“We’ll still have the toothpaste”

Summary

Podcast Summary: "We’ll Still Have the Toothpaste" on The Tony Kornheiser Show

Episode Details:

• Title: We’ll Still Have the Toothpaste
• Release Date: February 28, 2025
• Host: Tony Kornheiser
• Guests: Jay Bilas (College Basketball Analyst), Dave Sims (Yankees Broadcaster)

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1. Introduction and Listener Emails [00:00 - 03:54]

Tony Kornheiser kicks off the episode by briefly mentioning upcoming discussions about college basketball with Jay Bilas and insights from Dave Sims on his new role calling Yankees games. He then transitions into reading listener emails, highlighting appreciations from fans who connect deeply with his and Michael Wilbon's on-air dynamic.

Notable Quote:

• Annie Lopez from Boston writes:
  “I was out to dinner with two of my friends a couple of weeks ago on a Friday night, and I saw you and Will Bond on TV doing the show... I have said this for years. Yes, that we are the Muppets. We are the Muppets.”

2. Gene Hackman’s Death and Initial Reactions [03:20 - 16:13]

Tony shares the shocking news of actor Gene Hackman's passing at the age of 95, initially believing it to be a tragic accident due to a gas leak. He reflects on Hackman's illustrious career, particularly his role in Hoosiers, and contemplates the initial misconceptions surrounding his death. Upon receiving more information revealing possible foul play, Tony decides to refrain from speculating further, emphasizing the importance of waiting for official reports.

Notable Quotes:

• Tony Kornheiser at [10:14]:
  “There is no suspicion of foul play. So what must have happened? Well, gas leak.”

• Tony Kornheiser at [14:23]:
  “I don't want to say yet. It's shocking, but it has the potential, right? This is why you don't mention...”

3. Conversation with Jay Bilas on College Basketball [16:22 - 31:49]

Tony welcomes Jay Bilas to discuss the current state of college basketball. The conversation delves into Jay’s alma mater, Duke University, and his detached yet appreciative stance towards the team's performances. Jay emphasizes his priority for compelling and well-played games over team loyalties.

They discuss the evolution of college basketball conferences, with Jay highlighting the Southeastern Conference (SEC) as the premier conference this year, surpassing historical giants like the ACC during its peak in the 1980s. The dialogue touches on the commercialization of college sports and the balance between athletic success and ethical considerations, referencing coaches like Rick Pitino.

Notable Quotes:

• Jay Bilas at [20:12]:
  “When I go to a game... I don’t care who wins. All I’m really rooting for is a close, compelling game that people enjoy.”

• Jay Bilas at [25:19]:
  “When somebody's losing, you don't make excuses for them. You just point it out and analyze it the way you're supposed to.”

4. Discussion with Dave Sims on Yankees Broadcasting [32:14 - 45:16]

After a brief musical interlude, Dave Sims joins to share his excitement about his new role as a Yankees broadcaster. The conversation humorously explores the potential introduction of robot umpires in baseball, with both Tony and Dave expressing reservations about removing the human element from the game.

Dave reflects on his journey to becoming the voice of the Yankees, recounting his early aspirations to call Dodger games and his eventual fulfillment of his dream. He discusses the logistical advantages of broadcasting from New York compared to his previous stint in Seattle, highlighting the reduced travel fatigue.

The duo also touches on team dynamics, player performances, and the enduring legacy of the Yankees as a storied franchise.

Notable Quotes:

• Dave Sims at [33:11]:
  “Robots pitching, robots hitting. That's the real deal. Robot line drives a robot can of corn. Robot double play combo, robot round the horn.”

• Tony Kornheiser at [36:02]:
  “Isn't it true the Yankees are the greatest sports franchise in the United States of America?”

5. Listener Emails and Humorous Segments [46:00 - 56:28]

Tony transitions into the mail segment, reading a series of humorous and creatively exaggerated emails from listeners. These contributions often play on Tony's anecdotes and on-air stories, blending fact with fiction for comedic effect. Themes include exaggerated shopping tales, playful jabs at local establishments, and nostalgic references to personal and military experiences.

Notable Quote:

• Tony Kornheiser at [48:20]:
  “Peter Ginn or Gwin in Littleton, Colorado was Wade Boggs in line as well, stocking up for another flight? These are 40 beers.”

6. Closing Remarks and Planetary Parade Update [56:28 - End]

As the episode nears its conclusion, Tony and Michael Wilbon provide updates on the upcoming Planetary Parade—a rare astronomical event where seven planets are visible simultaneously. They discuss the visibility of each planet and the necessity of using telescopes for some, adding a lighthearted note to wrap up the show.

Notable Quote:

• Michael Wilbon at [46:40]:
  “We'll still have the toothpaste.”

