“I Was Utterly Useless”

Summary

Podcast Summary: "I Was Utterly Useless" – The Tony Kornheiser Show

Introduction

In the April 4, 2025 episode of "The Tony Kornheiser Show," host Tony Kornheiser delves into a personal anecdote that highlights his feelings of helplessness, followed by an in-depth discussion with sports columnist Barry Zverluga about the NCAA Final Four and NHL superstar Alex Ovechkin's pursuit of the all-time goal-scoring record.

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Personal Story: The Day Tony Felt Utterly Useless
Timestamp: 04:00 – 10:50

Tony opens the episode by recounting a distressing incident involving a young woman named Clara. Clara, who regularly walks her dog across the street, found her Mini car inexplicably rolled over a city sign, immobilizing her vehicle with the sign lodged underneath. Despite Tony's attempts to assist, including enlisting the help of his athletic neighbor Ben and Ben's children, Tony felt powerless throughout the ordeal.

• Tony Kornheiser (04:15): "I think this is fair to say, as people would predict, I was utterly useless."

• Tony Kornheiser (09:02): "If you can have both of them, a nice Masters and OVI break the record Thursday night at home. I'll be smiling ear to ear for a month."

This story underscores Tony's self-reflection on his lack of practical skills in emergency situations, contrasting his usual role as a commentator and host. The episode emphasizes themes of vulnerability and the importance of community support during unforeseen crises.

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Discussion with Barry Zverluga: Final Four Insights
Timestamp: 13:21 – 35:44

Barry Zverluga joins Tony to discuss his coverage of the NCAA Final Four, providing expert analysis on team performances and coaching dynamics.

• Barry Zverluga (14:32): "Whether this is agreeing with him or not, that Maryland lost its way a long time ago in chasing football and football money..."

• Tony Kornheiser (35:10): "Ralph Willard. Ralph Willard. Kevin Willard could call him Ralph Willard."

Barry critiques Maryland's basketball program under Coach Kevin Willard, suggesting that administrative decisions and financial priorities have hindered the team's potential. He also touches on the broader impact of NIL (Name, Image, Likeness) rights and the evolving landscape of college athletics.

Key Points Discussed:

• Maryland Basketball's Struggles: Barry argues that Maryland has veered off its basketball-focused path in pursuit of football revenue, leading to inconsistent performances.

• Coaching Changes and Their Impact: The conversation delves into the recent coaching changes, with Barry expressing skepticism about the long-term effectiveness of hiring coaches like Buzz Williams over Kevin Willard.

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Alex Ovechkin's Quest for the Goal-Scoring Record
Timestamp: 35:45 – 43:18

Moving from college basketball to the NHL, Tony and Barry shift focus to Alex Ovechkin's pursuit of Wayne Gretzky's all-time goal record.

• Tony Kornheiser (20:24): "He's Babe Ruth. And Babe Ruth's bigger than Henry Aaron and bigger than, you know, Bobby Bonds and Barry Bonds. No, he's Babe Ruth. There's no question."

• Barry Zverluga (19:51): "Wayne Gretzky will always be bigger than Alex Ovechkin. Yes. And that's not taking anything away from anybody."

Barry emphasizes the historical significance of Wayne Gretzky's record, asserting that while Ovechkin is a phenomenal player, Gretzky's legacy in hockey transcends individual statistics. They discuss the NHL's strategies to promote Ovechkin's milestone, including increasing televised coverage and featuring Gretzky at games to heighten public interest.

Key Points Discussed:

• The Legacy of Wayne Gretzky vs. Alex Ovechkin: The panel debates the enduring impact of Gretzky's records compared to Ovechkin's achievements, highlighting the cultural and historical weight each player carries.

• NHL's Promotional Efforts: Tony and Barry analyze the NHL's plans to capitalize on Ovechkin's potential record-breaking goal, including leveraging Gretzky's presence and expanding national broadcasts to maximize viewership and fan engagement.

• Team Dynamics and Performance: They also touch upon the Washington Capitals' current losing streak and debate whether the pressure of Ovechkin's chase is influencing the team's performance.

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Conclusion

Tony Kornheiser wraps up the episode by reflecting on the multifaceted discussions, emphasizing the interplay between personal vulnerability and professional sports dynamics. The episode provides listeners with a blend of heartfelt storytelling and analytical sports commentary, showcasing Tony's ability to navigate diverse topics with depth and relatability.

Notable Quotes:

• Tony Kornheiser (04:15): "I was utterly useless because I can't. I don't even recognize the concept of jacking up a car."

• Barry Zverluga (35:44): "There's a fairness thing that goes into this. And so I'm not jonesing for one team over another."

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Final Thoughts

"I Was Utterly Useless" offers a compelling mix of personal narrative and sports analysis, making it a standout episode for both long-time fans and new listeners. Tony Kornheiser effectively balances emotional storytelling with insightful discussions on pressing sports topics, delivering a rich and engaging listening experience.

Transcript

[Tony Kornheiser]

Hey, it's Tony. On today's show, we'll talk about the final four with Jay Bilis. We'll also talk to Barry Zverluga about Alex Ovechkin closing in on the all time goals scoring record. But first, let's do some commerce, boys and girls. Today's episode is presented by bank of America who supports everyone determined to find out what's possible in golf and in life. Find out [e-mail] MastersGolf bank of America NA member FDIC. Copyright 2025 bank of America Corporation. All rights reserved.

[Barry Zverluga]

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[Unknown]

That's what happens if you start to bomb what happens because if you're doing good, it's great.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yes.

[Unknown]

And there was one time I gave a speech at a wedding where I got a groan. I made a short joke about the groom and they, the family didn't like it. I thought it was a good joke. He was short, she was tall. I said they were dating for a while, but for the first three dates she thought she was dating the guy that was standing behind him. But eventually she dropped, dropped her keys and they locked eyes and it's been love ever since.

[Barry Zverluga]

The Tony Kornizer show is on now.

[Tony Kornheiser]

That's why he's a pro and you're not.

[Unknown]

Short people got no reason.

[Tony Kornheiser]

No reason.

[Unknown]

They got little head.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah. Yeah. So I played golf yesterday. I, I snuck out, I played 14 holes in the morning I was on, you know, I was part of a foursome that was the first group out with three different. Yeah, with three. Well, I'll get to that. It wasn't really do sweepers with three different carts and we were able to make a very good time. And I played 14 holes in, I don't know, 2 hours and 20 minutes and that was enough. And then I got ready to, you know, I got home so that I could do the phone call for PTI, but it rained on 1 through 12. Rain that was not predicted rain that was not in the forecast. Not heavy rain, misting, consistent rain. I played fine. I mean, I didn't, I didn't hate it. I was just wet, you know, and when you drive a cart and then. And the rain accumulates, the rain then falls in on you.

