“Don’t forget Reginald!”

Summary

The Tony Kornheiser Show
Episode: “Don’t forget Reginald!”
Date: September 3, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode kicks off the fall sports season with Tony Kornheiser at the helm, featuring the first NFL picks of the year (!) from regular guest Chuck Todd and a lively stretch-run baseball conversation with Mark Feinsand. It’s classic Tony: witty self-deprecation, passionate (and often cranky) rants about sports, and charm that carries familiar segments, including the beloved “Reginald the Monkey” football picks.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Golf Tales & Self-Roasting (00:00–01:43)

• Tony opens with comic lament about his lackluster golf play and the resulting mockery from friends, underscoring the show’s rich tradition of sports talk as social storytelling.
• Quote: “I've gotten a series of emails and texts from people laughing at me, saying ‘gross, gross, stop.’” —Tony (00:23)

2. Nationals, Novak, and a Lesson in Corrections (01:43–12:53)

• Tony reviews the Washington Nationals’ recent success—but only over “terrible teams” like the Marlins. He reevaluates his opinions on closer Jose Ferrer, admitting he may have been wrong. (01:43–02:55)
• Transition to tennis: Djokovic beats Taylor Fritz again. Tony, firmly in statistical mode, dismisses upset talk and analyzes chances against Alcaraz and Sinner:
  “As Shaq once said, 39 ain’t 29, bro.” —Tony (04:21)
• Notable for his attention to listener corrections, Tony apologizes for a recent error on his show about MLB batting orders.
  “It’s my mistake... I felt lousy all night about that, because I got it wrong.” —Tony (11:09)

3. The John Wall Jersey Retirement Debate (05:00–09:56)

• Tony strongly argues John Wall doesn’t warrant a jersey retirement from the Wizards, citing lack of meaningful playoff success and Wall’s reputation:
  • “Let me just say that John Wall does not deserve, on any level ever, to have his Washington jersey retired. He won nothing.” (05:08)
• Lively comparison to others (Gilbert Arenas, Phil Chenier), sports culture, and what team legacies really mean.
• “You don’t retire somebody’s jersey for that. It’s not a participation [trophy].” —Tony (08:53)

4. NFL Picks Segment with Chuck Todd (15:59–33:39)

• Chuck Todd joins for NFL “Week 1” picks in his signature, analytical style—with stories about Miami nostalgia and playful family rivalries (his wife’s Florida State ties spark some good-natured SEC barbs).
  • Notable moment:
    “I was so glad there wasn’t any sort of special uniform, special helmet. It might’ve looked like 1989 Miami–Notre Dame...” —Chuck (16:12)
  • Paul Finebaum and Alabama angst:
    “I want to listen to the Paul Finebaum callers this week... just to hear them go off on poor Mr. DeBoer.” —Chuck (18:18)
• Game-by-game NFL picks, loaded with stats, team insights, and running jokes (e.g., Jerry Jones “found alive,” Reginald the monkey’s opinions, blind faith in Ravens for regular season “Super Bowl”). Key picks include:
  • Dallas @ Philadelphia: Chuck takes Dallas +8.5 (19:58)
  • Kansas City vs. Chargers (in Brazil!): Picks KC minus the points, “just not ready to bet against KC” (21:04)
  • Steelers @ Jets: Steelers favored, Chuck expects “ugly wins” but takes the favorite (22:31)
  • Giants @ Washington: Giants +6.5, referencing last year’s weird Commanders win (24:19)
  • Detroit @ Green Bay: Packers to win, “continuity” edge and urgency with new coaches/coordinators elsewhere (26:01)
  • Baltimore @ Buffalo: Picks the “regular season Super Bowl champs”—Ravens—citing Buffalo’s defensive injuries (27:15)
  • Minnesota @ Chicago: Bears, “a lot riding on the quarterbacks’ psyche” (29:05)
  • Chuck’s take on “Week 1 unpredictability”:
    “By the fourth week, you have a sense of who’s good. By the first week? I don’t know.” (29:24)
• Side conversations about James Carville’s “never-remembered losses,” gambling bravado, and Reginald’s adventures (see below).

5. The Return—and Adventures—of Reginald the Picking Monkey (31:01–33:39)

• Comic highpoint: Reginald the monkey returns with his own NFL picks, featuring elaborate backstories (attended the Bezos–Sanchez wedding with Helen Mirren, stayed at Clooney’s villa in Lake Como to work on a novel).
  • Picks:
    • Philadelphia -8.5
    • Buffalo -1.5
    • Washington -6.5
  • All home teams, in contrast to Chuck.
  • Quote: “Wow. I blanked on Reginald. That was terrible.” —Tony (33:39)

6. Baseball Stretch-Run Preview with Mark Feinsand (35:15–50:48)

• Mark shares US Open observations (the charisma of Alcaraz and Venus Williams’ enduring power with the crowd).
  • “Venus is only five years younger than me, and Fernandez is only two years older than my son... could be a mother-daughter situation.” —Mark (37:59)
• MVP talk:
  • On Ohtani vs. Schwarber (NL): “I’ve talked to a handful of players... Every one of them has said, ‘...He’s not the MVP. Ohtani’s the MVP.’” (40:35)
  • On Raleigh vs. Judge (AL): “Except for those seven swings Raleigh’s taken... I can’t look at a guy and say he had seven more home runs, he’s the MVP when every other number on Judge’s card dominates.” (43:11)
• Division & Wild Card Races:
  • AL: Yankees, Red Sox, and Mariners in the mix; Central “locked up” by Detroit; race in the West between Astros, Mariners, Rangers.
  • NL: Padres chasing Dodgers in a real “hate-fueled” rivalry, but no clear drama elsewhere.
  • “There’s a buy so you’re actually playing for something.” —Mark (46:45)
• Colorful stories:
  • Framber Valdez’s meltdown at his catcher (47:06), Rafael Devers’ “hateable” home run trot (48:13), and old-school baseball code talk about retaliation.

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Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• Tony (wry introspection):
  “Maybe [John Wall] was a very, very good [player]. Can’t say he’s a great player.” (06:44)
• Chuck Todd (on Miami stadium nostalgia):
  “I always miss the Orange Bowl...” (16:08)
• Tony (on gambling bravado):
  “He only remembers every win. He never remembers his losses.” (30:25)
• Tony (realizing a show flub):
  “Wow. I blanked on Reginald. Wow, that was terrible.” (33:39)
• Mark Feinsand (on Ohtani’s MVP case):
  “He leads the league in runs, slugging, OPS, OPS+, total bases... if their numbers are close, it’s hard not to look at Ohtani and say he’s going to win.” (42:11)
• Mark Feinsand (on player rivalries):
  “Genuine, like late ‘70s Yankees–Red Sox or early ‘80s Yankees–Royals hate.” (45:38)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Time | Segment | |-----------|-----------------------------------------------| | 00:00–01:43 | Opening banter, golf stories & self-roasting | | 01:43–02:55 | Nationals win, closer discussion, intros | | 03:00–05:00 | Djokovic/Fritz, tennis chatter | | 05:00–09:56 | John Wall jersey debate | | 10:00–12:53 | MLB MVP correction, newspaper training | | 15:59–33:39 | NFL Week 1 picks with Chuck Todd | | 31:01–33:39 | Reginald the Monkey NFL picks | | 35:15–50:48 | MLB stretch race/awards chat with Mark Feinsand| | 50:48–end | Listener emails, show close, music |

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The Show’s Unique Touches

• Listener Engagement: Tony reads and responds to emails, often resulting in humorous diversions or additional listener-submitted stories.
• Musical Interludes: The “Dad Bods” band songs are previewed, submitted by a listener and play between segments, further lending to the show’s intimate, community vibe.
• In-Jokes & Recurring Segments: From self-deprecating “show mistakes” to the surreal saga of Reginald the monkey, the show’s inside humor remains a big draw for loyal fans.

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Conclusion

This episode captures everything fans love about The Tony Kornheiser Show—sports as life, irreverent wit as cultural currency, and an ever-present devotion to correcting mistakes, celebrating weirdness, and giving old friends (Chuck Todd, Reginald the monkey, and now, Mark Feinsand) their ample say.

