“Turkey Club”

Summary

The Tony Kornheiser Show — “Turkey Club”

Date: September 22, 2025
Guests: Michael Wilbon, Greg Garcia

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Tony Kornheiser Show balances the signature blend of sports talk, nostalgic stories, comedic banter, and listener engagement. The show covers NFL and college football (with a focus on dramatic finishes and legendary players), MLB news, personal tales from the hosts and guests, and an in-depth segment with TV writer Greg Garcia about his recent (mis)adventures in stand-up comedy and golf. The conversational, meandering tone brings listeners into the familiar world of “Tony’s living room,” complete with in-jokes and reflections on aging, sports heartbreak, and the sublime joy of a good turkey club sandwich.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Listener Emails, Cheese, and Golf Invitations

[01:11 - 05:58]

• Tony reads emails from dedicated listeners Holly Herman and Ira Goldberg. Holly invites Tony and Mike to Mountain Lake Club (a Seth Raynor golf course in Florida), sparking a lively discussion about Raynor designs and exclusive golf culture.

  • Quote: “Wilbon will be very comfortable in a gated community. It’s a very special place and pretty unknown to many.” [01:27, Tony]

• Ira Goldberg reminisces about growing up near Tony’s relatives on Long Island and offers a comical cheese connection.

• Cabot Creamery sends Tony cottage cheese and golf balls, which leads into banter about everyone’s relationship to cottage cheese.

  • Quote: “Do you like cottage cheese, Greg? …No. You don’t like cottage. Okay, so then this won’t help.” [03:04, Tony & Greg]

• Stickers from the podcast community (“Spudster Olney,” a play on Buster Olney) bring delight to the hosts and a rapid-fire exchange of inside jokes.

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2. NFL Sunday Recap: Drama by the Field Goal

[06:27 - 15:04]

• Tony laments the initially dull-looking NFL Sunday slate, which erupted into one of the most thrilling afternoons he could recall—with multiple “walk-off” field goals and bizarre betting bad beats. The conversation zeros in on the Rams-Eagles game:

  • Quote: “If you bet the Rams, you are just poking your eyes out with a cocktail fork. It’s just awful.” [08:25, Tony]
  • Rams blowing a 27-6 lead and a rare blocked field-goal touchdown upends both the game and many bets.
  • Quote: “Scott Van Pelt uses that phrase, bad beats. Yeah, you lose right there… in the wink of an eye on the rarest play imaginable.” [07:52, Tony]

• The group trades bets and predictions for the upcoming Monday night game (Detroit at Baltimore) and critiques the Giants’ continued poor performance.

• Short, funny asides about memorable (or forgettable) quarterbacks spark quick laughs (e.g., “Scatter Boo,” [09:38]).

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3. MLB Notes: Nats-Mets, Fielding Heroics, and Managerial Futures

[10:16 - 12:52]

• Tony and Michael discuss the Nationals’ back-to-back one-run wins over the Mets:

  • Quote: “The Mets are horrendous. If they don’t make the wild card, well, you gotta fire the manager anyway.” [10:28, Tony]

• Outfielder Jacob Young’s spectacular catches are assessed in detail, igniting a debate about his future—“great fielder, can’t hit.”

  • Quote: “He’s a great fielder... He’s an even better fielder than Michael A. Taylor. He’s better.” [12:11, Tony]

• Greg jokingly suggests trading Young to the “Savannah Bananas,” keeping things light.

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4. Reflections on Aging, Golf, and Sandwiches

[12:52 - 15:12]

• Tony shares how playing golf leads to existential rumination—balancing the joy of a respectable round (“My par for me is 90… I birdied 16.” [13:06]) with the looming reality of not being able to play forever.
• Salvation is found in simple pleasures: “After I was done, I had a BLT turkey club sandwich, and it made me so happy. I had a beer and a turkey.” [14:01]
• Greg chimes in with sarcastic wisdom:
  • Quote: “This is the secret to life. You lower your expectations. You used to want to be a scratch golfer… now you're elated that you can digest pork.” [14:39, Garcia]

5. Wilbon’s Bears Experience and NFL Realities

[16:17 - 21:06]

• Wilbon recounts attending a Bears game with all-time greats Richard Dent and Otis Wilson. Describes the camaraderie, historic legacy, and excitement of watching with legends, still beloved 40 years after the ’85 team.

  • Quote: “To watch with them in Chicago, in Soldier Field… you just hear what they think in real life time as they root for the team. It’s just fabulous.” [17:10, Wilbon]

• Wilbon notes how Bears rookie QB Caleb Williams had his best game, and how fans' impatience with rookie QBs contrasts with past legends’ struggles.

  • Quote: “People are stupid now. They don’t realize what Troy Aikman or Peyton Manning were like as rookies… Everybody thinks he’s gonna be great tomorrow. That’s not how it works.” [19:50, Wilbon/Tony]

• Tony details the hideousness of NFL “bad beats” and blocked kicks, with more reminiscing about wild finishes from previous decades.

6. Coaching Futures and College Football

[25:16 - 29:31]

• The guys debate Clemson coach Dabo Swinney’s tenure—whether it’s time to leave after years of success but recent decline.

  • Quote: “I think it’s expiration date has been reached… It’s time to go.” [25:30, Wilbon]

• Money, buyouts, and donor culture in today’s college football are dissected:

  • Quote: “If you have a big-time school… you may have to pay a gymnast $500,000 a year. So you gotta have money now.” [28:08, Wilbon]

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7. Greg Garcia Segment: Stand-Up Comedy and Golf with the Pros

[31:10 - 47:32]

On Doing Stand-Up:

• Greg Garcia opens up about his recent foray into stand-up, how terrifying it is, and his trial-by-fire at a Nate Bargatze arena show in Baltimore (~14,000 people).

  • Quote: “All day long, I’d just been psyching myself up… Don’t go up there and look nervous. If you mess up, you mess up, but don’t look nervous because that's the worst thing.” [32:13, Garcia]

• He discusses the difference between arena and club shows, audience expectations for “clean” acts, and how his writing for television both helps and differs from performing live.

  • Quote: “I'm up there just kind of, you know, faking it to some degree… but it's a lot of fun.” [35:52, Garcia]
  • Quip from Mike O’Malley (relayed by Greg): “You’ve been a standup for 35 years—just sitting down.” [37:01]
  • Greg: “When I’m with Nate, people are there to laugh… Most people start standup in open mics and it’s horrible.” [38:02]

• Greg recounts performing with his sons and finds joy in sharing the comedy experience with family [40:19].

On Golf with Jason Day:

• Greg is invited to play at Double Eagle (Columbus), is surprised to be paired with Jason Day (PGA pro, major winner).

• Comic tension of not wanting to “put it in the bushes” off the first tee, and the relief of middling through with a safe shot.

  • Quote: “All I was thinking was please, please, don’t put it in the bushes on the first.” [41:29, Garcia]

• The round includes banter about strokes, side bets, and the ego check of trying to compete against a pro, with plenty of laughter.

  • Quote: “He didn’t tell me he gave you strokes… That’s how confident he is.” [46:57, Garcia]

• Tony draws a parallel to Annika Sorenstam playing against men, and “getting the first laugh” on stage or on the golf course [43:06].

• Reflects on the generosity of pros like Jason Day coming to shows and the rare experience of almost “beating” him (with 27 strokes) [47:06].

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8. Listener Mailbag and Community

[48:11 - 56:11]

• The episode closes with Tony reading a lively mailbag, packed with running gags and updates from podcast “littles.”
• Topics include: the ongoing minor league “Lecheeserie Night” tradition, mistaken celebrity deaths (“Are we sure it was Robert Redford?”), legendary Orioles player Jim Gentile, Post Sex Nachos concert plans, and a banana tree in Florida.
• Listeners riff on recurring jokes about Tony’s age, obscure baseball trivia, and Greg's Chipotle campaign ("I'm the Erin Brockovich of mid-level fast food in southern Virginia" [55:57, Garcia]).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Tony on life, golf, and happiness:

  • "After I was done, I had a BLT turkey club sandwich, and it made me so happy. I had a beer and a turkey." [14:01]
  • "This is the secret to life. You lower your expectations… now you’re elated that you can digest pork." [14:39, Garcia]

• Wilbon on NFL rookie QBs and public impatience:

  • “People are stupid now. They don’t realize what Troy Aikman... reminded us about his rookie year...” [19:50]

• Greg on stand-up nerves:

  • “If you mess up, you mess up, but don’t go up there and look nervous because that's the worst thing.” [32:13]

• Tony on NFL betting misfortunes:

  • "If you bet the Rams, you are just poking your eyes out with a cocktail fork." [08:25]

• On aging and mortality (tongue-in-cheek):

  • "And then before you know it, you’ll be dead." [15:00, Garcia]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:11–05:58] — Listener emails: golf invites, cheese debates
• [06:27–15:04] — NFL drama: Sunday surprises, betting heartbreaks
• [10:16–12:52] — MLB talk: Nats-Mets, Jacob Young heroics
• [12:52–15:12] — Existential Golf Reflections & Sandwiches
• [16:17–21:06] — Wilbon: Bears, watching with team legends
• [25:16–29:31] — College Football: Dabo's Hot Seat, Money in Coaching
• [31:10–47:32] — Greg Garcia: Stand-up, Arena Shows, Golf with Jason Day
• [48:11–56:11] — Listener mailbag, community, in-jokes

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Tone & Style

Conversational, wry, and deeply self-referential. Frequent callbacks to prior episodes, inside jokes, and meta-commentary about the very nature of the show reinforce its community and long-running appeal. The guests’ personalities shine—Tony remains cantankerous and reflective, Wilbon is generous and nostalgic, Garcia is wry and unflappable.