---

Conclusion: In "We’ll Still Have the Toothpaste," Tony Kornheiser expertly weaves through a tapestry of personal anecdotes, listener interactions, and in-depth discussions with guests Jay Bilas and Dave Sims. The episode balances humor with insightful commentary on sports, entertainment, and current events, all while maintaining the signature conversational style that fans cherish.

Transcript

[Tony Kornheiser]

Hey, it's Tony. On today's show, we'll talk college basketball with Jay Bilis. We'll also talk to Dave Simms about how he's settling into calling games for the Yankees. But first, let's do some commerce, kids.

[Unknown (Commercial Voice)]

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[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

It's not time of year because if it's during your summer hiatus, you know, the beard goes a little bit. You're enjoying summer looks. I could see there's other shuffle.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I don't shuffle yet.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

Not yet.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I'm pretty good in those aisles. Yeah, and they added the aisle about four years ago and narrowed the store. And I can still get through those aisles. But I mean, let's, you know, let's get the facts. That's not me and that's not anybody. Nobody's. I can't believe anybody.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

Perhaps Larry David was shopping at the refugee Safeway.

[Unknown (Commercial Voice)]

The Tony Kornheiser show is on now.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I want to follow up on that.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

Well, we got follow up.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Good. I want to follow up on that because that's. I didn't do that.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

Yes, no, there is.

[Tony Kornheiser]

There is. I didn't do that.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

We get some, some level of resolution on that.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Okay, that's good. A couple of nice emails here. Annie Lopez in Boston. I'm a senior in high school. I wanted to reach out and say that I listen to PTI every morning on my way to school. My dad introduced me when I was probably 14 or 15. I live about 25 minutes away, so it works out perfectly. It's my favorite way to start the morning. Anyway, I was out to dinner with two of my friends a couple of weeks ago on a Friday night, and I saw you and Will Bond on TV doing the show. I suddenly remembered you were an actual TV show, not just two talking voices in my car. I got super excited. I turned to my friends and said, that's Tony and Wilbo, and that's the ESPN show I listen to every morning. My two friends who probably couldn't tell how many points a touchdown is worth looked at me and said, those guys, what are they like? I paused here. I wasn't quite sure how to describe the dynamic between you because I've never really had to see it before and I just remembered watching the Muppets movie the other night. So I said to them, you know those two old men Muppets that kind of argue with each other and mostly just heckle people and laugh about it? They're kind of like that, but like in a good and intelligent way. And I mean that as compliment. I have said this for years. Yes, that we are the Muppets. We are the Muppets. They both laughed and I didn't think of any anything of it until yesterday. They came up to me at a school and said they decided to give it a listen and now they are just as hooked as I am. So as a young person who hears a brand new name almost every time you do the birthday segment, rest assured that I'm setting the youth of today on the correct path to be as picky as possible about toothpaste, to watch the full length of games without settling for just highlights and above all else, avoid any form of analytics at all costs and know they are the death of humanity. I know that's more wil Bond, but it makes me laugh every time. Thanks again for actually making look forward to the drive to school. I'll be a fan as long as you're on the air. That's very, very nice. By the way, you mentioned toothpaste. I got another six yesterday. Another six in a big box from California. Thank you. But please stop because these are going to be prizes on March Madness. Yes, because you know I have enough.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

You got a lot.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I have enough.

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

Nothing more suspicious than showing up to the UPS store with a box of toothpaste.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Here it is. Toothpaste. Jason Karen's I most often catch Mr. Kornheiser on PTI. I so enjoy his takes and his banter with his co host. I wanted to say that I love that he has a frame sketch of him and Mr. Wilbon behind him. It's such an honoring thing to do for his co host and it is noticed. And he dresses really well. Thank you for holding up standards for men in their attire. Most importantly, thank you for the effort you put in to speak about sports in such an intelligent manner. You'd greatly appreciate. That's very kind. It's very kind to notice the things that are on the set as well.

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

These are Very timely emails.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, absolutely. For reasons that we won't go into on this particular show. Are all the planets aligned tonight? Right. This is the night.

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

But it's for the next couple days. Right, but.

[Tony Kornheiser]

But you can't see them with the naked eye. You have to have a telescope.

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

Well, you wear glasses.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Well, you think that's enough? You think that should be.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

We have the eclipse glasses. Will those work?

[Tony Kornheiser]

Has Noah contacted us about this?

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

Let me check. I don't believe he has.

[Tony Kornheiser]

This is allegedly. How many planets are there? Seven, eight. Whatever there are, they're not a lot. There's not nine.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

I thought it was nine planets.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Whatever they are.

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

Depends on your thoughts on Pluto.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

Yeah, Pluto sort of is on the. You know, on the bubble.

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

Mercury falls into line for rare. Seven planet alignment.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Okay, seven. So what does it say you have to do? When is it?

