“The Land of Lost Toys”

Summary

The Tony Kornheiser Show: “The Land of Lost Toys” Summary

Release Date: January 22, 2025

Introduction

In the episode titled “The Land of Lost Toys,” Tony Kornheiser delves deep into the current state of the Washington Football Team, highlighting their remarkable journey to the NFC Championship game for the first time since their notable 1991 season. The show intertwines sports analysis with humor, listener interactions, and insightful discussions, offering both seasoned fans and casual listeners a comprehensive look into the team's resurgence.

NFL Picks: Chuck Todd vs. Reginald the Monkey

The episode kicks off with a playful segment where Chuck Todd engages in making NFL predictions against the ever-entertaining Reginald the Monkey.

Chuck Todd: “Where'd you get those shoes?”
Barry Zwerluga: “Easy.”
Chuck Todd: “They're from DSW...”

This lighthearted exchange sets the tone for the episode, blending sports talk with humor.

Washington Football Team’s Road to the NFC Championship

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to analyzing the Washington Football Team's impressive performance this season. Barry Zverluga joins the conversation to provide expert insights into the team's strategies, key players, and management decisions that have propelled them to the championship stage.

Key Discussions:

1. Jaden Daniels’ Impact

   Barry Zverluga emphasizes the pivotal role of rookie quarterback Jaden Daniels in the team's success.

   Barry Zverluga (02:15): “...Jaden Daniels gives them a chance every single time. He does not lose games. He has not lost the game.”

   Daniels' poise and preternatural ability have been instrumental in steering the team through tight matches, earning him comparisons to legendary quarterbacks.

2. General Manager Adam Peters’ Strategy

   The hiring of Adam Peters as General Manager marks a turning point for the team. Zverluga highlights Peters' extensive experience and his keen eye for talent acquisition.

   Barry Zverluga (49:15): “Adam Peters cut his teeth in New England under Scott Pioli and Bill Belichick... He has 20 plus years in the league as an evaluator, a talent guy.”

   Peters' strategic signings, including veteran linebacker Bobby Wagner, have fortified the team's defense, creating a well-rounded roster poised for success.

3. Coaching Synergy

   The collaboration between Head Coach Dan Quinn and Offensive Coordinator Cliff Kingsbury has fostered a cohesive and dynamic team environment.

   Barry Zverluga (47:47): “Kingsbury and Quinn looked at themselves, looked back at what they did, and said, well, that was a mistake. I can do that better.”

   This introspection and willingness to adapt have cultivated a winning culture within the team, setting the foundation for future triumphs.

4. Team Chemistry and Roster Moves

   Recent additions to the team have seamlessly integrated, enhancing both offensive and defensive plays.

   Barry Zverluga (51:53): “They signed for three years and $31 million from Carolina. Turns out he's like a disruptive linebacker, slash edge rusher. Had a real impact.”

   These strategic moves underscore the front office's commitment to building a resilient and competitive team.

Jury Duty Anecdotes

Interspersed with sports talk, Tony engages with the panel and listeners about their jury duty experiences, adding a relatable and humorous dimension to the show.

Tony Kornheiser (12:32): “I think everybody should do it once. Yeah, I mean, I was...”

These personal stories provide a lighthearted break from the intense sports discussions, fostering a sense of community among listeners.

Weather in Washington D.C.

A notable segment addresses the unusual polar vortex affecting Washington D.C., drawing parallels to other regions unaccustomed to heavy snowfall.

Tony Kornheiser (04:24): “There's snow in places in this country that cannot handle snow. Texas and Louisiana, New Orleans...”

The conversation touches on the infrastructural challenges posed by unexpected weather patterns, highlighting the resilience of the local community.

Listener Emails and Community Engagement

Throughout the episode, Tony reads and responds to listener emails, showcasing the show's interactive nature and the diverse perspectives of its audience.

1. Eric Ferguson from Syracuse, NY

   Eric shares his band’s music and expresses gratitude for the show's platform.

   Eric Ferguson (23:17): “My band, the Allen Fellows Project, recently recorded some of our songs...”

2. Annie from North Carolina

   Annie seeks parenting advice as she and her husband prepare for their first child.

   Annie (40:21): “Eli and I are about to become first time parents... What would you like to tell Annie about?“

3. Paul Strube from Martinez, CA

   Paul reminisces about memorable moments with the late Bob Uecker, underscoring the enduring legacy of beloved sports personalities.

   Paul Strube (61:28): “Over the past couple of days, I've heard so many great calls from big games...”

These interactions not only highlight the show's reach but also emphasize the strong bond between Tony and his listeners.

Washington Football Team’s Future Prospects

In a detailed analysis, Tony and Barry Zverluga explore the future trajectory of the Washington Football Team, contemplating their potential to secure a Super Bowl win.

Tony Kornheiser (52:26): “With good health, this is the start of a career that really could be something special.”

Key factors include sustained player performance, effective management, and the continuation of their winning strategies. The discussion also touches upon comparisons to historical team turnarounds, emphasizing the unprecedented nature of Washington's current success.

Closing Remarks

As the episode wraps up, Tony reflects on the team's journey and the collective hopes of the fanbase for sustained excellence.

Barry Zverluga (55:14): “There's no game they can't win.”

This optimistic outlook encapsulates the overarching theme of the episode: a testament to teamwork, strategic planning, and the unyielding spirit of the Washington Football Team.

Conclusion

“The Land of Lost Toys” serves as a comprehensive exploration of the Washington Football Team’s remarkable season, enriched by expert analysis, listener stories, and Tony’s signature blend of humor and insight. For fans eager to understand the dynamics behind the team’s success, this episode offers invaluable perspectives and an engaging narrative that celebrates sportsmanship and resilience.

Transcript

[Tony Kornheiser]

Hey, it's Tony. On today's show, Chuck Todd will call in to make his NFL picks against Reginald the Monkey. We'll also talk to Barry Zverluga about the Washington football team making into the NFC championship game for the first time since the bandwagon year 1991. But first, commerce. You're listening to the Tony Kornheiser show. Here's a riddle for you. What do yoga mats, a toothbrush and a Hyundai have in common? I'll give you a moment. Time's up. If you guess they're all fun, well designed, super useful, you guessed wrong. The answer is you can order all those things on Amazon. That's right, you can now buy a Hyundai on Amazon. The same place where you order yoga mats, a toothbrush and pretty much everything else, all from the comfort of your home. And the best part, you won't even have to break down a car sized Amazon box after because you'll pick up your Hyundai at the dealer. I mean, picture this. You're in your PJs, snuggled in on your couch. You pull up Amazon on your phone and you start the process right there. You locate a nearby dealer, pick your color, your options, check the price, and with a few dotting of some eyes and crossing of some T's, voila, Your Hyundai is ready for pickup. It's that easy. Just remember to put on some real clothes before you head over, will you? Hyundai now available on Amazon. Visit HyundaiUSA.com or call 562-314-4603 for more details. Limited availability only through participating Hyundai dealers in select markets.

[Chuck Todd]

Where'd you get those shoes?

[Barry Zwerluga]

Easy.

[Chuck Todd]

They're from dsw. Because DSW has the exact right shoes for whatever you're into right now. You know, like the sneakers that make office hours feel like happy hour, the boots that turn grocery aisles into runways, and all the styles that show off the many sides of you, from daydreamer to multitasker and everything in between. Because you do it all in really great shoes. Find a shoe for every you at your DSW store or dsw.com.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Previously on the Tony Kornheiser Show. He didn't like to eat alone, so go eat with him. And Josh Maurer said all the time. All the time. Go eat with him. And Josh Maurer said this is the greatest thing that ever happened in his life. He gets to sit with Bob Ucher and eat dinner all the time.

[Reginald the Monkey]

And they treat us as a burden. You get stuck with this kid. You kidding me? What an amazing, amazing thing sure.

[Nigel]

There are a lot of lulls in the conversation.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Josh Maurer]

Yeah.

[Reginald the Monkey]

You really did have just struggled to tell the story.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Well, I'm sure Josh just said, and. And just like that. This is General George Washington, and you're listening to the Tony Kornheiser show. What is it? Our microphone doesn't work. The microphone fell down. Let me hold the microphone for the open. Don't worry about it. And then you can fix it after that. So I didn't. Yeah, so I didn't know that was going to be the open of the show. And coincidentally, I got a call from Josh Maurer yesterday, who had heard it and wanted to tell me how happy he was to have heard that and to say, you have no idea how great it was to sit with Bob Uecker all this time. He says he's the funniest human being he has ever met. And it was just great. His life was so much better having known and sat at dinner with Bob Uecker. This is like a hundred times a year. And now, I mean, he's gonna continue to do the broadcasts, you know, and there's a great sadness about it, but there's also. People loved Euchre so much. And what Josh said was, you don't even know because you don't listen, because these are Milwaukee broadcasts. He was a great baseball broadcaster. He didn't just do stories like, he played the game, understood the game, understood all the strategies all the time, and Maurer was just so thrilled to do that. Anyway, we are, for those of you who don't know this, we are involved in a polar Vortex in Washington, D.C. but a lot of you people know this because I've told. I'm told and I've looked at pictures. There's snow in places in this country that cannot handle snow. Texas and Louisiana, New Orleans, they don't have snow machines like every. You know, there's a certain latitude above which you have snow machines.

