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Tim Dillon
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show. Drug overdoses are down nationally and officials are wondering what's working. People cannot afford drugs. It's actually terrible. This is actually an indication of how terrible the economy is. People cannot afford the quantities of drugs needed to overdose. They have fallen. Overdose deaths have fallen for six months straight. Turn me down a little bit. I'm in my. I'm a little loud in my headphones. Okay. Turn me up a little. Find a balance. Perfect. I'll tell you right now, this is not a good indication of the economy. A good economy. People have enough money to buy enough fentanyl to check out. If you are sitting there and you can barely od, if you can barely check out because you've got nothing. Coast to coast, major US cities are seeing measurable drops in drug overdose deaths. Public health officials welcome the news, despite an inability to fully explain the decrease. Nobody has any money. Drug overdose deaths fell 12.7%. This is the largest recorded reduction in overdose death. It's because people don't have any money. They don't have any disposable income. They're strapped, they're shot, they're fucked. If I was running for president right now, I would say my main goal is to get people enough money to overdose in this country the way they were. Enough money to die on the street the way they were when things were good. This photo of me and my godson is being shared around social media and it's actually beautiful. This is me and my godson after I bought him a. What is that? A Kalishnikov?
Unknown
Kalishnikov.
Tim Dillon
Is that what it is? Yep.
Unknown
You got it?
Tim Dillon
Yeah. I'm. I'm always correct. That is Yaya Sinwar. That is actually not me. Yaya Sinwar who has died. Is the war over? Is the war over now? Does the war end? Does the war end? Will the war end? Can the war end? Can it end? Will it end? What's going on with Iran? I think maybe that's the next phase of the war is Iran. Iran says it's planning to hold first joint military drills with Saudis in the Red Sea. Riyadh is not confirmed. It will join the exercises. Saudis are not going to help Iran. That's not going to work. Iran go to Russia, go to China. The Saudis are not going to help. I don't know what is going to happen. Saudis and Iran have long been rivals in the region who have long backed opposing sides in conflict zones, severed diplomatic ties. In 2016, however, Shiite Muslim dominated Iran And Sunni majority Saudi Arabia resumed relations last year under a surprise China brokered deal. Another example of China playing a constructive role in world affairs. China, everybody. All we hear is how bad China. They're gonna kill everybody. And China's making peace deals, whereas we are either don't have an interest or can't. China's out there building schools in Africa and getting these people together. I'm sure China has their negatives. We all have our negatives, don't we? Don't we all have our negatives? Don't the best people have a dark side? China has a dark side. China has a dark side. But it doesn't matter when you see them do something good. When China does something good, we should say, good for you, China. Thank you, China. Thank you, China. We shouldn't always be focusing on the internment camps they put those Uighurs in or whatever. That's always negative. I don't like that. It's like when your friend marries a girl and you bring up that she was a big whore or something. It's like, enough people change and grow. I think they're still in those internment camps. I don't really know. It's not my business. Pizza Hut offers to print resumes on boxes and deliver to employers. I like this. We know Pizza Hut. We love Pizza Hut. We're not gonna play the video we made about Pizza Hut because we were almost sued by the good people at Yum Brands. But Pizza Hut is aims to support your job search with the launch of Res Z Ames, a pizza box that doubles as a resume. Now, if you want bleaker news than this, I cannot help you. This is the bleakest article of all the articles. We have articles about airstrikes burning people alive. We have articles about couples killing each other. You have articles about all the things they're doing in Florida. And yet nothing, Nothing is as bleak as this article where Pizza Hut is trying to help people get work. Okay, listen to this. Today, Pizza Hut is launching Res. Aims.
Unknown
Resumes. Wait, it's like a pun. Like resumes. Resume. Resumes.
Tim Dillon
Oh, okay. Oh, sorry. Yeah, that makes sense. Resumes. Yeah, I was like, what is. Okay, rez. But they're not spelling it. Okay, gotcha. I. Okay. There's no way anyone participating in this program is pronouncing it correctly. They're all pronouncing it like I am. Today, Pizza Hut is launching Resumes, a new offering aimed to help professionals stand out in today's competitive job market by delivering their resumes to prospective employers in a way that is sure to turn heads via Pizza Hut's iconic pizza boxes. 75% of resumes are never read. But an office pizza is hard to ignore amid the time of year coin September surge where there is a notable increase in job opportunities across industries. At the start of quarter four, Pizza Hut is leveraging what it does best. Deliver hot, ready to eat pizza to help job seekers grab the attention of employers and deliciously differentiate themselves in a crowded job market. Can you imagine if this is your hail Mary? Can you imagine if this is it? Can you. Let me tell you how bad it is. You have a chair, you have a rope and the rope is already tied to the beam. You have tested the beam and you know it can hold your weight. You are sitting there and you are saying fuck it. One last shot, one last hail Mary to land a fucking job. I'm going to send a greasy, disgusting Pizza Hut pizza with my hot resume in it. The resume is going to come out hot, smelling like garlic, probably smudge, like the ink is going to be all smudged. Okay? This is the bleakest thing I maybe have ever read on the show. And all I've done for the last eight years is read the bleakest, worst news. You know, throw the baby in a volcano. Whatever else everyone's doing out there, resumes allows job applicants in the toughest job market, New York City to stand out like never before. I mean, can you imagine this? This piping hot resume will be almost impossible to ignore. We know finding a job can be daunting, especially during this key hiring season. So we wanted to lend a hand to our job seeking customers. So Pizza Hut is struggling so much as a brand that this is how bad they are doing. By the way. This should not be over. You know, like, we cannot overstate how terrible Pizza Hut is doing that this crack scheme, okay, to deliver resumes to companies. By combining Pizza Huts iconic pizza boxes with job seekers resumes, we're hoping to help resumes drum up the same excitement as office pizza and help applicants make. First of all, do you even get a pizza here?
Unknown
Let's find out.
Tim Dillon
Do you even get a goddamn? Because by the way, if you delivered something that wasn't a pizza with a resume in it, I mean, I would. That's like you would go insane. And now they're out of it. We just clicked on it and they're out of it.