[Unknown]

Sure.

[Tony Kornheiser]

You know, so you have to have.

[Unknown]

You have to go full rain gear.

[Tony Kornheiser]

No, no. I mean, I didn't shield up though, on the cart. I left it down. I didn't care at that point.

[Unknown]

So you're driving straight into it.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Right into it. Because I'm an imbecile. I put on a jacket at about 8 and then by 13, it appeared that the rain had stopped. But, you know, I could have gone a couple of more holes, but it was okay. 14 holes was just fine.

[Unknown]

So you had to drive through 15 to get in?

[Tony Kornheiser]

I had to. No, I had to drive left. I came under the tunnel and went up and went to 18, you know, because I knew that since we were first, I could go through 17 and 18 and not run into people and not have to stop and not get in their way. I had a really, I was really glad I played. I enjoyed it. And on 14, I made a 40 foot putt and for a par, I was really excited.

[Unknown]

Where's the pin?

[Tony Kornheiser]

The pin was as you look at the whole middle. Right. All the way right.

[Unknown]

Okay. So there was no worry about you putting it off the green.

[Tony Kornheiser]

No, no, no, no. And I was way on the other side and made a 40 foot left to right putt and was excited.

[Unknown]

Did you ever consider just leaving the ball in the hole and walking off?

[Tony Kornheiser]

No, never. So that I could let my partners pick up a perfectly good ball. No.

[Unknown]

Pull a Jordan Spieth. Go get that.

[Tony Kornheiser]

No. It was really nice. I was happy to do that. That's not my story for the day. My story for the day has to do with something that happened yesterday evening. We have, we have a young girl who walks Chessy most evenings. Most weekday evenings. Her name is Clara. She's very sweet. She loves the dog and the dog loves her. She taught the dog to, you know, when she puts her hand out, the dog puts her paw in Clara's hand.

[Unknown]

Oh, shake hands.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, yeah. But then she's got to get something to eat. If not, she's going to kill Clara. So you always have to. Anyway, so Clara drove over here to, you know, walk the dog. And when she was done walking the dog, she looked across the street where her car was parked and she says, that's not where I parked my car. I parked my car further up the street. I said, what? She said, yeah, I don't know how my car got there. And it had run over a city sign. These things are very durable and very strong. These metal signs that say things like, you know, construction up ahead or. Yeah, and they're the orange. The bright orange signs. And that was knocked to the ground. The whole thing was under her car. Was under her car. And I. I said, well, how did. I thought, did someone pick your car up? Did somebody bang into your car? Let's look at the back to see if there's a dent. No dent on the back. How could this have happened? So did you have the parking. So I had the parking brake on. Well, how could this have happened? Because then we thought. And so then there were other people working on the street building homes, and I said, did any of you see anything with this car? And they looked at me like, you know, who's this guy? They said, no. And we couldn't figure it out. In the front of Clara's car, in the front, and it's a Mini. It's one of those cars, a small car. In the front of it was a tear in the hood, you know, where it obviously ran into the sign. So now the sign is underneath her car, and she cannot go forward or go backwards. The car has to be jacked up to see if you can get out of that situation. And fortunately for everybody, my across the street neighbor Ben, who I like very much, who has two kids a couple of years older than Michael's kids. Right. I would say 11 and 9, something like somewhere. 10 and 8, something like that. And they come out, and Ben is a very athletic, very fit guy, probably 40 years old. Right. Do we think that.

[Jay Bilas]

Yes.

[Tony Kornheiser]

You know, and. And loves to play ball with his kids. And, you know, said, I've got a jack, you know, and he brings it out, and he tries to get it under the car, and it's too big for the car, and he tries to lift the car up and is able. Finally.

[Unknown]

John Valjean.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah. So, I mean, his. Yes. And his kids are, like, trying to help, doing a great job, but they get themselves under the car every now and then. And Ben thinks, well, Clara, maybe you can back out. And I go, whoa. Oh, wait, stop. Because I'm terrified that Clara will either go forward or go backwards in some sort of jerking maneuver, and something will happen, and the kids will get run over. So I said, boys, you know, get away, get away, get away, and all of this. And. And then Clara's father Comes, and Clara's father determines that Clara must not have put the parking brake on, or else how could it roll this far? And expressed a certain amount of joy that it ran over the sign and was stranded over the sign, because if it had kept going, God only knows what it could have hit. Sure, right. You know, so. So there was a sense of relief on his part that the car was stuck where it is. And ultimately, with a lot of help from Ben and the kids, ultimately she was able to back out a little bit and then back out completely. These. These signs are very, very strong, and they are expandable. So you can't try to. If you try to pull the sign out, you just pull one of the three or four legs out, and you're not doing anything. And I was. And I think this is fair to say, as people would predict, I was utterly useless.

[Unknown]

Did a couple good jokes in.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, well, I know I was thinking of them, but I didn't say anything. But I was utterly useless because I can't. I don't even recognize the concept of jacking up a car. I don't even understand how you would do it and what purpose it would have. But Ben also, you know, on the way out, when Clara went out, there was a certain amount of whiplash from one of the pieces of the sign. It hit Ben in the rear thigh. And I just thought, well, are you bleeding? No, no, I'm not bleeding. He said. He wrote. I wrote him a note thanking him, and he wrote me a note back saying, that's going to be some bruise, you know, because, I mean, it whacked him.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Tony Kornheiser]

You know, but that was my story for the day. And is there a lesson in it for me? No, no, of course not. My first thing, the only thing I could say to Clara was, are you a member of aaa? And she said, I don't know why. I said, well, if you or your family is a member of aaa, you call aaa. They get somebody here, they fix this. And she just looks at me. I go, it's because I can't fix anything. So I belong to companies, sure, that will help me in. In terrible situations, you know, but she was not a member of aaa. I didn't bother to ask her, dad, aaa.

[Unknown]

I mean, this is an unsolicited advert for them.

[Tony Kornheiser]

It's about $250 a year. It's worth it if you never use it. When you use it once.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Every five to 10 years, you're going to be stuck somewhere with a dead battery.

My car died this past winter on Mass Ave. Going down a hill in the cold and you know, the sun's going down. What am I going to do? And there's Triple A comes in within 45 minutes.

[Tony Kornheiser]

They know what they're doing.

[Unknown]

Yeah, very, very.

[Tony Kornheiser]

You know, you pay for it and it's worth it. It's like, what is the company I like the most? American Express. Because you can. Something happens, dispute a charge, they answer your call.

[Unknown]

Yeah, they're right.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Like, you know, that you don't wait. You're not waiting three days for a callback. They answer your call.

