“A Business of Flies”

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Tony Kornheiser Show – "A Business of Flies"

Date: September 15, 2025
Host: Tony Kornheiser
Guests: Michael Wilbon, Tim Kurkjian, Greg Garcia, Jason

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Overview

This episode of The Tony Kornheiser Show blends the usual mix of sports, personal anecdotes, and comedic banter. Tony and friends discuss the frustrations of changing digital interfaces (specifically, The Washington Post app), Tony's recent battles with vertigo and an unexpected fly infestation ("a business of flies"), and delve deeply into the sports headlines of the week. Regulars Michael Wilbon and Tim Kurkjian join for spirited debates on the NFL, MLB, and college football, with Tony's trademark crankiness throughout.

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Highlights & Key Topics

1. Updates & Personal Anecdotes

The Washington Post App Changes

• Frustration with New Design: Tony vents about the redesign of The Washington Post's sports app, now focused on local team clusters rather than curated top stories.
  • "They’ve abdicated their responsibility to rank in order the most important stories to serve the people who are spending the money to buy this service."
    (Tony, 03:44)
  • He misses the curated hierarchy of stories and especially the TV listings: “And plus, I can’t find the television listings. That’s really important.” (Tony, 04:40)

Tech Annoyances Expanded

• Jason and Greg commiserate, with examples of unwanted app and crossword changes, underscoring how digital meddling often ruins what isn’t broken.
  • “If it’s not broke, don’t fix it. And somebody always feels the need to just meddle a little bit.” (Greg, 05:25)

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2. Health & Home Life

Vertigo Strikes Tony

• Tony details his first bout with vertigo, painting a vivid picture of waking at night with a spinning room, anxiety, and eventual medical advice.
  • "The room was swimming. The room was making circles. I was terrified. I could not focus my eyes on anything."
    (Tony, 07:49)
• He worries about recurrence and the possibility of experiencing vertigo while driving: “Here’s where you don’t want it, when you’re driving … you got to pull over.” (Tony, 08:36)
• Relief came from a chewable prescription: “Tasted like rat poison, but, you know, it seemed to work.” (Tony, 08:02)

An Invasion: "A Business of Flies"

• Tony humorously laments a fly infestation, killing dozens over the previous day.
  • “I’ve killed 25 flies in my house in the last 12 hours by hand…banging them with a cloth.” (Tony, 09:13)
  • Greg chimes in with fly terminology: “A ‘swarm’ is most common...a ‘business’ of flies.” (Greg, 10:24)
• The group brainstorms solutions ranging from light traps to flypaper, and reminisce about childhoood fly-catching strategies.
  • “I want that. I don’t want the traditional flypaper that I had at camp as a kid 70 years ago.” (Tony, 11:44)
  • “Frogs eat flies...A frog can't catch these flies. These flies are flying. That’s why they're flies.” (Greg & Tony, 11:59/12:00)

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3. Weekly Sports Roundtable with Michael Wilbon

NFL Weekend: Surprises and Storylines

• Tony and Michael break down a topsy-turvy NFL weekend, focusing on the Cowboys-Giants and Russell Wilson’s Broncos heartbreak.
  • "If you watched the Red Zone yesterday...one of the most surprising teams in the NFL, the Indianapolis Colts … but the Cowboys-Giants game...that game was fabulous, wasn’t it?"
    (Tony, 18:13)
  • "There’s no reason the Cowboys can't or shouldn’t make the playoffs." (Wilbon, 18:28)
  • Giants and Daniel Jones' performance; heartbreak for fans.

Coaching Instability and Hot Seats

• Talk shifts to Miami’s coaching “death watch,” referencing job security after a potential Thursday loss to Buffalo.
  • “People had them...on death watch coming into the season...is it self-fulfilling prophecy?” (Wilbon, 24:25)
  • "You could lose that game and be fired because you have 10 days till the next game." (Tony, 26:17)

College Football Anguish: Wilbon’s Wildcats

• Wilbon reflects on Northwestern narrowly covering a 27.5-point spread against powerhouse Oregon and the unique culture of Midwest tailgating.
  • “We played Oregon even in the first and fourth quarters … I’m not going to say moral victory, but it was competitive in both those quarters.” (Wilbon, 28:28)
  • "It’s like a brunch telecast … tailgating starts at like 9." (Wilbon, 27:35)

Bears Fans’ Woes

• Wilbon and Tony discuss the Bears giving up 52 points and the unfair scape-goating of rookie QB Caleb Williams.
  • “The story in Chicago is Dennis Allen, okay? Caleb Williams didn’t give up 52 yesterday…" (Wilbon, 29:48)
  • "Caleb Williams was about the third or fourth most important element of a 52-point beatdown yesterday." (Wilbon, 31:12)

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4. MLB Talk with Tim Kurkjian

NFL Dominance Over Baseball Viewing

• Tony and Tim express regret that MLB pennant races get drowned out by NFL Sundays.
  • “There are amazing things going on, including pennant races, and all we care about is how many yards Russell Wilson threw for yesterday.”
    (Tim, 34:43)
  • Tony admits he skips baseball on Sundays except for his beloved Nats.

Cal Raleigh’s Historic Power Surge

• Kurkjian highlights Cal Raleigh’s 54th homer, tying Mickey Mantle for most home runs by a switch hitter.
  • “A catcher has tied him [Mantle]...the only switch hitter ever to hit 20 or more homers from each side of the plate.” (Tim, 36:04)

MVP Debates: Judge vs. Cal Raleigh, Schwarber’s Case

• American League:
  • “There are certain seasons where there are two MVPs … I would vote for Aaron Judge.” (Tim, 37:13)
• National League:
  • Tony pushes Kyle Schwarber’s MVP case; Tim respects his clubhouse leadership but leans toward Shohei Ohtani: “I don’t think at this moment that he is the MVP ... Ohtani has 49 homers and is pitching again.” (Tim, 39:06)

Batting Averages & Changing Metrics

• Tony laments the decline in .300 hitters; Tim explains the cultural and strategic shift to home runs.
  • “We have lost the value of the hit because all we care about is how many home runs do you hit.” (Tim, 41:21)
  • “Feels like batting average guys have become like running backs in the NFL. Nobody really cares about their great skills…” (Tony, 42:44)

Pennant Races and Rivalries

• Brief rundown: Phillies and Brewers are runaways, Mets may have righted the ship. Padres-Dodgers rivalry called “the best” for its animosity.
  • “The hatred is so much fun.” (Tony, 45:55)

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Memorable Quotes

• On UI changes: “Why you change? You’re not making it better.” (Tony, 05:06)
• On vertigo: “Tasted like rat poison, but…seemed to work.” (Tony on medication, 08:02)
• On the fly problem: “They’re giving me the business. I have them there in the main floor. They’re all over the place and they want to get out. They're always near a window. They don't want to be inside.” (Tony, 10:30)
• On football’s dominance of Sunday: “Football has commanded this country and nothing really matters other than football on a Sunday.” (Tim, 34:43)
• On gridiron misery: “The easy thing is Caleb Williams. Caleb Williams. 52 points!” (Wilbon, 30:35)

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Notable Segments & Timestamps

• 00:13–02:46: Show opens, friendly chat, Washington Post app complaints
• 07:54–09:13: Tony describes his first bout of vertigo
• 09:13–13:43: The fly infestation saga and solutions
• 17:23–31:24: Michael Wilbon joins: NFL breakdown, Northwestern, Bears
• 33:14–45:46: Tim Kurkjian joins: Baseball talk, MVP debates, metrics, pennant races and rivalries

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Additional Notes

• Songs by Ryan Jewell featured at music breaks.
• Jokes and mailbag close the episode, including listener emails about potatoes, vaccines, fly infestations, and show references to earlier bits.

