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At Energy Trust of Oregon, we understand that energy isn't just what happens when you flip a switch. It's what happens afterwards. It's a home that can provide both shelter and peace of mind. It's a business that can run more efficiently and keep their dream alive. And it's communities that can thrive today and flourish tomorrow. That's energy. And that's why we partner with local utility companies to help you save energy and lower costs. For cash incentives and resources that can help power your life, visit energytrust.org Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the CBS Evening News. My name is Tim Dillon. I want to first start by thanking Barry Weiss for giving me the opportunity to sit here with you at the iconic CBS News desk and deliver the news. CBS is a great American institution. I also want to speak directly to people who feel that there may be some changes coming at CBS or that the network isn't going to be recognizable. Nothing could be further from the truth. Here at cbs, we have a journalistic commitment to integrity, giving you both sides or all sides of every issue that matters to you. Barry is committed to delivering fearless, unbiased journalism. And she is incredibly aware of what a shill you people think she is, but she is not. She is not a shill, and nor am I. I want to thank the Ellison family. I want to thank Paramount. I want to thank everybody who invested severely in me and Barry and the whole team at the Free Press. The investments made were intense. They were severe. And I want to thank everyone who took hundreds of millions, if not billions of dollars to make sure that you are getting fearless, unbiased news coverage from a team that's only agenda is the truth or only agenda is the truth. That is the biggest thing that we are trying to do here. We are not trying to come on here and spin and say, hey, hey, you anti Semite pigs, eat your slop. We're not trying to say that. We're trying to say the world is very big and there's a lot of people that have a lot of opinions that need to be corrected. And here at CBS News, we are going to devote every waking minute of our day to correcting all of you very nicely. You're barely going to notice it's happening. You're barely going to notice. We're there. So for Tim Dillon and the thing about the beard, which makes it so difficult is that it really does. I have sensitive skin and it's very hard to speak in this beard. We got this. What is this, a Hasidic Jew costume? At Spirit Halloween Rabbi. This is a rabbi costume at Spirit Halloween to of course, by the way, it's a happy day. It's a great day. We're celebrating this day. It's a national holiday. It's, I believe, the day that the Free Press, Barry Weiss's blog, was bought for $1 trillion. It is now valued at what PetroChina is valued at. And she will be taking over CBS News. So are the oldest and most vulnerable members of our society will be getting news directly from Barry Weiss, who's a friend of mine who I like. I tend to like these types. I really do. And, and I enjoy her and I wish her well and I'm wishing her the best. I know that it seems like we're poking fun here and we are a little bit. Because let's be honest, CBS is about to just become God Only Knows. I mean, it's going to be number one. It's tranny tv. So they're all they're going to talk about is gender goblinism and then they're going to talk about Israel. Most likely. That's what it's going to oscillate. It's going to oscillate between somebody in the, on the girls swim team has a cocktail, which is their big issue. And then also, hey, how good of a job is Netanyahu doing good or great? What say you? You know, so you're going to have all of those debates, you know, how best to kill a Palestinian. How does it, is it, should it be quick? We don't know. So you're going to have all of that @ CBS News, CBS News. Very interesting that the establishment is now, you know, Barry Wise was somebody who was like way outside the mainstream. She worked at the New York Times and then left, right, because like they went, they went super woke and she was like Persona non grata. And she then launched her own thing. And she's very independent in this, in, in the sense that she wasn't linked to, you know, Viacom or, or, you know, ap, Associated Press or any of these, these conglomerates, these big media companies. So she started the Free Press, but she had a lot of backing. She had a lot of financiers come in that backed her very early on with a lot of money that, that pumped her up and she created the Free Press. Again, full disclosure, I've done events with them. They've paid me very well one time and I've done events with them and I enjoy her and I think she's charming and smart. Is Barry Weiss interested In a unbiased look at the Middle East? I don't know. Maybe not. Maybe not. Perhaps not. And I think that maybe that's what's bothering the staffers at cbs. Because CBS is an old. Now you remember who watches cbs. People that watch CBS their entire night is getting from the kitchen to the chair. The entire night of an average viewer of CBS is getting from the kitchen to the chair. They make a plan to get from the kitchen to the chair. They walk into the kitchen, they're in the