Unknown
Oh man, no. So they must have been selling. I'll check on X.
Tim Dillon
Can you imagine? We got John's name in a pizza box five years ago and now he's the CFO of this company. John delivered his resume to us in a pizza box right before hanging himself. He was standing on the chair when we called him. I mean, this is the wor. I've never heard of a worse idea.
Unknown
Oh, yeah, it came with a pizza. Yep. There you go. Here you go.
Tim Dillon
Can you imagine someone chewing when they call you and tell you they're not interested? By the way, someone who caught like they're chewing and they go, by the way, we're not really looking for anyone at this time, but thank you for the pizza, you dunce. Thanks for the pizza, you loser. You complete zero. Thanks for this hot, delicious pizza. We do not need you. We're not interested at this time. We're not in the market for you scum. But thanks for this pizza. Who pays for the pizza? The unemployed loser. Yeah, so the unemployed loser has to pay for the pizza given to the corporation that doesn't want him. So you're bribing a corporation by sending them a pizza. They don't even want you. You're not even going to hear. You're just going to send pizzas all around New York and no one's even gonna. It's never gonna work. This doesn't work. This is not a movie. This is like that movie when Richard Gere and Julia Roberts, you know, Pretty Woman. Oh, the hooker is so clean cut and sweet and the business guy. It doesn't work. This is like a 90s movie. It's an early 2000s rom com where you deliver a pizza and you get a job. That's not what happens. Some fat secretary is going to eat the pizza. Your resume is going in the trash. This isn't it. Stop thinking like everything's as whimsical way. It's going to happen. It's not a whimsical thing. This world. When I grew up, everybody, everybody believed everything was whimsy and whimsical. I'm going to propose. I'm going to put the ring in the cake and my girlfriend's going to notice it. She's going to take a bite of the cake. It's whimsical. It's imprinted on our minds because we've watched so many movies where we go, you know what? I just need to do something unique and fun and silly to make me stand out. It's not a bad job market. I'm just not creative enough. What if I sent him a griddle with my resume as the wrapping around it? Then I'd get a job that's not the way it works. That's not going to help you. You have to figure out something. I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news here. You're going to have to figure out something else. You're not going to fast food, trick your way into employment. Sorry. Sorry. Sending a box of raising canes over to the local bank. Maybe they need a teller. Is not going to work. Sorry, guys. I spelled my name in French fries. I would like to meet the one. And who is this? If. If this. By the way, if this has worked for one person, I will give you a thousand dollars. If this has. If you can prove to me. Tim. Dylan, I don't even know what's the email? Are we just going to get spam emails? If we give the email out, yeah, we shouldn't.
Unknown
Well, we could. I mean, it's a. I don't.
Tim Dillon
I. Yeah, but it's just. There's going to be a thousand email. Like. If you can prove this works, I'll give you $1,000 and I'll interview you on the show. But it. I. It's not. It's not going to ever work. If this has worked for one person, I'll give you $1,000. If you could prove that sending a pizza with your resume on it got you the job, I will give you a thousand dollars. Where should they hit us up?
Unknown
TD Show Ops.
Tim Dillon
Is that okay?
Unknown
Yeah.
Tim Dillon
TD Show Ops at Gmail.
Unknown
Yep.
Tim Dillon
TD S H O W O P S at Gmail.
Unknown
Yep.
Tim Dillon
But don't waste our time. And you, I know you're going to send a bunch of shit. That's fine. I don't care. But if you want $1,000, you have to prove this worked for you. Thousand dollars. This is not any type of. We're going to investigate now. You might not even want us to because you might not want the company to know you listen to this show. Depending on where you work, I don't know. But we are going to investigate. With pizza, with the company, with you. And if this works and everyone's proud of it, I give you a thousand. You will get $1,000. But this is not worked. Why is everyone hating on this? Yaya Sinwar's wife. She's got a $32,000 Birken bag. I think it's nice. Shout a Burke. She's got a nice Burke. Is that the ostrich? Birkins go way up, by the way. 32 is not even the highest end. You know, they're. They're a Birkin banks for 80, 90 rare Birkins can go up. 32 is a mid level Birkin, if that.
Unknown
Yeah, maybe entry level.
Tim Dillon
Entry levels probably about 19 or 20. But 32 is not. I mean, it looks very much like a black. A basic black Birkin in the Hamas tunnel. I'm not super impressed. But by the way, why shouldn't. Here's a great question. By the way, here's a moral question. Why shouldn't this woman have a Birkin? Why shouldn't a terrorist have a Birkin? Well, she's a terror, okay. She's got a bark in. What do you want her to have? What, what is she, Tory Burch? Well, yeah, but. Right, but what is the point here? What is that? Like, I don't understand. This is. Is this the terrorists are being irresponsible with their money narrative that Israel keeps trying to get everybody going on. Well, do you know how much the sweets of the Qatar four seasons cost? I don't know. Aren't. What. I don't understand. Wait, this is why I'm, I. Wait a minute. Hold on. They're terrorists, right? Hamas, a terrorist group. That's the whole point. Now, whether you agree with their aims or not, whatever their whole thing is. Like they, they, they, they try to get stuff going. That's. That's what they try to do. Hama. I'm not saying it's good. Follow me here. Follow me. They're trying to get stuff going. Hamas. That's a, you know, that's a. It's a very. That's a. It's a way to say it. Is it the best way to say it? But they're trying to get stuff going. Where are they going to stay? Where they, where they're going to stay. Like, what are they going to have. They're not paragons of morality. They're going to have to burn to get a burk in. Do you know how much she put Must nag this man about living in the. Going in and out of the tunnel and how hard it is this woman was living in the four seats. But think about this, because it's about the family. She's living in the four seasons of Guitar. She probably doesn't know they're going to do this whole thing. She might. She might. She's like Carmela Soprano. She doesn't know. She doesn't know. She just wants to get a shore house. She just wants to get a shore house. Okay. I watched that episode, White caps. God, I love the Sopranos. So this woman, I don't know her name. But what's her name? Do we know her name? I love people's names. Names matter. They just call her the wife. I know they're not huge on the rights over there for these ladies. Okay, so the wife. The wife. The old ball and chain is probably like we were in the fourth seasons. I was waking up every day