Tim Dillon (0:00)

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show. We are here from the Sirius XM studio at the Wynn Hotel in Las Vegas. We have been displaced. I am a refugee of the wildfires of California, along with many other people that are suffering, that need your help. I need your help. I need funding. I am not a sympathetic figure in many of your minds, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that I'm already rich. I want your money. I've had a tragedy in my life. It doesn't matter that I sold my house a year ago. It doesn't matter because when people text me and go, what's going on with your house? I say, I don't know. I say, nobody knows. It's a tragedy and we're all scared. I'm not going to ruin. Now, I did sell my house a year ago because there was a lot of mudslides. I didn't know this was coming. I'm not Nostradamus, but I sold my house. But I'm not going to tell people that, by the way. And if that makes me a sociopath, fine. I'm not telling you that if I check into a hotel, I'm not telling you I sold my house. If you ask me, how are things going? I will look down and I will say, we don't know. I don't know what's happening. I invent a family. I say, I don't know where they are. We lost contact. We lost touch. I had to get my Rolls Royce out of L. A. I don't know where the wife and kids are. I hope they're fine. They're not responding. People are texting me. I have not spoken to in a year. How's your house? What am I going to say, I sold it? And then immediately lose their goodwill? No, I'm giving them the experience they want to have. I say, I don't know. No one knows. I'm texting neighbors. We're watching the ring cam. The ring cam cut off. Could mean anything. We don't know. Could have gotten hit by an ember. I left two days before the fire. It doesn't matter. I was. I said it was an evacuation. I waited. I wanted to be responsible. I didn't want to clog the highway with my gas guzzling suv. I waited. I didn't leave Tuesday afternoon. Of course I did. You know why? I'm not an idiot. Stop checking on me. Going, how are you? What do you think I'm an idiot? You think I'm waiting for the government evacuation? You think I'm waiting for the government of Los Angeles to tell me to not die? No. I leave immediately. I saw a fire and I left. I left because I'm not an idiot. All my other friends are like, are you in the evacuation zone? I said, get in your car and leave. You're rich, you idiot. There's terrible stuff going on. I get it. Families have lost homes. Tons of innocent people are affected. More in Aladena than the Palisades, let's be honest. But, and I, I, a lot of people I know and I'm friends with live in the Palisades. So I, I, let's just say that I, I feel terrible for the people of Altadena. I think we should donate a lot of money to the people of Altadena. I believe the people of Altadena need help. Truly, for real. As for the Palisades, I, I listen, it's rough. It's rough. I like that little outdoor mall there that they had with the blue ribbon sushi, you know, and that McConnell's, McConnell's ice cream with that Santa Barbara strawberry is flavor they have, which is good. But the strawberries really picked an Oxnard. But they don't want to say that. Nobody picks strawberries in Santa Barbara. They pick them in Oxnard, but that's not the name of the flavor. The point is, I feel bad for the people in the Palisades as well. It is not fun to lose a fifth of your real estate portfolio. It actually sucks. Sucks, sucks, sucks. If you had something, you lose a fifth of it. Sucks. That's not good. It's sad. It's unfortunate. People I know in the Palisades are hurting. They're hurting. I went to the Montage in Laguna Beach Tuesday night immediately. I said, I want one of the Sundays. The woman goes, they don't make them on the late night menu. I said, oh, that's funny. My house burned down. She then gave me a Sunday and I went to pay her. She said, it's free. I said, thank you, folks. I don't care. I'm getting my beak wet. I'm going to get my beak wet. I'm going to get my beak wet here. You think I've paid enough taxes into this shithole that I am going to reap the benefits of the sympathy that I'm kind of getting? That might not be correct. If you haven't spoken to me in a year and you're texting me about my house, I'm not going to be honest with you. You don't deserve it. We're not friends. I've been honest with my friends. They knew I sold my house. If you've not spoken to me in a year, I'm telling you, I don't know what's going on with my house. It's probably on fire and I've lost everything. It doesn't matter. I want you to be sad. I want you to send me. Oh, my God, I can't believe this. And I. And I don't want to make. It's not a class thing with the Palisades there. The reason that I. I feel a little less bad for them is not because they're rich. It's not because they're rich. It's because I. I, like, know them. That's all. I've had, like, experiences with them, like, in life. It's not just a monetary thing. I don't mind that. Beverly Hills, I'd be crying. I'd be crying. We're recording this on Sunday. If this fire rolls through Brentwood and then Bel Air and Beverly Hills, I And the cities may be toast. We don't know. There's arsonists running around, setting fires all over the place. They're arresting them one by one. They're trying to. They let one guy out, and I think some of them might be genuinely homeless. But by the way, if you were a terrorist group maybe being funded