[Unknown]

I'm kind of surprised her car had enough weight to knock over one of those signs. Small, but I guess I picked up some speed.

[Tony Kornheiser]

It must have.

[Unknown]

The father's right. Like, they're very lucky that. That attached to that. Otherwise it would have been a runaway freight train.

[Tony Kornheiser]

A couple of cars parked on that side of the street. And if it continued on a straight path, that may have been one of those.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I mean, if it went wild, went left, or went crazy, who knows? I don't know. I don't know.

[Unknown]

And there's no fluid underneath. It didn't look like the. The stand of the sign punctured anything.

[Tony Kornheiser]

No, no. So, you know, that was my adventure for the evening. And again, when I was done, I mean, I. I was of no use.

[Unknown]

So this was your Gnats game last night?

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, well, there was no Nats game, so. Yeah, had there been a Nats game, I wouldn't even gone outside.

[Unknown]

Yeah, Been like, you guys are good.

Knock at the door if you need it.

So you've never used a, you know, had to change a flat tire or anything like that?

[Tony Kornheiser]

No, I've had to. I didn't. That's from the day I got a license. I joined. I called it aaa. Everyone else calls it Triple A. It's the American Automobile association, and it's like the National Basketball association. And it's much better for me than the National Basketball association because the last time I looked, if I got a flat, I don't think LeBron was coming over to fix it. No, Triple A is coming.

[Unknown]

Silver not going to Triple A, is coming over.

[Tony Kornheiser]

So that was really good. I understand it's your birthday today.

[Unknown]

Oh, yes, that's right.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yes. Do you have anything planned? Anything special plan? You know, Michael's birthday is next week.

[Unknown]

That's right, yes.

Getting ready to call you.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Also.

[Unknown]

Also Greg Garcia's birthday today.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Oh, you bought it same day as. Yes. Not the same year.

[Unknown]

No, not the same year. I think. But maybe a couple years apart. No, I will probably do what I normally do on the weekends and go for some absurdly long like 12 to 15 mile hike if I. If the weather cooperates.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Well, that's here. You got to. Yeah, it's a weather situation. It's supposed to rain around here a lot in the next four or five days.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Thereby ruining all plans. I would have to play golf because, you know, I don't want. I can't walk. I can't walk 18 anymore. I'm just.

[Unknown]

But helping me level out spots in.

[Tony Kornheiser]

The yard, I could do that. And by helping, I could stand there and say, that looks good. Yeah, doing a good job on that.

[Unknown]

Should we all go to the Palm tonight? Have some steaks?

[Tony Kornheiser]

No.

[Unknown]

No.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Not going to the bomb tonight. No, I'm going to sleep. Going to sleep. This is all I live to do, is to go to sleep. All right, so that's it. That's my open. We will have Jay Bilis when we return.

[Unknown]

Actually, change of plans. We're gonna Barry's Verluga next.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Barry's Verluga is next. Not Jay Bilis. Yes, Jay's later in the show.

[Unknown]

Ring the bell.

[Jay Bilas]

Show.

[Unknown]

Okay.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Okay. Barry's Verluga when we return. Who's on OV watch? I assume I'm Tony Kornheiser.

[Barry Zverluga]

This is a message from sponsor Intuit. TurboTax Taxes was getting frustrated by your forms. Now Taxes is uploading your forms with a Snap and a TurboTax expert will do your taxes for you. One who's backed by the latest tech which cross checks millions of data points for absolute accuracy. All of which makes it easy for you to get the most money back, guaranteed. Get an expert [e-mail], only available with TurboTax Live full service. Seek guaranteed [e-mail] guarantees this is the Tony Kornheiser Show.

[Tony Kornheiser]

This is a group called Bright Arcana. This is sent to us by Paul Grant, who says it's a group I've had the pleasure of lightly contributing to over the past couple of years. Brett Arkenna is the work of John Hardin, a Madison, Wisconsin based singer songwriter who doesn't know who you are, but gives his permission for me to send these tracks to you anyway. I played keyboard on Bright Arcana's most recent album, to the Terrible Blood. It's available now on all streaming services and will be joining him for a show at the Bur Oak Bur Oak in Madison, Wisconsin tomorrow night, April 5th at 8:00pm and this is a song called Strangers Again. Bright Arcana plays in Barry's Verloc. We wanted to talk to Barry because Barry is in that rare position as a columnist now where he knows what his next few days are going to be because he's on the Alex Ovechkin watch. And we will get to that in a second. But I can't have you on without dealing with Kevin Willard. What do you think first of the Buzz Williams hire? And. And what do you think of my position? That I honestly think the chancellor of Maryland should have fired Kevin Willard before it got to this point. But take them both, any order you want.

[Unknown]

I think that's the Bo Schembechler I want a Michigan man coaching Michigan back in the day with, with Bill Frieder and Steve Fisher. I mean, I think that's a reasonable take. I also think that the situation was muddied because the athletic director left for SMU of all places, where oil money will, you know, fund nil for days and days and days. But, you know, it's just a Buzz Williams is probably a mild upgrade over Kevin Willard. It doesn't feel like a permanent solution that gets Maryland basketball back to, to the position that Gary Williams had built it into. He's never stayed anywhere longer than six years. Does he think that Maryland is a destination where he's going to finish his career? I don't know that it feels that way. And Tony, I would just say this, that my overarching feeling about all this as Willard kind of dumped on the program while he still hold held the job and said he needed fundamental changes, is that whether this is agreeing with him or not, that Maryland lost its way a long time ago in chasing football and football money and are they better off in the Big Ten than they would have been in the ACC because they get $60 million a year in Big Ten money? Sure, probably. But they've chased being good at football in a 50,000 seat stadium when their competitors are 100,000 eight times eight Saturdays a fall. And they've just been terrible at football and they, they lost their way because they're a basketball school and they need whoever is the athletic director next to realize what their DNA is. And it's. It's men's and women's basketball.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I don't disagree with a word of that. So I'm going to get off it now and get to Alexander Ovechkin. He's chasing or he's going to get it. He's three back. Three. Three to two to tie, three to Break the goal scoring record of Wayne Gretzky, which I think if you'd said this 25 years ago, unthinkable, unthinkable that somebody would get. This is Babe ruth, this is 714. But as we've seen, Henry Aaron got to 715 and others, Barry Bonds got further than that. So we've seen that happen. But this is certainly the biggest local story. Hockey is hockey. It's not baseball, it's not football, it's not basketball. This is not going to be. Other than the day he breaks it, ties it and breaks it, it's not going to be the biggest story in the country, but it is the biggest story in hockey. And hockey is a big deal in the cities where hockey is played in the NHL. So what does Ovechkin watch mean? What are your plans? You know, how long do you go?

