“Unsightly”

Summary

The Tony Kornheiser Show: “Unsightly” – July 28, 2025

Hosted by This Show Stinks Productions, LLC, "The Tony Kornheiser Show" is a daily talk show that seamlessly blends discussions on sports, politics, current events, and entertainment, featuring regular guests who bring diverse perspectives to each episode. In the episode titled “Unsightly,” released on July 28, 2025, host Tony Kornheiser engages in a variety of conversations ranging from sports insights to personal anecdotes and guest appearances.

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I. Sports Talk with Michael Wilbon

The episode begins with Tony Kornheiser catching up with sports commentator Michael Wilbon about the recent weekend’s Nationals games. Tony expresses his confusion over the Nationals' series outcome, initially believing it was a two-game series but later realizing it extended to three games due to Mackenzie Gore’s performance.

Tony Kornheiser (02:01):
“Mackenzie Gore, who is front and center. ESPN. All ESPN platforms.”

Michael Wilbon (03:14):
“He would be the biggest trade.”

Tony discusses the potential trade of Mackenzie Gore, highlighting the importance of maintaining trust with the fan base. He suggests that instead of trading Gore amidst management changes, it would be wiser to observe how new leadership impacts the team before making any decisions.

Tony Kornheiser (03:52):
“I think you should wait and see what happens with all new people. I think that is the trust that you build up with, with fans.”

The conversation delves into the Nationals' strategy, emphasizing the consistent performance of players like Alex Call.

Tony Kornheiser (04:09):
“One other thing, I don’t know that I've ever seen this before. I don’t recall going to a baseball game and seeing a group of people sitting in the stands without shirts on.”

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II. Unusual Events at a Baseball Game

Tony segues into a humorous debate about the legality and commonality of fans attending baseball games shirtless, referencing a recent game in Minnesota where several fans were shirtless under bright, clear skies.

Tony Kornheiser (06:07):
“I'm unburdened by memory, but I don't ever recall going to a baseball game and seeing a group of people sitting in the stands without shirts on.”

Michael Wilbon and the guest humorously discuss the scene, pondering whether such behavior is permissible at MLB games.

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III. Tony's Golfing Misadventures

Transitioning from sports to personal experiences, Tony shares his recent golfing outing with Sean, recounting his struggles on the course despite enjoying the company.

Tony Kornheiser (07:02):
“I played with Alan, I played with Gary, I played with Ken Samet. We had a really lovely time.”

He humorously details his poor performance, highlighting the contrast between his frustrations and the camaraderie shared with his golfing partners.

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IV. Highlight: Shannon McNally's New Single

Tony takes a moment to promote Shannon McNally’s latest musical release, “It’s Going to Be a Long Night,” praising her as a Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter and describing her unique vocal style.

Tony Kornheiser (14:41):
“Shannon has now provided the show with her latest single, It’s Going to Be a Long Night. It’s hard to imagine a more appropriate song for the show...”

He encourages listeners to attend her performance at the Warner Theater in DC and to support her nationwide tour.

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V. Listener Story: Nearly a Hole-in-One

A listener shares an engaging story about his son’s near-hole-in-one experience during a golf outing, which sparked Tony’s interest.

Listener (16:37):
“He hits it and just screams out, you give me my car. And I go, did it go in?”

The story revolves around a playful challenge where the son could win a brand-new car for making a hole-in-one, adding a competitive and humorous twist to their golfing experience.

Tony Kornheiser (19:04):
“Loser. That's what the light lights up. Loser. You didn't get it in.”

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VI. Commercial Actor Chronicles: Pantoliano vs Thornton

Tony engages in a lighthearted debate with Michael Wilbon about identifying the actor appearing in T-Mobile commercials, initially mistaking Joe Pantoliano for Billy Bob Thornton.

Tony Kornheiser (10:28):
“I'm identifying him. I always liked him. Wasn't he in the Fugitive?...But he’s now in these T Mobile commercials...”

The discussion humorously highlights Tony’s confusion and his admiration for the actors’ performances in commercials, ultimately clarifying the mix-up between the two actors.

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VII. Community Events: Summer of Littles

The show promotes community events organized by the Summer of Littles, inviting listeners to participate in gatherings across various locations, including Denver, Maryland, and Arkansas.

Listener (49:03):
“...We have some nice golf courses in the Williamsburg area.”

Tony encourages participation, emphasizing the inclusive and celebratory nature of these events.

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VIII. Listener Emails: Scams and Cybersecurity

Listeners contribute questions and anecdotes, with one focusing on the prevalence of email scams and the challenges law enforcement faces in combating them.

Listener (50:00):
“It’s a game of whack a mole. In your particular example, it looks like American Express is a victim in all of this...”

The discussion underscores the importance of vigilance and data protection in the digital age, providing practical advice on identifying legitimate emails.

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IX. Guest Spotlight: Greg Garcia's Stand-Up Career

Greg Garcia joins the show to announce his new venture into stand-up comedy. He shares insights into his preparation, including writing meticulously crafted material and developing his comedic timing.

Greg Garcia (32:03):
“I think it's just a fluke thing to do at this point.”

Tony expresses support and humorously speculates about Greg’s upcoming performances, highlighting the challenges and excitement of transitioning to live comedy.

Tony Kornheiser (42:04):
“We root for you like crazy.”

Greg discusses his recent performances and upcoming gigs, indicating a promising start to his stand-up journey despite some nervousness.

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X. Closing Remarks and Final Thoughts

As the episode wraps up, Tony reflects on the various discussions, shares humorous anecdotes, and reinforces community connections through listener stories and sponsor messages. The episode concludes with musical interludes and a light-hearted banter between Tony and Michael Wilbon.

Tony Kornheiser (45:45):
“I stand corrected. We've looked it up. Thanks to Sean for first pointing it out.”

Tony and Michael continue their friendly exchanges, showcasing the show's blend of humor, personal stories, and informative content.

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Conclusion:

In “Unsightly,” Tony Kornheiser masterfully balances sports commentary, personal stories, guest interviews, and listener interactions, all while maintaining an engaging and humorous tone. The episode not only provides insightful discussions on current sports trends and personal anecdotes but also highlights the importance of community and shared experiences. Whether it’s delving into MLB trade rumors, sharing a nearly victorious golfing moment, or supporting a guest’s new comedic path, Tony ensures that listeners are both entertained and informed throughout the show.

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Notable Quotes:

• “Mackenzie Gore, who is front and center. ESPN.” – Tony Kornheiser (02:01)
• “I think you should wait and see what happens with all new people. I think that is the trust that you build up with, with fans.” – Tony Kornheiser (03:52)
• “I never recall going to a baseball game and seeing a group of people sitting in the stands without shirts on.” – Tony Kornheiser (06:07)
• “He hits it and just screams out, you give me my car.” – Listener (16:37)
• “We root for you like crazy.” – Tony Kornheiser (42:04)

These quotes encapsulate the episode's blend of sports analysis, humor, and personal reflection, offering listeners a glimpse into the dynamic and engaging nature of the show.

Transcript

[Tony Kornheiser]

Hey, it's Tony. On today's show, we'll catch up with Michael Wilbon about what he was watching over the weekend. We'll talk about Greg Garcia, about what I guess is his new career. Stand up. But first let's do some commerce.

