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Tim Dillon
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show. There's clearly a lack of trust in the government and a lot of it centers around the FBI. So here to clear the air and answer some questions is the director of the FBI. Please welcome Cash Patel.
Cash Patel
Hello, buddy. Cash Patel here. Cash is the name and the game.
Tim Dillon
Thank you, Cash. I appreciate that. Thank you for joining me. Can you tell me anything at all about Jeffrey Epstein?
Cash Patel
Oh, well, he was very tall and he lived in New York City. Just like Empire State Building. Yes, Bigger, bigger, bigger. Much taller.
Tim Dillon
Yes, I understand that, but he had this island and, you know, that's what we're all curious about. What the hell was he doing on that island?
Cash Patel
Women swimming, drinking out of a coconut. That was nuts.
Tim Dillon
Yes.
Cash Patel
Or having sex with children.
Katie Porter
Yes.
Tim Dillon
But that's the part, Cash, that we're. That we're. We're really curious about. Can you tell us more about this island and how it operates?
Cash Patel
You know, every food delivery robot works for FBI, and it does.
Tim Dillon
Okay.
Cash Patel
Every food robot works for the FBI. I see what they see. If you block one of the robots on the sidewalk, you know, to get the delivery. No food, nada. Nothing.
Tim Dillon
Yes.
Cash Patel
And making me wait.
Tim Dillon
Yeah.
Cash Patel
To bring the food to the person.
Tim Dillon
Well, that's not good. Cash, can you at least tell me about Thomas Matthew Crooks, the guy that shot President Trump?
Cash Patel
Who?
Tim Dillon
Well, Cash, can you tell me anything about what's going on at the FBI right now? What have you learned since you've taken over the FBI?
Cash Patel
Oh, I've been. I've been so busy with FBI. You know, I thought. For me, I thought it was a Federal Bureau of Banking. I didn't know which stands FBI. I thought FBI stands for Federal Bureau of Investments. That's what I thought it was.
Tim Dillon
You thought it was more of an investing thing?
Cash Patel
Yeah, investment banking. Investment. You know, cash is the name and that's the game.
Tim Dillon
That's right. That's right. I agree. Do you enjoy your job at the FBI? Is it a fun job for you?
Cash Patel
Oh, it has been so much fun. You know, every day I sleep under the covers and I do, you know, because I'm So busy.
Tim Dillon
Well, do you have anything else to tell the people? Anybody? Any final thoughts to people that may not trust you or they may not trust the FBI? Is there anything that you want to say to them that might make them feel better?
Cash Patel
Oh, I am sorry. Such. I've been such a Pisces because I've been solving all the crises. I apologize. I mean, I do, you know.
Tim Dillon
Yeah, well. Well, that's good. Well, listen, Cash, but I think a lot of people. You've cleared up a lot today.
Cash Patel
I think I did, actually. I mean, you know. You know, ask me anything you want to, you know.
Tim Dillon
Well, yeah. Yeah. Well, no, just, you know what a lot of people think. Your girlfriend is in the Mossad. What do you say to that?
Cash Patel
Mossad doesn't do it massage. Does it like she does it massage. You know, not a massage massage.
Tim Dillon
Well, Keshe Patel, I thank you again. You're. You're such a. An important part of our country, and we hope that you continue to work as hard as you've been working.
Cash Patel
I've been working so hard. That's the reason I've been sleeping under the covers.
Tim Dillon
Yes, yes, yes. Well, that makes a lot of sense. Kash Patel, everyone. And we'll see you in Valhalla.
Cash Patel
Valhalla. Valhalla to you. I thought Valhalla. Wahala. What's that?
Tim Dillon
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Katie Porter
Do you know?
Tim Dillon
I do not know.
Katie Porter
14.4 billion. What's 40% of 14.4 billion?
Cash Patel
So 52.
Tim Dillon
The CEO never knows.
Katie Porter
Pretty good math. $5.6 billion now, by the way, there's.