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

I think this starts tonight and it goes for the next couple days.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Is it at a certain time?

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

I assume it gets dark out.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Well, yeah, but maybe it's in the early part of darkness or maybe it's in the middle of the night. That's what I'm getting at.

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

Yeah.

[Tony Kornheiser]

So if you read that, just let us know. You can interrupt the open because the open's not that important.

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

This would have been helpful if you asked this, I don't know, 25 minutes ago. I could have done a little research for you. How about you like to keep us on our toes.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

I forgot to see the seven planet alignment. Find a place with a dark sky without light pollution. Sunset times variant. Yeah. Best time to start looking for the planets about half an hour after sunset.

[Tony Kornheiser]

That's. Okay.

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

So sunset's getting a little bit later for dad.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah. Yeah, I can. I can make it to sunset.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

Start looking below the horizon.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Well, how do you do that?

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

I'm just reading out.

[Tony Kornheiser]

How do you look below the horizon?

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

Well, if the horizon line is there, you just sort of set your eyes just a bit below it. Right.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Okay. I hate days like this. I know what's gonna happen in pti. It happened yesterday. I knew that when Detroit beat Boston, we were going to have to talk about whether Detroit was a contender. I know today because the Lakers and the warriors won last night.

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

Speaking of planets aligning, apparently always on February 27th.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Curry goes off.

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

Curry goes off.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I read that.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

What do you have? 56.

[Tony Kornheiser]

56. So I know that the first question is, who's more of a contender, the warriors or the Lakers? And I just want to say this because Mike can't get enough of this. All Mike cares about is this. And if you give Mike the opportunity, he will recite where teams are in the standings and talk about who they might jump and who they might not jump and then who they might not be. But I think they could push him to six. And it's. The reason the NBA is so difficult for me is because nobody cares about the regular season at all. They only care about the playoffs. It's still February. The playoffs are May and June. We have 30 games left to go.

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

And even then, only care when the home team loses.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Right. Of this 30 games left to go in this meaningless regular season that has been devalued by one particular move. It's been devalued by the NBA having more playoff teams than any other league. More than half of their teams are in the playoffs. Two thirds of their teams, 20 of 30 teams are in the playoffs. So when you have these questions, it's always the same. It's. It's sort of like, is Dak going to get paid? It's sort of like that. Warriors going to win or the Lakers going? It's just. It's ludicrous. And it's every single day. When football season ends, every single day, it's unavoidable. So I have to grin and bear it.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

You gotta brace yourself for that.

[Tony Kornheiser]

You know, I understand. I understand. I don't like it, but I get it. That's part. You know, what does Don Draper say? That's what the money's for, right? I'm gonna have to engage in this discussion, and I sit back and smile.

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

With your nice little sweater vest.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, maybe I'll do that. Maybe I'll do that.

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

When you do those panel shows, you just gotta fill.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yes, yes. Can I talk about Gene Hackman?

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

Yes, please.

[Tony Kornheiser]

First of all, I want to say I went to the chili cook off last night at Columbia. Lovely little event. Oh, wow. There's six different kinds of chili, and you could taste them, and they give you a little ticket when you walk in so that you can vote on the number, you know, one through six, where I like one.

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

Were they all pretty similar?

[Tony Kornheiser]

Did anyone go very, very tomatoey? They didn't have. Most of them. Didn't have beans. One was very tomatoey. I didn't particularly like it because that's not my idea.

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

Did they all use ground beef? Did someone use, you know, like, actual steak pieces cut up really small?

[Tony Kornheiser]

No, I don't think so. I think it was all ground beef. Someone had corn in it, for example.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

And I was a judge for a Chili cook off contest at one point. And there was a whole variety of meats that they would put in various chilies, including alligator, which I was not particularly fond of.

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

Yeah, you make chili once a year and make it as hot as possible.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

Yes, and I make like 40 gallons of it.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah. I don't really like it all that hot. So I liked one. I don't know who won. I didn't stay for the winner. I ate some chili.

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

Did the sides affect your tasting of it? Because normally you like to put chili over rice. Correct.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Always over rice. There were no sides.

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

It was not even cornbread.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, there was a little bit of bread. There were little tiny little roll things. I didn't use them.

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

Like a dinner roll or a sweet roll?

[Tony Kornheiser]

No, I don't know because I didn't use them. I just ate the chili. I went from one to the other to the other and saw some people I knew and was very happy to see them. Al was there, Robin was there, Barry was there.

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

Did this turn into a dinner? When does the tasting turn to dinner?

[Tony Kornheiser]

I didn't eat enough for it to be dinner. I came home and.

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

But you could have it if you wanted to.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I could have. I could have just stood there and eaten, inhaled it. I could have done that. Yes. It was very lovely event.