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Conclusion

"A Business of Flies" is a quintessential Tony Kornheiser Show episode, blending personal tangents (health woes and home travails) with a sharp, irreverent look at the current sports landscape. Its warmth and humor make the episode both accessible and rewarding for regular listeners and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Tony Kornheiser]

Hey, it's Tony. On today's show, we'll talk to Michael Wilbon about a rough weekend for his Wildcats and Bears. And we'll check in with Tim Kirchen as we enter the final couple of weeks of the baseball season. But first, Commerce.

[Show Announcer]

Previously on the Tony Kornheiser Show.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Jason's very excited today and can't be because of his physical feeling because he's had a shingles shot and it has laid him low. Jason, I had two shingle shots. The second one was worse than the first. The second one, my left arm blew up. It literally blew up. But it sounds like you're not in good shape from this, huh?

[Michael Wilbon]

It's rough. I feel like my core temperature is like, I don't know, maybe 27 degrees. Like I'm in a hoodie, sweatpants and thermal, thermal pants right now. Like I sweat that way.

[Show Announcer]

The Tony Korneiser show is on now.

[Tony Kornheiser]

One of the great appearances of all time.

[Greg Garcia]

Absolutely.

[Tony Kornheiser]

One of the great appearances of all time.

[Greg Garcia]

We may have a few emails on.

[Tony Kornheiser]

That, Jason, on, you know, vaccines. At that point, I have a few things to talk about. I'll dispense with the gnats early Saturday, Sunday, I didn't watch a play. Didn't even know they were on. And I wasn't going to watch. I was going to watch football, if there was football.

[Jason]

Oh, they gave the early start yesterday. Come on.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, I didn't, I didn't watch. I was unaware of, of all of that. So we don't have to talk about that.

[Greg Garcia]

Do they play the Marlins again?

[Tony Kornheiser]

I don't think so. They had that. They finished their 12 game series with the Marlins last week. I went to play golf yesterday. I had a really, really good time. I did something that is, you're not advised to do. I went out as a twosome behind three fours. So you're gonna be held up, you.

[Jason]

Know, where you play. Sunday is now a tee time day that you can make in advance.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah. And Michael got me on the T sheet with Paul McNamara, who is my age and who was the president of Columbia and who is a very outgoing, good guy. I really, I'd not spent this much time with him ever. And I loved everything about it and I played pretty well. Oh, that's great. All right. So that was fun. I had a good time doing that. I need to talk about something about the Washington Post. This affects everyone. The Washington Post in the last 48 hours has changed. This is the online version. The online version has changed the menu the way the menu is delivered to you. The sports section, which is what I care about most, the sports section and all other sections were delivered. I'll just talk about the sports section. They would. When you got the online version, essentially they ranked in order, the important stories.

[Jason]

And this is through the app, not just through going to the website.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Correct to the app. Just the app. The thing on your phone where you press Washington Post, you go to sports. The four or five most important stories of the day were essentially ranked in order. Somebody was curating them and they were ranked in order. And because you know how to do it. The big game, the sidebar off, the big game, the other game, and you know, stuff like that. And then they would go to columns, a couple of columns, if there were columns. And then the third thing would be other stories in the paper that day of your interest. And then they would go to stories that editors particularly like because they're trying to sell you on these long feature stories that have been in there before. And then finally, in the last version, they would have television listings for today and a couple of more stories. I became adjusted to this. I became acquainted with this. I became enamored with this. I thought it was really smart. They changed this thing. Now. They changed it. Now everything is all team by team, local team by team. So stories about the wizards, stories about the commanders, stories about the capitals. It's junk. It's hocus pocus junk because they've abdicated their responsibility to rank in order. The most important stories to serve the people who are spending the money to buy this service. I talked with a couple of people at the Post yesterday about this. They're very upset. They don't understand this. They did a good job. Now. Now everyone is complaining and nobody likes this because there's no intelligence behind what they're doing now. They're not trying to display for you in order the important sports stories of the day. You need to realize in sports, while you have people who care about certain teams, people who go to the sports section care about sports in general and the hot story. Yes. And what just happened yesterday in all different sports that's not there. And some mistake and it's infuriated me. And plus, I can't find the television listings. That's really important.

[Jason]

That's the key to all of this.

[Tony Kornheiser]

The television listings. What are you going to watch today and tonight? Where did.

[Jason]

We can't even turn on your tv. It's less important for you right now.

[Tony Kornheiser]

But my TV is broken.

[Greg Garcia]

We're working on crisis here.

[Tony Kornheiser]

So I wanted I wanted to be declarative about that, that if anybody in the post is listening, this is a bad idea.

[Jason]

And this goes out beyond the post to every app that you ever use, which is you. You become comfortable with a certain layout of it and then it changes.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Why you change.

[Greg Garcia]

Why do they do that?

[Tony Kornheiser]

Why you change?

[Jason]

My. My gripe is better.

[Tony Kornheiser]

You're not making it better.

[Jason]

The crossword that they plug in to the. To the app, they changed the color on the background and the way that the interface works with you in terms of checking your grid if you want to, I don't know, just see if you're missing one piece, can't use it. Haven't done the crossword for about six months.

[Greg Garcia]

Yeah, it's. I don't know why they can't just leave things as they are. It's. If it's not broke, don't fix it. And somebody always feels the need to just meddle a little bit. We haven't done anything with this in a while, so let's just change it up just for the sake.

[Jason]

Now, have you spent time trying to change your drop down? Because you can change the order of, say, where lifestyle, you know, appears versus no.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Okay, I'm okay. I go across the top so you see the 40s, Maryland, Virginia, and then I know sports is next.

[Jason]

Then you can change that order.

[Tony Kornheiser]

It's okay. I'm okay. It doesn't. It. I'm not discomfited by that. I am discomfited by what they just did. They took away something with a reasonable intellect and they changed it into a hodgepodge of team junk. Yeah, I'm done with that. Two things. Two things to talk about. One is flies and one is vertigo. I'll do the vertigo first. I don't know how many of you have ever had vertigo. I'd never had vertigo in my life till about two months ago. I got it once. I talked to my doctor about it and he said it's not. It's pretty common to have vertigo and it goes away, but the older you get and the more you've had it, the more you get it. So that's not great. So on Friday night, while trying to sleep, I woke up in the middle of the night. Friday night, Saturday morning, I was. The room was swimming. The room was making circles. I was terrified. Terrified. I could not focus my eyes on anything. It's just this dizziness and this spinning. So I did what seemed to make sense to me. I got out of bed, put both feet on the floor and and tried to calm myself and settle myself till I could get my vision back and I could get my vision back while doing that. But when I laid down again, it returned, really. And I had this condition of laying down on my back. I, like, I couldn't stretch out in the morning. I couldn't do any extra. I couldn't do anything in the morning. And then I wanted to play golf. And so I texted my doctor, who said, look, if you can, this happens. You know, I did some reading about it. You get worried you're having a stroke, but there's no other attending illnesses. You know, it's just. You can't. You can't focus. You. You're swimming around. And he said, look, if you can stand up and play, you can probably play. And I had some problems when I put the ball on the ground to tee it up. But other than that, I had no. I had no problem swinging. I had no problems. And again, it dissipated as time went on. And he got me up.