[Unknown]

So we had always planned that when he was within three to tie and four to break, that that's when I would join the chase. And so, you know, your life is kind of put on pause while you watch that he, he scored that goal that got him within that on Tuesday night in Boston. I'm sitting on the couch at home watching and immediately booking a flight to Raleigh for the game the next night. They got killed. He did score. It made the trip totally worth it. And obviously, like, I've got themes of columns to write the nights that he, you know, whether he scores tonight against Chicago at home or not, like, I've got something to write about him in the bag. My, you know, personal situation is kind of messed up because they play a 12:30 game on long island against the Islanders on, on Sunday. I have a flight from D.C. to Augusta on Monday morning. Yeah. So I have for months, Tony, been like, look, man, don't mess up my Masters. Get it done before or get really cold and do it after. But let's leave that week alone. And it doesn't look like that week will be left alone. They very, very probable that, you know, they play, as I said, tonight at home against Chicago, Sunday in New York against the Islanders, and then they don't play until Thursday at home against Carolina. That actually would be in my world and I think a lot of worlds. Maybe the best case scenario that he do it at home on that Thursday one for me, I'd fly home that morning, cover the game. He does it. Great, great story. And then I'd be back in Augusta for the second round on, on Friday. But also, I think this fan base really kind of deserves this moment at Home. They only have three home games the rest of the way. And they, if you think about his great moments and their great moments, obviously their Stanley crowning achievement was the 2018 Stanley Cup. Every single clinching game in the four series they won was on the road. His 800th goal was on the road. He passed how on the road? Like, I would love for this fan base to get to celebrate this moment with him at home.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, that makes sense. I didn't realize all of those things were on the road. What do you think of what the NHL is doing? That Gretzky is going to be at every game? That Bettman is going to be at every game? That they're going to nationally televise? Every game?

[Unknown]

Yeah. No, I think they need to seize this moment. I mean, you started off by saying hockey is hockey, and hockey's job is to make sure that they are delivering this historic moment to as many people as possible. And you're totally correct. And I would never argue that hockey is something other than a niche sport in the United States of America. But the name Wayne Gretzky transcends.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yes.

[Unknown]

I don't think Alex Ovechkin does, but Wayne Gretzky does. And so if you walk down the street and said to somebody, you know, Wayne Gretzky scored more goals than anybody and there's a guy in Washington that's going to beat him like that perks the ears up and gets people's, no, it's Babe Ruth.

[Tony Kornheiser]

He's Babe Ruth. And Babe Ruth's bigger than Henry Aaron and bigger than, you know, Bobby Bonds and Barry Bonds. No, he's Babe Ruth. There's no. No question.

[Unknown]

Well, and Wayne Gretzky will always be bigger than Alex Ovechkin. Yes. And that's not taking anything away from anybody. But here's. This is one of my favorite stats. And I have a Gretzky story that I'm going to write. And it's a reason that I don't want OV to break the record tonight, because I've got stuff in the hopper that needs to run. But if you take Wayne Gretzky's 894 goals away from his point total and just leave him with all his assists.

[Tony Kornheiser]

He'S still second or third, still be.

[Unknown]

The all time career leader in point.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah. And this is why, like when Wilbond says to me, I don't, you know, don't tell me that Ovechkin is as good as Gretchen. I said, nobody's telling you that. Nobody's telling you that Alexander Ovechkin's career assist total is somewhere in the 50s in terms of the all time numbers. And this guy, this guy's assist, Gretzky's the greatest player of all time. There's no question about that. Can I tell you what disappoints me?

[Unknown]

What's that?

[Tony Kornheiser]

That Ben and Otti and Lachlan are going to be shut out of 4, 3, at least 3 of these next 7 games of doing a live broadcast. And I believe the NHL should ensure that they can do a live broad. It only goes to the Washington D.C. area. And the people here who have watched these guys for 25 years and know they've called virtually every goal of Etchkin ever had, they should have the privilege and the comfort of having Ben and Otti and Lachlan call that game. I don't get this.

[Unknown]

So you're 100% right. And for the people who don't know who Joe, Ben and Craig Laughlin are like, they are the forever play by play and color team on tv. Pick a network because they've been on four or five networks over the time. But it's always been Joby and Locker. And I can tell you, going back to the fall, you know, being at practice talking with Joby, who I've known forever, like he was already like, my God, late in the year there's a bunch of national broadcasts and he was worried. Now I will say, Tony, that one the NHL has, and I don't have this exactly right, but they have allowed Monumental Sports to broadcast one or more of the nationally broadcast games concurrently. The other thing that they are doing is they are going to have Joby and Locker call these games.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah. For archival purposes, like you, you can't see them until 24 hours after the game.

[Unknown]

Right. And that's too bad. But at least he won't be sitting there with his lip button. He will have all of that goal. And that matters because you're going to watch that. You know, these fans are going to watch that goal over and over and you want that voice on that call. And I remember, I think it was the 800th goal was in Chicago against the Blackhawks on ESPN and it was Steve Levy and Chris Chelios and somebody else, another ex player. And they essentially talked over the moment like they blew the moment. These guys have been building toward this moment for the 20 years of Ovechkin's career. They deserve that call. The fans deserve that call. They're not going to blow that call. They're going to nail that call. So I agree with you 100%.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Meanwhile, capitals are losing and the only reasonable conclusion I'm asking it though I've drawn it is the pressure of making sure he gets this, this year is affecting this team. Right or wrong?

[Unknown]

No, I think it's wrong and I get that. I think that they are, they have been amazingly resilient. I mean they've lost three of four and they had a real clunker the other night on the second half of a back to back in Carolina where they lost five to one. That's essentially the only time they've been blown out this year. I see it, Tony, and may maybe I'm being naive as, as kind of something that happens to every team that goes through an 82 game schedule like they've got to get right before the playoffs. But this is the, this is the lull that to this point they've been impervious to. So the record now I feel like the record really didn't become a real thing, a night to night shift, to shift thing until he scored in Boston and then he scores the other night. And this crowd tonight on Friday night in downtown Washington D.C. is going to be the first home crowd that walks into the building and says, well, if he gets a couple and they're up and he goes, yeah, he can do it tonight. He could do it tonight. This is the first time it's really been a controlling kind of. It's always been the primary storyline, but it's never been attainable in the next 24 hours. Today is that day.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Has he been good about it? Has he been chatty about it? Has he, has he been available a lot?

[Unknown]

He is not chatty. I mean, I've dealt with him for 20 years and I can't say that we have like a really great relationship. I'm talking to him today and sitting down with him. I do not expect it to be particularly deep. He is available, he does what he's supposed to do. He, he's not really going to have conversations, not just about Gretzky, but really about anything. He is very much a superstar. That's not to say he's elitist or standoffish. He just kind of does what he has to do and not a lot more than that.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Okay, that's good to know. Look, I hope it works out for you in Augusta. I hope that the, the, the plan that you have, the hope that you have works out completely because I know what this is like. I know what it's like where you're on something and you have to be on it and you want to do something else as well. I know I've been through.