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Useful for New Listeners?

Yes! This episode offers a full sampler: sports analysis, show folklore, heartfelt and hilarious storytelling, a window into the personalities of the hosts, and a feeling of being welcomed into a long-running community. Whether you care for NFL drama, nostalgic ruminations, or the idiosyncrasies of stand-up and showbiz, you’ll find a memorable story here.

Transcript

[Tony Kornheiser]

Hey, it's Tony. If you're hearing this, it means that Nigel has flushed the mouse and forgot to have me record something new. So who knows who our guests will be today? Maybe Mick Jagger, Sandy Koufax, Dalai Lama. Long hitter, The Lama? Probably not, but I guess you'll have to tune in to find out. But first, let's keep the sales weasels happy.

[Greg Garcia]

Previously on the Tony Kornheiser Show.

[Michael Wilbon]

I mean, a perfect example is when they went to Washington D.C. one weekend and they get to the hotel and there's a letter for Madden from Ethel Kennedy, the widow of rfk. And she writes, john, we're big fans of yours. We'd love to have dinner with you this weekend. One of the kids looks up at Matt and says, geez, John, are you gonna have dinner with Ethel Kennedy? And he pauses for a second and he says, nah, I'm gonna have Mexican food with you guys.

[Tony Kornheiser]

The Tony Kornheiser show is on now. Alrighty then. Greg Garcia is with us today. We will talk to Greg at great length. We'll do a whole segment with Greg, you know, and if Greg can't fill it, then that's. We're done. Because we don't know. All we have is Wilbourne, and we know what Wilbourne's gonna talk about. The Bears. You think?

[Michael Wilbon]

Yeah.

[Tony Kornheiser]

So I have a bunch of things to talk about. First, some nice emails from Holly Herman. For example, my husband and I have enjoyed your show, pardon the interruption, for many years. You and Mike are regulars on the living room. I was not able to find an email address for your friend and colleague Mike. We're in Florida during the winter, November through April. We believe you and Mike are golfers. We'd like to extend a following invitation to come and play our course, Mountain Lake Club. And about the course, it's a Seth Raynor course built in 1916. Gated community of 128 homes. Wilbond will be very comfortable in a gated community. It's a very special place and pretty unknown to many. Michael, are you aware of Mountain Lake?

[Michael]

I am aware, but I was not included in this invitation, so I'll just.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Well, your name is Michael. It could be for you could sneak in. Yeah, it could be for you. Did you say Mountain Lake or Dexter Lake? I said Mountain Lake. I said Mountain Lake.

[Michael]

Always fun to see how the template holes that Raynor incorporated into all of his designs play in different regions. So to see some of those, you know, the B REIT screen in a Southern chorus, whether it includes the swale in the green or in front of the green.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Cool.

[Michael]

To find out.

[Tony Kornheiser]

This is why he's got to play.

[Greg Garcia]

It's amazing, right? And also, this lovely woman. I mean, if she couldn't find. Let's make sure you bring email. Maybe we can just sneak her onto one of his text chains. Yeah, she could just be an interloper.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Richard Dent.

[Greg Garcia]

Yeah, get her. Just get her on there.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Also, my name is Ira Goldberg. I've been a huge fan of yours for years. I'm 68 years old. I live in Newport Beach, California. But I grew up in Freeport, Long island, and lived across the street from Milton and Bernice Kornheiser. I also remember their daughter Nancy. So he remembers Nancy, but not Alan, her twin brother. Fraternal twin brother. These were the best of times for me growing up on Long Island. And both Milton and Bernice were incredibly kind to me and very dear friends to my family. On another note, I'm also first cousins with David Dorman and the whole dormant cheese empire. Oh, well, you should have sent us cheese. Like, that's how it works. You should have sent us. Because I'll tell a Cabot cheese story in a little while. Anyway, this is a very nice note, and thank you, Iraq. His name was Stanley. His name was actually Stanley Milton Kornheiser.

[Greg Garcia]

So.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Okay. But I don't know that anyone ever called him Milton, but he was my uncle, My uncle, and my aunt. Very, very nice. Speaking of Cabot, we got. Do you like cottage cheese, Greg? No. You don't like cottage. Okay, so then this won't help.

[Michael]

Texture thing.

[Greg Garcia]

Yeah, I think it is a texture thing. I. I can't even remember the last time I had cottage cheese, but I think I just look at it and go, no, no.

[Michael Wilbon]

Okay.

[Greg Garcia]

I don't know if it's even gotten further than that.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Michael. You'll.

[Michael]

I have not had it in years. But you'll just eat it straight up. You don't even mix.

[Tony Kornheiser]

No, no, no. I eat it. I like cottage cheese. So this comes from Clay Whitney from the Cabot Creamery Cooperative. Kulan. Claire Natola alerted me to the fact that your loyal little Kristin Campbell of Boston Lake, New York, suggested you try Cabot cottage cheese. You may not realize that Claire works for the Vermont Cheese Council, which is the guild of Vermont's licensed professional cheesemakers. It will likely come as no surprise to you, a person who once dubbed her a fairy spirit, that all she needed to do was hear the name Cabot, and she immediately started waving her magic wand. Therefore, enclosed please find A box of that for your enjoyment. Balducci's in Bethesda is the closest place you'll be able to find Cabot cottage cheese once you've exhausted the supply. But I think you should just throw your weight around a Calvert Woodley and demand that they start carrying it. So I opened one of them. We got three of them. That's right. It's really nice. I opened one and I liked it. And I would give some away, but if you guys don't like, I'll give one to Michael. They also sent. And this was the most important thing. They sent golf balls. Oh, well, V1s right. Because. Because I go out and I. At various points at any golf course, I lose balls. You know, for example, Greg sent me last year, about a year ago, the Amigos de Garcia golf balls. These were Vi's golf balls.

[Greg Garcia]

Oh, vice. Yeah, vice.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm down to my last one. So Cabot Cheese came through and I'm really happy.

[Greg Garcia]

I got some Pro V1s with the. With the logo. So I'll send you some of those next.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Oh, did you hold those for out? You didn't give those to me.

[Greg Garcia]

I wanted to see. Good enough. I wanted to see if our friendship lasted and we were still in the courting phase.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Entering leaf rules from Sivan Fescherman, the unofficial ALML software engineer manager that works for that fruit company. Ahoy, Captain. Hope the seas have been good and that the wind is at your back. At least on the golf course, as promised, please find hocus pocus junk stickers. I also threw in a few Spudster Only stickers. Hope you like them. It's my humble thank you for years of entertainment. These were great. I showed him the Wilbon. He didn't. Didn't care, of course, but I showed him to Buster only. I sent a picture of them to Buster only. He was so happy. It's a picture, a drawing of Buster. He is identified as Spudster Olney. He is holding milk and a potato, which is just wonderful. So grateful for that. And my friend Barry Weinberg, his sister Carolyn Weinberg is the CEO at the Quarter Main that we talked about. Where was that Quarter Main?