[Nigel]

We'll wait for the sun for this one.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah. And they. And they. There's nothing they can do. It's. They can't drive in it. They're flying ways. Yeah.

[Mike Grandle]

I mean.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Mike Grandle]

I don't think it snowed there in 50 years.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah. I was once in a snow in South Florida, a snow that had piled up to about 3 inches, and it was gone the next day. See, this is the other thing. It ain't gone here in Washington, D.C. no. We are under 20 as the high in Reading. The Capital Weather Gang, they are projecting the lowest high in 10 years, like 16, 18 or something like that. But in places like Texas and New Orleans, when the polar vortex retreats, as it invariably will. Because if it. It didn't, they'd have snow machines. Right. If it didn't as. And it will retreat quickly, and then everything will be gone.

[Reginald the Monkey]

Pensacola.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Nigel]

Rock and roll.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I took pictures of the snow in Florida. It's got to be 35, 40 years ago, and everybody's wearing heavy coats. And I'd come down from the north, so I had a heavy with me. It's the middle of the winter, but they, you know, they don't have the Olympics coat. No, no, no. It's before the Olympics, it was in the 80s. They don't have it. They don't have the equipment.

[Nigel]

Judging by your street, we don't have the equipment either.

[Mike Grandle]

What is the deal with your street?

[Barry Zwerluga]

You need to gate the worst of the house.

[Mike Grandle]

I mean, it's the worst street.

[Tony Kornheiser]

It is for people who.

[Mike Grandle]

In Washington, D.C. an ice rink up there.

[Tony Kornheiser]

That's all it is. And when I walk the dog and I. And I get to the street, I am so careful because every step, you could break your hip, and then you're done.

[Reginald the Monkey]

Do you have.

[Mike Grandle]

You wear those? Always When I'm outside.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I wear the crampons when I'm outside. Yeah. There's two things that I have that I recommend to everyone out there. They have been recommended to me. The people who recommended to me. Thank you. You are dear people. Lined pants and crampons for your shoes. Our street is the worst. It's. It's solidized. But I will.

[Nigel]

I will say, like, I'm gearing up for the JV varsity game in Muddy Ducks 3, you know, well.

[Mike Grandle]

And it's a hill, too.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yes, Terrible. No, it's really terrible. And they should get here. The city should get here and do chance. That's really bad. But I will say this, that the streetlights on my street and the adjoining street were out. And I called up three days ago, and I was treated like, yeah, sure. Do you want my name? No, no, I am, you know. No, wasn't that. I mean, it was my address, my. No, don't worry about it. And then I got an email back that said it would be done in seven to 10 business days, which is like never.

[Mike Grandle]

That's like a month in real time.

[Tony Kornheiser]

But the next day it was done. So somebody. I called back a second time.

[Nigel]

Thank you.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I did. Well, I'm saying it now on the air. The next day it was done. I called back a second time and said, look, I had this experience yesterday and I don't know if anybody took me seriously or not. And then in a day it was done. So I was grateful for that. So let's get to a couple of.

[Reginald the Monkey]

Other section email on a 311 regarding.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Your 311 call concerning the off streetlights. The reason I didn't need to take your address is because the 311 system is built on Salesforce. I'm sure you have no idea what Salesforce is, and this won't really help, but it's what Matthew McConaughey is selling in those commercials where he's sitting outside a restaurant in the rain with the wrong food while Woody Harrelson laughs at him. Anyway, the system already has all of the District addresses in it, and they can. When you call, they can match from your phone number. Also, because it was a neighborhood issue, it would automatically be matched with other reports. So they could probably tell you right away that they knew about it already. They should have given you a case number, but that's just a customer service issue because you involved a human. If you'd logged a report on the website, the computer would have given you the number. I assure you I worked at the company that implemented the DC311 system as well as for other jurisdictions around the country. Only played a tiny role, but my business partner worked on it a lot. Could our company, Lot 48 Consulting, be the official Salesforce Consulting partner of the Tony Kornheiser show? Also, Soliza's daily YouTube videos are great, but he can still eat it. Oh, that's fair. Nick's bag there. Excuse me. Mike Grandle.

[Mike Grandle]

Great potential. Name the Salesforce Weasels. That would be an amazing.

[Tony Kornheiser]

So I have watched those McConaughey commercials with Harrelson, which are delightful. It's always great when McConaughey gets splashed with water. They're delightful. But of course, I had absolutely no idea what they were selling. I did. None whatsoever.

[Mike Grandle]

Did you know he's a commander's guy?

[Nigel]

Oh, yeah.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Oh, sure. Why did you. Did I know it? He used to be in the locker room for Monday night right after the games when I was trying to work. And he would be there wrapping up Charles. Man, when I needed to talk to Charles. No, it was. Look, he's a real fan. He's been a fan his whole life.

[Mike Grandle]

He's a legit fan because of his stupid UT fandom. And he's always wearing that leather coat on the sidelines.

[Tony Kornheiser]

There are other people who are affiliated with the show who don't like him either, you know. Yes, yes. But I will say that I had a lot of difficulty with him in the locker room. It wasn't that he was obnoxious or anything like that. He was in the way. I don't think he understood the work that was attempted to be done.

[Mike Grandle]

Let the man do his job.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah. And I think if. And I didn't know him, he wasn't a big star then. And I didn't ever go up to him and say, hey, get out of here. I didn't do that. That would have been great. I had hoped that the Washington team's PR people would have done that, but they didn't do that. But, you know, I don't begrudge him. He's a fine actor.

[Nigel]

He has an insane tuna salad recipe that's been making the rounds on.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Is it good?

[Nigel]

It's got, like, jalapeno crisps in it. It looks insane.

[Mike Grandle]

He lives his best life. I mean, I guess, you know, And.

[Tony Kornheiser]

And is it Tropic Thunder that he's in where. I like him. I do. I like him in Tropic Thunder.

[Reginald the Monkey]

TiVo.

[Mike Grandle]

He was amazing and true detective.

[Tony Kornheiser]

He's a great.

[Mike Grandle]

I can't see how he's just on the sideline like.

[Tony Kornheiser]

He's a damn coach. It's always so. This is great. Mike Grandel. So that was great. Thank you for giving me that. So let's talk. Nigel, you had jury duty.

[Reginald the Monkey]

I did.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Which is unusual for somebody who's not actually a citizen. Yeah.

[Reginald the Monkey]

I tried to explain that to them. I said, I'm not from here.

[Mike Grandle]

This is the Trump administration. Things are different.

[Tony Kornheiser]

What happened?

[Reginald the Monkey]

Chessy is trying to eat the food in my bag.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Stop it, Jesse. Good Lord.

[Reginald the Monkey]

She found a candy bar. A protein bar.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I had met all the food.

[Mike Grandle]

Was it a protein bar or a candy bar? Nigel, be honest.

[Reginald the Monkey]

A protein bar. Rise. Protein. So, yes.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Deal.

[Mike Grandle]

They're delicious.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yes.

[Reginald the Monkey]

I believe it's the same protein used by the US Skating teams.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Sure.

[Reginald the Monkey]

Something like that. But, yeah. It's never fun to have to deal with it, but it's an honor to be a part of that process.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Have you ever been on a jury?

[Reginald the Monkey]

No, I have. You have. And I know Michael has one of.

[Nigel]

The worst experiences of my adult life.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Oh, I was so happy to have done it.

[Nigel]

I have never lost more faith.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Barry Zwerluga]

Oh, my gosh.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I was. The guy that was. That we were adjudicating was dead stone guilty. And it didn't take long. And everybody. Not everybody.

[Nigel]

What year was this?

[Tony Kornheiser]

I'd say eight to Ten years ago, death penalty or. No, no, no. It was a drug situation and the evidence was obvious. I mean, he was totally guilty. 12 people. There were two women who held out for a while.

[Mike Grandle]

Really?

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, yeah. They had sympathy for him, but the men on the jury said, well, I was.

[Reginald the Monkey]

I was trying to tell people. I was like, I wonder if this would be a 12 angry men situation. Nobody got the reference. I was like Henry Fonda, you know, Jack Warden. And so.

[Tony Kornheiser]

But you didn't get chosen.

[Reginald the Monkey]

Didn't get chosen. Got picked for a very large jury pool. There were 80 of us that they had to voir dire. Yeah. And they got to me.

[Tony Kornheiser]

How many times did you. Were. You asked questions on voir dire.

[Reginald the Monkey]

So what they did was they asked 17 questions before to the whole.

[Nigel]

Before they bring you up.

[Reginald the Monkey]

And. Yeah, and you write on a card, and if you say yes to any of them, you write that number of the question down. So I just had one question number that I answered yes to.

[Mike Grandle]

Are you not an American citizen?

[Tony Kornheiser]

Do you favor the death penalty for small traffic court violations?

[Reginald the Monkey]

They didn't appreciate when I stood up and I said, God save the king. I don't think I appreciated that. And then they let half of the people. We're not gonna need you till later today. Just go and come back.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Right.

[Reginald the Monkey]

And I was in the first.

[Tony Kornheiser]

If you don't get chosen by 2:00, they usually let you go.

[Reginald the Monkey]

Well, or if they haven't completed the.

[Tony Kornheiser]

One year, one day, one trial. Right.