Even if you missed this episode, you’ll walk away knowing:

• Tony’s still as funnily curmudgeonly as ever.
• Chuck Todd picks as much with his gut and sentiment as his stats.
• John Wall won’t be seeing his jersey in the rafters (if Tony has anything to say about it).
• Baseball, as always, is full of strange drama.
• And yes—Reginald had quite a summer, but he’s back to his main gig: picking NFL winners for the show.

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[End of summary]

Transcript

[A]

Hey, it's Tony. On today's show, we'll get our first NFL picks of the year from Chuck Todd. And we'll chat with Mark Finesand to see how pennant racers are looking as we head into the stretch run. But first, let's do some commerce, boys and girls. Previously on the Tony Kornhauser Show. Closest to the pin would have gotten him enormous shot credit on his own two inches. I'm serious. And it's 31 on the back. That's four under on the back. 68 on the day. I mean, come on. So we have won. And I have gotten a series of emails and texts from people laughing at me saying gross. Gross. Stop.

[B]

Married the subject line from when Al Serravino, have you no shame? That's right.

[A]

That's right. This is General George Washington and you're listening to the Tony Kornheiser show. Here's a haiku from Shad. It's haiku for gross versus net. It's not how one plays. The key to shop credit is the partners you pick. Yes, yes. Arch and I were useless. Useless on the gross. Arch may have helped on the net once I didn't help at all. I had no parse. It's the worst I ever was in my life. But Michael and Tom were great.

[C]

Carried the day and didn't miss a.

[A]

Putt from inside eight feet.

[B]

So message later in the day, Tom sent me a photo of his tee shot in 16. Just asking if we wanted it for show notes.

[A]

Just tremendous. So yes, everybody's making fun of me. That's okay. But I got, you know, Arch is getting his sweater.

[C]

Arch is getting a sweater.

[A]

Important thing, Arch is getting a sweater. All right, let's. Let's open the show. Let's. Let's rid ourselves of the Nats early. They. They beat. The Nats can only beat terrible teams.

[B]

A series win.

[A]

Yes. They faced a terrible team last night. The Miami Marlins. They beat the terrible Miami Marlins. Kate Cavalli left with the win. He gave up a couple of runs. It was a three run game. Then it was a one run game. James Wood hit a home run. He crushed a home run. There you go. You know, he's had a very bad time lately. But he crushed a home run. Gave him back their big lead. The bullpen was terrific over the last closer, Jose A. Ferrer. Let me go through this again. I hated him. I wanted him off the team. I thought he was absolutely the worst. Every time I hated him. He was being brought in. Michael in middle relief because they had Kyle Finnegan to close. Who drove me crazy as well. Kyle Finning drove me crazy. Jose Ferrer is a natural closer.

[B]

Different mindset.

[A]

It's. We've seen it. He's a natural closer. I. I don't know that I was wrong. Davey was wrong. Right. Miguel Cairo was. They, they kept him in that position that he wasn't any.

[B]

You're just dealing with players that you have. You might still say Finnegan in this spot is your closer, but when you're free, you're not dealing with runners on. You're not dealing with the middle of a big ending. You know your role.

[A]

So, you know, he's really. He's born to close. It looks like I really does. So I. Let me just move off that. Okay. I'll get. I'll wait to. My mistake for a little while. A couple of other things. Novak. Djokovic beat Taylor Fritz last night. I watched first two sets. I didn't see any reason to go on. No. And Djokovic is better. Djokovic beats him all the time. When I say beats him all the time, you say, oh, that's hyperbolic. No, no, no, no, no. It's 11 and oh, he beats him all the time. Fritz has never beaten him. No, you can say, well, it's an upset because Djokovic was seated seventh and Fritz was seated. It's not an upset.

[B]

The second set told you everything you need to know. Fritz gets a big break and then immediately double faults on his own service.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, he can't right from the.

[C]

Right from the jump, he looked.

[A]

It was like, oh, 30 in the first set.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And.

[B]

And you got the crowd.

[A]

Yeah. And Djokovic was very sarcastic in blowing kisses to the crowd and making fun of the crowd because the crowd wanted Fritz to win. But they were not nasty to Djokovic at all and they appreciate how good Djokovic is. Yes. Now, is Djokovic going to beat Alcaraz in the semis? Well, he's 3.0on him in hard courts, so he's got a chance. Is he going to go through Alcaraz and Sinner? I don't think so. I don't think he can do that.

[C]

That's a gauntlet.

[A]

This is not his last best chance. The Australian is his last best chance. And after that, it's over. Yeah. Said it'd be 39. And as Shaq once said, 39 ain't 29, bro.

[B]

So it's my age in perspective and that's.

[C]

Yeah, I did love in the lead up to the match. You got McEnroe talking of the famous GTIs line, he's like, Nobody beats fetus G 18 times in a row.

[A]

Well, yeah, except McEnro. Yeah, except. So anyway, at one point, it looked.

[B]

Like he was complaining about the tennis balls that he was getting.

[C]

Oh, yeah, yeah. There's all sorts of weirdness going on.

[B]

Then talking to the umpire and the umpire, like, I can't do anything about the face.

[A]

He's okay. He's a good player.

[C]

He's. He's very good.

[B]

He's supposed to lose these matches.

[C]

Yeah, he's better than anybody except for like three or four players in the world.

[A]

He's not better than them. Yeah, it's not as good as it. Okay, so we move on.

[B]

At least he got his headband right at the. After the first set.

[A]

Yeah, it's upside down. What did I want to say? So, yeah, I did the uso. Okay. There's a story in the Washington Post today suggesting that John Wall can make a case for having his number retired. He has talked about having his number retired, having his number up on the rafters, his jersey up in the rafters. Look, I'm not going to insult anyone who writes for the Washington Post. It's a fine. It's a talker. I'm talking about it. It's a talker. Let me just say that John Wall does not deserve, on any level ever to have his Washington jersey retired. He won nothing. Let me repeat that. He won nothing. Please don't tell me he won a game six. He won a game six. And in game seven, in the fourth quarter, he had no baskets. I think he was like over nine or something like that. He was the overall number one draft pick. Do you think that's an automatic thing that goes to the hall of Fame because you were the overall number one draft pick? If so, there's Kwame Brown in the hall of Fame.

[B]

No suits.

[A]

He's not in the hall of Fame. His suits should be in the hall of Fame, but not his jersey. Shouldn't be hung on the rafters. John Wall was. Was dealt away because nobody could stand him anymore. Then he was paid by teams to.

[C]

Not play, to not play.

[A]

Paid tens and twenty, thirty million dollars a year to not play because nobody wanted him around. He learned nothing as a professional basketball player because at the end of his career with the Washington team was the same as the beginning of his career with the Washington team in that he would show how fast he was. He would dribble ahead of everybody on the field. Why does that help Your team. He didn't really. Don't tell me about his assists. Because he didn't really consider other players, other people on the team. He was there for himself. He was there for sneaker deals. He said this. He was there for sneaker deals. He was not. He's not somebody who should have their jersey retired. And. And the story points out that there are other teams that have retired players jerseys who are far less accomplished to John Moore, but they played their whole careers at that particular spot and were beloved by the fans. John Wall was not beloved by the fans. No, he never won anything. He's a fine player. He's a good player. Maybe you could say he was a very, very good. You can't say he's a great player. And we say, well, Phil Cheniere got his jersey. Phil Cheniere was on a championship team. People that are on a chair, that's different. You're on a championship team. Did John Wall ever play in the conference finals? Was that the thing against the Celtics? Conference finals?

[B]

No, that was around before.

[C]

Yeah. Semifinal. Never even. I don't believe he ever made it the conference finals.

[A]

So what are we talking about? This is a sport where you can. One person can make a real big difference. This isn't baseball. It isn't football. One person out on the court out of five can make a real big difference. I mean, I just. I can't even believe that somebody would stand up and say, John Wall should have his jersey retired. I don't believe it would be anyone. Let me put it this way. I don't believe it would be anyone who actually saw Wes Unselled play or Phil Shinier play. I don't believe someone who saw them play would look at John Wall and say he, yes, he should be in that company, because he shouldn't. He just shouldn't be in that company. Now maybe they will retire his jersey and maybe he'll come back and there'll be a wonderful ceremony that I, you know, was he a better player than Gilbert Arenas? I. Gilbert arena should never have his jersey retired.