[Michael]

Bethesda Row.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Bethesda Row, right next to Bethesda Bagels and says thanks for the shout out about your podcast on your podcast about Quarter Main Coffee Roasters. We are next to Bethesda Bagels in downtown Bethesda. Someone on the podcast has not tried our coffee, so we wanted to give a taste of our locally roasted coffee. Barry Weinberg's our cousin. We got your contact information him. And this is very nice. I only drink decaf and this is the real stuff. So this is going home with Michael. Yeah. Because Michael and Liz drink regular coffee and that's. And that's nice. You, you just, you don't drink it. I'm like you. I can't drink caffeine. So let me get into the regular show and let me just start with the games yesterday. We spent Wilbot and I spent the large majority of the week talking about the schedule, the Sunday schedule, and saying how unattractive it was. The Monday game, tonight's game, Detroit at Baltimore is by far better than anything that looked like a matchup yesterday. And they were just. There's nothing. In fact, a couple of times during the week we did show shows on. Well, if you had to watch, what would you watch? And there were a number of games for a variety of reasons that I thought I would watch. It turned out to be spectacular. There were field goal kicks blocked all over the place. One return. The Los Angeles Rams are ahead of the Philadelphia Eagles at one point, 27 to 6. In Philadelphia they are going, they are down one or two. Whatever it is, they're going for a last second. There were four different games that ended with 00 on the clock on field goals. 00 or this. They were up 27 6. They are getting four and a half on the road. Getting four and a half. So at one point, if you're up 27 6, you're up over 20 points, right? Yeah. At the end of the game, they're going for a field goal that's going to give them a victory.

[Michael]

It's after the Eagles scored on fourth down.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, the, the Eagles and the Chargers were men among boys yesterday. They came back from large deficits late. So they're going to win the game. And even if they lose the game, they don't make the field goal. They're going to cover, right? They're going to cover because it's a one point or two point game. They'll cover it plus four and a half. The field goal is block and a 700 pound guy runs 50 yards into the end zone. So I mean, Scott Van Pelt uses that phrase, bad beats. Yeah, you lose right there. You. They don't cover in the, in the wink of an eye on the rarest play imaginable. They don't cover. If you bet the Rams, you are just poking your eyes out with a cocktail fork. It's just awful.

[Greg Garcia]

Yeah, I mean, bet Those Eagles.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Was that Chuck?

[Michael]

Did Chuck have the Rams?

[Tony Kornheiser]

Let me see.

[Michael Wilbon]

He did.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I don't. Did he? Yeah. Oh, so he must be Chuck Todd. Yeah. He had the Rams plus three and it was three and a half. He was going to win.

[Michael]

But Reginald knew something was going to win.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Reginald had the Eagles. Yeah, he was going to win by the every. And Chuck Todd. If Chuck Todd loses tonight, all four people or three people and a monkey that we put on the shoulder pick. Games will be under.500 this week.

[Greg Garcia]

Who does Chuck have tonight?

[Tony Kornheiser]

Chuck has Detroit plus.

[Greg Garcia]

Okay, I have Baltimore minus four and a half. And to finish a four team parlay, I hit Washington minus three. I bought the hook with the Chargers, so I had them with three and.

[Tony Kornheiser]

A half and they won.

[Greg Garcia]

And then who was last? I had Kansas City -6.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Kansas City won by 20 points.

[Greg Garcia]

So tonight we'll see.

[Tony Kornheiser]

The Giants stink.

[Greg Garcia]

Yes.

[Tony Kornheiser]

How does this guy keep his job? Brian Daboll. They're no good. If only they had a quarterback like, say, Daniel Jones, who now is three. And oh, they've now punted once in three games.

[Greg Garcia]

It's all about Scatter Boo.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I liked him.

[Greg Garcia]

Yeah, I used to lose money on him when he was at Arizona State. All the time.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Really?

[Greg Garcia]

Yeah, all the time. I would bet against Arizona State and then I'd forget. And then I'd turn it on and.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Be like, oh, Scatter Boo. That guy. Chargers win at the buzzer. Buccaneers win at the buzzer. 49ers win at the buzzer. Eagles win at the buzzer. Browns win the buzzer. Five different games. None of these games was particularly attractive on Thursday or Friday or Saturday. They really weren't. But they ended up being just fabulous games. Fabulous games in baseball. I should talk about the Nats.

[Michael]

The big series win.

[Tony Kornheiser]

The Nats beat the Mets Saturday and Sunday. How about that? By one run in both games. I think Saturday they only got their.

[Michael]

Runs through errors until the extra innings.

[Tony Kornheiser]

The Mets are horrendous.

[Michael]

Tied for the last wild cards.

[Tony Kornheiser]

They were 25 games over.500 at one point. Their last 40 games they're like, I don't know, 13 and 27. They're really, really bad. If they don't make the wild card, well, you got to fire the manager anyway. You got to fire a lot of.

[Michael]

So this is where it gets interesting. Their final six games, they are going to Chicago, the next three. And then they have the Marlins, who they have not played well this season. And the Reds, on the other hand, they have the Pirates. And then they close with the brewers, who may not really need that series.

[Tony Kornheiser]

No, they clinch.

[Michael]

They are with Philly.

[Tony Kornheiser]

They've already clinched. Yeah. So that. Yeah. In that game yesterday, I did not see it live. I watched some of the game, but very little Jacob Young, who would be an all Star if he could hit.250. He can't. He's just not a hitter. He's got one home run all year, the Padres, you know, so he makes a catch. It's as good a catch as. As I've ever seen. He goes over the center field wall, brings the ball back against the Mets, then drops the ball before. Oh, yes, you would say it's not an official catch. I mean, he brings the ball back, but he loses the ball. The ball falls almost to the ground, but he kicks it into the air pack. He sacks it and. Yes. And catches it. Yeah, it's an unbelievably great catch. He made another one. He went over the wall later in the game and took a home run.

[Michael]

In the ninth inning to save the game. Yeah, I don't know if that one would have gone over because the ball already seemed to be arcing down and his momentum carries it to the, you know, that little orange line. But that first catch, he said he was just going back to his, you know, AAU soccer days where he's like, you're just trying to kick at anything and somehow it doesn't hit the ground and it doesn't return to hit the wall.

[Tony Kornheiser]

He's a great fielder. Yeah, but what do you do? In other words, if you have hassle and you have Cruz and you have Wood and you have Lyle, what do you need with him? What do you. If he can't hit, what do you need with him? It's a dilemma because he is a dilemma. He's a great fielder. He's an even better fielder than Michael A. Taylor. He's better.

[Michael]

Well, he just has. Once every couple of weeks he has one of these. It's the top of the page catches. He had that Spider man catch a few weeks back and it just.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Great.

[Greg Garcia]

Maybe trade him to the Savannah Bananas.

[Tony Kornheiser]

He's so good.

[Greg Garcia]

Sounds like he would. I don't know if he has the.

[Michael]

Hair for the Bananas.

[Greg Garcia]

Well, he could wear a wig, but I mean, you're going to kick things into your glove, I think really good. You're set for that.

[Tony Kornheiser]

So I played yesterday. I played yesterday and I played on Saturday. I played okay. I mean, okay for me. My par for me is 90, so I had I89 one day in 93. I mean, it was okay. I was really.

[Michael]

You played all 18 yesterday?

[Tony Kornheiser]

I played all 18. I was really happy. I birdied 16. Oh, no. Yeah, I was really happy. But, you know, coming home, because I. I sort of turned happiness into misery. I think, Greg, you understand how that works. Yeah. I just occurred to me, I said, you know, I'm alone with your thoughts. I'm not going to be able to do this for much longer. I'm really not any good, and it's the only thing I like, and I'm not good at it. And then what will happen? You know, what will happen? What will I do? So I got depressed. You know, I played pretty well, and then for no reason, I got depressed. But I did something that I now have enjoyed doing two days in a row. And Michael will understand this because he knows me well. After I was done, I had a BLT turkey club sandwich, and it made me so happy. I had a beer and a turkey.

[Michael]

To go for the Junior.

[Tony Kornheiser]

No, the big one. I went for the big one and I just sat and ate it and was just so happy that I could do that.

[Michael]

Oh, at that point, you're also probably watching at that, you know, the second watch commander's game.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Well, yeah, well, there's three or four TVs. And I went to a couple of people who were in private sort of areas, and I said, be okay if we turn that to the red zone? I go, no, no, we want to watch Washington. Okay, I understand. I mean, it's in. I sort of get that. But there was one red zone TV on, so I was able to watch that and devour this, and it's a huge sandwich. Do you ever have days like this?

[Greg Garcia]

This had the secret to life. You lower your expectations. You used to want to be a scratch golfer, and now you're elated that you can digest pork. This is what you do.

[Tony Kornheiser]

It was so good.

[Greg Garcia]

This is how we cope.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I didn't have to eat for the rest of the day. I ate at around 1. I didn't have to eat for the rest of the day.

[Greg Garcia]

And the good news is. And then before you know it, you'll be dead.

[Tony Kornheiser]

It's all. It's.

[Greg Garcia]

Everything's good.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, yeah, that's good. So anyway, all right, we'll take a break and Michael Wilbon will join us.