kitchen, they find some type of food that they believe their system can still handle after all of these years. They eat a little bit of that food and then they migrate. It's migration. It's like a refugee coming from Cuba to Florida, except they're just trying to get to their chair in their living room and then they turn on the CBS evening News. Okay, again, the median age of a primetime viewer of CBS is 67.8, almost 68 years old. But by the way, that's the median. So we know that there's far older as well. And the people that are watching CBS are elderly people who are. They kind of don't know what's going on, let's be honest. So I think maybe they're trying to bring in Barry to like make it young and hip hop. They're trying to like, she's gonna like jazz it up and make it like younger and hipper and like cooler and whatever. And then also provide the old people the content they want, you know, which is, you know, predominantly fear based and misleading. And as long as the content remains fear based and misleading, it will be good content and they will eat it up until they go on that final pilgrimage to wherever. But we, we congrats to Barry. A great gig. CBS is an old clunker of a car. Nobody who's young respects it. Nobody's getting their news anymore from cable that is under 40. Nobody is reading these papers anymore. Half the time I read them because I have this dumb show. Most people are getting their news directly now from a person who's being bombed. That's who's the news is now. The news is directly from someone who's literally being bombed at the mall. Like, there is no more article about the bombing. Someone whose family just got incinerated in a fire is on a phone telling you what happened. Please help me, Help me. So there's not a ton of editorializing to be done now. We're just getting it directly from the horse's mouth. Like the people that are being Skinned alive in their homes, burnt to death, heads exploding in a kind of a hurricane of fire in an inferno, skin melting, eye sockets out. Those are the people that are now on the phone telling you what your government is funding. Okay, so that's even. I gotta get rid of this because it's even. It's kind of. It's kind of bothering my neck. Even when I feel like. I feel like with the beard it feels anti Semitic, but. But it's not. It's actually. By the way, here's what's funny about this whole thing. Truly is, is actually funny. It's actually funny. There's nothing less anti Semitic than this, than what I'm doing. Stacking two bagels to represent the Twin Towers. Having managed Evans Wine and dressing in this costume is actually the least anti Semitic thing anyone has ever done. So. But in that. And that's what's funny about the world is you see it and immediately go, oh my God, I bet that's so rat. That's offensive and crazy. But this is the type of thing the Free press should be defending, right? We hope the Free Press is defending this and sharing this clip. We imagine the Free press will be sharing this clip. Yes. Yes or yes? Laughing at life is easier when you actually feel good. Between processed foods, environmental toxins, and the stress of just existing in today's world, feeling run down has become the norm. But your body wasn't meant to feel this way. Armor Colostrum is nature's original superfood, packed with over 400 bioactive nutrients that fortified gut health, supercharged immunity, fuel stamina, revitalize hair growth and help you function at your best once again. Because keeping up with the chaos of, of modern life is a lot more fun when you have the energy to do it. We worked out a special offer for my audience. Receive 30% off your first subscription order. Go to armored.com Tim or enter Tim to get 30% off your first subscription order. That's a R M R A dot com, Tim. That's a R M R A.com Tim. But the news now has gone from like a guy and he'd be sitting at a desk and he'd be a good looking guy like David Muir. Get up the picture of David Muir because he's a hottie and he's not purely white. There's something else going on. And you kind of imagine him at a bar and he's having a glass of scotch and then a woman walks in. Maybe like a Catherine Zeta Jones back in the day. Not now. I know, she's older now and David Muir is at a bar and he's that type of guy that you imagine nailing like a Hollywood a lister. He's just a good looking guy and he has that face that seems like he cares. And then that guy would get on the news and he would go, the continued conflict in the Middle east has been incredibly deadly and unfortunate. And the people in their houses would go, yeah, yeah, well, that sucks. That's tough. You know, that's a sad thing. And now. But you removed, you're kind of removed from it because you don't really know what's going on. And then they'd show like a few. They'd show some bombs, it'd be some lights, there'd be some things going on and off. And you'd go, yeah, that's bad. And then he'd go, the terrorism, that is being Pratt, you know, like the terrorists. And it would say that word a lot. It would be like the terrorism and the terror. And then you go, right, right, right. Terrorists, yeah. Gotta root them out, get them, smoke them out of their hole. Remember all the George W. Bush got to smoke them out of their hole. Get him, got