Transcript
Ryan Seacrest (0:00)
Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway with the Stock up sale at Safeway and Albertsons. Stock up and earn four times points at your local store when you purchase participating products. Save now on your favorite beverages from Red Bull to Coke, Monster 7Up body armor and Pepsi. Clip the offer in the app for event savings and look for participating items throughout the store. Shop in store or online. Plus, you can even have your groceries delivered or use drive up and go to have your groceries brought to your car at the store. Restrictions and exclusions applied. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.
Tim Dillon (0:30)
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show. How are you? I have a Netflix special coming out on Tuesday, April 15th. What I'd like you to do right now, my little demon hose, is go on a Netflix and hit the reminder to be reminded that this special comes. I don't care if your child's in anaphylactic shock, hit it with the epi. Put the reminder on Netflix to be reminded to watch when the special goes live. It is Tuesday the 15th, right? Yeah. Tuesday, April 15th. I'm in the midst of a press tour that Megyn Kelly's home today. Lovely, lovely property. And I'm all over the place going down to see Joe Rogan in Austin and Tom and Christina and others. So that would help out a lot. If you put the reminder on Netflix, what does it look. Can you go to Netflix and show them how to do it? Maybe people are confused. You're gonna love it. It's very fun. We have a fun promo that's coming out that no one will be angry at at all. I'll just say that this helicopter crash in the Hudson's driving me nuts because, number one, I'm not a devotee of the helicopter. But I'll tell you this. It is convenient as hell every now and then to hop in a helicopter from Manhattan and go to the Hamptons. But you don't want to end up dead. So it's becoming a problem. I'm just saying it's. Flight can't be for all people anymore. Everyone can't be in the air. People that are in the air need. It's got to be people that have deserved that deserve to be in the air. Not all. Not everyone is not going to. It's not for everyone. Helicopter tours need to go away. What do you need to see? New York is the most famous manmade vista in the world. It is the most famous skyline on earth. What do you get? Get. Go to a rooftop bar and get a view. Go to an observation deck. Don't get in a helicopter with your family. You're taking a chance. Especially the fucking helicopter tours. You don't know who the fuck is in there or what they're doing. I'm telling you, enough with these summer vacations. I'm predicting this summer because of the market instability that people are going to actually find ways to have vacations at their house. It's called a staycation where you don't leave your home and your kids. Are we going anywhere? And you go, shut up. And you go, well, actually John and his family going somewhere Go, Yeah, yeah, we, we got cleaned out. We're fucked. John's family owns property. We're fucked here. We got nothing. Oh, they're going to the lake. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good, good. I hope he drowns. I hope John drowns in the lake with his family. His father's a drunk. He's always nice to me. Shut up. I have nothing. This family has nothing. That's the conversations that will be happening this summer when the kids go, we going anywhere? The answer is no, we're not. We're not going anywhere. Kids are spoiled pieces of shit. They're making you feel bad about the economy. They're the problem. Oh, consumer confidence is plunging because kids want more shit than they fucking need, by the way. Oh, there's going to be less Christmas. Good, good. There should be none. You should get one fucking present. This abundance that everybody talks about is. Nobody's happy, by the way. So enough with this crap. Novik, get off. Get out of the helicopter. It is a convenient way for me to go. And we fly mostly when the water is warm. That doesn't mean much if it goes down, you know, it kind of spirals. I don't even want to show this video. This is terrible. This is if a family that crashed and just show it just to scare people because I think people got to stay out of these things. Show it. In a matter of seconds, a helicopter fell from the sky. God, the news people don't help, do they? In a matter of seconds, what started out as a family trip quickly ended in a watery grave. In a matter of seconds, a once smiling family plunged to their death in lower Manhattan. The cold waters of the early spring Hudson were the last thing that family felt. It's like, do we need that? What is this guy? Is this guy's reaction now like? It sounded like like a engine just died. And I just turned, I look and I saw the helicopter crashing, splashing to the water. Oh, Good, good, good. Well, I'm glad we got his tank. This guy. I saw it crash and smash into the water. I heard the helicopter went down into the water. Oh, good. Well, I'm happy. I'm happy that we've cleared that up. We were all confused. What really happened? What exactly happened? Everyone. So it's like. Everybody's like, what exactly happened? I saw this helicopter, and then it fell out of the sky and into the water. What was the first woman did? The first woman. I just want one of them to go. Like, I don't know if it was even in the air. I can't believe anything anymore. It's like screaming. We were crying, claiming Sin River. Everybody was like, screaming. We were crying, claiming six lives, including a family on a sightseeing trip. You gotta stay out of the helicopter. You gotta stay out. You gotta. You gotta stay out for the sake of your family. You gotta. You gotta prepare your children now for actually, it's lean, lean times, lean times. Market's up, the market's down. There's a lot of volatility. Larry Fink's go, we're gonna have a recession. Jamie Dimon, all these guys, the real demons are out here talking about the recession. CEOs of all these big