Tim Dillon
People in a hospital bed going, how does this. Is this Going to. Is this going to turn in my favor? And the answer is no. The answer is no. But it is entertaining because you go in front of Congress and Katie Porter goes, by the way, and that's how she got famous. This is how Katie Porter gets big. This is how she catches the national attention. She brings in the CEOs and she shames them. She brings out her whiteboard and she has that character. Everyone is a character. And her character is crazy. Like, she's a mom and she's had enough. That's her character. She's a mom and she's had enough. You can picture her in the minivan and it smells like a dog, and there's two kids in the back and they're throwing French fries at each other. And she's had enough. And if you're a mom that's had enough in America, Katie Porter is your person. She's not a glamorous woman. She's not especially articulate, but she is a ball of energy. And, and, and it's all brute force with Katie Porter. She's going to tell you the deal. So now it's nice to watch her abuse. And, and after these videos came out, by the way, over@kalshi kalshee.com this, you know, this great site that looks at people's chances and you can bet on it and make money. Her chance of becoming governor in 2026 has plummeted from 40% to 18% on Kalshee. And one of the reasons is because people like Katie Porter aren't just Katie Porter when it's Jamie Dimon. And it's actually childish of Americans to think that this is actually something that many of you should have been. And this is not an endorsement of Katie Porter, by the way. I don't really care if she wins or not. It doesn't matter to me. But I will say it is childish of America. This is something that Americans do all the time, because a lot of you are children, hopefully not the people that listen to this, but many of you were children. And children believe in fairytales. And the fairy tale that many people believed about Katie Porter was. She was only Katie Porter when it was necessary. She was only that rude, you know, boisterous woman fueled by this fiery passion. And it would only ever get directed at CEOs whom you disliked. That was what? That's a fairy tale. No one is just that when it counts. Truly, no one is just that when it counts. Katie Porter's. Katie Porter is. Katie Porter is Katie Porter. If you Fuck up her restaurant order, she's Katie Porter. If you're Jamie Dimon who runs Chase Manhattan, she's Katie Porter. If you're her staff, her husband, who she dumped hot mashed potatoes on his head, you're Katie Porter. Now the idea is you should want a woman like this. You should want a cruel, abusive woman. Because the President now is cruel, abusive and petty and his followers love it because he's also very funny. She's not as funny, but the pearl clutching about Katie Porter and people going, oh, but she's a vicious monster. That's what you want. That's what you people actually want. So again, now let's watch what I'm talking about. Many people don't know what I'm talking about, but I just want to say this before we play this video. Katie Porter is not a nice person. She's not a pleasant person. You wouldn't want to have lunch with her. She's unhappy. There's many things in her life she's unhappy about. But that's the perfect person that you want. You want someone who walks to the Governor's mansion angry. Newsom's not angry. He's good looking, he's got a hot wife, he's a con artist and a criminal and he's just scamming people left and right. He believes in less than nothing. Not nothing, that would be something. Less than nothing. Katie Porter is an angry, vicious, like, like junkyard dog, A, a dog outside of a scrap yard who scares the children walking by. I don't know if that's the worst type of person, but grow up. Of course, she's not just angry at billionaires, she's angry at anyone and everyone. Can you imagine being at Katie Porter's house for a holiday? And how terrible that must be, how horrible it must be to be in her home for a holiday. The stress, the tension, the silences that are only punctuated by her cavernous witch like howl. But by the way, you kind of want that, don't you? Want that? That's kind of what you want. What do you want this woman to be? Nice? She shouldn't care about her aid. She shouldn't treat her aid especially nicely. She shouldn't be terrible to her aid. But here's the thing. Katie Porter is going to tr. It's not. If it was just her aid, it wouldn't be right. If she was just treating people in a lower station than her wrong, wrongly, that wouldn't be right. She doesn't know how to be nice to anyone. That's my point. My point is not that you should abuse the waiter, the waitress, the cook, the chef. I tip people a lot of money. I remember when I had shitty jobs. I'm not saying any of that is right. I'm saying this woman is incapable of being nice to. To anyone. It does not exist. You've never seen it from Katie Porter. She's incapable of doing it. It's why she's effective in the sense that she's been able to get into Congress. It's why that she's known nationally in the media as somebody. She's a bitch. That's it. Full stop. To everyone. She's going back through the McDonald's drive thru in Orange County. She's going back through. There's the barbecue sauce is not in the bed, it's not in the bag or she's parking the car and she's going in. She's going in and she's cutting the line. She's cutting the line. She doesn't know how to be nice. Katie Porter, everyone. Friend of the show.
Katie Porter
Savings for our economy. So I'm on the oversight committee, you might know. And that is where we.
Tim Dillon
Look how nasty, by the way. Look at this. Everyone's gonna get mad about her yelling at the aid. Look how nasty she's being right now. It's not even a particularly controversial question. She's angry. She woke up angry. She just wants to eat French toast. She's so angry right now. Keep going.
Katie Porter
What it showed is if we don't electrify our transportation sector that we're gonna lose more than half a million Californians dying prematurely to air pollution and other problems and the state could get out of my fucking shot.
Guest or Commentator
I wanted to tell you that that's actually incorrect. It's not that it's electric vehicles. It's that if we don't meet the.
Interviewer or Questioner
Commitments under the Paris climate Accord.
Katie Porter
Okay, it does.
Tim Dillon
Okay, so now see, here's the deal. She's got another boom baddie. She's hiring boom baddies. Fatty boom baddies. Everyone's blood sugar in that house is low. Let's just be honest. Everyone's blood sugar in that house is low. Everybody needs a fish taco yesterday. Katie Porter is angry and. But Katie Porter took her medicine. The girl came in, the boom baddie came in and said, hey boss, you're actually wrong about what you're saying, boss. And then Katie Porter goes, yeah, well, you were in my shot before. Go to the other thing where she's. Katie Porter is. Walks out on an Interview because the woman at CBS just said the easiest thing ever. She's like, what are you going to say to Trump voters? And she's like, why would I need them to win? Now, all she had to say, all Katie Porter had to say, because this is the easiest question in politics. You always get this question, what are you going to say to the other side? That's the question. It's the easiest question in politics. And all Katie Porter had to say was, I think people, no matter who they voted for, all care about the same things. They care about their family, they care about their economic security, they care about their communities. It's the easiest answer I could give it. And I'm a comedian and a podcaster, you know, and whatever else epithets are thrown at me on the Internet. But I could have answered that question and anyone could. Katie Porter doesn't want to. Why? She's angry. She's angry that she didn't leave the house in time. She's angry that the dress she bought doesn't look the way she thought it was going to look. She is pissed. And this little blonde bitch who's sitting in front of Katie Porter asks her a question. And Katie Porter goes, fuck this hack. Katie Porter in her head goes, she probably fucked her way into this job. She's a fucking brain dead bimbo. Why should I have to talk to her? I am Katie Porter. I bring out a whiteboard in Congress and I scream at billionaire CEOs, why am I talking to this fucking trollop? But it's the easiest question in politics, by the way. I couldn't think of an easier question. Literally, it's the easiest question because it allows you. The easiest questions in life are the ones you can redirect. Like in the sense that, like you have these prepared talking points. Somebody asks you a question and you go, glad you brought that up. Boom, boom, boom. You hit your points. We believe in strong families, strong community crime. Dick D. Choice beat a.