them good. Get them, root them out. Bush was the first one after this whole thing happened, he goes, they're going to have to do some things, not be too nice. George W. Bush came out, was like, yep, I'm no fan of terrorists. And he's like, you're going to have to go into these places. And it's not because guerrilla warfare. And listen, some of that is understandable, inevitable we get is not nice. You know, guerrilla warfare, warfare in cities is not pretty. The Pentagon's planning, by the way, what the Pentagon's planning. They're planning to have it here, so. And it's not nice. And they're planning actually to have it here. The Pentagon for many, many years has been looking at what happens when the population just gets a little too excited. But you would have a guy like David Muir and he'd be out there and there'd be this filter and you would be understanding what's happening in a geopolitical context. Right? A geopolitical context. Like you'd be understanding like that there are things that are beyond our understanding that can't really be, you know, fleshed out fully. Here we're just gonna use words that give you the idea that it's, it's, it's terrible and unfortunate and it's a prolonged. That's one of the prolonged. It's a prolonged Conflict, it's a. Terrorism and extremism. Radical extremism. Radical terrorism. Extremism. Prolonged conflict. Conflicts, terrorism, civilians, sadly, death, you know, and all of these things. And it just. And again, you're 70, you're watching, you're watching the news, you know what I mean? The pill's kicking in and you're coming back and forth. There's a piece of pie that's lodged in your esophagus that isn't going down, it's breaking down in the lower range of your esophagus. So you're breathing through the pie and you're going, and then intermittently, David Muir's coming in and explaining Gaza to you. And that's used. That was the news. Now the news is your, your, your daughter comes home. Because nobody used to care about anything, by the way. Kids didn't care about anything ever. No one cared about anything. I was a child. No one really cared. Nobody was engaged. 16 year old girls were not screaming about colonialism in, in 1997. That's not what was going on. But now how you get the news is your daughter comes in and she's really upset about something she saw on Tik Tok. And, and then she goes, look at this. And then she hands you the phone and then you're watching. There's a girl on TikTok and she's like standing on a mound of rubble, okay, and she's going, my family was burned. They were burned alive. Can you come get me? My family was burned. And, and, and then you have to explain to your daughter, you got to go, honey, there's always people being burned alive in our world. What do you mean? Honey, you're so lucky. That's why I tell you to never complain about anything. You're so lucky to get on a bus in our little, little, you know, Pacific Northwest suburb with our crisp air and our alpine lakes. And you're so lucky to get on a bus and go to a school and have your biggest problem be that Sarah doesn' want to be friends with you anymore. I tell you, friendships, they change. People grow apart and then sometimes they reconnect later on. Remember when we had that talk? You're so lucky that that's your biggest problem because there's many people your age that are being burned alive right now in their homes. They're being burned alive in their homes and they're watching their parents burn. And the thing about fire is that you scream while you're being burned. Honey, this is something that people don't realize, but Actually, while you're engulfed in flames, you are still screaming and you can still hear it. And it's a terrible way to die, to be burned alive while you still scream. And that's happening all over the world all the time. And honey. And why is it happening? Why can't it stop? Why are we funding it? Why don't you care? Hey, hey, calm down. The world is very complicated and very big. It's a big world. The world is very big. And in a big, complicated world where there's lots of different people, some of them are going to burn each other alive, some of them are going to cook each other in pots, and there's just not much we can do about it. But what I'd like you to do is, is, is stop getting so upset about it. And then they go, this is why they had to ban TikTok. They don't care about your kids mental health, by the way. They don't. All they give them is poison little waffle bites. I mean, that's all children are given from the time in this country they're three until they hit puberty, which they're now hitting at like 10, by the way. Like, kids are going through puberty, women are fully pregnant at 12 years old, smoking cigs on welfare. And. And it's because they're eating these little. These little waffle. These little waffle bites and little pancake crisps and all kinds of weird fruity dinner. And you know what they really are is little tranny bites. Because it does change, you know, and people become trans from the breakfast cereal they have, you know, the thing with the, you know, Count Chocula and then the smacks that frog, all of these things. So all. So these kids are poisoned with little, you know, French toast, you know, hot fudge sundae, little, you