The Tony Kornheiser Show — “Turkey Club”

Date: September 22, 2025
Guests: Michael Wilbon, Greg Garcia

Episode Overview

This episode of The Tony Kornheiser Show balances the signature blend of sports talk, nostalgic stories, comedic banter, and listener engagement. The show covers NFL and college football (with a focus on dramatic finishes and legendary players), MLB news, personal tales from the hosts and guests, and an in-depth segment with TV writer Greg Garcia about his recent (mis)adventures in stand-up comedy and golf. The conversational, meandering tone brings listeners into the familiar world of “Tony’s living room,” complete with in-jokes and reflections on aging, sports heartbreak, and the sublime joy of a good turkey club sandwich.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Listener Emails, Cheese, and Golf Invitations

[01:11 - 05:58]

• Tony reads emails from dedicated listeners Holly Herman and Ira Goldberg. Holly invites Tony and Mike to Mountain Lake Club (a Seth Raynor golf course in Florida), sparking a lively discussion about Raynor designs and exclusive golf culture.

  • Quote: “Wilbon will be very comfortable in a gated community. It’s a very special place and pretty unknown to many.” [01:27, Tony]

• Ira Goldberg reminisces about growing up near Tony’s relatives on Long Island and offers a comical cheese connection.

• Cabot Creamery sends Tony cottage cheese and golf balls, which leads into banter about everyone’s relationship to cottage cheese.

  • Quote: “Do you like cottage cheese, Greg? …No. You don’t like cottage. Okay, so then this won’t help.” [03:04, Tony & Greg]

• Stickers from the podcast community (“Spudster Olney,” a play on Buster Olney) bring delight to the hosts and a rapid-fire exchange of inside jokes.

2. NFL Sunday Recap: Drama by the Field Goal

[06:27 - 15:04]

• Tony laments the initially dull-looking NFL Sunday slate, which erupted into one of the most thrilling afternoons he could recall—with multiple “walk-off” field goals and bizarre betting bad beats. The conversation zeros in on the Rams-Eagles game:

  • Quote: “If you bet the Rams, you are just poking your eyes out with a cocktail fork. It’s just awful.” [08:25, Tony]
  • Rams blowing a 27-6 lead and a rare blocked field-goal touchdown upends both the game and many bets.
  • Quote: “Scott Van Pelt uses that phrase, bad beats. Yeah, you lose right there… in the wink of an eye on the rarest play imaginable.” [07:52, Tony]

• The group trades bets and predictions for the upcoming Monday night game (Detroit at Baltimore) and critiques the Giants’ continued poor performance.

• Short, funny asides about memorable (or forgettable) quarterbacks spark quick laughs (e.g., “Scatter Boo,” [09:38]).

3. MLB Notes: Nats-Mets, Fielding Heroics, and Managerial Futures

[10:16 - 12:52]

• Tony and Michael discuss the Nationals’ back-to-back one-run wins over the Mets:

  • Quote: “The Mets are horrendous. If they don’t make the wild card, well, you gotta fire the manager anyway.” [10:28, Tony]

• Outfielder Jacob Young’s spectacular catches are assessed in detail, igniting a debate about his future—“great fielder, can’t hit.”

  • Quote: “He’s a great fielder... He’s an even better fielder than Michael A. Taylor. He’s better.” [12:11, Tony]

• Greg jokingly suggests trading Young to the “Savannah Bananas,” keeping things light.

4. Reflections on Aging, Golf, and Sandwiches

[12:52 - 15:12]

• Tony shares how playing golf leads to existential rumination—balancing the joy of a respectable round (“My par for me is 90… I birdied 16.” [13:06]) with the looming reality of not being able to play forever.
• Salvation is found in simple pleasures: “After I was done, I had a BLT turkey club sandwich, and it made me so happy. I had a beer and a turkey.” [14:01]
• Greg chimes in with sarcastic wisdom:
  • Quote: “This is the secret to life. You lower your expectations. You used to want to be a scratch golfer… now you're elated that you can digest pork.” [14:39, Garcia]

5. Wilbon’s Bears Experience and NFL Realities

[16:17 - 21:06]

• Wilbon recounts attending a Bears game with all-time greats Richard Dent and Otis Wilson. Describes the camaraderie, historic legacy, and excitement of watching with legends, still beloved 40 years after the ’85 team.

  • Quote: “To watch with them in Chicago, in Soldier Field… you just hear what they think in real life time as they root for the team. It’s just fabulous.” [17:10, Wilbon]

• Wilbon notes how Bears rookie QB Caleb Williams had his best game, and how fans' impatience with rookie QBs contrasts with past legends’ struggles.

  • Quote: “People are stupid now. They don’t realize what Troy Aikman or Peyton Manning were like as rookies… Everybody thinks he’s gonna be great tomorrow. That’s not how it works.” [19:50, Wilbon/Tony]

• Tony details the hideousness of NFL “bad beats” and blocked kicks, with more reminiscing about wild finishes from previous decades.

6. Coaching Futures and College Football

[25:16 - 29:31]

• The guys debate Clemson coach Dabo Swinney’s tenure—whether it’s time to leave after years of success but recent decline.