[Unknown]

Well, if I can have both of them, a nice masters and OVI break the record Thursday night at home. I'll be smiling ear to ear for a month.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Good, good, good. Thank you, Barry. Good luck with all of it.

[Unknown]

Appreciate it, Tony. Thanks very much.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Barry's Verluga, boys and girls. We will take a break. Jay Billis will join us when we come back. I'm Tony Kornheiser.

[Unknown]

This is the Tony Kornheiser show.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Once again, this is Bright Arcana, a band from Wisconsin who is playing tomorrow night at the Burr Oak in Madison, Wisconsin, starting at 8pm Very lovely. Bright Arcana. This is called White Oleander. Isn't that, that's, is that a flower, White Oleander?

[Unknown]

I think it might be.

[Tony Kornheiser]

No, his name was some sort of perfume. I mean, it sounds like it could be perfume as well. I have no idea. Anyway, Michael, if people like Bright Arcana want to send in their original music, how do they do it?

[Unknown]

Send us your music by emailing it to jinglesonycornizershow.com they play in J. Billis.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I gave you a shout out the other day on ptr. You had all the four number one seeds getting in. You had the SEC as the best conference in the country really early on. They got seven of the last 16. They got four of the last eight. You must feel pretty good about that, right? I mean, you got it right.

[Jay Bilas]

Well, yes and no. I mean, I'm not a fan of the way we do things now where you're picking games. That was never our job before because if I, honestly, Tony, if I knew who was going to win these games, I wouldn't be doing this. I'd be in Las Vegas.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Jay Bilas]

With, you know, sitting by the pool with a drink in my hand. And you may remember this better than I do, but I don't remember when this became a thing. You know, when our picking games and I mentioned this to a friend of mine the other day, like, you know, I like football like most people, and I'm sitting waiting for the super bowl and watching all the experts make picks. And these guys know the game. They all played it and all that. And, you know, more than half of them pick Kansas City.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Jay Bilas]

And they got drilled like nobody knows who's going to win these games. We can, we can tell you, here's what the game's going to turn on or here's what they'll watch for here's why this guy's good, but I'm not sure why. I think it's because we get the fans riled up by, by picking games and, and certainly because of gamble.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I think it's gambling. I think it's gambling. I mean, I think espn, you know, has its own gambling arm, ESPN Bet. They have shows about this. All of these, all of the large major professional sports have partners with gambling. Gambling has really become a very important part of, of sports. It used to be everybody did it, but they did it under the table. And now it's. There's a bright shining light on it. I remember when the tournament started, I think I'm correct about this. The ESPN website, didn't it have you pick every single game in the tournament because they advertise that?

[Jay Bilas]

Yeah, that's been going on for a while now. And you know, some years I do really well, other years I don't and. But, you know, that's sort of the nature of the tournament. But, you know, this year it's amazing how kind of facile interpretation comes into basketball so easily. So two years ago, San Diego State and Florida Atlantic make the final Four. And the quick narrative was that, well, nil and the transfer portal have flattened the earth. Now everybody's the same and the big shots are not going to dominate anymore. And then this year that we didn't have the upsets we expected and there were no mid majors in the sweet 16. And now it's nil and the transfer portal have ruined the mid majors. They're never going to win again. And this is the end of basketball as we know it. And I'm like, one data point doesn't make a trend. It's just one year. Like next year we may have a bunch of upsets. Like, relax, it's not that big of a deal. But that's not the way the public tends to go about this.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yes, I was going to ask you if the Cinderella myth is done now, you know, because so many people seem to be saying that and writing that. And like you, I said, what just happened this year? Last year something else happened. It's a little quick on that, but do you buy into it at all?

[Jay Bilas]

No, I don't. Just simple principles of economics suggest that that money is going to spread talent out more, not concentrate it more. And so, you know, like, here's an example. So the Sweet 16 this year, people freaked out a little bit because the entire Sweet 16 came from four major conferences, conferences.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jay Bilas]

Seven from the bed. The SEC four each from the Big 10 of the Big 12, and then one from the ACC being Duke. So, you know, but. But one of the things I was trying to point out was two years ago, as little as two years ago, Houston was in the American Conference considered a mid major, BYU was in the West Coast Conference considered a mid major, and Arizona was in the PAC 12. So two years ago, if we had the exact same sweet 16, but it was from seven conferences, would that have made people feel any better? It's the same teams in the same schools. You know, the schools haven't jumped up in their status. They're just in a different conference. And Houston's always been this good under Kelvin Sampson. It's not some, you know, shocking development that they went into the Big 12 and they did well. It's just we have these, you know, perceptions about smaller leagues that they're, you know, some of their teams aren't as good. That's why Gonzaga gets kind of criticized and you're going, wait a minute. They say, well, they're in the West Coast Conference, so of course they won a lot of games. But wait a minute, they've been to nine straight sweet sixteens. Like how they doing that when they get into the pool with everybody else? And you know, a lot of these things don't make sense. They're just kind of perceptual issues.

[Tony Kornheiser]

There is a lot of talk about money and the effect of nil money in football, in basketball, primarily. Ralph Willard. Ralph Willard. Kevin Willard could call him Ralph Willard. Kevin Willard just left Maryland and I thought me personally hung Maryland out to try in a terrible way. But he left because he wanted to go to a school where all the money goes to basketball, Villanova, whatever football program they may have. It's not consequential. No football program in the Big east is consequential. And he did that. He left. My rejoinder to that is, well, you know, look at the. The SEC is a football conference, regardless how good they are in basketball, they're a football conference. And here are Bruce Pearl and Todd Golden. I think that's his. His first name. They're in the. They're in the Final Four, you know, and most of their money in that school is going to football players. So I don't, like. I'm not certain. I don't have. I don't have my feet on solid ground when I look at the money. Do you?

[Jay Bilas]

Well, I do a little bit. I mean, there's going to be with this house settlement coming up, that big antitrust case is settling and it's got to be approved by the court. Once it's approved, there's going to be revenue sharing among the institutions. So not among the institutions, but the institutions can share with their players. Football is going to take the lion's share of that money. I think everybody understands that. But what will happen then, and I think this is a near certainty, is the schools will start signing their players to contracts and the contracts love buyouts in them. And if say that you mentioned, Kevin, will it say Villanova takes a Maryland player and pays the buyout? That buyout number will count against Villanova's cap, if that makes sense. So, you know, it'll bring a little more certainty to the player side. But your point about the overall money, like, you know, I love Kevin Willard. He's a great guy. I have no problem with him leaving one school for another. I agree with you. He didn't do it in the best possible manner. But you know, when, when the talk is about, well, you know, it's a football thing. Maryland's got football and he was at Seton hall. They didn't have football and it was all basketball. He left there to go to Maryland.

