The Tony Kornheiser Show – “Big mouse, big mouse, big mouse”

Date: December 15, 2025
Host: Tony Kornheiser
Guests: Michael Wilbon, Pat Forde ("Pat 40")

Overview of the Episode

This episode of "The Tony Kornheiser Show" opens with the host’s signature blend of sports and daily life, featuring recurring guests Michael Wilbon and Pat Forde. The comedic highlight revolves around a “big mouse” incident at Tony’s house, while the meat of the episode covers the latest in the NFL (notably the Mahomes injury), college football’s Michigan scandal, listener mail about Apple phone updates, and memorable musical interludes. The show balances sports insight, personal anecdotes, and humorous rants in Kornheiser's unique, self-deprecating style.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Life at Home & The Mouse Saga

Timestamps: 01:03–07:36

• Tony laments the cold snap in Washington, D.C., sharing how icy streets force him to wear “crampons” while walking the dog.
• Thanks listeners for advice on fixing his iPhone after a software update ruined his settings (“Hand the phone to Michael”—[03:25]).
• Mouse Story: Tony details discovering and attempting to rescue a mouse trapped under his kitchen sink. The ordeal includes:
  • Tony’s call to Michael for help mid-roast-chicken-prep ([04:42]).
  • Michael’s reluctant rescue using grilling tongs and a plastic bag, desiring privacy while Tony and his wife hover ([05:50]).
  • The group’s speculations on how long the mouse had been living in the house, discussing “respectful mice” and signs of rodents ([06:23]); Michael says:

    “If you don't hear it scratching the walls … it's being as respectful as it can.” ([06:44])

  • Tony concludes, “Too big to flush”—a callback to a previous mouse incident.

2. College Football & Listener Feedback

Timestamps: 07:36–11:44

• Tony reads a witty, defensive letter from Chris Spira (GM, DC Grays) in response to Tony’s playful trashing of UVA football; Chris details the team’s mediocrity historically and offers stats to support his case, labeling the team “basically flushing the mouse for most of its history” ([09:11]).
• Michael and Tony affectionately praise UVA as a “public Ivy,” putting it alongside Cal-Berkeley and Michigan ([07:59]).
• Tony stands by his take that a UVA win over Duke would have changed the playoff picture ([11:01]).

3. Culinary Interlude: Latke Review

Timestamps: 11:44–12:00

• Tony and Michael extol the latkes from Balducci’s, with Michael sheepishly admitting he didn’t “wring out the potatoes by hand,” but calls them “the highlight for the boys” ([11:51]).

4. Sports Headlines with Tom & Michael Wilbon

Timestamps: 15:39–29:25

• NFL’s biggest story: Patrick Mahomes injury
  • Tony: “If I had to write the lead on the top … it was the injury to Mahomes” ([15:39]).
  • Tom: “Mahomes is the dominant figure in the post-Brady NFL. … Playoffs without him is not the same.” ([16:02])
• Discussion on NFL’s cycle of renewing stars and fanbases.
• Quick takes on:
  • Philip Rivers’ return at 44—Tom is unimpressed; Wilbon says “Micah Parsons” is the bigger headline ([19:15]).
  • Dominant Sunday victories: Bears, Eagles, Texans, Jaguars win at home as expected. “Teams asserted themselves” after an unpredictable season ([21:31]; [22:16]).
  • Buffalo's resurgence: “I would say Buffalo,” Tom agrees as the most impressive trajectory after a big road win ([23:00]).
  • Playoff Scenarios: Rams and Lions dissected, with Detroit needing to win out and “sweep” Chicago for the tiebreaker ([25:06]).
  • Denver Broncos: Tony and Tom agree Denver could match up with Buffalo or Houston due to home-field advantage ([26:33]).