Guest or Commentator
Easy.
Tim Dillon
Let's see what she does with it. Easiest question in politics. How does Katie Porter respond? Let's go.
Interviewer or Questioner
3% of California voters, who you'll need in order to win, who voted for Trump.
Katie Porter
How would I need them in order to win, ma'?
Tim Dillon
Am?
Interviewer or Questioner
Well, unless you think you're going to get 60% of the vote. You think you'll get 60%?
Guest or Commentator
All.
Interviewer or Questioner
Everybody who did not vote for Trump will vote for you.
Katie Porter
That's what you're In a general election. Yes. If it is me versus a Republican, I think that I will win. The people who did not vote for Trump.
Interviewer or Questioner
What if it's you versus another Democrat?
Katie Porter
I don't intend that to be the case.
Interviewer or Questioner
So how do you not intend that to be the case? Do you. Are you going to ask them not to run?
Katie Porter
No, no. I'm saying I'm going to build the support. I have the support already in terms of name recognition, and so I'm going to do the very best I can to make sure that we get through this primary in a really strong position. But let me be clear with you. I represented Orange County. I represented a purple area. I have stood on my own two feet and won Republican votes before. That's not something every candidate in this race can say. If you're from a deep blue area, if you're from LA or you're from Oakland, you haven't. You don't have an experience.
Interviewer or Questioner
But you just said you don't need those Trump voters.
Katie Porter
But you have me if I needed them to win.
Interviewer or Questioner
So you don't.
Katie Porter
I feel like this is unnecessarily argumentative. What is your question?
Interviewer or Questioner
The question is the same thing I asked everybody, that this is being called the empowering voters to stop Trump's power grab. Every other candidate has answered this question. This is not.
Katie Porter
I said I support it.
Tim Dillon
So.
Interviewer or Questioner
And the question is, what do you say to the 40% of voters who voted for Trump?
Katie Porter
Oh, I'm happy to say that it's the, do you need them to win? Part that I don't understand. I'm happy to answer the question as you have it written, and I'll answer it.
Interviewer or Questioner
And we've also asked the other candidates, do you think you need any of those 40% of California voters to win? And you're saying, no, you don't?
Katie Porter
No, I'm saying I'm going to try to win every vote I can. And what I'm saying to you is.
Interviewer or Questioner
That, well, to those voters. Okay, so.
Ryan Reynolds
So you.
Katie Porter
I don't want to keep doing this. I'm going to call it. Thank you.
Tim Dillon
Is it easy? Here's the thing. It's an easy question. Katie Porter is easily flustered. And this is what happens to people that are easily flustered. They crash out, as the youth would say. She crashed out. Get life insurance right now. You cannot wait. I'm telling you. So many people have an unexpected loss in their life, and the people that have protected their friends and family are always, you know, a step ahead. They're ahead of the game. It's not a complicated process. With Ethos, it's 100% online no medical exam required. You just answer a few health questions. Get a quote in as little as 10 minutes. I'm telling you, you can get same day coverage without ever leaving your house. You can get up to $3 million in coverage, some policies as low as $2 a day billed monthly. Ethos is a trustworthy company that disrupts the traditional life insurance industry. As of March 2025, Business Insider named Ethos number one. No medical exam instant life insurance provider. Three million families have completed their applications and trusted Ethos to help find the right coverage. Ethos has 4.8 out of 5 stars on Trustpilot with over 2,400 reviews. Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get your free quote@ethos.com Tim that's E T H O S.com G I M application times may vary. Rates may vary. Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get up to $3 million in coverage in as little as 10 minutes. Ethos.com Tim but again, Katie Porter doesn't know how to be another thing. Neither does Trump. People just like the thing he is, or enough of them like it. Trump doesn't know how to be something else. Trump is always Trump. He's always Trump. When he's in Israel and he's doing the thing with Miriam Adelson and he goes, you know, hey, I asked Miriam, what country does she like better, Israel or America? She refused to answer. That might mean Israel. He's always doing Trump. He's always, you know, I mean, this is amazing. Take a look at this. This is all. And this is again, you would think if you say to yourself, a lot of people in America have gotten really tired of Bibi Netanyahu and frankly of Israel at this point. And it's because they feel that groups like AIPAC and people like Miriam Adelson have too much influence on US Politics and that the war in Gaza, which hopefully is ending over whatever. I mean, there's a lot of, you know, there's a lot of, there's a lot of talk about it not being over. But let's just, it's over for this week on this show. But a lot of people in this country are questioning the relationship between Israel and the U.S. now he has a major victory here. Now, whether it holds or not, I don't know. But he has a major victory where this thing kind of ends and he could just walk away somewhat unscathed. And I don't mean unscathed meaning like