know, they. They'll put like a little, like some type of like little mini cake and then that becomes a cereal, like a, you know. Right, right. Common sweeteners may be accelerating puberty in kids. Yeah, whatever. It's not a science show. I'm not going to go into the whole thing here. But my point is that all of these sugar cereals drive your kids insane. They spike their insulin, they crash and God. And by the way, anyone who's genuinely trans, you know, we obviously love and support you. Look at me, I'm literally identifying as a rabbi right now. But, you know, I think, you know, there's a lot of like, hey, a little social contagion. I want to be cool too, which is fine. And not for every. It's more the women that are doing that. The women, the trans women, the dudes want to be women are kind of more legit. And then also, like some of the women who want to be men are clearly legit. But I just say, hey, everyone, let's not do the hormones early. Let's just wait a little bit until we're totally sure, totally certain, and then you do you. I don't care. It doesn't matter. But, so. But we don't care about your kids mental health. We would not feed them the food we do if we cared about their mental health. We never would do that. We wouldn't. You know, the diet of everything they get, really, in this country, the pressure that's put on them. All these kids that have to get into Ivy League schools, some of them kill themselves. There was a school in la, Harvard Westlake. These kids were under so much pressure to get into top colleges that they. I believe they hung themselves or one of them might have shot themselves. I'm just saying how terrible it is, the pressure that is put on children in this country to excel. Now the opposite of that is my fat, useless parents putting no pressure on me to do anything. Also not good, by the way, Footnote. But I'm just saying we don't care about the kids health. The reason that we wanted to ban TikTok had nothing to do with bullying and it had nothing to do with mental health. It was the fact that kids were starting to look at the world and go, why is this like this? Why are we. Why is this happening? Why is everybody getting killed? And then parents had to have these really uncomfortable conversations with their children about the fact that, hey, it's just part of the game. It's part of the game. It's part of the game. So that they had to ban TikTok, which didn't work, but they did try. And who knows, it may soon work. We don't know, but I'm telling you right now. Yet two tragic years at LA's most elite private school at Harvard Westlake, four students, two alumni and one parent have all taken their own lives. And that's very sad. All right, I don't want to read the article, but I am. I'm not lying to you. It's true. And a lot of these people are taking their own lives because they're under pressure to succeed and to excel. And we do that to children, whether it's in sports, whether it's in academics. So we're not a country that prioritizes Anybody's mental health. Nobody's. Not adults. Not adults, not adult. We don't prioritize anybody's mental health. We don't. We never have. We don't. So any time somebody goes, actually, we got to start thinking about the mental health, there's another agenda. It's easy to see there's actually another agenda. There's. Does this come across as anti Semitic with the curls? I'm only wondering with the curls because this is how the costume came at Spirit Halloween. Many people ask me all the time about online businesses and online commerce, e commerce. Most people ask me about this when they're down on their luck. People that are suffering from food insecurity or houselessness will often ask me about e commerce and online activity. Can I get a, Can I run a business online? Is what many of them will say. And I will tell them, absolutely you can. But the biggest issue that most online businesses have, okay, is scaling. How do you scale? And I explain this to people. I go out in the streets, to missions, to all these different places, and I explain this to people. And Shipstation is the answer because users of ShipStation report scaling three times faster than average, allowing them to reinvest more into their business with the time and money that they are saving. Okay? Shipstation allows you to automate shipping tasks and manage orders in an easy to use day dashboard. I'm telling you, I love Shipstation because I've seen friends go from fledgling mom and pop businesses to literally some of the largest companies you'll ever see using Shipstation because they can ship. I have a friend that makes little doodads and knickknacks for the holidays and ships them to people. And people love them because they're made with care, okay? They're not made in China with communism. They're made by people in America who sit in their homes and make the little, little, little pieces. And maybe it'll be a. Maybe it'll be an animal on a frozen lake or pond, or maybe it'll be a tree. Whatever it is, maybe it's a little turkey. Gobble, gobble. What it is. If you. These are the little knickknacks. When you walked in your grandmother's house when you were young and she would have these little knickknacks, you understood what life was about, okay? Now everything is cold and modern. It's