banks, private equity companies. Go, we're going to. We're going to have a recession. And you know, you're going to have to tell your children and prepare them for a. This is not going to be the epic summer. It's not going to be epic. Too many people expect everything to. All these kids going to Coachella. It's epic. It's going to be. What's the times of our lives, you know? Well, we're going to have to. We're going to have to calm that down. We're not going to have the times of our lives this summer. It's going to be a. Try not to die. That's what you tell your children. Try not to die this summer. Because hopefully next summer or the summer after, we can go back to doing something. But we're going to have a little. It's a rough patch here. It's a rough patch. Why don't you acquaint yourself with our yard? How about that? Go to the local public pool. It's a public pool summer. That's what it is. This is a public pool summer. Go get choked in the water by a gang member this summer. Why don't you get choked in the water by a Latin King? Because there's no lake house this summer. It's a Tough summer. This is a popsicle summer where we're in the 90s right now. Pre Clinton, we're at the end. It's Gulf War. It's, it's, it's. There's not a lot. This is a rediscover movies summer. This is a Netflix and chill summer. It's a public pool summer. It's a popsicle summer. It's a borrowed mom's car summer. It's smoke a joint on the beach summer. It is not helicopter tour summer. It's not epic concert summer. It's not backpacking through Europe summer. This is a very pared down, simple suburban summer. This is smoke glass with your friends summer. Smoke meth with your friends. This is not like you're going to be making memories to last a lifetime summer. No, this is. I'm looking at the, I'm reading all these articles about what's going on in the stock market. Prepare your children for an old school summer, some drugs, couple of hand jobs under the boardwalk and move it on, we're back in school. It's not going to be the greatest night of your life. I'm telling you, it's not going to be the greatest two months of your life. It's not happening. It's not happening. It's going to be just hot, sticky and cheap. It's going to be a cheap summer. Everyone's mad at RFK because he's pledging to find the cause of autism by September. And that's pretty cool. Number one, life's about setting goals. And he's literally going, I'm going to find it out by September. By the end of the, this will be the summer that RFK found out what caused autism. That'll be this. This will be the summer that we all remember. RFK is going to work really hard. He's going to hunker down and find out why people are autistic and tell us all in September. And I'm kind of excited. What if it's something we, we have no idea what it could be. We don't know. Could be canned tuna. We don't know. Everything's on the table. That's. You got to like about rfk. Everything's on the table. I'm thinking he might go in the direction of vaccines, but we don't know. We don't know. Could be household chemicals, toxins in wood furniture, the cream for the Dunkaroo. No one knows what exactly is making people autistic. He is pledged while everyone else is. I don't know what they're doing in the summer. This guy is pledged to find the cause of autism. Let's listen to this guy. I'm telling you right now. Pretty fucking cool. Pretty ambitious. Rfk. The autism rates have gone from now, most recently, numbers we think are going to be about 1 in 31, 1 in 20. So they're going up again from 1 in 10,000 when I was a kid. And we are going at your direction. We are going to know by September. We launched a massive testing and research effort that's going to involve. It's like a scavenger. Scientists from around the world. By September, we will know what has caused the autism. We'll be able to eliminate those. This is like going to the moon. This is like going to the moon. You're going to have a pretty good idea. We will not buy September. There will be no bigger news conference than that. So that. That's. That's it. If you can come up with that answer where you stop taking something, you stop eating something, or maybe it's a shot, but something's causing it, well, it's pretty cool that RFK has come out and said, hey, we're going to look into this for the months of May, June, July, August, and then in September, we're coming out and we're going to tell you why you're autistic. And it's like a fun summer scavenger hunt. We're going to look at vaccines. Kennedy said, but we're going to look at everything. Everything is on the table. See, I didn't even know he said that, but I knew it. Our food system, our water, our air, different ways of parenting, all the kind of changes that may have triggered this epidemic. He might come back and go, you're not beating your kids. He might say, we have figured out what it is and it's the fact that you are not open face smacking your chair. He might say, the lack of beatings has result. You have to beat the autism out of the kid. He might say it. We don't know. And he might be right. He might say, you have to beat the autism out of your child. I mean, belts, chase him around the house bloody. You know, what's that thing Joe Jackson, you say to Michael, go get me a switch. Go get a branch from the tree and beat your child. RFK might come out and say, it's because kids aren't getting beaten by their parents anymore. So we don't know. We don't know. He might say, after the research, we've concluded that children who are not beaten with a belt multiple times a week are much more likely to be autistic. You might have to beat them. You might have to beat it out of the kids. Sorry. The answers are not always what you'd want. They're not what you'd want. It's brussels sprouts, not smoothies that make you thin. Sure, we'd love it if it was smoothies. All milkshakes all day. And then I get better. I get better with a milkshake. Who. But it's not. It's actually lean meats and vegetables and some, and some healthy