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[Tony Kornheiser]

Whoa. When did I get here?

[Advertiser]

What do you mean?

[Michael Wilbon]

I swear it was just moments ago that I accepted a great offer from Carvana online.

[Greg Garcia]

I must have time traveled to the future.

[Advertiser]

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[Tony Kornheiser]

It is the future. It's.

[Advertiser]

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[Tony Kornheiser]

It's all good.

[Sean]

Happens all the time. The time.

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[Tony Kornheiser]

Previously on the Tony Korniser Show.

[Guest]

No, we ended up. We ended up getting through that. But no, my story for you is from the evening adventure.

[Tony Kornheiser]

What happened?

[Guest]

When's the last time that you went to Funland after the sun goes down?

[Tony Kornheiser]

I don't know. The 12th of never. I mean, I'm not, you know, that explains my childhood. I'm not a fun land guy. The Tony Kornheiser show is on now.

[Listener]

In.

[Tony Kornheiser]

In hearing that in review. And it's a funny line by Michael that explains my childhood. But the truth of the matter is we didn't buy the house in Delaware till Michael was 20 years old.

[Guest]

Still processing.

[Tony Kornheiser]

It was not, it was not like, you know, he's. He would at 6 and 8 and 10 and 12, say, can we go to Funland?

[Michael Wilbon]

Not tonight.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Now. We never, we never were here, so we didn't even know there was a fun land. To be fair, I don't have much to say today. This is, you know, what I do for a living is I watch sports. It's my vocation and my avocation. I enjoy it. And there wasn't much on this weekend that I could. I watched the Gnats and I'm sort of lost with the Nats in this regard. The Nats beat the Twins on Saturday and the Nats beat the Twins on Sunday. And for reasons unknown to me, I just thought it was a two game series, but I guess. Michael, was it a three? Did they lose on Friday or win? I'm unaware. Oh, that's right. That it was the one nothing game that Mackenzie Gore.

[Michael Wilbon]

Right.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Mackenzie Gore, who is. Who is front and center. Espn. All ESPN platforms. You know, will they trade this? He'd be the biggest trade.

[Michael Wilbon]

He would be.

[Tony Kornheiser]

But you can't trade him. No, you can't trade Michael. Could you trade him? I wouldn't trade him.

[Sean]

You.

[Guest]

You can trade him. I think that the question is what happens to the trust that you've built up with your fan base if you do trade him? No, I've been reading on MLB trade rumors that that's not likely to happen, but your favorite reliever probably is going to be gone.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Well, I don't care if Kyle Finnegan go. I, you know that that's fine. He can go wherever he wants or whoever wants him. But with MacKenzie Gore. The reason I'm saying this, I don't want to get too deep in the weeds in this, but you're going to fire this manager. You're going to fire every coach. They're all gone. They're just serving out the season and all new people are coming in, including maybe the general manager. All new people are coming in. So I don't think you should trade Mackenzie Gore. I think you should wait and see what happens with all new people. I think that is the trust that you build up with, with fans. Do you agree, Michael, or no? Yeah.

[Guest]

And this is going back. I mean, you have to remember where MacKenzie Gore came from. I mean, he has a great quote that he gives to our very own Mark Feinstein. Having been traded before, it's just one of those things you don't even think about. So, I mean, this is when you think about trust. It's going back to the Soto deal and what you got back for it and all these, you know, prospects that are sort of coming to fruition now.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Two things I want to say about the NATs, just two. One is you have to play Alex Call every day. He's always on base and he's a really good fielder.

[Guest]

Home series.

[Tony Kornheiser]

And if you're not. Yeah. If you're not smart enough to play him every day, you shouldn't have a job. Just look at his results. I know he's not 6 5. I know he doesn't have the power that James Wood has, but he's. He's got A couple of home runs, whereas Jacob Young has no home runs.

[Michael Wilbon]

Zero. Yes.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Jacob Young's a better fielder, but Call is a good fielder. And I know you have to make room. Dylan Cruz, whatever this thing he had that kept him out for, I don't know, three years now, he's apparently getting ready to come back at some point. So you got to make room for him, too. But Alex Cole should play every day that he can. One other thing, and I. I don't know. I don't know that I've ever seen this before. I've seen this at football games by weird people. Weird people who. Well, let me just explain it. They're in Minnesota. Minnesota is in the American League. Washington is in the National League. There's nobody there. Washington must be one of the worst draws, one of the worst interleague draws other than the Orioles, you know, playing against the Orioles of all time. Because there's nobody there. And these are bright, clear days. And you know that it's nice there because the 3m open is on in that general area and everybody's wearing short sleeve shirts. So even in Minnesota, it's summer. There are five or six guys in the left field stands. They showed them twice, at least twice yesterday. They don't have shirts on. Like, I don't. Is that I. You know, you see it in football games where people paint. Yeah, they paint letters on their. Yeah, so no, these guys are just sitting there. There's no slops in the sun. And I'm thinking, is that legal? Like, is that. Is that okay? I've never in my life.

[Listener]

I don't know.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I'm unburdened by memory, but I don't ever recall going to a baseball game and seeing a group of people sitting in the stands without shirts on. I don't check the index, you know, I don't know. Is. You think that's legal? Sure, I think it's. To take your shirt off.

[Guest]

Do you think they walked into the stadium thinking, second inning, I'm taking the shirt off? Like, were you planning.

[Sean]

Yes.

[Guest]

Is it changed the outfit?

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yes. Yeah.

[Michael Wilbon]

I think if you walk in without a shirt, they might say you got to put a shirt on.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I would think so.

[Guest]

No.

[Michael Wilbon]

No shoes, no shirts, no. No service.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah. I think you. I was stunning. To me.

[Michael Wilbon]

I mean.

[Tony Kornheiser]

And I think Minnesota wouldn't kick him out because they were like five of the 400 people who went to the game. No, Michael. Right. Nobody was in the stands. No, nobody's in the stands.

[Michael Wilbon]

Just in my mind's eye, I think I'm looking back to like Wrigley Field in the, in the bleachers. I could, I could almost picture really a whole row of people without their shirts on. But. But I might be just making that up.

[Tony Kornheiser]

All right, one other thing. I played golf yesterday. I, I am the worst now. I am really bad. I cannot make a full swing. I cannot make a turn. I don't know what happens. I'm fine on the range. I get out on the course and gag like a dog. But I've had a really nice time. I played with Alan, I played with Gary, I played with Ken Samet. I was. We had a really lovely time. Alan made. So Gary. We're playing carts. Gary and I are in the same cart. And Gary likes to. Just something to play for. It's not money. It's just like some sort of competition. Gary's that.

[Guest]

Who drives when you play with Gary?

[Tony Kornheiser]

Well, I drove. I mean, I just, I drove. It was set up that I drove. And, you know, and it's okay. It was fine. But I was terrible. And we weren't any good. And we lost five holes on the front, but we're, you know, we're done on the front, but on the back a couple of holes, like, we win one hole, first hole we win is 10. We didn't want to hold the whole.

[Guest]

Is there a half time?

[Listener]

Pep talk.