like a neurologist's office and you walk into a holiday and it looks like someone's going to tell you you have a tumor because there's nothing in anyone's home, everything is about finishes. Slate, gray, black, satanic stone reminds you of Mordor, okay? It reminds you of the ring, it reminds you of power, okay? You look at the way these homes are designed and the way these kitchens are designed, and the theme of a lot of these homes is the only God is death. And that is not what we're trying to do here. We want to have an E commerce business with little knickknacks, little things. You could ship them out, little fun things, little, you know, misery. All the penguins face don't want, you know, having these little ceramic things in a house makes a family mean something, okay? And my friend has this little business where they'll make something fun and they ship it. And they use shipstation because it allows them to centralize label, printing, order management, tracking returns and inventory in one easy to use platform. So you don't have to manage your back office. Your back office is being managed for you. It's being automated. It's kind of amazing. And then you can also sell the little things that you do. It's so important to have these things in your home. People call them clutter. That's what people. We had a lot of these anti clutter shows like that Japanese woman, Marie Kondo, and Hoarders, where they found the most extreme examples of clutter. Basically, people that had mental problems and they said, oh, we should clean them out. And the result of this has been the destruction of culture in America. Little by little, trinket by trinket. Fun little ashtray from Key west, gone, okay? Little snow globe from Vegas, gone. We call them clutter, but they're kitschy little knickknacks that used to fill our lives with pride and joy, okay? And used to be able to say, we went on a trip and we got this little ashtray. We got a fun little whatever. We got a mug, okay? Now, you go to Anguilla with your friends and the only thing you could say is, oh, we got away with that girl we murdered. Hey, we murdered a girl. And we got away with it because your body went out to sea. Think of the tides. Went that way. She didn't wash back up, okay? But there was one time in this country when you would go and you would drive somewhere in a Winnebago and get fun knickknacks, okay? You didn't go with your boss to Anguilla and your friend and break a woman's neck and then put her in the ocean and then the tides brought her out to sea because it was some type of riptide event. And then her body was eaten by sharks. And it didn't wash up on the beach because if it did, there would have been DNA tests and they would have called you back there and it would have been a whole big thing. But it wasn't, okay, but that's not the way it used to be. Used to walk in on Thanksgiving and there'd be a little table in the living room with knickknacks and trinkets from fun little places. And a lot of them were religious. A lot of them were religious. And these little knickknacks and trinkets and fun little baskets with little robin's eggs and little birds and little animals, little cute little ceramic foxes and maybe a little guy playing a fiddle. That was better, okay, than going to Anguilla and committing a murder. You murdered someone on a beach, okay? Whether it was an accident or not, and I don't buy that it was an accident. You did it. You did it and it'll haunt you. And you see her face every time you close your eyes. You can also automate repetitive or tedious tasks to save time and reduce errors, because there are so many errors that you make when you are just focusing on the most important part of your business, which is the origination of leads and the sales. Sales is the engine of any business. Sales and marketing content is king. Marketing is queen. Gary Vaynerchuk. Gary Vee actually, what I'm saying is that there's a revolution happening. A return to clutter, a return to stuff, a return to things, a return to mementos, a return to memorabilia. And I think a lot of this is very good and very positive. And I think that if people don't start embracing things like this, okay, it's going to be a very. We're going to live in a very empty, clinical hellscape where people are just literally going to islands and murdering people and getting away with it. Okay? Upgrade to shipping software that does more than keep up with your business. Shipstation propels it forward. Start your 60 day free trial at shipstation.com and use code Tim Dillon. That shipstation.com code Tim Dylan. But my point is this. If we had tick tock during the Iraq war, kids would have been going nuts. You, you know, people were flipped out during the Iraq war and they were only watching that heavily edited cable news. We had the Internet, but it was, you weren't, you know, there were documentaries made, but you weren't getting that. Live up to the minute. Live feed of what was going on in the world. Right now. You are confronted with every horror. So there is no more news. Here's my point. This is the point. There's always a point. Actually, there is. There's no more news. The news doesn't exist. The news doesn't really exist anymore. Everything is pretty accessible now. You can watch