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

Just wait for the 5pm Swedish meatballs.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah. Was that. Yeah, the old days. Yeah, that was a lovely event. Lovely event. So let me get to the heart of what I wanted to talk about today, which is the death of Gene Hackman, only in this regard. So yesterday I get a message from a friend of mine that Gene Hackman had died at 95 with his wife and a dog. And I just thought to myself, wow, that's odd. And I read a couple of things about it, and the first things in the Washington Post and the New York Times, which I read, indicated the report was there was no suspicion of foul play. So no suspicion of foul play. You say to yourself, well, what must have happened? Well, gas leak.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

Yeah. Carbon monoxide.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Carbon monoxide. And overcome. And that's what I thought. So this is around 11:00. And now I'm having a call with Matt Kelleher and I say we should, you know, we shouldn't do a melancholy happy trails to Gene Hackman because after all, he is an actor. But we should acknowledge the fact that one of his great roles was as the coach Norman Dale in Hoosiers. That was one of the great roles. And we should say this is one of the great sports movies of all Time. I really resent it, by the way. And this is what happens all the time. Is it the best movie? You know, is it? No, no, don't do that. Yeah, don't do that. Everybody has to do that. Stop doing that on websites. Just appreciate the fact it's a great sports movie. It is not the greatest movie of sports movie. For all the time. For all time for me. Okay. Others are.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

Did you know that he hated that movie while he was filming it?

[Tony Kornheiser]

No.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

Thought it was going to be dreadful. The whole time he was like, this.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Is a stupid movie. It's going to be awful. Why? I'm in. And then he saw Dennis Hopper's greatness.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

Oh, Dennis Hopper's terrific. And then I guess Hackman saw the first cuts of it and was like, oh, okay, this is actually going to be brilliant.

[Tony Kornheiser]

So he's in a lot of great movies, as everybody knows. He's a great actor. And I read the obituaries in the New York Times and the Washington Post, both of which have been prepared for years, of course. In fact, the writer of one of them had already passed away, and it was acknowledged at the end of the obituary. And they both cast him in exactly the same way as an everyman kind of guy. So, I mean, I'm thinking to myself, fine, we'll acknowledge this. And I get to work. I go to work. And so now I get in around 3:30, something like that. 3:30, quarter to 4. And I say to Matt Kelleher, you know, let's just put this in. And he gives me a look and he goes, huh, I don't think so. And Matt Kelleher and Daniel Light and Mattawano are out there, and they go, you don't know, do you? And I go, no, I don't know. And they go, his wife's body had been mummified. Yeah. She had been decomposing. This was not something that happened yesterday to her, at least. Maybe to him. Don't know. And then he said, there's a lot of pills found around. So now you say to yourself, oh, this maybe isn't really good at all. Maybe there's a murder suicide pact. Maybe there's just a suicide pact. Maybe. And then they say to me that Gene Hackman had dementia. I didn't know he had dementia. I saw a picture of him a couple of years ago filling his car with gas. It didn't look like he had dementia or anything like that. And so we had to, and rightfully so. You back off.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

Oh, yeah.

[Tony Kornheiser]

You don't mention it. At all. People might say, well, why didn't. Well, this is why, kids. This is why you don't mention. Because now there is a suspicion about what happens. And now you can't go there. You can. And all the people who went there earlier in the day, and they did, because I saw it on television, on the network I work for, they're thinking to themselves, ooh, maybe I went too quickly on this, because. Do we know yet? I don't think we know yet.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

No, I do.

[Tony Kornheiser]

There has to be a toxicology report and stuff like that. But when you. When you are apprised of the fact that the wife's. She had been dead for a while.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

Yeah. Yeah, a few weeks.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Mummified. So, like, I. I thought mummified meant you were wrapped in gauze.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

Yeah.

[Tony Kornheiser]

To me, is what mummies are. But as a whole process.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

Yeah. I don't know how it works that if you're above ground, that that happens.

[Tony Kornheiser]

So I don't. Yeah. I don't want to say yet. It's shocking, but it has the potential, right? It has the potential to be shocking.

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

Yes.

[Tony Kornheiser]

So I don't know. We don't.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

I think two things that.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Is there. Is there a late thing? Are you looking?

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

No, it's still. What you're describing. We're still in that phase of discovery.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

I think police said that they didn't appear to be evidence of a gas leak.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Right now. I read that, too. So that crossed that off the board.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

And there are two more dogs who were outside.

[Tony Kornheiser]

They were alive.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

Who were alive.

[Tony Kornheiser]

There was one dead dog in the closet. In the.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

Yes.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Dog in the closet. Like, I don't. There's no explanation, but my first question would be, was the dead dog put in the closet? And after death?

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

Yeah, I.