[C]

Gilbert had some very good years and didn't he? Yeah.

[A]

I mean, like, if I asked.

[B]

And there was a lot of promise for the team in those couple years. You're thinking about it.

[C]

Yes. In the early aughts, it felt like, oh, this is on the upswing. They. They actually might turn into, you know, a contender at some point.

[A]

Did they?

[C]

No, they never.

[B]

Because you had LeBron at the baseline in one of those, you know, game.

[C]

Yeah, they always just get destroyed.

[A]

They never Did.

[C]

No, they never did anything.

[A]

So you don't retire somebody's jersey for that.

[C]

No, it's not a participation.

[A]

How many years did he play in in Washington arenas? No, no.

[B]

This is one of those questions where every maybe 20, 25 years, you're looking up at the rafters and say, we need someone from our generation and that's. That shoe fits best, even if it's not.

[A]

Even if it doesn't fit.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

Right. It doesn't fit. It's like, you know. Well, he actually has two right feet. No, he has.

[C]

My friends called me loopy as a kid. John Wall's Rookie, it was 2010, 2011.

[A]

Years that he play.

[C]

Last year was 2018, 2019.

[A]

What did he. And did they win anything?

[C]

I do not believe they did. That was not the stretch where they won four titles, right? No.

[A]

So to me, if I was the arbiter, I would go thumbs down on John Wall's jersey being retired. I don't see anybody in recent years that. Because if you retire John, are you going to retire Bradley Beals jersey because he scored a lot of points? You gonna do that?

[C]

Kwame Brown.

[A]

Kwame Brown, you're not going to. But Bradley Beal, you're not going to retire his jersey. No. Because what? Because he got the best contract in the history for a player because somebody signed him to an idiotic contract? You're going to retire as Juris. No, you know, I wouldn't. That's again, that's me made a mistake yesterday. Made a mistake on the air. Didn't know it at the time. Nobody corrected it at the time. I have to own it. I made a mistake. We were doing a story on the possibility that Kyle Schwaber would be voted the National League MVP ahead of Shohei Otani. This is, of course, before last night when 20 mph home run that landed on the freeway, you know. You know, know. And I mean, I was making the case that. Yes. What I said was, sure. I could see that. Sure. Same way I could see Cal Rawley getting it over Aaron Judge. Sort of like voter fatigue on. On these guys. I said, look, Kyle Swerv has 49 home runs. Shohei Otani, this was yesterday, has 45. Kyle Schwab has 119 RBI. Shohei Ohtani has 85. And then I said, you know, they both lead off and they both play Dharma. Well, I got a note right away from my friend David Crone while I was going home before the show was over, say Schwaber doesn't lead off anymore.

[C]

That's two right.

[A]

Trey Turner leads off, has been leading off for most of the year. And Schwaber's two and. And Harper's three. Oh, I know. You know, and I thought to myself, first of all, well, I'm sorry, nobody at the show didn't correct me because we could have just stopped and done it over. We had plenty of time. We could have done it over. But it's my mistake. It's. It's not someone else's mistake. And I felt lousy all night about that. Cause I got it wrong. Cause I recall seeing.

[B]

It's a fair mistake, though, which is why it wasn't picked up by anyone in the production room.

[A]

Well, yeah, I mean, I recall seeing certainly Schwaber let off all last year, let off on that team last year. And I recall seeing an early series this year with the Phillies where I thought Schwaber let off. But I do. I did recall at that point in the most recent series, Turner did lead off. Turner did. And Schwarber batted second. So it's, it's, it's my mistake. And is it a terrible. It's not a terrible mistake. Schwaber was a leadoff hitter. But I wish I had gotten it right. I didn't get it right. I don't, I don't. I'd like. I think mistakes should be corrected. That's. That is newspaper training. There's a correction box. And normally that would be corrected in the body of the show at the end of the show if it was an omissions. If. Yes, if people realize. I don't think anybody realized it right. Because I think they're used to seeing Schwaber hit leadoff.

[C]

But I don't have to say it. But where's Tony Reali when we need him?

[A]

No, but it's, you know, it's mine. It's mine. So I don't. I don't want this to sound sad.

[B]

Just took a turn.

[A]

Yeah, it did.

[C]

Got very dark.

[B]

I think Swarbaums will be okay.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. It's not the end of the.

[D]

The world.

[A]

What else do I have? I don't know. Chuck Todd.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Or Mark Feinstein.

[C]

Chuck Todd first. Yes.

[A]

Chuck Todd first. We're back in the game. We're into betting again. This is.

[B]

There's no way he's prepared with how much baseball he's watching.

[A]

He watches a lot. And he also watched. Didn't he watch Notre Dame? He was.

[C]

He was at the game.

[A]

Notre Dame, Miami.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

So I think we should talk about.

[B]

He in the Horn section.

[C]

I don't know where he was. Yeah, probably the French horn section. Yes.

[A]

All right, so when we return, Chuck Todd and I'm Tony Cornheart.

[E]

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[D]

This episode is brought to you by State Farm.

[A]

Checking off the boxes on your to do list is a great feeling. And when it comes to checking off coverage, a State Farm agent can help you choose an option that's right for you. Whether you prefer talking in person on the phone or using the award winning app, it's nice knowing you have help finding coverage that best fits your needs. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. You're listening to the Tony Kornheiser Show. This is a group called the dad Bods. The dad Bod. It's a good name. It's a great name. We get a note from Elliot Olshansky about this says I was reading my Dartmouth alumni magazine recently. Yes, we can add this to the running tally of emails that mention Dartmouth when I saw a note from my friend Ben Selznick that mentioned that in addition to teaching at James Madison University, shout out to JMU alum Steve Lipton. He plays drums in a band called the dad Bods. Naturally, I reached out and inquired if they'd be interested in having their songs played on your high quality podcast. When I met Ben, we played together in what is now known as the Coast Jazz Orchestra. But the dad Bods are decidedly not jazz. Attached to two of their songs. This one is called Rigor Mor Mortgage, which is a sort of cute name which they would be delighted to have played for the little sadly, the this email will come too late for you to plug their Aug. 23 show at Restless Moon's Brewing Co. In Harrisonburg, which was entitled the dad bods go to 11 and included a number of Spinal Tap covers. I asked a practical question, inquired if they'd be playing Stonehenge and he started a rehearsal recording of Big Bottom, which is a nicer response than that question usually gets. Wonderful. This is called Rigor Mortgage. It's the dad Bods. It plays in Chuck Todd as we resume the most important part of this podcast, the trying to influence young children to bet and lose all their parents money before we get to the pro games. And we always tell people, this is the first week. Don't expect much on the first week. You went to Miami Notre Dame. Yes. How was that?

[E]

It was great. You know, I will lament every time I go to a Miami game now, and it's in hard rock, whatever they call it.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

I always miss the Orange bowl, but I will say this. The first time I've been to a Miami game in that stadium where I felt like it was the Orange Bowl. Like, it was. It was packed. It felt. And, you know, this is one of those. And I'm going to sound a little old guy ish here, but I was so glad there wasn't any sort of special uniform, special helmet. It was like. It might have looked like 1989 Miami Notre Dame or 1987 Miami Notre Dame or they were wearing the correct uniform. Anyway, it was great. It was great. Rained the entire first half. Oh, but they've. They've done it. This is. You got to like this owner of the Dolphins. He has made it where the only people who get wet are the players on the field. They have created just enough coverage.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

That it goes over the seats. So it's a. It's a great, great experience. They. They brought out. We brought out Jimmy Johnson. They did this entire, like, special pregame thing where they've, like, created a new thing where they do the siren and Jimmy's hobbling out there. I was just hoping that he'd bring Lou Holtz and just punch Lou Holtz in the face or something, you know, But. But the other great thing is Miami fans have embraced the whole. Catholics, convicts. Now there were all these Miami fans wearing the orange. Catholics versus convicts.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

It's like, okay, fine, we'll take it. We're convict. Let's go.