[Greg Garcia]

That's right.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I'm Tony Kornheiser.

[Greg Garcia]

You're listening to the Tony Kornheiser Show.

[Tony Kornheiser]

This is our friend Drew Pictures. That's the name he goes by. His name is first name is Andrew. So it's easy to make it. Drew Drew Pictures. That works. He has released his first ep, a collection of three songs called Broadwood Sketches. The name is a nod to the home his his home, Broadwood, is the street he lives on. He's been working on these songs over the last two years. You can listen to them on Spotify or on Bandcamp and read about inspiration, lyrics and credits on my website. Drew Pictures Music this is a song called How Did We Get Here? About about reconciling the past with the present and navigating the changing tides of a relationship plays in Michael Wilbon. The segment with Wilbon is brought to you by FanDuel Sportsbook. Make every moment more. We talked about this. I said I would start with college, but I'm not going to start with college. Remind me to get to college because we have to get to Clemson, we have to get to Miami. But you must have had one of the great experiences of your adult life yesterday, going to a Bears game. Tell the people who you were with. And the kid Caleb Williams has the best game he's had as a pro and now he's. Now you see why Ben Johnson was hired. So go ahead. Who'd you sit with?

[Michael Wilbon]

Yeah, well, as I sometimes do other things in Chicago, two people who become my friends, pretty close friends over the last, I don't know, few decades, are Richard Dent and Otis Wilson. Richard Dent has something called a gold jacket. And I believe, I believe this. Maybe there's somebody more recently now, but for the longest time he was the only defensive player to win super bowl mvp.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Oh, is that right?

[Michael Wilbon]

Only one in history.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Okay.

[Michael Wilbon]

And he and Otis are, you know, just.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I thought there was, I thought there was a Cowboy DB who won that with two interceptions in the super bowl at one point. I could be wrong. I could be wrong.

[Michael Wilbon]

Well, that was after debt. That was certainly after Dent was 86. So. But you know, they are, you know, they are the Bears in all the ways. They still support the team. They come, they know, they go to practice occasionally. And it's just to watch with them in Chicago, in Soldier Field, to be sitting with them, it's just, you know, there's a lot of stuff you and I get to do over the decades, Tony, that never gets tired to me to watch with guys who are all time greats and just hear what they think in real life time as they root for the team. It's just fabulous. So. And I actually feel like I know more stuff today that I'm ever going to know all those days, those Mondays after I've sat with Dent and Otis particularly and sometimes I think I sent you a picture one day when I sat with Dent, Otis and Mike Singletary. And you know, it's pretty heady stuff here still. Those guys, they walk in a room. It's 40 years. This is the 40th anniversary of the famous Bears 85 team. They can walk in a room and people will stand and applaud.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Now isn't that nice? Isn't that nice?

[Michael Wilbon]

It's really cool. So anyway, so did that and it was great. Before the game, I spent some time with Caleb Williams dad, Carl, who I've gotten to know as, as Gonzaga fathers. One is. One is probably done a much better job than the other as just a dad to this point. And because I got high school fathers and I root for the kid, I root for no matter where he played.

[Tony Kornheiser]

He had the best day in his pro career, right?

[Michael Wilbon]

Yeah, yeah. He had four touchdowns, no picks, you know, threw for what, 298. Could have been 289, something like that. It could have been, you know, 450. They didn't. They didn't. They did something they had not done in the first two games and they did something they're going to have to do, which is run the ball. They didn't do it with any great success. They averaged three yards a carry while the Cowboys averaged like six point something a carry on the rushing attempts. But they're going to have to do that to give Caleb Williams some time, keep the pass rush off of him, set up play action for all the reasons. That's what Ben Johnson's teams in Detroit did. Jameer Gibson and David Montgomery, they hammer you with the run and then, and then the quarterback is able to just slice and dice you. So they did that to account a toothless Cowboys team yesterday, which made me really happy. So, yeah, so they look, they. I was worried they were going to get off to a 05 star.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yes.

[Michael Wilbon]

You said that this stuff doesn't happen overnight. People are stupid now. They don't realize what Troy Aikman has reminded us about his rookie year. Peyton Manning has reminded us about his rookie year, what they were like as players, how far they had to go. And people don't remember anything. They just, you know, he's going to be great tomorrow.

[Tony Kornheiser]

That's not, that's not how it works. And I'm going to give everybody the perfect example. CJ Stroud, that team by now was supposed to be a Super bowl contender. That's what everybody said two years ago, yeah, C.J. stroud has gone backwards. The Houston Texas have gone backwards. Who did they lose to yesterday? They lost a game, you know, that they figured to win. And they don't score any points. Yeah, they don't score any points. Everybody looks at Michael Penix Jr. And says, oh, yeah, he's going to be great. They sat him down in the fourth quarter. He wasn't any good at all. It's.

[Michael Wilbon]

It doesn't have like six starts. Yeah, it doesn't, you know, JJ McCarthy wins his debut and then go crazy. It's like, stop. Yeah, stop. And so, you know, so anyway, we saw Tony, we saw yesterday what Caleb Williams can be and what we. People who believe in a kid, and I absolutely do believe he will be, but not every week. Right now.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Here is the problem with your day yesterday. You have tickets to the Bears game. It's a 4 o' clock game. You have to get there. When you get there, you miss. You miss the end of the one o' clock games.

[Michael Wilbon]

No, I did not miss the end of the one. Did you see you. I told you I was going to go back up to the suite and watch the. Watch Ritz. And we got four, four, four large screens in the suite.

[Tony Kornheiser]

There were.

[Michael Wilbon]

No, no, no, five. I watched all of it.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Unbelievable. There were five games that ended at the buzzer. Have you ever in your. Have you ever. I've never seen this. I've never in my life seen a game end on a blocked field goal. Touchdown. I'd never seen that.

[Michael Wilbon]

Wow. Yeah, that's what the. There's a game. Blocked field goal. Yeah. Tony, here's the game. I remember Packers, Bears, sometime in the, I'm going to say 70s. Remember the kicker, Chester Markhold?

[Tony Kornheiser]

Sure, sure, I know the name.

[Michael Wilbon]

Okay. He's attempting a kick, which I believe Dan Hampton blocked. I haven't thought of this in 40 years. And it happened longer than that ago. Dan Hampton blocks the kick, but he blocks it back into Chester Marco's hands, the kicker who runs for a touchdown.

[Tony Kornheiser]

So the packers win the game on a touchdown.

[Michael Wilbon]

I think that's. I think that happened when I was. I think it happened 40 years ago because Dan Hampton did it. Dan Hampton and I had the same class in college. 80. And maybe it happened in Hampton State, third or fourth year. It happened. It happened before the 85 Bears, before they became great against the Packers. I gotta look that up. I think I had the details of that right. I think it was like a 6, 3 game.

[Tony Kornheiser]

There were so many field goals Blocked yesterday.

[Michael Wilbon]

So many blocked. Yeah.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Never seen that. There's so many of them.

[Michael Wilbon]

Yeah, it was. It was. It was. It was. It was quite the exciting and unpredictable day. And my pool picks are just hammered.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Oh, sure.

[Michael Wilbon]

Oh, right.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah. I mean, a. Cleveland beat Green Bay. What? What?

[Michael Wilbon]

That's a result. That's the second biggest result cared about here.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Right.

[Michael Wilbon]

In Chicago yesterday. Right.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Cause it's division for the packers to be.

[Michael Wilbon]

Yeah. Not just division. It's them. It's the Cheeseheads. And they lost it to Cleveland. That was really a big deal in the way it went down. And. Yeah. With the Philadelphia thing is. Wow. And the Rams, again, can't be Philadelphia when they probably have outplayed them so that you don't.

[Tony Kornheiser]

You're not a better. But the Rams are favored by four and a half. They're going to cover all game long. They lose the points on this. If you're a Rams better, you go crazy. It was the other way. What the Bears were.

[Michael Wilbon]

Philly was favorable.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah. No, but.

[Greg Garcia]

No.

[Tony Kornheiser]

The Rams are getting four and a half. The Rams are getting four and a half. So even. Even if their field goal doesn't go, they're the people who bet with them. They're locked. They're good. They're great.

[Michael Wilbon]

Right.

[Tony Kornheiser]

And this incredibly odd ending happens and they lose the game and they. And the betters lose the bet. All right, I told you. Well, let me just get to one other thing. I understand Tennessee isn't any good, but Indianapolis is now three and.

[Michael Wilbon]

Oh, yeah.

[Tony Kornheiser]

And Daniel Jones looks good. He looks good.

[Michael Wilbon]

He could be. You know, they could be this year's Minnesota. You know, I mean, that's. That's what they. They could be. I mean, they could also be three and three.