[Reginald the Monkey]

Well, they can hold you over. They haven't completed the voidier process, so there was at least a possibility that I would have had to go back this morning.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I think everybody should do it once. Yeah, I mean, I was. I have to say, I was amazed they chose me for a jury. Yeah, sure, I was amazed. And I was, you know, as long as I had to be there, I was gratified. I've gone two or three other times now. I'm too old. They don't even call me anymore. But I've gone two or three other times where I was not picked. Although a couple of lawyers wanted to talk to me afterwards about sports questions. But I wasn't picked. You did not like it.

[Nigel]

I did not like that. I did not like it. It was the mishandling of the case by the judge. It was the lawyer for the defendant. It just. It ended up being a mistrial and it was a big waste of money for everyone involved. They picked two women who were into their ninth month of pregnancy to sit on this jury. Five plus days.

[Tony Kornheiser]

They can't do it.

[Nigel]

They would have these abrupt starts and stops. You know, you had another juror who just said, I will never vote this way to agree with you. And you go, well, this is just great. This is, this is going nowhere.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah. Did you ever go, did you ever. On course, no.

[Mike Grandle]

No one would trust me with judging them.

[Tony Kornheiser]

No.

[Mike Grandle]

I have been called when I lived in DC, but never even called when I been living in Virginia. So many people a decade now.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, it's so many people.

[Mike Grandle]

But yeah, D.C. you get called every three or four years. And I went to. Yeah, and I went. But I was never even part of a pool. I just sat there for like four hours and then I left.

[Nigel]

But normally now you, you call in the night before to see if they even need you, right?

[Reginald the Monkey]

Yeah, it is and it's very depressing.

[Mike Grandle]

Is it the Indiana Avenue one, Nigel?

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, it's freezing, by the way. It's freezing in Washington D.C. it was 12. It's really cold. It's like Washington. I mean, in the last 15 to 20 years, the Washington climate has more approximated Atlanta than it has New York City. And that's why they are changing grasses on a lot of golf courses. Because it's a different. It's a different climate. It ain't different this year. This is cold. This is. It doesn't get over freezing again. The street that I'm on is in fact a skate. It's very dangerous. Very dangerous. If you're old, you fall, you break a hip, you're done. They never got to it, you know. Anyway, golf was on last night. Did you watch Michael TGO?

[Nigel]

I was in the bedtime routine. So these 7 o'clock starts are tough for me.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I watched.

[Nigel]

I made it back just in time to see the new commercial for Tiger woods approved launch monitor. I think it's called Flightscope, which more and more this seems like just one big command.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Well, yeah, it is, totally. It's simply a commercial. You could not be more. ESPN could not be more thrilled to promote it, you know, because espn, where I work is in the television business. Kids, they're trying to get ready, trying to get eyeballs. It outrated last week with Tiger, it outrated the two TNT basketball games.

[Mike Grandle]

Everybody watches basketball, Tone.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Nobody. Not to the end.

[Nigel]

So you middle school boys, have they watched any of the tgl?

[Tony Kornheiser]

I don't even know what it is, okay?

[Nigel]

Because it feels like every adult influencer has been down in Palm Beach. It is with the gear doing the video.

[Tony Kornheiser]

It is now for me It. It is background music for me, background noise. And I look up occasionally and I see what's going on. I like. I don't care when they hit into the screen. I like to see where it drops, but I don't care. I like when they putt because they miss.

[Nigel]

Yes.

[Tony Kornheiser]

They miss more than they ever miss on the golf course. And that humanizes them, makes me happy. Justin Thomas is a very good talker. Patrick Cantley doesn't say anything to anyone. Why is he on a team?

[Nigel]

That is his thing. He's playing the part of Patrick Cantley. So I'm more interested right now. Justin Thomas just penned a memo that he sent out to the players. He's been involved with some, you know, player advisory committee with the TV partners about how players are recommended to show their personality.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Nigel]

And then the danger of that is, what if you show them everything and people don't like what they see?

[Reginald the Monkey]

Or.

[Tony Kornheiser]

That's certainly possible. This is not real golf. I believe that it should be fully different than real golf because it's not real golf. I don't care who. I don't know the names of teams. Don't care where at the end somebody actually said. And at the end they take home the, you know, the beloved Sofi cup. And I just. Look, nobody knows what this is like the Emirates. Nobody cares.

[Reginald the Monkey]

We honor tradition.

[Mike Grandle]

Would you watch if they played pros? Played a really cool mini golf course. Does that interest you?

[Tony Kornheiser]

Sure, I would. As long as they chat. Yeah. As long as they chat. Patrick Cantley doesn't chat. Cam Thomas. Cam. What's his name? Cam Young.

[Nigel]

Last night, Cameron Young.

[Tony Kornheiser]

He didn't talk. You gotta talk different. You gotta talk.

[Nigel]

So right now, the most successful thing in golf has been golf influencers on YouTube. If they did something with this, with this list of pros versus these very engaging. Of, you know, younger.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Totally.

[Nigel]

It would feel very insider, but it'd be very dangerous because you'd realize, actually people don't really care if you're, you know, the. The point.0001 top percent golfer in the world. They want camaraderie. They want to feel like they're eavesdropping into what feels like a private conversation.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Not in the. Not in PGA Tours. Yeah. Yeah, the PGA Tour. I want to see the shots.

[Nigel]

Correct.

[Reginald the Monkey]

Yeah.

[Nigel]

I would be happy if it felt like you were just watching a couple guys who, who booked a sweet simulator bar, restaurant, room, and you just got to hang out with them as they did challenges and had other sports playing in the background.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Can I tell you. One other thing. You'll enjoy this. Who's Tiger's playing next week, right?

[Nigel]

Tdubs?

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah. And Rory both.

[Barry Zwerluga]

Yeah.

[Tony Kornheiser]

You know who's going? Who got a ticket?

[Nigel]

Alan, the socialite.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Of course Alan's going to go.

[Reginald the Monkey]

Of course he is.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Alan's going to go to the team.

[Mike Grandle]

Talk about McConaughey living his best life. The socialite lives a fantastic. Holy moly.

[Tony Kornheiser]

By the way, for those of you keeping track of the Wizards, once again they lost last night. Once again they lost by double figures. And I'm sure there'll be a silver lining that you'll be able to latch on.

[Reginald the Monkey]

What position in the playoffs are they now?

[Tony Kornheiser]

They're out of the playoffs now. They're the worst team in the league. And if you watch them play even for 15 minutes, you realize they are ill matched. That whoever put the team together, Michael Winger, the GM doesn't have anyone who can play with the others. No, they don't. They're. And their most valuable player, the Valentinus in these. Valuable because he can bring something. Because he can be traded and help another team. He will be traded, sure. Kyle Kuzma will be traded. Oh, yeah. They have nothing. They have. They are the land of lost toys.

[Mike Grandle]

6 and 36.

[Tony Kornheiser]

They're so terrible. They have no idea what they're doing. You just can't say. We're going to get draft choices for 20, 29.

[Nigel]

That'd be a great promo night to get people in the arena.

[Tony Kornheiser]

You have to. How much Toy Story, how much those tickets are, how much they charge for these tickets. And they're putting this thing out on the floor.

[Mike Grandle]

Bilal Koulibaly had 17 last night to.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, but the night before he probably had four. He shot two for 11. If you follow the box scores, the up and down to it is remarkable. There's no. No steady anything. All right. Chuck Todd. That's right. He's going to finish over 500. He's only got three more games. He can bet.

[Mike Grandle]

Limping to the finish line.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Okay, but he's going to finish. If you bet with him all year you made money. Chuck Todd. When we return, I'm Tony Kornheiser.

[Chuck Todd]

This is the Tony Kornheiser show.

[Tony Kornheiser]

The Tony Kornheiser show. This is the Rosetta Stone. Reed. It's a new year, so how about a new you? If that's what you're aiming for, then don't just settle for something like shaving your beard off. Go big or go home. Learn a new language like Korean, Greek, or Russian. And there's no better way to learn a new language than with Rosetta Stone. They've been a trusted expert for 30 years with millions of users in 25 languages offered. Utilizing fast language acquisition, Rosetta Stone immerses you in many ways. There are no English translations, so you really learn to speak, listen and think in that language. Plus, it's convenient with desktop and app options and an audio companion that gives you the ability to download lessons offline. Best of all, it's an amazing value. Lifetime Membership gives you all 25 language courses Rosetta Stone offers for 50% off, which is a steal. People start the new year off with a resolution you can reach today. Listeners to this high quality podcast can take advantage of this. Rosetta Stones lifetime membership for 50% off visit rosettastone.com Tony that's 50% off. Unlimited access to 25 language courses for hello, the rest of your Life. Redeem your 50% off@Rosetta Stone.com Tony Today you are listening to the Tony Kornheiser Show. This is the Rocket Money read. You know what's annoying? When you sign up for something, forget about it. After the trial period ends, then you're charged month after month after month. The subscriptions are there, but you're not using them.

[Nigel]

I hope they forget about it too.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, they don't forget about it. Did you know that 85% of people have at least one paid subscription going unused each month? Thanks to Rocket Money, you can see all of your subscriptions in one place. Cancel the ones you're not using anymore, and now you're saving more money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. We were introduced to this about a year ago. Yeah. And I said at the time, this is a really good idea. It's a really good idea. Now I see all the television commercials because it's a really good idea.