[A]

I wanted to ask you. I may be mistaken on this, but I thought that your bride is an FSU grad, and I wondered if you thought about going to Alabama. Fsu.

[E]

Well, Miami this year. So that's the. That's the compromise.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

On that. We thought about it, but we watched it. It. Look, can I just tell you that my trip to Miami became a lot nicer after Florida State beat Alabama.

[A]

Yeah. I would imagine. Yeah.

[E]

Yeah. By the way, improves that. Improves everything. Improves the mood. Improves everything.

[A]

That guy's in trouble. Kaylin DeBoer, he's in action trouble. I mean, he's got a $70 million buyout, and Alabama is not in the oil business, so, you know, that's a real big number. But he's in Trouble. He's in trouble.

[E]

I want to listen to the Paul Finebaum callers this week.

[A]

Oh, they're going to be crazy. That is like.

[E]

That is what I'd like to listen to. Just to hear them go off on poor Mr. DeBoer.

[A]

All right, let's get to the NFL slate. Let's start with tomorrow, the opening game. Dallas is at Philadelphia. Dallas is now up to plus eight and a half. Dallas will not have Micah Parsons. Dallas may be going down the bowl. I mean, who knows? It's the first game. Philadelphia, you're at Philly, and Philadelphia is really good. Philadelphia's been to the super bowl twice, three, whatever. Twice in the last five years. Whatever it is, they won two. Philadelphia is good. I mean, people criticize Nick Sariani. Are you people insane? Do you know what his record is? Philadelphia is really good. Dallas is reeling, it seems to me, from all of this stuff. Although, as we know, nobody in sports is having a better time than Jerry Jones. He's enjoying his life. Will you take the eight and a half? Not that you think they're going to win. Will you take the eight and a half?

[E]

Is it wrong that I laugh? One of the funniest things that I saw on Twitter circulating after the Parsons trade was somebody sent out a looked like an obit picture of Jerry Jones. I'm sad to report Jerry Jones was found alive today. And that's when palace fans were circulating. And you thought, wow, this is pretty morbid here. Every time Dak Prescott has been a starter for, what is it, 15 or more games. The Cowboys have won 12 games every one of those seasons or something like that. Right. You know, we forget he didn't play last year. He didn't play most of last year.

[A]

That's right.

[E]

He got hurt.

[A]

That's right.

[E]

I think eight and a half a lot in an opening game. I think, you know, there's some whispers that the players. We're sort of tired of Parsons antics or something. So I don't know. It's a lot of points in an NFL game. Opening game. I think that Dallas is going to be entertaining. They're going to have. Because they're always going to be behind. They're going to be throwing and throwing and slinging it. So they'll be an entertaining team to watch if they're healthy. So I'm going to take that eight and a half.

[A]

Okay. Kansas City is playing the Chargers. This game is, for reasons unknown to me, in Brazil. I mean, I don't know. I mean, is Taylor Swift doing a concert In Brazil. I, I don't know.

[E]

Yeah, this, this tail, this derailed the packers season last year. That horrible field love got hurt. I can't believe they're going back there. Anyway.

[A]

They're in Brazil. Kansas City is minus three and a half against the Chargers. This is a division game, as is the first in Dallas. Philadelphia is a division game. Who you like in this one?

[E]

I'm going to go with Kansas City.

[D]

I.

[E]

I'm expecting Harbaugh to turn this around and I guess I thought it would be a little more. I thought Herbert would be a little better last year. But you know, I'm not going to, I'm not going to bet against Kansas City until they tell me I'm supposed to.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

You know.

[E]

You know, and I got to think that this will pro. I think it'll be a low scoring game because of the. What happened in that field last year. I think there'll be some nervousness in there, which I guess if it's low scoring, I should be on the Chargers, but I'm just not. I'm just not ready to do that.

[A]

Okay. Pittsburgh is at the Jets. This is not a great game except for the Aaron Rodgers element of this game. That Aaron Rodgers, who was going to lead the jets to the super bowl, except he only played four plays the first year and one very good. He was okay. Wasn't very good the second year. Now he's on Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh was searching for a quarterback and they settled on Rodgers, which feels like a one year deal too at the most, if he does very well, but probably not. Pittsburgh's a 2 1/2 point favorite at the Jets. The jets stink. Like, let's understand this. The jets aren't a good team. Pittsburgh is a significantly better team than the Jets. I guess I'm a little surprised at the two and a half.

[E]

Are you? You don't see this as the Justin Fields revenge game?

[A]

I don't know.

[E]

He was a Steeler.

[A]

You're right. You're right. Yeah. You know. Okay.

[E]

I don't know.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

I'm one of these contrarians on Rodgers. Everybody's assuming this doesn't work. I just have this, this, this eerie feeling we're going to wake up and you're like The Steelers are 7 and 1 and it's going to be nauseating because if they win, they're going to be. A lot of games are like 20 to 16, 17 to 10. And if you told me that they could. That Rodgers was the difference in them winning those games instead of losing them two And a half feels right. I'll take the favorite here, but I think this is the beginning of a lot of ugly wins for the Steelers.

[A]

Okay, so we have Pittsburgh. You've taken three. Well, not three road teams. Two road teams. Everybody's a road team. In Brazil, the New York Giants, who And I watched a couple of exhibition games. I don't believe in exhibition games much, but they look significantly better this year with Russell Wilson and then with Jackson Dart than they looked last year. They're getting six and a half at Washington. A lot of. Lot of pressure on the Washington football team because they're supposed to be good. They haven't been supposed to be good in a long time. They got a kid at quarterback who's really good. They signed their best wide receiver. Everyone thinks that the general manager and the coach know what they're doing. Giants are getting a division game. Giants getting six and a half. Where do you go?

[E]

You tell me, though. I mean, that's a big spread for this matchup, no matter what the records are. I feel like this is last year. I think this was the game that the Commanders stole early. They shouldn't have won it, but the Giants didn't have a kicker or something, and they kept having to go for two or something like that. They had a kicker hurt.

[A]

I'm unburdened by memory, but I have a vague recollection of what you're talking about.

[E]

And it was sort of like the beginning of these weird wins that the Commanders got.

[A]

Not as weird as the Hail Mary win. The most weird.

[E]

But it was like. Right. It was like. They kept you like, boy, this is an accidental team.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

That'S just a lot of points. I'm gonna. I'm gonna make Reginald happy. I'm gonna take the Giants.

[A]

Okay. Another road team. Detroit is at Green Bay. Green Bay has Micah Parsons. It's. It's different with Micah Parsons. Detroit has been. Wait, I thought he was taking a shot to play. That's what we talked about yesterday. I don't. Okay, whatever. Green Bay is still a good team. They're a good team. They're a playoff team. Detroit's a playoff team. This is good. There's a big time division matchup in the first week. I am a little surprised. Detroit is getting two and a half. But they have a new quarterback, right? No, they don't have a new quarterback. Minnesota has new coordinators. Yeah, they have. They lost Ben Johnson and they lost Aaron Glenn. Yes, yes. Those were their guys. So they have new coaching staff. Detroit/2,2 at Green Bay. Who you got?

[E]

Yeah, I think this thing moved a point out to the trade. No, not now, but you know, it was. You were asking, you were surprised that I think it was closer to pick.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

And then the Parsons trade happened and I think it moved the point. Look, I think packers have to win this one because I, I want to. I'd rather get the Lions early with the new coaching staff and then, you know, later in the season I think they obviously get better and smoother and all those things. So I'm just, I'm literally just betting that that's the handicap for me here.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

Is new coaching staff. Continue. The packers are all about continuation. This whole thing is opened up for them. You got Minnesota with a new quarterback. You got lines of new coordinators and, and you know, the packers added. Right. Everybody else subtracted. The packers added. So yeah, there start. They have expectations and they, they kind of. They don't do it now. When do they do it?

[A]

Okay, so you've got Jordan Love and the packers in this one.

[E]

I do, I do.

[A]

A lot of these games are really good. You're going to want to see a lot of them.

[E]

This is like week one of college football.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Matched it.

[A]

I mean, right.

[E]

You know, just fantastic.