[Tony Kornheiser]

They could be. Yeah.

[Michael Wilbon]

But that division is. Is certainly winnable.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yes.

[Michael Wilbon]

For Indianapolis. And you know, Jones keeps doing it. He keeps doing it. And you know, he's getting. He's a. He's a beneficiary of being in a better place for him.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yes.

[Michael Wilbon]

Being coached. You know how sometimes I think coaching is just not what it should be and what it was in the NFL. And so maybe all of this is aligning for him like it did for Sam Darnold last year. Maybe he's. This year. Sam Darnold.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Sam Darnold. Yesterday was great.

[Michael Wilbon]

Yeah.

[Tony Kornheiser]

They scored a million points. So maybe. All right, let. Let me. I promised I'd get to college. We have to deal with Clemson. What are. They cannot lose to Syracuse. Act. It's not possible.

[Michael Wilbon]

That game. I had that game Flagged as a game to pay attention to on Saturday. And there were better games, there were better matchups. But I, when I, when I talked to you, I said, tony, Dabo is going down. It was like halftime. And you said, no, no, no, Clemson's not going to lose to Syracuse. What? You know, I just, I think it's, I think it's time. I think it's expiration date has been reached. Devil Sweeney has been a great coach. Of course, he delivered two national championships and got close two other times. And yet I think it's time to go. I, I do. If I was a Clemson person, I would say thank you. It was wonderful. And by the way, Tony, Clemson did. Could become Nebraska. Remember Nebraska got rid of Frankie Solich.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah. And they never had a winning season after that.

[Michael Wilbon]

10 and 2. We don't, we don't, we don't, we don't like that. Okay, now they could do that and solely. I mean, and Dabo could. Dabble's gonna go somewhere else and he may win somewhere else.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Oh, he's gonna win. So he's a great coach. He's gonna win somewhere else.

[Michael Wilbon]

Yes, but I mean, he's not a great coach right now.

[Tony Kornheiser]

No.

[Michael Wilbon]

And they're nuts because college football fans, all of them, all of us, we're loomed.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Do you think? But like put yourself in his position right now after that crazy meltdown last week, that whiny appearance, do you think. I don't think they'll buy him out because it's so much money. It's like $70 million. But if I were, if I was him, I think I'd want to leave now. I mean, I think it's more likely that he would say, let me out of this deal, I'm leaving.

[Michael Wilbon]

Well, I don't know that you can just be let out. You gotta. Well, pay me half at least 40.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, pay me.

[Michael Wilbon]

Are there. Pete, does Clemson have the money of, say, Texas A and M? No, no, no. But, but you can find some of those. Iptate people down. They gotta have. There's gotta be some people who can come up with $40 million.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Really?

[Michael Wilbon]

Yeah, yeah. And ACC schools don't have that kind of revenue. You know, coming in every year, like Big Ten schools and then SEC schools, it's, it's a fraction, like a third of the media revenue. So it's not, you know, so. But the school's got to come up with it. But then there's some boosters that'll help. There's some, there's some. There's Some good old boys down there who.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I don't think they got money like Texas or Oklahoma money.

[Michael Wilbon]

I don't think they have oil money. No, but Tony, every. All these schools have money. Look, you have to, you have to pay a quarterback now out of High School, $2 million a year. That's just the quarterback, right?

[Tony Kornheiser]

You got to pay other people around them.

[Michael Wilbon]

If you got a big time school, you know, and they're playing in big boy land against SEC and ACC schools, you may have to pay a gymnast $500,000 a year. So you gotta have money now. You have to, you, you have to have streams of revenue to play at that level which get you those kinds of players and buy out those kinds of coaching contracts. It's just that's the business of college sports these days.

[Tony Kornheiser]

It's very lucrative.

[Michael Wilbon]

Yeah, it's. So there's so much money passing hands for various reasons that it's going to be fascinating though, to watch this dabble thing and see, look, maybe it'll blow over. Maybe they go out and they win four or five straight games. It'll just blow over. That happens.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I don't think he's going to be. I don't think he's going to be as defiant this week as he was last week. You do?

[Michael Wilbon]

I do. Yeah.

[Tony Kornheiser]

We'll see.

[Michael Wilbon]

College football coaches, maybe.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I don't know. I think you learn a lesson. All right, I'll talk to you later.

[Michael Wilbon]

All right.

[Tony Kornheiser]

So, Michael Wilbon, boys and girls. We will come back with Greg Garcia and I should say this week's segment with Michael Wilbon has been brought to you by FanDuel Sports Sportsbook. Make every moment more Tron. Ares has arrived. I would like you to meet Ares.

[Michael Wilbon]

The ultimate AI soldier.

[Tony Kornheiser]

He is biblically strong and supremely intelligent. You think you're in control of this?

[Michael Wilbon]

You're not.

[Tony Kornheiser]

On October 10th. What are you?

[Greg Garcia]

My world is coming to destroy yours.

[Drew Pictures]

But I can help you.

[Tony Kornheiser]

The war for our World begins in IMAX.

[Greg Garcia]

TRON.

[Tony Kornheiser]

ARES, rated PG13. May be inappropriate for children under 13.

[Greg Garcia]

Only in theaters October 10th.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yet tickets now.

[Greg Garcia]

You're listening to the Tony Kornheiser Show.

[Tony Kornheiser]

This is Drew Pictures. One more time. Andrew is the name of the guy who's the lead guy. Drew Pictures is fine. It's catchy. This is called she Wants Love. He writes a meditation on longing and complacency. He said, I released these songs as Drew Pictures. They predate my new band, the Lead Extras. But keep an eye out for more coming from our band soon. If you haven't already. Be a big help if you follow us on Instagram, Facebook and TikTok. Michael. If people like drew pictures want to send in their original music for us to play, which we're happy to do, how do they do?

[Michael]

So send us your music by emailing it to jinglesonyquoenizershow.com all right.

[Tony Kornheiser]

We've waited the whole show. We have to talk to Greg at great length. You did something within the last month or so that maybe you've done before, but not as formalized as you've done it now, which is do stand up comedy in front of a big place.

[Greg Garcia]

Yeah.

[Tony Kornheiser]

How did it go? How terrifying is it? And where is the point, if there's a point in the small set that you do, where you go, okay, I'm good.

[Greg Garcia]

You know, it was. It was such a kooky situation. I had no business being up there. I've done this for about four or five months now, thanks to my buddy who. Who insisted I get on stage in Europe and host some shows. And then I've done it a few times at smaller places. And then when he was going to Baltimore to play, it's okay to identify. Yeah, Nate Bargain. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry. Sorry. And. And so when he was going to Baltimore, he was like, oh, you got friends and family there. You should. You should go up. So, you know, it's 14,000 people. It's a big crowd. And so I really had one.

[Tony Kornheiser]

And they don't know, you know, they.

[Greg Garcia]

Don'T know who you are. No idea.

[Michael Wilbon]

Right.

[Greg Garcia]

Nor should they.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Right, that's.

[Greg Garcia]

And so I'm going to go first after the host. The host goes up there and warm.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Now, is the host local or is he someone that travels with Nate?

[Greg Garcia]

Everybody travels with Nate.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Okay.

[Greg Garcia]

Mostly it's guys that have come up with Nate, and he just kind of rotates them around, and they're all very funny, accomplished comedians who have been doing it forever. The host is amazing. This guy, Julian McCullough. He's. He's amazing at it. It's. It's ridiculous. And so he gets up there, and so I'm sitting there ready to go on now, all day long, I've just been psyching myself up. You know, I'm listening to music. I'm walking around Baltimore. I'm trying to not think too much about it, but I kind of had a little chat with myself, and I thought, you know what? I can't be nervous. I can hopefully control that. It's ridiculous that I'm getting up there I have no business there. I know I have 50 friends and family in the arena rooting for me. The comics are rooting for me. Don't screw this up by being nervous. If you mess up, you mess up. But don't go up there and look nervous because that's the worst thing you can do as a stand up comedian. You have to show some confidence. So I kind of convinced myself I deserve to be there and I'm dumb enough to believe it. So I got up there and I had like 40 seconds or so of just pandering to the crowd with local. I mean, I made it.

[Tony Kornheiser]

All your references?