[Jason]

Your swing's already out of balance, so.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, well, I'm a terrible swing. I'm a terrible player. So he got me a pill that I took. And, you know, when the pill seemed to work, was a chewable pill, tasted like rat poison, but, you know, it. It seemed to work. And I talked to some people who have had vertigo in their lives, and it's no fun. Like, it's no fun. And it's. It's one. It's an unknown thing.

[Jason]

Did you reach out to Jason Day?

[Tony Kornheiser]

I did not. Did he have. He's had vertigo. Oh, I could get him through Greg. Greg played with him. No, I didn't know that.

[Greg Garcia]

So I always never had it. No, I was something like, if you're up high, you look down and you have this sort of, maybe, maybe, but.

[Tony Kornheiser]

But here's where you don't want it when you're driving. Oh, good. You don't want it. You got to pull over. Medium. Yes, it was. It was. It lasted for hours. I do not have it today. Today is Monday. It's two days later. I didn't have it last night, but it's scary. Vertigo.

[Jason]

Scary good sleep over the weekend. I mean, good for you.

[Tony Kornheiser]

That was all right. It wasn't good. I mean, you know, nervousness, nervous sleep, that I would have vertigo. Every time I woke, I looked up at an object in the right.

[Jason]

And I think that anxiety feeds the vertigo even more sleeping.

[Tony Kornheiser]

So. Yeah, But I have these pills if I need them, so I'm sure people will write and tell me they've had vertigo, and I understand that, but this is more important than the vertigo. Flies. I have an infestation of flies in my house.

[Jason]

Well, the big winner from the Vertigo was the bottle of wine that you opened and were recommended not to enjoy.

[Tony Kornheiser]

My daughter.

[Jason]

We walked into a very nice dinner.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, you walked into a great bottle of wine. I'd opened a really good bottle of wine and I had no wine at all on Saturday night. Last night I had a glass, that's all. And I did not have.

[Jason]

I think this is related to the getting back into the September rhythm and the shows and the various stresses on your life.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Maybe, maybe. But I, you know, it's no good. Let me get to flies. I don't know what flies. You know, I know that bees live in a hive. I don't know that they're a hive of flies. I don't know there's a parliament of flies. I don't know that there's a covey of flies. I've killed 25 flies in my house in the last 12 hours by hand with it, you know, banging them with a cloth or something like that. And then I. Banging them again. Yeah. What do you think I'm going to kill him with?

[Jason]

Pretty good reaction time for you.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Well, I miss here and there, but I hit, you know, I'm hitting about 300. Nice. Yeah. I'm hitting about Trey Turner level at that point. Yeah.

[Greg Garcia]

I've got terms for you.

[Tony Kornheiser]

What is a bunch of flies?

[Greg Garcia]

Well, a swarm is most common. Well, it apparently applies to flies as well. A business of flies. I like that.

[Tony Kornheiser]

That had given me the. They're giving me the business. I have them there in the. They're in the main floor. They're all over the place and they want to get out. They're always near a window. They don't want to be inside.

[Greg Garcia]

Like just open the window.

[Tony Kornheiser]

But they're driving me crazy. And Carol said, oh, they're coming in because you leave this particular door open. I go, that one or two, maybe we got a 30 flies. How do you get rid of flies? I got a call, a pest company. They come over here all the time, charge me a billion dollars to get rid of ticks and mosquitoes. But we're out of the tick and mosquito season, I hope. And we're into the fly season, tick.

[Greg Garcia]

Season a little bit.

[Tony Kornheiser]

We got to get rid of these flies. I don't know why we have these flies, how they've gotten in where they live, you know, what is going on. There's other people do they come in with the moths?

[Jason]

You've had a moth issue.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Had a moth issue, too. How do they get in the house? What do you do to seal off the house? What am I doing?

[Jason]

The door to go grilling or when you take the dog out to throw the Frisbee.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yes, but. Okay, but 30 of them. I killed 30.

[Jason]

In our kitchen, we have a little plug in light that has sticky tape on the backside. But, you know, when you go to bed, it does the work where it'll catch some of the random flying.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I want that.

[Jason]

Objects in your house.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I want that. I want. I don't want the traditional flypaper that I had at camp as a kid 70 years ago.

[Greg Garcia]

Oh, string it down.

[Tony Kornheiser]

We hung this thing from the ceiling and it was icky and sticky and the flies were on it.

[Greg Garcia]

You get a bunch of frogs.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Frogs eat flies.

[Greg Garcia]

Oh, frogs love to eat flies.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yes. A frog can't catch these flies. These flies are flying. That's why they're flies.

[Jason]

Well, maybe if you take the frogs to spring training with you.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Exactly. Awful. I don't know what. I don't know what to do. I don't know why we've got them. I don't know what to do.

[Greg Garcia]

No. Every once in a while.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Nice house. I had mice. Yeah, I don't have mice anymore.

[Greg Garcia]

No, the mice don't appear to be a problem.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Greg Garcia]

Wait till winter.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Greg Garcia]

Wait till the winter is coming.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Greg Garcia]

Yeah. But it's. It's frustrating. I kind of remember. I think I moved. I think that was sort of how I got away from it. But. Yeah, you got to bring the press guy over and be like, find them and kill.

[Tony Kornheiser]

And they're going to have to do something inside the house which can't be good for the dog and can't be good for us and can't be good for any food.

[Jason]

Let's start with this light trap first. And just watch what you're keeping out on the counter because sometimes you might have old fruit that's beginning to rotate.

[Tony Kornheiser]

But then I would see a fly near it, and I never see a fly near it. I never do. How do I. What do I buy?

[Michael Wilbon]

It's.

[Tony Kornheiser]

It's a.

[Jason]

It's a little plug in. It looks like, you know, one of those.

[Tony Kornheiser]

And a cat scented.

[Greg Garcia]

Yeah, it'll.

[Jason]

It'll catch flies for. It'll catch any. So it'll catch some mosquitoes.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah. Okay. You know who doesn't catch flies? Chessy the dog.

[Greg Garcia]

No, she doesn't care. No, it's not.

[Tony Kornheiser]

New skills you don't care no about flies.

[Jason]

Out of sight, out of mind.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I think I probably killed over 20. I did a lot of flies. Oh, yeah.

[Jason]

Would you be willing to invest in a fly swatter or do you just like the cloth?

[Tony Kornheiser]

I had a fly swatter. Now I don't know where it is. Somebody in this house took it and put it somewhere.

[Greg Garcia]

I've always found a baseball hat is extremely good. Newspaper, I think the beanie on top of the hat, I got a towel weight in it.

[Tony Kornheiser]

And when I miss the first time, by the third time, if they stay near, boom.

[Jason]

Are you going forehand, backhand, backhand.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Two hand, backhand.

[Tim Kirkjian]

One hand.

[Greg Garcia]

One hand, yeah, like Federer.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Very graceful. It's not a Chrissy Everett backhand. It's not a two handed backhand hand. One hand, smack and row. Yeah, it's one hand flies. It's awful.

[Greg Garcia]

It's truly awful.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I mean, you know, people say that they're at home now, this guy's on TV and he's got flies. Yes, yes. Just like you. I've got flies.

[Jason]

This is better than the bag of potatoes that I had found hidden in a drawer that had been there for months and was producing some sort of liquid at the bottom that was producing some flies in your house. Oh, yeah.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Wow.

[Michael Wilbon]

Yeah.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah. That's not good potatoes. We gotta try and dig this week.

[Greg Garcia]

I thought this weekend was the harvest weekend.