to fluffy eggs. Now we're running around the tunnel. They're going to kill us. We're going to. You know. You know what? What quiets her down is a Birkin. Honey, don't worry about it. We have everything under control. Let me come. Come here. Look at a little. Take a little look at the gift. You heard Birkenberg. Like Kardashian. It's for you. That's my best Sinoir. I don't really know, you know, how to do Yaya Sinoir, but it's the same. These are families like anyone else. Yes, of course. People, we. We disagree with the things that they do, but it's a family. She is needling him. You think it's easy to be the head of Hamas, but it's not. I'm not. Can I make a point? It's not your wife. The wife is not always on. She's not always what? Her name is Samar Mohammed Abu Zamar. She's probably not always on the same page with him. You have to give the women little trinkets and things. This is not new. This is not new. She's barking. She's angry. She's in the t. There's no woman that's happy in the tunnel. She's not thrilled in the tunnel. I wouldn't be thrilled in the tunnel. So she's in there with the Burke, and, you know, he said, take your bag in there. Take your bag. Because when we win, because he's got to pretend that's going to happen, even though they're kind of outmatched. When we win, I want you to remember the good things. Take your Birkin in the tunnel. Because when we win, we're going to come out in a Birkin, and then they go to heaven and get 7000 Birkins or whatever. I don't know what he's telling her. I don't know what their version of the virgins is. Women. Maybe it's Perkins. The men get virgins. They get Birkins. This is highly, highly intellectual comedy. I don't know. All I'm saying is that I find it odd that I'm supposed to get angry at the financial decisions that people in Hamas make. I don't understand that. That I'm supposed to be angry that she's got a Birkin. I don't get it, okay? I don't want to go through the whole doctrine of the Islam. I appreciate it, but thank you. I think this woman has every right to have a Birkin bag in her life. It's not like I understand what they're trying to say. People are pointing this out and they're going, well, shouldn't they be. Instead of taking this money and getting her a Birkin bag, shouldn't they be feeding the people? You could make that point about anyone with a Birkin bag. That point could be made about literally anyone with a Birkin bag. Literally anyone, anyone. Whether it's the Real Housewives of Hamas or some bitch on Madison Avenue or in Beverly Hills or in Aspen or wherever. I don't think the biggest problem with Hamas is that the guy's wife has a Birkin. It's just an odd framing of an issue. Can you believe she has a Birkin? They stay at the Four Seasons. I think it's a mid level Birkin. It's. What is it, a Birkin? 40?
Unknown
Yeah.
Tim Dillon
32K. Yeah, it's. It's not the highest ostrich. Birkin is nicer. I think the alligator Birkin. That's fine. Yeah, but I just. I'm just saying this, this. This new thing that we're all doing where, like, we have to judge the spending of people to. Like, what do I. You're going to bomb them and kill him. So what does it matter what they have? What does it matter what they have, by the way? It's crazy. Do you know one of them at Rolex? What is this map? Where is this now going? We're auditing Hamas. Well, they don't spend the money. They're not spending the money in the right way. What. What is this? What are we doing? You killed both? Aren't they all? Daddy killing everyone over there? I just don't understand. It's like an odd. It's a very strange thing that, like the last couple of days and weeks I've seen like this weird, strange. Well, can you believe what they spend their money on over there? I. What? Wait, wait. What? What? Wait, I don't understand. Oh, so that's why they're bad. What about the whole October set? You had me sold that they weren't great with the whole. What they did on October 7th. It doesn't matter that they have a Birkin. It certainly doesn't matter that they Have a Birkin bag. That's not the issue. If you are going to say that they should be spending their money and not living in the lap of luxury and helping their people, you could make that case against most leaders in the world, including people that live in this country. You could easily make that case to a lot of people here. It's like this thing they do. Remember they did this. Who was the guy that. In Russia? Navalny. Navalny made that. You know, I've had friends say to me. I've had friends. These are smart people. The corruption. They say this. They say this with a straight face. They say it with a straight face. They go, we're having dinner, a little dinner. I'm usually having a protein, a salad, little dinner. A lot of them are doing other things. And I go, listen. They go, the corruption in Russia is insane. I go, do tell. Do tell. And they go, you gotta see Navalny. He did these YouTube videos about all of the houses that all the government officials own. I said, wow, that sounds crazy. Get in the car. Get in the car. I'll leave the money for the bill. Get in the car. I'm Navalny and we're going on a tour. I know it's in the nuts. So you're telling me Putin's cronies will have big houses. Get in the car. Get in the car. I'm going to blow your mind. I'm going to blow your mind. We have a lot of beautiful homes here and you're never going to guess who owns them. So what I mean to say is I'm not drawing them all. You're doing moral equivalency. Is that what you're doing? You're doing moral equivalency. You're a stagnant wear Hamas. That's what you're saying. Do you know what would happen to you if you lived in Gaza? Yeah, I'd be in Hamas and I'd be good at it. No, no. Do you know what would happen to gay people in Gaza? Do you know what happens to gay people? I don't. I don't go there. I'm sorry. Do you know, I'm not saying Hamas is good or this is a good way to govern. I'm saying if you want to make this an argument about that they're irresponsible with the funds, that, to me, does not seem to be the argument. The argument is they committed an act of war and aggression against people. That's. The argument ends there. Now, is the response proportionate? Not exactly. Not exactly, but that's the argument. They committed an act of violent aggression and war. It's true. The argument is not, this bitch has got a Birkin, and this one's got a Rolex and this one's got a fucking Hermes scarf. That's not it. That's not it. The argument is not, Putin's cronies have big, Has a dash and Sochi. It's not the argument. It's not the argument. Dummy dummies. If you want to go to war with Russia, great. There's probably lots of reasons in your head you can justify going to war with any country and make it up. Iran. There's a big threat to America. It's Iran. This is the big thing that every IRA we got, we got to do something about Iran. What? What? Russia is more of a threat than Iran, and they're not a threat? Well, Iran says, death to America all the time. Everyone says death to everyone. It doesn't matter. What