The Tony Kornheiser Show

Episode: “The Wine Theft”
Date: December 1, 2025

Episode Overview

This lively episode of The Tony Kornheiser Show stays true to its wide-ranging, conversational spirit—mixing sports talk, personal anecdotes, and sharp commentary on current events. The main throughlines include a discussion of a high-profile wine theft, the evolving situation with Lane Kiffin’s move from Ole Miss to LSU, NFL and college football analysis, and the joys (and perils) of holiday family life. Regular guests Michael Wilbon and Pat Forde contribute their signature insights and banter.

Key Themes & Discussion Points

1. Holiday Dinners and Family Stories

• [00:22–01:55]
  Tony and Michael Wilbon discuss their recent holiday dinner together, filled with family quirks and culinary highlights. Tony jokes about the versatility of taking home doggy bags and debates "soup and bread" as a proper meal.
  • Notable Quote:
    • Tony: “Are we in prison that we’re having soup and bread?” (01:35)
    • Michael: “That was a ham split pea soup like I had at Houlihan's as a kid.” (02:09)
• Family antics included a baby refusing to wear pants and the perennial competition for who gets to leave dinner first.

2. The Great Wine Theft Story

• [05:45–10:38]
  The central anecdote is a Washington Post story about a couple who brazenly stole high-end vintages from a restaurant’s cellar by disguising themselves as big spenders. An extended riff follows, mixing humor with actual curiosity about the logistics and economics of stolen wine.
  • Summary of the Heist:
    • Couple promised a huge party ($20k value) to gain cellar access.
    • The man, dressed in a long coat with deep pockets, swapped out expensive bottles for cheap screw tops.
    • The woman played the victim when caught; the man escaped after a car chase.
  • Discussion of value:
    • Tony: “This wine is no longer protected… is this like getting 50 bucks?” (08:29)
    • Michael: “Is this like a baseball—once it leaves the field of play, you can’t guarantee it?” (08:57)
  • Wilbon worries about the difficulty of fencing hot wine compared to jewelry or artwork.
  • Tony dryly notes, “He’s gonna be on the corner peddling to a guy in a sabrett stand,” underscoring the heist’s absurdity (10:06).
• [10:42]
  Wilbon likens the tale to cinematic capers, and the group discusses other famous wine thefts, including one involving a tunnel under a cellar in France.

3. NFL & College Football Storylines

a) NFL Parity & The Chicago Bears

• [18:14–25:46]
  Wilbon revels in the Bears’ surprise run—9 wins in their last 10 games—describing the city's delirious response and reminiscing about past NFL glories.
  • Notable Quotes:
    • “It's the delirious autumn of our lives as Bears fans.” (18:54 — Wilbon)
    • “For the first time in recent memory, there’s like nine teams where you say, ‘Yeah, maybe.’” (24:32 — Tony)
  • The shifting “best team” debate (Cowboys, Seattle, Rams, Patriots) shows league-wide unpredictability.

b) Lane Kiffin and the Ole Miss–LSU Coaching Drama

• [11:02–14:11, 25:46–33:11]
  Kornheiser takes a contrarian position: even after Kiffin’s announcement to leave for LSU, Tony argues Ole Miss should let him keep coaching through the playoff run—prioritizing the rare chance to win a national title over pride or “macro” principles.
  • Tony: “I'd go as far as I could with Lane Kiffin, then I'd curse his name for the end of time. But I would, I would think short term, we got a chance…” (12:02)
• Wilbon vehemently disagrees—“Get out, get out, get out” (25:58), arguing it’s impossible to keep a departing coach, especially when moving to a blood rival.
  • “It’s a divorce. It’s over. You declared it over, so it’s over.” (27:52 — Wilbon)
• They reference the Bo Schembechler/Bill Frieder-Michigan precedent, where a coach hired elsewhere was dismissed before the tournament, leading to a surprise NCAA championship.

4. Pat Forde Joins: CFB Playoff Picture & Kiffin Analysis

• [35:52–47:51]
  Pat Forde agrees with Tony on prioritizing the playoffs—“Lane Kiffin hijacked Rivalry Weekend” (36:43)—and it’s worth swallowing school ego for a title shot.
  • “You do everything possible to protect that and prioritize that over next year’s recruiting class… swallow your pride and ego.” (39:18 — Forde)
• Florida, Kiffin’s other suitor, shifted to another candidate only after Kiffin chose LSU. Forde notes Kiffin is “attracted to chaos.”
• CFP ranking intrigue:
  • Mississippi’s slot without Kiffin will be telling.
  • Parity and messy conference structures raise questions about fairness.
  • Tony and Pat discuss Miami’s exclusion from the ACC title game owing to confusing tiebreakers.
• Potential playoff expansion from 12 to 16 teams is debated, given the year’s chaos.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Wine Theft:
  • Tony: “This is like, not DB Cooper jumping out of an airplane 50 years ago. No, if he had a plan, he's already out. Right.” (07:56)
• On Lane Kiffin:
  • Tony: “If I care about the University of Mississippi, I'm going to let him coach. As much as I hate him, I'm going to say I hate you. But, yes, you can coach as far as you go.” (13:25)
  • Wilbon: “You made the choice. You have every right to exercise this choice and …go wherever you want…but you have to go now.” (25:58)
• On Team Fandom:
  • Wilbon: “It's hard when you're a fan of a franchise that's 110 years old to say you're having a fall like no other.” (23:14)
• On College Football Conference Chaos:
  • Forde: “Welcome, Tony, to College Football 2025 where you have a 17 team conference … and your teams don't play each other often enough to know who's really actually good.” (43:58)

Noteworthy Timestamps

• [01:55] – Tony & Michael discuss the soup dinner and NFL games.
• [05:45] — [10:38] – The full breakdown of the $20k wine theft.
• [11:02] – Tony editorializes on Kiffin/Ole Miss, establishing his minority view.
• [18:14–25:46] – Chicago Bears’ renaissance, NFL season analysis.
• [25:46–33:11] – Deep-dive: Should Lane Kiffin coach Ole Miss in the playoffs? Contrasting views, reference to Bo Schembechler/Bill Frieder.
• [35:52–47:51] – Pat Forde segment: CFB Playoff, conference drama, agreeing with Tony on the Kiffin question.

Tone & Language

• Fast-paced, irreverent, with sharp asides and wisdom born of decades in journalism.
• Banter between Tony and regulars (Wilbon, Forde) is familiar and candid—often blunt, occasionally sentimental.
• Regular callbacks to sports history, personal foibles, and pop culture.

For Listeners Who Missed the Show

This episode offers a classic blend of sports, unscripted personal moments, and the sort of off-kilter storytelling that defines the Tony Kornheiser Show:

• You’ll laugh at the holiday dinner stories, get drawn into the “great wine theft” caper, and learn how Tony’s short-term pragmatism on college coaches stacks up against his friends’ hard lines.
• The show provides a clear, opinionated breakdown of the chaos and excitement surrounding the college football season and playoff landscape.
• Key highlights include the “soup and bread” prison meal joke, the debate over what really happens to a stolen $20,000 wine, and a nuanced look at the Lane Kiffin saga—illustrated with callbacks to classic sports moments.

End of Summary