by a foreign country or not, wouldn't you disguise cells as homeless people? Because in LA there are so many homeless people. If you wanted to blend in in la, you'd just be homeless. So if I'm a foreign country and, and I'm talking to my terrorist cells and I go, guys, in order to blend into this society, you must on the street and be homeless. And no one. And they're going to go, wait a minute, won't that. Isn't that a tell? We get arrested immediately. Won't that give us away? I go, no, no, no, no, no. You're the safest people in the town. Sleep on someone's lawn, piss on yourself, shit on the street. No one will even say anything. You will not. You will not be stopped by the police. In fact, if people call the police and say, a man is shitting on my lawn, the police hang up the phone. They don't care. There's nothing for them to do. So if you're going to assimilate into Los Angeles society, you must be homeless. So I can't quite say if this is an organized terrorist attack, by the way, it's brilliant. It's brilliant. This is our one weakness. No one would even say anything about a homeless guy with a gas can. These dumb cunts in the Palisades, if they saw a homeless man with a gas can, they go, he's just having some fun. He's probably trying to warm himself up because they're so. Their brains have been rotted. Their brains. It's the same reason they're all being relentlessly positive right now saying, this is going to be fine. It's going to be fine. Entire swaths of the city are gone. There was no water in the fucking hydrants. Nobody cleared any of this brush. They didn't do any controlled burns. They didn't prepare any of these areas with high forestation, any of this shit. None of it was done. We didn't want to upset a fish. Some tribal elder was like, we. This fish can't go extinct. The Pacific Palisades Reservoir was offline when the fires arrived. We were completely, woefully unprepared for this. The mayor was in Africa. The governor has gotten the vineyard he lives in or whatever the hell he's doing. So the government completely bungled the response to this. It is. It is. It was a crazy high wind day. It could get worse. And now it's probably one of the fires we know or one or two of the fires was definitely arson. And if it's arson and it's homeless people, it's either homeless people that are just crazy and lighting fires, which is absolutely possible, or somebody saying, blend in as a homeless person. They won't notice, they won't care. It will be like any other day. There what we know about the arrests made for this arsonist. Okay? The man has been arrested on a felony probation violation, but no further details were given at the press conference. The investigation is ongoing. I'm going to read you a text that I got from Eli Roth, who's a director. He directed the show, the movie Thanksgiving that I was in. He said this. 4pm on Wednesday on Outpost Drive, a homeless man poured gasoline down the sewer grate and lit it on fire. By total coincidence, someone from the gas company saw him do this and called the fire department. They put it out. The neighbors were all saying, what kind of mentally disturbed person would do this? What kind of homeless person walks around with a can of gasoline lighting fires? You just don't go back to the park and shoot up after that. Then two hours later, out of nowhere, with no burning embers near us, Runyon goes up. We watch it from our bedroom window a little Smoke, and then five minutes later, the whole hill on fire. So these are people I know, real people witnessing this behavior. Homeless man with flamethrower busted on suspicion of arson near L, A s Kenneth fire after residents detain him. Let's watch a little bit of this because it may become clear and we don't know yet. I'm speculating, I don't know anything. It may become clear this is a coordinated attack, it may not be. It may be a series of random psychos taking advantage of the weather conditions. It may be cells, terrorist cells that have embedded themselves in the country, People that posed as refugees or posed as homeless people. I don't know. These are all possibilities. They're all on the table. Could be a massive failure of a power company that's trying to cover it up. I don't know. Let's, let's, let, let's take a look at this here. What is this? This is a homeless guy, do we have volume on this or no? No. Is this the guy that was caught with the 5DE, with the 5 cell phones? Do we know that? Can we look that up and see if that's true or not? That guy doesn't look that homeless, by the way. I don't know how homeless that guy is, but he doesn't look that. Homeless people in LA have to wake up a little bit. They have to wake up a little bit because it's not apparent what's going on. What is, what we do know is that a tremendous amount of the city has. We're having Adam Carolla on very soon. He's lived in LA forever and he has thoughts on this as well as to why this is happening the way it is happening. And I'm not, I'm not claiming that this is that we know. They said the Palisades fire started in a house, and it's probably correct. High winds knock down power, you know, knocked out poles and everything. So the thing about it, this is the issue. I was in New York during 9, 11, I was a kid. I was in 11th grade in high school. But New York, there's Grit, Louisiana. This is going to be tough. This is not a city of. That's not what LA is about. LA is not about tragedy. It's about pretending tragedy doesn't happen. It's