it's still, it is a very, it's very Tough to imagine that younger generations will support Israel the way that older generations have right now. If you look at the numbers. But the, the open wound of Israeli influence on American politics, there's nobody that symbolizes that probably more than Miriam Adelson, a Republican mega donor. This is Trump being Trump, doesn't know how to not be Trump. Play this. Miriam, stand up, please. She really is. I mean, she loves this country. He's being playful. She loves this country. Her and her husband are so incredible. We miss him so dearly. But I actually asked. I'm going to get her in trouble with this. But I actually asked her once, I said, so, Miriam, I know you love Israel. What do you love more, the United States or Israel? She refused to answer. That means. That might mean Israel, I must say. So, I mean, he's being playful. And you realize at this moment, this is when he did the I Wish her well with Ghislaine Maxwell. And this is how rich people talk about people that have had problems, the mega rich. There's a. There's a playfulness. And they don't realize how damning some of what they say is while they're being playful. Because. And I know this because I know more rich people now than I ever have. And what they will reveal in a moment of being playful can be very substantive and, and damning. But again, to them, they are just kind of poking and prodding and having fun, which is the luxury of being a billionaire or a centimillionaire. There's a luxury to not taking it. It's not that serious. That's really what this thing comes down. I asked her what country did she like, this one or that one? And she didn't answer. She. It might mean this one. He's having fun. That's something he would have said at a dinner table with friends. He's saying it in front of the world because he doesn't know how to be anything other than Trump. That's. It's just something to be said. There are certain politicians who are liquid and they go into the shape of whatever container that is holding them. I've accused AOC of being kind of like this, you know, where she's to the left and then not. And then critical of Israel and then not so much. And then she's in front of a Jewish group and she's claiming to be partially Jewish. Whatever. It's just not, you know, obviously, Lindsey Graham is clearly like this, right? A guy who just. He's. He, he hates Trump. He loves Trump. He's a Neocon, he's a populist. It doesn't really matter. He, he's just doing what he thinks he needs to do to survive politically. But then there are people that are like Trump and Katie Porter. They don't know how to be anything other than what they are. So eventually what happens is the moment meets them. The moment meets them. Trump got elected during a time when we were about to run another Bush Clinton campaign and everybody was bored. And then he comes in and the moment meets him. Just like Katie Porter doesn't know how to be anything other than this angry mom with a stain on her shirt. Who's had enough. I've had it up to here. So nobody knows. Yeah. Katie Porter verbally abused then husband and explicit tired fucking idiot, too fucking dumb to operate a phone and she dumped hot mashed potatoes on his head. That's what she did. Katie Porter wants dump scolding mashed potatoes on her then husband's head during a fight resurface divorce documents alleges clips of her fiery temper continue to go viral. She's got a temper, she's an angry woman, she's a potato hurling witch. But don't write her off. I think that would be a mistake. I think that would be a little bit of a mistake. I don't know that Katie Porter's done politically. She might be. She very well might be. But if the Democrats want to play in the sandbox, you're going to need people like Katie Porter. You know, Zoran Mandami is about to win in New York. And a lot of people ask me what I think about that. You know, I'm a New Yorker. I, I've grown up here. I grew up on Long Island. I'm also a Muslim and I'm from Uganda. And that is a lot of things that I share with Zoran. Zoran, here's the way I feel about this. There are lots of things I disagree with Zoran Mandami on. I don't, I don't love the idea of all the public safety stuff, the free buses. I think there's a chance he overregulates and overtaxes and businesses leave New York and that crime will spike because he's going to, you know, send out this group of people with, you know, clipboards as to mental health. You know, instead of actual cops, you're going to have psychopaths on the street. And then the people that are going to be responding to them are like this mental health brigade or whatever they're going to build who will not be armed or trained in the use of force. So they'll be out there, like, reasoning with a guy in a subway who just chucks someone in or whatever. I don't know. And I'm being a little facetious, but I'm. I'm also not. Because that's what they want to do. Maybe it'll work. I don't know. And I don't. I don't. I want it to work. Whatever they want to do, I want to work. I don't want. I. I want the city to thrive and function. It's the greatest city in the world. I'm not one of these people who goes nuts over politics. You know, I really don't. I don't think there's a lot in the world that changes your life more than politics. And we're going to talk about it a little bit in a minute. And it's in its AI. Half of your feed now is AI. You didn't do that. You didn't request that. You didn't ask for that to be the case.
Guest or Commentator
It.