[Tony Kornheiser]

So I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, nobody really knows.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

It goes from a. You just immediately feel sorrow because he was such great actor. Such a great actor.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Popeye Doyle, French Connection. Yeah. That's the first time.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

Bonnie.

[Tony Kornheiser]

And he's like, brother, come on.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

That's the first time in Where's Pop By Door? Where I heard a reference to P.J. clarks. Because in French Connection, too, he says, what would you like? I just want a hamburger from PJ Clarks. It's like, I got to go there now. And he was lifelong friends with Dustin Hoffman.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yes. They studied acting.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

They were roommates together. In fact, I saw an interview.

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

Voted most likely, did not succeed.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

Yeah, I think so.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Everybody liked Gene Hackman. Yeah, he was great. And everybody likes the bird Cage. Terrific in everything he did.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

But he called. I saw this interview with Dustin Hoffman.

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

My first R rated movie.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Really? Which one?

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

The Birdcage.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Oh, the Birdcage. Okay.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

But he called Dustin Hoffman in. He's calling him Dusty.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

That just made me smile because I've never heard Dustin Hoffman referred to as that. And Bob Duvall, like another one of them were all like roommates together. Sure.

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

The Academy is trying to get this sorted out before.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

Oh, yes, I have to. Oh, you've got to do a big Kimberly.

[Tony Kornheiser]

That was another couple different versions. Another thing that I thought of, that he died at the occasion of his death is so close to the Oscars that you might even begin with that. Yeah, I thought that at 10 in the morning, by 3 in the afternoon, I was rethinking that.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

Yeah.

[Tony Kornheiser]

So I don't. I just don't know. Anyway, that's. I'm sharing that just because that's one of the small little things in life when you do a show and you try to be current. You don't know.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

And one more movie that you recommended very highly to me that he was in the conversation.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Oh, great movie.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

Yes.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Oh, it is a great. It's just great. Just great. All right, so we'll take a break. Who's first, Dave Simms or Jay Bilis?

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

Jay Bilis.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Jay Bilis. When we return, I'm Tony Kornheiser.

[Unknown (Commercial Voice)]

You're listening to the Tony Kornheiser Show.

[Tony Kornheiser]

This is the Ethos Reid. Your family depends on you, so get serious about something. Every family needs life insurance. Ethos has made securing life insurance as smooth as possible. Normal coverage from work may not be enough and rates go up as you age. I know that with Ethos you can apply for affordable life insurance quickly and easily online, all without a medical exam. Just answer a few health questions for a free quote in less than 10 [e-mail] Tony Ethos gets you coverage quickly and easily. And it's all online. They got term life policies. 10 to 30 years start as low as $10 a month. Come on. Ethos lets you save time with customizable. Love that word. Coverage to fit your needs and budgets. Plus, you can start your policy instantly. You'll be in good company. Two million families have trusted Ethos to help find the right coverage. Give your family peace of mind today for whatever the new year brings. Term life policies start as low as $10 a month. Get your free [e-mail] Tony that's E T H O S.com Tony you're listening to the Tony Kornheiser Show. The name of this song is Ship to Shore. Y I referred in my youth to telephone conversations that a person had from ship to shore. That's not the extraordinary name that we're going to talk about. Extraordinary Name is the name of the group. It's actually pretty good. It is. The name of the group is Librarians with Hickeys. It's ridiculous. Librarians with Hickeys. Big Stir Records is delighted to bring you a new single from Librarians with Hickeys, the fourth from the Akron, Ohio indie rockers widely lauded new album, how to Make Friends by Telephone. Shift ashore is out March 7th. That's next week, accompanied by a new musical video. It's cleared for airplay. We're happy to play it. Just a weird name plays in Jay Bilis, who we talk to every once in a while. We don't talk to Jay much, even though I really like Jay, because I don't want to bother Jay, because I like Jay so much. I think he's so smart and accomplished. I don't really want to be a pest and ask him to go on another idiotic podcast. Everybody in America now has a podcast. Most people have two. Most people have a weekend podcast and a regular podcast. But let me start with this. I don't know that I've ever asked you this. Duke's pretty good lately. They have one loss, I guess to Clemson, but they're blowing people out. You went to Duke. Do you have a soft spot in your heart for Duke that you can or cannot admit? Or have you hardened yourself towards Duke so nobody can ever say, well, of course he likes Duke. He went to Duke.