about sunshine, it's about casual conversations in a coffee shop, it's about being passive aggressive, it's about, you know, kind of internalizing the loneliness of living in this mountainous region out where these fires started. The, the highlands of the Palisades and Malibu. It's like Jurassic Park. People shouldn't live there. It's a little unreasonable to say I want to live in a forest on top of a mountain overlooking the ocean, but I also want it to be a desert with no rain and get perfect weather every day. It's unreasonable. LA is where Hollywood started. Eastern European Jews from New York went to LA to start the movie business. And whether you hate LA or love la, realize that the movies and the music that America's churned out is the only reason we're not completely hated the world over. Really, Truly. I mean, the goodwill that a Tommy boy or an anchorman or something like that bought us. You. You can't even quantify Motown things that Elvis Presley. I mean, I know Motown's not in la, but, you know, Capitol Records was the idea. And I'm not saying it's not. Wasn't terrible and it wasn't, you know, you know, rapists and pedophiles and all that. There was a ton of that. But the actual product, the cinema, the music, is one of the reasons that America has some goodwill in the world. Because we would bomb all these countries, but then they would, like, watch, you know, you know, the Marx Brothers and go, this is kind of good. So at the end of the day, even if you hate LA or find the people there to be vapid, fake, you know, annoying, it. It serves a very integral purpose and has. If you look at the history of America, the. The movies, the music, the stories that were told, and yes, some of them were absolutely propaganda. We were heavily propagandized and Hollywood was a big part of that. But then there was also just really, really good shit. Really funny, great stuff, great dramatic stuff. We don't make it anymore. That's part of the problem. We don't make it anymore. It hasn't been good for a while. In mass, there are good things here and there, but in mass, it hasn't been good for a while. When Hollywood became an engine of social justice or whatever you want to call it, when they started getting really annoying, when they became like a mom, like an annoying moment, and they started lecturing people, everybody said, we, we don't like this. It's like, you know, your friend's dad that, you know, cheats on his wife all the time. He's fun at the barbecues, but just don't lecture us when you catch us with cigarettes. You're cheating on your wife all the time, and we know it and it's damaging your son, but you are cool and you do have a boat and we like that. But don't. If you catch us with cigarette, don't lecture us. You're a philandering scumbag, but you have a boat and you let us throw parties in your yard. There has to be that guy. That's what la. It's a scumbag parrot. My friends had that. I loved it. We. You need it. You need a rich scumbag parent who lets you have the party in their yard. That's la. Now, yes, the party can get out of control and a kid dies or whatever, and then it's not good. But for the most part, you need that scumbag parent. Look at this. If you didn't know better and I showed you this man's face, you would say, that's the scumbag parent. But the problem is this guy who's still cheating on his wife and is still a scumbag, said, no more parties in the yard because. Because we don't want to use the grill because of the emissions standards. And you go, hey, scumbag, that's not what this is. So that's the issue. Everyone started hating LA when LA started telling everyone how to fucking live. That's not what it's there to do. It's not there. It's there to just entertain you and make you happy for a few brief moments in this crazy existence we all have. It's not there to tell you how to live because LA is irrational. It's unreasonable. It's people that all come there because they want something that is, is, is often unattainable. For most of them, it's unattainable. They go, I want to be famous. Well, it's not attainable. You don't have the talent or the work ethic or the luck or the connections or the looks or the drive. You're unwilling to make the sacrifices, whatever, I don't know. But those people then stay in L. A and they have to just, they, they, they, they become this relentlessly positive. Like they're talking about manifesting and a lot of meditations, health and its green juices and its wellness. Because the underlying unfulfillment, the deep chasm of unfulfillment in their lives has to be filled up with something. So they think if they live forever, then maybe, well, maybe down the road someone will realize how talented I am. They won't. You're not enough. But I, I get it. It serves a purpose. It catches a lot of, and rightly so, the people in la, you Know, as a guy from the east coast, it's strange to me. It's strange. They're odd, they're different. You know, the whites more. The Mexicans are cool, but the white people are, you know, they feel cult like a little bit, you know, and that's why this is going to be hard to see these people handling this because they have to like, stop with the positivity, you're on fire. Stop thinking you can manifest everything, manifest a new government. You're on fire. The green juice won't put out the fart. You have to get rational. You have to wake up. And it's not a city of people that have the ability to, to wake up. I'm talking to all of