are they going to do? What is Iran going to do? Invade America? Is that what you see happening? Iran has just landed in Colorado. The slopes are closed. Like, can we get serious here? We have a dearth of serious people in the country. Can anyone be serious for minutes? I'm not asking for an hour. Minutes. She's got a Birkin bag. It's 32,000. Shouldn't they have built a water treatment facility instead of living in luxury? In, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they should have done it in Flint, Michigan. It's not the point. Don't go down this road. Boy, is that a bad road. Boy, is that not the road? Huh? Not the road? Well, Putin's friends have big houses because they get government contracts because it's corrupt. And they have big houses. Okay, but the 10 wealthiest counties in America are the ones clustered around D.C. huh? Why is that? We're different. Okay, I get it. It's a better account. We like it here better. I like it here better. I don't want to live in Russia. I don't want to live in Gaza. You got me. You got me. Intellectual giants. Who. Who would debate me? You've won, correct? I do not want to live. In fact, here's how much I don't like those countries. I don't want our military there. And I'm not even in it. I'm not even in the military. And I don't want them to go. Isn't that interesting how that works? Just because I don't like it. I don't like it so much. I don't want anyone going. Huh? Getting people to get pumped up about Iran is hilarious. It's like my favorite thing now is that it lies dormant in people, this need for this enemy and the war and everything. And so apparently after what we have, a few months of overdose deaths being down, now we need to go fight Iran. Sydney Sweeney says her pursuit of fame likely caused her parents divorce. You and me both, sister. The 27 year old actress speaking with Glamour as part of its Women of the Year. And by the way, can we get rid of that Woman of the year 2024 coverage detailed the difficult timeframe after her family relocated from Washington to be closer to Southern California. With her parents divorcing and going through bankruptcy filing in 2016, I knew I could never actually fail because I mean, on a very broad scale, my family did lose everything. They did get a divorce. Whether or not that was part of coming here, it definitely was a catalyst for it. So I knew I had to succeed in some capacity so that it wasn't for nothing. What, I mean, what is happening? She said they asked her questions such as, when are you going to come home and stop dragging your family to a hell ridden city? Correct about that. When are you going to stop breaking your family apart and wasting all their money and just go get a real job and have a real life? I don't understand. Is it. Wasn't she an adult when this happened?
Unknown
Yeah.
Tim Dillon
So why are they following her to California?
Unknown
Well, when she was really young, they were, they were driving her like 38 hour round trips from, from the Washington, Idaho border.
Tim Dillon
Why do I care about this? This is my problem. What, what publication is this your favorite? The Daily Mail. I do like them. I don't get it. I. Listen, Sydney. Sydney, let me speak directly to you. I want, I want you to hear this from me. I don't care about this. I know. I truly don't. I don't care about this. I feel bad for your parents and I don't think it's all you. I truly don't. I think there's other issues at play. But more importantly, I don't believe your work has risen to the level to justify their divorce at this point. I've enjoyed White Lotus. I think you did a great job on Euphoria, but it, it isn't the career that justifies the implosion of your family as of yet. So honey, from me to you, back to the drawing board, couple more films, let's grab some gold, let's get an Oscar, let's take it to the next level. If you're Going to say your career caused your parents divorce. Let's get something really under the belt. Let's put a few awards under the belt. No, keep going. Sydney, you yourself can get a Birkin Birken bag. We gotta get serious traditions.
Unknown
That's what the holidays are all about. Let's start a new tradition and save a little bit of money.
Tim Dillon
Okay.
Unknown
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Tim Dillon
You need it.
Unknown
It's for you.
Tim Dillon
Let's talk about this. A.B. fitch, CEO. Many of you don't realize this. I was a model for Abercrombie and Fitch for many years. And I don't talk about it because it is something from my past that is very dark. I was. This is what happened. I'll tell the story because, you know, I'll be vulnerable. I'll be vulnerable. I was attending Nassau Community College. I was in a car with these. This guy named Kenny, who's fat, this guy Buns, who got amazing weed. He didn't really talk. He kind of giggled. He had great weed. We don't know what he did. And this other kid, that was an Indian guy, I forget his name. And every day we would go to the mall and we would get high in the. In the parking garage, and then we would walk through the food court and eat ranch one chicken sandwiches or bourbon chicken, you know, Haagen Dazs. And can you. Can you get that up? Can you please make that bigger?
Unknown
This one?
Tim Dillon
Yes. Because that is a photo of me. That's a before and after photo of me. By the way, the left and then the right. Now, I was walking through the mall and the Abercrombie and Fitch person noticed me as I was eating a ranch one chicken and cheese. And they said, would you stand here naked outside the store? And I said, why? And they said, well, because we think it would help sell the clothes. And I did it. And I did it. And I was shot. The police shot me. They showed up and shot because it was a prank. I didn't realize what's going on. Now everyone's mad at Abercrombie and Fitch because they were sex drops. Sorry, I can't anymore. Do you realize, everyone, that we're just in a circle of stories? There's nothing. Nothing new. There's nothing new. It's sex company, sex trafficking, celebrity sex trafficking, fucking. You know, the in. Hamas has a Tiffany's broch on. Like it's. There's. There's nothing new in the news. Kamala does a town hall where they ask her, a three year old, to ask her questions that have to be, you know, vetted first. Like it's a circle. There's nothing new here. So what is this? 80 year old? He's so happy. Look how happy he is. He made it. Look at how, by the way, look at how happy this man is. That is not an argument for doing the right thing, is it? Can you fill us in here? What did he do? He trafficked every day.
Unknown
So he was doing the casting couch. He was.
Tim Dillon
Yes, of course.
Unknown
Having parties under the pretense of that they were model castings, and then they were having sex with them, and they were young men. It was all power dynamic.
Tim Dillon
Yeah.
Unknown
He's got shorts on.
Tim Dillon
Yes. A.B. fitch. Wasn't there a documentary about Abercrombie and Fitch that kind of hinted at this, but it didn't fully. It didn't fully go into it. Yeah.