[Jay Bilas]

That's a good question. That's a question I've been asked before. You know, everybody went to school somewhere. So do I have a soft spot for Duke? I mean, the answer is yes. I mean, I love the place, but I'm 40 years removed from having gone to school there and haven't been a player there. I was an assistant coach for a few years in the early 90s, but my connection there now is as an alum that gives money, my daughter went there, stuff like that. So I'm removed from it. I still have some friends there, but not as many as I used to. But it has nothing to do with how they play. People can believe this or they can't. It's up to them. But when I go to a game, and I think that's true, this is true of the overwhelming majority of my colleagues, we don't care who wins. I mean, all I'm really rooting for in a game is that it's a close, compelling game that people enjoy and it's highly rated, and that's where my interest lies. And. But if I went to a Duke, North Carolina game, like I do quite a bit.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Jay Bilas]

And cared who won, I wouldn't get through the game. I don't care. Hubert Davis is one of the people I. I love the most in this world.

[Tony Kornheiser]

You work together, you guys work together.

[Jay Bilas]

We work together for years. And. And there's nobody I like and respect more than Hubert. So when, you know, it was interesting when, when North Carolina beat Duke in the, in the Final Four in Coach K is what turned out to be Coach K's last game. I was doing the game for ESPN International, which has made me a huge star in Scandinavia. But, but when I was, when, when the buzzer went off, I was watching Carolina celebrate, and I was thinking, I was watching Hubert Davis and I was going, how great is this for Hubert? And then I looked down the other end and Coach K was walking down to shake hands. And then, you know, the Duke team was walking off, and it hit me that, my God, this is last. That's the last time I'm going to see this. So that was the first time I remember honestly thinking, oh, my goodness, you know, kind of Duke lost, but it wasn't because they lost. It was, you know, I was so immersed in the game and Caleb Love hit that great shot, and it was a fabulous game. And, you know, you felt great for Hubert and for North Carolina and for Caleb Love and RJ Davis, all these guys. And then, and then, you know, it kind of hits you that, man, this is the last time I'm going to see Coach K walking off the floor, win or lose in a game. So that, that's one of the only times kind of, you know, there was a personal feeling to it beyond, you know, the historical stuff. People ask you all the time, they say, hey, what was it like playing for Coach K? Or all that stuff? So you answer those questions, and that comes up on the air from time to time. But, but as far as, as, like, this deep rooting interest, it just doesn't exist because you, you're analyzing it. So when Duke, when Duke plays well, you say it. When they're the best team, you say it. And when they're not very good, you say that. And I've always felt like that's the, that's the only way. Like, I don't think I Don't think fair is difficult. Fair is. Fair is really easy. What's difficult is having to deal with. With not being fair. Then you got to start making compensations, all these different places. And I've never. I've never done that and ever thought about doing that.

[Tony Kornheiser]

ESPN International. Does this mean that if I ended up in Oslo, somebody would say, do you know Jay Billis?

[Jay Bilas]

Yes, that's what happened. So the ESPN International games go everywhere but the United States. And so we're sitting there right near. We're right near Jim Nance and Bill Raftery and Grant Hill, and they get treated way better than we do. But. But yeah, it's a. It's an awesome responsibility that we're on military bases and other places all over the world, and everybody like Dan Schulman always loved doing that game because his friends in Canada could hear him on the Final Four. And, you know, I'm looking very much forward to Canada being our 51st state. So that Dan has to stand for the national anthem.

[Tony Kornheiser]

No, it's going to happen. And the prime minister just becomes another governor.

[Jay Bilas]

Yeah. I mean, we tease Dan about it, but I'm always mindful of how insulting that is to Canadians. And he feels it, too.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Well, they're mindful of it, too. I mean, let me just. I want to stay on Duke just for this one thing. You were a player of consequence at Duke, you know, when Duke under Mike Krzyefsky broke through. I'm assuming that generationally, especially because you're still involved in sports, I'm assuming that generationally, there is a chance that some people could become your friends. There's a chance that JJ Redick, who's doing this wonderful job unexpectedly to me, but not to others with the Lakers, could have been your friend. That John Shire on a championship team could have been your friend. Like, does. Does that in any way influence the way you look at games, or am I off base?

[Jay Bilas]

It does not influence it. Of course. JJ is a friend and John Shire is a friend. Hubert Davis is a friend. Eric Montross, who passed away recently, was a great friend. Matt Doherty, whom I played against, was a friend. So you have friends throughout the business. And it's not dissimilar, Tony, to your existence. I mean, you have friends throughout the. Throughout the sports world that you people, you really have known for a million years and admired.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yes.

[Jay Bilas]

And when somebody. When somebody's, you know, losing, you don't make excuses for them. When they're losing, you don't. If they make a bad decision in a game, you don't make an excuse for it. You just point it out and analyze it the way you're supposed to. And when I've had friends that have been fired and when they get fired, you don't make a big deal. People get fired. And so you don't make a big deal out of it. It's just, it's part of the business. So then, and I think everybody understands that. But, but, you know, one last thing on this. Like, you know, you've probably heard this a million times from, I mean, I used to hear it from Billy Packer where, you know, you know, 50% of the people who listen to a game think he's biased toward one team, and then the other 50% think he's biased toward the other team.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Right.