the speeches being given by a lot of the people that are making news. You can watch a war zone on your phone. Does it look like they're avoiding civilian casualties? You know what I mean? All of this is very accessible to you. And you can see it and go, huh? There is no news. Doesn't really matter. What Barry Weiss does with the CBS doesn't really matter. These institutions are done. We are getting it direct from the source now. We're getting it directly from the regions of the world that it is happening. That doesn't mean we're not subject to misinformation and AI and eventually deep fakes and all of that. Obviously we are. But you have more information now, raw information, in your hand than you've ever had before. Children that are growing up right now are never going to go back to watching the CBS Evening News. They're never going to go back to watching the CBS Evening News. God bless the Ellisons and Paramount and whoever. It's just a dying brand. It's a dinosaur. The medium is crumbling. They have lost the public. And more importantly, they've lost young people completely. Because young people are realizing they're being propagandized at a level that older people gladly accepted. It was normal. It was fine. Older people were okay with being propagandized as long as they got a few things out of it. The young people getting nothing out of it. Wait. You're lying to us. And I can't own a house. I can barely have a job. I have to be forced into the gig economy. I get to deliver burritos. And I have to listen to this bullshit. And I have to pretend that this is all real. And I can't afford frozen yogurt with my girlfriend. And I have to go along with this horseshit. And I have nothing and no money for it. If you're doing something, you want to get something out of it. If you are going to delude yourself and believe the bullshit on the news, you have to get a little bit out of it. And what Americans got for many years was a patch of dirt, a little driveway, and a chance. They don't have any of that anymore. We've taken that all away from Them. We've pushed them into a gig economy. We've pushed them into the hellscape of rent that goes up every single year. And the propaganda is actually getting worse. It's getting more disconnected from reality, more Orwellian, more, less. Or we're asking them to believe crazier and crazier things and taking away the little bit that most people had. People don't want to be billionaires. People want a house, a family, a little retirement plan, some money in the bank if there's an emergency. They want health care. They want some kind of steady job. They want a community with people that share their values. They're getting none of that right now. They're getting none of that. They're getting Kris Jenner's third head. Kris Jenner has a third head. And everybody's excited by it. People will tell you, the people that don't have any of those things will tell you that they like Kris Jenner's new head, or they're excited that Taylor Swift, a billionaire, is going to marry Travis Kelce, the man who was birthed by Pfizer. And people have to live vicariously now through that. Why are the kids turning on the engines of propaganda? Number one, they're too smart. The technology is there. They know they're being lied to. Here's number two. You're. You're taking all of the things away from them that this entire system was supposedly purportedly set up to help them achieve. So if I'm a member of the ruling class, I'm. I'm going, what are we doing here? What exactly is happening? Uh, we're asking these people to believe this bullshit, that Jeffrey Epstein is just, like, a weirdo rich guy. No one else did anything wrong. We don't have any of the files, and the videos aren't real. It's actually nothing. Nothing happened. Everything's fine. He never had any relationship with our intelligence agency or another intelligence agency. He had no relationships with anybody. Nobody did anything. He was just a weird rich guy. Don't worry about it. We're asking people to believe all of this stuff and telling them. And the reward for that. The reward for that, okay, is to deliver a Caesar salad to someone. That's the reward. Your job now is to deliver a Caesar salad. Not. Not that it would have been right to buy the bullshit anyway, even if you had the things. But I'm just telling you how the country ran for a hundred years. That's what I'm telling you. I'm not saying it was morally correct to Go. I'll take the house and the car. And you fucking kill everybody. I'm telling you, that's how it worked. That's how the country ran forever. You shut your mouth. You go. I don't want to get into that. I don't know yet. It's a government lab. Kids are disappearing. Shut up. Eat your lasagna. Your mother made lasagna. That's the way it worked. Now everybody's, you know, in a broken home trying to get some job as a personal assistant, you know, for some woman who's on her third head. So you're scrounging around your car to find change to get Del Taco, and you're getting a call from a woman who's bandaged up because she has her third head. And she's asking you to go to the pharmacy for her and get the injection she needs to inject into her face so that it doesn't fall off. And then you're going on your phone and all you hear is, help me. I'm being burned. My family is being burned. Why are you doing this to me? Why are you burning me? Do you see how it's an unsustainable model? Do you see that? Do you understand that? Am I. Am I Completely. You know what's interesting about these Trader Joe's bagels? They look better than you think they would. They actually aren't. 9 11. Not good. I'm an alcoholic. Unless I would try the wine. Prize picks. Run your game. Prize picks. 