[Reginald the Monkey]

When they walk up to the people, they say, how much do you think you're spending each month? And it's always like 10 times higher than they think it is.

[Tony Kornheiser]

See all of your subscriptions in one place and know exactly where your money is going. For ones you don't want anymore, Rocket Money can help you cancel them. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all of the app's premium features. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your Financial goals faster with rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com Tony Kay today. That's RocketMoney.com TonyK RocketMoney.com TonyK Use that code. You're listening to the Tony Kornheiser show. This is sent to us from Eric Ferguson says greetings from Syracuse, New York, where we are fans of all things orange. My band, the Allen Fellows Project, recently recorded some of our songs as extensively for the purpose of sharing them with our families and friends. Nuts to that. I wanted to send them to you for listening pleasure. And if any of your esteemed listeners want to hear more Allen Fellows Project, we are on Spotify, Bandcamp and Instagram. Don't worry, we have plans to put some songs on vinyl in the near future so you can fire up that Victrola. Signed Eric Ferguson, who writes my best to Lace. Oh, so it's good. What up, Eric? This is called. What is it called?

[Reginald the Monkey]

Appropriate Enough Winter Clothes.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Winter clothes. Which we need. Yes. Boy, oh, boy. We need line pants. Plays in Chuck Todd. Chuck is, to a degree, limping to the finish line. 2 and 3 yesterday. Lost the last game. Lost the Ohio State game. 68, 53 and 3. So that's plus 15. There's only three games left to bet, unless Chuck wants to do prop bets. You've had a great year. I know the finish isn't what you want, so you sort of like the Detroit Lions, but you've had a great year. Right.

[Josh Maurer]

I feel all right about it. With a clock. You know, the clock. I was kind of hoping Ohio State was just going to run out the clock there at the end. They were sitting at that 8. You're sitting there going, what are they going to do? Yeah, they'll give the ball back. Like, God, can they run out the clock? I'm sure me and everybody else who was holding that, that eight and a half. Nine. Nine and a half ticket. Because I think it was nine and a half earlier in the week.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, but it finished 11.

[Josh Maurer]

But it did.

[Tony Kornheiser]

And Ohio State covered. Ohio State covered.

[Josh Maurer]

And they did. And Ryan Day gets to avoid being fired for two years.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I don't know if he loses to Michigan.

[Mike Grandle]

I mean, the game is Michigan next year.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I don't know. I mean, I don't know. It's a very interesting thing to me that Ryan Day's record at Ohio State is 70 and 10. It's apparently the second greatest winning percentage of all time. Yeah, not at Ohio State anywhere. 7. Cooper.

[Josh Maurer]

Was it John Cooper that they fired?

[Tony Kornheiser]

They fired never.

[Josh Maurer]

Who never did worse than 9 and 2.

[Tony Kornheiser]

It was fabulous.

[Josh Maurer]

He was like.

[Tony Kornheiser]

He lost to Michigan like five times.

[Reginald the Monkey]

Yeah, every time.

[Tony Kornheiser]

So I mean, this. These blood rivalries, they mean so much. It's so disproportionate that I think if he lost next year, you know, he's not. He's not the most charming fellow. He's not the best talker. You know, it's not that he's difficult. He doesn't yell at people like Brian Kelly, but he's not a guy that you feel anything for. You don't feel great sympathy.

[Josh Maurer]

Not a lot of college football coaches that win are like that. They're usually bigger personalities. The fact that he's not is kind of surprising because you would assume you've got to own the living room. Right.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Smaller than life, wouldn't you say? Smaller than my Friday, but how about 70 and 10? But, you know. So, anyway. All right, what do you got?

[Josh Maurer]

They have receivers. They have. Every one of those receivers is going to be playing on Sunday.

[Tony Kornheiser]

That's right. Every. That's right. They're great. They're great. And. And Chip Kelly called the. When? Look, if. If in 18 minutes you score four touchdowns against the team with one loss, that's in the championship game, you score four touchdowns in 18 minutes, somebody knows what he's doing. And that Will Howard kid was. Was. He was totally great.

[Reginald the Monkey]

Yeah, he's great.

[Tony Kornheiser]

All right, I got games for you. Let's do it. Washington plus six at Philadelphia. I will. I want you to talk about this, but I will say this. And I have not felt this way all year. I think they're going to win. I think Washington's going to. I didn't. I picked Tampa Bay. I picked Detroit, so. And I was wrong. Maybe I'll be wrong again, but I think Washington's going to win this game outright. What do you think?

[Josh Maurer]

Well, I don't know if we're all just a little drunk. Right. On Washington, you know, Meaning you're sort of feeling it and all of that stuff, because on paper, you don't bet on Daniels here.

[Barry Zwerluga]

Right.

[Josh Maurer]

There's so many things working against the commanders that. That are. This would be their fourth straight road game, believe it or not.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, I believe that.

[Josh Maurer]

Extraordinarily difficult to do that. There's a trend. It's like when you're in your fourth straight road game in a playoff game, you're like one in five.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Okay, okay.

[Josh Maurer]

You know, they've got. You've got the whole rookie quarterback. Right. Never making it to the Super Bowl. Right. You have all of these things, working against them. Even I read somewhere even the hockey's kid is going to be the referee. And apparently the Eagles have never lost when he's been the lead referee because.

[Tony Kornheiser]

He lifts weights with them before the game to get those guns he and.

[Josh Maurer]

Big Dom are always lifting together.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Josh Maurer]

So I want to be. I want to be at the commanders here. I'm with you there. I don't. I just feel like Cinderella. Pumpkin. Okay, that is just a year too soon.

[Mike Grandle]

Please tell me you guys saw the mayor of Philadelphia spelling Eagles incorrectly.

[Tony Kornheiser]

No.

[Reginald the Monkey]

Oh, yeah.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Oh. How did you spell it?

[Mike Grandle]

It's a woman.

[Tony Kornheiser]

How did she spell it?

[Mike Grandle]

E, L, G. What?

[Tony Kornheiser]

L, E, S. That's like Stu Virginia. It's like that commercial.

[Mike Grandle]

It is. I will show it to you on the Internet.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Maybe she was going for Eagles.

[Nigel]

No, she wants to be a good bed.

[Mike Grandle]

I think she just got a little. Got a little turned around.

[Josh Maurer]

Are you allowed to tell jokes making fun of West Virginia and not spelling on national tv? Like, I'm surprised that that isn't, like, playing to that stereotype at one point.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I hadn't thought of that. Yeah, I thought of that. It's a pretty good commercial. Yeah. I don't know what it's selling, but it's pretty good.

[Mike Grandle]

It's like the Salesforce commercial, the McConaughey commercial.

[Josh Maurer]

Insurance, right? Usually if the ads are entertaining, they're selling you insurance.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Maybe that's. Oh, by the way, I forgot to say this. This week's picks with Chuck Todd and Reginald the Monkey are brought to you by FanDuel Sportsbook. Make every moment more. I forgot that I like my double bonus on this. Yeah. All right. All right. Buffalo at Kansas City. We've seen this before. You know, Buffalo doesn't win in the playoffs. Nobody beats. It's just true. Nobody beats Mahomes in the playoffs. You can go back, you can see he's won three Super Bowls, he's gotten to four, he's on the Brady pace. Who knows if that will happen? Because that's such an outlier. Brady was so great. But we've seen this Josh Allen in the previous game against Baltimore, Josh Allen was totally efficient. Never threw the ball more than 5 yards in the air. It didn't seem they wanted to possess the ball, kill the clock. They did all these things. There's a great statistic that I was given about the Baltimore Ravens, and I thought Baltimore would win. The great statistic is they've won 78 games in the last seven years in the history of the NFL. No team has won that many games in that period of time and not gotten to the Super Bowl. And they haven't gotten to the soup. They haven't gotten the Super Bowl. That's last. They have now last week's news.

[Josh Maurer]

They have now Baltimore, meaning won all those games without getting to a Super Bowl.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Right? Yeah.

[Josh Maurer]

Now we have that team.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, that's right. Which is what I was going to say to you that you've given me a lot of history on why Washington can't win. But when you know all it takes is one game for them to win and then the history changes.

[Mike Grandle]

Sounds like Chuck's talking analytics.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Hocus pocus junk like Wilbourne. Buffalo plus two at Kansas City.

[Josh Maurer]

Well, plus two. I mean that's not a lot of confidence in the Chiefs.

[Tony Kornheiser]

No, no.

[Josh Maurer]

That is a surprisingly. That's basically the home field and that's it there.

[Barry Zwerluga]

I.

[Josh Maurer]

The way you feel about the Commanders. I just, I don't have a. All of the, you know, don't bet against Mahomes, blah, blah, blah, all those things. Yet there's something. I just feel like the Bills are going to break through.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Really.

[Josh Maurer]

They've. Because nobody believes in them. Here they are only two point underdogs and yet it seems like 30. Right?

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yes.

[Josh Maurer]

I mean think about what you just. How you just reacted. It's a two point. You're going. You really think the Bills can win and you're like the two point spread. But it feels that.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Well, it's not, it's not that I don't think they can win at any given time. It's that nobody beats this guy there and they don't beat this guy there. Right here.