[Jay Bilas]

And so I get, I get, I happen to think it's unreasonable, but I'll get biased claims from Carolina fans and then I get biased claims from Duke fans. They say, oh, he's bending over backwards to seem fair. And like, maybe I, you know, and then if I ever get into a serious discussion with somebody about it and they say, well, well, I hear you being biased against Duke because you want to seem fair. And I'll say, well, so. But you're a Duke fan. So it's my mouth that's biased, not your ears.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Jay Bilas]

And that always.

[Tony Kornheiser]

That shuts them up. That's a good line. It's funny because you mentioned that people that you like over a long period of time, I mean, Rick Pitino, I've known Rick pitino for over 40 years. I have rooted. You know, I mean, it's easier for me. I'm not calling a game. It's easier for me to have, you know, like, somebody and hope that they do well. By the same token, I know that there are things in Rick Pitino's off court life that are sort of icky and, and he's bounced around a little bit and it hasn't been great. But I do find myself, particularly at St. John's rooting for him. I always thought that would be a great landing spot. He grew up on Long island and it's, you know, it's the Catholic Church reaching out to Rick Pitino, as Iona was, and giving him another chance. Are they any good? I'd like to think they were good, but I'm not certain.

[Jay Bilas]

Yeah, they're very good. They're not offensively gifted, so they don't shoot it great, but they do all the things that great teams do. They play unbelievably hard, which you expect from a Ric Patino team. And that helps make up for a lot of mistakes that can be made in the game. They're great defensively. They mix it up on you. They make it really difficult, and they really rebound well. So they get extra possessions through defense and rebounding, offensive rebounding, things like that, and they make the game really chaotic, and so they're legit. Now. Do I hold them among the seven or eight teams that I think can win the whole thing? I don't.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Right.

[Jay Bilas]

But are they a team that can reach a Final Four? As you know, it's a lot easier to reach a Final Four because somebody fall down your bracket, things like that. It's a lot easier to reach Final Four than when the whole thing. But. But I'm not surprised, you know, that. That Rick's done so well. But he's a. He's a case that, you know, I like him too, very much. But I'm not. I'm not naive, and I'm not blind to the fact that a lot of people don't.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Jay Bilas]

So you. You have to. There are things that have happened in his past that have to be brought up from time to time for context. But. But, you know, you just kind of deal and it just shows. Like, it doesn't. Whatever. Whatever has happened in the past, winning is an amazing cleanser. And. And these schools want to win and they will, you know, if you could talk about values that. They love to talk about values, but their decisions really reveal their values. And, you know, like, what happened in his past was trumped by the fact that this coach can make us a winner and that's more important to people.

[Tony Kornheiser]

No, and I understand that. I mean, like, I find myself. I'm going to be harsh here. I really like Bruce Pearl. Bruce Pearl has had stuff in his background that isn't great. I really like Rick Barnes. I don't think he's had any of those things. They are coaching in the sec. I know that you've said time and time again this year that the SEC is by far the best conference. And I find myself wanting to root against the SEC because I don't think it's fair to be the best conference in football and basketball. Am I being too harsh here?

[Jay Bilas]

No. I mean, that's what. That's what fans do, you know, And I was the same way growing up. Like, I grew up in Los Angeles. I was a huge UCLA basketball fan. I was a total homer UCLA basketball fan and a USC football fan. And so as a result of that, I Didn't care for Notre Dame at all.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Jay Bilas]

And it was really only until I got to know Digger Phelps and I was on the campus a lot that I'm going, hey, Notre Dame is really cool. It's such a great place. It's got its own way of doing things. But, you know, it's the same reason that people didn't like the Patriots when they're winning all the time, and they didn't like Bill Belichick's press conferences because he won all the time and kind of turned his nose up at the media. Now he's a member of the media, or now he's back in coaching, but he's a member. Yeah, but. Yeah, that's just fandom. I don't have any problem. I love that kind of thing.

[Tony Kornheiser]

When you were playing. When you were playing the ACC was. They were still the best conference. Right. Or had the Big east bubbled up and overtaken, however briefly, the. The acc?

[Jay Bilas]

I think, objectively, the Big east had risen to be the ACC's equal. Yeah, they had that one year where they had three teams that made the Final Four. That was my junior year in 1985.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Jay Bilas]

But top to bottom, the ACC was better, and the numbers proved it. If you go back and look at all the analytics in talking about the SEC this year, it's compared to the acc. The last time numbers were put up like this by a conference, it was the ACC in the mid-1980s. And, you know, that was when Michael Jordan was at North Carolina and Lynn Bias was at. At Maryland and Ralph Sampson, was it Virginia, all that stuff. That was all in one league in our league, and it was eight teams. So every game you played, you're playing essentially against the top 25 team. So you could. You could go seven and seven in the league. Back then, there were only 14 league games because eight teams. You go seven, seven in the league, and you were ranked 15th in the country.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, it was really something. It was. You know, I. I'm sure you feel the same way. The wanton expansionism of all of these leagues is terrible. Terrible. It robs us of everything that we grew up with. You know, I. Just awful.

