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Tony Kornheiser
Hey, it's Tony. On today's show, we'll talk with Michael Wilbon about the rather barren summer sports calendar. We'll talk with Dave Sims about getting to call games. First with Cal Rawley and now with Aaron Judge. But first, commerce. Thanks for selling your car to Carvana. Here's your check.
Michael Wilbon
Whoa.
Chris Cullen
When did I get here?
Tony Kornheiser
What do you mean? I swear it was just moments ago that I accepted a great offer from Carvana online. I must have time traveled to the future. It was just moments ago. We do same day pickup. Here's your check for that great offer. It is the future. It's. It's the present and just the convenience of Carvana. Sorry to blow your mind.
Chris Cullen
It's all good.
Nigel
Happens all the time.
Tony Kornheiser
Sell your car the convenient way to Carvana. Pick up. Times may vary and fees may apply. Now more than ever. Lowes knows you don't just want a low price, you want the lowest price. And with our lowest price guarantee, you can count on us for competitive prices on all your home improvement projects. If you find a qualifying lower price somewhere else on the same item or.
Michael Wilbon
We'Ll match it Lowe's, we help you save price.
Tony Kornheiser
Match applies the same item current price at qualifying retailers. Exclusions and terms apply.
Michael Wilbon
Learn how we'll match price@lowes.com lowest price guarantee.
Tony Kornheiser
Previously on the Tony Kornheiser Show. I asked one of their coaches, why do they call him Big Dumper?
Michael Wilbon
And he goes, well, his butt is.
Tony Kornheiser
As big as a school bus. So I went to Cal Raleigh and.
Michael Wilbon
Said this was the description, that your.
Tony Kornheiser
Butt is as big as a school bus. And Cal Raleigh looks at me and goes, yep, that's about right. So he's also funny and self deprecating.
Michael Wilbon
And that's all part of him being.
Tony Kornheiser
Big Dumper and one of the best players in baseball. The Tony Kornizer show is on now. And we will talk later in the show with Dave Sims, who broadcast Seattle Mariners games for years and years and years. And we'll ask about Cal Rawley and the entire Big Dumper episode. We'll also compare him to Aaron Judge. Sure, Judge. Dave Simms is broadcasting the Yankees this year, so he's probably gotten to know Judge a little bit. Though probably not as well as Cal Rawley, but we'll have him on. Michael is on his way home from a vacation. Nigel is with me. Our intern Chris Cullen is with us. Who hasn't done anything for this show.
Nigel
No, really hasn't, has he?
Tony Kornheiser
We're gonna get to him a little while Let me just take care of some. Ma, there's a wedding. We missed it. We were invited and we missed it. It was June 6th. Oh, Tim and Harjit. Tim Ziegler, who's a little. From Martinsburg, West Virginia. We missed it, but we wish them well.
Nigel
Absolutely.
Tony Kornheiser
We could have joined them at Buchanan hall for, you know, a reception, but we missed it.
Nigel
Missed the. The Bezos wedding as well.
Michael Wilbon
Right.
Tony Kornheiser
Seem to have missed that one that's in the newspaper lot. The newspaper. He.
Nigel
Yes.
Tony Kornheiser
Lots of pictures of his intended. Where are they? In Italy.
Nigel
Venice.
Tony Kornheiser
Yes. And they're taking over the entire city?
Nigel
Feels like it. Yes.
Tony Kornheiser
Yeah. Lots of cavalcade of stars. I'm not certain that everyone is happy with that. I'm not certain that you may be right. Yeah. Also, we got a note, another invite, I guess, from Jack and Ashley Wagoner in Coatesville, Indiana. So we got that. We want to acknowledge weddings and happy occasions from people who listen to the show and maybe watch PTI as well. That's very nice. Let's get to Chris. You. You. Last time I saw you, you were on crutches. You're now just have an ace bandage on your leg, it looks like. Right?
Dave Sims
Yeah. Right now, when I'm not working, I just got a high top on. But I got a job at the Improv in our time off, so.
Tony Kornheiser
Wait, wait, so you used to be. You were doing sets at Solly's?
Dave Sims
Oh, yeah. For the Improv. I'm serving tables, so I'll do.
Tony Kornheiser
Oh, so you're not doing comedy at the Improv?
Dave Sims
No, I'm sitting.
Tony Kornheiser
But isn't that what you want to do is comedy at the Improv?
Dave Sims
Yeah.
Tony Kornheiser
Well, don't you think. Don't you think you could try it out with the customers at the tables?
Dave Sims
Oh, I do.
Tony Kornheiser
You could say that guy up there's a stiff. Listen to this.
Dave Sims
Oh, there are definitely times where I'm throwing a joke at the customers and they are not liking it really much as. As much as the stage.
Tony Kornheiser
Oh, okay. So did. Have you performed in the week that we were gone?
Dave Sims
Yes, this past weekend I hosted at Solly, which is just. You do a bit of a longer set in the beginning, and then you're back up on stage introducing the rest of the comics.
Tony Kornheiser
So, like, have you ever bombed?
Dave Sims
Fun fact, the first time I ever bombed was on my birthday this past year.
Tony Kornheiser
Right. So you bombed. You know what that's like.
Nigel
Yes, I know. That's very much like.
Tony Kornheiser
Oh, yeah.
Nigel
Yes.
Tony Kornheiser
So I was once, many, many, many years ago. A name that you. You will not know, Chris, at all. Your parents would know it, and your grandparents would know it, and Nigel will know it. Glenn Brenner. Glenn Brenner was a brilliantly funny sportscaster in Washington, D.C. he was tall guy, about six four, six five. He had been a pitcher in the Philadelphia Phillies organization at one point. Never made the majors.
Nigel
I had no idea about that.
Tony Kornheiser
Yeah. Yeah. And Glenn was. Glenn was really funny. I mean, you know, there's funny for a sports writer and then there's funny. And Glenn was funny. And Glenn. I once asked Glenn, have you ever done stand up? He said, yeah. I said, how'd you do it? He said, well, it doesn't matter if I did. Well, it's when you bomb that matters. It's when you bomb that gets you off the stage. Where you go, it's worked yesterday, it's not working today. And it's always, you know, the old joke was, well, I'm performing in front of a room of Japanese tourists, and they don't speak English.
Chris Cullen
And so why.
Tony Kornheiser
Why am I doing this at all? But what is. What's bombing like for you? Is it discouraged? Do you want to not go out again?
Dave Sims
It definitely. It takes a hit on the ego. It's just sitting there with, like, you tell the joke, and right when, like, you get to the punchline, you're expecting to take a few seconds.
Tony Kornheiser
These are foolproof lines you've got. Right. They've always seeming before. No.
Dave Sims
Oh.
Tony Kornheiser
Oh, no.
Dave Sims
This is when I bomb. It's usually at school because it's. I usually do a new five every time to see, like, what works.
Tony Kornheiser
Oh, okay.
Dave Sims
And there are some times where some of those jokes don't hit as hard as they would in my head. And I'm. My thought process is just, you got to keep pushing forward because everybody bombs.
Tony Kornheiser
Yeah, but do you get off quicker? I mean, if you have an extended period of time. Let's say. Let's say you're going to do 10 minutes, and your first four minutes are a disaster. They're a disaster. Do you cut it short or do you keep pushing through so that then people would yell, get off the stage?
Nigel
Well, the problem is if you jump off stage early, then. Then the guys after, you have to fill more time.
Tony Kornheiser
Yeah, I would say you have to. You have to go. You have to do it.
Dave Sims
Yeah. If you had 10 minutes, you got to fill those 10 minutes. And if I'm up there, I'm up there for spite. If they're not like it.
Chris Cullen
Right.
Dave Sims
I'm Sticking up there for the next.
Tony Kornheiser
Five, and I'm okay. Do you. This is what I would hope you would do. I'd hope you'd pick out a couple of people in the audience and start shredding them personally the way they look. And even. Even decide you could say, I don't even think you smell good. I mean, stuff like that. Have you ever. Have you ever done attack comedy on the.
Dave Sims
No, because I'm do that. I've had it done to me, and I was like this.
Tony Kornheiser
It's brutal.
Dave Sims
It's worse than bombing, actually. It's like, not only is. Are you not being funny, you're being unfunny and mean.
Tony Kornheiser
Yeah.