Tim Dillon
It just is. That wasn't political. That's not something necessarily that Congress did. Half of your feed on your phone is artificial intelligence. Now, maybe more than half. Some of you may be less than half. But over the last. And by the way, I'm talking in the last three weeks, I'm not. Maybe even the last two weeks, you know, to be honest, I'm not even talking about over the last six months to a year. I'm not talking about gradual implementation. I'm talking about massive content dump of AI. A lot of it is fooling even people like me, not people my parents age. Some of it, I go, this is really a lot of it you can spot, but some of it is really good. And young people are getting fooled by artificial intelligence. So when people focus only on politics, they're ignoring a lot of these other cultural trends that shape their lives much more than politics does. But I hope that this guy comes in, the sky doesn't fall. People go, oh, he can't get everything he wants done. I'm hoping that it's not a standoff between him and Trump. I don't want that to be the case. You know, I don't like the ice raids I've said before. I think they're inhumane. A lot of them are heartless. I think, all in all, people look at them and they are. They don't feel good about being an American. When you see a grandma who lived here 30 years or a father of a Marine zip tied or deported, a guy who raised three Marines who's lived here 30 years. I don't think any, I don't think there are people that are for that, obviously, but a lot of people aren't. That being said, if you encourage ISIS of federal, they're federal officers. So if you encourage people to attack federal officers, block them from carrying out a raid, if you're encouraging that behavior, you're starting a civil war. I mean, that's just what it is now. I don't think it's going to take the form of a civil war where you have two sides fighting. But if you're encouraging people to violently attack federal employees, you're going to start a situation like you have now where you have National Guard in cities. So even though you are against these raids and you don't believe they should be taking place, the goal is to win elections to prevent them. The goal is to create local, you know, municipality ordinances that reduce the likelihood of them. The goal is to hold employers feed to the fire who hire illegal labor instead of Americans. But you can't encourage people to go and attack the ICE in the street because that will be used as the pretext for a massive deployment of military in the streets in the cities. I mean, that's really the case. And we haven't seen the Insurrection Act. I hope we don't. But if you keep pushing and people are physically attacking or blocking ICE vehicles with their cars or doing things like that, the response is going to be great. It's just what's going to happen. People get mad at me on this show when I tell you what's going to happen and you go, oh, I don't want it to happen. And I go, well, that's great. I'm telling you what's going to happen. Literally what's going to happen. So you can't, you can't do that. You can't just attack. I don't. Again, there should be a happy medium or a place you can arrive in this country where you go, we need a border, we need laws. Some people do need to get deported. Some people need a path to citizenship. We need to prioritize American citizens. We need to talk about citizenship in America like it means something. We can't just destroy the, the, the idea of citizenship. You know, there needs to be some happy medium there and, and you need to find that and hopefully somebody finds that. You can't let 10 million people in like Biden did into a country that's already struggling with vast amounts of wealth inequality. Very hard to assimilate people that are already here into an existing economic and political structure. So you have to find that space where it's not pure chaos, where you're sitting in a restaurant and then ice shows up and is dragging people out of the back of the restaurant. There's got to be a way to not live in that chaos. I mean, you would think, you would hope there should be a way to do it, and I'm not an expert exactly on how to do it. I. I have thoughts that you should. You don't need to have masked people that are, you know, that are just kind of terrorizing communities and showing up and grabbing people, and people leave their house and they're never seen again. You know, they're. They're running through a. What is this? They're running through a what, A Walmart? A Walgreens in Chicago. Yeah. I mean, like, again, this is chaos. It's absolute chaos.
Cash Patel
Get the out of here. He's a citizen.
Tim Dillon
Yes. I mean, again, this is. It's absolute and utter chaos, and it's something that is going to lead to clearly to worse things. Are you ready to win, folks? Are you ready to win? Prize Picks is the only app that offers stacks, meaning you can pick the same player for up to two, three times in the same lineup. Want to pick more on Josh Allen's pass yards, rush yards, and touchdowns? Now you can pick all of them in the same lineup only on Prize Picks. This episode is brought to you by Prize Picks. You and I make decisions every day, but on Prize Picks, being right can get you paid. Don't miss any of the excitement. This football season's on Prize Picks, where it's good to be right. Follow other Prize Picks players directly on the app and copy their lineups in one click. Whether it's a friend, a celebrity partner, or just somebody whose picks you like, hit the follow button and check out every lineup they create in the new feed tab on Prize Picks. Download the Prize Picks app today and use Code tim to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. That's code TIM. You get $50 in lineups after YOU play your first $5 lineup. Prize picks. It's good to be right. Everyone loves Helix. Everybody who comes and hangs out at my house in the Hamptons goes, these mattresses are amazing. And they're all from Helix. They're amazing. Helix is the best mattress provider. We've had them for years. Everybody loves them. I'm telling you. You take a short quiz and they tell you exactly what kind of mattress is perfect for you. Whether you have issues with snoring, back pain, sleep apnea, sleeping through the night, sleeping too hot, too cold, whatever. Helix has a mattress for that. My sleep has improved greatly since I've started using Helix mattresses. And I will never have any other kind of matrix. I think the Midnight Deluxe is the best, but, you know, you choose yours. Helixsleep.com timd helixsleep.com timd make sure you enter our show name after checkout so they know we sent you. That's helixsleep.com TimD I'm telling you, you're gonna get 25% off site wide. 25% off site wide. It's crazy. They're giving away the store. Helix sleep.com TimD Mattress shopping is the creepiest, weirdest thing ever. It is so easy to do it online. Helix is the best. You will be so happy, trust me. Because the other thing is the pendulum swings. Why are all these young kids Nazis now? You know, in their leaked tax and maybe they're not Nazis. Maybe they're kidding around, right? Maybe they're blowing off steam. I don't think people should lose jobs for leaked text. But I also don't think I know a lot of young people that are being very, that are radicalized. And they're radicalized on both the right and the left. And the reason that they're being radicalized is because they don't feel like they have a future in America. And that becomes, they embrace pathologies. And on the right, it's the Jews did it, and on the left it's the white patriarchy does it. And on both sides, whether you're far to the right or far to the left, when you, when you go to those extremes and you start rehabilitating the legacy of mass murderers, Hitler, Stalin, whatever it is, because you've given up on the idea that you're going to have any type of productive life. And that's terrible. And those conditions have been created, not overnight, but they've been created where younger people have become radicalized. On the Israel question, younger people have been radicalized in the space of a year, probably, or maybe even a little more than that, because a lot of the things that are coming out are, are, are so blatant and absurd. And it's clearly obvious that Adelson and some of these donors went to Trump and went, we can, you know, you'll win, we'll give you the money, you'll stay out of jail. But we Want X, Y and Z. And these are all the kids on Tick Tock. And these are all the kids that are looking at the bodies of two year olds that are being scattered. And then we have, you know, Mike Huckabee performing this number. And I mean, this is hard to not get radicalized seeing this. I mean, it's crazy. Torah scrolls keep on turning. I mean, do they want everyone to be a Nazi? I'm starting to think they want everyone to be a Nazi. There's no explanation for this.