[Tony Kornheiser]

That's right.

[Jay Bilas]

And it wasn't like the tea leaves weren't, you know, you couldn't read the tea leave. As to where this thing was going, my biggest problem with the way that coaches and administrators and the public handle a thing like the Kevin Willard situation, which has been going on for decades. This is not a new thing. Coaches negotiating while their teams are still playing. You know, they're doing it months in advance. It's not just a few days is when a player transfers, then there's no loyalty and no commitment. The guy didn't want to go through adversity. Like, what about the loyalty and commitment of coaches?

[Tony Kornheiser]

Sure.

[Jay Bilas]

They're under contract.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Sure.

[Jay Bilas]

And, and in their, and then these schools talk about, you know, all their ethical high mindedness and then these university presidents are taking each other's employees like crazy when they're under contract. And you know, until they stop doing that, like that's a contradiction to the point of hypocrisy for me. And I just don't listen to it. Like, I'm fine with complaining about players. You know, I don't like the transfer portal either. But, but it's a, it's part of the business now until. Because they're students to be treated like any other student according to ncaa and no other students told they can't transfer if they're under contract. That's a different deal.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yes.

[Jay Bilas]

Then you have, that precludes, that precludes.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Your normal student stuff. If you're under, if you're an employee, you're an employee. It's different. I assume when you say that there's a buyout, I assume there's an opt out as well, that the players will retain the right to opt out.

[Jay Bilas]

Well, they could if they negotiate that. Yeah. I don't know exactly. When you say opt out, you mean they can quit?

[Tony Kornheiser]

They can, they can go to, they can transfer whenever they want. That. That's the way I would look at an opt out.

[Jay Bilas]

Well, yeah, if they, if they could negotiate that. But if you had an opt out clause, they probably want to pay you less. So you'd be sacrificing some money for the chance to go whenever you feel like it. You know, nobody can make you stay in a job or in a, at a school, but, but you can be precluded. You know, it can cost you some money to get out of it. So if you, if you were to opt out and they had a buyout, you know, that you, then you could owe them some money. And to me, that's the, that's the smart way to go about it because then everybody's got some skin in the game and they're more likely to, more likely to stick around.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Everybody's a pro at that point. Everybody's.

[Jay Bilas]

Well, they're pro. They're pros. Now my argument, Tony, would be, I was a pro when I played that because the enterprise made so much money. Just because they restricted me in my earning, my earning power didn't mean I wasn't a pro. Like, this is, these, this has been pro sports for a long time. Like amateur sports don't make billions of dollars and pay their coaches millions. You know, and I'll get the snarky responses. People go, what do you want? You want the Little League World Series to pay the players? I said no. But the Little League World Series, if they were making billions of dollars off that and they were televising games all year long and the coaches weren't somebody's dad that's an insurance salesman that's given his time to this. But they were professional coaches being paid millions. Yeah. Then I think the parents of those players would go, hey, how about a little something for the effort here? Like, this is ridiculous. They'd want something. And you know, the NCAA thought all these years the players were never going to assert their rights. Of course they were.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Speaking of when you played, are you rooting for Duke at all. You can tell me, are you rooting even a little for Duke?

[Jay Bilas]

No. I mean, I know I like, I am. Like, I have so many of these. So many of these coaches are close friends of mine. Like, Bruce Pearl is a. Is a very good friend. I will be thrilled. And Kelvin Sampson, I've known forever. Those guys are close friends. If I will be happy for any one of them and would certainly be happy for John. Like, I went to Duke, of course I love being there and love the place and love Coach K and all is still due, all that stuff. But this is competition. Like. Like there's a fairness thing that goes into this. And so I'm not, you know, I'm not jonesing for one team over another. I've been doing this too long. I mean, I watch. I probably call 60 games a year and watch hundreds of them. I mean, I go crazy if I care to one.

[Tony Kornheiser]

So I'll just ask you about the first round of the Final Four. Do you like Duke over Houston or. No? Houston is the best defensive team in the country statistically, and they seem to win all the time. Duke is so hot. Looks so good lately. How do you look at that game?

[Jay Bilas]

Duke is more talented, so they're the more talented roster. And I agree with you. They're playing better right now. They're playing better than anyone. At the beginning of the tournament, I thought Houston would be in the final against Florida. I thought those two teams were the strongest. But I think it's a coin flip. The one thing, Tony, like, Houston's lost, what, four games, three of them in overtime, and the losses were really early. You know, they lost to, like, Alabama and Auburn really early in the season, and they're way better now than they were then. They're unbelievably physical, and they're men. Like, they're big, strong men. And Duke hadn't been in a close game in a long time. And Houston lives in those. That's one of the reasons, I think that that's the only reason I think Duke can get beat in this is if it's a close game in the end, it. It favors Houston because that's where they live and Duke has not had to execute in those pressure situations. And who knows what will happen, you know, on the final four stage. But. But Duke with Duke's length is going to cause Houston a lot of problems. Their guards are bigger and longer and. And I think it's going to be a little bit more difficult for Houston to get the shots that they're normally used to getting when they're, they're playing against that kind of length in the backcourt.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Of the four teams in the Final Four, I think Florida is the only one that you could legitimately say has had scares. You know, Florida like you, I look at Florida and I go, wow, they can score 100 any single night. But they've also been in closer games than Auburn, then Houston, then Duke, I think. Do you still like Florida over Auburn?

[Jay Bilas]

I do, but, but there are a couple things. Like there's a, there's an edge that, that I try to factor in a little bit. So the last time Duke and Houston played Duke, one, it was in the tournament last year. And if you recall, Houston's best player got hurt the first half, didn't play in the second half and they lost by two points. I do think having lost last year to them gives them a little bit of edge in their preparation. I don't think it helps once the game starts, but I think it helps in sharpening their prep. And similarly, Auburn lost to, to Florida at home earlier this year, the only time they played. And Florida was shorthanded. They didn't have their second leading scorer, Elijah Martin. He didn't play in that game. It's still. Florida won it. I think Auburn's dangerous in this game. I think Florida is probably a little bit better because they're deeper. But you know, that game, I think that's another is the first time in a long time I've gone to a Final Four semifinal pairing and thought, man, both these games are coin flips. I really kind of feel that way. And, and part of that makes it, you know, that makes it actually a little more interesting and fun. You know, when we were going to the Final Four last year and gone look, there's no way that Alabama's beaten UConn and there's no way NC State's beaten Purdue. Like those two teams are in the final. It's not as interesting. Obviously something crazy can happen. You know that you never discount that. But you know, after doing this for a while you kind of, you can look at these teams going, all right, this seems better and they should win. And I don't feel that way in, in these games. Like they're, I think Florida and Duke, if these were NBA seven game series, I happen to think those two teams win their matchups. But it's a one game deal, so, you know, all bets are off.