[Tony Kornheiser]

We didn't do it. Okay, do it this week.

[Greg Garcia]

Soon.

[Tony Kornheiser]

All right. Mike Wilbon, Let me return. I'm Tony Kornheiser.

[Show Announcer]

You're listening to the Tony Kornheiser Show. The Tony Kornheiser Show.

[Tony Kornheiser]

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[Michael Wilbon]

Oh yeah.

[Tony Kornheiser]

From the Shenandoah Valley based singer songwriter who's done stints in Nashville. It's country music but it's hard. It's good. It's. You know, you can listen to this for a while, not forever. You can listen for a while. It plays in Michael Wilbon and I You know, I, I know we can talk about Northwestern and I know we can talk about the Cubs and I suspect we can talk a little bit about the Bears who gave up a low 52 yesterday. But if you watched the red zone yesterday, the most there, there were a bunch of compelling things, including the most surprising team in the NFL, the Indianapolis Colts. And Daniel Jones proving again, Brian Dabel has no idea what he's doing because he let this, send this guy out. But the Cowboys, Giants game, Mike, two teams that don't matter, that they don't matter. They're not going to make the playoffs. They don't matter. That game was fabulous, wasn't it?

[Michael Wilbon]

Yeah, the back and forth was good. I wouldn't say neither one of them matter. There's no reason for the Cowboys can't or shouldn't make the playoffs.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Oh, you think they will?

[Michael Wilbon]

I mean, you think they will? I don't know about will. I said shouldn't. I mean, there's no, I don't know, I'm not into the whole predicting the league after two weeks. Yeah, but the Cowboys have, you know, I mean they got, they got the highest paid quarterback in the game and legitimate talent on that team. And so, you know, it was important for them certainly to win yesterday. And the Giants were desperate with a lot of people saying they're going to be a better team. They're going to be, you know, the up and comer, the flip the season from last year and they've lost. Now they're owing to, with two ridiculously hard games on the road in division to start the season. The schedule maker, not kind to them. But yeah, there was, there was, there was a lot of good back and forth yesterday. Cincinnati and Cleveland.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yes.

[Michael Wilbon]

Where people might not have expected it and certainly the game you're mentioning, I.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Mean, I, I, Cincinnati. Jacksonville. Cincinnati. Jacksonville.

[Michael Wilbon]

I'm sorry, Cincinnati, Jacksonville.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, that was a good game. That was a good game.

[Michael Wilbon]

It was a good game and you know, I, I started with not a lot of interest in it, but the back and forth, you know, and Joe Burrows situation now makes it compelling.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Some kid walks in there, throws three picks and still wins the game and does it, by the way, by picking on Travis Hunter. By throwing at Travis Hunter. Right, right.

[Michael Wilbon]

Yeah. And Travis Hunter, you know, had, I mean, there was some moments, I don't know that he had a couple of penalties called on him I didn't believe in and I'll still take Travis Hunter, but that, that back and forth was good. It was, it was, there was, there was Good back and forth yesterday. Not as many great matchups as week one. And as you, you know, referred to, I was, you know, watching my team get blood.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Sure.

[Michael Wilbon]

Which, which is. Which was not. Which was, as, you know, not just unexpected by me. Expected. Yes, totally expected that that would be the result. And so it's going to be a long, at least first half of the.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Season in Chicago, 41 points in the fourth quarter. In the Giants game, Giants, Cowboys, 41 points and a guy to send it to overtime, kicks a 64 yard field goal. What?

[Michael Wilbon]

Yeah, that was stunning. I was rooting for the Giants to win the game, quite frankly. But when he lined up and they talked about, you know, some of the kicks he had made.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Soccer player.

[Michael Wilbon]

Yeah, this guy's gonna, this guy's gonna get. He just snuck it inside the red goal post. Yeah, I, you know, I. That was a game, Tony. So I always have red zone on the tv, the Bears on the tv and another game, some other game that interests me.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Right.

[Michael Wilbon]

On a third tv. And the other game that interested me going in was Dallas and the Giants. So I was watching quite a bit of that.

[Tony Kornheiser]

It was an amazing. Russell Wilson now again, Brian Dayball at some point in the third or the fourth quarter starts alternating with Jackson dart, which is. There's a word for that in the English language. Insane is the word because Russell Wilson is completing 75% of his passes and he's got like close to. Oh God, has over 300 yards and down the, down the stretch drops one right in the bucket. You know, they're going to win the game.

[Michael Wilbon]

They're going to win the game.

[Tony Kornheiser]

And then this kid kicks a 64, 4 yard field goal, which is amazing. And then Russell Wilson goes to the. Well one time too many, throws a lollipop in the OT and they end up losing the game because you know this kid's going to make the field goal, which is what happened. It was.

[Michael Wilbon]

Yeah, you know, he was going to make it.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I don't know that you can go to Jackson dart next week. I don't. What did Russell Wilson do wrong? Nothing.

[Michael Wilbon]

I think coaches can do anything. Yeah, but he went to him in the same game. It's not totally unprecedented if you're old enough. I remember a game in the 19 early 70s, probably when Tom Landry went play by play, Roger Starback and Craig Morton.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, yeah.

[Michael Wilbon]

That game is more than 50 years ago. And I remember it watching every snap because the game was against the Bears. And you just. There's some things you don't see Very often in the NFL and that's one of them. But if you'll do it during the game, Tony. I don't know that he won't do it. I don't know that he won't do it. This week seem weird to switch and people are clamoring and who knows what things people are whispering into the ears of coaches and what they're listening to.

[Tony Kornheiser]

There were so many good moments yesterday and they involved some good and some bad, but they involved quarterbacks. That the guy on Indianapolis now who was with the Giants, Daniel Jones, Right, that's his name.

[Michael Wilbon]

Yeah, yeah. Two games.

[Tony Kornheiser]

He's. He's had two great games. They're two and oh, they stink. They're two and oh, right.

[Michael Wilbon]

Yes. But I don't, again, I don't assign much to it. Just last year and I'm gonna, I may not get the quarterback right. I'm gonna get the results right. The Saints in the opening two games last year, Derek Carr, 100 points.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Derek Carr, 101. Yeah.

[Michael Wilbon]

Is that who it was?

[Tony Kornheiser]

Derek Carr?

[Michael Wilbon]

Like I wasn't sure. I thought it could have been Jameis Winston. I wasn't sure who it was. Derek Carr, but. And then what? And then what? Yeah, you know, I'm sure that, you know, people will have him being Peyton Manning on certain shows.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Well, our network, I think he's. I think he's been the most surprising thing in the league at quarterback. And then Mac Jones had a good game, not a great game, but certainly had a good game for San Francisco. But I would ask you this because there's panic about this now and I'm not sure it's not deserved. It might very well be deserved. And that's Miami. That's Miami.

[Michael Wilbon]

Well, people had them. They were on death watch coming into the season and people already had, you know, if you looked at people who determined these things, who had the hottest seat as a head coach doing at this and who had that. Yeah, it was, it was all Miami. And so I don't know, is it self fulfilling prophecy? Do they have the goods to get it straightened out? You know, what is it that, you know, sort of unraveled them before the season even started? Like, I don't know who, I don't know who they have next. Miami. Shit's a franchise unless something specific is going on. I'm not paying much attention to them anyway on a good day and on a bad day, I'm not paying attention to anything Miami does. But yeah, it just seems that they've been on a death Watch since August. He's in two weeks old.