[Josh Maurer]

Here's what I keep thinking about. Even Eli Manning beat Brady twice.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yes. With great luck. With great luck.

[Josh Maurer]

Even Peyton Manning finally beat Brady. Right. Took six or seven years. Right. We're getting there now with Josh Allen. Right. We're getting to that sort of. If not now, win and all of that. I. I guess I just look at this and it's like a Chiefs, Eagle, Super Bowl. We already kind of had it.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Right?

[Josh Maurer]

Like what's the weird Super Bowl? You're going Commander's Chiefs, aren't you?

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Josh Maurer]

You're going Commander's Chiefs. I'm just.

[Tony Kornheiser]

You're saying Eagles, Buffalo.

[Josh Maurer]

Young. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. Chiefs, Chiefs, Eagles, Eagles, Buffalo in this one.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Eagles, Buffalo.

[Josh Maurer]

Because you look at it, if you think Buffalo is going to win it all, there's something about them beating the. Feels like the beaten Eagles is the. Is the better opponent for them. I wouldn't want to face the command. If the commanders get through this, then it might be we have our own Patrick Mahomes right here in Washington.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah. Yeah. That's what it's going to feel like.

[Josh Maurer]

I'd say legend is going to. That. That is going to be. You know, I mean, that is sort of the way people felt about Burrow. That first year that he went, you thought, oh, my goodness, this guy's going to be the next Brady.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Well, he. Okay. But to be fair, Joe Burrow and is Patrick Mahomes best football player. Joe Burrow is the best quarterback. He's the best quarter. You would. You would take him over anybody, would you? Not Joe Burrow.

[Josh Maurer]

I think so, but, you know, I'm not going to. That's not obvious against Lamar. That's not obvious against Josh Allen because.

[Tony Kornheiser]

His defense is killing him. His defense stinks. You know, they're scoring 35 and losing games. They, like have four games where they scored 35 plus and lost the games.

[Josh Maurer]

So it's an astonishing stat.

[Tony Kornheiser]

It's really amazing. Yeah. All right. So that's.

[Josh Maurer]

I just. Maybe it's just because I want to see the Bills do this.

[Tony Kornheiser]

No, it's understandable. They had.

[Josh Maurer]

I used to say I was contractually obligated to pick the Bills. You know, that's part of.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Well, sure, I understand that, but I mean, they. They had the best run ever. They went four straight years and lost them all. That's like, really, you know, I think everybody would root for them to win a Super Bowl. Everybody of a certain age who knows the history.

[Mike Grandle]

Like, they're so easy to root for.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Mike Grandle]

Yeah.

[Josh Maurer]

I mean, you know, come on. I will. I confess. I put a bet on this, which obviously is dead, but the whole Lions bill Super bowl was just enticing because somebody.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Somebody was going to win. And it's going to be gratifying in that one.

[Mike Grandle]

I mean, does anyone want to see the Chiefs win again? If you don't live in Kansas City, like, they've won plenty.

[Josh Maurer]

I don't know. Mike Taylor, can I just tell you?

[Tony Kornheiser]

Taylor Swift.

[Josh Maurer]

Taylor Swift, loving daughter.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Josh Maurer]

Sitting there going, well, dad, can I go to the Super Bowl? I'm like, you were super fan. You know, as if, like, she's been raised this cheap. She went through the horrible Bill Kenny years and really wants to be, you know, really wants, like, come on.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Did your daughter recognize Caitlin Clark? Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Josh Maurer]

No. I mean, the Internet exploded.

[Mike Grandle]

Talk about star Power.

[Tony Kornheiser]

So I didn't. I don't do the Internet, obviously. And I'm watching that, and Carol's in the room, not paying any attention. I go, I think that's Caitlin Clark. No, Caitlin Clark is. I think that's Caitlin Clark. But they never put her name there, so I didn't know.

[Mike Grandle]

I mean, that's definitely two, if not the two most famous. I was going to say women, but maybe people in the country, by the way. I mean, they're up there.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Caitlin Clark's birthday is today. 23 years old. 23 years old. The rising tide that lifts all bones.

[Josh Maurer]

Look how cool it is for her. Like, she just was a super fan of Taylor Swift. Yeah, she was a nobody, and now Taylor Swift wants to hang out with her.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah. Now she's gonna get the best tickets. Seriously.

[Mike Grandle]

The ERAS Tour, it's over now, but.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Well, she's the next tour.

[Mike Grandle]

Yep.

[Tony Kornheiser]

She's gonna be on the plane with Taylor. That was cool. All right. Thank you, Chuck. Good luck.

[Josh Maurer]

Bye, guys.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Chuck Todd. Boys and girls, if we just gave you Chuck Todd, that would be more than enough, though. We. We give you a monkey.

[Mike Grandle]

See the monkey, he's scritch, scritch scratching Watching his iPad Smoking and laughing Hanging with Bud Grant Tap, tap tapping on.

[Reginald the Monkey]

His purple attache Nigel's going to the zoo, zoo, zoo Reginald's got the vice.

[Tony Kornheiser]

By two Sometimes he throws boo, boo.

[Mike Grandle]

Boo when he's had too much Johnny.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Walker Blue Reginald had a good week. Reginald was 3:1 or 2:1. Whatever he was, Reginald is now hit the Buckeyes.

[Reginald the Monkey]

Yeah.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Reginald cannot have a losing season. Neither can Chuck. Neither can Carville. Ma can. But Ma can get up to 500. The worst Reginald can be is he's 30, 27 and 1. The worst he can be is 30. 30 and 1. At this point, there's only three games left.

[Reginald the Monkey]

Okay.

[Mike Grandle]

Reginald peaks in the playoffs.

[Tony Kornheiser]

He always has. He's always.

[Reginald the Monkey]

Yeah, he's a postseason.

[Tony Kornheiser]

He is. He's.

[Reginald the Monkey]

That's why they call him playoff R.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, Playoff R. Play off R. Yeah. Okay, what do you got?

[Reginald the Monkey]

I went down to the National Zoo. I had to go very early because of jury duty. I had to stop by. It's almost the middle of the night. But he was up.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Was it 3 degrees at that point?

[Reginald the Monkey]

It was very cold, but not in his flat because it's very, you know, he's well accommodated there. But he's having an Australian Open watch party. Of course, you know, with some joker. Did you know that he's the godfather.

[Tony Kornheiser]

To Carlos Alcaraz I had no idea. It must have been a bad day for him.

[Reginald the Monkey]

He was not happy because they were watching that match with Djokovic along with his good friends Michael Pernfors, Johan Kriegt and Hanuman Lakova.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Fantastic.

[Reginald the Monkey]

So, yeah, just a tennis fanatic. So they took a little bit of a break from the action because it was not going well for Carlito. And we went over these matches. First one was obviously Washington football team getting six at Philadelphia Redridge. Showed me a very old photograph of him at base camp at Mount Everest along with Joe Jacoby. The squire. Yes. Jack Kent Cook was there. Didn't see Marlena, saw the squire.

[Tony Kornheiser]

And he was on the hood of the car.

[Reginald the Monkey]

And Otis Wansley. So that tells me he's got ties to Washington. We'll take the Washington football team with the six at Philly. And the last match, we gave him the other one in the Avis six.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Nobody will know that reference unless you live in Washington or you listen to this show.

[Reginald the Monkey]

It's such look it up, kids.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, look it up.

[Reginald the Monkey]

Google it.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Look it up.

[Reginald the Monkey]

Google it. Casey giving two at home to the Bills. And this is again, a fairly old photograph. Must have been from the 70s. Reginald was watching the Northern Lights in Oslo along with Lyn Dawson. Paul split off and Dennis Leonard.

[Tony Kornheiser]

So he's going Kansas City.

[Reginald the Monkey]

So he's going to Kansas.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Opposite. Yes, he's going opposite of Chuck.

[Reginald the Monkey]

Yes, he is.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Good to know. This week's pick, Chuck with Chuck Todd and Reggie Lamonke have been brought to you by FanDuel Sportsbook. Make every moment more. We'll take a break. Barry Zwerluga. It's time. You know, I was reluctant to just put Barry on and talk about the Washington football team. But now. But now no longer local. I'm Tony Kornheiser. You're listening to the Tony Kornheiser show. This is the stamps.com read. Flexibility in your workday means you can decide when and where to invest your time. Like focusing on the important parts of the business that only you can do with stamps.com. tedious tasks like sending certified mail, invoices, checks or documents and packages can be done on your time, not someone else's. Stamps.com simplifies your postage needs and adds valuable flexibility back into your workday. Stamps.com handles all your mailing and shipping needs wherever, whenever, if you own a business. This is very good, right? Sure. I mean, if you have a lot of mail that's going out and you can do this yourself.

[Reginald the Monkey]

Oh, it saves you time saves you money.

[Tony Kornheiser]

It's really great. Yeah, you know you have access to all the USPS and UPS services. You need to run your business right from your computer or phone, anytime, day or night. No lines, no traffic, no waiting. Have more flexibility in your life with stamps.com Sign up at stamps.com Use the code Tony for a special offer that includes a four week trial plus free postage and a free digital scale. No long term commitments or contracts, just go to stamps.com code Tony. You should do this.