Guest or Commentator
This.
Tim Dillon
There's zero explanation for this. We all have come to help. I mean, there's. I read those Republican text messages and a lot of them are, listen, I don't know these people, they're not kids right during their 30s. And they are saying this, all this fucked up crazy shit. And again, I think the goal, and I've said this on Rogan, the goal of any. And I don't know who's kidding, who's not. Again, I'm not like leak the text and fire everyone. But I do think it's worth noting that radicalization on many sides of the political spectrum but is happening. And when you see Huckabee performing Sweet Home Yeshiva, whatever it was, whatever it was, Sweet home, Sweet Home Yerushalayim, this is causing, I mean, what could the point of this be if not to turn people radical on this issue? And you don't want it. You don't want Nazis, you don't want fascism, you don't want communism. They're the same thing. They're authoritarian structures where you view everyone outside of you as an enemy and you want to kill them. And it only leads to violence. Truly, it only lead this tribalism and the identity politics only leads to violence. But then you look at some of this stuff and it feels inescapable. You go, well, of course, when I, as somebody who's been out of the closet for 15, 20 years, when I saw 5 year olds at drag shows, I said, the pendulum swing is going to be huge and we're going to go back to like, you know, the Catholic Inquisition. People don't hate gay people. People don't really care what other people do. Yes, some people do. Some people do. There are extremists. There are, you know, that, that Fred Phelps gang and, and others like them, right? I'm not, I'm not ignorant. But what I'm saying is most people in America are not sitting in their houses hating you. They're just trying to survive. They may disagree with you, they may not like you, they may not have any experience with you, but when you, when you push an ideology on people, when you tell them, we're going to destroy your understanding of what a man is, what a woman is. And we're not. We're not going to say this is just the way we feel. And we're going to say this is going global and everybody needs to subscribe to it or you're out. And we're going to fire you and shame you. And if you don't, if you don't play our game, you're out. The minute you start doing that, people start looking at their kids and their families going, I'm losing control of the only thing that I have, which is my family, my children, our values. I'm losing control of that to schools, I'm losing control of it, to the government, I'm losing control of it, to the entertainment industry. I'm. And that's always, that's always been a theme of America, is that you had to fight because all of these things, the food is poison, or you had to fight. If you wanted to keep your family healthy, you had to fight. These were all things that have been part and parcel of a country where we let you know, these, these. These multinational corporations pillage. But I look at this stuff, I look at the Adelson stuff, and I look at, at, at.
Guest or Commentator
At.
Tim Dillon
At this guy playing. I mean, and I can't think, do. Are you anti Semitic? It's so. You're laying it on so thick, which is the exact opposite of what anyone should want. Tribal identity politics is the exact opposite of civilization. It's diametrically opposed to civilization. Civilization goes, you're from here, you believe this, I'm from here, I believe this. We're cool. The opposite of that is the. Is sectarian warfare. It's the Middle east, it's Africa, it was the Balkans, where people are murdering each other and they don't see each other as human beings. Israelis do not see Palestinians as human beings. Palestinians do not see Israelis as human beings. They've been thoroughly dehumanized. They celebrate each other's deaths. What just happened with Charlie Kirk, this guy gets shot, murdered, assassinated on live tv. There are people celebrating his death in the same way that somebody would celebrate the death of someone in another tribe in a third world country. And that should wake people up. I don't know that it has. And I'm not saying it only goes one way, but I'm saying in that climate, in that climate.
Guest or Commentator
You.