  • Quote: “I think it’s expiration date has been reached… It’s time to go.” [25:30, Wilbon]

• Money, buyouts, and donor culture in today’s college football are dissected:

  • Quote: “If you have a big-time school… you may have to pay a gymnast $500,000 a year. So you gotta have money now.” [28:08, Wilbon]

7. Greg Garcia Segment: Stand-Up Comedy and Golf with the Pros

[31:10 - 47:32]

On Doing Stand-Up:

• Greg Garcia opens up about his recent foray into stand-up, how terrifying it is, and his trial-by-fire at a Nate Bargatze arena show in Baltimore (~14,000 people).

  • Quote: “All day long, I’d just been psyching myself up… Don’t go up there and look nervous. If you mess up, you mess up, but don’t look nervous because that's the worst thing.” [32:13, Garcia]

• He discusses the difference between arena and club shows, audience expectations for “clean” acts, and how his writing for television both helps and differs from performing live.

  • Quote: “I'm up there just kind of, you know, faking it to some degree… but it's a lot of fun.” [35:52, Garcia]
  • Quip from Mike O’Malley (relayed by Greg): “You’ve been a standup for 35 years—just sitting down.” [37:01]
  • Greg: “When I’m with Nate, people are there to laugh… Most people start standup in open mics and it’s horrible.” [38:02]

• Greg recounts performing with his sons and finds joy in sharing the comedy experience with family [40:19].

On Golf with Jason Day:

• Greg is invited to play at Double Eagle (Columbus), is surprised to be paired with Jason Day (PGA pro, major winner).

• Comic tension of not wanting to “put it in the bushes” off the first tee, and the relief of middling through with a safe shot.

  • Quote: “All I was thinking was please, please, don’t put it in the bushes on the first.” [41:29, Garcia]

• The round includes banter about strokes, side bets, and the ego check of trying to compete against a pro, with plenty of laughter.

  • Quote: “He didn’t tell me he gave you strokes… That’s how confident he is.” [46:57, Garcia]

• Tony draws a parallel to Annika Sorenstam playing against men, and “getting the first laugh” on stage or on the golf course [43:06].

• Reflects on the generosity of pros like Jason Day coming to shows and the rare experience of almost “beating” him (with 27 strokes) [47:06].

8. Listener Mailbag and Community

[48:11 - 56:11]

• The episode closes with Tony reading a lively mailbag, packed with running gags and updates from podcast “littles.”
• Topics include: the ongoing minor league “Lecheeserie Night” tradition, mistaken celebrity deaths (“Are we sure it was Robert Redford?”), legendary Orioles player Jim Gentile, Post Sex Nachos concert plans, and a banana tree in Florida.
• Listeners riff on recurring jokes about Tony’s age, obscure baseball trivia, and Greg's Chipotle campaign ("I'm the Erin Brockovich of mid-level fast food in southern Virginia" [55:57, Garcia]).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Tony on life, golf, and happiness:

  • "After I was done, I had a BLT turkey club sandwich, and it made me so happy. I had a beer and a turkey." [14:01]
  • "This is the secret to life. You lower your expectations… now you’re elated that you can digest pork." [14:39, Garcia]

• Wilbon on NFL rookie QBs and public impatience:

  • “People are stupid now. They don’t realize what Troy Aikman... reminded us about his rookie year...” [19:50]

• Greg on stand-up nerves:

  • “If you mess up, you mess up, but don’t go up there and look nervous because that's the worst thing.” [32:13]

• Tony on NFL betting misfortunes:

  • "If you bet the Rams, you are just poking your eyes out with a cocktail fork." [08:25]

• On aging and mortality (tongue-in-cheek):

  • "And then before you know it, you’ll be dead." [15:00, Garcia]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:11–05:58] — Listener emails: golf invites, cheese debates
• [06:27–15:04] — NFL drama: Sunday surprises, betting heartbreaks
• [10:16–12:52] — MLB talk: Nats-Mets, Jacob Young heroics
• [12:52–15:12] — Existential Golf Reflections & Sandwiches
• [16:17–21:06] — Wilbon: Bears, watching with team legends
• [25:16–29:31] — College Football: Dabo's Hot Seat, Money in Coaching
• [31:10–47:32] — Greg Garcia: Stand-up, Arena Shows, Golf with Jason Day
• [48:11–56:11] — Listener mailbag, community, in-jokes

Tone & Style

Conversational, wry, and deeply self-referential. Frequent callbacks to prior episodes, inside jokes, and meta-commentary about the very nature of the show reinforce its community and long-running appeal. The guests’ personalities shine—Tony remains cantankerous and reflective, Wilbon is generous and nostalgic, Garcia is wry and unflappable.

Useful for New Listeners?

Yes! This episode offers a full sampler: sports analysis, show folklore, heartfelt and hilarious storytelling, a window into the personalities of the hosts, and a feeling of being welcomed into a long-running community. Whether you care for NFL drama, nostalgic ruminations, or the idiosyncrasies of stand-up and showbiz, you’ll find a memorable story here.