[Tony Kornheiser]

They could fire this guy. I mean, you know what? People get fired. Virginia Tech fired its coach. Virginia Tech fired its coach. They started at 03. They got battered by Old Dominion. Right, Mike? I mean, people may not remember how good Virginia Tech was with Frank Beamer, but that.

[Michael Wilbon]

Yeah, yeah, they don't. And that's. You know that. Now, there was some. Also, there's some great talk about back and forth. I mean, the Georgia Tennessee game.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Great game. Great game.

[Michael Wilbon]

That was. That was the equivalent on Saturday of what happened on Sunday with Cowboys, Giants. Yeah, at least to me it was. And so, yeah, I.

[Tony Kornheiser]

And my. Notre Dame was a great game. Notre Dame's own, too, in college.

[Michael Wilbon]

Notre Dame's on, too.

[Tony Kornheiser]

They could be. They could be.

[Michael Wilbon]

I want to hear that. They have to be ranked. I heard, like, shut up.

[Tony Kornheiser]

No, they don't have to be ranked.

[Michael Wilbon]

No, they're over.

[Tim Kirkjian]

Yeah, we'll see.

[Michael Wilbon]

You know what? And so then the conversation becomes, well, they could run the table then. I just have to turn things off.

[Tony Kornheiser]

By the way, the Miami Dolphins are at the Buffalo Bills on Thursday. You could lose that game and be fired because you have 10 days till the next game, right?

[Michael Wilbon]

Oh, yeah. If they've got somebody in mind. Yeah, you know what? They've got somebody in mind, particularly that.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Doesn'T feel like a win for Miami. Doesn't. Doesn't feel like a win right now.

[Michael Wilbon]

At Buffalo is not the way to go for them. All right.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Talking.

[Michael Wilbon]

So I. That's.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Wow, talk about Northwestern. I mean, a moral victory. A moral victory.

[Michael Wilbon]

No, I mean, there's, you know, listen, it's a. It's a. It's a tough, tough transition year, I want to say tough because we lost. Lost the start this season to Tulane, which is the team that a lot of people think is the favorite to get to the playoffs in a group of five. But, you know, we're in a place where Oregon had scored like, literally 120 some points.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Really good. Yeah.

[Michael Wilbon]

The first two games. And Oregon should feel like it was screwed last year with the seeding, with having to play Ohio State in the very first game. So they came to Evanston for big Saturday, Big Noon on fox. And that's the showcase game at that hour in that time slot for the early game to get people into this. And particularly it's. It's like a.

[Tim Kirkjian]

It's a.

[Michael Wilbon]

It's an interesting cultural concept in the Midwest where that game comes on at 11am on Saturday. And so the tailgating starts at like 9. It starts at breakfast and it's like a brunch telecast. It's not. It's not breakfast at Wimbledon, but it has sort of a feel like that. And I woke up Saturday morning in Chicago to a biblical storm. And, you know, you people may be thinking, whoa, is this thing going to be played? Yeah, it was like it was clearing off and Beautiful by like 10, 15. And, you know, Oregon travels well to be 3,000 miles, you know, 2,000 miles from Chicago. And, you know, they're into it. They think they can win a national championship and maybe they can. And the spread on the game was like 28 or something. I don't know what it was.

[Tony Kornheiser]

27 and a half and you beat it.

[Michael Wilbon]

Well, we played Oregon even in the first and fourth quarters, which, given where we'd been and where we are and what kind of season is likely to be in this transition, you know, I mean, I'm not going to say moral victory. I'm sure coaches wouldn't say that. But it was. It was competitive in both those quarters in the middle. And Oregon did not just sort of run it down our throats. They had. So they had a return and a long touchdown at the end of the. At the beginning of third quarter. And so 34, 14. As you know, Tony, I said Friday I thought the Northwestern Oregon game would be closer than Bears Detroit, and I got that, right.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yes. Do you. You are steadfastly behind Caleb Williams.

[Michael Wilbon]

Understanding that. Understanding that, you know, he's got a ways to go. He's got, you know, these things everybody wants instant these days. And I just refuse to give in to that. And I think the kid's got talent and he's got to be coached. And by the way, I mean, you know, Ben Johnson's 0 and 2 right now.

[Tony Kornheiser]

That's right.

[Michael Wilbon]

You know, I mean, so let's. Let's not. Let's not go crazy. And the Bears are going to be. I had them going 05 to start the season, and we're well on our way to that. And I'm not about Caleb Williams isn't the story in Chicago today. How about a guy's defense that gave up 52?

[Tony Kornheiser]

52.

[Michael Wilbon]

How about a guy's defense that gave up a ton in the fourth quarter to a quarterback who still hasn't proved he can play at all in this league? So how about Dennis Allen's defense? I mean, the easy thing to latch onto is Caleb. With Caleb Williams in the story. Caleb Williams was okay yesterday. Started the game going right down the field. And scoring a touchdown. The story in Chicago is Dennis Allen, okay, some of us wanted Ron Rivera. We didn't get Ron Rivera. We got Dennis Allen. Caleb Williams didn't give up 52 yesterday. He went on the field for that. So the easy thing is Caleb Williams. Caleb Williams. Caleb Williams, 52 points. Well, you could team the last year against this team up north scored about 10 points.

[Tony Kornheiser]

But you saw that coming, didn't you? You said you saw that coming.

[Michael Wilbon]

So yeah, and I see and I also see coming that whoever the Bears quarterback is, they're going to have to coach and react reasonably to and not like, you know, morning television. And so there's some good things he does and then he reverts and when the game gets out of hand, we can't run the ball. The offensive line that was ballyhooed as a summertime free agent victory. The Bears with a, you know, summertime victor. That offensive line is as bad as last year's offensive line. So there's a lot going on with the Bears. And the easy thing is, oh, let's talk about Caleb Williams. Caleb Williams was about the third or fourth most important element of a 52 point beat down yesterday.

[Tony Kornheiser]

52 is a lot. This week's segment with Wilmont has been brought to you by FanDuel Sportsbook. Make every moment more. All right, I'll see you later. All right, Tom, Mike Wilbon, boys and girls. We will come back with Tim Kirkjun. I'm Tony Kornheiser.

[Show Announcer]

When did making plans get this complicated? It's time to streamline with WhatsApp, the secure messaging app that brings the whole group together. Use polls to settle dinner plans, send event invites and pin messages so no one forgets mom's 60th and never miss a million meme or milestone. All protected with end to end encryption. It's time for WhatsApp message privately with everyone. Learn [e-mail] this episode is brought to you by State Farm. Checking off the boxes on your to do list is a great feeling. And when it comes to checking off coverage, a State Farm agent can help you choose an option that's right for you. Whether you prefer talking in person, on the phone or using the award winning app, it's nice knowing you have help finding coverage that best fits your needs. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. You're listening to the Tony Kornheiser Show. The Tony Kornheiser Show.

[Tony Kornheiser]

This is Ryan Jewell. This is sent to us last week. We played a song last week. We're Playing two today sent to us by Barney Shapiro. This is called drink in town.

[Michael Wilbon]

I know.

[Greg Garcia]

This is barrel full of whiskey.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I'm sorry?

[Michael Wilbon]

Barrel.

[Tony Kornheiser]

What's the same thing? Drink in town and barrel full of whiskey. The same thing.

[Greg Garcia]

A lot of whiskey involved.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yes. They're really good. Oh, it's really good.

[Greg Garcia]

Very, very good.

[Tony Kornheiser]

You know, hard rock, country music. Yeah, it's really good. Michael, if people, independent artists like Ryan Jewell want to have their music played on this show, how do they go about it?

