The Telepathy Tapes — BONUS LIVE TALK TRACKS: "Love Beyond Words"

Podcast: The Telepathy Tapes
Host: Ky Dickens
Date: April 13, 2025
Live from: South by Southwest, Hotel St. Cecilia, Austin, Texas
Panelists:

• Whitney Wolfe Herd (Founder, Bumble)
• Jez (Jaz) Chung (Artist, Writer, Advocate)
• Libby Ingram (Parent, featured in season one, mother of non-speaking autistic John Paul)

Episode Overview

In this special live panel, host Ky Dickens and three guests discuss love, dating, and human connection through a neurodiverse lens, with a special focus on non-speakers with autism and the extraordinary ways they communicate and experience relationships. The conversation explores how love is expressed beyond conventional words: through empathy, technology, family, and even telepathy. The episode challenges the boundaries of communication, celebrates neurodiversity, and offers heartfelt advice for building meaningful bonds in a world often shaped by misunderstanding.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Personal Definitions of Love and Connection

[03:10] Libby Ingram:

• Love is "unselfish," about seeing and accepting someone exactly as they are:

  "You love from here [heart] more than you do from the outside...You want the best for them. You're proud of them."

[03:38] Jez Chung:

• Presented a life philosophy written at 13, centered on striving for happiness, learning from challenges, and staying true to oneself:

  "Love can't exist without safety, respect, and dignity."
  "Stay true to oneself even after enduring the best and worst of life."

[04:32] Whitney Wolfe Herd:

• Love is central to her life's work, both personally and professionally:

  "Love is kind of the love of my life...bringing people together, that is love for me."
  "Love transcends anything we can do at the human level."

2. Inclusion in Dating & Technology

[06:30] Whitney:

• Emphasized the need to involve neurodivergent individuals in designing products:

  "Building for them, not for us...We just have to be better listeners and build for the community."

• Shared how loneliness is universal and inclusive technology can empower all to connect.

[16:30] Whitney:

• Bumble is making an “emotional shift” in its approach, moving from “judgment and rejection” to “curiosity and confidence”:

  "We're going to really put a lot of emphasis on this journey of self-love...We have to help people meet themselves before we help them meet others."

3. Neurodivergent Experiences in Relationships

[08:11] Jez:

• Shared how lack of representation led to internalized struggles until discovering her identity as autistic in her late 20s:

  "I felt like I am having this experience that no one else is having."

• Advocates loudly for those who don’t fit the dominant narratives:

  "Your experience matters and your voice also deserves to be heard."

[10:18] Libby:

• On her son John Paul's relationship and love without words:

  "I just felt like John Paul had the purest soul. He loved unconditionally… No ego attached."
  "He saw the bigger picture. He saw that nothing here really matters. Love is what matters. Everything else is superficial nonsense."

4. Communication, Consent, and Self-discovery

[12:15] Jez:

• Celebrated the importance of needs and authentic self-expression:

  "There's nothing wrong with who you are and how you communicate...It is okay to have needs.”
  “Instead of asking, ‘What's wrong with you?’…say, ‘What do I need?’”

[13:44] Libby:

• On parental support:

  "You can't micromanage their relationships...He needed a life I knew nothing about...You’ve got to be able to trust people or your child is not going to have any freedom."

[33:38] Jez:

• Introduced the idea of “interdependence” as the balance between codependency and hyper-independence:

  “It’s working in symbiotic reciprocity...deep, deep, deep listening.”

5. Redefining Love Languages & Friendship

[22:50] Jez:

• Describes “parallel play” and neurodivergent love languages:

  "Parallel play, which is one of the five neurodivergent love languages... please crush my soul back into my body, which I love...honesty and curiosity are so sexy."

• Advocates for focusing on honesty and curiosity over perfection.

[24:49] Whitney:

• Community and family shape love globally; cultural differences matter in technology design:

  "Making people feel safe and accepted, I think is so critical."
  "People actually find the best relationships in shared values...rooted in family and community."

6. Love Beyond Words and Telepathy

[20:55] Libby:

• Explains how her son and his girlfriend connect through telepathy, stimming, and silent understanding:

  "I cannot put a neurotypical ideal or what I think it should look like, because they’re not neurotypical...it's as equally meaningful and beautiful to them as it...It’s just different."