[Greg Garcia]

Yeah, all my references. I made it sound like I grew up in ball. I grew up in Arlington, Virginia. I didn't grow up in Baltimore, but I made it sound like I did. And. And all everything I said was true, but. And the crowd was going nuts with the local references. So that was great. And I was doing this thing that Bargetsy made fun of me. I did the first night, not in the tape that I showed you from the night, but I did something. I convinced myself. I was so confident I would say a joke or a reference. And then I put the mic down all the way at my hip as if I was waiting for the laugh. And. And he was making fun of me for that. And then he said, and sometimes you wouldn't get the reaction you thought. So you could only take the mic halfway down and have to quickly bring it back up. And he was imitating me and you know, look, it went well. I had to do eight minutes. At this point, I probably have about 12 to 15 minutes worth of material. So I honed it down to what I knew would work. I took out one section that I had kind of stumbled on a few weeks earlier in Nashville at this club, Zany's. And I thought, just get it out just because I don't want to stumble on it. You know, it was kind of in my brain and people were laughing, you know, and look, I don't know. I mean, it's 14,000 people. If you make half of them laugh, you sound like you're killing.

[Tony Kornheiser]

That's right.

[Greg Garcia]

So. So it's not like a couple weeks later I did a show with 30 people in this little room. And I was more nervous about that than I was the 14,000. And I. It just. Once I was up there, I just kept going and people were laughing and I got off stage and it was amazing.

[Tony Kornheiser]

So you, you've done how many now?

[Greg Garcia]

Oh, how many? Well, I only did two in the arena.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Oh, total 30.

[Greg Garcia]

Oh, less than that. Probably, probably more. Closer to 20. Have you seen 20?

[Tony Kornheiser]

You've changed the set how many times?

[Greg Garcia]

Oh, I've changed it two or three times. Yeah, because I, I wrote new material after Europe and then since then I kind of, you know, I don't come change it completely, but I add new things and, and, and change it up a little bit.

[Tony Kornheiser]

So like Jerry Seinfeld, Nate Bargazzi is a clean comedian.

[Greg Garcia]

Yes.

[Tony Kornheiser]

He does not curse.

[Greg Garcia]

Yes.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I assume that the people he brings on stage are told everybody's clean.

[Greg Garcia]

It's, it's, you have to be cursed because people are bringing their kids, they expect to see a certain show. It's very clean. So I, I keep things clean. In fact, there's one joke that I do a slightly different version of when I'm not with him. And he loves it, he thinks it's very funny. But he says, ah, maybe a little bit too much. So he helped me kind of hone it to be able to use with his crowd.

[Tony Kornheiser]

You are great at what you do. You write television shows. You direct them as well. I mean, you're totally hands on. You haven't done this?

[Michael Wilbon]

No.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Is there a, is there an end game here? Is there a goal here? Do you want to do this?

[Greg Garcia]

No, I want to keep doing it for fun. You know, I don't think these people work at this for 20 years. You know, they're very accomplished. I, I'm up there just kind of, you know, faking it to some degree, but, but it's a lot of fun. He's doing a comedy cruise. I'm gonna do the comedy cruise.

[Tony Kornheiser]

You going on the water?

[Greg Garcia]

Yeah, we're going on the water.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Watch out for the ice cream.

[Greg Garcia]

I know, I, I've heard, I've heard this is from. It's like a four day cruise. I'm gonna go on that and I'll probably host. Where are you going? Oh, it's some place, some terrible place in Florida to some terrible place in Mexico and back. I think it's pretty much what it is. But it's sold out and all his fans are going and there's going to be like 30 comedians and I know all the guys and it's just going to be fun to hang out and I'm sure I'll host a couple shows and just go on a little bit. And then I'm doing Capital One arena on April 3rd.

[Tony Kornheiser]

You have, you have the brains of, and the training of a writer. It's different.

[Greg Garcia]

Yeah.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Performing is different than writing is. Are you done with writing or is this going to be something?

[Greg Garcia]

No, I'm not. I mean, unless they tell me I'm done with writing, I'm not done with.

[Tony Kornheiser]

So would you do a show about this?

[Greg Garcia]

I don't think so. I think I've got a bunch of ideas I want to do. I'm kind of stuck in a deal right now at a place that doesn't seem to want to do comedy. So I. So I'm very lucky that during this time where I'm a little bit in purgatory career wise, writing for another year, I've been able to stretch my legs and do this, which is a lot of fun. And my buddy Mike o', Malley, the actor, said something very funny to me after Baltimore. He said, how did it go? And I said, I think it went pretty good. And he goes, of course it did. He goes, you've been a standup for 35 years. You've just been sitting down, Which I thought was a very funny thing to say.

[Tony Kornheiser]

So. So I. Yeah, I mean, I don't think you can write funny and not be funny. I don't think that that's possible. And I think one of the great gifts again, and the scariest thing ever, of course, if you're doing stand up comedy. Comedy is you walk into a room and everybody's a Japanese tourist and they speak no English. And you can't, you can't. It's funny, but you can't do anything with it. But people, when they go to these things, they want to laugh.

[Greg Garcia]

Yeah. And I. Yes. And I'm cheating too, because I'm going to, for the most part, unless I'm doing these other small little venues and, and stuff. When I'm with Nate, they are very excited to see Nate. They are there to laugh. They are there to have a good time. They are a very friendly, welcoming crowd. So, you know, most people start standup comedy and they're at open mics and nobody wants to be there, and it's horrible. And your audience is just other comedians who maybe aren't laughing at you. And it's terrible. And I kind of. I very much skipped the line and was. And benefited from that, which was nice.

[Tony Kornheiser]

There are, you know, when you are in grade school, there's, you know, eight people who say, oh, I'm gonna be a professional baseball player. None of them are gonna be professional baseball players. There's a funny guy in every high school. There's 10 funny guys in every high school. They're usually in the principal's office. Because they've been funny during the class. They've been class clowns, and they're all funny, and they all try. Everyone says, I'm gonna try this once. I'm gonna try something. Nate Bargazi is at the top of a pyramid. The pyramid is so big, and he's at the top right now. It's. It's unbelievable because there's a. There's a million guys who are trying this, and they're not getting there. Yeah, right. What is it like to. To be in that. To. Not the inner circle, but the whole travel, the whole thing. It's. It's a huge in motion thing.

[Greg Garcia]

Yeah. And it's a circus and it's.

[Tony Kornheiser]

It's.

[Greg Garcia]

It's a huge production, and it's semi trucks and buses moving from place to place. And I've watched, you know, over the course of the last seven years, I've watched him go from theaters to this, and it's just ridiculous. And he. And he doesn't, you know, he's not lost on it all. He pinches himself every day that this is absolutely ridiculous. And he's incredibly generous to the people around him and. And what have you. But it is. It is a lot. I mean, when you're sitting in an arena and they leap to their feet when he comes on stage and it's 18, 20,000 people losing their minds, it's.

[Tony Kornheiser]

It's crazy. I imagine that's a great adrenaline rush. But I also imagine there are days when somebody in that position, because you got to keep working, even if you're like rock and roll stars, you. You wake up and you say, you know what? I'm done. I mean, I don't. I don't want to do it today. I don't want to do it today. I've just done it 18 straight days. I don't want to do it today.

[Greg Garcia]

Yeah, and it's the same act. I mean, for a year and a half, it can be the same act. Now he owns it and changes things, and he's always constantly working on it because you have to. You have to make it fresh. But, yeah, I'm sure it gets to you sometimes. One of the cool things for me, too, in doing it, you know, both two of my sons do stand up to some degree. My oldest does it quite a bit in New York, and so it's been fun kind of talking with. With it about it with him. And then my middle son does it once in a while, and we actually did a show together in Los Angeles. So we drove to the venue together, the comedy club. We were both doing our act with each other. Then we sat in the green room together, waiting to go on. And then we talked about it afterwards, and it was such a really cool experience to be able to do that.

[Tony Kornheiser]

This is why I love having my son here.

[Greg Garcia]

Yeah, it's great.

[Tony Kornheiser]

It's just a wonderful thing.

[Greg Garcia]

It's fantastic.

[Tony Kornheiser]

All right, so let's talk about Bargazzi plays golf.

[Greg Garcia]

Yes.

[Tony Kornheiser]

He played in that thing that Taylor Twelman almost won.

[Greg Garcia]

Yes.

[Tony Kornheiser]

And he's pretty good player. He's pretty good player. And then you've started to play golf, and you had an opportunity that very, very few people have. You played with Jason Day. Jason Day, who I believe now lives in Columbus, married someone from Columbus, and he's a major winner. He's a player.

[Greg Garcia]

Yeah.

[Tony Kornheiser]

What. What was that like? Well, how did you get that gig?