Unknown
The Dark side of cool.
Tim Dillon
Can we play the trailer to the Dark side of Cool? AB Fitch was like the cool brand in, what, the early 2000s, 2005.
Unknown
Yeah.
Tim Dillon
I never had a lot of Abercrombie and Fitch clothing, but the cool kids did. I got cool later on in high school. I was wearing Jenkos, and that was, you know, part of the aesthetic. So let's watch the trailer here. To the Dark side of Cool. Abercrombie and Fitch. I hope no one in Hamas is wearing Abercrombie and Fitch. It's too expensive.
Unknown
I was escorted to the front doors of the bedroom. When I entered that room, the door was closed behind me. My feeling of being in that room was an animal. I was not a human to any of these people. I was a body. I was being presented to someone to do what they wanted with.
Tim Dillon
I'm not trying to defend Abercrombie and Fitch. I'm not trying to defend Abercrombie and Fitch here, but, like, I. Unless this is brutal rape, I don't care. I'm gonna tell you, right, if this is Hawkeyes being mad that they had to stand around their underwear, I don't care. This has gotta be brutal rape. Brutal rape. This has gotta be Hamas tunnel rape or I don't care. I'm hoping it builds, because if it's just I felt like an object and I was hot, I'm a little tired of hot people not being happy with it and then lashing out at everyone else that they're being treated like object. You're an object. That's what you are, an object. I'm not saying that you have to be objectified. Do. You don't have to. Here's great ways to not be objectified. Don't go outside. Don't get any of the benefits from being hot. Um, but I'm just saying, like, I, I. I am very upset if this is our word and it's not, or even sexual assault, the grabbing, no good. But if this is like, one of these, like, I'm mad that people th Thought I was hot. I'm gonna lose my mind. This has to be Hamas tunnel. R word go.
Unknown
What happened to me changed my life.
Tim Dillon
What happened?
Unknown
And not for the better.
Tim Dillon
What happened? Los Angeles.
Unknown
I'm a journalist with a BBC and I've been carrying out some research.
Tim Dillon
Hello, models. Was you raped by Abercrombie and F investigating.
Unknown
I'm from the BBC fashion industry.
Tim Dillon
Did anybody try to rape you? Did you know the lady in Hamas has a Birkin they could destroy? I don't have a Birkin. We all knew that at the heart.
Unknown
Of the secret Hamas, Merckx works much.
Tim Dillon
Harder than the BBC. Keep going, please.
Unknown
The man, the man behind one of the biggest fashion brands in the world.
It's probably the darkest experience I've ever dealt with.
He was viewed as a form of genius.
The modern day founder of Abercrombie and Fitch, Mike Jeffries, the head of a.
Tim Dillon
Very powerful, very wealthy organization.
Unknown
My investigation has taken me across the US by the time the men would have arrived, where were they going to go? I mean, how easy could it have been to have left? Speaking to men who say they were exploited and abused.
Tim Dillon
Yes.
Unknown
Are you rolling?
Take one.
I think he's a deviant. I think he's a predator. And I don't think that's what the public has seen.
Tim Dillon
I was overwhelmed. Like, I mean, I've never seen anything like this. What I'd like to talk about about is being lied to, tricked and traded like a commodity.
Unknown
MeToo has empowered women to speak out about sexual abuse. Now these men say they want to be heard too.
I think it's rarely considered that men could be a victim of anything.
Tim Dillon
They face a double stigma. And I don't think think that men have quite had their MeToo movement. All right, well, hey, listen, that's the Abercrombie doc. Anyone being sexually assaulted, raped, exploited in any way is not ideal. And this gentleman here doesn't look, doesn't seem innocent, but he was arrested because they were doing very bad things, Right? This was not good. This was Epstein. Like they were trafficking people. Yeah.
Unknown
Put his parties all over the world.
Tim Dillon
Parties all over the world, trafficking people. There's no one under. I'm just asking a question. And again, I'm just. Let's say I'm the defense attorney. Do you not understand? You're getting on a plane, you're going somewhere. Like, do you not understand what's about to happen? I guess not. Because maybe you think you're modeling for A.B. fitch. Maybe they're just not being honest with you, they're lying to you. They're going, come here to this model party and be a model. And then you get there and you're like, it's actually an orgy. That's probably what's happening.
Unknown
Yeah.
Tim Dillon
And that's wrong. That's not good here. Let's read some of this article here. Where is he? Palm Beach.
Unknown
Yeah, yeah. He posted $10 million bond too. Yeah. Yeah. He walked out without a care in the world.
Tim Dillon
80 year old accuser is accused of wielding power, wealth and influence to traffic male models for sexual pleasure across more than a decade while he ran the fashion powerhouse, According to the U.S. attorney's office for the Eastern District of New York. I think we just get rid of fashion, to be honest. Let's get enough of that. Get rid of this modeling thing. John Luke Brunel was Epstein's guy. Was. He was into the models. It's all the models. It's all the models are always getting tra. You know who's not getting trafficked? My friends who work at pizzerias and bars. They're not getting trafficked. Let's cut out the modeling. How about that? Yeah, this is all very gross stuff that unfortunately people had to endure. And we try not to make light of it, of course, even though we just did for several minutes. And we'll continue to throughout the rest of the episode and then also for the rest of the weeks, months and years and I'm on the air. But this is also a disclaimer to say that we don't agree with any of the behavior by any of the people involved in Abercrombie and Fitch. The CEO, the CFO, or any of the handlers, the people who recruit. I just, you know, I'm a little bored of it. And I don't. And I'm not trying to shit on anyone here. I'm just a little. Every other week it's this. Everyone's apparently trafficked. I'm the only one in the country hasn't been trafficked, by the way. Everyone's been trafficked five times and I'm a little bored. And I'm not denying these men and their experiences and I'm not denying their justice. I am saying that it is. I feel like every week I have to react to the same five stories. And it's like a documentary from some 90s show we all watch. And it's like these kids were kept in a cage. They were fed like dogs. And you're like, God damn it. Clarissa explains it all. Well, explain this Explain the rape. And I'm like, can we please not ever? You know, boy meets world, boy meets rape. And it's just, I'm just, I'm not, I'm, I'm upset. I don't like it. Put him in jail. Throw away the key. I'm just saying as a broadcaster, it is, it is the constant, the constant here. What about dxl, the fat store? What about. Are they trafficking anyone or they're trafficking people? What about the Get DXL up to fat store. Go to dxl.com. what if I was trafficked by DXL? There it is. Get that up. They're getting trafficked. Who's trafficking them? The fit you deserve. Damn right. What a. What a sad logo, huh? The fit you deserve. What about them? Are they not being trafficked? Why don't we look into that? We look into the DXL fat store trafficking. I was brought into the back room. I felt like an object. I do. I did see DJ Khaled once at Rochester Big and Tall in Beverly Hills, which they closed out. Rochester Big and Tall was the high end dxl and then they closed it down. That closed down legal US betting markets on things like the election or on anything.