[A]

But none of these games is as good as this game. The Sunday night game. Baltimore at Buffalo. That's.

[E]

That to me could be the Thursday game.

[A]

This is the.

[E]

Yeah, that Dallas.

[A]

But they didn't win. They didn't win the Super Bowl. You know, that's why your super bowl winner opens up.

[E]

But why didn't they give Philadelphia better opponent now?

[A]

I don't know.

[E]

I know, but you would say it's a TV show and it's Dallas.

[A]

A TV show and it's. Dallas is exactly what I would say. Baltimore at Buffalo Sunday night. That's. That's the number one stunner here. Baltimore getting one and a half. Basically a pick game. Who you like?

[E]

I, I'm, I'm. I'm going to go with the regular season. Super bowl champs every year. Right. Which is the Baltimore Ravens. Right. I feel like they're the king of the regular season.

[A]

They are.

[E]

They. Oh, they know how to win these games in the regular season. Plus Buffalo's got some injuries on defense and all this stuff. This obviously, you know, having to do this game which may decide who the one seed is. Right. The first game of the year.

[A]

That's right. That's right.

[E]

May decide will be a tiebreaker for the one seed here. So this one really, really Matters. But Buffalo's got some injuries on defense already. Give me. Give me the Ravens.

[A]

Okay. And one last game again, a really good game, a division game. Minnesota at Chicago on Monday night. Minnesota with a new quarterback. Chicago with a brand new coach, Ben Johnson, who Wilbon loves and he loves Caleb Williams, and, you know, and we'll see. And we'll see. Minnesota getting one and a half at Chicago.

[E]

You want Caleb to do well or not?

[A]

I do.

[E]

Will Bond to suffer or not?

[A]

No, I want him to. I want him to do well. I just don't. I. I don't think that the ceiling for him is quite as high as the ceiling for Jaden Daniels, but I think they're both, you know, All Stars. I do. I think they could be. Yeah.

[E]

How do you feel about J.J. mcCarthy?

[A]

I don't know. I liked him at Michigan. He sat out the whole year. I don't know. I don't know. Do you?

[E]

Yeah. I don't. I don't buy it. I. I never. I didn't get it. I know scouts are different on this. I.

[D]

This.

[E]

This game, I feel like it's such an important game for, like, the mental psyche of both quarterbacks.

[D]

Right.

[E]

You get off to a good start, everything's fine. You get off to a rough start, and it could, like, derailed. Derail badly here. I really want to take Chicago. I just. I just think that's. That's a lot to ask in the first game, but give me the Bears.

[A]

You gonna take the Bears?

[E]

Mm. Okay.

[A]

Again, this is the first week. By the fourth week, there's a bunch of records out there. There's a sense of who's good and who's not good. But by the first week, I don't know.

[E]

Carvel talking some smack.

[D]

I mean, he just.

[E]

He just assumes he wins every year, you know, because he just throws up some. You know, this is a 13 star, you know.

[A]

Well, let me just say. Let me.

[E]

In Carville's total under of Louisiana Lafayette.

[A]

13 stars, you know, Anyway, in Carville's defense. Yeah, I know nothing about South Carolina's football team, but Carville said, let me. Let me just take this. Let me just take this. Let me take that over. On the amount of wins South Carolina over. And I said, well, how many wins? I don't know. Well, seven and a half. It wasn't. Wasn't nine. And then they went out and destroyed somebody. And that one. That one looks. It looks like James knew what he was talking about on that one. Right, Right.

[E]

Oh, say he doesn't know what he's talking about.

[A]

Right.

[E]

But, you know, he just. It's amazing. He's. He's like many a gambler. He never remembers his losses.

[A]

That's right. That's right.

[E]

He only remembers. He'll tell you about every win. He never remembers.

[B]

So no triple plays this week?

[A]

No triple plays.

[E]

He didn't have one for us.

[A]

We'll see what we got in tomorrow. Friday.

[C]

Friday.

[A]

Thank you, Chuck. Good luck.

[E]

Thanks, guys. Bye, now.

[A]

Chuck Todd, boys and girls. I love this part of the show. I do. Michael doesn't love it as much as I do.

[B]

Feels like back to school for me, though, this year.

[A]

I'm excited.

[B]

I'm excited to hear Chuck's voice.

[A]

It just makes me so happy and.

[B]

Glad he gets to get off the Nats for a little bit.

[A]

Yeah, we will. Yeah. We'll talk about baseball with Mark Feinstein when we return.

[B]

Hey, we got Reginald.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, I forgot.

[C]

I thought this was your favorite part.

[D]

Oh, my goodness.

[A]

I totally forgot.

[F]

Wow.

[A]

Yes. Forget short.

[B]

We're leading off. This is another error.

[A]

If we. If we only. But let's correct it right now in real time. If we only gave you Chuck Todd, that would be enough but we give you a monkey See the monkey, he's scritch, scritch scratching Watching his iPad Smoking and laughing Hanging with Bud Grant Tap, tap, tapping on his purple attache Nigel's going to the zoo, zoo, zoo Reginald's got the vice spy too Sometimes he throws boo, boo, boo when he's had too much Johnny walked the bl Wow. I was short shrifting Reginald the monkey Reginal's not offended. Okay, good.

[C]

It was a busy summer for Reginald, though.

[A]

What'd he do?

[C]

Well, as you probably know, he was in Venice for the Bezos Sanchez wedding.

[A]

I didn't know that then.

[C]

Just, by the way, attended with Helen Mirren. But he assured me they're just good friends.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Nothing there. Then he stayed over in Italy, Went to Lake Como, Stayed at a bungalow at the Clooney Villa where he worked on his novel, which should be coming out, I think, this winter. Of monkeys and men.

[A]

Of monkeys and men.

[C]

Yes. He's very exc about it. But he's back at the National Zoo at his flat and was excited to go with some of these matches. The first one we gave him was the first game of the season. Philly at home giving eight and a half to Dallas. And Richard showed me a lovely photograph of him cliff diving in Acapulco with Michael, Jack Schmidt, Bobby Clark and Vince Papale. So?

[A]

So he's going Philly.

[C]

He's going Philly. Not scared by the big number given.

[A]

The eight and a half.

[C]

Yeah, not scared by that at all. Okay, now the next one we gave him. This might be the match of the week. The Bills giving one and a half Sunday night, hosting the Ravens. Reginald showed me a lovely photograph of him at a poker tournament with Phil the Show Killer, Bruce Smith and Steve Taskey.

[A]

Buffalo guys. Yes. Buffalo guys. Yes.

[E]

Through and through.

[C]

Tells me he'll take the Bills on that one and lay the one and a half. And of course, the last match we gave him was the Washington football team giving six and a half, hosting the Giants. And Reginald showed me a lovely clipping from a newspaper. Might have been newsdare, might have been the Times. I'm not sure of him. In an off broad production of Damn Yankees with Dexter Manley, Otis Wansley and Clint Didier. So.

[A]

So he's gonna. So he's going three home teams.

[E]

Yes.

[C]

Easy.

[A]

Whereas Chuck.

[B]

Blind dump. Blind dump.

[A]

Chuck wins. You have more.

[B]

Strike three. Ball four.

[A]

Sure.

[C]

Joke from Hannibal Moe.

[A]

Well, that. Namath was in that.

[C]

Oh, was he?

[A]

Namath was in that in a summer production at Jones Beach. Wow.

[C]

Reginald and Namath very close.

[A]

Yankees.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. So. So he's going all home teams.

[C]

All home teams.

[A]

Wow. I blanked on Reginald. Wow, that was terrible.

[B]

A man doesn't know.

[A]

Just terrible. All right, we'll take a break. And now I can say we'll have Mark Feinstein talking about baseball when we return. I'm Tony Kornhouse.

[D]

When did making plans get this complicated?

[A]

It's time to streamline with WhatsApp, the secure messaging app that brings the whole group together. Use polls to settle dinner plans.

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Send event invites and pin messages so.

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[A]

It's time for WhatsApp message privately with everyone. Learn more at WhatsApp.com popsicles, sprinklers, a cool breeze. Talk about refreshing. You know what else is refreshing this summer? A brand new phone with Verizon. Yep. Get a new phone on any plan with select phone. Trade in and MyPlan and lock down a low price for three years on.