[Greg Garcia]

So after Baltimore, he was going to Columbus next, and we knew the Emmys were coming up, so I was kind of helping him write some stuff for the Emmys. And I said, well, I'll just hop on the bus with you to Columbus, and we can keep talking about the Emmys. And we had another writer from the Emmys join us there. So we get to Columbus, and he says, hey, we're going to, you know, play tomorrow. And I said, okay, cool. You know, and he goes, yeah, it's his course. Double eagle. I love this course. Whatever. Okay, great. So we get there. We get in the van to go there, and he goes, yeah, you're going to be with Justin, my tour manager, who's a great guy, and I'll be in a cart with Jason Day. And I go, what? Yeah, we're gonna play with Jason. It's his home course. Whenever we go, oh, okay. All right, great. So I meet Jason, super nice guy. We're on the first tee, and you just don't want to put it into the bushes on the first. You know, it's just. Please, please. Oh, but beforehand, we're like, okay, let's. Let's have a match. Everybody throw out your handicaps. We're gonna have a match. And so I say, I'm an 18, and Jason's plus seven. And, you know, so he goes. Right away, he goes, okay, so I'll give you 24 strokes. And I. From Frostburg, I go, okay. And then I. Now I'm thinking, isn't it 25? I mean, I think from the jumping. Yeah, he cheated me. But, you know, at Frostburg, they told you at Graduation. Don't question anyone's math if they didn't go to Frostburg. Just nod and smile. You're just gonna make a fool yourself. So I'm, you know, so I'm behind from. From the beginning, I guess. So I go up there, I get 24 strokes. I hit it, and it goes in a fairway, maybe fades a little, right? But I'm like, oh, my. Thank God.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Shot.

[Greg Garcia]

Okay. And he kind of makes a. Oh, good. Yeah, it's pretty good for me for a second.

[Tony Kornheiser]

People will remember this if they are old enough to remember it. When Annika Sorenstan played in Texas and she was playing against men, when she hit her first drive and it went the fairway, she tapped herself by her heart and she said, thank you.

[Greg Garcia]

It is such a relief. It is such a relief. And so it's like getting the first laugh. Laugh on stage. It's like, okay, thank God. So we start playing the third hole. I get two pops. I get two strokes on the third hole, and I birdie it. So I get a natural birdie. Natural birdie. So I get a one.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Oh, you're killing him.

[Greg Garcia]

So now he's looking at me like, okay, you know, now there's a lot of sandbag comments, but in good nature. I mean, he really is a really nice guy. So somewhere, I think on five or six, he triples. He triples what? He triples a hole. He hits a tree. He's with Bargetzi. So I don't even. I don't know what's going on down there. But then when he finishes, he says, I got a seven. He tripled it. So at the turn, we're both minus two. So we're tied at the turn with the strokes, you know.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Greg Garcia]

Twelve for the first, right? For the first half. And now the day just becomes. It's me because Bargetzi's losing his mind. He loves this. He loves that we're tied and who. Nobody else is concerned with any of the match except for it's me against Jason Day. That's what's happening at this point. So. And. And he's like, all right, I'm gonna step it up. I'm gonna need to step it up. And, you know, and I'm trash talking fun. Fun to him and everything. And then we're driving to the back, but now he drives through the woods, and I'm like, where are we going? We ended up at somebody's backyard, and they live on a lake and they have a tiki bar. Like a professional Looking nice. Tiki bar. And there's a woman that lives there behind the bar, and she's serving drinks. She's very happy to see Jason, she's happy to see Nate. And she gives us shots of something Berghetzi doesn't drink yet, a lemonade. But I take a shot of some vodka thing with Jason, and then we go to the next hole and I hit it into the woods and I go to try to get my ball, and I fall down completely on my back. And he sees me because he's watching me. He's laughing. He's like, garcia fell down. And I got to tell him, I go, listen, when you're my age, when you're in your 50s, you don't fall down anymore.

[Tony Kornheiser]

You took.

[Greg Garcia]

I took a spill, okay? I took a spill. Get it right. Which he loved that he hadn't heard that before. And then the wheel started to come off a little bit for me. So now we have three to go. He's up three, and he says, listen, let's keep this interesting. I'm going to give you two strokes a hole for the last three. Last three holes. But he's turning it on. I mean, and he's. It's ridiculous. I mean, he's teeing off three tees behind us or whatever and flying it way past our balls.

[Tony Kornheiser]

He's a professional golfer. He's won a major. Yeah.

[Greg Garcia]

And it's his home court. He's not some guy, 15 foot putts are gimmes. I mean, he knows every contour of every green. So we play the last three. I tie him with my strokes. I tie him on the last. I mean, we're on 18. I get two strokes on 18. It's a par five. He's. He's driven it. Maybe, maybe he's 200 out. I don't know, is somewhere around 200. He hits the ball. As soon as it leaves the club, he turns to me, goes, that's not good for you, buddy. It lands about six feet from the hole. He goes up an eagle it. I par it, which I'm happy with, but it's still a push. So I push the last three holes, but I lose each hole by two strokes. So. But. So, yeah, he beats me by 27 at the end of the day. And he did say he'll give me 30 next time, and it was great then. What I love about him, too, is that night he comes to the show and I meet his wife, who's lovely, and we're just sitting around before the show and we're talking and laughing about various things. And then all of a sudden he goes, oh. He says to his wife, he goes, greg's the guy that almost beat me today. And she goes, I heard about that. I can't believe it. That's amazing. That's so crazy that you almost beat him. And I said, well, yeah, he. He gave me 27 strokes. And she goes, he didn't tell me he gave you strokes. That's how confident he is. He doesn't even tell. He just says, his wife, a guy almost beat me today. He doesn't even say he gave me 27 strokes.

[Tony Kornheiser]

It's a lovely story.

[Greg Garcia]

It was great. It was great. And the vertigo seems to be okay with him. Him didn't you were suffering from the vertigo?

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, I've had it twice now in the last six weeks, and I don't.

[Greg Garcia]

I had it when I was in college.

[Tony Kornheiser]

They don't know why or where or when.

[Greg Garcia]

It's terrible.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Greg Garcia]

When I was in college, I said I would not work. Wish this on my worst enemy. But now that I've gotten older, I think, yes, there's some people I've met along the way. For sure.

[Tony Kornheiser]

We will take a break. We will come back with email and jingle. I'm Tony Kornheiser. Hey, guys, have you heard of Gold Belly? It's this amazing site where they ship the most iconic famous foods from restaurants across the country, anywhere nationwide. I've never found a more perfect gift than food. Gold Belly ship Chicago deep dish pizza, New York bagels, Maine lobster rolls, and even Ina Garden's famous cakes. So if you're looking for a gift for the food lover in your life, head to goldbelly.com and get 20% off your first order with promo code GIFT. That's goldbelly.com, promo code GIFT.

[Greg Garcia]

This is the Tony Kornizer show.

[Drew Pictures]

Here comes Tony's mail bag.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Eric DeLonge and my favorite backup group, the Slappy Boys. The Slappy Boys. You wanna do the Bethesda bagel ad? Yeah. Bagel sandwiches today? Always. Yeah. It's a good day to be in. Good day to be in Bethesda Bagels.

[Michael Wilbon]

We love them.

[Tony Kornheiser]

You will as well. Just go to bethesdabeage.com for the location in the DC area nearest you. Then pop one in and you'll be thrilled. Greg got doubly lucky. I gave him a shirt from Collars and company.

[Greg Garcia]

I know. Walking out of here looking sharp. My belly's full.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Very good idea. All right, before we get to the mailbox, mailbag Let me just say Seems I've got to have a change of scene Every night I have the strangest dream in prison by the way it could have been left here on my own or so it seems I got the leave before I start to scream but someone locked the door and took the key Feeling all right I'm not feeling too good myself that's a great song. Thanks to our guests today, Michael Wilbaugh and Greg Garcia. Thanks as well to today's sponsors. Remember, you can listen to us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify and Audacy if you get the show through Apple. Please leave us a Review from Jason Smorall the Quattro Fromaggio Follow up we have come full circle as Wander Suero was once again back in the home clubhouse of your Syracuse Mets. As of this writing, he was just called up to be a New York Met and my guess is that by the time this is read he will be a free agent. That's funny. Leches Are Night Part four Quattro Formaggio was another stunning success. It is the single best and worst promotion we do and it's quite possibly the best worst promotion in all of Minor League Baseball. And that is quite a feat. Not quite. 50 littles that we know of came to the event. Some big Littles such as Anne Claire, Natola, Dina Near Donora, Elliot Ochansky, Chuck and Roxy, and of course Carl from Oswego. We're in the house. I'm sure I'm missing a few. Is always good to see new undiscovered local Littles such as a middle school buddy of mine, Dave Grohl, coming out of the woodwork and showing up for the $5.11 ticket. Chatter was of course the sponsor, the night sponsor as we could not fit Captain Tony's Fishing Charter in the space reserve for the game day sponsor. Captain Tony's fishing charter got a 32nd in game commercial on the video board advertising the Land and Sea special, A half day fishing and half day at Funland with Captain Tony and the crew of Nigel, Michael, Bootsy, the Hammer and the Captain. You imagine that it was on the board. Chuck and Roxy participated the mascot race with T Boy Lachulet and Louise Gluck who decided not to finish the race because what's the point of it all? Call from us. We go participate in another round of Michael Wilbon's Hocus Pocus Junk or Legit and we once again replaced mice for the Plungers in the local 81 plumbers union plunger Toss turning it into Flush the Mouse. The best part of each of these nights are the fans and the staff that ask what the heck is going on. We finished the night at Jake Hafner's Tavern with Chuck and Roxy as well as Dina Near Dinora and the Right Reverend Mark Schaefer for a nice wrap up. Another successful failure of lecheeserie Night at the Syracuse Mets. Thanks for all the laughs. Here's hoping there's a fifth year of nonsense with another lecheeserie night. Tell Jake he eat it and a box of that is on the way. From Tim from Scranton. I'm not a medical examiner, but are we sure it's Robert Redford who passed last week and not Billy Bob Thornton or Joe Pantoliano? They look eerily similar to me. I'm never going to live that.