[Jason]

Send us your music by emailing it.

[Tony Kornheiser]

To jinglesonyquonizershow.com and Ryan Jewell plays in Tim Kirk.

[Michael Wilbon]

And.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I really like baseball. I do. I don't like it as much Tim as Tim likes it, but I really like it. And I cannot, other than the Nats and not the Nats all the time either, bring myself to watch on a Sunday, even with the Red Sox and the Yankees, when. When the football is on. And I can't bring myself to watch certainly during the afternoon where most Sunday games are played with a football on. As somebody who loves baseball as you do, how do you deal with that? How do you deal with the way the NFL engulfs and destroys everything in its path?

[Tim Kirkjian]

Tony, it's unbelievable, but remember where I've come from, Tony. I used to cover the Rangers for the Dallas Morning News. So as soon as Tony Dorsett started running wind sprints in July, I went from page one of the sports section to page five. So I know all about being overpowered by football, but it is just unbelievable to me how football has commanded this country and how nothing really matters other than football on a Sunday. I mean, this is a hugely important time in baseball. There are amazing things going on, including pennant races, and all we care about is, you know, how many yards Russell Wilson threw for yesterday. It's incredible. And good for football for figuring this out.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I.

[Tim Kirkjian]

But it just worries me a little bit that baseball takes a backseat so bad.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I feel exactly the same way. I mean, I do. I go on the PTI show and I often bemoan how much football talk there is, especially Dallas Cowboys talk. But the truth of the matter is I'm sitting in front of the red zone and I'm glued to it. I'm glued to it for seven hours. And there's nothing comparable in any other sport. They're just there. There isn't. And it's really something. Let me get to a couple of one headline I. I never even considered this. Cal Raleigh hit his 54th home run last night. He now tied Mickey Mantle, I believe Mickey Mantle had 54 in 1961 for the most home runs ever by a switch hitter. I heard of Cal Raleigh last year, but never before that. Mickey Mantle is one of the all time greats. Is in your mind is Cal Rawley. Does he have a chance to be one of the all time greats?

[Tim Kirkjian]

He Tony, he's been a legend in the in the Pacific Northwest for three years when they won the playoff, when they got in the playoffs for the first time since 2001, it was Cal Raleigh that hit a walk off home run.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Tim Kirkjian]

That got the Mariners in. So we've only figured out that he is this urban legend in the last few years nationally where yet you know the Mariners have been telling you this for years. Cal Raleigh has a chance to do some incredible things here because Mickey Mantle is without hesitation the greatest switch hitter of all time. And now a catcher, a catcher has tied him. And he's the only switch hitter ever to hit 20 homers or more from each side of the plate in the same season. So he's setting all sorts of records, doing all sorts of amazing things and it has to be repeated. He's doing this while taking a beating behind home plate. That's why you give him extra credit points. Not just because he's a catcher. He's an elite defensive catcher.

[Tony Kornheiser]

So we are now two weeks to go or so and Aaron Judge is leading all of baseball and batting average. And Aaron Judge is up to 48 home runs. If you have an MVP vote in the American League, which way do you go?

[Tim Kirkjian]

Well, I have one in the National League and I do not have an American League. So. Look, Tony, there are certain seasons where there are two MVPs. This is one of those seasons. Meaning if anybody votes for Aaron Judge over Cal Raleigh, they should not be crushed for that and vice versa. To answer your question, I would vote for Aaron Judge, okay. Because not only is he leading the league in hitting, he's leading in OPS by a wide margin. OPS plus which is an advanced metric by a wide margin. Last year we talked about him having the greatest season any right handed hitters ever had. And he's just as good this year. And Tony, he is now carrying the Yankees. They're finally getting good again and he is the reason eight for his last 14 with four homers in the last like four games. He's incredible. He shows up when they really need him. I would vote for him for the MVP today. But I repeat, anybody who votes for Cal Raleigh, given the position he's played and how much he means to that team. You will get no argument from me.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Well, if you are a voter in the National League, then I'm just going to ask you about Kyle Schwaber. Kyle schwaber now has 50 home runs and 124 RBIs. I'm one of those guys who thinks RBIs is the most important hitting statistic for, you know, for someone not batting first or something like that. Schwaber is amazing. It doesn't have a great batting average, but it's better than it was a couple of years ago when it was barely.200 and the Phillies are killing it. It's not that I think he's their best player, but he may, you know, because Trey Turner and Bryce Harper. But he may be having. He's having the best year of his life. What do you make of Schwaber?

[Tim Kirkjian]

Yeah, he's got 52 homers.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought he had 50.

[Tim Kirkjian]

Okay. Tony, he is the leader of the team. The whole thing revolves around him and, and he's having a sensational season. To answer your question, I don't think at this moment that he is the MVP of the National League because Ohtani has 49 homers and pitch walked over 100 times and he's pitching again. It's going to be hard. But I talked to a buddy of mine yesterday, guy in the game who really understands how the game is played and he told me he would vote for Schwarber for the MVP over Ohtani. That was yesterday. And then, then Schwaber hit another homer yesterday. And again inside baseball, Tony's got 21 home runs against left handed pitching. And he's left and he's a left handed hitter. And I can't stress enough, Tony, how much he means inside of that clubhouse. It's remarkable. But when you talk about the best leaders in the game, I think you start with Kyle Schwaber on any team really how important he is to the Phillies. They revolve around him in every way.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Let me get to one other thing and I talked to Buster about this last week and I'm curious about your thoughts as well. In the National League and on the Phillies, Trey Turner is the only batter above.300, the only one in the league. I know you have to go back to Karl US Stremsky for that to happen in a league before when he had 301 like a million years ago. Long Island's own Carly Ustremski. But you know, all of the changes to baseball have Been good, but one of the things they wanted to accomplish was more people on and higher batting averages. What do you make of the fact that he's the only guy in the National League above.300?

[Tim Kirkjian]

Yeah, it's unhealthy, Tony, because you and I grew up at a time where we knew who the batting champion was. Every year, Rod Carew would win all the time and then a little bit later, Tony Gwynn, Wade Boggs would win all the time. And it was a big deal to win the batting time.

[Tony Kornheiser]

And it was 330 and 340 and 350. It was not 302. So yeah, no.

[Tim Kirkjian]

And Tony, this is where we are in the game right now. We have lost the value of hit because all we care about is how many home runs do you hit. We've got. We start away from this a little bit and value the hit a little bit more. But until we start to pay for somebody to hit.300 and just get a bunch of hits that aren't homer's, we're not going to get to where we want to be. You know, the pitching, Tony, is also like nothing we've ever seen before. This is the hardest hitting environment in the history of baseball. But at some point our hitters have to make an adjustment and say, I can't hit this guy. He's better than me. The swing that I have doesn't work against this guy. Paul Mahler told me years ago he had a different approach, a different, different for like every count, every pitcher. When he faced Pedro Martinez for the first time, he said, I can't hit him. I'm older. This guy's great. He made an adjustment. Our hitters eventually are going to have to say, I can't get a hit off of this guy. With the way I'm approaching this, I have to make a change. But making a change now, when the industry has told you this is how we want you to hit, making that change is not going to be easy. And until those changes are made, we're going to have one.300 hitter in a league. More than one.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, this is. I'm going to stay on this and just go back in this regard. I know that a lot of people who follow baseball carefully discount the amount of wins that pitchers have. That's an argument I have, but I'm not going to have it now. But it feels like batting average, it feels like the arises of the world who lead both leagues and still get traded every week and a half. It feels like they have Become like running backs in the NFL. Like, nobody really cares about their great skills and they are, you know, discounted in some way, you know?