Dave Sims
I was like, this is awful.
Tony Kornheiser
Mean is good. Has a club owner ever come up to rescue you and say, that's not your night, kid?
Dave Sims
No, actually, I Hosting this weekend. I did have to do that a few times because, like, as host, you've got, like.
Tony Kornheiser
You had to get. You had to get a couple of guys off the stage.
Dave Sims
Well, all I have to do is sit there. I have my phone, and I just flash a light when you got a minute left. And there are times where I'm like, he's bombing.
Tony Kornheiser
I'll.
Dave Sims
I'll cut him a little bit short.
Tony Kornheiser
Yeah.
Dave Sims
Just to save all of us some trouble and some dead air.
Tony Kornheiser
So at the end of the night, do. Let's say it's five different people who are performing. Maybe it's more than that. We'll just use the number five. At the end of the night, if three or four of them have done very poorly, does everybody gather together afterwards and commiserate with the people who've done poorly, or do you just get out of dodge? You don't want to have anything to do with them. You don't want it to rub off on you.
Dave Sims
Well, I think it depends. Like, it depends on the setting because I'm. I'm never, like, a big fan of being like, oh, you had one bad set. You're a bad comedian. I'm very much like, you had a bad set. Everybody has a bad set. If I have a bad set and somebody comes up, talks to me, is like, hey, I would want to work these jokes with you. I would accept it.
Tony Kornheiser
So nobody has ever said to you, you're in the wrong business, son?
Dave Sims
No.
Tony Kornheiser
Like, you have no chance here. Go out and paint. Paint houses.
Dave Sims
I've gotten that look in the eyes, though, while I'm on stage. I'm like, oh, I'm. I'm reading you pretty well right now it's great.
Tony Kornheiser
When that happened, I would never do it. I would never have the nerve to do it. Never. All right, let me tell people. I was in Delaware for over a week. Turned out to be over a week. The weather was inhospitable in Washington. It wasn't great in Delaware by any stretch, but it was better in Delaware than it was in Washington. So we stayed out there. Two things went wrong. One, our dog walker out there couldn't walk. The dog had bursitis.
Nigel
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Tony Kornheiser
He can't. Couldn't. His legs hurt. Couldn't walk the dog. He's a one man business.
Nigel
Yeah. There's no backup.
Tony Kornheiser
So you know who walked the dog?
Nigel
I believe I walked Anthony.
Tony Kornheiser
Yes. I walked the dog. Yeah. Four times a day. Dog didn't want to be out.
Nigel
No.
Tony Kornheiser
You know, it was too hot. I ended up walking the dog, so that was bad. The second thing was Nigel got sick as a dog.
Nigel
Yes.
Tony Kornheiser
And was supposed to be out with us on Thursday and Friday and could not make it. Do you want to describe what happened?
Nigel
I still am trying to figure out whether it was too much sun and heat or whether I ate something poorly or it was just some mystery bug I got for about 24 to 36 hours. But I drove back here on Wednesday night, intending to drive back Thursday morning.
Tony Kornheiser
To the beach and to bring stuff like clothing. I didn't have any clothing out there to wear on television.
Nigel
It was a necessary mission.
Tony Kornheiser
That's why I was wearing purple jackets.
Nigel
And I had the shirts, like. But when I woke up on Thursday morning, I was like, well, I'm. I'm really tired.
Tony Kornheiser
But.
Nigel
Well, you just drove last night. It was a late night. That could be it. But it never. I was never really able to sort of break through that. And then I started feeling sick.
Tony Kornheiser
Got.
Nigel
Got actually sick about three or four times.
Tony Kornheiser
Yeah. Matt Williamson came out. He was a total trooper.
Nigel
He really. Yes.
Tony Kornheiser
Went from Washington to Delaware to Washington to Delaware.
Nigel
Yeah.
Tony Kornheiser
Washington.
Nigel
Real rock star. Yeah.
Tony Kornheiser
It was great.
Nigel
And the worst moment was when I realized, because I was like, you have to get in a car and you have to drive. It's gonna be three hours. You have to leave within the next half an hour or there's no show. Like, you've got to do this. And then when I called Kelleher and I was like, I. I don't think.
Tony Kornheiser
This is gonna work. Yeah.
Nigel
And then the.
Tony Kornheiser
Great. Now we were saved.
Nigel
Yes.
Tony Kornheiser
Matt saved us.
Nigel
But my favorite part of this was when Eric called and said, do you think you could Talk Tony through the startup procedure and camera.
Tony Kornheiser
To turn the cameras on.
Nigel
Yes.
Tony Kornheiser
Which is. It's, it's not only is it not in my job description to turn the cameras on, that's the least of it. I don't know how to do it. I have no idea what to do. There's not, it's not a simple switch. Right. It's not like, let's turn it on. Show it to me. No. So you did. But we got through it.
Nigel
We got through it. And as I described to some people over the weekend, this was a very much like an Apollo 13 situation. You were in the capsule. I was, you know, Gary Sinisebag looking at a diagram, saying, I press this button.
Tony Kornheiser
Well, you told me a couple of times to do a certain thing that something was against the wall. And it did. It was not against the wall.
Nigel
No, it was not. It was not.
Tony Kornheiser
So you were leading me down a path.
Nigel
I was.
Tony Kornheiser
To my own destruction, but it worked.
Nigel
All I could think of, though, if Tom Hanks's character, Lovell, you know, when they'd said, you know, how are things going? Said, look, there's no point in doing this. It's not going to work. We're all going to die.
Tony Kornheiser
Yeah, so. So we got it. But.
Nigel
Yes, but hats off to you because you started up the system and got it online.
Tony Kornheiser
All right, let me tell, let me just tell the story that, that I wanted to tell Rehoboth Beach. The golf course at Rehoboth beach where I play has decided, or did decide to go a little bit more green than it used to be. This is like, this is the Greta Thunberg rule. And so the small plastic bottles of water that are provided at a variety of holes, they decided, well, we're not going to do this anymore because the plastic isn't. It's just not a good idea. We're going to give everybody who's a member a bottle, a water bottle. You know, a more echo friendly water, I guess would be eco friendly water bottle. And you'll fill the water. You'll fill the bottle with ice and water. And at various stops along the way, there'll be ice and water and you'll continue to fill it for what you need when it's, I don't know, a hundred degrees outside. Except there aren't a lot of stations to do it in yet. And there are still some coolers with small bottles. So it's not fully committed, but that's, that's irrelevant. You can just stop in the pro shop if you're a member and you say, can I have one of these bottles? And I had one of these bottles the last time I was out there and left it in the cart. I left it in the cart. Of course, I left it in the car, or I brought it home and then forgot to bring it the next day. Of course I did that because this is new to me. Yeah, I've had, you know, 20 years of doing something a very specific way, and now all of a sudden it's change and I don't know how to deal with it. So what I have is, I have one of those. It's not a yeti, it's an orca, but it's one of those metallic cups that you put ice in and water in, and it holds it cold, literally for hours. Yes, these things are remark. They truly are remarkable. The first mistake I made, the first day I used it, I brought it out from here, I brought it out to the beach, I brought it to the. Well, I forgot it the first day, but one of the days I brought it to the golf course and I filled it with ice and just a little bit of water on the top, Assuming as anyone would, the ice would melt over time and you would have cold water in there. The ice doesn't melt, kids. It doesn't melt. So by hole 4, you have no water. You go, wait, what happened? It's just ice. Well, I've never gone through that before in any other course I've ever played. You put ice in a cup, the ice melt. That's the way it goes. So I finally understood the mechanics of it, and I filled it with like a 30 to 40% of ice and the rest with water. And then every time I passed, go to the shack, you know, you get it at four, number five, and you get it at number 12, and you fill it with more water. And it becomes rather complicated. But the, the bottle is, is not in my field of vision when I go to play golf. It's not. I don't. I wear a watch. I take the watch off. I have a phone. I take the phone out of my pocket. I have. What else do I have? Watch, phone, wallet, other things, keys, my car keys. And I put them in my golf bag and I put them in the pouch in my golf bag where I keep my golf glove. And I do this wherever I go, whatever bag I'm using, I do this. And so I understand that when I get to 18, or if it's in a shotgun, whenever you're done, I put the golf balls that are in my pocket, back in the golf ball pouch. I go to the pouch where I have the golf gloves, and I take out my stuff because I can't drive without it. My keys are in there. My watch is in there. My phone is in there. Phone is shut off during the round. I put it on silence or whatever. I don't have that memory. With. With the ice thing? Yeah, with the tumbler, I guess it's called. Is that what it's called, a tumbler?
