options now.
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And that is gonna give you that
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confidence, not because you have to leave
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tomorrow, but because you wanna leave on
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your own terms and you're in control. And that was always kind of sitting there in the back of my head. Especially because I had somebody when I was very young telling me that my role I would age out of eventually. So that always kind of sat in the back of my mind. I never wanted to be pushed out. I wanted to make that decision for myself and decide that my story about
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why I left why is finding a
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rug so much harder than it should be? It's crazy, right?
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Either you get something beautiful that you're afraid to live on or something washable that actually doesn't look good. There's never been a middle ground until tumble. I have one in my space and
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what I love is that it looks
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like a designer rug, but it's built for real life. Spills, traffic, everyday messes so it doesn't feel stressful. The first time I saw something spill on it, I almost freaked out. But it just beat it up on the surface.
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I was shocked.
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You literally wipe it away and when it needs a deeper clean, you can throw it in the washing machine. Even larger sizes. The rug pad system is also really smart. It keeps everything in place so nothing shifts or slides or bunches, which matters more than you think. And they're non toxic, which is important if you're spending time on the floor or just want a cleaner home environment. Machine Washable rugs made better. For a limited time only, our listeners get 10% off plus free shipping@tumbleliving.com Tamsin that's T U M B L E living.com forward/tamsen. After you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support the Tamsen show and tell them our show sent you. Okay, let's talk a little shopping.
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I've been doing a quiet reset with
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my closet lately, not buying more, just buying better pieces that feel good, that
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last that I don't have to think
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twice about when I get dressed. And it's why I keep coming back to Quince. Their fabrics feel elevated, the fits are easy and everything just works together.
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I love their V neck cotton tees for everyday wear. I always have one on and practically
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live in my Bella Stretch wide leg jeans.
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I have them in all different washes.
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Quince uses materials like European linen, organic cotton and real soft denim. And everything starts around $50, which makes no sense in the best way.
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They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middlemen.
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So you're paying for quality, not markup. It's just simple, beautiful, well made clothing
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and it fits into real life.
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Refresh your spring wardrobe with Quince. Go to Quince.com Tamsin for free shipping and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. Go to Q-U-I-N-C-E.com Tamsen for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com Tamsen and then the third thing
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is, and this is different for everybody, but it's kind of like a test drive, right? Start tapping your toe into what it is you might want to do before you actually commit. Maybe an hour here, there a Saturday. You don't have to go build a whole new career overnight and have like a board of advisors and be ready to go and have employees. But find out whether you actually love the reality of it and not just the idea of it. I've watched a lot of people like completely love a concept and then discover the actual job kind of sucks and it's not what they imagined. So the fantasy of a thing and then the real thing when you have to get up and do it could be different. So I did that exact same thing. I started showing up on social media while I was still anchoring the evening news and I wasn't even strategic about it. I started talking about things I was learning, feeling and going through and it connected. And I've connected with so many of you as a result. And then I kept going. And then I'd wake up earlier, do my videos and I would not want to stop them. And I would answer my comments and my DMs and really start building relationships with people who I'd never met before who were going through the same things I was. And then I started writing the book and interviewing experts. But all that happened while I was still sitting in that anchor chair every night. And trust me, I'm not gonna BS you. That overlap period was a lot. There were early mornings and late nights, and people were like, you're burning the candle at both ends. It's crazy.
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It doesn't make any sense.
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But that overlap brought clarity to me. So when I made that decision, I knew what I was doing. I spent every morning just kind of building the next little thing. And the big part of it was that the community was real and the work mattered in such a way that it filled me up instead of draining me versus a job that I just felt like I was done doing. And then eventually, and people told me this, once you leave, you're going to be like, I wonder why I stayed so long.
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Why did I wait?
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And that's exactly what I thought. So whatever your test drive or dipping your toe in the water looks like, that side project, the early mornings, let that energize you. And don't underestimate what that period is doing for you, because it's not just building the next thing. It's you showing up every single day realizing that next chapter, our next thing, our next job is possible. I think it's also important not to burn bridges behind you. You know, the world is very small. Those relationships really matter. The contacts, the people, the colleagues, the people who are part of the work, they all matter in the next chapter. I still have all those relationships, and they overlap in a lot of different ways. And there's oftentimes when somebody will reach out to me and say, like, hey, I want to start doing podcasts now. Where can I do that? Or what can I do? Or how can I help? So it's really important that you don't underestimate people and community, and it just makes you feel better overall. It really, really does. That all travels with you. I know we've gone through a lot today. I want to end with one thing I needed to hear the most. And nobody said this to me. It's not too late. I left a 30 year career at the age of 52. My book came out when I was 54. This podcast launched after that. I'm not telling you this to hold myself up as some kind of example. Far from it. I'm telling you this because I know exactly what that voice in the back of your head sounds like. That's like the window's closing. Your best years are behind you. You know, you should have done this earlier in life, because I live with that voice for so many years in my head. I want you to hear this from somebody standing on the other side of it now. Your window's not closing. The things that will work in this second chapter or third chapter, self, knowledge, wisdom, resilience, clarity about what matters. You didn't have those things when you were 25 or 30. You have earned all of that. You've been earning them this whole time. The next chapter doesn't happen in spite of everything you've been through. I promise you it happens because of all of that. The good and the bad and staying in something that doesn't fit anymore because you're afraid of what's next. It's not going to be safety at some point. It's just kind of feeling stuck. So nobody's giving you a green light. No one is going to tell you the timing is perfect. But I am here to tell you that if you decide you're ready, then you must go. If today stirred something in you, I so hope it did. I want you to start with one thing. Find one person who has done something close to what you're imagining you want to do. And reach out on LinkedIn, on Instagram, on YouTube, wherever it is. That one conversation might be the one that changes everything. And please, if you can, share this episode with the woman in your life who has been sitting on this feeling too. You know who she is. She knows who she is and she probably just needs to hear it today, that you're not too old, you've not missed out, you're not too far in. I promise you, you're just getting started. And I would love to hear your story. I really would. I'm so glad you're here and I will see you next time on the Tamsen Show.
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