The Tony Kornheiser Show
Episode: “The check is in the mail”
Date: January 16, 2026
Episode Overview
In this lively episode, Tony Kornheiser and his studio crew explore everything from local DC bureaucracy woes to major sports news, NFL playoff analysis, listener stories, and the enduring difficulties of modern technology for "old guy" Tony. The episode features in-depth sports talk, especially the hiring of John Harbaugh by the New York Giants and NFL playoff picks from regulars Jason La Canfora, James Carville, and Jeff Ma. The camaraderie and banter, combined with classic TK gripes about modernity and bureaucracy, set the tone in an episode that starts with sports, veers into personal anecdotes, and always circles back to football, food, and fan mail.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Jury Duty and Life in DC (00:48–04:25)
- Michael returns from jury duty and provides a thorough rundown of the process in DC: advance notices, the "voir dire" process, and his own changing demographics as a juror.
- Quote [04:01]: "I have switched demos. The last time I was down there, I was a young professional... now I'm a father of three with a graying beard and thinning hair." – Michael
- Tony and the crew kvetch about the logistical hassles, lack of parking, and the pathetically small payment for jury duty.
- Quote [03:14]: "They pay you a ridiculously small amount of money for your time. It's like four or six dollars. Your transportation to and from is triple and quadruple." – Tony
2. The Dodgers’ Spending Spree and MLB Economics (04:25–06:05)
- Tony discusses the Dodgers’ acquisition of Kyle Tucker and frames the key MLB conversation: it's not about worth; it's about winning and smart franchise management.
- Quote [05:07]: "They have all the money and they spend it wisely. They don’t miss. ... Two World Series in a row. Champions. You’re gonna bet against them this year? You’d be crazy." – Tony
- The conversation touches on Ohtani's huge contract, admiration (not affection) for the Dodgers, and baseball's ongoing money debates.
3. Washington’s New Football Stadium (06:05–08:56)
- New renderings for a domed Washington football stadium are out, loaded with callbacks to the beloved RFK Stadium.
- Quote [06:38]: "The top, the flow of the top, looks like RFK. This is very deliberately done." – Tony
- Quote [07:36]: "The reverberations of 'We want Dallas.'" – Michael
- Nostalgia, design, and fan experience are front and center, but skepticism remains whether the new stadium can capture RFK's legendary "bouncing stands."
4. Tony’s Water Bill Odyssey: Technology Frustration (08:56–15:59)
- Tony narrates his failed attempt to pay a DC Water bill the old-fashioned way, facing late fees, unhelpful policies, banks urging online solutions (which he refuses), and postal glitches.
- Quote [10:38]: "I go, too old. Don’t understand it. Can't go online. They said, that’s all you can do or send us another check." – Tony
- Quote [13:40]: "This is disenfranchising a sizable amount of people in America who either can’t go online, or don’t know how."
- The gang riffs on mobile check depositing and how new payment methods baffle or unsettle the older generation.
- Quote [15:26]: "It was cold, and I didn’t want to walk to the bank, so I did the take-a-photo thing... it’s very spooky." – Michael
5. John Harbaugh to the Giants – NFL Coaching Carousel (Jason La Canfora Interview, 20:54–35:17)
Starts: 20:54
- Tony jumps right into "real sports" with Jason La Canfora, focusing on John Harbaugh's move from the Ravens to the New York Giants.
- Jason details why the Giants made sense for Harbaugh, the allure (and risk) of New York media, and the organizational dynamics likely to give him significant control.
- Quote [23:45]: "When’s the last time they had a full-fledged, bona fide, proven adult coach of the New York Giants? Tom Coughlin. ... This guy’s gonna get such a long leeway." – Jason La Canfora
- Discussion of the Giants’ recent woes, quarterback options (Jackson Dart’s upside), and Todd Monken’s critical role on Harbaugh’s staff.
- Quote [25:29]: "He’s bringing a lot of his bandwidth... it’s not like this is a complete reboot." – Jason
- Tony pushes back with recent Giants’ history:
- Quote [27:28]: "You’re not walking into managing the Yankees here. ... Other than Coughlin and Parcells, the Giants stink for the last 40 years. Not as bad as the Jets. Nobody is." – Tony
- Atlanta’s allure as an alternative, the influence of NFL ownership, and the state of the NFC East are all debated with sharp humor.
6. NFL Playoff Analysis & Picks (La Canfora, Carville, Ma; 35:17–51:42)
La Canfora’s Playoff Takes (30:16–35:17):
- Seattle is his best bet for the weekend ("I think Seattle wins this game, and I think it's a low-scoring game").