[Tony Kornheiser]

No. I know Gary. No judgments. And he didn't. He neither yelled at me, nor was encouraging. And I just. Terrible. And he was, no, who's this kid? And, and I let it go, you know, I mean, I just said, look, I stink. I'm really bad. Today. I was really bad. But we won a hole. And then, and we won. Then they won a hole, then we won another hole. And then Allen on 13, 15 and 17, 13 and 15, he hit putts of at least 20ft to tie the hole. At least 20. And on 17, an eight footer to tie the hole. And I just, you know, Alan had a really good day putting. And I was envious because I could. I would go in the sand. I couldn't get out of the sand. I would shank a potamus on wedges. I was just. I couldn't get the ball in the air. I kept topping it. It was really, really bad. And despite that, I had a really good time. Which I think tells you if you're not a good player, and I am not a good player. I think it tells you that if you enjoy the people you're with, it's okay. Like, that's now, on your level, Michael, that may not mean much because you're a good player and playing well may mean more to you than it.

[Guest]

Reminder about the power of playing with friends.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Guest]

If you have that. If you have that group, you can fall out of the. Out of the actual scoring of golf and just have a good time.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I didn't break a 100. It was terrible. And just I had a birthday a little while ago and I haven't played one good round since. And I think that's God's way of saying, no, it's over. It's over for you. You're too old.

[Sean]

It's done.

[Tony Kornheiser]

You're too old. I've made that judgment. And one other thing I wanted to say.

[Listener]

Do you.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Does anybody. By the way, but Sean is with us. I haven't mentioned Sean. That's right. Is guarding against something going wrong with the audio because there is no video. I don't understand video for podcast. I don't understand it. Because you then force people to pay attention and have to watch so they can't do anything else.

[Michael Wilbon]

Yeah.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Whereas audio. You just take it with audio. And plus, we look. We're horrible looking. Yeah. Unsightly. Don't you know you're unsightly? Thank you, Howard. Thank you. So do you remember a character actor from the 80s and 90s named Joe Pantoliano? Oh, sure, yeah. Pretty good. Yeah. Wasn't he in the Fugitive? Didn't he have a big role in the future?

[Michael Wilbon]

He was Sopranos. Yeah. Ralphie in the Sopranos did not end well for him in that.

[Tony Kornheiser]

So he was out early on the Sopranos.

[Michael Wilbon]

Well, like Midway.

[Tony Kornheiser]

But he's a. He's a thinly built guy.

[Michael Wilbon]

Yes.

[Tony Kornheiser]

About five, eight or five, nine.

[Michael Wilbon]

Yeah. His first role, I remember.

[Tony Kornheiser]

With someone else's hair. Yes, he has someone else's hair.

[Michael Wilbon]

Yeah.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Oh, no. But I'm identifying him.

[Michael Wilbon]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I always liked him. Yeah, he's great. He is now in these T Mobile commercials with blonde hair. He's the guy walking down in a cornfield. He's the guy who says, yeah, Xfinity or Comcast, they used to be the best, but now T Mobile is the best. You can find us anywhere. Just send me a text and tell me where you are, because you can, you know, you can get to me. And I look at him and I think, wow, this guy was a really good actor. I always felt, what's he doing? He weighs about 120 pounds now, Stan. His hair is blonde and. But he's. He delivers the lines I think I'm talking about the right guy. If not, I'm going to get 87 emails. But I think it's Joe Pantoliano and I think he's in these T Mobile commercials and they are. As a result of that. It makes me happy. It like when I see an actor who I recognize doing a commercial and not. And doing it straight, you know, not trying for laughs, not pointing to himself, not being self referential in any way. And Pantleyano isn't makes me happy, apparently. It is him, I'm telling you. Yeah. And. And he's a good actor.

[Michael Wilbon]

He's a great actor.

[Tony Kornheiser]

He's.

[Michael Wilbon]

He's one of those guys. I mean, he won't be a lead.

[Tony Kornheiser]

No, never.

[Michael Wilbon]

But as a character acting, a backup guy.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yes. Sean, do you know him? Do you know Joe Panthleon? Of course.

[Michael Wilbon]

Yeah. There's also one with Billy Bob Thornton. That's the one I've seen a lot of.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Oh, so is that. So am I confusing him with Billy Bob Thornton?

[Michael Wilbon]

Maybe.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Because Billy. If it's Billy walking around like in.

[Michael Wilbon]

In, you know, on a prairie somewhere.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yes. Yeah. Oh, okay. So I have this wrong. It's Billy Bob Thornton. Well, Billy Bob Thornton has somebody else's hair all the time. Also. Wait a second. Billy Bob Thornton has been nominated for Academy Awards, hasn't he?

[Michael Wilbon]

I believe he has, yes. Sling Blade. I think he might have won for Sling Blade.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, he's doing a T Mobile commercial. They're all doing Pantoliano. Made sense to me.

[Michael Wilbon]

Well, Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey, those.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Are great commercials, but I don't know what they're selling. I don't know what they're selling. Yeah, but it's great because McConaughey, as we know, and when he gets doused with the water, it's wonderful. He plays the SAP in all of these commercials and Harrelson plays the guy.

[Michael Wilbon]

Who'S winning the sharp.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, yeah. And it's the commercial again. I have no idea what they're saying, so I have that wrong. It's not Pantoliano. It's really Bob Thornton.

[Michael Wilbon]

According to various sources, Joe Pantoliano has appeared in commercials for T Mobile, among other things. So.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah. So wait, are you sure, Sean? Are you sure?

[Michael Wilbon]

I am positive that Billy Bob Thornton is the guy that I've seen in some of these. I may not have seen the Billy Bob or the.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Okay. But with blonde, blonde hair walking in a field and next to him, like there's a bunch of hey. And it's written on the Hey T Mobile or something like right?

[Michael Wilbon]

Yes.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Okay, so maybe go wrong. But he's a great actor as well. Yes, maybe I did get it wrong. Do they look alike? I. I don't know. This is what happens when you get old. Like I can't. I can't turn, I can't swing, I can't hit the ball and I don't know who's on tv. I'm an imbecile. Let's get out of here. Michael Wilbon when we return, I'm Tony Kornheiser.

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[Tony Kornheiser]

This is the Tony Kornizer Show. This is Shannon McNally and is sent to us by our great friend Bill Isaacson who writes Although you're unburdened by memory, I believe you remember Shannon McNally including her version of Help Me Make it through the Night to remind others. Long island born Shannon McNally is a Grammy nominated singer songwriter with over a dozen albums. Rodney Crowell has described Shannon singing as something of a cross between Joan Jett and Lauren Bacall. An uncut magazine described Shannon's vocals on one song as like the headlights of a hearse. Wow. Shannon has now provided the show with her latest single, It's Going to Be a Long Night. It's hard to imagine a more appropriate song for the show because of the mid song driving instructions for the American highway system explaining how to know where you are if you wake up at a major intersection and don't know. The song hits the 1970s I40 trucker song Nail on the Head. Shannon is performing Tuesday, July 29th. That's tomorrow.

[Michael Wilbon]

Tomorrow, yes.