fats. So this might not just be, oh, hey, don't give him a cupcake. It might be you need to beat the living shit out of your child again. Fear, like when the door of your car closes, your child is quivering and, and you. It might not even be beating them for a reason. It might be randomly attacking them in the house. I'm not saying it will be. I'm just saying we don't know which way it's going to go. We don't know what he's going to wreck, what his recommendations are. These recommendations could be that you, you know, maybe he'll make kids sleep with tape on their mouths. Remember that's a new thing that people are doing. They're sleeping with tape on their mouth. There's something with the nose or something. I don't know. He might require that. Here's a little secret that was leaked from a group chat. But the insurance industry definitely doesn't want you to know. Insurance companies profit by holding onto your money for as long as possible after an accident. 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With Morgan and Morgan, it's easy to get started and their fee is free unless they win. Just Visit for the people.com Tim or dial pound law pound 529. That's for the people.com Tim, or dial pound law pound 529. This is a paid advertisement. You know, we don't know. But what we do know is we don't want to go to war with Iran. Now, there's a lot of people in the Trump administration who they all. They always sneak in, these neoconservatives, by the way, or neoliberals. It doesn't matter what. What we mean by that is people that love going to war all the time, there's never a war they don't like. They like Ukraine, they like Israel, Gaza, they like Syria, they liked Iraq, they liked Afghanistan, they liked Libya, and they'll like Yemen. There's nothing they don't like. There's not one war a lot of these people don't like. I just want one. I just want one of them to go, well, that one I don't think is good. Every war on the table with these people is great. Everybody we're supporting is of unimpeachable integrity and the greatest people ever. Everybody that we're opposing is an irrational monster who cannot be negotiated with. We are just trying to help a people live in a more democratic way against a Hitlerian figure who's impervious to reason. This is every conflict that I have ever witnessed my entire life since I became conscious. All of these people, Iran, they've been talking about Iran since 2001. Iran. And in Long island, you know, during the Iraq war, when everyone, including me, thought that was a great idea. Of course, my defense is that I was 17 and on cocaine. You know, you would bump into people in Dunkin Donuts and they will go, yeah, the real problems, Iran. They're going to go into Iran after Iraq. That's where they're going to go, to Iran. Because these people, these gremlins, these creatures that walk the earth, have been filled with the idea that, that Iran is going to take their Levitt house in Levittown, Long island, and that in order to stop that, we need a major war. This is what we've sold all these people, by the way. We've sold them this idea that, like, all of the threats that you're going to encounter in your life are from outside of the country. And it's caves. There are these people in caves plotting to destroy. But they're also really super sophisticated and brilliant and in caves, but really smart. And they're Religious fundamentalists, but also futuristic tech geniuses. And they're able to do all kinds of things like attack our country. And on the day when NORAD had scrambled all the planes, they picked the exact right mo. It's wild what these people are able to do from a cave. It's really amazing. It is unreal what they're able to pull off from a cave. I meant because they're all in caves and they're all plotting to take the things from you. They're gonna come in here somehow. Now, you would think, wouldn't it be easy to stop them from coming in here if we just didn't let a lot of people come in? If we tightened up security as to who could come in and who could go, well, that's silly. We can't do that. It's a global world. So we. So then you go, okay, so then what do we have to do to make sure that no one attacks us? Well, we have to go around the world overturning their governments and convincing them all to love us. Oh, that seems so hard. It seems so much easier to just like, make it harder to get into our country. Wow, you'd think that, but actually, the best course of action is to just go get these people to really love us and appreciate us. And. And how do we do that? Attack them. We attack them. What, we bomb their homes and families and then the ones that are left alive realize how benevolent and good we are because we let corporations go in there and do things. Oh, okay. Has this ever worked? No. Right. Okay. But we got to keep doing it. Yes. Why? For our safety. Yeah. Seems odd. So that's the course of action that these people believe. They believe it because the financial incentives to believe it are too strong. There's absolutely direct correlation between the. Our defense budget, which Trump is now proposing. A trillion dollars or something absurd. Because they're all getting ready for China. They're getting ready for the main event. Remember wrestling? And the main event, they're getting ready for China. But we got to run around the Middle east as well, and we have to make sure that Iran doesn't come and get us. So all of these people are. Yes. Record breaking $1 trillion defense budget. He campaigned as being the ultimate peace president, no wars guy, and he's doing a trillion dollar defense budget. So here's what people will have to start parsing out in their own mind at a certain point here. What version of Donald Trump is the version that you want? And what's the version that you're getting? And how much daylight is there between those two versions? I think it would be a very big mistake to go to war with Iran. A lot of people do. I think it would drain our resources at a time when we shouldn't