[Tony Kornheiser]

All right, thank you. We'll see you on PTI this afternoon. Right. You're going to Be on.

[Jay Bilas]

Yeah, looking forward to it.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Wonderful. Thanks for this. Thank you, Jay. Talk to you later. Bye.

[Jay Bilas]

Thank you.

[Unknown]

Bye.

[Jay Bilas]

Bye.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Jay Billis, who's simply great. I mean he's simply great. We will take a break. We will come back with email and jingle. I'm Tony Kornheiser. You're listening to the Tony Kornheiser Show.

[Unknown]

Here comes Tony's mailbag. Got your emails, faxes in your notes. Here comes Tony's mail back. Gonna read some for all of you folks.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Thank you. Tim Wildsmith always like listening to that.

[Unknown]

Yeah, it's a lovely version.

[Tony Kornheiser]

You want to do the Bethesda bagel ad?

[Unknown]

Yes, Bethesda bagels, we love them. You will as well just go to BethesdaBaggles.com for the location in the DC area nearest you. Then pop on in and you'll be thrilled.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Before we get to the mailbag, let me just say I buy you a diamond ring my friend if it makes you feel all right. I'll get you anything, my friend if it makes you feel all right Cuz I don't care too much for money Money can't buy me. Look, four lads from Liverpool as they like to.

[Unknown]

Pretty good day for them in 1964.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, pretty good. Thanks to our guest today, Jay Billis, Barry's Verluga. Thanks as well to today's sponsors. Remember, you can listen to us on Apple podcasts, Spotify, Odyssey. Get the show through Apple. Please leave us a review.

[Unknown]

Are those lyrics a tease for a new movie that's coming out in a couple years?

[Tony Kornheiser]

It's four different movies.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Very excited for that.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Four different.

[Unknown]

Nervous at the same time.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, yeah, I would be nervous.

[Unknown]

Reminder, we have a final coverage on NBC from 12 to 3 for the Augusta National Women's Amateur tomorrow Saturday.

[Tony Kornheiser]

We've watched that the last couple of years.

[Unknown]

You have the potential for a back to back winner.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Oh, excited, right? Yeah.

[Unknown]

Lottie Woad.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Oh, wow.

[Unknown]

That'd be very cool.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Was she the English girl? I think. I think she's the English girl. You don't know? I could be wrong. A haiku from Shad for turtles.

[Unknown]

English amateur golfer.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yes, yes, I remember from last year.

[Unknown]

Oh, and white oleander is. I think you said it's a shrub, but it's poisonous, so don't eat it.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Okay.

[Unknown]

Make sure and make sure Chessy doesn't eat it.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Is that a turtle in your pants or are you just happy to see me? From Wynn Mossman, our lawyer friend in Moscow, Idaho. Happy birthday to Nigel and Greg Garcia. He says Greg Garcia friend. Greg Garcia's friend vowing to swallow my turtle rather than endure the humiliation of being escorted off a plane sounded like gangster slang for refusing to rat out a co conspirator. Also, here's hoping that Dan Byrne can come up with enough words which rhyme with turtle to turn that phrase into a song. Please tell my cousin Dan Stellman to eat it. From Charles Bender in Columbia, Missouri. Flush the turtle. Do we have another one? This is from John Mossman, who I assume is related to Wayne Mossman. One would think because he's in Idaho Falls, Idaho. I work at the Idaho National Laboratory. Unless everybody in Idaho is named, I work at the Idaho National Laboratory, the nation's premier nuclear research facility, managing contracts for nuclear science and technology. One of the primary goals of the lab is to secure our nation's clean energy future through cutting edge research and technology. And I'm sitting here at my desk listening to deer poop diet. That's it. That's the image. That's what we do. From mark Mackey in McCall, Idaho. Boy, we are loaded with Idaho's big out there. Damn you, Dan Byrne. After over a year, I finally get the Victor Wembanyama song out of my head. And now, day and night, it's the deer poop diet. Chris Killen getting ready for another road trip up the California coast. And as I was researching great places to eat in Cayucos, a beautiful central California central coast town, I come across a joint called the Sea Shanty. Check out their website and boom. Look who's front and center kind of on the homepage. You better believe I'll be stopping there. Oh, they have a picture of me.

[Unknown]

Yeah, it's like a tv. The TV is on and they took this photo and you're there on pti. Wow, the Sea Shanty. But as a sea captain, that. That makes sense, right?

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah. As also in the shrimp shack shooters, I'm sure.

[Unknown]

Here's the thing, they're gonna be there.

[Tony Kornheiser]

From Ryan, old sheriff, who's a doctor and he's ltc. So he's a lieutenant colonel, Is that what that is?

[Unknown]

I think so.

[Tony Kornheiser]