[Tony Kornheiser]

At the Warner Theater Theater in dc. She's opening up For Mike Campbell, former lead guitarist for Tom Petty with his current band, the Dirty Knobs. You can find me at a table in the balcony that night at the Warner. Shannon also starts a nationwide tour in September with dates you can find on our website. We thank Bill and we thank Shannon because she's great, obviously. Absolutely, obviously great. She plays in Michael Wilbon, and this is one of those weeks. This was a weekend in the middle of the summer where as much as I want to watch television and watch sports, I gotta say, nothing really jumped out at me. And I watched golf and I watched the tennis from Washington and I watched some baseball, but I. I was not enthusiastic about watching anything until you sent me a video yesterday about the possibility that you would owe your son Matthew a brand new car. Would you like to describe this for everyone?

[Listener]

Well, we were out in Arizona. Tony and Matthew wanted to come out for a few days and visit his old man, who's recuperating, as you know, from some foot surgeries. And I can't play, but I can get in a cart and drive. My right foot works. So. And, you know, just driving around and letting him play is fine with me anyway, at this point in my life. So we went to one of the courses, Desert Mountain, where we're members and Cochise. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Even in the dead of summer. And, you know, with no rain, it's just stunningly beautiful. And we are at the second hole and he, you know, he's starting to play a little bit. It's only been the last year and a half because certainly hit it. And he. We got this thing since he was a little kid where he said, when he was a little kid, 7, 8 years old, dad can replay one hole from the same set of tees. And I hit a, you know, wedge. He didn't, you know, driver. And there were like three or four times when he nearly had a hole in one. This is insane. Whether, you know, it's 154 yards or whatever, 140 some yards, and he has a driver and people are looking at it at the next hole. They're going, it's going to go in. The ball goes, you know, it's a foot short, hits the hole, hits the flag, whatever. So now he's six, three, you know, when he's. It's 158 yards on our second hole, Echo Cheese. 158 yards. He's got a nine iron. And I go, really? You that you're that guy now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do I get? I still standard Stuff not go better than that. Hole in one. You a fish, you get a car. Brand new car. Just like that. That's it. Brand new car. Yep. Brand new car. Whatever you want. So he stands there and he just, you know, we've been doing this for years. We've doing this for half his life. And he strikes it. And when he strikes it, he knows. He knows what he's got, and I fear what he's got. And it's just. It's just the two of us out there. I mean, it's great. And say late in the afternoon, it's probably, you know, 99 degrees on 110 degree day earlier. And he hits it and he just says, it's going in. Let's not go in. It takes 1 bounce. 158 yards. 9. 1 bounce. The pin is accessible. It's right in the middle. And it hits the flag on one bounce. And he just screams out, you give me my car. And I go, did it go in?

[Tony Kornheiser]

And that's the goal.

[Listener]

We're looking at it. We get in the car. And as you can see from the video, it's the pin. And it stops a foot, one foot, 12 inches.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Loser. That's what the light lights up. Loser. You didn't get it in. It has to go in the hole, in the jar, in the cup.

[Listener]

This happens Friday. We're now on Monday. And he can't let it go. He just can't let it go.

[Tony Kornheiser]

He wants a car. He can't have the car.

[Listener]

No, no, no, no, no, no. He can't have the car. No, can't have the car. Although my friends are agitating. Give him the car. I'm like, no, the car. You don't pay off on that. You don't pay off on. Hit the stick. And so it's just. It's just. It's, you know, it's just antagonizing him that he came this close again when.

[Tony Kornheiser]

He was second prize. Steak times.

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I get in the car.

[Listener]

You know, it was just. Just acting. Lord it over him until he has one, if he ever has one, while I'm alive.

[Tony Kornheiser]

That's wonderful. I. I mean, I think it worked out for everyone. He had a really good shot.

[Sean]

He had a kitchen to appreciate it.

[Listener]

I said, I'm sending this video about. To about six people. And I said, you know, I said, I got to send this video to Tony.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, this is.

[Sean]

This is agony.

[Listener]

I go, yeah, that's right. I said, I did. I. Come on. I got one. I got one in. In 30 years. So I don't want to hear your. Your wine.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I have none. I have none.

[Listener]

I told him. I told him. And now he thinks because he's come this close again that he's good. Dad, I'm gonna have one. I'm going to get one.

[Tony Kornheiser]

We wish it to you.

[Listener]

You're making the golf gods angry now, so.

[Tony Kornheiser]

But. But wait. I want to. I want to know beyond. Beyond this particular thing. I'm assuming that you have to be there for him to get the car if he gets a hole in one somewhere else. You don't own a car.

[Listener]

No, no, no. I gotta be there. He's already. He's already said, I'm gonna do this at 16 of Columbia.

[Sean]

I go, okay, right, fine.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Good. God bless. And then everybody drinks for free. So that's good. That makes me happy. Did you.

[Listener]

What? Did you.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Did you watch anything? This. Did you watch anything?

[Listener]

Tony, Tony, Tony. I got a team that's got the best record in baseball. Come on.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Oh, that's right.

[Listener]

This is not watching. This is not like watching the Nats. I mean, this is 2015. We hope it's 16 right now. It's 15. It's the year before when the Cubs had Chris Bryant was rookie of the year, and Rizzo and Baez coming into his own, and Schwarber hitting home runs. It's 2015. I hope better I take 15 on the run up. No, this is every day. This is the White Sox going 6 and 5 and 1 after the break and having to play them on the south side and all of the emotion that goes with that for all of us. And there's so many people here in the desert, as I always remind you, and people from the east or south who don't necessarily understand what makes up Arizona. And it's people looking into the sun in the Midwest for 400 years, and they move out here. And so when you go anywhere, to dinner, to the grocery store, at the gas station, every single person is talking about either the. The Cubs and White Sox were brewers. That's who we are out here. And so the White Sox win game one in an embarrassingly large fashion. And I just. I was fearing a sweep because the White Sox was just dreck for two years. They got hot after the break. They were scoring, like, nine runs on people and beating Tampa Bay. And so anyway, that series consumed me. And now, if you think I was consumed by that, starting tonight, I believe. Brewers. Cubs.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Listener]

Three in Milwaukee.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Three in Milwaukee. Yeah. So I. I did see a very nice little feature. I saw A nice little feature on Pete Crow. Armstrong, who went to some little kids lemonade stand or something like. Yeah, it was lovely. He seems, yeah, he seems almost too good to be true. Right?

[Listener]

He is beloved already.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Already.

[Listener]

It's one year.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Listener]

Loved beloved. And people overstated. They don't overstate him being beloved. They just overstate. He's first of all. So Matthew, you know, started looking up all these metrics. I'll never look up the things that measure where his, what his standing is, people. Armstrong in baseball right now. And one of them would make you angry because I said, he said that. Where would you put Shohei? I mean, what would you compete for Armstrong right now if you were voting for mvp, the National League? I said, well, he's got to be behind Shohei. He's probably behind one of the first. He goes, where is he in all the baseball? I go, well, he's behind the big dumper. He's behind Shell Hades. And he looks up all these things that, that are out there and they have Armstrong in some cases first in the National League because he's, he's not a good defender. He's a great defender. He's not as spectacular as Ken Griffey Jr. But he just gets to everything. And there are metrics that explain that, that he's the guy who's a vacuum cleaner. And Shohei, of course, doesn't play.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, but you hate analytics. You hate analytics.