[Chuck Todd]

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[Tony Kornheiser]

Tony Kornheiser Show. Once again, this is the Allen Fellows Project from Syracuse, New York. This is a song called Here for the Hang. Michael. If people with independent music want to get that music played on this show, how do they go about doing it?

[Nigel]

Send us your music by emailing it to jinglesonyconisershow.com and the Allen Fellows Project.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Plays in Barry's Verluga. And I'm jealous of Barry's Verluga two weeks in a row now. Front page columns. I never had a front page column. If I had, I'd have wallpapered with it. I'd have bought 100 copies and put it all over the house. How did did you know and how did you feel when you saw I knew.

[Barry Zwerluga]

And you know the drill in these things, Tony. This is the old school newspaper world where not only do you know that the column is going on the front page, but they made it five minutes after the final gun. So I'm thankful for the first time in more than a month the commander's game did not end in the final play. Because it's a little difficult to turn in those things five minutes after the final gun. And I. I'm not you. We're FaceTime. So you can't see the wallpaper in my house. Maybe you know, who's to say what I did with it?

[Tony Kornheiser]

I really. I mean I. To me, when sports gets out there at all, I mean, I'm a veteran of three pretty good newspapers, Newsday, the New York Times, and the Washington Post. And sports sometimes gets out there, I remember, and I'm going back a long way. The most important sort of social tennis match of all time, Bobby Riggs and Billie Jean King. That was a front page story when I was at Newsday, and I was jealous. Two people wrote that story, Lynn Rossellini and Pete Alfano. Pete Alfano was a sports writer. Lynn Rossellini was not. And I thought, gee, I wish that could be me. And once in a while, I don't know for sure, I think the New York Times once in a while had a sports story out there, but never a column. Never a column. The Washington Post in my memory, has put columns out there. Maybe, you know, I don't know. When I worked there, the columns were out there. Sports stories were certainly out there. When Washington won the super bowl, that was certainly out there. Maybe the column was out there, but it was never one of mine. And so, I mean, it would feel like a great. It should feel like a great honor. Yes. Or is it just sort of a heartache because you got it right so fast?

[Barry Zwerluga]

No, I think, of course it's an honor. It's also, you know, we do live in a world where the. The percentage of our readers who are getting that print edition is small, you know, smaller by the day. I still get it. I still look at it. That's how I prefer to consume me, too, because you kind of get the idea of, okay, people smarter than me are telling me what's important. And here's six interesting stories that are on the. On the front page. But I also think from when I was a sports reporter at the Post and you were a columnist, it was a little bit different. They didn't put the columns out front.

[Tony Kornheiser]

No pictures either. No pictures?

[Barry Zwerluga]

Well, no, definitely no pictures of the columnists. And that's an even more recent change. I mean, I think, you know, Boz was on a one the day after the Nats won the World Series, and I don't believe we had a column sig logo out there at that point. So just little stylistic changes. But, you know, I'm never going to turn down that honor. And I think it's a responsibility to write the. The piece with the most sweep and the most impact about games that are just games, but they are things that have not happened here in more than three decades. So there's certainly some. Some heft to it all.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I go through this all the time when given the opportunity on PTI to try to explain to people how incredible this turnaround is with this team, how quickly it has happened, how remarkable it is and how nobody ever expected it. And it's really. I mean, we can talk for hours, you and I, but the only thing to talk about really is how can this be? How did this happen?

[Barry Zwerluga]

It's. It's such an amazing alignment of the planets that, I mean, I think for years, and I'm sure I've said this on this program, like for years, I felt like I was playing a two note xylophone when it came to this franchise. And the only notes that mattered were the owner and the quarterback. They had to change the owner and they had to find a quarterback because the previous owner sowed chaos and worse. And the most important position in sports was occupied by about 45 different people this century. And they had no stability in either chair. They have changed the owner. They have found the quarterback. Yeah, there are ancillary parts, you know, that they have an adult general manager who helped with all of that. They have a coach who has tapped into something in the locker room, even if he's not, you know, Bill Belichick or, or Vince Lombardi. And they have found pieces that have made what seemed like a very thin roster fit together very well. But the most important person in this town athletically right now is Jaden Daniels. And with him on any given weekend, anything is possible. He. He can't win games all by himself, but he gives them a chance every single time. And more than that, Tony, he does not lose games. He has not lost the game. He is a rookie quarterback playing with just preternatural ability and kind of a level headedness that cannot be dismissed. He just does not get rattled. And it is amazing to see it every week.

[Tony Kornheiser]

It's stage presence. It's. It's a gift. It's a total gift. I mean, you can say he started a lot of games in college and that's true. It helped him. It helped Bo Nix. It's going to help Michael penix. They've started 50 games in college. All of that stuff helps. But this kid walks onto the stage and gets it. And you, you. I don't think you can coach that, Barry. I think that's a gift.

[Barry Zwerluga]

No, but I also do think he refines it. He is gifted with the flatline, slow heartbeat. The moment's not too big.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Barry Zwerluga]

But he also backs it up with preparation. That sets the tone in that building. When your best players in any sport are your hardest workers and your best studiers that you can't tell me there's not a trickle down throughout the entire. Tom Brady.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Tom Brady, yes. Yeah.

[Barry Zwerluga]

I mean, who's. You know, the cliche is first in, last out. Well, but it matters if it's not for show. This guy is gifted. He can outrun you. He can improvise, he can throw the deep ball with amazing precision. Those are all physical gifts that will serve him well over the course of his career. But he couples it with preparation and study that make him so much more advanced for the amount of experience he has in the NFL. And it leads you to believe that, you know, this isn't just a good rookie season, that with good health. And that's the caveat, of course, but with good health, this is the start of a career that really could be something special.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah. And I think he has. I think there's fortune here that Cliff Kingsbury was hired as offensive coordinator. I do. I think that was a great move. I don't. How do you feel about that?

[Barry Zwerluga]

I do feel now, and I didn't know then, like, I think Cliff and Dan Quinn, the head coach, have something in common that I really respect. Like Cliff Kingsbury, who I don't know basically at all, but has. You know, I've sat in on many interviews with him. He has acknowledged that, look, when I was the head coach in Arizona, there's a bunch of things I didn't handle well. Dan Quinn said the same thing, like when he got fired from Atlanta, where he's most known for blowing a 28 to 3 lead in the Super Bowl. He didn't kind of just say, like, well, that didn't work out and I'm just going to continue doing things the way I do them. Both Kingsbury and Quinn looked at themselves, looked back at what they did, and said, well, that was a mistake. I can do that better. Kingsbury and Daniels are a tremendous, tremendous pair. And I think one benefit of Washington going to the NFC Championship Game, whether they win or lose, is that some of these head coaching jobs are getting gobbled up right now, and Kingsbury is not either able or doesn't want to be in the mix while the season is still going on. Another season of this pairing together with some additions in the draft and free agency, could be even more spectacular. Because you're right, it's been a really, really good fit that I can't say I thought when they. The day they hired Kingsbury, oh, this is perfect.

[Tony Kornheiser]

You mentioned the general manager knowing what he's doing. I said earlier in the show, the guy who's running the Wizards has no idea that nobody should be out there with anybody else who's out there. They just don't have any chemistry whatsoever. And I have no idea, you know, what the plan is there. But the general manager here brought in a couple of people. He brought in Ertz and he brought in the guy from Seattle. Wagner, right? Do I have the name right? Yeah.

[Mike Grandle]

Frankie Luvu, right? Austin Eckley.

[Tony Kornheiser]

These are great additions. Who is the general manager? I don't know anything about him, but obviously he has an eye for veteran talent that fits in well with this team.

[Barry Zwerluga]

So his name is Adam Peters and he was Josh Harris, the owner's first hire to oversee the football operations. It's the first time there's really been a true football person overseeing all the personnel in a long time. If you don't count Bruce Allen, who was really Dan Snyder's lap boy for a while and was related to George Allen, who's, you know, that it just is kind of a ridiculous hire. Adam Peters cut his teeth in New England under Scott Pioli and Bill Belichick as a, as a scout, low level right out of college, right out of ucla. Moved to Denver with under John Elway. And John lynch was a broadcaster who got to know Peters when he got the job in San Francisco as the gm. The old safety who played in Denver.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, hall of Famer.

[Barry Zwerluga]

Yeah, absolutely. Hired Peters as an assistant, as a personnel guy and then he became an assistant GM. So he has 20 plus years in the league as an evaluator, a talent guy, but he'd never run his own shop. And I think what you, what you learn is that yes, he's honed that skill over time. He's done a very good job of assembling a front office team and delegating to those people, giving them real responsibility and valuing their opinion. And what you didn't know as these transactions over the course of the off season came in, there weren't the, you know, the old school, oh, they signed Deion Sanders or Dan Wilkinson or Bill Bruce Smith. You know, the flashy, stupid signings that happened early in the Snyder era. They were like, I didn't know who Frankie Luvu was. They signed for three years and $31 million from Carolina. Turns out he's like a disruptive linebacker, slash edge rusher. Had a real impact. Bobby Wagner is here in a one year deal.

[Tony Kornheiser]

He's going to the hall of Fame.