Nigel
Yeah.
Tony Kornheiser
I don't know. I don't know what it's called. I don't care what it's called. It works great. I left it. The first day, I left it. I only left the green one. I didn't matter. They got a thousand green ones. It didn't matter. And the first day I left the tumbler, you know, I called up and I said, oh, I. I left it. And they said, okay, we'll get it out of the cart. We'll get it for you. And they had it for me. The next day, the last day I played, I left it again because I don't think of it.
Nigel
Yeah, it's not in your routine.
Tony Kornheiser
I was playing with Alan. Alan and I were out in a golf cart, and I put it in, you know, one of the holes. You know the thing in the golf cart where you put water and stuff like that?
Nigel
Yeah.
Tony Kornheiser
And I left it there. And Alan was playing the next day with Gary, and so Alan took the cart. They just put Alan's clubs and Gary's clubs on that cart and took my clubs off and put them in storage. And I called up and I said, I left it. And they said, well, we'll find it. And I called the next day. Well, we haven't found it. Oh, you're never gonna find it. You're never. It's done. Yeah, it's gone. Yeah. I used it successfully maybe three times. Like, these things. It was a gift. It was a. It was a memento from playing in the mli, the Metro Lewis Invitational. And it was really good. It had the MLI logo on it. I was really. Look, I respect this. This item. I respect it, and it's gone, and I don't want people to send me. I did, you know, I've got a couple more at home, but my point is that it's new to me, and I left it, and it wasn't the first time I left it, and it's not going to be. I'm going to get another one, and it's not going to be the last Time I leave it, it's not going to be. So what you hope for is when you're handing in the card, someone says, is this yours? As if somebody doesn't say that to me. It's gone. Yeah, it's gone. Unless. Unless what? I write myself a note and put it on my hand. Like you did in grade school.
Nigel
Yeah.
Tony Kornheiser
Remember, lunch is at 12.
Nigel
String around your pinky.
Tony Kornheiser
Yeah. How I remember jokes, you know, Is that right? Them on your hand? Sure. I don't know. So I'm, I'm upset. And the amazing thing about these things is they're not just cool, they're hot as well.
Nigel
They keep. They keep hot liquors.
Tony Kornheiser
So Pat Maestrian, who's the director of golf out there, I told him, I told him the story about not having enough water because it's because the ice doesn't melt. And he said he keeps cups of coffee in there for hours and they're hot. And I asked the question anybody would ask, how does it know? How does it know to keep it hot or keep it cold? It's an old joke. How does it know? You never heard that joke, did you, Chris? No. He started laughing sincerely. It's the first time I've said anything that made him laugh sincerely. Because he mostly tells his parents. The guy thinks he's funny. He stinks. He's got to shut up. No. How does it know? So anyway, so I, I got another one. I got a Nats one.
Nigel
Okay.
Tony Kornheiser
I got one that Steve Rose gave me from the Gnats. I don't know if it's as good as this one. This one was an orca. This one was really good. And it's gone.
Nigel
Yeah.
Tony Kornheiser
And that stuff happens. We'll take a break. Is who's first? Is it Wilbon?
Nigel
Wilbourne's first?
Tony Kornheiser
Yes. Michael Wilbon. When we return, I'm Tony Kornheiser. You're listening to the Tony Kornheiser Show. This is the Game Time read. Game Time is the official ticketing partner of the Tony Kornheiser Show. If you're thinking about going to a baseball game, look no further than Game Time to get your tickets. Game Time makes getting tickets even faster and easier. Prices on the gametime app actually go down the closer it gets to the first pitch. Plus they have phenomenal last minute deals in their lowest price guarantee. Now, if you know me, you know that I don't know how apps work, but Michael and Nigel have used Game Time a lot. They've been really happy with it. You've used it.
Nigel
I have. I've used it a lot. And I was just looking at some games coming up that would be of great interest to the DC folks. The Red Sox and the Detroit Tigers are both coming to town, I believe in about a week or so. So those are phenomenal games. And again, you want to get a great deal. You want to see how your seats are going to look before you actually purchase the tickets. Yeah, they use Game Time.
Tony Kornheiser
They have great last minute deals that let you save up to 60% off for sports, concerts, comedy, theater, any big event you're looking to go to. Game Time Zone deals let you save even more when you choose a section and let Game Time choose the seats. The fees are included. You know your total upfront. No surprise fees at checkout. And this is my personal favorite, the seat views that Nigel talked about. The app gives you a panoramic view from your seat before you buy. Take the guesswork out of buying tickets with GameTime. Download the GameTime app, create an account, use the code Tony for $20 off. Your first purchase terms apply. Again, create an account and redeem the code T O n y for $20 off. Download the Gametime app today. Last minute tickets, lowest price guaranteed. You're listening to the Tony Kornheiser show. You know that moment at night when you're locking up, turning off the lights and you just want to feel completely safe before heading to bed. That's what Simply Safe can give you. Just ask Nigel. He's been using it for a while now. He absolutely loves it. And the peace of mind it gives him. So we'll ask you.
Nigel
Yes, the peace of mind is invaluable. Guarding, safeguarding, all the things I have in my flat, including my two cats, you know, don't want people sneaking in and mucking about with it. And SimpliSafe gives you that peace of mind.
Tony Kornheiser
Whether he's home or away, he knows his place is protected. And not just after something happens, but before you see their new active guard. Outdoor protection is a game changer. Most systems wait until someone breaks in. Simply Safe steps in. Before that, using AI powered cameras and real human agents, they detect suspicious activity around your property. If someone's lurking, the agents can speak directly to them, shine spotlights, even call the police. It's like having a virtual security guard always on duty. There are no contracts, no hidden fees. Simply Safe was named the best home security system of 2025 by CNET. Over 4 million Americans trust Simplisafe. And they're ranked in customer Service, ranked number one customer service by Newsweek in USA Today. Visit SimpliSafe.com Tony to claim 50% off a new system with a professional monitoring plan and get your first month free. That's simplisafe.com Tony because there's no safe like SimpliSafe. You're listening to the Tony Kornheiser Show. So last week we played some songs from Philip Martin, whose day job is as a columnist at the Arkansas Democrat Gazette. And he's a songwriter and a singer, and he was just terrific. And he writes. At the risk of wearing out my welcome, here's a couple more of my forthcoming album, Tigertown, which is being released on the 4th of July, which is Friday called what the Money's for and something of a miracle. Tigertown will be available on all the streaming services, etc. But people should endeavor to go see live musicians play live. That's how you can really support them. I've had several people reach out after hearing the songs on the show. Wow. Really? Enjoy the podcast. I'm a little abashed by the kind words that's it's he's very, very good.
Nigel
Although all the words are deserved.
Tony Kornheiser
Yeah, Very, very good. Plays in Michael Wilbond I called Wilbot yesterday when the golf playoff was going on, because I was watching. I wasn't familiar with the golfers who were in it. I knew their names. I'd watched them this week. I didn't know any more than that. And I said to Mike, we've got nothing for tomorrow's pti. And you said, what? Do you remember what you said?
Chris Cullen
We got nothing for nine weeks.
Tony Kornheiser
That's right. For nine weeks we got nothing.
Chris Cullen
You know, I mean, it used to be much longer. I mean, the period between when the NBA really used to end in our younger days, which was around Memorial Day, and you went to Labor Day and nobody paid attention in real life, nobody, you know, had shows that revolved around every stupid thing that happened at every stupid football camp, meaning NFL, in all of July and August. And you basically, you went from, you know, the end of the NBA Finals, you went to the All Star Game, Major League Baseball, and then you went to, you know, the US Open and some college football around Labor Day. And then you started the NFL. So you had, you know, 20 weeks that were soft, to say the least. And now, because every sport wants to go forever and they want to obsess you and be talked about in the off season and free agency period and trading period, and, you know, they just, they just want to go forever. You Have a shorter time period. You also had this one, the flight of Tony. That applies increasingly to a lot of people, even including me. I have a period now where I'll watch soccer. And then the leagues themselves, they start three weeks earlier than the NFL. Like the Premier League will start Aug. 14, I think in League One and La Liga and all the major soccer leagues will start that weekend, that August 14th. I looked up because in my house now, Matthew and I will go to a game. Well, we may go see PSG play in, in Paris or we go to a Premier League game in, I don't know, Liverpool or Manchester or someplace. We'll probably do that. So August 14th, so that's, you know, we're cut down on the amount of time that is nothing, but there's still several weeks of nothing.