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Some things are affordable and effective but not easy. Some things are effective, affordable and easy. But they support international terrorist organizations. So when it's affordable, easy and you know it's good, start building credit with Kickoff today and you can get your first month for as little as $1. That's 80% off the normal price. You go to getkickoff.com G E T K I K O F F.com Tim okay must sign up via getkickoff.com to activate offer offer plus new kickoff customers first month only subject to approval Offer Subject to change average 1st year credit score impact at plus 84 points Vantage score 3 between January 2023 and January 2024 for kickoff credit account users who started with a score below 600 who paid on time and who had no delinquencies or collections added to their credit profile during the period. Late payments may negatively impact your credit score. Individual results may vary, but my point is this. And again, nothing about this suggests cultural insensitivity. I hope it doesn't. It's a costume sold at Spirit. I was trying to get a shrimal. Actually, I was trying to get a Shrinel. And I called very connected people, very high up. And unfortunately, because it's Saturday and it's. What do they call it, Shabbat? I couldn't get a Shrimal. So I'm in my car and we pulled over, I was with a friend of mine. And then we're going through this very orthodox area of Los Angeles, and yes, go, go, go. Make it big. That's how I was going to show up here. That's exactly what I was going to do. But we couldn't, so we had to go to fucking Spirit Halloween. You'd think I'd be past this in my career, but I'm not. And I'm making an important point about the global nature of whatever. Here's the point. We're in my car, we're driving through a Los Angeles, a very orthodox area, when there was. What were they, 15 or 16? Yeah. There was a bunch of kids running around in the garb. So we pull over the Rollie, and I said, and it's Jewish kids. So, you know, the obvious is weird to just talk to random children, right? It's odd. Obviously not for everyone in our country. Okay. But we. I. I say, come here. I call them over. And I called them over and I said, hey, what's up? Can I ask you a question? They go, yeah. I go, the hat, the Schreimel. Could I get one? And they go, hey, man. They go, we're not that sect. They go, are you Jewish? I go, no, but my car is. And they laughed. It got a laugh. And then I said, I'm a comedian. And. And I. I want a Schreimal for something I'm doing. They go, what's your name? And I go, tim Dylan. He goes, my mom listens to you. And I said, thank you. Thank you for the support from all the communities. And. And then we joked around a little bit with them, but then. And they were explaining to us that the shrine was a whole different thing, and it's a lot of money. One of the kids goes, it's expensive. And I was like, we got it. But beautiful interaction there. And I. I believe that. I actually believe in all of the cultures getting together. I really do. But what I, what I'm, what I'm, what I'm saying here is that, can get this out of here now, please? I'm just staring at this picture of the shrine, but I do love the hat. Uh, but we tried to do better than this, but at the end of the day we had to go to spirit Halloween and BevMo and get this little set. But what my, my point here, if there is a point, and there always is a point, is that I'm excited to see what Barry does with cbs. I really am. I, I'm, I'm excited. I, I, I'm excited to see what it, what it is. I'm happy about it. Uh, I, I, hopefully I will be considered to be a correspondent. I think I have the look for it. Uh, and I, I'm very bullish on the future of the, at least the next six months to a year of whatever train wreck that will be because down the road it's. All the kids are off, they're turning it off. All of these people think they can wrestle younger people back to these platforms and back to the bullshit. It's not going to happen. It's certainly not going to happen. When none of them, you know, could afford a bottled water. It's certainly not going to happen. You can't impoverish and immiserate and sink a bunch of people into debt and then say, and hey, and we got a bunch of fairy tales for you all to believe now. And now it's story time. Hey, you're all broke. You're all broke and have nothing. Now it's story time. Now we're gonna tell you how it all works. Jeffrey Epstein was a magical magician that lived in a castle. Like, you can't have people running around chomping Adderalls, staying up till three in the morning writing a dissertation on God knows what to get a meaningless degree that they have shoved all of their hopes and dreams into that's gonna result in nothing. They're in mountains of debt, they're living in a little