[Listener]

I hate him. But I didn't need analytics to say he's the third best player in baseball. I didn't need that. The analytics, depending on what you look at, show him being second or third and one of them, or more than one shows him. They have a show first.

[Tony Kornheiser]

No, that's.

[Listener]

So anyway, so no, so he's. He is beloved. And people have fallen in love with this team overnight. And now we're all waiting on pins and needles for a trade that's going to help his pitching. No, no, no. We. I watched the tennis. I didn't watch any golf. Golf over until we get to the Ryder Cup. For me, I watched, I watch the Cubs. That's what I do there. That's, you know, they're there.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I watched, I watched some of the tennis. I watched some of the tennis and you know, and then I saw what I missed. I would, I would see the next morning and it was like really weird because, you know, all the people that I thought would win, they lost. You know, Taylor, Fritz and Shelton lost.

[Listener]

You know.

[Tony Kornheiser]

They lost.

[Listener]

Yeah, they lost. It was unbelievable to watch. Fritz, he Just. He literally wilted and melted. I watched that live because out here, that match ended at about 1:00am local time in D.C. so 10:00am 10:00pm sorry, not am one. Yeah. 1:00am D.C. time, 10:00pm here in the desert. And we sat around watching it live and Taylor Fritz just melted. He melted.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Listener]

Literally.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Well, it's.

[Listener]

And it was good to see. I like watching Layla Fernandez and I was hoping that Radicanu was going to win her match against this Russian girl. And so I watched a lot of tennis and live time, but nothing. That's just after the Cubs games, post game and all that stuff that I got into the tennis and that. So that was my weekend of television.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, I mean, you know, I, I, the tennis looked very good, and I would not have watched it if it were not in D.C. i would. I mean, I admit that. And then I watched golf. I was hoping. Gotta rip. Would win because I'd like to see Gotterup come out of absolutely nowhere and make the Ryder cup, you know, I think that'd be exciting.

[Listener]

It would be. You know, let me just say this for a second while we're on, because I think this is warranted. What Mark Iron has done with the tennis is fabulous. It's a real stop and it's a real stop now. Real.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah. Men and women.

[Listener]

And women. It's just.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Listener]

I deserves. He doesn't deserve most. He deserves all.

[Tony Kornheiser]

All of it.

[Listener]

Of the credit. I mean, you and I used to go there when it just seemed like it was you, me and Charlie Brotman.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Listener]

And by the way, you know, you realize Charlie's 98 now.

[Tony Kornheiser]

No, I didn't. 98.

[Listener]

Cheryl looked it up. I didn't know.

[Tony Kornheiser]

98.

[Listener]

I'm. I'm pretty. I'm pretty certain. Maybe half somebody.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Well, the hair is only about seven.

[Listener]

I mean, Brock, come on, you know, how. Isn't that part of our lives?

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yes. Charlie Rotman is one of the greats of all time. He's one of. When you make a list of the important people in Sports in Washington, D.C. that's right.

[Listener]

Yeah, that's.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, he's up there and, you know.

[Listener]

And one of them, Speaking of what I watched is Thomas Boswell.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, he watched the speech.

[Listener]

Baseball hall of Fame. I watched that.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I read it. I. I read the speech. I loved it. It was a wonderful speech. I didn't see it, but good for him. Good for him. You're. Well, he, I mean, baseball, to be fair, baseball is his writing life. Whatever else he wrote, baseball is his writing life. And that's a hall of fame. You're in the basketball hall of fame.

[Listener]

Yeah, yeah, it was, it was, I know. I have a sense of what he.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Not anything.

[Listener]

You're in the, you're in the, you're in the Long island hall of Fame, aren't you? You and Larry Brown.

[Tony Kornheiser]

No, not, no, I'm not anything. I'm. But I am. But I got, I thought about this the other day. I got nothing in my life is as much of an honor to me or could be to me as getting an honorary doctorate from my college. You know, that's the greatest. Yeah, no, that's great.

[Listener]

And I, you know, I understand, first of all, that is, that is great. Period.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Listener]

And luckily, look, we're all, we're old enough now. We have things in our lives. For me, you know, when I was watching Boss yesterday, it took me back to four years ago. When you got in four years ago. Yeah. When I was standing there giving a speech.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Listener]

And I look out in front of me, eight feet away from me is Bill Russell.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Oh, boy, oh boy.

[Listener]

And Julius Irving. And then there's a standing ovation at the end of it. And Julius Irving. And when I walked down, I said, Julius, please don't do that. Bill Russell and Julius Irving.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I don't know.

[Listener]

You know, you can't, you can't and I won't. So I, I have a sense of how boz, I looked out in the audience and it was great to see Don Graham and George Solomon and Bob Costas, of course. Bob Costas.

[Sean]

Was there some lovely.

[Listener]

Probably there, you know, 90 of the times.

[Tony Kornheiser]

All right, I'll talk to you later. All right, Tom, Michael Wilbon, boys and girls. We'll take a break. Greg Garcia will join us. Yes, Greg, that's correct. He's going to talk about his new career when we get back as a stand up comedian and I am Tony Kornheiser.

[Greg Garcia]

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[Advertiser]

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[Greg Garcia]

You're listening to the Tony Kornheiser Show.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Randy Landis sends us this song from Fumo Landis Walsh and he writes. It's Randy Landis with Fumo Landis Walsh. Hope all is well. Attached is a new release of ours we hope you'll play. It's a high energy instrumental song called get in Line. Hope you like it. Same guys, Tom Walsh, John Fumo and me. Thanks for listening, Michael. If Fumo Landis and Walsh, people like that want to send in their original music, how do they do it?

[Guest]

Send us your music by emailing it to jinglesonycornizershow.com and they play in Greg.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Garcia and what are you doing? Do you have a new career? What are you doing?

[Sean]

You know what, here's the thing. So, yes, I think I'm officially a stand up comedian. I'm going to say it at this point. I've had enough gigs. I, you know, I did not seek this out. I mean, maybe I did in the back of my mind, but you know, like we've said on this podcast, forget to ask me to host his shows in Europe kind of as a joke. And then I did it and loved it and it went pretty well. And then, and then, and I got a big, a big gig. I'm gonna announce to you here. But, but before that, you know, I just took every opportunity to go up. My friends were asking me to go up at comedy clubs in la. I did that a couple times. I went up last week. Last Monday I was visiting him, helping out with something. So I, I did the Zany's in Nashville. I did two shows. I performed at the National Little Person Convention in San Diego. That was, that was awesome.

[Tony Kornheiser]

You told me about that. But this is like, this is a late career change. I want to know why. I've got to assume that this feels exactly right for you and that you're saying to yourself, why didn't I do this before?

[Sean]

Well, you know, it is always something in the back of my mind. I thought it would be fun to try, but I, you know, I was. I. It takes a lot of guts to get up there, and you don't. If you got one thing that's going well, you don't want to go look like a fool. But I was kind of hoist into it and. And I do enjoy it. I don't know if I'd call it a career. I've yet to make a dollar. It's costing me a fortune. I give myself to these places, I end up. Yeah, I buy dinner for everybody. You know, I make sure. I make sure that even if I bomb, everybody has a good experience. But. So, yeah, career is a bit of a stretch, but. But it's great.

[Listener]

And look, and the podcast people have.