- On Houston: "The superpower in that game is Houston’s defense, and they’re built to win on the road."
- Rams’ fortunes hinge on Stafford’s finger, extreme cold: "If they don’t win, I think we already know it’s because balls are sailing and it’s even harder for Stafford to control it because of the weather and there’s something really messed up with his finger."
- Tony praises Jason's earlier coach predictions: "You had that right. Good for you."
James Carville & Jeff Ma Picks (36:38–51:42):
- Carville reflects on last week’s "rookie mistake" jinxing the Packers.
- Quote [37:04]: "All my fault. Like Lee after Gettysburg. It's all my fault." – Carville
- Carville’s picks:
- 49ers (+7) at Seattle ("Common sense contrarian bet").
- Over 48 Rams-Bears, Under Miami-Indiana college game.
- Jeff Ma breaks down the importance of "beating the closing line" in sports betting, and how one can take the right side and still lose ("If you beat the closing line, more often than not, you will win.").
- Jeff’s picks (NFL):
- Seahawks -7 vs. 49ers
- Broncos -1 vs. Bills
- Texans +3/+3.5 vs. Patriots ("That defense ... their ability to get pressure ... it's going to be a lot for Drake May.")
- Rams -3.5 vs. Bears
- College: Miami +8.5 vs. Indiana ("They had to inflate this line so much. ... betting is a market – when the market is high on someone, they're almost too high.")
7. Listener Mailbag: Astronaut Encounters & Little Community Updates (52:02–61:40)
Starts: 52:02
- Highlights include:
- Listeners share their encounters with astronauts, from John Glenn to Chris Hadfield.
- A tale of a listener’s father making the plaque left on the moon for Apollo 11.
- Quote [62:05]: "My father was the one who manufactured the plaque that currently sits on the moon."
- Community charity fundraising updates, golf tees designed by a French teenager, and events for "Littles" (the show’s dedicated fans).
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- Tony on Modern Bureaucracy [14:41]: "In this particular case, I did exactly what I’ve done for 100 years and did it with all good intentions. It didn’t get delivered. ... There’s no real mail anymore. There’s just junk mail and catalogs."
- On RFK Nostalgia [06:38]: "The flow of the top looks like RFK. This is very deliberately done ... consultations by the ownership and the architects." – Tony
- La Canfora [23:45]: "This guy’s gonna get such a long leeway. ... When he does mix it up with the media ... he understands people. He understands dynamics." – Jason La Canfora
- Carville [37:04]: "All my fault. Like Lee after Gettysburg. It's all my fault."
- Jeff Ma [41:50]: "If you beat the closing line, that’s typically how you evaluate your process. ... More often than not, you will win. It doesn’t mean you will win all the time."
- Listener Email [62:04]: "My father was the one who manufactured the plaque that currently sits on the moon. ... I vividly remember him showing me the blueprints."
- Fun Banter [08:44]: "It’s going to be there for four more years because this thing’s not going to get built till 2030. Doubt I’m going to make it." – Tony
Important Timestamps
| Time | Segment | |------------|--------------------------------------------------| | 00:48–04:25| Jury duty stories and DC logistics | | 04:25–06:05| Dodgers’ signing of Kyle Tucker and MLB finance | | 06:05–08:56| New DC stadium: design, nostalgia, and fan experience | | 08:56–15:59| Tony’s water bill debacle and tech complaints | | 20:54–35:17| Jason La Canfora: John Harbaugh to Giants, playoff talk| | 36:38–51:42| Picks with James Carville and Jeff Ma | | 52:02–61:40| Listener mailbag: astronaut stories, Littles’ community | | 61:40–end | Closing remarks, more listener stories |
Tone and Style
The show is classic Tony Kornheiser—a blend of affable grumpiness, communal nostalgia, and sharp, informed sports insight with an undercurrent of self-deprecating humor about age and change. The roundtable format, familiar guests, and the integration of personal stories make it accessible and warm for both longtime listeners and newcomers.
For New Listeners
This episode delivers all the signature elements of the Tony Kornheiser Show: wry cultural commentary, authentic gripes, real sports news, expert (and expert-ish) analysis, and a fierce devotion to the show's "Littles" fan community. You’ll laugh, you’ll nod in agreement (especially at Tony’s mail problems), and you’ll walk away with more knowledge about both sports and daily life. Avoiding newfangled payment apps is optional.
Additional Notes
- Ad reads and musical interludes are not summarized, per guidelines.
- The full mailbag segment and closing “astronaut” stories illustrate the deep connection between the show and its community—worth listening to in full for fans!