be doing that. It's one of the reasons I don't think it's intelligent to continually make the Ukraine war a permanent column in the Defense Department budget and effectively engage in a cold war with Russia, while the looming threat of China, which makes Taiwan, has a lot more strategic importance to America than The Ukraine does, 1,000%. And any smart person will tell you that. So the idea that we'd be, we cannot fight wars in three theaters, we can't be funding these people and funding Israel and in Iran, we can't do it. So President Trump has given Iran a two month deadline to accept a deal that would lead to Iran shrinking its nuclear footprint or eliminating its program altogether. I want them not to have a nuclear weapon. I want Iran to be a wonderful, great, happy country, but they can't have a nuclear weapon, Trump said on Air Force One, because Iran having a nuclear weapon poses a direct threat to Israel. Not so much America, but Israel's an ally of America. And of course, Trump said military strikes are possible against Iran if a new nuclear deal isn't reached, though he said Israel, which has been advocating for an attack on Iran, would take the lead. Well, here we are. Here we are. Here we are again. And who's this for? Whose security is this for? If it requires military, we're going to have military, Trump said on Wednesday. Israel will obviously be very much involved in that. They'll be the leader of that. Israel wants to go to war with Iran because it is in their interest to do so. Iran backs proxies like Hezbollah and other people that have, have attacked Israel. And Israel has gone to war with Hezbollah and it has gone to war. Hezbollah is backed by Lebanon, but Iran is funneling money to all of these different groups, the Houthis, all of the different terrorist groups Iran is definitely supporting and Qatar is supporting to some degree. And it makes sense why Israel would want to go to war with Iran. However, right now it makes very little sense that a president who campaigned on being peaceful and getting us out of wars and restoring the middle class would entertain preemptive strikes on Iran with Israel. Iran has allies like China and Russia, and I don't know if China and Russia would directly get involved in this. They probably wouldn't, but they, I don't, I don't think they would, but they might. It's always a risk when you destabilize an entire region of the world that allies like China and Iran are going to come in. And now we're in World War Three. Now we're literally in World War Three. The economy's tanked, and now we're walking into World War Three with Iran at the behest again of Israel, which I don't think is a smart decision for our government to make. And there's a lot of people in Trump's ear that are telling him it is a smart thing to do, that this is a good thing, that it's a necessary thing. I don't think it is. And I think a lot of people agree with what I'm saying, and that's that we simply cannot continue to look at regime change in the world as the only option. We have to start dealing with people that are dangerous and threatening without directly going to war with them. America's moment running the world is over. China is a power equal to or greater economically than we are at this point, probably equal to. Some people say their economy is bigger. It looks. It depends on what metrics you look at. India is coming up. Russia's has more nuclear weapons than any other country. A lot of countries are going. You can't push them around. A lot of countries are nuclear. A lot of countries, they're not Iraq, they're not Afghanistan. They cannot simply be bent to our will. And I think J.D. vance gets that. I think a lot of people in the administration that I have spoken to, I haven't spoken to JD But I know a lot of people get it. And there's a lot of people that don't get it. There's a lot of people that don't understand it because there's this idea that retreat or capitulation to a guy like Vladimir Putin or the ayatollahs in Iran is, is a sign of American weakness. And that is the foreign policy establishment's view in Washington, the permanent foreign policy establishment, they just want war all the time. They don't really care what happened. I mean, Netanyahu just goes, even if the nuclear strikes drag on, Israel may just strike anyway. I mean, he goes, we might just. We might do it anyway. You can talk if you want, but we might just get it popping. We might go into it anyway. Do you want to fight? I mean, think about it. Are you trying to fight Iran out there? Anyone? Is anyone trying to fight Iran right now? Is anyone trying to fight Vladimir Putin over where the northern border in of the Ukraine should Be. Is anyone doing that? Does anyone. I respect the people that were, like, dual citizens of Israel in America, the ones that went over there to fight. I respect that. God bless. Go do your thing. And I respect that. But there's a lot of people that won't be fighting these wars to just love them. They're, like, really excited. We're gonna. We're gonna strike anyway, says Benjamin here. Does. Does this guy. Do we have any control over these people? Do we have any influence over there? We give them billions of dollars. Do we have absolutely any influence at all with that country at this moment? This is like you're trying. This is like your kid walks into your house with a new tattoo, smoking a cigarette, and you're like, young lady, what. What the fuck's going on? You're smoking in the house, you have a tattoo, and they're saying, you're not going to school. Hey, Ma, fuck you. And I need five hunch. What? And then as you're saying it, you're writing the check. You're like, I cannot believe you're acting. You want me to make it out to cash? Why are you doing this? Why are you doing this? Here's your money. And then they put the cigarette out and they. And they ash it on the floor, and they. They put it out with their boot. And then they walk out and they go, yeah, fuck you. And tell everyone at school, fuck off. I'm going to Coachella to get fucking railed out in a teepee or something. I don't know. But the point is, we really have to start looking at this, like, Benjamin Netanyahu. Like, this guy was, like, on trial for corruption. Now, when my helicopter goes down, by the way, let's all not. It's. Let's wonder why. But he was on trial for corruption. Then October 7th happened. The tragedy of October 7th. The horror. The attack. Don't call it a tragedy. It was. Yes, yes, yes, the attack. I get it. I didn't do it. So this happens. It's horrible. They respond. Okay. They go wild. They go a bit overboard, I think. Well, those are actually the Hamas statistics. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. But it's not good, right? It's not great. So we have this situation now on top of all, and we've been very supportive. Now Iran, I don't. I don't know. So we're going to just. We're going to sleepwalk through that. If Trump does that, I think it's the end of his term, even more so than this economic volatility. I Think if he walks into that war, it's the end of his term. Foreign Minister Abbas Arachi warned that a war on Iran would drag the US and the region into a costly conflict that a president elected on an anti war platform would be eager to avoid. We cannot imagine President Trump wanting to become another US President mired in a catastrophic war in the Middle East, a conflict that would quickly extend across the region and cost exponentially more than the trillions of taxpayer dollars that his predecessors burned in Afghanistan and Iraq. You know history. The, the longer you pay attention. This is why eventually I will retire from this job. It's not because I don't enjoy it. I actually love doing it. I love doing this. I love stand up and I, I love coming on here. But here's the reality. Eventually everything just starts to repeat itself. It's, it's crazy. We're talking again about going to war in the Middle East. You understand we did this in 2003. It's now 2025. You understand what we're doing again, it's the same. It really is just, it's Groundhog Day. It's that movie. It's just the same day every day. I hope Trump figures out that this would be a terrible, terrible idea. Now, let's talk about that car that you own but don't use, one you're paying to keep registered and insured, that's taking up space out front and it's just sitting there doing no one any good. Let me tell you what you should do about that car. You should give Cars for Kids a call and have them take it for you. That's right. Just give them the info and they will come to you as soon as the next day and take that car off your hands at no cost to you. Even better. Wouldn't it be funny if I did this with my Bentley and then they show up and I go, what the are you doing? Even better, they will turn that car into funds to help kids. So visit cars4kids.org Tim that's K A R S 4 K I D S.org T I M, that's K A R S with a K. And then the number four to donate or cool cars for kids directly at 1-877-cars-FORKIDS. 1-877-cars-FOR KIDS. 1-877-cars for kids. 1-877-cars- FORKIDS. Donate your car today. Plus you get a tax deduction and a vacation voucher and life will just be great. They've been around for 30 years and they've done this over a million times. This is really the right thing to do, folks. It's really the right thing to do. Why don't you do the right thing for once, you scum. Call now or head over to cars4kids.org Tim right now and get this done. That's cars4kids.org Tim. Remember, that's cars with a K. To escape the grid, young people are turning it to mini retreats. These little mini retirements. Young people, young people are going through it. Apparently some young people are spending their savings on an extended break earlier in their careers rather than waiting until retirement. Nobody believes in a future. Nobody. And they're not. And they're right, they're not wrong. Nobody believes this planet is going anywhere good. No one I know fantasizes about a retirement playing golf in South Carolina with their wife. If you've got it, flaunt it. Smoke them while you got them is the is the like ethos of people right now. Nobody really is approaching this thinking to themselves, hey, you know, it'll be great in 20 years when we're all happy, healthy and retired and sitting on our porch. Wait, no. Everybody is ready to live now and be killed. That's what everybody's waiting for. Marina Khazar wasn't sure what to call the three month break she took after quitting her job. After working in a series of jobs in finance and technology, Ms. Kazar, 30, was feeling stressed and overworked. In December 2023, with a bit of savings built up, she quit without another position lined up to focus on things that had fallen to the wayside while she focused on work. I had more time to work out. I was eating better, sleeping better. It was just like a full reset. For the first time in my adult life, I didn't have this looming cloud of work. Eventually, she came across a term for her hiatus that resonated with her micro retirement. For most people in the United States, being able to save enough money to not have to work is a far away ideal. That anxiety, especially for people closer to retirement, has only risen as stock markets have grown more volatile in response to President Trump's global tariffs. Discontented employees who do not have the means to leave the workforce have turned to quiet quitting, acting your wage or simply using their vacation days. So quiet quitting means I'm here, but I'm not. I'm barely here. You don't see me. I'm doing the minimum. Acting your wage means you're going to pay me shit. That's the level of work you're going to get. And now these mini retirements or micro retirements are people saying I'm being ground into dust by this hellish job and I don't believe in a future. So I'm going to spend the money while I have it now to rejuvenate myself. It, they're, they're like it's taking a sabbatical. I agree with some of this. I like it. I like it because people are saying, hey, we're