them. They're all in such another like, well, the cleanup might be done by the end of the year. It's still burning, you moron. Stop. This relentless positivity. It's going to get you killed. This positive garb, it's going to get you killed. These people are going to kill you. You have an incompetent government. They are letting people run around the city with gas cans lighting your homes on fire. At what point do you wake up? At what point do you say, you know, perhaps we should think about this? It's not rude of you to request that homeless people don't light you on fire. That's not an unreasonable request. It's not. It's not an unreasonable request that you would, you would say, you know, I just prefer to not be lit on fire. In a social media post on Saturday evening, Trump blamed California's leaders for the current situation. The fires were all raging in LA. The incompetent PaulS have no idea how to put them out. Thousands of magnificent houses are gone and many more will soon be lost. He wrote on Truth Social. They can't put out the fires. What's wrong with them? Earlier in the week, he criticized Gavin Newsom for refusing to sign the water restoration declaration put before him that would have allowed millions of gallons of water to put out the fire. This is a. Whether you hate Trump or love Trump, it's clearly a fuck up by the California government. They were not prepared for this. That doesn't mean that you can avoid every wildfire in a place that is a high wildfire risk. Newsom opposed that at the time. This is the water restoration bill, saying he wanted to protect, quote, highly imperiled fish species close to extinction. So I mean that this is where we're at here, this is behind me, is the result. I hope the fish is happy. Can we eat the fish? We're going to need to eat the fish soon because the grocery stores have burned. So I'm hoping that this extinct fish we protected is tasty and it can be fried up and thrown on a bun. And listen, the first responders need stuff and give it to them. You know, it is amazing that you And I'm not saying not to donate, obviously. Donate, obviously. But why, when you pay the highest taxes in America, does no one have anything? Why does no one have anything? Why are there no supplies? I'm not saying not to donate extra. But why is there no readiness with the highest taxes in America? Why does. Why does everybody, you know now go and donate the bottles of water and the protein bars and whatever? But I mean, there's. My house is burned down. My house burned down. That I worked hard for. My house burned and I cried in the street because it was everything I had besides the other three. The problem is this. When I watch that house burn down, that beautiful Spanish dial and it just burned down. And it. That smell of the char in my nose and then I go, can we speed the room service time up? Can we speed the time up? I'm not. My house burned down as a figure of speech. I will not stop using it. I'm going to use it. I'm not, not using it. My house burned down. It's the first thing I'm going to say to anyone I meet now. My house is. Is burnt down. It burned down. I am starting a gofundme for myself. I don't care if you don't think it's justified. I'm using a picture of a burnt down house and I'm starting to go fund me for myself because I want to go on a trip to Tokyo and I want you to pay for it. I feel bad for the people in the Palisades. Those zannied out cunts driving in their Range Rover didn't deserve this. They didn't deserve this. These drugged up women and their philandering husbands, writer, producers, agents, managers, whatever. They didn't deserve this. Their snowboarding retard children did not deserve this. Sorry, Luke. They should have their home. They deserve their home. Their little town that they think is nice with an erewhon. God damn it, get us to Palm Beach. God only likes Palm beach, but they like their little outdoor mall. And it's nice. You go to the little mall and you sit there and you'll be white with your fucking unironic cowboy hat that you have because you Think you're in a fucking west or you're in Yellowstone, okay? But you're not. Your husband's an accountant for Fox. You're not in Yellowstone, okay? But they like that little outdoor mall, and it's nice. They walk around there and they have coffee and they talk about who has cancer and whose kids are trans or whatever. That's their thing. And it was wrong. I think it's still there, actually, because Caruso, the billionaire who I supported, protected it. But they didn't deserve this. Yes, they're annoying. Yes, they were tweeting Black Lives Matter from a fucking, you know, mansion. It's annoying. It's annoying. They're annoying. They're annoying. But, but, but they didn't deserve this. Now, obviously the people in Altadena didn't deserve it. We all know that. And in the Hollywood Hills, well, it's a case by case. But the Palisades is this little basic bitch town of rich people, but not rich like most of the Palisades is like the working rich. It's not old money. It's nothing I would respect. It's not Palm beach, it's not Greenwich, not Manhattan. It's the Palisade. Oh, you produced, I don't know, Desperate Housewives. So you live in the Palisades. You got a eight and a half million dollar house. You got a $9 million house, okay, you got a wife and a psychiatrist and a kid in rehab or something, or living in New York trying to produce a rap. Whatever's going on. You're the working rich. You don't deserve this. You