Tony Kornheiser
Speaking of soccer, there was a very good walk up story. The notion that Lionel Messi and the people at Inter Miami of the MLS were going to play psg, the greatest club team in Europe. Europe is the greatest soccer area, obviously. And there was, I don't want to say wild optimism. There was cautious optimism that maybe that would be a good game. Maybe even Messi had enough left with the old guys who were on his team who just came in this year and were, you know, pretty good that they could beat psg. They didn't do that. You watch that game, right?
Chris Cullen
Yeah, yeah. PSG had apparently gotten a whiff of this too. And they just started the game and said, take this and take this and take that and then take this with you to how for house for nothing. Get out of here. Yeah, yeah, take your pig.
Tony Kornheiser
Get out of here. Yeah.
Chris Cullen
It's like, oh my God, this is such a beat down. It was, you know, it was like, stop. You know, it's interesting. The rest of the world, they look all with curiosity, they hear the noise coming out of the United States every year, every year now or every, you know, every, you know, it trends. We're better, we're better. We got a kid now. We got, we got a kid playing for Chelsea. We got one. We're gonna, we're coming, we're gonna, we're gonna, you know, qualify for. We're gonna, you know, make the middle round in World Cups. Make, eliminate. No, we're not. No, we're not, we're not. Just stop, please stop.
Tony Kornheiser
Five years away from being five years away.
Chris Cullen
Yeah. And then that's one reason why I like going to, I like, I've gone to, I went to Russia to see World cup in 2000, whatever that was, I don't know, 18, whatever. I can lose track now. And you just, you see, you. You see what the best of something is, and you're not fooled.
Tony Kornheiser
And you know, you know, once you see it, no, you don't get fooled again. Did you watch. Did you watch Tarek Scuba last night at all? I did for about five innings. He's his total stud, Mike.
Chris Cullen
Yeah, well, yeah, he.
Tony Kornheiser
I think he struck out seven of the first nine guys he faced.
Chris Cullen
Yeah, well, he may be the best pitcher in the game.
Tony Kornheiser
I think so.
Chris Cullen
I mean, there's a reason why Detroit has the best, I think. Detroit.
Tony Kornheiser
Yeah.
Chris Cullen
They do record the American League.
Tony Kornheiser
They do.
Chris Cullen
Yeah. They're. And they're a threat. And you, you know, you get one guy who can anchor you like that, and he's not their only pitcher. But, you know, school. I. I watched school about 10 days ago. Was it about 10 days ago, I guess, pitch against the Cubs. Yeah. So I did not watch that last night. I watched the Cubs lose to nothing, the Astros yesterday. And I had enough baseball. That was enough for me. I was in a bad mood. So. But yeah, so baseball will be the thing that, luckily my team is involved in something, and I will be, you know, a daily participant in that endeavor.
Tony Kornheiser
Yeah.
Chris Cullen
While we get to the point where football matters again, which is basically a.
Tony Kornheiser
Month from now, I would say I agree with that big day in Detroit yesterday. I mean, Skubal is pitching and the Tigers win. And I said this off. Off air. I believe that. That big block gothic D, I think that's the best uniform in baseball. I do. Do you like that one?
Chris Cullen
I like it.
Tony Kornheiser
I love it.
Chris Cullen
I love classic uniforms. I don't want to see.
Tony Kornheiser
I love it.
Chris Cullen
You know, one of the things that makes me angry, and if I was the owner, I don't care how many they sold, I would fire everybody who came. Came to me in Boston with those yellow and blue.
Tony Kornheiser
Hideous.
Chris Cullen
What are you doing?
Tony Kornheiser
Hideous beyond words. Beyond words.
Chris Cullen
No. So I like. I like the uniforms of my youth, which includes, you know, the Detroit uniforms and. And obviously the Cubs and Yankees. And I like the Cardinals. Beautiful.
Tony Kornheiser
Oh, great unis. I've always had the road uniforms.
Chris Cullen
The Cardinal road uniforms are spectacular.
Tony Kornheiser
They're always good.
Chris Cullen
And. Yeah. And the Dodgers, you know. Yeah, I like. No, I want the uniforms that haven't changed over 100 years. That's. That's just me.
Tony Kornheiser
So Detroit had a lot going on yesterday. Detroit had this golf tournament. There was nobody other than Colin Morikawa who finished a little bit up the track. I mean, had a good tournament, but finished, I don't know, eighth place, ninth place, whatever it was. Never put pressure on the leaders. I think that's something like only six of the top hundred players. Only six. I looked at a leaderboard on Saturday and was unfamiliar with almost everybody in the top 10 at that point. But it turned out with a three man playoff. That was a two man playoff that went five extra holes with Pot Gieter, who's only 20 years old. 20, 20. And Max Grazerman. It turned out pretty good, didn't it?
Chris Cullen
Yeah, it did. It turned out pretty good and it turned fairly entertaining for, you know, a tournament that's not one of the big dates on the calendar. I care about it because it's Detroit and I'm a Midwestern kid and I care about Detroit. I root for Detroit despite being a rival in all division ways for, you know, a million years with one Chicago team or another. And so I like to see that tournament. I like to see it there. I remember Rickie Fowler won it in the playoff a few years ago. Matty Fitzpatrick, Northwestern zone, was. Was like, you know, like Morikawa, he was up there for a while and then, you know, didn't cash it in. So, yeah, I was. I had two. Two guys I was rooting for in that field. And the golf course, which I've actually been to, is beautiful. And they're gonna tear part of it up now to redo it. I don't know what to want in specifically, but. But it was. It was fine. It was, it was. It was fine. No, it didn't have, you know, the glamorous names, but, you know, too bad. I. I don't.
Tony Kornheiser
That's okay.
Chris Cullen
Always need that to enjoy an event. And yesterday was one of those.
Tony Kornheiser
I liked it. And again, the kid, pot gator, he's 20. He's simply 20 years old and. And he won a PGA tournament. I don't care if I was in it. He won a PGA tournament.
Chris Cullen
Yeah.
Tony Kornheiser
At 20.
Chris Cullen
And.
Tony Kornheiser
Come on.
Chris Cullen
The cool thing was, I think of the three playoff contestants, one was 20, one was 30, one was 40.
Tony Kornheiser
Yeah.
Chris Cullen
And you're only getting that for the most part in golf, so that's, you know, that itself was cool.
Tony Kornheiser
I enjoyed that. I wanted to ask you. We talked about this yesterday. I want to remember to ask you. The Bulls traded Lonzo Ball. Lonzo Ball and Lamelo Ball have had spectacular small runs, but by and large have been hurt so much that they've never been what we. Not that we necessarily thought they would be, but do you remember how many years ago is it when Lamar Ball was the most famous sort of parent in all of sports? When everybody knew. How was that? Six, eight years ago at this point, Years ago.
Chris Cullen
Yeah. Wasn't Lonzo on the Lakers championship team? Doesn't he have a ring?
Tony Kornheiser
I don't know.
Chris Cullen
That bubble on the bubble team.
Tony Kornheiser
I don't know. I don't know. I know he was their number two pick overall.
Chris Cullen
Traded.
Tony Kornheiser
Yeah.
Chris Cullen
But he got. He is. And he's had. You know, he was on a team that was very. That was fascinating. He was at the center of it. And he performed at an extremely high level. Not 40 points. It wasn't measured by that. It's measured by his open. He led the league in making open shots. Something very basic, but they can help your team. He was also one of the best defensive players in the league at 6, 7. He was young. He's still young. He's like 27. And he had a knee injury. Was sidelined him for two years. Two years career.
Tony Kornheiser
Two years.