Tim Dillon
You might not do better than Katie Porter. You might not do better than Katie Porter. You might not do better than this angry, kind of chubby, petty, vicious mom who doesn't know how to be nice, who doesn't know how to be nice. How are you going to blackmail Katie Porter? How does Netanyahu blackmail Katie Porter? I don't know, but maybe he does it. Maybe Katie Porter burns it all down. Because we're getting very close to a time in this country. We're going to have to make a choice. We're going to have to make a choice. It seems very obvious to everybody that we're gonna have to make a choice between something that feels like a civil war but isn't, where it's not going to be people, the battle of this and the battle of that. But I'm talking about lots of American cities on fire, a broken economy, an irreparably broken political system, which some people think we have already, and I haven't studied it enough to know that we do or don't. It feels like we're on the verge of it. We're gonna have to make a choice, and it's coming sooner rather than later, because the next phase after that is Palantir. That's the plan. It's obvious the next phase after a good few years of burning and violence and. And unrest will be. We will walk into a surveillance state willingly and happily because they will provide order. And I think we do. We do have to believe that. You know, I walk around and I look and I look at people, and the vast majority of people out there are not living and dying on the political. Thank God. Thank God. Outside of politics, in this country, we have things, people like sports, entertainment, to whatever degree it's left. We have public spaces, we have entrepreneurship, people trying to get something going and make a couple of dollars. Without that, without those things, without getting up and going, how do I make a dollar today? Without getting up and going, how do I lose weight? How do I better myself? How do I meet a woman? How do I start a family? Without any of that, you are left with the inevitable. And all the people on the Internet that keep talking about, you know, a national divorce or all of this, none of this is bloodless. It's all bloody. And everyone loses. Left, right. Everybody, truly. So what you need to do is figure out a way to take the temperature down. You have to. You have to take the temperature down in this country. It's not going to work if everybody. If you look at someone who thinks differently than you as an enemy, that you need to destroy your. You know, you're, you're. It's not going to. You should look at them as your political opponent you want to beat. That's different than an enemy you want to destroy. And I've talked. Listen, I've had the dinners. I've seen the people. I'm telling you what's coming. It doesn't involve you. It. It doesn't involve me. Although I'm pretty good at getting in, so maybe it will, but let's just say it won't. Let's say it won't. I'm not helping myself. Going out and getting green into the race, that's what we're doing here. We started the show on a porch, now we're getting green into the race. I'm getting calls. People go, what are you doing? I go, what do you mean, what am I doing? We're having fun. I'm picking the president. What's the problem? I'm picking your next president. Leave me alone.
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Tim Dillon
But I'm saying we got to make a choice. Stop with this. Everyone's so snarky and rude. And I get it. I get people are pissed. Zoran is the natural coming of left populism. People are angry. I mean, listen, these people went to good schools. They did the right thing. Blah, blah, blah, blah. They have no money. They can't own anything. They barely have healthcare. They're stuck in a gig economy. And they're not, you know, and they're not happy about it. So Zoran is the guy we've created. The super rich have driven the economy off a cliff for even people that did the right thing. I never did the right thing in life, so I never expected anything, by the way. It's why I have things interesting, but it's. I never did the right thing. So when you don't do the right thing, you don't expect any. I was doing cocaine at 14. When you do cocaine at 14, at 27, you're not like, where's my driveway and my house, man? You know, I never did the right thing. I dropped out of college. I. I did the wrong thing. But everyone who does the right thing and they, You. They pin a little pin on themselves, and they go, well, I graduated summa cum laude. I talk to these people. I go on dates with some of these people. I sit there and they go, I, J.P. morgan. And I, you know, 57 interviews. Yeah, you know, they're. And they're all having heart attacks at 25. They're throwing themselves out the window because they're just, you know, they've done the right thing. They went to the right school, and they got the right internship, and now they're living in the right city and their whole thing, and they have the right job, and they're working for the right guy, and you want to show them that they will kill themselves to make a dollar. I never did any of that. I never expected anything. I didn't have health care till five years ago. I had no money in my bank. I had none of it. But talking to people who done the right thing in their entire life, they're pissed that they're not getting anything for it. They're mad. They're unhappy on the left and the right. They graduate college, the job market sucks. They can't buy a house. They go online, they say, what's this guy Hitler about? Okay? Or they go online and they go, you know, people say, stalin was a mass murderer, but you know, what? Why? And they're angry. And I get it, but anger in America can't anger in America can only take the form of Katie Porter. Unless we'll destroy our country. Anger in America really has to be productive. It can't just radicalize you into being a nut job who lays around all day gooning and watching live streams. You have to be productive. Katie Porter is an angry woman, but she's in the game. She's in the game. She abuses everyone she's ever met, but that's American anger. She wants to have pancakes, but she knows they'll make her tired and she'll want to sleep. That's American anger. Look at that kitchen she's in. Oh my God, it's so gross. It's so gross. But she's a pragmatist and we need people like that. Psychopaths who tell people that we need to be having violent insurrections or we need to be cheering on the death of a political opponent. People like that are trying to tear the country apart. People like Katie Porter are ambitious and they're. And they're cold and they. And they're. And they're mean. But she's actually not a threat to the country. She can only be a benefit. She can't destroy the country because she's too busy destroying herself. And that's what we need to get back to. Our politicians have to destroy themselves and not us. And that's why Katie Porter is so powerful. The strength it takes her not to hit someone, physically punch a person. The. The amount that she has to put into just not ramming someone with her car. The fantasies she has in her head about what she wants to do to people are.
Katie Porter
Are.