and your wife are divorced. You check on her every now and then, she checks on you. You live somewhere else now, maybe a 10,000, Santa Monica, licking your wounds and other things. But they don't deserve this. No one deserves their entire little town to burn. It's not right. It was a fun little town. It's a basic dumb little town with people that thought they had more money than they did. It was a fun little air wand to go. You get a nice little, little burrito in the morning or so. It was a fun little town. Those moms, they didn't deserve this. And I was at the Parker in Palm Springs with many of them, many of them. Some of them are telling me they're going to New York. You know, their families have five bedroom co ops on the Upper east side. They need to put the kids in school. They go, we got to get our kids in school. They're getting dumber by the day. That was a direct Quote, and as they were checking the hotel, they go, how many square. What's the square footage of the room? And the desk person, you know, because they're all flustered, the desk person goes, I think it's like 350. And one of the women goes, oh, is there anything bigger? Is there anything bigger? Oh, no, ma'am, we're, we're sorry. We've had a big influx of people coming in from la. Oh, there's no sweets or anything bigger. Oh, is there anything bigger? It doesn't mean that they deserved this. They didn't deserve it. And for all you fundamentalist Christians going, it's because the gays or whatever, that part of West Hollywood's fine. Most of the people of Palestine are straight. And if God was really mad at them, he wouldn't burn one of their six homes. They're going to be okay. But they don't deserve this. It's not right. I don't deserve it. I like taking that road. I like driving that road. It's a rich little retarded town. Let these people. What do you think happens when the rest of you scumbags make money? What do you think you're gonna do? You're gonna live in a dumb little town with a little fucking outdoor mall? It's the American dream. Gonna go to a bookstore and buy a little book and read five pages of it and then just put it on your mantle and make people think you read? What do you think you're going to do when you make money? What do you think money is in this country? It's to live in the. That's the whole dream is to live in the Pacific Palisades where 90% of the houses can't see the Pacific. It's a scam. It doesn't matter. That's the point of America, is to live in this little town with your outdoor mall and you bump into people in the outdoor mall with your dog. It's the point. They didn't deserve it. They didn't deserve it. It's peak civilization there. It's just enough money to. To think you have more. It's just enough money to have enough and to. To be rich. But to pretend to weirdly not be rich, it's a. It's a. If you haven't lived in la, you don't know. I'm only with Persians. I spend time only with Persians. I want big money. Big, big, big, big Iran, the Shah. Big Bentley, big Rolls Royce. I don't want to do a guessing game in the Palisades which. A little bungalow that might be worth 10 million and your fucking dumb little hat. I want to know if you got it like that or not. I want to see chunky jewelry around your fucking hairy chest. But. But it's nice to go see the policies. That's where the whites are. What are the whites doing? You got to check up on them. What are the white. Well, they're pretending to be in Yellowstone now and they're all on drugs. They're zanied out, and they're pretending to be in yellow. That's what the whites are up to. It's. You got to check on the whites every now and then. Persian Jews drove them out of Beverly Hills, so they went to Brentwood in the Palisades, where they've erected some fantasy land where they tweet out liberal garbage while they also call the police and go, get over here. I saw someone. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the height of hypocrisy. The Pacific Palisades. It's a very democratic place. It's a very, you know, California place. It's a lot of cognitive dissonance. That's what it is. But they didn't deserve this. No one does that. The home that you caught your husband cheating on you in is still your home. The home where you told your son, get a job, you dirt bag, is still your home. The home where you confronted your daughter and said, where are my bills? That's your home. The home where you had a little meeting in your back house with the writer that was going to write the story about your life that you thought was so interesting because your mother's Romanian, whatever, that's still your home. The inane, banal conversations with your stupid neighbors that happened at your dumb little garden party that nobody wanted to go to and they came to just judge you and you all drank white wine and stood in a. Your. Your little yard that was eight and a half million dollars for no goddamn reason. That still your home, and you don't deserve that. I hope this is coming across sympathetic. That's the intent. That's the intent. But it's not a town about handing bottles of water out. It never will be. If LA becomes a town where good people help each other, it's over. It's fucking over. Then burn the rest of it down. Burn the rest of it down. If LA is going to pretend to be a town of people that are genuinely good and not just pretend, then burn it all down. It's no Point, Snow point. It's no point. Burn the rest of it. If that's the thing, I'm. If I see someone handing