Chris Cullen
Yeah. And I'm glad to see him back. And he came back with the Bulls and he came back. You could see he still got glimpses of it, but they traded him for, you know, Isaac Okoro, who I know and like and hope that the Bulls are making. Look, you have to make the kinds of draft picks and deals that can put you into contention. That's how you do it. And so are the Bulls doing that? I don't know. But it's interesting. It's curious. Some of the people, they've gone out and gotten. And to do that one more time. They got rid of. They get rid of Lonzo Ball and that sort of ends a mini chapter, like you said, Tony, which is mostly marked by disappointment and nothing of his doing.
Tony Kornheiser
No. His brother is the same way. It's not there for.
Chris Cullen
He was apparently a really a good teammate.
Tony Kornheiser
Yeah.
Chris Cullen
A place. A player that people liked coaching. And, you know, he has a totally different personality than his younger brother who was like one of these kids, like this nutcase. I shouldn't say that because he's a kid who was drafted by Utah who basically says, I want to draft. I want to go where I can. The biggest place for me to be a starmer.
Tony Kornheiser
Yeah.
Chris Cullen
Well, I want to be a star. Like he's Judy Garland.
Nigel
By the way, Lonzo Ball traded from the Lakers to the pelicans. And after 2019. So.
Tony Kornheiser
Before he wasn't. Yeah.
Nigel
Because the Pelicans didn't win a title in the last few years.
Tony Kornheiser
They're never going to win a title. When they make trades with the Wizards. It's you go from bad team to bad team. It's like a punishment. Yeah. All right. I'll talk to you later.
Chris Cullen
All right, Tom.
Tony Kornheiser
Michael Wilbon, boys and girls. We'll take a break. We will come back. Dave Sims will join us. I'm Tony Kornheiser. Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. Now, I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills, but it.
Philip Martin
Turns out that's very illegal.
Tony Kornheiser
So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a try@mintmobile.com Switch upfront payment of $45 for a three month plan equivalent to $15 per month required. New customer offer for first three months only. Speed slow after 35 gigabytes of networks busy. Taxes and fees extra. See mintmobile.com Race the rudders, race the sails. Race the sails. Captain, an unidentified ship is approaching. Over. Roger, wait. Is that an enterprise sales solution?
Dave Sims
Reach sales professionals, not professional sailors.
Tony Kornheiser
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Dave Sims
Get started today at LinkedIn.com results, terms and conditions apply.
Tony Kornheiser
You're listening to the Tony Kornheiser show once again. This is Philip Martin, who in his day job is a columnist for the Arkansas Democrat Gazette. And then he writes songs and he plays songs and he's terrific. I mean, I didn't, you know, when I was a columnist for the Washington Post, I didn't do this. I couldn't do it. I'd love, I wish I could have done it.
Nigel
Well, you're working on your sailing career.
Tony Kornheiser
Yeah, well, I had to learn to become a charter fishing boat captain, you know, and now a potato farmer. Really good. Philip Martin. And this is a song called Something of a Miracle and it plays in our friend Dave Sims, whose team the Yankees is playing in Toronto tonight. And I was curious and I want to talk about Cal Rawley and Aaron Judge. Aaron Judge had two home runs yesterday. He's at 30 now. He's become only the fourth Yankee, not the fourth Yankee, the fourth person ever to have multiple years of 30 home runs before July 1st. It's a pretty good crew. It's Ken Griffey Jr. It's Sammy Sosa, it's George Herman Ruth, and it's Aaron Judge. We'll get to that. Is the warrior God going to pitch in this series? Is Max Scherzer going to pitch?
Michael Wilbon
Yeah, he's matching up against Carlos Rodan tonight. And Scherzer, you know, it seems like he's been perpetually injured recently, but I share your sentiment, too. And when he was good man, he really was a warrior God. And I think that's pretty.
Tony Kornheiser
Yeah, I love him as a pitcher. I mean, I never get mad. I wouldn't even get mad if he beat the Nats. I mean, I wouldn't because I like him that much as a pitcher. He's going to the hall of Fame. The three guys, the three guys that are active right now that are going to the hall of Fame are Scherzer and Verlander and Kershaw. And they are going in and they're pro. They're going to go in first ballot because they're, they're all just great. But each has had injury problems in the last few years. Scherzer's really. Scherzer's had him more than the other two guys, I think.
Michael Wilbon
No question. And when you look at his numbers here, my goodness, he's. This is only going to be his third game.
Tony Kornheiser
Yeah.
Michael Wilbon
In nine games last year, eight and 23. The last time he, you know, put up numbers of consequence in terms of starts is 27 back in 2023. So, I mean, he, he's doing what we see a lot in baseball, is landing a plane and, and successfully, but not putting up numbers. You know what I mean?
Tony Kornheiser
Yeah. No, he got a World Series ring with Texas and I don't even know that he. I think he may have appeared in one game in the World Series or maybe not at all, you know.
Michael Wilbon
Yeah, so. But I have admired him from a distance for a long time. I met him at a Georgetown game I was doing years ago. Yeah.
Tony Kornheiser
Yeah. He's wonderful. All right, so let, let's, let's get to your perhaps unique perspective. I don't know how this works because I never broadcast baseball, but broadcasting baseball is a 162 game deal. I assume you travel with the team. I assume you're around the team. That doesn't mean your pals with people on the team, it's not your job to be their pal, but you're around them. So let's go back to the Seattle days when you broadcast the Mariners. How well, if at all, did you know Cal Raleigh?
Michael Wilbon
He is a lovely guy. He is. He's got the quiet demeanor. And for you old timers out there, you would say a Gary Cooper type of roles that Gary Cooper plays, strong, silent type. But you know, it's like the E.F. hutton commercials. When he talks at pitchers, listen and they love throwing to him. He's very good at what he does. After all, he was the Platinum club winner last year. And you know, he's the son of a coach, coach at Tennessee. And he's a baseball player, man, and he knows all the ins and outs and he has really made himself into an outstanding switch hitting, power, hitting catcher.
Tony Kornheiser
I'm not sure.
Michael Wilbon
Let me just add this too real quick. He provided me with, I think, and easily my number one baseball broadcast moment when he hit the home run playoff spot for the Mariners in 22.
Tony Kornheiser
I don't know that people know this. They know that there is a thing called the Gold Glove. And the Gold Glove goes to everybody. Every position player who is considered to be the best at his position in the league. The Platinum Glove, which Cal Rawley won last year, says you're the best defensive player. You're. You're Miles Garrett, you're T.J. watt. You're the best of all the great defensive players. Right? I, I don't know how many people know there is a Platinum Glove day.
Michael Wilbon
Yeah, that's a good point. And I had a friend of mine who's a sportsman fan who's been around forever and he's more of an east coast guy, but he said, who's this Cal Raleigh guy? I said, dude, really? He's been a leading player, you know, for the Mariners. Now granted, the Mariners don't win a lot and a lot of people don't, you know, don't hear from him on this side of our side of the country, on the east side of the country. But he's a great player and a very, very good guy. And I think his power stroke is a little bit more left handed, but he's improving seemingly every, every day as a right hand power hitter too. Catcher is, forget about it. He's great.
Tony Kornheiser
It's such a hard physical position to play. The thought of a switch hitting catcher. When Keyboard Ruiz came up with the gnats and they said he's a switch hitter, I said, what? A catcher is a switch hitter. I would never have expected that. What do you think his nickname is? Big Dumper. At the beginning of the show we had the clip from Tim Kirchen saying, that's because his can is as big as a bus. What do you. It's gotta be one of the. That and Fairway Jesus are the greatest nicknames in sp. Sports now, right?
Michael Wilbon
Yeah, I, you know, when I, when I was in Seattle and when they come in, they come in next week to the stadium. I don't use the big dumper. Jared Kelnick gave it to him and I don't know, it just doesn't work for me. And I agree with his mom, but I mean, you know what it's. He's turning it into, you know, marketing opportunity. I don't blame him on that. And a switch hitting catcher. It's a small list of great switch hitting catchers over the years. I mean, Ted Simmons is on the hall of Fame. Jorge Posada had a great career with the Yankees. Who was the guy with the Orioles? Had a couple of really good years. Real tall catch.
Tony Kornheiser
I think his name is Matt Weeders. Etchebaron.
Michael Wilbon
Matt Weeders. Yeah, Matt Weeders.
Tony Kornheiser
Okay.
Michael Wilbon
Andy Etchebaron. Now you're going back to 66.
Tony Kornheiser
Yeah, I'm old.