[Sean]

Been great out there.

[Listener]

I.

[Sean]

Even at the. Even at the little person convention, I got a waist. Highland Caesaree.

[Tony Kornheiser]

That's great.

[Sean]

Fantastic.

[Tony Kornheiser]

That's great. How are you. How are you preparing to do stand up? In other words, I mean, do you. Do you literally write it out? Do you take notes? Do you. Do you have a construct and an order and an end? Do you have all of that?

[Sean]

Yeah, I mean, I think unlike some comedians who just. They go out there and they just work everything out on stage because they do it so frequently that they're like, yeah, I've got a kind of an idea. I'm going to mess with it tonight. No, not me. No, no, no, no, no. I'm a writer. I've got ocd. I have to be in control. It needs to. I need to know pretty much every word I'm going to say and how I'm gonna say it. And I think that's just, you know, the writer in me. So I'll just kind of go over it in my head, over and over. I'll time it out, because I gotta make sure that I have the right amount of time, because they'll tell you, you know, do six minutes, do eight minutes, do 10 minutes, whatever they want you to do. So I want to try to stick to the rules. But in a lot of ways, I was thinking about this, you know, in a lot of ways, I've been training my whole life because I love to tell stories, stories to people and get them laughing. Even as a kid, I was like, you know, I was the class clown. They put me anywhere near anybody. I'm trying to tell jokes. They used to, in elementary school, they'd stick me back by the water fountain because I. If you put me in the regular group of people in the class, I would talk the whole time, but even then I'd be thinking of jokes, and people would go get a drink of water, and real quick I'd be trying to fire jokes off to them before they went and sat back down. Then in the 10th grade, my teacher came to me and she said, listen, my English teacher, she goes, listen, you're funny, but I got a class to teach here. If you can shut up the entire class, I'll give you the last five minutes. She goes, you can get up the last five minutes and whatever. So I would just sit there and think about what I was going to say, and. And then she'd say, okay, here you go. And I would go up there and just. I'd be like, all right, so we took the Christmas tree out of the attic last night. And I do. My mislectio would let me do five minutes. And, you know, and even, like, I mean, for the longest time, I think also I just talk to myself in the car and try to make myself like a lunatic. I mean, Bluetooth is the best thing that ever happened to me. Now people think I'm talking to somebody on the phone instead of calling the police. So I've been training for this.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Tony, are you doing well at it? Have you. Have you bombed yet?

[Sean]

I don't think I bombed. I've been lucky that I haven't bombed. And maybe I just. I have friendly audiences or whatever, but I do.

[Listener]

I.

[Sean]

And I do. After writing TV for so long, I know what's funny. I know what's not funny. I don't know, maybe the level of laugh it's gonna get, but I do have a bit of experience writing comedy, so I have not bombed. There has been. I went to Vegas to my friend. He does a show at Jimmy Kimmel Comedy Club. And I really wanted to try. Try some new stuff. And I did probably about 16 minutes worth of stuff. I probably had about 11 minutes worth of material. So there were some quiet spots in there where I stuff. And then I'd note to myself, okay, maybe not that. Or if I'm going to do that, I'm going to need to make it better. But I always knew right around the corner I had something that was working. So then I got laughs. So I wouldn't consider that bombing. I'd consider it working on some new material because I still got laughs. I was at Zany's last week, and I flipped two words in a joke. And I had to back up and say, oh, I'm sorry, I meant to say this now. When I did that, it didn't mean much to the audience. My stomach went into my feet. I don't normally get nervous, but when I messed that up, my stomach got into my feet and I kind of. But I recovered and everything. And then I went right back to another room and I did it the right way and everything was fine. But those are the moments that when things aren't going perfect. But I think that's all part of it. And I also think that the more you do it, you start to realize, oh, the words don't have to get be perfect. That the way they're in your head because nobody knows how they're supposed to be in your head. You just need to make sure you get to the joke and everything makes sense. So I think the more I do it, the more relaxed I'll get. Think, oh, if I just messed up a little, I can just recover real quick. But I'm still new at it. It's just been a couple months.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Two things suggest themselves to me. One is you have a dear friend who's pretty good at this bargazi.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Does bargazzi ever help you? Does he ever steer you in a certain way? And the second thing that occurs to me is you've been a great writer of comedy for television. Is there a part of you that says, this is a show, I can make this into a show. I can tell you, I can tell American audiences what it's like to have a career change and try to be a stand up comic. And I can make that funny. So take either in any order you want.

[Sean]

Well, as far as Bargett see goes, yeah, he'll offer up a little advice. Not a ton. I mean, I don't think he's somebody that really likes to tell other people what to do with their stand up, but, you know, but he'll give me a little bit. Most recently I have a joke that I've been doing on stage that's a little bit. It's a little bit too dirty to do with him because he's very, very clean and everything has been very clean. But I have one that's. It's just a little. It's a little bit. So we talked before I went on at Zany's because they were doing a clean comedy show on a Monday night sponsored by kind of his brand. And we talked about it and we said, well, if you did this and this, and he gave Me an idea. And I go, okay, I'm going to do it that way. And he approved. Then I did it that way, and it worked. It got a good laugh. And then when they came in and said, does anybody want to go up in the big room? He said, greg, go up again. He knew I messed up that word, so he wanted to get me back on the horse. He goes. He goes, get back. Go, go. Go do the big room. He goes, now go do your dirty version. I don't care. Up there. You can go do it. And. And it did better. It does do a little bit better. But I think. I think we. Then we talked afterwards again and said, okay, well, why is it doing better? Okay, maybe we do this with the clean version. It'll work. And I'm anxious to try it with the new clean version. So we definitely talk about stuff. And his openers are great, and they've given me some advice as well as far as making it into a show.

[Listener]

I haven't.

[Sean]

I haven't considered that kind of thing yet. I don't know. It might be a little too autobiographical for me. I've got some other ideas I want to do, but certainly it could be interesting. But. But I mean, because there are a lot of interesting things about. And again, I would. Let's. Let's stop saying change careers. This is still just a funny fluke thing to do at this point.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Do you think it's a midlife crisis?

[Sean]

Oh, my gosh.

[Listener]

You know what?

[Sean]

I have a problem with the word midlife crisis. Okay? I have a problem with that. I think somebody jealous came up with the word midlife crisis. I think an angry wife one day came up with word midlife crisis. I've never seen a guy at a gas station driving up in a Corvette with a couple new tattoos and a young woman by his side saying he was going through a crisis. I think it's. I think it's more of a midlife. That's a midlife palooza, Tony. Dude had a blast.

[Tony Kornheiser]

So where are you? Where are you? What's your upcoming schedule? Tell the people where they can see.

[Sean]

Well.

[Listener]

Well, yes.

[Sean]

I mean. I mean, if you happen to be in the Baltimore area on August 21st and 22nd, and you want to sit with 14,000 other people in the CFG Bank arena, then you can see me opening up with eight minutes of material before you get to see the wonderful Nate Bargetsy. So, yes, I've gone. In four months, I've gone from stepping on stage to now opening in an arena in the round.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Wow. I mean, that's just great. That's.