[Barry Zwerluga]

He's a, he's a Hall of Famer, but he also can still play. And he is an amazing, amazing locker room presence. They did a first rate job of assembling a roster that fit together, but also, you know, winning. When you're winning, it's easy to all walk in one direction, but they are all walking in one direction in a way that I've been in that locker room over the past 20 years and it just has never, ever, ever felt that way.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, I don't want to get carried away here because they haven't won the super bowl, but they could because there's only four teams left. And I personally think they're going to beat Philadelphia. If they were to win the super bowl in my lifetime, and I'm old, the only comparable thing for me is the 1969 Mets. The 1969 Mets finished ninth the year before in a ten team league. And their previous seven years they finished either last or next to last. And then they won the World Series. It's an unbelievable turnaround. This would be comparable to me and then if I were writing a column and Barry, you and I write very differently because I am first and foremost a wise guy. I would have to write a column about what is Dan Snyder thinking? What is Dan Snyder thinking? Europe as he sees that the only thing that this could be attributed to is him not being there. Barry, do you ever think of that? Do you think of what Snyder's thinking?

[Barry Zwerluga]

Yeah, and you know, I think of it as like a reported story too, Tony. Like, like, is he in England on some estate? Does he watch these games? Does he throw stuff at the tv? Because he's now mad that his childhood team that he owned and could not do anything with as a steward is an instant success over a guy who's essentially a peer of his, a local Montgomery county kid who went to school in the district and in fact is a more successful businessman than Dan Snyder ever is or will be, although he paid him $6.05 billion to go away. So I think Dan's doing all right. Like, there's got to be frustration and jealousy and it's just, it has to. I mean, Snyder has been unknowable for the better part of the last two decades because he's just walled himself off even when he was in a public position. But he lived, it seemed, a very bitter, angry existence when he was in charge of what is supposed to be a joyful enterprise. And so you can only imagine him sitting there being even more bitter and angry when the team that he could never turn around over 20 something years is, poof, instantly turned around by a guy who Just like him, grew up here and loved the team and wanted nothing but success for it.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, the opening scene for me is he's sitting in a room and he's throwing plates against the wall as the Washington shooting the tv. That's. Yeah, that's what? That's.

[Barry Zwerluga]

Mike.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, that's fine. All right. Thank you so much. I won't make you say if you think they're going to win, but I think they're going to win. I do so enjoy no game that can't win.

[Barry Zwerluga]

There's no game they can't win.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Enjoy that. Enjoy. Thanks, Barry.

[Barry Zwerluga]

Thanks, Tony. Appreciate it.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Barry's for Luga, boys and girls. We'll take a break. We'll come back with email and jingle. I'm Tony Kornheiser. This episode is brought to you by Love Hurts. Kiwi Kwan has had quite a career, from childhood roles in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom and the Goonies to a recent Academy Award win for Everything Everywhere all at Once. But now Kee finally stars as a leading man in the film Love Hurts. Love Hurts is the perfect date night movie with its mix of over the top action comedy and a ton of heart. Love Hurts only at theaters February 7th. You're listening to the Tony Kornheiser Show.

[Mike Grandle]

The Tony Kornheiser Show.

[Darius Rucker]

Here comes Tony's mailbag.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Get your emails, faxes, and your notes.

[Darius Rucker]

Here comes Mr. Tony's mail.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Back on the rezone for all of ya, folks. Somebody we like to call Darius Rucker. Hootie of Hootie and the Blowfish. Very proud to have that.

[Reginald the Monkey]

Oh, it's great. It's one of my favorite things.

[Tony Kornheiser]

What about Bethesda bagels for us?

[Reginald the Monkey]

Bethesda bagels, we love them. You will as well. Just go to bethesdabeagels.com for the location in the DC area. Stew. Then pop one in and you'll be thrilled if I just ask a question. I forgot to ask this about jury duty. What's the etiquette on tipping? When you leave the courtroom, you just attend to everybody.

[Tony Kornheiser]

20. Yeah. Thank them. Thank them for everything. Yeah. Good to see you. You know what?

[Reginald the Monkey]

Keep it fair.

[Tony Kornheiser]

You know what you get paid in D.C. do you know what you get paid for jury duty? If you serve, Is it.

[Reginald the Monkey]

Oh, it's up like $35. No, it's been increased $57.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Now it was $4.

[Reginald the Monkey]

Yes, I remember.

[Tony Kornheiser]

If you serve. Yeah, yeah, $4. You think that's what I'm worth for the whole day? You're like, what is this $4.

[Mike Grandle]

Did you get a lunch stipend?

[Tony Kornheiser]

No.

[Mike Grandle]

Oh no. Did you get a lunch stipend?

[Tony Kornheiser]

No. No. And I spent more than four online. Anyway, let's get to the mailbag. After we did the song, his rival, it seems, had broken his dreams by stealing the girl of his fancy. Her name was McGill and she called herself Lil, but everyone knew her as Nancy. That's Paul McCartney.

[Reginald the Monkey]

Yes, it is.

[Tony Kornheiser]

That's the Beatles. Let's thank Chuck Todd and Barry Zverluga. Let's thank today's sponsors. Remember, you can listen to us on Apple, Podcast Spotify in order, see if you get the show through Apple. Please leave us a review, okay from an old friend of mine, Larry Zbrak. Very good three sport athlete, I believe, at Valley Stream North High School. Yeah, he's a very good athlete whose nickname is Zeta. And he goes. You know that I hate to agree with anyone who went to Eulet High School in Camp Kiuma, but you're 100% correct. The agency Unwatchable Stay well this it's unwatchable. Patrick Sitter, Sioux Falls, South Dakota frequent email or if the money is not the issue, screw the solar panels. Just buy a substation.

[Reginald the Monkey]

That's the plan.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Solar panels. Bill Garner, North Potomac I've had solar panels for 8 years. My bill used to be 300 to $350 a month. Neighbors are about 450 now. Since install 75 to 90amonth. I get paid 7 SRE sees. I don't know what that means. A year ranging $75. Can't explain it. Money just falls from the sky. Plus, in April, Pepco usually gets even with me on the solar I send back to them during the course of the year. Usually pays for a month or two. Initially, the panels cost 24 grand with an $8,000 tax credit from Uncle Sam. Bottom line, whenever or whomever sets up whatever system, just figure out how much money per kilowatt you're paying for. You're welcome. Yes. So it's like a dollar a kilowatt and I'm using a thousand kilowatts an hour, it seems. Brett Hobbs, Linton, Indiana it's all the.

[Mike Grandle]

Bitcoin mining you're doing.

[Tony Kornheiser]

After listening to Dr. Tony's rant on Friday, all I can say is you're in my prayers. P.S. utility Bill Rule when it gets cold, the bills go up. When it gets warm, the bills go up. And utility companies are never wrong. Yeah, that's exactly how I feel.

[Reginald the Monkey]

How it works oh, it's the summit goes up in the summer.

[Tony Kornheiser]

The guy who came over here to check on my H Vac system to see if there was anything he could do said my theory is they're just raising prices all the time. All the time. They just raise prices. So you know, it's like going through.

[Mike Grandle]

The drive and he's on the inside.

[Nigel]

But it's a month to month change.

[Tony Kornheiser]

What do you mean?

[Nigel]

A month ago when you were still using the same amount of electricity, it was half of the price.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah. How does that happen now? Dean Jansen in Adelaide in south Australia, Washington versus Philly in the NFC title game. Let's call it the i95 Bowl. Can't wait to hear what Wilbon has to say about this. At least he gets a showdown with two classic Midwest cities in the afc, Kansas City and Buffalo. What a run for the Washington football team. John Hoover Charlotte, North Carolina Dr. Kornheiser, I'm sure by now you've been loaded with emails stating that Apex, North Carolina is in fact not at the top. Apex, I add parenthetically of North Carolina, but in the center as it is a suburb of Raleigh. I had yours as the first. However, please note that we're the same state where the city of Rockingham, North Carolina is on the South Carolina border, yet Rockingham County, North Carolina is on the Virginia border. The city of Graham, North Carolina is east of Greensboro, yet the county of Graham is on the Tennessee border. Henderson county is at the extreme western side of the state. Hendersonville, North Carolina is in that county. But wait, Henderson, North Carolina is north of Raleigh. Sadly, I could go on as there are more examples I'm so confused. From Annie I'm emailing because my husband Eli is a huge fan of yours. He listens to every show, shares anecdotes, sings all your iterations of Tony's mailbag jingle around the house. He admires your journalism, humor and passion for and against certain Long island traffic patterns. He has experience with them for having married me, his Long island born Italian American shiksa wife. We make it work. I should say now that I am a fan too. He sends me clips from your show from frequently and while I'm not as sports fluent, I do agree with many other takes, especially the one touting the brilliance that is 1961's west side Story. Not up for discussion. So why am I emailing? Eli and I are about to become first time parents in the beginning of February. It'd mean a ton to us to hear any advice you have on becoming parents. We would so appreciate any Wisdom you impart. As we eagerly await our little guy, I turn to my son, who I parented very poorly, who is himself a good parent, and he will help split this soda can. What would you like to tell Annie about?

[Nigel]

I just enjoy every moment of it.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah. So. And you're great at it.

[Nigel]

Well, thank you, Tony.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I was not.

[Nigel]

You're gonna make me blush over here.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I was not great at it.

[Nigel]

Someone's got to do it.