not going to make it here and I'm going to have a little something for myself while I still can. A mini retirement can take on many forms. Taking extra time after being laid off to consider other paths. Asking for unpaid leave or building in a long stretch after voluntarily leaving a job. A lot of people cannot afford to take time out of the workforce. But those who do take these breaks tend to be much more financially stable. Of course, these are people who have a little bit of money, maybe not a ton, but enough to take a break. And they, they look at their lives and they realize this isn't going to end well. Gene Hackman was one of the greatest actors of our time. They just found him in his house and rats ate him, his dogs ate him and, and his wife. They had a rat borne disease and they were eaten by their own pets. And that's the best case. That's the best case. You're a, you're a, you're a legendary actor and you moved to Santa Fe to get away from it all and you're still eaten by the pets you fed. This is what's going on. People know that things are going to get worse. They're going to die in a cyclone, on a girls trip in Nashville. They're just gonna be taken up into the sky like the wizard of Oz. But it doesn't work out like that. You just, it throws you back down and you break your spleen. People know a helicopter's gonna crash in the ocean. They know they're gonna go to Thailand, get some weird disease that nobody knows what it really is, and then it's curtains. So enjoy it. Smoke em while you got em. That's the mini retirement thing. It's an acceptance of the fact that this doesn't get better. And it really doesn't. Not to be negative about it, but the American government is in kind of a cold civil war where people are using lawyers and law firms to go at each other. There are different feuding power factions within our government that are blackmailing and entrapping each other and forming alliances with foreign governments. To try to topple each other. The country and world has been given over to wealthy oligarchs who are teaming up to destroy what's left of the freedom on earth. You might as well take a couple of weeks in Key West. What the hell are you saving it for? This doesn't turn around. This only gets so much worse. So much worse. Unbelievably worse. Acid rain. Your flesh is falling off your face. Your children are going to barricade you in your home, and they're gonna be on drugs. You've never even heard of your kids. Oh, my God, the things your kids are gonna be on. They're gonna wake up. You're gonna open your kid's room in the middle of the night. You open their door and they're sitting in their bed with big eyes looking at the wall, going, everything will become a horror movie. It's gonna be insane. I'm telling you. Take some time in the Hudson Valley. Go upstate. It's a couple hours from the city. You don't need to save all of your money for when China decides Taiwan's had enough of free time or when fucking Israel just decides to launch 15 nukes. So, I mean, what are you waiting for? What are the chances your retirement's going to be nice? What are the chances things are going to degenerate so rapidly? It's go. Your head will spit. It's not going back. It's not going back. It's not going. But the Costco family is the good times. They're the good times. Yes, it's stupid and silly and demonic, but it's you can still say, God, that's cringe. You still have the ability to call it cringe. You still have the ability to recognize that it's gross and cr. You're going to lose that. You're going to lose it. You won't remember what it was. What is cringe? What do you mean? That word will lose all meaning. You will not be able to recognize good from bad. You won't know what cringe means. You'll just know that a large group of people has decided to follow a person. That's all you'll know. You'll look at the numbers and go, whoa. And you'll see them, and it won't matter what they're doing. Or maybe they'll be shitting in a fountain in Central park. In the video is. And you'll go, whoa, that's pretty fucking cool. He's shitting in the fountain. From Friends. It won't matter what they're doing. But you will lose the ability to know that it is cringe. You will. The entire Internet now is dominated by people who are parading around their worst qualities and being rewarded for. Encourages society to adopt that line of thinking. Let's go out there with our worst qualities and sell them to the people. Let's be the worst we can be the most annoying, the most desperate, the, the, the most like, you know, insane versions of ourselves. The ones that we privately hid. The ones that we would keep under lock and key. The ones that we would only show to our close friends and family and they would go away. Oh wait, that's stupid. Go away. The ideas that never should have seen the light of day have come to define people. And those are going to be your gods. You're not going to be able to tell where and when it went so wrong. Don't save your money for retirement. Don't. I mean can you imagine what a retirement community is going to look like in 20 years? Going to be a prison. To be a high tech prison. That's all it's going to be. A high tech prison in the desert with, with the. And, and the reason it's going to be a prison is they're going to. If you have enough money, they're going to have to protect you from what's on the outside. The other side of the fence. Don't go too close to the fence. So yeah, if you got a couple of bucks, go to Europe now. That's what I'm saying. Go to Europe now. You need to wait till this degenerates fully. I mean you're not even gonna know who to be mad at in the future. It's AI. You're gonna be shaking your fist at a robot. You're not even going to know who to be angry at. You're not even going to be able to identify the source of your pain. You're not gonna be able to. And it's by design. You'll just be like overcome and not know what to do. And it'll just fill you. You'll live in a constant state of dread. A constant state