[Tim Kirkjian]

Yes, they are. Tony Arise won three batting titles in a row for three different teams, which tells you a lot about where we are with guys like him. But this is what the industry has demanded. But now I think we're finally starting to understand that that a ball put in play like say, the brewers do exceptionally well might actually lead to something good. The Padres don't hit the ball out of the ballpark, and yet they're going to the playoffs and will be a dangerous offensive team in October because of their offensive approach. So I am hopeful that at some point soon we're going to get to the point where teams are going to say, hey, a hit is better than a strikeout or a weak pop up. Let's see if we can get a couple hits here and put something together. But we are still in the mindset. Hit a home run. That's what matters.

[Tony Kornheiser]

All right. Philadelphia is a runaway. Milwaukee is a runaway. Do you see any pennant races? Do you see anybody challenging, you know, in the American League west, for example, in the American League east, in the National League west, is there a team that you think is not in first place now that will end up in first place?

[Tim Kirkjian]

The Astros are good and the Rangers are chargin even without their two best players. But I think the way that we were set up now, this is going to be the playoff structure. Even though the last two weeks could bring anything. The Mets won a game yesterday.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yes, they did. Yes, they did.

[Tim Kirkjian]

After losing eight in a row. And Pete Alonso, this is very fitting. Hit a walk off, three run homer. It's his fifth walk off, most ever by a Met. And maybe this turns the Met season around because, Tony, they were 21 games over.500. And as of yesterday, I was wondering, are they going to make the playoffs? Is there any chance they finish under.500 after going 21 over? They. I think they righted things yesterday. I'm a believer that one game, one swing like that can turn everything. And I think the Mets are going to make the playoffs. And I think all the teams that are in right now are going to stay in the playoffs.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Now, Wilbon always talks about Wilburn, loves the Padres, even though he's his Northwestern buddy, owns the Dodgers. So conflicted about this. What I like about those two teams, and I don't like the Padres and I have a visceral reaction to Manny Machado. I don't like Manny Machado. But they hate each other. That's great, isn't it, Tim?

[Tim Kirkjian]

They hate each other, Tony. To me that's the best rivalry because they're so close. Same division and they hate each other.

[Michael Wilbon]

It's great.

[Tim Kirkjian]

Really fun to watch.

[Tony Kornheiser]

The hatred is so much fun. Thank you, Tim, as always. Talk soon. Thanks, Tim.

[Tim Kirkjian]

Okay, Tony, See you.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Tim Kirkjian, boys and girls.

[Michael Wilbon]

All right.

[Tony Kornheiser]

We will come back with email and jingle. I'm Tony Kornhauser.

[Show Announcer]

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[Tony Kornheiser]

You're listening to the Tony Kornheiser show. I totally love this. It's just wet. It's liquid. It's wonderful. Jeremy. Vin should record this and sell it. Absolutely. Record an album of liquid music. It's fabulous.

[Jason]

Should play this when you get your vertigo spells. It'll anchor you.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yes, it would calm me down, that vertigo. You've never had vertigo. No, but I don't wish it to you.

[Jason]

I had some ear stuff.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I don't wish it to you. Yeah, they think it's your inner ear.

[Jason]

Yeah, a lot of that for me has been from allergies. Just it's hard not to.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Now I'm gonna keep getting it. Now I'm gonna keep getting. It stinks. You want to do the Bethesda bagel?

[Greg Garcia]

Yes. Bagel sandwich Monday. We're always excited about that. Bethesda bagels.

[Tony Kornheiser]

We love them.

[Greg Garcia]

You will as well. Just go to BethesdaBaggles.com forward a location in the DC area near Shoe. Then pop one in and you'll be thrilled.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Before we get to the mailbag, let me just say my girlfriend's run off with my car. I'm going back to her mom PA telling tales of drunkenness and cruelty. Now I'm sitting here sipping at my ice cold beer lazin on a sunny afternoon. The enormously underrated Kinks. Yes, they're just so good. Enormously underrated. Thanks to our guests today. Michael Wilbon, Tim Kirkjian. Thanks as well to our sponsors. Remember, you can listen to us on Apple podcasts, Spotify and Audacy. Get show through Apple. Please leave us a review and somebody write me about these flies. What am I supposed to do? It's a birthday wish to Jolene Wojcick, who is 60 years old today, sent from her sister Sandra Rhodey. Today is a special day for as little as I've come to know her. Jolene. At the Masters we know her as daughter, sister, mom, and gram gram to Charlotte Nell. She can hold her own in almost any sport discussion and has watched PTI forever. She snuck off once to see you at the ESPN Zone when she was in town for a conference. From Patrick Sitter in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. The three phrases sticking in my head from the September 12th podcast are peeing orange, goose farts and barking dogs. I've been trying to come up with something clever that incorporates those three phrases. Possibly a poem, maybe an inspiration for a Dan Burns song, but hard to write orange. So I just have to settle for hearing you say peeing orange, goose farts and barking dogs. P.S. peeing orange goose farts. That's Jason, right?

[Greg Garcia]

Well, goose farts was James James.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Okay. Peter Potkey, Southington, Connecticut, right near Bristol. Can we get Lockenforce shot up with multiple multiple vaccines ahead of every appearance from John Bombard? Please ask Jason to take a shingle shot every week. He was on fire from Ross Bridges in Lexington, Kentucky. They didn't just vaccinate Jason, they shot that dude up full of awesome. Best appearance ever. Dude was on fire or ice. Literally. It was so great. Scott Jerome in Salcha S A L C H A Salcha Salcha, Alaska we harvested at Chez Con in Fairbanks last weekend. Not bad for 45 minutes of digging snow forecasted for this weekend. Thanks to Sarah and Jeff for sharing their bounty. And they show potatoes. Fabulous potatoes. Yeah, Alaskan spuds from Kelly Hodges, our friend in Pocatello, Idaho. We have harvested our purples and reds and now it's time to harvest the russets. In Idaho, our ivory russets have been yielding. Well, that's good news for you because I'm sure our pile of potatoes is a leading indicator for your front yard 2,200 miles away. I've attached some photos of our storage loading facility. Each storage holds about 300 truckloads of potatoes that we piled 20ft high, 70ft wide and hello, 300ft long. We have hundreds of these storages through power in Bingham County. That's a lot of fries. I hope you have a plentiful harvest that fills your storage and if not, purchase an Alexa branded bag of frozen potato goodness from the Refugee Safeway. You'll be supporting a little and he's got wow. It's just an amazing amount of potatoes.

[Greg Garcia]

It's a little bit more sophisticated than.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Our operation from Jordan in Vienna. Which Vienna? Vienna, Virginia or Vienna, Austria?

[Greg Garcia]

That's a good question.