[Sean]

I mean, I'm pretty nervous that. I'm pretty nervous that as I spin around to address everybody, I might get dizzy. That's my biggest concern is that my.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Fantastic. If you just fell down, if you got vertigo and fell down and that's the end of the career.

[Sean]

I may have to lay down for a second. Yeah, that could be it.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Well, you can bring out. You can bring a bed on stage with you as part of, you know, and if you don't have to use it, people will just wonder the hell is he doing with a bed? You know, or maybe.

[Sean]

I might get a beanbag on a lazy Susan and just have somebody slowly send me around.

[Tony Kornheiser]

You can do that. That's. That's great. All right. It sounds great. It sounds great. We wish you.

[Sean]

All right.

[Tony Kornheiser]

We root for you like crazy. You know that?

[Sean]

Yeah, Yeah. I mean, look, we root for me and Nate roots for me. But also, I think there's two great things that could happen. Either I make everybody in the stadium laugh, the arena laugh, and everybody has a great time, or I completely have a panic attack and fall apart. And then, you know, Nate would love it. He would absolutely love it. There you go. Not so easy, is it?

[Tony Kornheiser]

Thank you, Greg.

[Sean]

All right, take care.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Greg Garcia, boys and girls. He's our favorite person in the world and he's getting to do something that you know he wants to do, but he had never done it before. Never done it, had all these hit shows and now he's out there alone. That's great fun. We will take a break. We will come back with email and jingle. I am Tony Kornheiser.

[Guest]

This episode is brought to you by State Farm.

[Sean]

Sports are all about teamwork and so is insurance. Whether you need an in person or digital assist, State Farm is there to help you choose the right coverage for your home, car and more. Get a game plan that helps fit your life and talk to State Farm today. State Farm with the assist. Coverage options are selected by the customer.

[Guest]

Availability and eligibility vary by state.

[Tony Kornheiser]

You're listening to the Tony Kornheiser show.

[Musician]

Here comes Tony. Here comes Tony. Here comes Tony Smith. Got your emails, fax, Sent your notes. Here comes Tony. Here comes Tony. Here comes Mr. Tony Smack. Gonna read some for all of.

[Tony Kornheiser]

You regular people. Don't try that at home. You're not Annie Cress.

[Michael Wilbon]

She's.

[Tony Kornheiser]

You're not Annie Crest. That's just. Don't try. Amazing. Want to do the Bethesda bagel ad for us? Please.

[Michael Wilbon]

Yes. Bethesda Bagels. We love them. You will as well just go to BethesdaBaggles.com for the location in the DC area nearest you. Then pop on in and you'll be thrilled.

[Tony Kornheiser]

And before we get to the mailbag, let me just say I needed the shelter of someone Arms. Someone's arms. And there you were. I needed someone to understand my ups and downs. And there you were with. With sweet love and devotion. Deeply touching my emotion. I want to stop and thank you baby. I just want to stop and thank you baby. How sweet it is to be loved by you. The late, great.

[Michael Wilbon]

The late great Marvin Gaye.

[Tony Kornheiser]

The late.

[Michael Wilbon]

Which we found out that the title line comes from the Jackie Leeson great line. How sweet it is. Love that.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Thanks to our guest today, Michael Wilbon and Greg Garcia. Thanks as well to today's sponsors. Remember, you can listen to us on Apple podcast Spotify and ought to see if get show through Apple. Please leave us a review. So now we've had enough time to look everything up. And I was totally wrong. It's not Joe Pantoliano. It's not. It is Billy Bob Thornton.

[Michael Wilbon]

It is. Yes.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Again, he's. He's blonde in this one.

[Michael Wilbon]

Well, very little grayish hair. But yeah, I.

[Tony Kornheiser]

It looks blonde to me. But I've gotten everything wrong to this point. And Billy Bob Thornton appears to weigh 110 pounds, 115 pounds light fellow. Yes, but Billy Bob Thornton is a consequential actor.

[Michael Wilbon]

Yeah.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Wow. So, okay, you don't have to email me. I got it wrong. I stand corrected. We've looked it up. Thanks to Sean for first pointing it out. And then Nigel looked it up and we saw it and he said to me, I mean the exact words are, you're unbelievably stupid. It's Billy Bob for okay, Neil, Layer Vase, Chuck and Roxy, number 380 in Littleton, Colorado. Tony, please allow me on behalf of the Littleton chapter of Littles to invite all of our Rocky Mountain friends to the Colorado Summer of Littles event to be held on August 2, that is next Saturday or this Saturday. Yes, this Saturday from 12:30 to 4 at Bender's Restaurant and Bar in Westminster, Colorado. Details can be found on the Summer of Little's website and the loyal Littles podcast site. Since you are one of the privileged celebrities on the Wilbond text chain, please let him know we are roughly midway between his Chicago and North Scottsdale mansions and far enough from i95 if he might make what can't be more than a two and a half hour drive. Be our honored guest for some deep dish pizza. Toby Clark246 Everybody lists their numbers now. Summer Littles one week away. I wanted to reach out to you all the Bigs and Littles who haven't already heard to sign up and join others celebrating this Littles community that we have. DC will meet at Astro Beer hall in downtown, mere moments from the Metro Center Metro station. Not a bad walk from Gallery Place. We'll be there from 1:30 until 4. The Gnats host the brewers at 405. For those who want to continue the celebration, if I may, can I call your attention to one other Summer of Little event which may be more to your liking? If you care to jump in your bus and take a ride to Arkansas, you can attend not one but two Summer of Little events. There is a brunch event at 11 o' clock in Fayetteville, oh woo pig suey. And then a dinner event in Fort Smith at 5 o'. Clock. Of course, all this and so much more more can be found on The Summer of Little's website. Summer of Littles.com Toby Clark Tom Riley in Brooklyn Arrest Them, Prosecute Them Why didn't I think of that? It may surprise you to learn that there are in fact dedicated law enforcement professionals who spend their careers addressing these scams. And we do, when the mood strikes, arrest and prosecute people for these crimes. Unfortunately, the investigations are labor and time consuming and the perpetrators are often outside of the the country. When we were able to make a case, we face an uphill battle with judges to take these cases as seriously as the violent crimes they typically see. But next time I have to make a record at sentencing, I'll be sure to tell the judge. But your honor, Mr. Toney said he should go to jail. Yes they should. Yes they should. Yes. Please consider this my application to be the official prosecutor of this show we have from share to Haiku. Don't click that link and don't reply to emails and don't answer the phone. Again on Fraud and Scams from Sue Hidell in Cincinnati, I share your outrage regarding the fact that some unscrupulous person or group is sending out scam emails in an attempt to gain access to your data. However, as a former risk manager for a large credit card company, I can tell you these fraud rings involve an entire chain of specialized people, thugs who are very good at what they do and are very difficult to find. One group might just specialize in hacking to gain access to your data, like Payroll records, security number, Social Security numbers, everything on your phone. That group has no use for your data other than for profit and will sell it to someone who does. This new group now takes your data and uses it for a variety of things like stealing your tax return or opening mortgages where the profits go directly into pre established bogus bank accounts and the cash is withdrawn immediately, never to be seen again. For credit cards and gift cards. They will now sell these newly approved accounts to someone the in else who will likely sell them on the street for pennies on the dollar. Everyone in the chain makes money and you're stuck holding the bag. Michael is right that these groups are constantly changing their tactics and they are always staying one step ahead of the law. It's a game of whack a mole. In your particular example, it looks like American Express is a victim in all of this as well. I'm sure their internal attorneys and fraud investigators are in constant contact with the FBI to assist in breaking up these large fraud rings on a global scale. This is not the news you wanted to hear, but I think it's a reality of the world we live in today. Stay vigilant and protect your own data as much as possible. As my high school history teacher once told me, locks only keep honest people honest. I've never forgotten that. Good line from Andrea Clark. I work at Williamsburg Landing, a senior life plan community in Williamsburg, Virginia. We recently had FBI cybersecurity agent Jeff Lonzo come speak to our residents. Because of the uptick in emails, texts and phone calls like the one you received from amex, unfortunately, most of the people who send these scams are overseas and it's hard as law enforcement works to catch them. There are many more lined up to send out more phishing messages. One thing Mr. Lonza said that you can do to see if an email is legitimate, hover your mouse over or click on the sender's email address and if it doesn't look right, it probably isn't. I hope this helps. If you're ever in the market for a senior living community, let me know. We have some nice golf courses in the Williamsburg area. That's what I need.