Michael Wilbon
Well, I'm right behind you. But that's. It's a grueling sport. The beauty of today's game is that, you know, Dan Wilson, now the manager of the Mariners, they can DH him.
Tony Kornheiser
Yeah.
Michael Wilbon
So he can get him off his feet. So he can still get 4 abs and he can still do some damage.
Tony Kornheiser
What do you think of him as a player? How good?
Michael Wilbon
Oh, he's very good. Let's see, you're having a draft of current players. Like if you're putting a team together and you want catcher. He's. He's my catcher.
Tony Kornheiser
Okay. He's the first one. He's first when you pick a catcher. Yeah. Okay, so. But now you're broadcasting Yankee games. Aaron Judge is The current incumbent MVP, as I said, 30 home runs. Only three other, only four other guys. Sosa, Griffey, Ruth, I guess maybe that's it. Have gotten to 30 home runs before July in multiple seasons. The question becomes, we did this on PTI about a week ago. Right now. Right now, today. I believe Raleigh still has more home runs than Judge. Right. I believe he last.
Michael Wilbon
I think it was one Judge at two yesterday. So I think he closed it to within two.
Tony Kornheiser
Yeah, yeah, he's within two. I think that Raleigh has more RBI than Judge. Raleigh does not have the average. Judge does, of course, but Raleigh's about 40 points over the average batting average of a catcher. You watch these people play. If you had to vote MVP right now, not, not the end of September, right now, would you give it to Judge or Raleigh?
Michael Wilbon
I'll give it to Judge, but Raleigh, Cal be a close second really close. Second. Because wherever the Mariners are in the standings, I think they're three over.500. They're not sniffing three over.500 without Cal. Raleigh, please.
Tony Kornheiser
That's right.
Michael Wilbon
That night. Close. And. And here's the thing. And I think I heard a part of what Tim was saying the other day, and I'm one. I'm in that camp that I think all these leagues should have not only an MVP but a player of the year award. And as you know, it's one of the major awards, you know, from the writers. But Judge, watching Judge is historic. Yeah, I mean, it seemed like every.
Chris Cullen
Yeah.
Michael Wilbon
He goes into slum and then he's like, well, you know, home run in four days. I'm like, all right, start to watch. Because here it comes. Sure enough, yesterday, and even I even said, I think before the first home run, boy, he could really use one to break out, get things going. Swinging a drive. And there it went. And then he did it again. I think two at bats later. I mean, he's just been unbelievable. When you go to Baseball Reference, most of his numbers are black, like a guy named Ruth or Aaron. You know what I mean? It's just, it's any. You know what? Here's the other thing. People don't talk about this. He's a good right field. Yes, he really is good. He's got an accurate cannon. I mean, maybe not, you know, Dave Parker, Winfield, Ellis Valentine, cats like that had just ridiculous arms from right field. Ichiro Clemente. But he's. He's Dwight Evans. Dwight Evans. He's in that conversation.
Tony Kornheiser
No, he's. He's really good. And one of the things I was saying on the, on the PTI show was, look, he's a really good fielder. He's not as good as his at his position. Raleigh is. Because Raleigh's the platinum. I mean, it doesn't get any better. So it's interesting to me we are living in a time where Judge and Ohtani, they are all timers, right?
Michael Wilbon
Yes. They're old timers and trying to, you know what? If you're near TV or radio, try not to miss an at bat. Because, you know, there have been a couple times earlier in the season when the judges don't want. He's hitting ridiculous.356, which is the best of the major leagues. But when he was hitting like 403 and 410 every out, I mean, he could, you know, the life you saved may be your own. You better play deep at third and short. I mentioned that to George Springer. Last time we saw Toronto, I said, I like how your guys had their, their heels on the grass. He said, heels on the grass. I'm in the outfield and I move back.
Tony Kornheiser
Yeah, yeah, no, and it goes out in a hurry. It goes, it goes to the wall in a hurry. How's the season so far? You went from Seattle to New York. What are the biggest differences in your life?
Michael Wilbon
I take the subway to and from. That's probably the biggest thing. And I know the Juice in Yankee Stadium. Every game is off the chart.
Tony Kornheiser
Yeah.
Michael Wilbon
And boy. And then when they have a giveaway day, oh God, my God. You know, say for a 705 game, I'm getting there. Two, four. In a 245 to 315 window. On giveaway days, people are there at like 1:32 o' clock.
Tony Kornheiser
Really?
Michael Wilbon
I mean, it's insane. And recently, as you know, you guys can get in the heat, big heat in New York, standing in line like, man, really, to get a T shirt, to get a, to get a bobblehead, to get a cap. It's just unbelievable. But it's the Yankees. Yesterday we had a photo day and matter of fact, I think I was Dave Sims as the Beaver. I think I was the last one in line. I turned around, there was nobody behind me. All the players had come and caught. But I was taking pictures with people and people were.
Chris Cullen
Bleacher creature.
Michael Wilbon
People are just so fired up so into the Yankees, so into baseball and so desperate for them to get back to the World Series and win the team.
Tony Kornheiser
I would imagine the travel difference is enormous.
Michael Wilbon
Oh, yesterday, New York to Toronto. Hour and change.
Tony Kornheiser
Yeah.
Michael Wilbon
You know, the. In Seattle, the closest is, is going down to Sacramento. Now. I was gonna say Oklahoma. Now Sacramento, which is two and change, you know, and they have to have multiple three city road trips. We've got, we've got two. One left in September and you know, like, so this past week we were home, went to Cincy for three, come back play Toronto, I mean, play, play the A's for three and now we're up here in Toronto for four and then come home and play the Mets at their place for three. And then the welcome in the Mariners next Tuesday you can. And then the Cubs for three and then it's the All Star.
Tony Kornheiser
Yeah, yeah. I mean you can, you know, not so much Tampa Bay in the division, but Toronto's in the division, Boston's in the division, Baltimore's in the division. You can, if you have to go to Philadelphia or something like That, I mean, these are. These are far easier trips than Seattle. Right?
Michael Wilbon
Absolutely. You know, and our. The farthest west we have to go the remaining remainder of the season is Arlington, Texas.
Tony Kornheiser
Okay. Oh, so there's nothing in California anymore? There's nothing.
Michael Wilbon
We're done. Yeah.
Tony Kornheiser
Good for you. Good for you.
Chris Cullen
Are.
Tony Kornheiser
You sound great, by the way. Tarek scuba last night. Total stud.
Michael Wilbon
Insane.
Tony Kornheiser
Total stuff.
Chris Cullen
The charts. Yeah, baddest.
Michael Wilbon
Maybe the baddest man on the planet throw, you know, flowing from 60ft 6 inches.
Tony Kornheiser
He's.
Michael Wilbon
He's unbelievable.
Tony Kornheiser
So they said like and everything, man, early in the broadcast, because I was watching this, they talked about the fact that he was like the 220th player chosen in the draft.
Michael Wilbon
Yeah, well, it's like Piazza, Piazza was like, what, the 35th round? So.
Chris Cullen
Wow.
Michael Wilbon
Yeah, he's special and boy, he's super competitive. I talked to him at the writers, the baseball writers last January and then when we saw him in Detroit. Nice kid, very intense. He's put together like, you know, you always hear baseball guys talk about like Nolan Ryan and a lot of the great pitchers that are head coaching great, you know, lower bodies. Yeah, he's built like a Mack truck in his, you know, set in the lower half. It's unbelievable. He has, when you watch him, he has tremendous drive coming off, you know, coming up, pushing off the mound. And if there's one guy, I'd say that I don't want to just put this out in the ozone, but I don't think he's going to have too many arm problems the way he throws.
Tony Kornheiser
Hope that's true. Too many guys get lost to Tommy John. Thanks, Dave. Enjoy the game tonight.
Michael Wilbon
You got it, Tony. Good to hear from you guys. Be well.
Tony Kornheiser
Dave Sims. Boys and girls. We will take a break. We will come back with email and jingle. I'm Tony Kornheiser. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Knowing you could be saving money for the things you really want is a great feeling. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state. This is the Tony Kornizer Show.
Chris Cullen
Tony Kornizer show.
Tony Kornheiser
That's Phil Coleman on the euphonium. I don't know what a euphonium is, but I like the way it sounds. I never knew anybody who played the euphonium. Want to do the Bethesda bagels there. Chris got lucky because he got a bagel.