• Tells listeners to “tell [non-speakers] in your head”:

  "Just tell them in your head. I do it all the time…sometimes they’ll kind of look at me."

[47:31] Libby:

"If John Paul said, ‘Non-speakers, we can do this. We hear you. Just have good energy around them. They feel the energy...Just accept them. They're doing the best they can. They're very brave to be out in the world with all the challenges they have.'"

7. Advice for Listeners & Takeaways

[32:11] Whitney:

• Encourages self-reflection before seeking love externally:

  “Everybody I know that has now found love...met someone after they had met themselves.”

[43:45] Jez:

“Love is a way of being with yourself. One of my favorite thinkers, Grace Lee Boggs, said, ‘Transform yourself to transform the world…love yourself, to love the world.’”

[44:42] Libby:

"Make your whole life about it [love]...If we just all cared about each other a little and did our own part, the world would be so much better."

[48:08] Ky:

"Love is anything that unifies...We make so many decisions to divide...There are always two choices: love and fear."

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [04:32] Whitney Wolfe Herd:

  “Love transcends anything that we can do at the human level.”

• [10:18] Libby Ingram (on her son):

  “If people were ugly or unkind...he would say, ‘They don’t understand, just love them.’”

• [33:38] Jez Chung:

  “Interdependence...this knowing of ‘You matter to me. I matter to you. I need you and you need me.’”

• [40:26] Whitney Wolfe Herd (on the impact of The Telepathy Tapes):

  “When I heard that the whole purpose of our existence...was just love...Every cell in my body just lit up...I looked up to the sky and said, ‘Universe, use me for love and light...’”

• [43:45] Jez Chung:

  “Love is a way of being with yourself...How do you love yourself when you are not at your best?”

• [44:42] Libby Ingram:

  “Just do something that makes a difference...Even if it seems insignificant, it makes such a difference.”

• [48:08] Ky Dickens:

  “Love is anything that unifies...We all can feel each other’s feelings...It changes your frequency.”

• [49:42] Ky Dickens:

  “Why do you need instruments to test [telepathy] when you’re not looking for instruments to test love, which is the greatest superpower?”

Timestamps for Crucial Segments

• [03:10] — Personal definitions of love
• [06:30] — Making dating apps inclusive
• [08:11] — Jez’s experience discovering her neurodivergence
• [10:18] — Libby shares insights on her non-speaking son’s relationship
• [16:30] — Bumble’s emotional shift; self-love and online connection
• [20:55] — How telepathy played a role in John Paul's relationship
• [22:50] — Neurodivergent love languages and parallel play
• [24:49] — The importance of family, community, and shared values in relationships
• [32:11] — Whitney on finding love by first meeting oneself
• [33:38] — Jez introduces “interdependence”
• [43:45] — Jez: “Love is a way of being with yourself.”
• [44:42] — Libby: “Make your whole life about love.”
• [46:18] — Advice for interacting with non-speakers: “Tell them in your head.”
• [48:08] — Ky: “Love is anything that unifies...there are always two choices: love and fear.”

Final Thoughts & Takeaways

• Love is not about fitting a mold but seeing and accepting people as they are.
• Technology must include community input and ensure safety, empathy, and true connection.
• Non-speakers and neurodivergent people possess unique, profound ways to love and communicate, which can teach us all.
• Practicing self-love, honesty, and curiosity are key to cultivating all relationships.
• Small gestures—whether a kind thought toward someone or creating inclusive platforms—can have transformative impact.
• “Make your whole life about love,” as John Paul (through Libby) suggests, is the ultimate unifying principle, both for relationships and for reshaping society itself.

Books & Resources Mentioned

• Jez Chung’s book: "This Way to A Gentle Guide to Personal Transformation and Collective Liberation"
• Website recommendation: Stim Punks (for neurodivergent love languages)

Episode in a Sentence:
Love, in all its messy, quiet, or wordless forms, is a language we each speak differently but all deeply understand—and it is our greatest superpower, unifying us far beyond words.

For more, follow The Telepathy Tapes and the featured guests on social media, and explore Jez Chung’s literature and Libby’s advocacy for non-speaking autistics.