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[A]

Additional terms and conditions apply for all offers. You're listening to the Tony Kornheiser Show. The Tony Kornheiser Show. Once again, we play the dad Bods submitted by Elliot Olshansky. He's not in the group, but he's submitted it. The dad Bods. Love the name, don't you? It's a great name.

[B]

It's gonna make some of my friends happy. Look forward to the test.

[A]

It's called Anthem. It plays in Mark Finesand. Before we get to Mark, let's ask Michael if people like the dad Bods want to get their original independent music played on this show, how do they go about it?

[B]

Send us your music by emailing it to jinglesneycornizershow.com so we're going to talk.

[A]

About baseball, but first, Fine. Sand was at the US Open the other day. Who did you see? How did you like it? And who do you think is going to win the whole deal, men and women.

[D]

It was a lot of fun. My son is very into tennis. He plays on the high school team. And we've been taking him for the last four or five years to go to the Open one day every, every year. We went yesterday during the day session, we saw Jessica, Pittsburgh Gula win her match to get to the semis. We saw Alcaraz with his match. Man, he is fun to watch him personally, he's like a professional wrestler. I mean, he's just, you know, playing up to the crowd and flexing and getting them, you know, every point is like, you know, like could be the first set, third game and he's getting excited, getting the whole crowd into it. He's a lot of fun. He's easy to root for. We saw him three or four years ago before anybody, maybe four years ago, before anybody really knew how good he was going to be. And you could tell watching him that, that he's really just an excellent player and has that sort of it factor. And then we went over after the matches and Arthur Ash were done to the to Louis Armstrong Stadium because we wanted to watch the Venus Williams match.

[A]

Yeah, sure.

[D]

I'll tell you, it was very clear from the very beginning of that match that she and Fernandez had no chance of winning the match. But the whole place, just every point that they won, everybody was like, oh, we got to see Venus Williams. What a point. You know, it was. It was cool to see somebody like that with that history at 45 years old, still be able to bring a crowd to its feet just, you know, just by winning a point or a game. I think there was, there was some relief that it wasn't going to be Sick love, sick love right out of the gate. Because after the first few games, you were like, this could be really quick match, but, you know, just fun to see somebody like Venus and see how she can still captivate a crowd at her age.

[A]

The height disparity is. Is really something. I had no sense of how tall Venus Williams is, but I think she's about 6 2. She's apparently taller than Serena, which I did not know. And the Canadian girl appears to be about 51 or 5 2, although I'll bet she's taller than that. And the age difference is so big that I know you will agree with this. You find yourself drawn to them and you root for them. You just root for them, right?

[D]

Yeah. I mean, she's literally old enough to be her mother.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

The, you know, the, the age disparity. I mean, Venus is only five years younger than me, and, you know, Fernandez is only two years older than my son. So, you know, there's legitimately, like, could be a mother daughter situation there. Yeah, they're fun to watch. I mean, you know, Townsend and Siniakova.

[E]

Are really, really good.

[D]

And watching them, you're. You're sitting there going, it makes sense why they're the number one and two ranked doubles players in the world because they just, they just play off each other so well. And I'm no tennis expert by any means, but just watching as an amateur viewer, they're. They're really good. And, you know, the fact that Venus is out there at 45 is pretty impressive to a guy who wasn't 45 all that long ago.

[A]

Who do you like? Who do you think is going to win?

[D]

I mean, I. You, Alcaraz and Sinner flip a coin. Right. I don't know enough about tennis, you know, to have any more analysis than that, but.

[A]

So you don't think Djokovic can get through and, and beat both of them if he has to?

[D]

I'd be surprised.

[A]

Me, too.

[D]

As a, as a casual viewer, I'd be surprised if, if he was able to beat both those guys, because if you're gonna beat one of them, it's probably going to take a lot out of you.

[A]

Right.

[D]

Like one of those NCAA tournament games where, you know, the team just needs to expend every ounce of energy to beat the team it's going to upset, and then all of a sudden, you've got another monster in your way. So. But, you know, that's why they play the games, right?

[A]

Women who you like.

[D]

I don't have any idea.

[A]

Oh, really?

[D]

I Must be honest with you. I don't watch a ton of tennis except when I'm watching some of my son.

[A]

Right.

[D]

He's had me watching some of these Alcaraz center matches in the last, you know, the last year or two. But I haven't watched enough of the women to have any real feel. Plus, I'll pick Bukula because we watched her yesterday, but I know she never actually.

[A]

She doesn't get to finals. She got to one finally.

[D]

This. I will say this. The crowd in New York loves her. Well, loves her.

[A]

She's an upstate New York girl, you know.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

So maybe that matters. All right, let me get to baseball. Let me do something that we did yesterday on the show, which is talk about Schwaber and Shohei. This is before shohei hit a 7,000 foot home run last night that went out in less than a second. But could you see yourself? And I made this mistake. I said that they were both leadoff guys. I made the mistake of not realizing it's Turner as the leadoff guy this year. Last year was Schwaber for Philadelphia. Could you see Schwaber winning the MVP over Shohei? Because like, the sophisticated voter understands that Schwaber is not actually pitching and the other guy is. How do you. What was your vote?

[D]

It's an interesting question, Tony, because I recently was informed that I have National League MVP as my vote this year.

[A]

Oh.

[D]

And so I have actually been starting to sleep over numbers. And I'm a big believer in talking to the people who play and manage the game when it comes to my award votes because I can watch everything. I can watch from the press box or from my, my house. And I can watch every game and every bat and every p. But I'm not on the field doing it against these guys. And so I like to talk to players. I've been at three games in the last week and I've talked to a handful of players and said, make your case for Kyle Schwaber to win the MVP over Ohtani. And every one of them has sort of said, man, Schwarz is having an incredible year. He's definitely the Phillies MVP this and that, blah, blah, blah. He's not the mvp. Oh, Tony's the mvp. And it's not even, it's not even much of a discussion. And it's not only that Ohtani pitches because obviously when you have a guy who's, you know, one of the top offensive players in the game. Oh, and by the way, you know, he's thrown 30 something innings for, for the Dodgers. And while he's not necessarily pitching as well as he has in the past, he's still pitching at least to a league average right now. So. But you know, you look at Ohtani and he leads the league in run scored. He leads the league in slugging percentage. He leads the league in OPS. OPS plus total bases. You know, Schwaber basically has him by three home runs and about 30 RBI.

[A]

30 RBI, but.

[D]

Yeah, but again, but again, Ohtani is the leadoff hitter and Ohtani's got him by 30 runs scored. So just balance those two out. I think Ohtani, you know, they're both basically DHS, although one of them also pitches. And if, if their numbers are pretty close to each other, it's hard not to look at Ohtani and say he's going to win. Look, if Ohtani has a terrible September and obviously he's off to a start where he hit a 700 foot home run last night, like you said, if he is a terrible September, Schwaber goes out there and ends up with 63 home runs and the Phillies end up getting a buy over the Dodgers. Sure, it's possible. I don't see right now that Schwaber has no chance to beat Ohtani, but I think it's going to take some sort of herculean September combined with Ohtani sort of stumbling a little bit.

[A]

What about in the other league? Could you see Cal Rawley being rewarded with the greatest hitting season a catcher has ever had in terms of home runs and beating Aaron Judge?

[D]

Well, I think for that to happen, it's going to have to be a bit of a narrative situation because based on straight numbers, home runs is the only thing Cal Raleigh that's really got. That's Judge and RBIs. But you know, Judge missed a little bit of time. He's 10 RBIs behind him. He's, I think seven or eight home runs behind him. But if you look at the underlying numbers, I mean, Judge has a much higher war. He's leading the league in all three slash line categories, batting average on base and slugging, and by a fairly wide margin. You know, his, his ops is almost 200 points higher than Raleigh. So, you know, except for Those, you know, seven swings that Raleigh's taken, you know, Judge is hitting.325, Raleigh's hitting.242. So unless the Mariners end up, you know, ahead of the Yankees, you know, they, they finish with a better record, maybe they come back and win the division, which right now they're still in the mix for. I Think it would have to be a Raleigh. Huge September carries the Mariners to a division title. Yankees stumble to a wild card situation. Because if you just look at all the, all the numbers, again, I don't think it's really close. I can't, I can't look at a guy and say, well, he had seven more home runs or he's the MVP when every other number on Judge's card just dominates where Raleigh is.

