Podcast Summary: The Thyroid Fixer

Episode 573: Stop Meditating! Calm Your Nervous System in 2 Minutes and Reset Your Hormones with Dr. Melissa Sonners

Host: Dr. Amie Hornaman
Guest: Dr. Melissa Sonners
Date: October 28, 2025

Episode Overview

In this empowering episode, Dr. Amie Hornaman welcomes Dr. Melissa Sonners to explore the overlooked—yet essential—role of nervous system regulation in hormonal health, specifically for women dealing with thyroid dysfunction, hormone imbalance, and high-functioning lifestyles. Dr. Sonners shares her personal journey of health crisis and recovery, then offers science-backed, easily actionable micro-regulation strategies for busy women. The episode dispels perfectionist self-care myths and emphasizes intuitive, micro-dose nervous system resets you can do in under two minutes.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Why Address the Nervous System? (09:20–13:00)

• Current Health Paradigm: Even when women "do all the right things" for hormone and thyroid health (medications, sleep, diet, etc.), many still suffer symptoms: anxiety, fatigue, weight gain, brain fog.
• Nervous System as a Key Layer: Dr. Sonners argues that chronic, modern stressors keep women in a heightened "fight or flight" state, blocking true healing—no matter the other interventions.
• Denial of Stress: Women often minimize their stress levels because "we have to." The real issue is not just acute stress but chronic, relentless activation ("most of us don’t know how to relax").
  • "We as humans, especially as women, tend to perseverate... Instead of perceiving and dropping it, we future trip or ruminate about the past." — Dr. Sonners (09:30)

2. Rewriting “Self-Care”: Microdosing Calm (16:00–21:00)

• Personal Story: Dr. Sonners recounts a health collapse (meningitis, encephalitis, mold toxicity), brought on by ignoring her body's signals despite peak "doing":
  • "I didn't feel that I had the tools to actually be able to listen to what I needed... As every whisper does, it turns into a scream." (Dr. Sonners, 19:00)
• From Macro to Micro: True healing is less about occasional big self-care moments and more about frequent, tiny moments of connection—"microdosing" calm throughout the day.

3. How Change Actually Happens (28:00–32:00)

• Familiar = Safe (even if harmful): The nervous system prefers what feels familiar—even destructive habits—over unfamiliar positive change.
  • "Your nervous system will crave a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven every time." — Dr. Sonners (28:36)
• Power of Awareness: The first step is simply noticing a behavior before you do it, rather than forcing instant change.
  • “In the pause is choice, and choice is power.” — Dr. Sonners (30:00)

4. Dr. Sonners’ Two-Minute Regulation Toolbox (32:30–37:00)

• First Hack: The Expanded Gaze
  • Go outside (if possible), and look at something over five feet away for five minutes, three to five times a day.
  • Shifts the brain from survival mode (sympathetic) to healing mode (parasympathetic).
  • “When we expand our gaze, we instantly switch from fight or flight in our head, and we get into our hearts.”—Dr. Sonners (33:41)
• Using “Water Breaks” for Your Brain:
  • Treat calm like taking a water break during a marathon—microdosing it throughout the day supports nervous system resilience.

5. The Four Brainwaves & Their Roles (40:37–61:30)

• Theta: Dreamlike, subconscious state—when you first wake up. Best time for intuitive insights; avoid external input here (no news/social media).
• Alpha: Flow state, heart-open connection. A few minutes in Alpha (light movement, stretching, journaling) primes productivity and emotional regulation.
  • Tip: Staring at a flickering candle can induce Alpha state if you’re stuck in anxious “doing.”
• Beta: Focused, doing state. Most women spend too much time here; screens and modern life “lock” us in Beta.
  • Crucial insight: Taking breaks (expansive gaze, stretching) interrupts Beta, prevents burnout, and boosts later effectiveness.
• Delta: Deep rest, nighttime healing.
  • Evening wind-down = NO screens, read a physical book with low/red light. Even five minutes works.
  • “If we miss this, we miss the opportunity to heal, repair, regulate, regenerate... It’s not worth it. Bump everything you can to your time slot tomorrow.” — Dr. Sonners (57:10)

6. Real-Life Application and Flexibility (61:00+)

• It’s NOT all or nothing: Blend screens/social time with nervous system breaks (blue blocking glasses, etc.). “Both/and, not either/or.”
• It’s OK if it feels weird at first: Calm is unfamiliar if you’re used to chaos. Over time, microdosing calm will feel easier and safer.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Microdosing Calm:
  “Microdosing connection with ourselves and microdosing nervous system regulation... That’s how we win as women. That’s how we start to get it all done, by focusing not just on what we do, but who we be as we do it.”
  — Dr. Melissa Sonners (24:00)

• On Rewiring Familiarity:
  “Our nervous system craves what is familiar... It will crave a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven every time.”
  — Dr. Sonners (28:36)

• On Catching Busyness:
  “If you’re a high performer, the kind everyone can rely on to get it done—when you’re not used to calm, at first it feels weird. Our nervous system craves what is familiar.”
  — Dr. Sonners (27:00)

• On Regulating Before Doing:
  “Instead of saying, ‘I’ll do these five emails and then I’ll feel calm,’ go do the calm first. Your emails will feel completely different.”—Dr. Sonners (53:01)

Action Steps & Takeaways (with Timestamps)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Chronic Stress & Denial (08:00–13:00)
• Melissa’s Personal Health Crisis (16:00–21:00)
• Familiarity and Habit Change (28:00–32:00)
• First Two-Minute Hack: Expansive Gaze (33:00–36:00)
• Brainwaves for Women, Morning to Night (40:30–61:30)
• How to Microdose Calm & Evening Routines (57:00–61:30)

Top Micro-Regulation Tools

• Pause for Awareness: Before grabbing your phone or reaching for old coping mechanisms, notice and name your action.
• Expansive Gaze: Three to five times a day, look at something five feet away for two to five minutes—ideally outdoors.
• Morning Theta Time: Protect the first five minutes after waking—no screens, no inputs—just listen to your body and mind.
• Alpha Induction: Stretching, gentle movement, journaling, or gazing at a candle flame to downshift from “doing” to “being.”
• Delta Wind-Down: 20 (or even 5) minutes before bed, put away screens, read a paper book with warm/red lighting.

Additional Resources

• Dr. Melissa Sonners’ Website: drmelissasonners.com – Free resources, book (“The Connection Code”), courses, and her “Self With” 5-Day Challenge.
• Book Recommendation: The Connection Code by Dr. Melissa Sonners (details in episode show notes).
• Self With Challenge: Five-day microdose self-regulation challenge—one simple adjustment per day.

Host & Guest Closing Thoughts

• Dr. Amie Hornaman shares personal connections and acknowledges that this discussion lifts a psychological weight, offering hope and validation for “type A” women who feel their health struggles haven’t improved despite best efforts.
• Dr. Sonners emphasizes that “doing less and being more” is an act of service and power, not selfishness:
  “I wanted to flip the word from selfish to ‘self with’... Doing less and being more is really what we need these days as women.” (Dr. Sonners, 63:06)

This episode delivers actionable science, personal honesty, and a compassionate call for women to reclaim nervous system health with micro-moments of calm—transforming both hormones and life.