Nigel
Bagel sandwich today. Yeah. What's the line from the the Band song about Spike Jones? Hate the way he talks, but I love the way he sounds.
Tony Kornheiser
Yeah, yeah. I can't stand the way he sings, but I love to hear him talk.
Nigel
Yeah, that's it.
Tony Kornheiser
That's it.
Nigel
But there's the bagels.
Tony Kornheiser
Yeah.
Nigel
Good day to be here, Chris. We love them. You'll as well just go to bethesdabeagels.com for location in the D.C. area near Stew, then pop on in and you'll be thrilled.
Tony Kornheiser
All right, before we get to the mailbag, let me just say. Ever seen a blind man cross the road trying to make the other side? Ever seen a young girl growing old trying to make herself a bride? So what becomes of you, my love, when they have finally stripped you of the handbags and the glad rags that your granddad had to sweat so you could buy. That is a great song. Handbags and Glad Rags by Rod Stewart. Just a great song. I've said this a thousand times. I could listen to Rod Stewart, I could listen to Bob Seeger, I could listen to Bruce Springsteen sing any rock and roll. Yeah, any rock y. I mean, I could just listen to those voices. Such a great song. Thanks to our guests today, Michael Wilbon and Dave Sims. Thanks as well to today's sponsors. Remember, you can listen to us on Apple Podcast, Spotify, Audacy. If you get the show through Apple. Please leave us a review from Thomas R. Bogart in Scapoose, Oregon Chuck and Roxy362 I'm watching PTI. My wife looks up at the TV nonpluss. What's he wearing? I don't like that jacket. Looks too old. Manish. There you have it. Yeah, it was the purple jacket.
Nigel
Yeah.
Tony Kornheiser
You know what kind of. Bill MATFELD, Fort Mill, S.C. i remember that mauve jacket. It's what you wore. That's what you were wearing when I saw you play bass for Norwegian Soft kitten at the 9:30 club back in the 90s. I'm amazed it's still in good condition. I would have thought it would have been damaged when you stage dived into the crowd. That's fabulous. Mark Finer, Greenwich, Connecticut Fairway Jesus. Satan's Jail. Is this the pot or a Steinbeck novel? Keep at it, Dr. Hofwaffen. That elusive Nobel is a lock this fall as a self appointed unofficial interim inquiry teacher of the Tony Kornheiser show. I'm expecting a call in October from the Times to offer my exegesis of your bold, unflinching experimentation with postmodern auto fiction. That and you take on the Gnats pen. I hope you wear the purple blazer to the ceremony. The Gnats pen, by the way. Finnegan. Kyle Finnegan. Last night, goes three innings, gets nine outs, walks the first batter he faces. Course, has to walk, doesn't give up any hits. He'd never gone nine before. They kept saying he'd never gone nine before. This is Franny and Coco. He'd never gone nine. No, because he'd blown the save after four batters in the second inning or the first inning. He'd blown the save. He was great. Hey Mr. Tony C.J. from the land of Wilbon, tell Mr. Windhorse that given the weather lately, we have all pretty much been sitting in Satan's jail for some time. Alan Gerard Norman, Oklahoma as one of a number of meteorological meteorologist Littles, I want to start by saying thanks for having Jason and Dan from the Capital Weather Gang on the show occasionally. They're both great. I love the interest in the weather that Mr. Tony and the Gang have. I thought you'd be interested to know just how hot it was this past week in DC. The three day average temperature ending on Wednesday, June 25th was the fourth warmest three day June period on record in DC with an average temperature of 87.8 degrees. Average of the highs and lows from for each of those days records in Washington go back to 1872, so this is a pretty impressive feat. As Dan alluded to, the low temperatures were what were so unusual as the low only got down to 79 on both Tuesday and Wednesday of last week. Records for both dates. Interestingly, the fifth warmest three day June period on record in D.C. happened almost exactly a year ago ending on June 23, 2024. I took early retirement this spring as a NOAA meteorologist for the National Severe Storms Laboratory. So now I have more time to investigate and share information for life such as this. If Mr. Tony ever has meteorological questions and KIP is not available, I'm glad to oblige. I know Mr. Tony doesn't know what a substack is, but I've started a weather substack called Balanced Weather where I publish a daily weather newsletter and periodic features in a style that I hope is at least somewhat similar to the Capital Weather Gang, only with a more national focus. It can be found that balanced focus weather.substack.com for any bigs or Littles who would like to check it out. Thanks again for the years of fun and thoughtful conversation. That's lovely. People should do that. John Bruce in Bonnie Lake, Washington, Washington State Growing up, my father would grow chives and every now and then he would have me harvest those chives to add to some family dish. I don't particularly remember him growing anything else, so I must assume the chives were a specialty. In the 40 years since our I've never grown a chive in my life, but would often refer to myself, to my family and friends, as the son of a chive farmer. Now, with you growing potatoes for the first time, I'm willing to revive the family legacy. Grow some chives, harvest them, and when the time is right this fall, Buster, Oli and myself will come to D.C. and we can enjoy a sour cream and chive potato together. And then after, take a twirl around the harbor in your boat. It's a brilliant email. As a thank you for your hospitality, the next time you and Michael are in the Pacific Northwest around at Chambers Bay is on me. Let me know the expected date for the potatoes. I stand at the ready. Thanks Captain.
Nigel
How about that?
Tony Kornheiser
Great. Thank you to John Bruce. Jeffrey Turner he writes about the pomato. The pomato this? Wait, Nigel Crazy. The pomato is a real plant that grows tomatoes above ground and potatoes below. This grafted hybrid thrives in small gardens, allowing gardeners to harvest two crops from the same plant. Jeff Turner in western Florida writes, good luck. It is hard for both Nigel and I to believe this is a real thing.
Nigel
Real thing.
Tony Kornheiser
Apparently it is. That could have tomatoes on top, potatoes, potatoes on the bottom.
Nigel
Just doesn't seem feasible.
Tony Kornheiser
Seems inconceivable to us and we wouldn't know how to deal with it. Peter Jennings not that Peter Jennings. The second paragraph of my obit will begin with a reference to Kirsten oh's wonderful rendition of Where Are the Ties? I listen intently for lack of shopping option for new ties. Made my day. Your request justifies my refusal to downsize my necktie stockpile in spite of many requests from the woman I'm related to by marriage of 41 years. Suffice to say, I got you covered. I know I can match the mauve sport jacket perfectly. Quality product this time, not the individually wrapped in plastic 7 for $15 brand. Thanks again for the years of content, laughter and life advice. Thomas Olson Loma Linda, California Clearly Mets, president of baseball operations, is not a Little or a Big for that matter. He signed Colin Pooch after the Nats had the wisdom to part ways with him. Pooch entered the bottom of the eighth with the Pirates up four. Two runners on second, third, one out. Pooch did get the third out, but the Bucks had a 9 to 2 lead when Pooch was done. If only Stearns had listened to you.
Nigel
I think he has since been released.
Tony Kornheiser
Well, he's terrible. Mark Elliot, Prospect, Kentucky the woman to whom I'm related by marriage recently made several loaves of sourdough bread. The starter and accessories were given to her by a friend at work, so she felt somewhat obligated to give it a go. They all turned out quite well, although having the oven fired up to 500 degrees during our recent heat wave was a bit much. Anyway, we've all kind of had enough good as it was, and there is a heel piece left over, a perfect size to stick in your pocket. Let me know if you go to a ball game. Report your sister's concert anytime soon. I'll send it along. Happy to help. From George Melay I started doing weekly car reviews last late last winter. I thought he does everything. Yeah, he rides horses, he paints.
Nigel
The Renaissance man he is.