Tim Dillon
Are 10 times worse than that Republican group chat. The things in her head and the anger, the rage, the murderous rage, every day, every minute. But Katie Porter is all of us. And we need someone that. Look at her shit kitchen. It sucks. It's so gross. You can't. If any sauce splatters, it goes right on the wall. It sucks. She lives in a dump. She doesn't have any money. She has a fucking old white fridge. What are you, in college? It's gross and there's nothing on it. Nobody's invited her to anything. There are no cards, nothing. Because she's angry and toxic and miserable, but in a way that is uniquely and, dare I say, beautifully American because like Donald Trump, she doesn't know how to be any other way. If she could, she would. If America could have been Sweden, we would have. It wasn't in the cards. Don't count Katie Porter out. She's regrouping Right now she's eating burnt ends. Burnt ends in a parking lot in St. Louis, Obispo or somewhere. And I'm telling you, I like Rick Caruso better. I prefer him. I much prefer him to her politically, but he's not that interesting. He's just a rich guy with a dog. That's all rich Caruso is. He's a rich guy with a dog. I can't really do much on him. I do like his policies better, but who cares? He's just a rich guy. And he's got a great golden retriever. I see him in Beverly Hills. The point is this Katie Porter is America's hate pig. Do you understand that? And she's an essential part of our. Our. Our economy and our lives and how we see ourselves and each other. She represents something deeper and more American to. Just like Donald Trump does. We're all the casino gambler, full of shit. I run casinos. I have Miss Universe pageants. And, you know, now he loves God. It's. It's a. He's a bit. It's a P.T. barnum. He's a showman. He's part of us. It's part of who we are. This woman is also a part of who we are. Online, at the Drive Thru. Angry, angry. Fantasizing about her husband opening the doors just so she could start screaming at him. The kids in the backseat, the fat little kids sticky with barbecue sauce. She thinks she wants to be like Susan Smith sometimes and just drive them into the lake. That's what that woman did. She drove them into the lake. Many years ago. Google it. Doesn't matter. Don't you Google it? I mean, out there in the. In the darkness. But this woman is a uniquely American woman, just like Trump. These are archetypes. This is who we are.
Guest or Commentator
They.
Tim Dillon
That's why we see them and we freak out. We see Trump and we freak out and we see Katie Porter and we freak out. We don't like seeing ourselves. It's actually something we don't like. It isn't. It isn't nice. We like to think America's like, I don't know, you know, and I don't know, Tom Cruise and Mission Impossible. That's not what it is. It's Tom Cruise in real life, a secretly gay guy in a cult. That's what it really is. It's not. It's not him in the movie, you idiot. This is who we are and when we see who we are. But it's also who we have to be. This is who we have to Be whatever's after this is worse. Whatever is after this is worse. So clean it up. Beat the tech people back. Get some. Get some safety on the streets. Allow people to participate in a reasonable amount of scams, just enough to keep them happy. People need to feel like they're in the game here. And the super rich have driven the economy off a cliff. Nobody feels like they're in the game, so they're inventing another game. And you don't want them to do that. So I don't live in California anymore and it's illegal for me to vote for Katie Porter, but it doesn't matter because I think they let people illegally vote there. So I will go and vote illegally for Katie Porter. Just because America right now badly needs a dose of itself, an understanding of who we are. Not pretending that we're perfect or that the people that disagree with us are somehow worse than we are. The core guttural level of who we are as Americans is that we've inherited this kind of amazing place and because of our selfish behavior across the board, have kind of created this horrible nightmare that we all inhabit now and then we're looking for a way to make it just a little less horrific, just a little nicer, just a little kinder, you know? I mean, that's what most people want. They just want to live. You only get so much time on Earth. And the people like Katie Porter are the avatars of our nightmare. They are the pictures of. Of our madness. Her madness is our madness. The traffic, the drive through line being too long, the inability to not eat, the bad thing, to not violently act out, to not dump the potatoes on the husband. The rage, the anger, the cauldron of burning fire inside of this woman. The ambition. This is who we are. And we have to take a long, hard look at it. It's not going to change overnight. We're not going to simply become different people overnight. We have to grapple with this. We have to wrestle with who we are and we have to see the value in it. Katie Porter has a utility. America has a utility. There are still things we have. We've got land, resources, people, got a strong military, we've got money, we've got a lot of shit. Let's not flush it down the toilet. Don't flush Katie Porter down the toilet. Okay? Get into the toilet with her. Throw her a life raft. Get into the toilet with her and start screaming because that's the only thing that might save us. Thank you so much. Good luck.
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Tim Dillon
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Ryan Reynolds
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Date: October 18, 2025
Tim Dillon delivers another darkly comedic, unfiltered tour through the end times. This episode focuses on the unvarnished public persona of California politician Katie Porter, analyzing her rise and controversies, and what she represents in American life and politics. Tim artfully draws comparisons between Porter and Donald Trump, exploring themes of authenticity, public anger, and political archetypes. The episode also features satirical sketches—including an absurd interview with “FBI Director Cash Patel”—and commentary on radicalization, political tribalism, and the evolving American psyche.
A. The Committee Hearing / Whiteboard Clip (07:58–08:19)
B. Treating Staff and Backstage Clips (15:20–16:14)
C. Confrontational Media Interview (19:02–20:49)
Tim Dillon’s episode is a biting, comedic meditation on the nature of authenticity and anger in American politics, using Katie Porter as a prism. He sees Porter’s raw, unfiltered persona as both a liability and a necessary archetype—an angry, imperfect public servant whose flaws mirror those of the nation itself. Dillon insists America must neither demonize nor idealize such figures but recognize their role as reflections and outlets for deeper national discontent. Otherwise, he warns, more destructive forces will fill the void.
For listeners and non-listeners alike, this episode dissects the myth and reality of political anger, offering catharsis, sharp cultural insight, and plenty of laughs along the way.