5. College Football Hot Topics with Pat Forde

Timestamps: 30:35–43:18

• Michigan Scandal:
  • Pat: “Fire the athletic director … probably wasn’t providing adequate oversight here” ([31:28]).
  • Tony presses on Harbaugh’s rule-bending ways: “Jim Harbaugh did 3,000 things that were against the rules, and there are no rules!” ([33:28]).
• Coaching Carousel—DeBoer's rumored interest in Michigan, Jed Fish, and Matt Campbell named as prospects ([35:36]).
• Portal Panics: Discussion around NIL contracts and the risk of players leaving before a new coach is found ([34:39]).
• Wild Year in College Football:
  • Tony: “Incredible amount of people who got canned during the year—you never saw anything like this.” ([37:30])
• Heisman Winner Fernando Mendoza:
  • Pat praises Mendoza’s accuracy, mind for the game, and meteoric rise from “134th QB recruit” to the Heisman ([38:13]).
  • NFL potential: Pat says, “Absolutely. Six-five with a strong arm and great accuracy” ([39:31]).
• Notre Dame’s Future:
  • Tony questions their fit with the ACC after their outbursts; Pat discusses possible “irreparable damage” and court cases over conference affiliations ([41:16]).
  • Tony speculates Big Ten move; Pat doubts unless Notre Dame gives up football independence ([42:25]).

6. Listener Mailbag: iPhone Rant Resonates

Timestamps: 43:43–54:35

• Multiple listeners express solidarity with Tony’s rants about unwanted iPhone updates, commiserating on lost music and intrusive new features.
• Notable lines:
  • Ed Butt: “Tim Apple and his minions … replaced my original version of Mary Wells Is My Guy with her mid-70s disco version. Damn you, Apple. I hate you with the passion of a million suns.” ([46:29])
  • General consensus: Listeners and their families across generations feel Tony’s pain over tech changes.

Memorable Quotes & Notable Moments

On the Mouse:

• Tony: “Too big to flush. … This would have been—what do you mean, we said it’s like a bird.” ([07:15])
• Michael: “If you don't hear it scratching the walls … it's being as respectful as it can.” ([06:44])

On NFL Headlines:

• Tom: “Playoffs without [Mahomes] is not the same as playoffs without Curry or LeBron.” ([16:01])

On Michigan Football:

• Pat Forde: “They’ve either been winning championships or getting on probation. Sometimes both at the same time.” ([33:47])
• Pat Forde: “I mean, this is a time when it’s really hard to find rules to break. And [Harbaugh] found enough of them.” ([34:16])

On iPhone Updates:

• Tony: “I love you, but I'm not crazy about that.” (on talking to grown children, but echoed in the theme of unwanted changes—[01:03])
• Listener Ed Butt: “Damn you Apple. I hate you with the passion of a million suns.” ([46:29])

Noteworthy Segments with Timestamps

• Cold Weather & Mouse Story: 01:03–07:36
• Listener Email on UVA Football & Public Ivies: 07:36–11:44
• NFL Recap & Playoff Scenarios: 15:39–29:25
• Michigan College Football Scandal: 30:35–36:37
• Heisman & Notre Dame Conference Drama: 38:03–43:07
• Listener Emails on iPhone Woes: 43:43–54:35

Musical Moments

• Featured song submission: “You like pickles, I like you” by Charles Witt—AI-aided love song; Tony quips about not trusting AI ([15:17]).
• Outro: “W = FD (Work Equals Force times Distance)” by You Old Radio, with show promotion for their local gig ([29:42]).

Tone & Language

The episode features Tony’s classic blend of mock irritation, old-man rants, dry humor, and warmth. The dynamic with Wilbon and Pat Forde is conversational, teasing, and affectionate, frequently self-deprecating and inviting listeners to enjoy the blend of sports, life mishaps, and relatable gripes.

Summary for New Listeners

This episode is classic Kornheiser: part sports talk, part home-life mayhem, part complaint-fest—always deeply funny and real. The “big mouse” incident is a microcosm for Tony’s view on life’s interruptions; the NFL and college football coverage is expertly informed but never overly serious; and listener emails confirm Tony’s place as the cranky everyman hero in the battle against technological ‘improvements.’ Sports fans and podcast listeners alike will find both laughs and insight—plus a few songs you definitely won’t hear anywhere else.