complex and they're spending way too much of their money on rent, car insurance. They have no healthcare. They hope to God nothing happens to them. They're going to urgent care, they're buying Z packs off the street, and then they're trying to date each other, trying to find someone to love and to commit to and have a family with. It's all very difficult. It's all incredibly difficult. All the while being told they're special and Unique geniuses. And this entire period of their life is gonna be very valuable to them. When they're incredibly successful, they can turn around and talk about how the hard times built character. It's the mother load, as Sam Harris, our friend, would say, the motherlode of bad ideas. To tell a bunch of people that they should spend most of their life being delusional psychopaths hoping that things work out. And I think people are waking up a little bit and going, that doesn't really make sense anymore. And I think some of the stories you're telling me are also responsible for why I'm in the position I'm in. People are kind of waking up to that. They're going, I think the Epstein thing's a lie. But I also think the like that I'm gonna be okay is a lie. And if I work hard and I'm honest is a lie. And if I obey the rules is a lie. And if I'm respectful of other people, it's a lie. And if I don't call things out that are blatantly obvious to everyone, it's a lie. I think all of the lies are actually enforcing all of the other lies and I don't wanna believe any of them. And it's radicalizing quite a few people. Not me. Look at me, I'm fine. But most people out there having real problems with radicalization. I'm seeing younger people to the far left, to the far right, you know, and even worse to Taylor Swift. That's even more disturbing. I mean, I've spoken to narco communists and Nazis and there is nothing more disturbing than talking to someone who's really, really, really into Taylor Swift. There's something very disturbing about that. At least there's a historical precedent for being a Stalinist or a Nazi. This fucking Taylor Swift fucking shit is absurd. It's extreme. And there's no way to contextualize it in a way that makes me, makes me hopeful at all for the future. Nazis eventually lose. So do communists historically. But these Swifties, I don't know. I don't know that they will lose the breed of normie that they represent, I feel is going to do a tremendous amount of damage and already is to our society. This breed of white, Converse, shoe wearing, Austin city limits going idiot that runs around eating caviar and following influencers and believing that life is about going on vacations. These people are going to destroy civilization at a faster pace than any of the political radicals in my estimation. 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And if you don't have a nice mattress, that's not what happens. You wake up constantly. You're tossing, you're turning, you're kind of insane. If you don't really sleep, you're technically kind of drunk. You're not getting enough oxygen to your brain. You're wandering around, you're angry, you lash out at people, sometimes violently. You are a danger to yourself and others. You're putting yourself in a bad position with friends and family. Some people may get in car accidents. They may be performing tasks with heavy machinery and injure themselves. They could be driving a boat and not realize they're not in enough water and actually end up on kind of a sandbar. All of this can happen if you're not properly rested. Helix is here for your sleep. You can sleep easy. No matter what you did on Helix, you may have killed someone in a car accident and gotten away with it, but with a Helix mattress, you sleep soundly all night, no problems waking up maybe once to use the restroom, look at yourself in the mirror and go, I can do this. I can do it. I'll just get up tomorrow like nothing happened. If you've killed someone in a car accident but got away with it and hit and run, you need a mattress that is a good sleeper. Helix.comtimd helix.comtimd if you've done a horrible thing and you need to sleep it off, helix Tim Dillon comedy.com for any of your live needs, we're on the road this fall and then this winter will be in other places. But we're getting the hour together in some of the best clubs in America and then moving on to theaters. But you can see me in Columbus, Ohio. You could see me in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia or Abu Dhabi. You could see me in Oklahoma City, in Phoenix, Arizona, in Fort Lauderdale, in Chicago, in San Jose, in Salt Lake City. You could see me in Chicago. I think I said you can see me as well in Orange County, California, in Brayan. You can see me in Colorado, Tim Dillon comedy and Houston, Tim Dillon comedy dot com. That'll take us through January. That is the rub. Much successful to Barry Weiss. Much success. Mazel. Mazel. And we are very excited and hopefully will be chosen as a correspondent for the reinvention of CBS News. And, and you know what this means. With Barry taking over cbs, the last two words that octogenarians are going to say before they collapse into cardiac arrest on their couch is human shields. They're gonna go, they use them as human shields. What are they supposed to do?