[Listener]

Senior living.

[Tony Kornheiser]

And I need a 4,000 yard golf course. Get there in two. I think you're gonna have to go over to Ingleside to find a few people who remember Dizzy Dean. I don't dg. Okay, now look at this next one was a captive audience in the car the other day during your podcast. In this day and age, you have to remember if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck. It's not necessarily a duck. Like I tell DG every day, don't open any solicited emails. Regards, PG Fabulous Matt Rusay, Newtown, Pennsylvania Formerly Lawrenceville, New Jersey. I think that's Bob Ryan's hometown, Lawrenceville, New Jersey While we're all hopeful about potato yield, I wanted to prepare you for the worst case scenarios. I'm sure you're aware in the Canadian Potato Museum they have a section showcasing each of the 14 types of diseases that can kill a potato. To illustrate this point, each potato is in a little coffin with a plaque describing the disease. Should these potatoes not survive, perhaps the next intern could build little potato coffins.

[Listener]

It's funny.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Adam Vilsik, Pittsburgh Been listening for a long time. Finally had my own David Aldridge moment. Sort of I'm driving the family trucks. You're back from the Delaware beaches after a late lunch with a wife and kids, we're passing through Ellendale. I know it, where I see a line of four or five painting trucks headed down the other lane at a speed of 2 mph. As I rocketed past the line of cars trudging behind the paint trucks, I think to myself, thank God I'm not caught up in all of that. I had no idea in the other lane where Bootsy and the Hammer rethinking their life choices and plotting their escape through an adjacent cornfield, or thinking about how to make camp at a Royal Farms parking lot. The night before this almost chance encounter, we took the kids to Funland on a similarly beautiful summer evening. After a spin on the bumper cars and watching my 21 year old son and 18 year old daughter take on Superflip360, we decided to try our hand at some skeeball. Our dog Ladybird stayed home for this trip, so we decided she needed a stuffed animal souvenir. After the requisite boxing out toddlers and grandmas out of our decided dedicated lane, we went to work. Soon we had two stuffed fish, a turtle and a hot dog. Just one small prize and we could trade it all for a large badger. I took a turn but promptly flushed the mouse. My son steps up, gets the 200 with one ball left. With all the confidence in the world, he nails a 50 on the final throw and celebrated like he finished off a perfect game. Attached to pics of my kids reaction to the badger clinching throw and our sweet Ladybird enjoying the spoils of the flower. Funland War 2025 thanks for the laughs and to Michael, remember there's no age limit on good old fashioned summer fun with your kids. And forget this banking nonsense. Right down the middle every time, baby. It's really good pictures. Really good. Jeff Simpson, Arlington, Virginia. How much Neosporin will the top winners of the 2026 Tony Cade March Madness bracket get? Maybe the loser should all get a stick of iodine from Tony Beeson in Cincinnati. My latest electrical bill is embarrassingly high. As an expert in light bills, what should I do differently than what I am doing as we are now headed into the hottest part of the summer. Yeah, Everybody's sweltering. Oh, Dr. John Goldblum, thrilled you read my email referencing Morgan Press on Aaron Crickstein saying I know everyone. I have one more to drop on you cousin. Cousin Jeff. I wish I was kidding. Spent years in the freezing cold at Steeler games with Jeff and his dad. Okay, I'm done.

[Listener]

Wow.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Wow. Jeff Goldblum is his cousin. Jeff Goldman's like six five right?

[Michael Wilbon]

Huge.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Like he's one of the few. He and Vince Vaughn are the tallest actors.

[Michael Wilbon]

Yeah, yeah. Tall drink of water.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Wow. Yeah. How about that. Dr. John Goldblum knows everyone related to everyone. Todd Sanzone, Frederick, Maryland. Chuck and Roxy281. I just met Tim Kirchen outside the IKEA in Gaithersburg. That's it. That's the email they made. And Jeff Hines in Carmel, Indiana from the 7:27 interview with Liz Clark specifically talking about Jannik Sinner Liz. And all he did was reset, work harder and just bring a very aggressive no nonsense game. Even losing the first set at the Wimbledon final and they just crush. It's amazing Tony. He's got to get rid of that hat though, don't you think? Looks ridiculous in that hat. Said the guy wearing the mauve jacket on national tv. Got on your bike tied Everyone is always do wear white.

[Sean]

How much weight do you think I could bench press? Just make a guess. Ballpark figure.

[Musician]

The drummer is dragging on Guitar player's high string is coming on the strung bass player's late cause his car broke down but the boss man says hey you gotta start now it's gonna be a long night it's gonna be a long night yeah the bartenders giving the new girl the look Sound guys out back getting high with the cook Some joker put a hundred dollar bill in the jar Thinks it's going to get him just a little too far it's gonna be a long night it's gonna be a long night Cuz it's A word command situ. Playing everything you know and making up a few Gotta get em dancing make em stick around tighter than you think Outside town I would like to explain to you the American rotor map just in case you ever wake up at a crossroads and you don't know where you're at. You see it starts at the bottom and it goes by 10 I 10 goes across the top of Mexico all the way up to 90, right there under Canada, the medicine line from California to the east coast it goes by fives. So if you wake up at the intersection of 40 and 55, you're right there in the middle, as Levon Helm used to say. Memphis, Tennessee everything is working for a moment in time Couldn't hit a bad note even if you tried. House is happy we got one more song to get paid Break it down, pack it up and get gone it's gonna be a long night there's gonna be a alone cuz it's a working man Everything you know and making up a few Trying to get them dance and make them stick around Harder than you think Outside of too scared town Then a hundred miles later in a headlight dream Playing frogger with the truckers and trying to keep it clean.

[Listener]

It'S.

[Musician]

Gonna be a long night yeah it's gonna be a long night man it's gonna be a long night.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah it's.

[Musician]

Gonna be a long drive so keep your radio die stuck on the best radio station you can find. Keep it at windshield wiper speed, keep it between the ditches and if you still got an antenna, you listen real close to the wind out the window you can still hear the wolf man of Del Rio.

[Sean]

Sa Sam.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Sa.