[A]

So we're in the last month. What are the real pennant races? Are there division races? Are there real division races in your mind that could go down to the last week? Let's say.

[D]

I think there are, you know, the Blue Jays sort of come back to earth a little bit and all of a sudden the Yankees and Red Sox are both within, yes, you know, two and a half games in first place. That's going to be interesting. Detroit's got it locked up in the Central. You know, Houston seemed to have it close to locked up, but now the Mariners are only three games back and the Rangers are sort of lurking at four and a half. That the Nathan evolved. The injury, I think, is a big blow for Texas. I thought they were putting themselves in position to maybe make a little bit of a late charge here. The National League's a little less exciting. The Phillies and brewers both have 5ish games leads. They're probably going to wrap those up. The Padres are still only two and a half behind the Dodgers, though. And I think, you know, those two teams are so fascinating when you watch them play each other. There's such anger and there's such.

[A]

They hate each other. They hate each other like really, really.

[D]

Genuine, like late 70s Yankees, Red Sox or early 80s Yankees, Royals hate. And so those are, you know, those are games that when they, when they, when they meet up, you, you can't take your eyes off of them. Unfortunately, they're done playing each other for the year. So if we have to see them, if we see them again, it'll be in a postseason situation. That said, San Diego's got, you know, three games, I'm sorry, seven games against Colorado. They're gonna win them at three, three against the White Sox. And so, you know, the schedule's there for the Padres to, you know, to make things interesting here in the West. So there are some division races, the playoffs in general. There's not a whole lot of drama left. You know, there will be some, some division races where you're wondering, get it by who's going to have home field, that kind of thing. But essentially, you Know, the Yankees and Red Sox both have four and a half game leads on the Mariners. So basically the Mariners, the Rangers and the Royals kind of in that mix for the last ale spot. And then in the National League, I mean, the wild cards essentially done.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

I mean, the mess of a five game lead on the Reds and the Giants for the last spot. So, you know, there's not a whole lot of drama outside of maybe the last AL wild card spot. But, but some of those division races will get interesting and the fact that there's a buy, you know, you're actually playing for something.

[A]

Did you, did you see the footage on Valdez last night? Did you see this?

[D]

I did not. I was driving home from.

[A]

Because I think he gave up a home run and was mad at his catcher. Like, if I, if I have this right, did Houston lose?

[D]

Yeah, I read about this. Yes, there was.

[A]

So he seems to be mad at his catcher after he gives up a home run. And then it, what seemed to me happened was he deliberately what the catcher called for, he threw another pitch and hit the catcher in the chest. Right. Did you read about that?

[D]

I did read about it. It's not, not the harmony you want entering a tent race, you know, especially as we just talked about the Mariners trying to chase them, then the Rangers trying to chase them down. He probably wasn't as mad as you see the Rockies last night with Raphael Devers.

[A]

Oh, he took 25 minutes, the pictures yapping at him.

[D]

Yeah, forget, forget rounding the bases just to get out of the box. And Kyle Freeland took exception to that.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Ended up taking. It was so the bench was cleared and Deborahs finally crossed home plate eight minutes after he hit the home run. Between the, the, after the. After the.

[A]

Am I crazy or is Devers hateable?

[D]

He is. He is hateable by a lot of people. I think, you know, the whole situation of him, how he left Boston, you know, I'm not playing first base and all that. And the whole lack of sort of team player thing rubbed a lot of people the wrong way. And obviously he went to San Francisco and he's been great for them. He just, you know, hit home runs, killing the ball, hitting home runs, you know, every day it seems. And he's, you know, interestingly willing to play first base over there. But yeah, he's, you know, I'm not a big pimp, the home run guy to begin with. But if you watch the replay of that home run last night, he stood there, he admired it. He took one step, he admired it. He kept you know, it's a first inning, man. Like, this isn't, this isn't Jose Batista bat flip in a walk off in a playoff game. Like, let's, let's, let's simmer down a little bit.

[A]

So you, you think the pitcher had justification? Because, I mean, I didn't get the time sense of it, but I thought, wow, he's yapping at a guy who just took him out. He just took you out. Shut up.

[D]

The problem with justification is, you know, you don't want to. You don't want a guy to pimp a home run against you. Throw a better pitch, don't give up the home run.

[A]

Right.

[D]

I'm not, I'm not absolving Freeland of anything in this one either. I think they both prob had a little bit to do with it, but yeah, I mean, what was it? Wasn't it Bum Garner? Wasn't that the whole thing with the Dodgers one year they were talking about. He was, he was mad at somebody pimping a home run and they said, well, then don't throw that pitch. And he made shirts up. He was all pissy about it. So, you know, guys have some emotion. I don't mind it, but first inning of a game in September where you hit a home run off a team that just lost this hundredth game. Like, this isn't.

[A]

Do they play again?

[D]

This isn't Bobby Thompson.

[A]

Do they have another game in this series? Do they play again?

[D]

I believe they do.

[A]

Do you think that somebody's going down in the first inning game?

[D]

There's a good chance.

[A]

That's what I think.

[D]

The Rockies out. What do the Rockies have to do, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

You're 39 and 100. There's not, you know, whoever, whoever's starting that game, you know, who cares whether it's a starter or reliever? But even if it's a starter, you know, okay, so maybe it sets you up for loss. 101. Big deal, right? Actually, they closed the season against each.

[C]

Other too, so 8:40 tonight. If I mispronounce his name, I apologize. German Marquez or Herman Marquez?

[A]

Yes. He's pitching for Colorado.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

And who's batting first? Is. Deborah's going flat on the ground at some point. Oh, what? Because, I mean, they're gonna fight. They fought. There was fighting. It was fighting. All right, Mark, thank you so much as always. We'll talk soon. Thank you.

[D]

Thanks, Tony.

[A]

Mark Feinstein, boys and girls. We will take a break. We will have email and jingle when we return. I'm Tony Kornheiser Lowe's has the Labor Day deals you need to give your home a new look. Buy one, get one free. Select interior paint via Visa gift card rebate, then add the final touch with two for $8 on select 2.5 or three quart mums. Refresh your home and save big while doing it. Lowe's we help you save valid through nine. Three mums offer in store only. Selection varies by location while supplies last. More terms and restrictions apply. SeeLowes.com rebates for details, you're listening to the Tony Kornheiser Show. James Bug. We owe our thanks to him playing the guitar. Very, very lovely. It's a lovely version.

[B]

Jim Bug.

[A]

Not Jim Bug. Not. The guy once said to me, is that Cornheiser? Is that a Swedish name? You actually said that.

[B]

The roller coaster swing.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Bethesda Bagel Land.

[C]

Yes, Bethesda Bagels. We love a mule as well.

[A]

Swedish, huh?

[C]

Just great Steel farmer from Sweden, right? Bethesda Bagels.com for the location nearest to you in the DC area. Just pop one in and you'll be thrilled.

[A]

All right, before we get to the mailbag, let me just say in the day we sweat it out on the streets of a runaway American dream. At night we ride through mansions of glory and suicide machines sprunk from cages out on Highway 9 Chrome Wheel, fuel injected stepping out over the line baby this town rips the bones from your back It's a death trap it's a suicide rap we gotta get out while we're young and we're not young anymore. Cause tramps like us maybe we were born to run. That's Bruce Springsteen. Is that because I was quoted the other day?

[C]

Yeah, a little bit.