a bottle of water to a first responder, I'm going to gas can them get out of there. Because it's not what it's about. It's not what the city is about. The city is actually about immediately realizing that the government has fucked you. Becoming right wing. You're already dressed like cowboys. Go with it. Go with it, dum dums. Throw these scumbags out of office. Lower your taxes. Get the homeless out of there. And somebody take the gas cans out of their hands. Okay? And go back to making enter. Stop raping and pillaging and pedophiling and start making good things again. Funny things. Good drama, good art. Good creative stuff that captivates people and keeps them where they belong, on their couch. That's what you do. That's what you do over there at Netflix and Hulu and Amazon and whatever the other ones are. Peacock and Tubi, whatever. Your job is to keep people on their couch watching you. And you failed. You failed. The Capitol riot happened because no one had anything to watch. You need to go back to making things that are good. There's enough people that come to LA to be exploited. You do not have to force them. You don't need to do that. I'm telling you, there's enough people. Are these the celebrities whose homes. Jeff Bridges. Great. Adam Brody and Leighton Meister. Billy Crystal. Great. Carrie El West. Oh, no. Anna Faris. Don't care. Mel Gibson. Great. John Goodman. Great. Brian Greenberg and Jamie Chung. Don't know, don't care. Jennifer Gray, Paris Hilton. Don't care. Anthony Hopkins. Great. Pozoma St. John. Sad. Taryn Killiam and Kobe Smolders. Meh. Sorry. Tina Knowles. Beyonce's mother. Ricky Lake. Didn't retweet my thing. Fuck her. No, when the show came out, she didn't retweet it. Fuck her. Sandra Lee, Sad. Eugene Levy, Love. Cameron Matheson. Who's that? Is that the fat chick from the Practice? No, that's Cameron Manheim. Sorry. Keep going. Rosie O'Donnell. She'll be fine. I think she's got a great thing in Miami. Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montech, Sad. They came to a show of mine once. Melissa Rivers, Sad. Loved her mother. Candy Spelling, lunatic. Miles Teller, Sad. Great actor. Mila Ventimig. A great actor. Diane Warren said. James Wood. Stop crying. All right, that's. That's all. But what about Tim Dillon? Email. Who was that? Vanity Fair. Email Vanity Fair. Tim Dillon's house burned down with his family in it. They would kill because any day they died. Email Vanity Fair. My family's dead and a nice photo of me. Not that crap from getting images. They always use these scumbag media enemies of mine. We're gonna deal with that at the inauguration. I'm gonna say I need somebody to get in there to getty Images and get some of these people. But email them and let them know my house is burned down and my family is dead. Tim Dillon's house burns down. He and the only reason he couldn't save his family was he was saving a family of color. I went to save the family of color next door and my white family died. Email Vanity Fair that please. And they could call me. I will do an interview about it. Email every publication that I've lost my house because. And I was saving a black family at my block. So my own family died. What is the update on the fires now? What are they doing? They're going to roll into Brentwood. They better not. I hope people have. See, this is what it is. Here's a mess. I'm trying to be hopeful. I think the city's down for the count for a little bit. I'm a little worried that some of my friends don't seem to realize the scope of this. It needs a total overhaul. This isn't just like a thing. This is a deeply structural issue and you've got to make lots of changes and it's no good to just go climate change. We all know climate change is. Is an issue. But like, you know, it's also there's practical things that can be done, like not saving the fish, like having water in the hydrants. LA fire closes in on posh Brentwood neighborhood where Kamala Harris and LeBron James have homes. Wow. Play this. It's really, really tough right now for a lot of people and obviously we are sad for them. For the people in Altadena, the working class people, our hearts are broken. And for the people of the Palisades, we are also sad because not all of them were rich. But, you know, would I be li. If it would I. Would I. Would I be lying to you if I said these were the most sympathetic people in the world? Would that be a lie? Be a little bit of a lie. Be a lie. Be a lie. If I said the people that I'm checking into hotels with with ironic cowboy hats are the most sympathetic group of people in the world, I would be. I would be lying to you. I don't want to lie to the audience that has done so much for me. They bought me that house at burned down. It's tough. It's tough because nobody deserves it. So now, are we seeing any fire here? Oh, there it is. It's approaching Mandeville Canyon in Brentwood. We gotta contain this thing and get. Shut it down. The rebuilding needs to start. BlackRock and these scumbags better not think they're gonna put a bunch of hotels in Malibu so I could see all these Long island pigs I grew up with. That's not the point. That ain't the point. The point is that Malibu is, Is. Is. Is a place for, like, rich people who've gone completely insane and say things like, the ocean is my teacher. That's the point. The point of living in Malibu is you think you're going to look like you're going to be healthy like Gabby Reese and Laird Hamilton, but it's not necessarily the