[Tony Kornheiser]

D.C. not to be confused with DG Don Chiles. One of the wonders of skiing is riding the chairlift with strangers and finding that connective tissue. This past weekend at Mad River Glen in Vermont, I found myself next to a gentleman from Washington, dc. Some might assume I'd bring up the miraculous commander's playoff run or the inauguration, but no. My first question was, do you know Tony Kornheiser? Funny you should ask. My new friend remarked as we pulled up. We were pulled up slowly to the mountain. He went on to explain that his business partners partners live on Tony street and years ago they lost a big tree in their yard. Tony was walking by and remarked, what are you going to do with all that wood? I interjected, and I said, I know this story. They made him a wooden bowl. Somewhat shocked, the gentleman from D.C. said yes, that's amazing. They made him a bowl. And he talked about on podcast, that's Stan Welborn who made the bowl. Anyway, we had a good laugh and shook our heads over Tony's latest bill payment struggle. While Tony may never ride a chairlift in Vermont, his trials and tribulations on the mean streets of Trevi Chase, D.C. are top of discussion on the slopes of Mad River Glen. Isn't that nice? How about that from V Duble. I hope you are having a great week so far. My name is V Duble and I last emailed you to invite you to my 13th birthday party, which was two years ago. Now I'm 14. Well, shouldn't you be 15?

[Mike Grandle]

Come on, kid, do the math.

[Tony Kornheiser]

And in my first year of high school in Winter Park, Florida, I've been listening to your show for around two years and off and on with my dad that we have to constantly pause so he can explain to me all the sports terminology I don't get. Most recently, I really love the interview we did with Jeff Ma. It really resonated with me, particularly after my grandfather, Bob Dubal passed away this fall. Like you, he was an important journalist and he was executive editor at USA Today for many years. Interesting. On another note, I started my first real sport this fall I'm the coxswain for high school's women's crew team. How cool is that?

[Reginald the Monkey]

That's very cool.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I wish I had another birthday party to invite you to, but unfortunately I have to wait till August email you about that. Oh, okay. So he's not 15 yet. From Phil Brugner in Tallahassee, I'm wondering if Capital Weather Gang covers snow forecast for all capitals, including state capitals. I'm here in Tallahassee suddenly actually need a snow forecast. I'm wondering what section of the Capital Weather Gang forecast I should look under. Silk under F for Florida, T for Tallahassee or I for Insufferable being the home of Florida State. Anyway, I'll hang up and listen as always from this is a fairly long one from Paul Strube or Strobe in Martinez, California, your recent Happy Trail salute to Bob Uecker and Wilbond's lament about the passing of so many great storytellers, reminding my own favorite baseball story in the summer of 1985, before my senior year in college, I went to a Brewers Angels game at Old Milwaukee County Stadium with a friend whose uncle, Bud Bud Selig, owned the Brewers. After the game, we hurried upstairs to the team's private bar and dining room, where we sat enjoying ribs and a local brewery surrounded by a number of team staffers, families, suite owners, et cetera. After a few minutes in came Joe Torrey, who was doing color for the Angels TV broadcast, and the voice of the Brewers, Bob Uecker. Uecker's outsized personality took over the room as he and Torrey started talking baseball, sharing memories, recounting hilarious stories. After an hour or two, the bartender had to leave. So Euchre, never wanting to lose an audience, goes behind the bar himself and starts pouring. One of the funniest stories was Tori and Euchre talking about facing Sandy Koufax and how you knew if you were going to strike out by looking at his cap. If he had his good stuff going, his left arm would come over his shoulder and brush the brim of his cap slightly to the right. Imagine Torrey and Euchre pantomiming this. They said when you got in the batter's box and stared at Koufax on the mound, if you saw that hat cocked to the right, you just tried not to embarrass yourself, euchre said. He swore that sometimes when his arm was tired and he didn't have it, Koufax would intentionally shift his cap to the right to try intimidate him. And it worked every time. Euchre was smart and funny and absolutely one of a kind. Isn't that nice? Isn't that nice? Mason White in Sheboygan thanks to Nigel for putting Bob Ucher in the clothes. It's unlikely that baseball on the radio will be as important to anyone young be important to anyone younger than 40. But UCH was literally the voice of our Milwaukee brewers my entire life, whether it was sitting in the yard with a couple of beverages or coming home late after a long day at work. One of those things we counted on between April and September was listening to the game and being entertained. If the game was good, then the announcing team would enhance it but not take it over. But all too often the brewers were terrible, including the year I worked in Miller park in 2002, going in embarrassing 56 and 106. No one made the game more enjoyable than Bob Uecker. Over the past couple of days, I've heard so many great calls from big games and big moments, and I hope you can tell the truculent story with Uncle Al, Uncle Big Al and Howard Cosell. But my memories will always be from being behind the wheel of my car or playing catch in the yard, listening to the game, laughing my head off to something Bob Uecker said. He he was beloved. I was. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Mike Weissman Berkeley Heights, New Jersey Episode 347 Are they up to 347?

[Mike Grandle]

I just got a tag from them. They are sending out little plastic orange tags.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I just got one Dina from Dino.

[Mike Grandle]

I was 136, 134, 136.

[Tony Kornheiser]

You mentioned I didn't make the top 50. Your mutual friend Anthony Joseph Reali on PTI the other day. I've been friends with Reali since seventh grade. I can say unequivocally that Tony drives, having been in the car with him many times. This includes riding shotgun. We got into an accident on the way to the CBA versus St. Anthony's basketball game in 1996. We never made it to the game. Michael Benedetti San Tan Valley, Arizona not sure if you've been keeping up with your soup news recently. My daughter Elizabeth actually told me about this, but Progresso has come out with a new product called Soup Drops. That's right, Soup Drops. Hard candy that tastes like Progresso chicken noodle soup.

[Reginald the Monkey]

No, thank you.

[Tony Kornheiser]

$3.50 for a two pack. No soup for you. Roughly 35 soup drops per can. That's 5 cents a drop compared to the average of 7 cents per spoonful of soup. And maybe the best part is their tagline, soup you can suck on, eat it. Regular soup I can't.

[Mike Grandle]

Soup you can suck on is like a shit, a tagline.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I don't know.

[Mike Grandle]

Also, when I'm eating soup, I'm never.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I don't want that. I love soup, but I don't like it as candy.

[Mike Grandle]

When I'm eating it, I'm never thinking, like, man, I wonder how much per spoonful this costs. Like, nobody breaks it down that way.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Justin Winkleman in Titusville, Florida. What do Thanassis Antetokounmpo and Victor Wembanyama. Where do they rank in the professional athlete name game? They're off the board. They're off the board. Their names are 40 letters long. Ken Maggot in Kenya. Hello, Mr. Tony. It's 8:30am on Sunday here in Kenya. As I'm writing this got up at 4am to catch the Commanders game. Glad I did. That was some performance. Can't wait for the NFC Championship game. Please give a shout out to my brothers Andy and Jeff, who are also Littles. And thanks for the continued years of endless entertainment. Now, if you excuse me, I have to go to sleep. Ryan Niles in Marblehead. Yes, Marblehead, not Revere. On Friday show, Jason said that Coach prime has strong ties to Dallas. Oh, yeah? Does he have photos on his iPad of himself shopping for menswear with Tom Landry? Or hot tubbing with Leon Luck, Red Hull and Orlando Blackman? Or smoking cigars at an Emmy's after party with Larry Hagman? I don't think so. Tony Beeson, North Cincinnati I asked Jen AI to create a dirge for the Detroit Lions in the style of Louise Glock. Here's what it came up with. In the stillness of twilight the season's breath fades the roar of the crowd Now a whisper cascades each tackle, each pass a promise unkept in the heart of the city where sorrow has crept with each fleeting moment the chance sleeps away A dirge for the Lions who fought but could not stay. That's really good. That's actually really bad. AI. Why? I'm so glad I had a career before AI.

[Mike Grandle]

Enjoy your life.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I'm so glad. Glad. Because if you went to AI and said, do a column like Cornheit, it would be better. Yeah.

[Mike Grandle]

That's remarkable.

[Tony Kornheiser]

It'd be better. Better. Ooh, scary. If you're out on your bike tonight, everyone, as always, do wear white.

[Josh Maurer]

Leave the gun, take the cannoli.

[Darius Rucker]

Leaves fall down yellow and red below Slanted there's a crater a place within I see Air is cold inside my nose Time to get your winter clothes Time get your win at a time High these fall down one at a time Everything turning down and down Inward it goes Time to hide to get your winter clothes to get your win Time to get your will go Time get your will Time to get your winner go Time to get your winner Go get your winner I was raised in an eagle's bar down on a boulevard Spinning chick box money was easy Getting out the door was hard.

[Tony Kornheiser]

My.

[Darius Rucker]

Old man, he could nurse the beers I didn't sound Nice and Boy 12 columns in the glass My patience has run sure in the meantime I heard some things I'm just here for the hang don't need a drink and fear that I bring Only want some song to be sang no sand chill again I'm just reading tonight so all y'all good Brothers, misters and sisters and all y'all good damn parents gather around Tomorrow we work greater than the time I'm just here for the hand Only watch some song to be sat I'm just here for the hand all right, bring it back around I'm just here to say I'm just here for I'm just here for the.