of dread and horror. And you won't exactly know who to assign blame to. And then you'll just go on this fucking phone or whatever you have, or maybe the phone's in you at that point and it'll just be retard after retard. It'll just. It will be. And you won't be able to know. It'll be an endless stream of the most Disgusting, disgusting things you've ever seen in your life. And you won't be able to stop it. You won't be able to opt out. It's going to be everywhere. It's going to be everywhere. It's, it's not going to make any sense, but you'll lose the verbiage, you're going to lose the language. That word cringe might be the most important word in the English language. Once it's gone and buried and dead and it means nothing and you're just watching, I don't know, fat people get stuck in fucking doors or, you know, these weird albinos singing in a parking lot or whatever's coming and it's not even coming, it's here. You're going to lose the ability to know, how did it happen? How did this happen? How have our lives been taken over by these people? They'll just be people making sounds. They're just going to make sounds. There'll be a guy with the eye patch who goes. And you won't be able to stop. You won't be able to stop it. You won't be able to stop. It's not going to. There'll be a woman in her car, she lives in her car and she'll be sitting there, she'll have newspapers all around and she'll just go. I'm telling you, that's what's coming. Why in God's name would you not go? Take a nice weekend in Georgia if you could. It has absolutely no value. Do not save your money. Do not wait for a retirement. It's not going to make any sense for you to retire. I mean, don't you want to take a trip before RFK decides what's causing autism? Don't you want to take a trip before RFK decides what exactly is the root cause of autism? I'll tell you that our personal information isn't personal anymore. Every website you visit, every account you create, every purchase you make, your data is being collected, tracked and sold. Most of the time you don't even know what's happening. And once your information is out there, there's no telling you hazard or what they'll do with it. 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A lot of my friends are switching to this with their companies. Plumbing, electrical, real estate, all of this stuff. You don't want to miss any of this customer service stuff. I know a guy with a car detailing business who just did this. Everyone loves it. Open phone, no missed calls, no missed customers. Mahmoud Khalil. Sorry. A judge ruled you can go. You can be deported. While I disagree with this decision, I don't personally know you. Louisiana immigration judge ruled Friday that activist Mahmoud Khalil can be deported. In an undated two page memo submitted to the court, Rubio detailed that on March 7, he got information about Khalil for. So, I mean, they, I guess, you know, whatever, they showed this judge some evidence, I don't know what that is of this guy. They revoked his visa. He was wiling out. After the ruling, Khalil told the judge, I would like to quote what you said the last time, that there's nothing more important to this court than due process, rights and fundamental fairness. Clearly, what we witnessed today, neither of those principles were present today or in this whole process. This is exactly why the Trump administration has sent me to this court, a thousand miles away from my family. I just hope that the urgency that you deem fit for me afforded to the hundreds of others who have been here without hearings for months. Um, he will not immediately deport it. His attorneys have said that if he were ordered. Here's the thing, I don't want this guy to be deported. I also don't want him to be like a folk hero. I don't, I don't want either of those things happening. I want him to be here and ignored. That's what I want. I want him to be in this country and be ignored like most people in this country. They're completely ignored. That's what I want. I don't want him to get a soapbox. I don't want him to lecture me. I don't want to hear anything about colonialism. I don't want to hear any of that. I just want him to be silent in my country and shut up, which is his country now, I guess, if he's on a visa. I just want him to shut up. I, I, and, and it's not because I even think that he's wrong about everything. I, I, I don't know what his statements are. I disagree with a lot of them and I'd agree with some of them, but the point is that I, I, I just don't want to be lectured to by. By this guy. It's the same reason I don't want to be lectured to by Vivek Rama Lama La. You just got here. Chill. You just got here. Chill a little. Chill a little bit. You just got to the party. Chill. Just don't tell everyone. Immediate. Now, I know you have feelings. I get it. If I went to Qatar to stay at the Four Seasons, I wouldn't immediately be like, oh, Hamas is a terrorist group. I'd be like, I like the pool. You have to assimilate a little bit. Just chill. I would be. I would not even bring it up. If I was in the Qatar Four Seasons, I wouldn't even bring it up. I wouldn't bring it up. I wouldn't be like, well, Hamas, a little bit of a death cult. I'd be like, the eggs are fluffy and the pool is nice. It's a great hotel. I'm having a good time. I'm actually having a great time here. I wouldn't be like, oh, let's organize a demonstration at the Four Seasons in Qatar. I would be on a fluffy bed going, it's so technological. I would call the front desk and go, I just want to say the technology in the hotel is amazing. You have these iPads, and we order everything from the. I mean, I just want to say it's stunning. Actually think it's great. I wouldn't be starting. I wouldn't be like, what about the rights of women? I'd be like, where's the spa? Let's chill it out. You're a guest. I'm a guest in Saudi Arabia. I don't start going around going, why are you chopping people's hands off? I go, where's that indoor lake you have with the jet skis? That