case. Sometimes it is, but that's the point. The point of Malibu is to kind of leave the Earth. It's not. It's not. Don't turn it into Ocean City, Maryland. I don't want Laffy Taffy in Malibu. I don't want Buca di Peppo in Malibu. Don't do it. Don't zone this to. Put a bunch of hotels there. Don't do it. If there's a Disney World Malibu, I'll light it on fire. Don't do this. Don't do Harry Potter World in the Palisade. Don't do this. And if that's why this whole thing, if that's how it's going to end up, I'm. I'm. I'm telling. We'll burn that down. The houses should now be. It should be for the Palisades should now have six houses in it, and they should each be worth a billion dollars. Go richer. Richer. There should be parcels of land sold off to billionaires who put competing castles up the palisade. You'd have nine. 19 residents, excluding staff. Go richer. Don't. Don't bring in the pigs. Don't bring in the pigs and the piglets. We don't want the pigs in the piglets in Malibu. And if you're going to do that, we're going to burn it down again. I will drive. If you do Disney World Malibu, I will drive homeless people with gas cans around until we. We correct that mistake. So don't. Don't do it. Karen Bass has got to go. Gavin Newsom's got to Go. I got to get involved in an official capacity. Put Whitney Cummings in. Put me in. See what happens. What could happen? Put Sebastian in fire. I ain't done. I know. Did you see his thing? Can we play his thing? He's like, how did fire start? What are they doing with the fire? Fire. I think he's hilarious and I love him. People criticize us for being tone deaf. I actually thought it was great and I kind of agreed with him. It is weird to get the grill going. But he did post this as people were burning alive. Foreign. What's up with wildfires? You want to tell me how these things start? Los Angeles, it's windy today and the whole city's in flames. Where are the fires starting? Does someone flick a cigarette? Wind gets a hold of it. Next thing you know, it's an inferno. I listen, I could probably Google it. Probably a simple answer. I know wind spreads the fire, but what I want to know is who's starting the fire? Have you ever tried to start a fire? He's right. Yeah. I can't even get my. My grill going or my fireplace going without kindling sticks. But the whole city's up in flames. Let me know. People got. I think people were not thrilled with that, but I agree with him. I agree with all of his questions. It's like, how does this happen? Why is it happening? And that's the big thing we're gonna have to figure out. Who are the people doing this arson? Is it coordinated? Are they just psychos? They could just be psycho. You can't let a bunch of drug addicted, mentally ill psychopaths run around the city with gas cans. It's a terrible idea. It's out of a Stephen King novel. Literally. It's literally out of a Stephen King novel. So burglary suspect dressed as firefighters arrested in LA fire. Did you hear this? They stole Humvees from the National Guard or something. I heard that. Someone told me that. My realtor told me that, that they stole. Like the National Guard got robbed in la. But people are doing home invasions dressed up as firefighters and looting these areas where people have their stuff. So here, make this. Los Angeles authorities say they arrested 29 more people overnight in the fire zones, including one burglary suspect who is allegedly dressed as a firefighter. Of the arrest, 25 people are apprehended in the Eaton fire, four in the Palestinians fire zone. We have people who will go to all ends to do what they do. Los Angeles Police Department Chief Jim McDonald said of a man dressed in a fire jacket. And helmet burglarizing homes. One man who was driving a truck was arrested in the Palisades area. Other suspects were found inside the vehicle. The men pretended to be associated with the fire station, but a quick check with the fire department proved that not to be the case. I'm telling you. So National Guard arrives in LA Curfew's plan to crack down on looting in the fire ravaged area. So people are going and looting the homes of people and it's, you know, it's difficult to control chaos. Three Humvees and military supplies stolen from Army Reserve warehouse. The police in Tustin, California said the Humvees as well as binoculars, bayonets and a machine gun vehicle mounts had been stolen from an army reserve center. Well, that's good. Who's doing that? Who's doing that? We've got drones overhead. No one knows why. We've got people stealing Humvees with machine gun mounts. Is it. Is there something going on? Is there a problem? Is there something happening? Does it not feel like something's odd? You know, I put up these things, people get mad at me. Oh, you're paranoid. You're nuts. Am I? What's going on here? Why are there drones over military installations? Is it us? Is it someone else? China? Who is it? Can we know? But the police recovered two of the Humvees on Saturday after receiving tips from the public. There's some idiots driving around a Humvee, some morons going, look what I have. And the public's like, hey, I'm seeing this guy with a Humvee. Lt. Nunley said that the police did not have information about the thieves because the military did not have surveillance cameras on the warehouse. He said the police were seeking footage from other cameras in the area. So the whole. We're just. This is exposing and covet did this, but this is even further exposing all of the