[Tony Kornheiser]

In 2014 I was flying from Washington D.C. to Jakarta, Indonesia. There are no direct flights from the east coast and the preferred routing is through Tokyo Narita Airport. Upon landing in Tokyo, I went to the United Business Class Lounge and staked out a prime seat near the Free Shrimp and far from a large group of teenage girls. I took out my book and looked forward to a peaceful three hour layover. I just settled in when a gentleman his wife sat next to me. I think there are dozens of empty seats. Why did they need to crowd in next to me? At 56, I was well on my way to being a grouchy old guy. The gentleman begins making conversation telling how he's just retired and is taking his wife to New Zealand. I barely look up and reply with one terse word answers hoping he will stop chatting. A few minutes later another guy comes over and says are you David Johnson? My dad took me to Memorial Stadium when I was six and you were his favorite player. I look up from my book and two feet away is sitting Davey Johnson. He tells us Hank Aaron and Sandy Koufax stories as well as some R rated New York Met stories. I go from being a grouchy old guy to being a seven year old kid. He was great and I will never forget the hour we spent together. That said, I still don't talk to people on the Metro. P.S. tell Greg Garcia that the Chipotle in Blacksburg still has its challenges from Karl Laubach in Nazareth, Pennsylvania. I pulled in the Nazareth was feeling about half past day. I was delighted to hear you mention Easton in the show on Friday talking about ice cream. I was quickly deflated after I realized you were talking about Easton, Maryland. But Nigel did mention the Eastern Assassin Larry Holmes, whom I've had the pleasure of meeting while working security for the Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs. He attends several times a year and always draws a crowd. If this makes the cut, tell my friend John Loman to eat it and the Mets stink. Nazareth, Pennsylvania, home of racing legend Mario Andretti, which I did not know. Did not know that from Morgan Jones. I think I just had a David Aldrich moment. I'm from Harvey's Lake, Pennsylvania, if you don't know where that is. My Uncle Dave had a cabin out there in the 60s. But really this is just about the connective tissue of the show and how being a little, as they say, has its advantages. Just saying. At my age, with some heart issues, I went to a new doctor and within a week he was ready to put a pacemaker in. Being more than a little shocked, I decided to go back to my original doctor for a second opinion, for background. He asked me casually what I've been up to, and I said, playing golf at Conklin Players Club. Incidentally, one of the best kept secrets on the East Coast. He says, I went to Binghamton. Yeah, Conklin is the town that's the course. No, it's. No. Yes, it's the town next to Binghamton. I think Conklin is either the first town in New York state or the last town in Pennsylvania. Played golf at Conklin Players Club, incidentally, one of the best kept secrets on the east coast. He says, I went to Binghamton. I say, you mean the college of Tony Kornheiser, Flo and Louise Gluck? No, she's my high school. The former Harper College. He comes back and says, oh, is that where that came from? I graduated from Harper College of Science. Always wondered why suddenly I'm not just another patient. I'm a little. Next thing I know, he's bringing in the chief of cardiology and the first thing he says to me is, hey, he knows Kornheiser went to my college. And then they proceed to spend a half hour with me and they tell me the first doctor misread my chart. No pacemaker, just golf. This show literally saved me from unnecessary invasive surgery. Let me check back in in six months and let me know if. Let you know if it was really unnecessary. From Brett Hobbs in Linton, Indiana. When Nigel read Reginald's betting picks this week, he mentioned the jump Evel Knievel attempted across the Snake River Canyon. I just so happened to be at Twin Falls a few days ago, vacationing with a woman who's related to me by marriage. I wanted to go see the jump off point where Evil's rocket cycle was stationed. I just wanted to look across the canyon. Same view, evil hat. But alas, since the jump, too many expensive gated homes have been built near there, preventing me from my experience. The best I could do was visit. The memorial display of the event at the visitor center attaches a picture of display. Oh, wow, it's. Yeah, it's Evil Knievel. It's a drawing of Evil Knievel.

[Greg Garcia]

How about that?

[Tony Kornheiser]

You know, trying to go over. But he pulled the ripcord before he even left Kentucky. Chuck Villanova class of 1975. Dear Mr. Tony, we had them. Just ran out of time. Number one, Villanova FCS football, one on one, traveled to Happy Valley to face the FBS powerhouse, number two, Penn State, in front of a crowd of 109,516, the largest crowd Villanova has played for as the Nittany Lions soundly defeated the Wildcats 52. 6. Vilnova scored a TD as the clock ran out. P.S. villanova Stadium holds 12,500 seats. Penn State had that many in the parking lot of tailgating, our friend Tony Beeson. So I'm sitting here watching the Red Zone Channel and out of the blue I got a phone call from DG Pleasant conversation. Talked about our grandkids, that's all. That's crazy. That's so crazy. My cousin Bobby Davidson, who lives in Syracuse, went to the Mets game Tuesday night and he was interviewed by Chuck and Roxy, somewhat famous in lore, little's lore, because it was him three years ago that went to the Mets game and announced to Chuck and roxy that he's D.G. s cousin. The rest is history. D.G.

[Michael Wilbon]

Tremendous.

[Tony Kornheiser]

If you're out on your bike tonight, everyone is always do wear white.

[Michael Wilbon]

Who wants food? What do you got?

[Tony Kornheiser]

I got brown sandwiches and green sandwiches.

[Michael Wilbon]

Which one do you want?

[Tony Kornheiser]

What's the green? See the very new cheese or very old meat?

[Michael Wilbon]

I'll take the brown.

[Ryan Jewell]

We're four by fours Working for a ranch house on a knicker Stars and stripes on a gravel drive Hitching up a bass boat trailer we're red worms and red men at the bait and tackle shop and halfway through a six pack before you ever leave to die We're a drink in town with a fishing problem Anchored out throwing down ice cold beer Cast em if you got em Crack em open if you brought em Put your worries on the water like a bob around here we're a drinking town With a fishin primer.

[Tony Kornheiser]

With.

[Ryan Jewell]

Taiwan on what we do Tie one on till the end of that rod and reel Sit and drink probably sit and think about nothing but time to kill we yell fish on when we got one on God, nothing feels like that Reel it in, take a pick and throw us another one back in this drinking town with a fishing problem Anchored out Throwing down ice cold deer here Cast them if you got them Crack them open if you brought them Put your worries on the water like a bob around here we're a drinking town with a fishing problem I need help but we ain't quitting we're too hooked on the way we're living in this drinking town with a fishing problem Anchored out throwing down ice cold deer Cast them if you got them crack them up and if you problem your worries on the water like a bob around here We're a drinking town with a fishing problem We're a drinking town with a fishing problem We're a drink in town with a big city.

[Tony Kornheiser]

It.

[Ryan Jewell]

Was charred white oak from a Lynchburg bar Was whispering in my ear it was tugging on my arm kinda like my name that's how it happened Someone tied my boots and pushed me right off of the wagon I fell into a barrel full of whiskey and a barrel full of whiskey I fell halfway down I was down in Mississippi with some hippies and a cheap motel Burned like fire all the way down that bourbon quiet sure was loud I fell into a barrel full of whiskey and the whiskey had to get me back out Back out, back out yeah, the whiskey had to get me back out I took a trip without leaving I didn't take one stab I was honky tonkin buddy I was raising hell up to my shoulder In a river full of liquor yeah, cold beer works but I got there quicker I fell into a barrel full of whiskey and a barrel full of whiskey I fell halfway down I was down in Mississippi with some hippies and a cheap motel Burned like fire all the way down that bourbon choir sure was loud I fell into a barrel full of whiskey and the whiskey had to get me back out Back out, back out yeah, the whiskey had to get me back out Back out down back out It'll risky having give me back out Whiskey smoke hung out to dry maybe I tripped or took a dive I fell into a barrel full of whiskey and the barrel full of whiskey I fell halfway down I was down in Mississippi with some hippies and a cheap motel Burned like fire all the way down that bourbon choir sure was loud I fell into a barrel full of whiskey and the whiskey had to get me back out Back out, back out Hear the whiskey had to get me back out Back out, back out yeah, the whiskey had to get me back Sam.