And he's a doctor and he's in Augusta. I was given the fortunate opportunity to attend the second round of 2024 Masters. I chose to follow the Rory Scotty pairing that day before settling into my Chair on number 16. As the group made their way to the green on number 14, a 440 yard par 4, I walked up the left side of the fairway and stopped at the ropes about 30 yards short of the green, Scottie Scheffler hit his approach shot a few yards long and left of the green. I was standing behind a gentleman who was watching closely and he said to me as Scotty went through his routine, maybe Scotty will chip this in and we can all go nuts. Scotty came up short and made his par. The gentleman turned around and said to me, do you have kids? Don't let him play golf. As we both started to make our way over to the 15th, I looked at the badge he was wearing. It was a credential that had his picture and said, scott Scheffler. I guess even when your kid is the number one golfer in the world and on his way to a second green jacket that weekend, you cannot simply enjoy watching him play without all the inner anxiety over every stroke. Thought you might be able to relate to Mr. Scheffler in your days of watching Michael play. Absolutely still angling to be the official army oncologist the Tony Kornheiser show who hopes never to be needed. You got it. You got it. That's really great. Galen Williams, Esq. Maybe a lawyer. Galen Williams here from Los Angeles via New Jersey and most pertinently, Loyola College in Maryland. Class of 09 Go Hounds I was listening to your Monday episode describing Gary Williams birthday shindig and while wondering whether the crab dip met the level I'd expect from a classy DMV function, my ears perked up at the mention of Jimmy Patsos name. Could this be a David Aldrich moment? My freshman year at Loyola was Jimmy's second year as head coach. Hounds. I remember the incredible amount of excitement on campus in the fall of 2005 as the basketball season kicked off. Now you must realize that Loyola is primarily lacrosse and soccer school. The basketball team was an embarrassment before Jimmy arrived and has pretty much returned to that state since his departure. However, during his years as head coach they were the talk of that school. Jimmy's passion and sideline antics were notorious throughout campus. He's the only basketball coach I've ever seen sweat through a suit before tip off. I especially recall his novel approach to guarding a future top 75 NBA player, Steph Curry, double teaming him the entire game in his boasting that no other team in the country had held Steph Curry scoreless. Although the rest of the country likely saw Jimmy's approach as clown behavior, the student body was happy as a pig in slope. More important than the antics and the flop sweat, Jimmy made our school and our team relevant. He recruited local kids to play for their hometown Baltimore school. He took us to being competitive in the Mac, no longer being the doormat as ever. Thank you for sharing your life story and jogging fond memories for this millennial fan of yours. Yeah, they lost that game. They lost that game. Marianne Flatt, Montclair, New Jersey Thank God you have Michael to assist you in your dotage. On Wednesday's podcast, I reminded you to please read the information on the packaging of the gifts sent to you. Like the bezel, bezel, bezel. Like the Bezel wine. You received the cans of the white wine chips that I have sent. Proposed pairings. There is a note entitled from our Somali Egg. This gives you the suggested wines that would pair with the particular chip with the Bezel wine. Please use the blue cheese or the fruity Red the Smoked Gouda wine Chips in a future podcast. We all eagerly await your review. Marianne Flatt, Montclair, Jersey I have loved these chips. The only thing I've said about them is there aren't as many in each little tin as I thought, but they're really good. We gave Greg.

[Unknown]

That's right. Yeah, he was very excited about that.

[Tony Kornheiser]

From Dan Ziegler in Stevensville, Michigan to Patrick Sitter of Sioux Falls, South Dakota My niece is getting married in Beresford, B E R E S F o R D South Dakota in early May. Beresford has a population of 2100 people, and the accommodations available are few and far between, so I will be staying 36 miles to the north in Sioux Falls. Could you please tell me if I, 29, is under construction between Beresford and Sioux Falls? I want to make sure I'm not late. I lived in South Dakota my first 17 years before going into the Marines, and I remember we used to joke all the time that South Dakota has two seasons winter and road construction. That's funny. On another note, it would be great to drive 80 miles an hour legally from Patrick Sitter himself. If potato chips and wine or deer poop diet wins a Grammy, could I get a shout out on PTI from Gary Van Gleason? Tony, did you learn Nothing from John Jr. Feinstein? Not only should you have been up first up for the crab cakes, but you should have made multiple trips and brought a few home in your pockets for Chessy, a pretty big upgrade over deer poop. Very disappointed that you flushed the mouse on this one. What is she? She ran upstairs.

[Unknown]

She ran up. Oh, worked up about something? Not sure.

[Tony Kornheiser]

From Jeff In Salinas, California, 100 miles north of Paso. Robles you'll be elated to know The Paso Robles, California was founded in 1889 and named for the vulnerable Nats legend Victor Robles. No, it was not. No it was not. From John Donnelly Offensive in County Meath in Ireland. I'm a big fan of your podcast and pti. I'm sitting here listening to your interview with the wonderful Greg Garcia. Please pass on good wishes to Greg and Nate for their upcoming European tour and wish them the very best of luck. We will be attending the show and Vicar Street, Dublin. Also, good wishes to you and your team and a big thanks for the many years of journalism and entertainment. It's very nice From Jared Murray, who's an actor, writer and video editor. I'm sure someone has already emailed you about this, but all 22 episodes of Listen up are currently on YouTube for free if you want to watch or not. I'll give it a watch after I finish my TJ Hooker rewatch.

[Unknown]

I'll have the kids watch this.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I'm not watching. Although I do think that a great writer could make it Good.

[Unknown]

It's definitely eligible for a reboot.

Yeah, Greg is not offered. I think we should take that for.

[Tony Kornheiser]

David Bradley in Sterling, Virginia on the topic of purposely setting clocks to the wrong time, the woman to whom I'm related by marriage has always set all of her clocks ahead by two minutes to help her arrive at appointments on time. We've known each other since 1978. She's been on time to several appointments since then. On a related topic, a million years ago I worked at Kent Mill Records in Vienna, Virginia. The lowest paying but coolest job I ever had. One morning I came into the store to find that my manager had been fired and two guys from corporate who I'd never seen before were there in her place. Are you always this late? One of them asked me. I'm five minutes early, I said. Five minutes early is 10 minutes late, he said. I quit on the spot. Good for you, David Bradley. If you're out on your bike tonight, everyone, as always, do wear white. We're not gonna be sucked this year. We're not the ste Go champions.

[Unknown]

Yes, you are a stranger. Might you be a wildflower Might you be the muted S or homic captured in a you are a stranger.

[Tony Kornheiser]

The.

[Unknown]

Careless sleeping on the floor Go and weaving matador satisfied or bound to pine for more and I will remember you until the gourd is loose I will remember you as a raven on my window sill I will remember you as a weaver's Hand laid upon wonder I will remember you Though we remain strangers still I am a stranger Perhaps a devil in the doorway the viper that lay coil in a shadow veil Or a snare to trap the serpent's tail I will remember you myself Court is loot. I will remember, Remember you as a raven on my window sill I will remember you as weavers and laid upon the lo I will remember you Though we remain stranger still Though we remain stranger still Though we remain stranger still I remember we remain stranger still.

[Barry Zverluga]

Sa.

[Unknown]

A summon thundercloud Forgotten man then struck again. We'll carry the corpse around. What is it then? The barricade between us? Don't the scales always balance with the same light? Passing through a prison Blessed vessels, don't you recognize them? Martyrs now looking on as the old gods fell everlasting now hallowed as white oleander Poison as well those bells.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Ring.

[Unknown]

Down the mountain like hope coming in his light through holes in a buckshot floor With a broken wing the holy dove Saints the dirges of saints sleep and strangers come breaking down the door. Blessed vessels, don't you recognize them? Martyrs now looking on as the old gods fell everlasting now a hollow grove of oaks as white oleander poisons well Swing inside the coat the knife the snake won't die until the sun goes down. Bang. The drums diadems are sprouting from the bricks of the citadel to overgrow the rotten roots the blossoms smothered under boots Melt those irons into crowns blaster and wax the death mask shaped in the crucible of that wicked world. Blessed vessels, don't you recognize them? Martyrs now looking on as the old gods fell everlasting Now a hollow gold of oaks is right Oleander poisons well as ride. Oleander wasn't sa.