[A]

That's very nice. Very nice. Thanks to our guests Chuck Todd and Mark Feinstein. Thanks as well to today's sponsors. Remember, you can listen to us on Apple podcasts Spotify and Audacy if you get the show through Apple. Please leave us a review from Claire Natola Koolan. Claire in Delaware, Ohio Last night I dreamt that I needed to replace my cell phone and James Carville gifted me with his, saying he'll just buy himself a new one. I was so proud of myself for resisting the temptation to call any of the famous people he left in his contacts. Surprisingly, people I did call were able to understand me. Steve Lenowitz. So I have pronounce that correctly. Today's edition of Newsday has an item in the sports section with an article celebrating they're covering famous Athletes such as Jim Brown, Carl Yastrzemski and Julius Irving as youth, they're all Long island players, just so you know. They're all from Long Island. Jim Brown was from Manhasset, Carl Yrmsky from Suffolk County, Julius Irving from Roosevelt. Then they mentioned several other auspicious items. As you are unburdened by memory, this might be interesting for you. July 22, 1970. Lynbrook's Tony Kornheiser, a week after turning 22, debuts with a poetic preview of a boxing match between Jimmy Elder and Charlie Harris at Freeport Stadium. Charlie Harris's face is paying its dues. He wrote in a piece even Waters probably liked. Hopefully this stirs something up in there besides lyrics from Steve Lenowitz and Bonita Springs. Waters is Bob Waters, who was the boxing writer. And that was the first piece I ever wrote for Newsday. It was about, basically about Charlie Harris. Jimmy Elder was an established fighter. Charlie Harris was not. Yeah, it's a long time ago.

[C]

It's been a minute.

[A]

It's a long time ago. It's a long time ago. I was pretty good.

[C]

I was pretty good.

[A]

From David Cassidy. Not that David Cassidy, no. In addition to my 15 minutes of fame as an Animal House extra, I am a retired naval officer. I listened to today's podcast. I want to share this story. When I was a young Navy lieutenant, I was assigned as a flag lieutenant. That's an aide to admiral working as the Deputy Commander of the United States Pacific Fleet at Pearl Harbor. Honolulu's Boy Scouts used to have a charity golf tournament on Navy Marine Golf Course. The CEO of the Boy Scouts always asked for an admiral to play the tourney to represent the Navy. My boss was asked to play. The format was best3net, meaning the worst score of a foursome was thrown out each hole. The day of the tourney, the fourth in my admiral's group called in sick, meaning every score in that group was counted. Even worse, one member of the group was a retired four star admiral, a former commander of the US Pacific Fleet. The day before the tourney, the retired admiral's doctor put him on a new medication which turned out to be too strong. When this admiral arrived for the tournament, he was high on prescription drugs. There were 40 foursomes in the tournament. At the end of the day, my Boss's group finished 37 strokes behind. Not 37 strokes behind a leader, 37 strokes behind the 39th place tee. When my boss told me the story the day after the tournament, we just laughed. My admiral is now deceased but almost every time we connected and told war stories after that, we laughed over that day of golf. Yeah, that's wow. That's a wow. Michael Kamiske Mike Comiskey in Kansas City who has I believe sent me things to the PTI show. I believe he has. I'll have to check that out when I go in on Thursday. Long time first time. This weekend our eldest two children mask and children turn 10 and 8 years old. With the holiday weekend we planned a sports filled extravaganza to celebrate these sports crazed by boys. Friday night we made the short jaunt up to Lawrence, Kansas. See the football Jayhawks dominate the Wagner Seahawks of the NEC with a fun pregame interactive area on the Jayhawks practice field. Saturday turned to MLS soccer. We witnessed a thrilling comeback by hometown Sporting Kansas City over the Colorado Rapids to win 42 with an on field game experience for the boys. Now for the real reason for my email Sunday we enjoyed an afternoon matinee of America's pastime, the Kansas City Royals hosting the league leading Detroit Tigers. Through some personal connections I was able to secure tickets directly next to Royals dugout and Matt Cottrero's perch who gave us a nice smile and thumbs to the lecheeserie cat call. That's so nice. The lady I'm related to by marriage's utter embarrassment and confusion. Tariq Skubal dominated the Royals like he does most teams, giving up just four hits and seven innings. As I lost interest in the late inning on field action, I immediately perked up when I heard the announcement of Kyle Finnegan Lincoln coming in for a scoreless eighth inning of relief with a strikeout. As we began to exit from the stadium, we crossed paths with Matt as he made his way from the locker room to the post game press conference area. Many families around the area. He looked at his comms guy Sam, give me a minute. Communications guy Sam, give me a minute. Said hello, took pictures, really is a nice guy. Happy to have him as the royal skipper. Thanks for the years of laughs on PTI and the podcast. Good luck hitting another 150 episodes this year. So that's very nice. That is nice.

[C]

I love Matt.

[A]

Yes, that's very nice. John in Herndon, Virginia I'm heading to Houston, Austin and San Antonio in that order to visit family and my son. Next week my son is finishing training to be a medic in the US Army. Could Michael give me directions? Please avoid toll roads Since Texas has their own electronic toll system and easy pass won't work there, I plan to stop At Franklin's Barbecue in San Antonio, where Arch Campbell stops all the time.

[C]

That's the place.

[A]

I know this isn't pizza in Rehoboth, but any suggestions are welcome. I'll hang up and wait. By the factsmanship, I would just say that Arch swears by that. Yeah, whatever.

[B]

You can get the brisket.

[C]

Yeah, just head out 66 and then hang a left at some point.

[A]

Yeah. If you ever plan to motor west, take my way. It's the highway. It's the best. Kyle Caldwell. Edmonton, Alberta in Canada. Is there any chance we could get some lines or odds from Jeff, Rufus, Jason or even T boy? By what week does Jason want Caleb William, Caleb Williams benched? By what week does Wilbon start making excuses for the Bears? By week 10, does Wilbourne want the coach GM both or neither? Fired?

[E]

Over.

[A]

Under what week does Wilbond call for Bench Johnson to be fired? How many weeks until Wilbon overreacts positively negatively about Russell Wilson? Thank you. All right. Did you get to bed earlier than usual last night? Because you were going to work tomorrow after vacation was probably a little too long. Dg.

[C]

Just checking in.

[A]

And one more. Patrick Graham from Catonsville, Maryland, just to clear things up for you. Ocean View, Delaware is near my mom's home. If you're wondering where Catonsville, Maryland is, it's where my wife grew up. Hope this helps. On your bike time. To everyone, as always, do wear what?

[F]

Come on now, cool out. That means everybody just cool out. Will you cool out? Everybody? Come on. Inside on the dotted line 30 years will be just fine Dreading blood, sweat and tears you're nuts caught in the gears yet there's no money for repairs so let's fixate won the interest rate locked in tight and liquidate or refinance there's no cure for it rigor mortgage I've got that rigor mortgage there's no cure for it Rigor mortgage fucking death flow shortage a quick 1, 2 financial sucker punch shit for breakfast, dicks for.

[D]

Lunch.

[F]

Dinner time draws near Pulling out your hair none of this seems fucking fair A leaking roof the walls are fucking cracked Crawl space crawling with crawl space jacks what an rigor, Morgan there's no cure Bread regular Mort a goddamn bit of twist Rigor Morgan there's no cure for it rigor Morgan cash flow shortage.

[A]

Now we expect anybody.

[E]

How the fuck are we gonna pay for this repair?

[A]

You're getting real tired of this house.

[D]

Owning me.

[F]

This dream was a nightmare this dream was a nightmare this dream was a nightmare this dream was a nightmare. I'm an itching heap of daddy Me, I ain't no cash but I don't cheat My wife and kids they depend on me the chubby trunk of the family tree Pizza wings and vindaloo.

[E]

Porter.

[F]

Stouts and loggers too I cancel Weight Watchers again Singing the Dad Von Sam. Sam. And so we sing the dad Boss anthem A song to get us through the night and I know I must keep going strong I'm hoping everything will be alright the doctor says I'm an anxious mess 200 pounds of nerves and stress But I take pills to fight cholesterol and isolate demons with weed and alcohol Fuck exercise and fashion fads Three punk Rockin Dads My name is Lars.

[A]

I'm Josh I'm Rhett.

[F]

We're singing the dad bod Sam. Sam. And so we sing the Deadbot Sansom A song to get us through the night and I know I must keep going strong I'm hoping everything will be all right Sam. So we sing the Deadmar Phantom A song to get us through the night and I know I must keep going strong I'm hoping everything will be all right Hoping everything will be all right yeah, I'm hoping everything will be all right.