sick? I think, people, you're a guest. If I'm a guest, I'm a good guest. I am a great guest in a home, in a country. I don't go in there and tell everyone what's what. No one wants that. No, I've had horrible guests in my home. They bring their dogs. They're rude. They insult rfk. He's my friend. But what I've learned is how to be a good guest. And here's how. You be a good guest. You don't. You don't make your presence known in a, like, controversial way. You focus on what's nice. You focus on what's good. I don't agree with Hamas. I don't agree with the Qatari royal family. I'M sure there's overlap. We both like luxury. We both seem to enjoy real estate. There's. There's overlap per se, but they're not good to gay people or women, you know, and they have archaic points of view, but I don't make that the focal point. If I go, I appreciate the. The scale of the development. You have to chill like Vivex over here. Yelling and screaming. Americans are lazy. Hey, buddy, you got here a few generations ago. Just chill. Just chill. You're not being a good guest. No one wants that. I'll be a good guest. I'll be in Doha. Wow. The World cup stadium's amazing. I wouldn't. People at Dubai. Oda. You think I would go to Dubai and be like, everything's made by slaves? I wouldn't say that. I would look at them and go, get to work. I'm a good guest. I would go, that's an amazing building. Not. Well, there's no climate regulation, so you. No, no, no, no, no. It's good. Gay. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. This thing's tall. That's tall as fuck. I assimilate. I'm a good guest. I don't go to India and go, well, this caste system seems unfair. These untouchables. I don't do that. I don't do that. It's not my business. I'm a good guest. I assimilate. I would be at the Saudi be handing. Not because I agree with it, but I just be there. Thief. Well, this is. Well, actually, this is what happens in my country. We let them run everything. The thieves. Well, they just. They run through the streets, actually. How are you? Good to meet you as well, Mahmoud. Very good, thank you. And this is Fatima. Hi. Well, I, you know, I mean, it seems extreme, but the reality is where I'm from, there's drug addicts on the street and everybody. It's smashing. Grabs in the Woodland Hills Mall. It's a part of Los Angeles. You know, Los. Of course you do. Well, they've ruined it. They've actually killed it. Do they just do one hand? They don't do two? I might do two. I might do two. But I see what you're saying, okay, he's coming. And he still puts the mask on. Okay. It's actually humane. It's actually quite humane. And they disinfect it after. I think that's good. What are the restaurants? What are the. Is it. Is that one good? You're the third person who's told me, Fatima, you are the third person who's told me that's the good one. I'm gonna see if I can get it. Well, it was lovely to meet you and it was love. And you're Osama. It was lovely to meet the whole family. Thank you. I'm a good guest. I'm a good guest. What do you think I'm gonna do, Run on the stage? Why are you chopping his hand off? He's a thief. It's not my country. I didn't design it. Nobody's a good guest anymore. So this guy's coming here and yelling and screaming. Listen, it's not about whether you're right or wrong. You're a guest and you have to act a little bit like a fucking guest. I'm sorry. You do. I do not go to places and tell them they should be more like me. I don't tell them they should be more like America. That's not what. I'm not on this mission to tell everyone how to live. Everyone else is. It's odd. It's odd. Everyone's just doing that all day and no one's bored of that. I don't. I would completely. I would walk down to the Qatar lobby and say to them, this is such a beautiful and luxurious property. And I'm, you know, I mean, what am I going to do? Be like, well, I think a lot of this is unfair, you know? And you know what will happen. You just inevitable I'll be talking to this guy, we'll be laughing, probably smoking. They're like, smoking. Be smoking. And he'll hand me his card and it'll go like, director of Business Relations, Hamas. And I'll go, you have to meet people where they are. You have to. I don't think that this is the problem. If you come here, just be a little quiet and fit in a little bit. Just fit in a little bit. I'm not saying you're wrong. I just talked the first half of the show that we shouldn't go to a war with Iran and Israel shouldn't start just lobbing this. I'm not saying you're wrong, and I get it. And America's based on peaceful protests. But do you know what? It's even based on more than that, kind of quietly buying things, actually, people like the heart of America's peaceful protest. I'm like. But it's also quietly shopping, to be honest. Like, that's really the way I feel. Like, yes. Like, when you think of America, do you think of just people screaming in the streets? Not really. I think of, like, A nice mall, like a suburban mall, you get a cup of coffee, buy a couple of things, like that's the thing. You can quietly shop. You're also honoring the traditions of America. Maybe the only you should. The only tradition of America that you should like. Free speech is a tradition. Protest is a tradition. It's not the only tradition. Why honor that as the only tradition? Honor, honor a few other traditions. Going out to eat, having a cocktail, buying things. Those are traditions. It's not the only tradition to go out and yell and scream in the street. There's other traditions. There's lots of other traditions. You can have a family, go to a little league game, whatever. If your kids in it, not if it's not. Creep. But you know what I mean? Like there's other traditions. It's not the only tradition we have. Well, America's built on free speech. Yes, but also buying things, you can do that in the same way that I'd say just. Well, you know, I wouldn't say that. The entire country is about buying things. The entire country is not about protesting. It's just not.