Unknown
Kalshi, go to college dot com. This is it, folks. I'm telling you, you don't know what's going to happen. Who's going to win by how much. Will we have the results that night? Make up your own markets and bet.
Tim Dillon
Come up with your own predictions, set.
Unknown
Up betting markets or participate in other people's betting markets. You can these predictions. Do you think you know who will win the presidential election or how many seats the Democrats or Republicans will win in the House or Senate? Well, there's finally a legal way to bet on the outcome of these elections with a platform called Kalshi. It's a first legal exchange where you can bet on any event, including but not limited to elections. Kalshee went to court and won legal approval for election betting. For the first time in 100 years, they have markets on who will win, who will control the House and Senate, who will win, swing states and more. Kalashi is already being used by hundreds of thousands of people and facilitated over $1 billion worth of trades. Let's take an example. Right now, Trump and Kamala are trading at about 50, 50, meaning if you place a bet on either, you will double your money if they end up winning.
Tim Dillon
Hey, pretty good.
Unknown
So these are legal betting markets. The only company you can legally bet on the future outcomes of events in the United States of America. I'm telling you, go to college.comk a l s h I.com Tim okay, the first 500 traders who deposit $100 will get a free twenty dollar credit. Khalshee.comt I m this is a great way to really test your knowledge. I make predictions a lot of times. Sometimes they come true. I like to watch culture very closely. I'm sure that you guys do too. You're smart. You get it. Go to kalshee.comkalsi.com Tim Election day is coming up on November 5th. 30% of registered voters don't turn out to vote and only 23% of people under 30 voted in the last election. There's a Website send the vote.org Tim that makes registering to vote easy. It's nonpartisan. I would vote but I'm in jail. Currently it's nonpartisan, meaning they don't care who you're voting for. They just want to ensure you can vote. Head over to send the vote.org Tim and they'll help you sign up register check if you're all set. You can also text TM to 330-223-3022 to learn more. That's Tim to 33022 don't be another no show statistic. Voting is so important. I haven't done it in two election cycles. I don't know where I'm registered and frankly, we fight with the IRS all the time about where I actually live. I live in the Principality of Monaco. It's the French protectorate and I don't think I can vote for the US President from the French protectorate.
Tim Dillon
My business is based in Dubai as.
Unknown
Well, so it's interesting.
Tim Dillon
So don't be me.
Unknown
Be the guy who votes.
Tim Dillon
Thank you. California Principal Demoted after Inappropriate Dance at pep Rally let's see this. Can we get a video of this dance?
Unknown
Oh yeah.
Tim Dillon
I don't think there are enough employees where we have to keep firing everyone. We're losing our best teachers to inappropriate dances, drug use and relationships with students.
Unknown
The principal at Buhac Colony High School in Atwater was placed on administrative leave Monday after this video sent to us by ABC30 Insider Ryan Atterberry went viral. The video shows Principal Robert N. Dancing with the school's mascot. He's initially seated in a chair as the mascot dances in front of him. Then N is seen firing a confetti cannon before trading places with the mascot.
Tim Dillon
Many are calling the day like he came. Who wants to be principal of that School. Where is that school?
Unknown
Big Fresno area.
Tim Dillon
Yeah, it's a dump. No one wants to do that job. Of course he's a deviant. I mean, who wants to do that?
Unknown
So Fresno kids should see this.
Tim Dillon
Listen, I'm not saying Fresno kids. If you think Fresno kids haven't seen worse than this, you're out of your mind. If you think Fresno kids have a shot on this planet, you are out of your mind. And I don't mean to be negative, but every one of those kids, it's going to be a nightmare for all of those children, regardless of what the principal did. Fresno kids, that principal lap dance where he fake comes with the cannon is going to be the high point of these people's lives. It's going to get much worse. Well, I mean, it's clearly inappropriate. Is it inappropriate enough where he should not be allowed to be a principal of this failing school? I don't know. You know, that's the real question, right? The real question is, like, should he be allowed to get his job back? And a high school principal in Atwater? He moves to lower position. Moves to lower position.
Unknown
So they just made him assistant principal instead.
Tim Dillon
So he's only. He's the assistant principal.
Unknown
Yeah.
Tim Dillon
Yeah. What are they going to do? You know who's now the principal? The guy was the janitor. They don't care. It's Fresno. He's associate principal.
Unknown
Yeah.
Tim Dillon
Okay. This is like when Putin stepped down, he brought in Medvedev. Like, you know, I mean, this isn't anything. I'm Grey's Anatomy writer. Faked cancer in multiple tragedies. Good for her. No problem with that. Elizabeth Finch. I don't care. I don't care at all that she lied. It's a corrupt business, Hollywood, and there's a lot of liars. Good for her. I don't care. She faked cancer. I mean, that. That's. There's a whole plot of a show with our friend Ryan Philippe and Megan Mullally and some. And really Vanessa Bear. Very funny. I forget what it's called. It's about qvc. It's really, really good. And I saw it and I enjoyed it. And the whole point of it is somebody who fakes cancer to get a job at a qvc. I love that for you. TV series. A lot of fun. I think it was one season.