[Michael Wilbon]

Nope.

[Tony Kornheiser]

From Stephen Woody in Montrose, Colorado Robert Redford was making a documentary about Butch Cassie and the Sundance Kid in Wyoming in 1976 for National Geographic. It was Saturday and back then banks were closed. He was out of cash and had stopped at several stores in Lander, Wyoming trying to cash an out of state Utah check they all had refused. He stopped by the Wyoming State Journal, which was open from 9am to 12 on Saturdays, a day when news folks got ahead of next week's stories. When advertising tear sheets from the previous two issues were delivered, our receptionist first turned him down as well, citing out of state checks. The right editor of the paper from his back of the room desk recognized them. This was vintage redford of the 1970 blonde, wearing an old corduroy jacket, aviator sunglasses. He smiled and receptionist turned to goo. She cashed his check. Later he signed autographs and posed for a photo at the environmental newspaper that was also published out of that building, the High Country News. He agreed for the photo to be published just once, him sitting with an open copy of the HCN quote. Even people in Hollywood read the High Country News. Grand, gracious and friendly he was. Wasn't that nice? That's lovely. Andy Fleming in Atlanta amidst all the medical types offering advice for your inner ear problem. I can't believe that no one who listens to the show has yet suggested the most obvious solution. A dab of Mercurochrome that should do the job. From Mark Elliott in Prospect, Kentucky while listening to the pod the other day during the mailbag portion you said from Jim Gentile and Jim Gentile and I immediately said to myself, not the Jim Gentile. You didn't say it. So my quick Google search found he is still with us at age 91. Is he a little he's one of only four surviving Brooklyn Dodgers and started at first base in the last game in Evans Field. Had a huge year in 1961 with the Orioles. That's how I know him as an Oriole player batting.302 with 46 home runs and 141 RBIs. But Mantle and Maris finished 12 in the MVP vote. Yeah, 1961, six time All Star and a member of the O's hall of Fame. Thanks for the show. Good luck with the potatoes. I don't know if that's the Jim Genteel. I mean, I saw it and that's how I would pronounce it because I remember him as a player. From Mark Hughes in Ashton, Maryland Chuck and Roxy 292 I see that Post Sex Nachos will be playing in D.C. on Oct. 24. They're playing at Atlantis, right next to the 9:30 club. They're opening for Stolen Gin. Will your hamstring prevent the band's former bass player from sitting in on a couple of those memorable power ballads from the early 1970s? Hopefully not. As the opener Post Sex Nachos will be off the stage in time for you to get home at your usual bedtime. That is, unless you stay to eat the Van der Wen's coffee ice cream and Candy Kitchen fruit slices with the watermelon ones removed that are part of the standard Post Sex not just contract writer of items to be provided by the venue. Hope to see you rocking on the stage. Tell Kevin Nolan to eat it From David in Orlando, Florida with a couple of pictures attached. I wanted to share a photo of my banana tree, that's all. And he's got a banana tree in the yard and it's in Florida. So I guess you can grow.

[Michael Wilbon]

I guess.

[Greg Garcia]

I guess I didn't think you could grow bananas domestically.

[Tony Kornheiser]

If you told me they came from a tree, I never would have known. I mean, I have no sense. I don't like bananas. You're not a fan of the bananas from Tim in the Midwest. I just reviewed all the emails I've sent in the last five years and two of them addressed you as Dr. Ron. The most recent one was an email from January 2022. I cannot recall the origin story, but it was a thing at some point. Oh, and that particular email was me wondering how many kitchen outlets DG had the memories Bill Matfeld, Fort Mills, South Carolina On Friday you said that James was in Europe, but he cabled you his picks the miracle of modern technology strikes again. What's the going rate on tipping the Western Union? Michael Dingle, Louisville, Kentucky. Just wanted to pass along my thanks for getting me through a CT scan on Friday. You see, it seems I've developed a bit of claustrophobia in my advanced years. Granted, I'm old, but not as old as you. And the episode dropped just in time to make it to my earbuds as I made my way into the donut shaped machine. You talk with Rich Podolski provided just the soothing sounds that allowed me to power through the procedure. Best of luck with the Vertigo. Nice to know I still have that to look forward to. From Alex Hofbauer in Oklahoma City. Earlier this week, you discussed Paul Adonisio, who wrote the screenplay for Quiz Show. And then you learned from another listener that his brother, Mark Adonisio, is the owner of the brewers, which I had no idea. No idea. But did you know that I went to high school with Mark Atanazio's son, Dan Attanasio? Well, now you do. Okay. There you go.

[Michael Wilbon]

Okay.

[Tony Kornheiser]

And Jordan in Vienna, Virginia, as part of a former Virginia Tech football coach Brent Pies buyout, he has agreed to manage the Blacksburg Blackbird Chipotle for the remainder of the contract. He's quoted as saying, we have some real talent here, especially in the rice department. And we're getting the top guacamole kit from the Athens, Georgia Chipotle through the transfer portal. I'm confident we will turn things around in no time. We look forward to Greg Garcia's return.

[Greg Garcia]

I am so happy that I've shed a light on that Chipotle. I told Nigel I'm the Aaron Brockovich of mid level fast food places in the Southern Virginia area. Yeah, I hope they never change.

[Tony Kornheiser]

All right, if you're out on your bike tonight, everyone, as always, do wear white.

[Michael Wilbon]

Hey, dad.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Dad.

[Michael Wilbon]

Honey. Tony.

[Greg Garcia]

Tony.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Listen up.

[Drew Pictures]

How did we get here? Bitter and cold how did we wind up here? As partners in an empty one man show? Another December where did the time go? Why do we tell each other stories? When that's all she wrote? You keep a legend with the score Waiting for me to come unbound? You don't know what you're fighting for but you can throw your weight around. How did we get here? Remember the way back to Memory Lane? When our feet swept off the ground? I tried to say it's night and day on north stars outside now I want to shark these canyons up these mountains of our years we drive, we shot the crater so where do we go from here? Somebody like you, baggage in tow? You shouldn't have to face the music. When I reap the seeds I sow and ain't we a couple? Goodbye and hello. It's like the thunder and the lightning the hangman and his rope.

[Tony Kornheiser]

You.

[Drew Pictures]

Leave your passion by the door and dust it off for friends in town you can and only rest assured we're not the kind to sleep around. How did we get here? We met up our way back to memory lane. When our feet swept on the ground I tried what to say? It's not a neon no stars upside down. I want to show these canyons about these mountains of our years. We drive each other crazy, don't we? So where do we go from here? You and your brother?

[Tony Kornheiser]

Civil war.

[Drew Pictures]

We lost our love. Without a sound and not a screaming Sam. She wants love like desert rain Hard to please Wild and strange Takes her medicine to feel the same she wants love without the pain she needs peace like golden waves all the emotion well contained her body's cold, the air is gray she needs some peace to light her way if you want to waste away the daylight Going on like a moss upon the castle Standing there by the cold well I cannot remember when the wind began to blow when these roots began to grow up I didn't know. Nobody know she wears hope like a serenade Been through hell play the game she's barely there Seems afraid She wears home in every shade if you want to waste away the daylight Growing old like moss upon the castle Standing there Nobody know. She wants love but she wants love she wants. She wants love she wants love she wants love yes, she does she wants.

[Greg Garcia]

Love.

[Michael Wilbon]

Without the pain Sam.