vulnerabilities of our society. It's not, you know, you go to bed at night thinking someone's in charge. No one's in charge. No one's in charge. That's the thing. No one's in charge. And the only people that seem to have some type of clue seem to be actively working against the public interest all the time, in every way that they can. The only people that seem to have any power in this society are actively making your lives harder and more dangerous by the minute, by the way. The only people that seem to have any authority or control are doing terrible things constantly that you can't do anything about. Investigators found multiple Storage lockers with the locks removed and a fence cut out to get to the parking lot where the Humvees were parked. It also looked as if there had been an unsuccessful attempt to cut a lock, gain access to the uniforms. So people were going to drive around in Humvees with National Guard uniforms and I guess loot. That's a movie. That's a good movie. And if LA was smart, they'd have a movie about guys dressed up as firefighters looting the Pacific Palisades. And it would be funny. Be like a funny movie about guys dressed as firefighters. And I hope that meeting's happening. It's a. It's a gang of kids. They're dressed up as firefighters and it's like the three kids stacked up as one firefighter and they loot the burnt down Pacific Palisades. And it's funny. No, it's a comedy. It's fun. Yes, the fire is dark, but it's funny because they're kids, they're not adults, they're preteens and they stack on top of each other to make one fake firefighter who loots. No, it's good. The US army is now offering a reward of up to $5,000 for that Humvee that was stolen in L. A. I mean, there's no one. Everyone's asleep at the wheel, by the way, including the citizens. The citizens are completely out of it. Trying to talk to these people. Well, you know, it's been really challenging, but we're really hopeful. Why are you, what are you hopeful about? Get these people out of office. Well, we think it's been very challenging. There's too many people in LA because of their own failures in whatever creative endeavor they half attempted, who want the world to burn that it. They're literally making it burn. There's too many embittered narcissists in that city that don't understand that they cannot destroy the world because they didn't get a series regular role on Hacks. You can't destroy the world because you're not on hacks. I'm sorry, homeless people cannot walk around with gas cans because you didn't get a role on Hacks. You have to just accept it and move on. There's too many people in that city who just think that the world should be destroyed because their own personal needs aren't met all the time. And I know them and they come this well of bitterness and bile. They hate everything and every but. But they do it in such a sweet way that you're confused. Why are the police breaking up the homeless fentanyl dealers in the park. Why would they do that? Why would they remove the fentanyl from the park? It's so bad. We should have more homeless people. Harm reduction. Why are the police taking the needles away from them? And they do in this weird way where you go, oh, wait, are you a good person or the worst person I've ever met? You're confused because the way they say everything, they're like, they're like, why, why would the police stop these homeless people from stabbing each other? They're just homeless and they're just stabbing each other. Why would the cops stop it? And you go, yeah, why are they. And then you're like, oh, wait, this is a trick. You're a horrible person. You're terrible. You're actually, you're actually the worst person I've ever met. We need to do more. And then it's just, it's a fake out. It's like when you talk to these people, you're quick to realize how crazy they are, but they lure you in because many of them are attractive, some of them are sweet, some of them are nice. And they're like, they say the craziest shit. They say the craziest shit. And they're like, you know, they're like, it's so sad what's going on right now. I hope this doesn't make people like, like, turn their back on, like, Gavin Newsom and the people that are, like, really trying to, like, save us. And you're like, what culture you in? Why are you in it? Who put you in it? What do you get out of it? That's the thing about L. A, they don't even get. These people don't get anything out of it anymore. They used to get jobs. They don't have jobs. No jobs for these people. They used to parrot bullshit talking points because there was work. There's no work that there's nothing to do for all of these people. There used to be a system in which you, you, you, you, you went to L. A and they made you famous. And the, the, the trade off was that you couldn't publicly challenge any of the things that had they, that they had decided were the things. Whatever it was, you had to just do the bullshit, and for that you'd get a career. Now you do is nothing. The chips are all cashed. There's nothing left to give these people. And they're still just babbling and crazy and talking about nonsense and what's wrong with this woman? What's her deal. Can. Let's play her. This is probably going to be sad. I'm kidding about. Listen, this is sad. I'm. This is very sad. Let's see this woman. This is going to be sad. Now, don't get mad at me if you live in the Palisades. I'm just saying you're not. You're not as sympathetic as other people. I'm sorry.