Unknown
Yeah.
Tim Dillon
I don't think they're doing anything more. But I tell you, I enjoyed it. I thought it was funny. I thought it was really, really, really. I may rewatch it. I actually thought she's hilarious, by the way. I thought it was very funny. And that's the whole premise of the show is that she faked cancer to get the job and then everybody found out. And I think it's very funny. And I like that it happens in real life. I like that people lie about things like that. And I like that they get ahead for it. Because guess what? The people at Grey's Anatomy don't deserve better. The executives at Grey's Anatomy do not deserve better. Okay? They don't deserve better than to be lied to by this. My friend changed her name to Rodriguez to just get work because she's not. She wanted to be his. Pretend she's Hispanic. Not a Hispanic bone in her body. She just said, my name's Rodriguez now you want to get woke. My name's Rodriguez. And it kind of worked. So whatever. Gaddafi's grandson poses with his famous green book. But people are confused. He's a steampunk. Let's get this photo of Muammar Gaddafi's grandson. I mean, oh boy. I mean, here's the thing. You just can't. You never know which way the kids are going. You just don't know which way the kids are going. You can do everything for your kids and it can turn out this way. You know, thank God Ismail Hania's family was martyred because can you imagine that leader of Hamas who a few years, he's got the kids in a. In a Burning man costume. She's got a Birkin bag. They're not buying food for people, they're buying Birkin bags. And they're staying in nice hotels. And do I look. How dumb do we all look? They have houses on the beach. They've given up on the citizens. They're just trading amongst themselves. They're building wealth amongst themselves and they've given up on the infrastructure of the country. These people are uniquely evil. They stay in nice hotels, they have Birken bags, and yet no one has healthcare or food. Interesting. They are different. I don't know anymore. Sydney Sweeney. Enough. I've had enough. I'm so excited. People don't realize part of the decline of the American empire, the decline of Hollywood and the inability to craft a narrative and shape public opinion. The Internet moves so quickly and the inability of Hollywood to act as the myth making capital of America is going to have a big effect going forward. It's going to be interesting. It's one of the effects, I think people really don't talk about when they talk about the decline of the Traditional distribution methods, film, tv, things like that, very controlled, tightly controlled distribution methods for the art and content, whatever that we made. And a lot of that was incredibly instrumental with crafting the narratives that people in this country believed about major events, war and peace, about economic realities, all of that stuff, the inability to do that and the fact that it has now been replaced by algorithms, by social media apps, by, you know, DIY content that's uploaded, you know, millions of hours of it every, you know, every hour and all that stuff and the inability to control it is going to be one of the least talked about but most important results of the decline of the traditional power structures in Hollywood. You're not going to be able to as easily tell people what to think about something, you know, that's going to be interesting. There's going to be seven documentaries made on YouTube before you make this movie that no one watches about the thing. You're going to make the movie that no one watches about said event. There's going to be multiple document. And I'm not saying those, the, I'm not claiming to know the veracity of those documentaries. They could all be crazy people. I don't know. I'm just saying that that tightly controlled, top down narrative sculpting that Hollywood did since its inception has now and is completely in tatters. People do not watch, young people do not care. This is not where they're getting their information. Look at across the board podcasts have become incredibly influential in terms of the dissemination of information. More people are being entertained on TikTok and YouTube than going to movies. It's not even close. It's not even close. A lot of people are getting information from alternate sources. So, you know, Hollywood is not going to be, it's not in that business anymore. So it's very interesting that that's one of the. People don't really talk about that. People don't really discuss that side of it because they don't really want to admit that that's been what's going on. They don't want to say that. They don't want to be like, well, another interesting thing is how are we going to lie to you people anymore that that's not what they want to say. But just zooming out, you go, huh, that is, that is kind of an interesting. Kamala mentions Jimmy Carter's public appearance as why everyone can vote. VP Harris says if Jimmy Carter can vote, you can too. Cause Jimmy Carter very old man. Now wait a minute, what is the video under her playing?
Unknown
So this was the Carter. Jimmy Carter being wheeled out after his 100th birthday.
Tim Dillon
No, that's not Jimmy Carter.
Unknown
No. Here, I'll show you the. The full one. It's really. It's cra. Kind of crazy. He shouldn't be outside.
Tim Dillon
Yeah, but what is that? What was the one under. That was just some random.
Unknown
No, it was. This is him. So this is Jimmy Carter A couple weeks ago they wheeled him out in Georgia.
Tim Dillon
It looks fine.
Unknown
Take it.
Tim Dillon
He's having a nice day. He's voting. Yeah, he's voting.
Unknown
That's.
Tim Dillon
So there are argument is that he's voted. Someone's going to vote for him. No.
Unknown
Well, his. His grandson said that he was excited to vote. He said, I'm. I'm excited, but more excited to vote for Kamala in November.
Tim Dillon
He doesn't seem to be excited for much, and I think that's a lie. I think his grandson's lying, and I don't think he's excited to vote for much. Let's play this. So look, if Jimmy Carter can vote early, you can too. You can do. Oh, my God. That's the demo right there for her. That old. That. That old guy sitting there. I just. I don't understand. Poor Jimmy Carter. I don't understand why. Enthusiast. He's enthusiastic about much. He doesn't seem to be excited about much. He seems to be. He's slowed down a bit. Can we say that? He seems to have slowed down a bit. Not his. Not his old self, but I'm glad he's excited. Let's go to the polls. Go to the poll. The election is near. The election is. Neil. Go to the rcp. Real Clear Politics averages. Let's see where everybody stands. It's election day in America. Rcp, read out the polls. Where are we? Trump is ahead in every poll.
Unknown
Whoa. Yeah. RCP, Trump, 219. HARRIS 215. Toss ups.
Tim Dillon
104.
Unknown
312. 226 in the no toss up stage.