Tony Kornheiser
I started doing weekly car reviews late last winter in a segment we call the Cars We Drive. This week I reviewed my first Subaru. I would have been remiss had I failed to mention the Tony Kornheiser show. There's a brief exchange at the end of review during which Josh and I talk about you and Subaru. Perhaps of more importance, though, is that the review includes a clip of my 13 year old son's golf swing. Tell Michael Hope you have a moment to click on this. We will. Tim Clark, Fort Mill, South Carolina Whatever you do, don't take Chessy to the same groomer that trimmed your beard over the holidays. Greg Collins, Luka, Illinois Luke or maybe it's Iuka. Maybe it's Iuka, Illinois. The intern is on crutches after planting potatoes. Coincidence? I think not. Smacks of John Stumpy Peeps Bizarre gardening accident yeah, yeah, yeah. Chris Band sells Forest Hills, Maryland I live about 20 minutes from Bully Rock, so if you need a place to stay, just let me know. The view from our kitchen sink is outstanding and I'll make sure the grill is hot for you. What do you Want to make? P.S. it's been a quarter century since I moved out of the dmv, but I still read the Capital Weather Gang all the time. And from Joel Carver in Coralville, Iowa. I'm a truck driver for Coca Cola. I have yet to Overturn my semi, causing a massive traffic jam and knocking out utilities to a 15 block radius. Eat it, Pepsi.
Chris Cullen
Brilliant.
Tony Kornheiser
Brilliant. If you're out on your bike tonight, everyone is always do wear white. She may get woolly.
Chris Cullen
Doesn't get woolly.
Philip Martin
Young girls that do get woolly.
Tony Kornheiser
Weary idiots. No, shut up. Yeah.
Philip Martin
I was flirting with Madonna in a hotel in Marina Del Rey. I asked her to compare and contrast Peron and Pina. She told me all about the mock executions. And the IRA blew me a kiss over her shoulder as a publicist walked her away. Sonny Barger. He once told me I could ask him anything I love. After he got out of prison, I met him up in Altamont. We split a bottle of Oregon's finest in an Apple restaurant. When the Feds took my photo I tried to play it nonchalant Now I sit behind a screen with an excellent credit score the imposter syndrome Tucked away in a desk drawer it seems like everything I used to crave I don't want no more Just wish someone would tell me what the hell the money is for for now I sit behind a screen with an excellent credit score the impostor syndrome Tucked away in a desk drawer it seems like everything I used to crave I don't want no more Just wish someone would tell me what the hell the money is for I just need someone to tell me what the hell the money is for if there's a method to this madness I ain't smart enough to suss it out on your deathbed do you address all the regrets and the doubt does it all get wiped clean like you never been aware before does anybody ever tell you what the hell the money is for? Has anybody ever tell you what the hill the money is full well, I got the soul Buddy works at a golf discount store he used to be a teaching pro Played a little on a mini tour and his daddy was a ball turret gunner in the second world he says bourbon and that's what the money is for Bourbon and that's all the money's for well, I've never been so right that I thought I couldn't go wrong they could have had me any day I don't, I don't know why they let me go so long I guess I get to try again and pretend that I belong But I don't think Tony Cornhazard's ever gonna play this song no, I don't think Mr. Tony's ever gonna play this song if there's a method to this madness I ain't Smart enough to suss it.
Tony Kornheiser
Out.
Philip Martin
On your deathbed do you address all the regrets and the doubt does it all get wiped clean like you've never been aware before? Does anybody ever tell you what the hell the money is for? Billy was the singer he had hair like fair faucet could do all the Darrel hall parts on abandoned luncheonette Michael was the handsome one for a while he was your boyfriend and I was just the guy whose face was easy.
Tony Kornheiser
To forget we all were young and.
Philip Martin
Beautiful we were all over East Texas Highways are running thin and sketchy as a junkie's veins Remember the heat lightning throbbing on the riser Remember the Craig pie would play and the song remains the same Billy had an LTD Michael had a Porsche I had my grandma's Beetle But I was still too young to drive I thought I liked the Cuddy Sark we thought we were all outlaws it's something of a miracle we made it out alive and I never told my mama But I once was in a bar fight he came at me with a pool cue and I hit him with my keys and I was standing over him screaming bloody murder Shaking, laughing, crying all adrenaline release.
Michael Wilbon
High.
Philip Martin
School weren't as hard on me as it seems to have been on others maybe that's because I was just slow to understand and I could dunk a basketball when I was just a sophomore but only if I sprayed a little tough skin on my hands barely had nails TD Michael had a Porsche I had a Chevy Nova VA 355 I thought I like the cuddish arc we thought we were all outlaws Just like Tommy Smith on Magic 105 Now Billy is an engineer and Mike's our new attorney general and I'm living in a city and I'm tapping on my phone and our kids are off to college and you're sliding in my mansions and I never I thought you'd be the one who ended up alone.
Michael Wilbon
Billy had.
Philip Martin
An LTD Michael had a Porsche I had a Chevy Nova V8 355 I thought I liked the Cudde Sark we thought we were all outlaw Something of a miracle we made it out alive.
Podcast Summary: The Tony Kornheiser Show – Episode “Mean is Good”
Release Date: June 30, 2025
Title: “Mean is Good”
Host/Author: This Show Stinks Productions, LLC
In this episode titled “Mean is Good,” Tony Kornheiser engages with his co-hosts and guests to delve into various topics spanning sports, personal anecdotes, and humorous exchanges. The conversation seamlessly transitions between baseball, personal mishaps, and light-hearted banter, showcasing Tony’s signature blend of humor and insightful commentary.
Time Stamp: [00:00 – 02:26]
Tony introduces the main topics of the day, focusing on the comparison between Cal Rawley and Aaron Judge. He references a previous segment where he humorously discussed Cal Rawley's nickname “Big Dumper,” attributing it to his impressive physique.
Notable Quote:
Time Stamp: [02:26 – 08:24]
Tony shifts the conversation to Dave Sims, discussing his transition from broadcasting Seattle Mariners games to hosting Yankee games. The dialogue explores Dave’s foray into comedy, his experiences with bombing on stage, and the challenges of maintaining humor in live performances.
Notable Quotes:
Time Stamp: [08:24 – 18:48]
Tony shares personal stories about missing weddings, including those of Tim Ziegler and Jeff Bezos, highlighting the spontaneity and unpredictability of scheduling. Nigel recounts falling ill during a trip to Rehoboth Beach, detailing the complications of traveling while sick and the technical difficulties they faced setting up their equipment.
Notable Quotes:
Time Stamp: [18:48 – 19:35]
The conversation transitions to Tony’s experience at a golf course in Rehoboth Beach that has implemented eco-friendly measures by replacing single-use plastic water bottles with reusable, metallic tumblers. Tony humorously details his struggles with the new system, including forgetting his bottle and the frustration of ice not melting as expected.
Notable Quotes:
Time Stamp: [19:35 – 21:48]
While primarily focusing on content, snippets of sponsor interactions are briefly mentioned but largely skipped as per instructions. However, insights into how sponsors like GameTime and Simply Safe integrate into the show are noted.
Time Stamp: [23:30 – 51:32]
A substantial portion of the episode revolves around a conversation between Tony and Michael Wilbon about baseball achievements, specifically Aaron Judge surpassing 30 home runs before July and comparing his performance to Cal Rawley. They discuss the significance of these milestones, Judge’s impact on the Yankees, and his standing among legendary players.
Notable Quotes:
Time Stamp: [47:40 – 50:17]
Michael Wilbon shares his experiences transitioning from broadcasting Mariners games in Seattle to covering the Yankees in New York. He highlights the differences in fan engagement, travel logistics, and the vibrant atmosphere of Yankee Stadium compared to Seattle.
Notable Quotes:
Time Stamp: [50:16 – 51:32]
The hosts commend Tarek Scuba’s exceptional pitching performance, praising his skill and dominance on the mound. This segment underscores the impact of standout players in the game.
Notable Quotes:
Time Stamp: [52:07 – 61:34]
The show features a vibrant listener mailbag segment where Tony reads and responds to various listener emails. Topics range from personal anecdotes about gardening and family traditions to humorous stories about lost items and quirky inventions like the pomato. Additionally, Philip Martin performs a song titled “Something of a Miracle,” infusing the episode with creative and musical elements.
Notable Quotes:
Time Stamp: [67:08 – 70:03]
The episode wraps up with Tony summarizing key moments, expressing gratitude to guests Michael Wilbon and Dave Sims, and acknowledging the support from sponsors. The final moments maintain the upbeat and engaging tone characteristic of the show.
Overall Insights:
Conclusion: This episode of “The Tony Kornheiser Show” encapsulates the host’s ability to navigate diverse topics with wit and expertise. From analyzing baseball accolades to sharing personal mishaps and entertaining musical interludes, Tony delivers a compelling and enjoyable listening experience.