Tim Dillon
Go up to the. Go up to the battleground polls. Trump is ahead in every single battleground poll. Wow. Interesting. Ahead at every single one. Well, they did a great job with her. I think they did a great job with her campaign. I think I like that it didn't have a message or a policy. And I said that months ago when she came out. There was not one policy they focused on. There was no Obamacare. There was no, like, I'm running because I want healthcare. I'm running to build a wall. I'm running for that. It was not it was vibes, it was fun. It was. I love you, you love me. History. We're making history. Um, now, this doesn't mean she will necessarily lose, but I would not. I mean, she's, I mean, you know, she's behind in every poll. It's not great.
Unknown
That's what it appears.
Tim Dillon
So, yeah, according to the good people at rcp. But I mean, a lot of them are within the margin of error. To be fair, all of them are almost in the margin of error, right? Yes, but he is up in every single one.
Unknown
Yep.
Tim Dillon
Yeah, well, interesting. We'll follow it closely. We'll do the reporting. We're doing the reporting by looking at polls for several seconds, not verifying them and telling you what they are on YouTube. We're doing the reporting. I'm more interested in what kind of Birkin had. Bitch in the tunnel had. That's the real story. Um, Tim Dillon, comedy.com. if you are looking to see me live, let me read out the dates. Orlando, Chicago, Illinois. We've added a second show at Des Plaines, Illinois at the Rivers Casino. The good people there. Miami, after that, Austin, Texas, sold out. But you never know, you can maybe grab something. We might add something. The good people of Oxnard in early December. A hell, a hell, a hell of hell. Irvine Improv. I will see you for the new year. As always, ringing in the new year at the Irvine Improv or the Brea Improv. Every year I say I won't do it and every year I do it. It gets so drunk where there's a point in the show where I go, I don't care if you talk, just please stay in your seat. And then omaha sometime later. Timdylancomedy.com if you want tickets to any of those shows, we do appreciate it. And listen, if you want, I will send your job resume in that Hamas wife's Yaya Sinwar's wife's Birkin bag with rubble in it. And I will send it and then they can pull your resume out of the rubble in her Birkin bag. I think it makes a lot nicer of a statement than Pizza Hut. Goodbye.
Unknown
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Host: The Tim Dillon Show
Episode Title: Pizza Hut & Birkin Bags
Description: Tim Dillon, comedian and tour guide, navigates his listeners through apocalyptic visions, sharp social commentary, and witty critiques, all from his Los Angeles porch. In this episode, Dillon tackles a range of topics from the economy's impact on drug overdose rates to the absurdity of corporate initiatives and geopolitical tensions.
Tim Dillon opens the episode by addressing the concerning decline in national drug overdose deaths. Contrary to initial interpretations by public health officials, Dillon posits that this decrease is a dire indicator of the struggling economy rather than a positive health trend.
Dillon sarcastically suggests that if he were running for president, his primary goal would be to ensure that people have just enough money to afford the drugs necessary to sustain their addiction, highlighting the grim economic realities.
Transitioning from domestic issues, Dillon delves into the complex geopolitical landscape involving Iran, Saudi Arabia, and China. He critiques the rapprochement between Iran and Saudi Arabia, mediated by China, questioning the sincerity and future implications of such alliances.
Dillon emphasizes China's pragmatic approach to international relations, contrasting it with the often one-dimensional portrayal in Western media. He acknowledges China's contributions to global development, such as building schools in Africa, while not overlooking its darker aspects.
Dillon pivots to a satirical take on Pizza Hut's unconventional job-seeking strategy—printing resumes on pizza boxes. He mocks the practicality and effectiveness of such an initiative, painting a bleak picture of job seekers' desperation.
Through vivid imagery, Dillon illustrates the futility of attempting to secure employment through a messy and unprofessional medium, underscoring the depth of economic despair.
In a contentious segment, Dillon examines the criticism directed at Hamas for the extravagant spending of its leaders' families, specifically focusing on the acquisition of high-end Birkin bags amidst regional conflict.
Dillon challenges the moral outrage over luxury purchases by leaders' spouses within terrorist organizations, arguing that the same scrutiny could be applied universally, thus diluting the focus from the core issues of aggression and conflict.
Expanding on corruption themes, Dillon draws parallels between the financial misconduct within Hamas and the widespread corruption observed among Russia's political elite, including references to Alexei Navalny's anti-corruption efforts.
He criticizes the selective outrage towards certain groups while pointing out that corruption is a universal issue, affecting various global powers without consistent condemnation.
Dillon shares a personal story from his time modeling for Abercrombie & Fitch, highlighting unethical practices and the predatory nature of the modeling industry.
He condemns the exploitation and abuse he witnessed, drawing parallels to other high-profile cases of sexual trafficking and emphasizing the need for accountability within the fashion industry.
Dillon addresses a viral incident involving a high school principal who engaged in inappropriate dancing at a school event. He uses this example to criticize the declining standards and ethical breaches within educational leadership.
Through humor and hyperbole, he underscores the problematic nature of such behavior, questioning the suitability of individuals in positions of authority when they display unprofessional conduct.
In a broader cultural analysis, Dillon explores the erosion of Hollywood's traditional role in shaping public narratives. He attributes this decline to the rise of social media, podcasts, and decentralized content creation, which dilute the influence of major studios and broadcasters.
He reflects on the implications of this shift, suggesting that the fragmentation of information sources leads to a less unified and more chaotic public discourse.
Closing the main content, Dillon discusses the polling data for the upcoming election, highlighting Trump's lead over Harris in battleground states. He critiques the polling methodologies and entertains doubts about their accuracy.
He expresses skepticism about the reliability of polls and the media's portrayal of political dynamics, maintaining a cynical view of the electoral process.
Throughout this episode, Tim Dillon masterfully weaves humor with sharp social and political commentary. From critiquing corporate gimmicks like Pizza Hut's resume initiative to dissecting geopolitical tensions and exposing corruption within elite circles, Dillon offers a multifaceted critique of contemporary societal issues. His ability to blend personal anecdotes with broader analyses provides listeners with both entertainment and insightful perspectives on the state of the world.
Note: The transcript provided included segments of advertisements and non-content sections, which have been omitted from this summary to focus solely on the substantive discussions and insights presented by Tim Dillon.