[Jay Bilas]

It's different. Like, I don't. I can't say I like it, but I'm so used to these naked money grabs and what. You know, that. That bothers me less than the ridiculous rhetorical stances that these athletic directors and presidents and all that take when they talk about, you know, doing the best for the student athletes, student athlete welfare. You're like, please shut up.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Please shut up.

[Jay Bilas]

Like, there's no student athlete welfare in USC and ucla. Going to Piscataway, New Jersey, for a league game on a Wednesday night, like, that's ridiculous. But it's about money, and that's okay. Just say, hey, this is a better money deal for us and we're going to do that. That's fine.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Thank you for being on. I didn't ask you any questions about really any teams or anything, but I just like to talk. Thank you, Jay.

[Jay Bilas]

No, it's my pleasure. And thank you for playing librarians with hickeys, because that was my experience as a younger person, as librarians are freaks.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Fantastic. Jay Bilis, boys and girls. We will take a break. Dave Sims will join us and talk about his excitement at calling Yankee games, which begins for real, you know, at the end of March. I'm Tony Kornheiser. This is the Tony Kornheiser Show.

[Dave Sims]

Tony Kornheiser Show.

[Dan Byrne]

They're gonna try out Roman robot umpires next year. That's what they're saying. That's what I hear. Robots calling balls and strikes. That's the stuff. Robot umpires is fine, but it don't go far enough. They oughta have robot players on the field, robots pitching, robots hitting. That's the real deal. Robot line drives a robot can of corn. Robot double play combo, robot round the horn. And while they're at it, they ought to have robot fans. Robots eating hot dogs, drinking beer from cans. Robots sing the national anthem, prayerful and solemn. Robots in the press box banging out a robot column. Robots everywhere.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Love that. Dan Byrne. Love that. As a genius plays in our friend Dave Sims, where are you on. On robot balls and strikes at home plate.

[Dave Sims]

I don't have any pom poms out, I can tell you that. You know, it's a game played by perfect people and you gotta have mistakes every now and then. I think that, what a little bit I've seen of it, you know, it's limited, limiting, and you gotta really be savvy about how you use the calls. I guess I could live with it. I'm not, you know, put it this way, I'm not going to get any blood pressure problems because of it. But I final answer, I'd say I'm not a big fan. I'm not. I'm not looking forward to it.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I am close to where you are. In other words, I accept the frailties of human umpires, and I think everybody does. If you miss, you miss. By the same token, I've Seen how this works in tennis, and fans really like it. And it's only two. You know, you only get two, and fans really like it. And so I'm sort of. I'm okay with it. I am okay with it. We had Buster only on the show yesterday on pti, and Buster said. Because we were talking about Scherzer and all of Scherzer's objections, because Scherzer, look, you know this as well as I. Scherzer and Verlander and Kershaw are going to feel exactly the same way about everything because they're getting into Cooperstown on the old stuff, not the new stuff. But Buster said no, he's really in the minority. All of the younger players seem to like it.

[Dave Sims]

Well, because they've experienced it. So I guess, you know, moving forward, I mean, we're. You and I and Buster, and those three pitchers are old heads. So, yeah, you know, I think I'm pretty adaptable. But, you know, and it does work in tennis. There's no question about that. It's a beautiful thing. So. And the fact that, you know, you only get. What do you get to two. Yeah, I think that's good. That's a good number. And you want to save it for.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Late in the game, so. Yeah, I think you do. So that's why I don't think you should ever let a pitcher do it, because a pitcher will do it on the first two pitches, right? It's got to be the catcher. And then, you know, it's going to be signaled from the. It's going to go back and forth to the dugout, and they're going to get hung up on it. But it's. It doesn't seem like it takes a long. I sort of think it's okay.

[Dave Sims]

There's your key, you know, replays that we get it first, second, or third. Sometimes at home, it's like, yo, fellas, we got a game here. We have nice, nice, nice little roll work in here. And you're slowing everything. Make a decision, you know.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Right.

[Dave Sims]

Look at the videotape. And let's go. That. That is the one. That is a tremendous asset. A plus for the ABS. That it's like inside of what, 20, 30 seconds?

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, yeah, I'm good with that.

[Dave Sims]

You know, if that's what it is, hey, I'm good. Hey, it's like, hey, let's play ball.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you are going to do the Yankees, and it's one of the great jobs in the world to be calling the Yankee games, but. And there's a but here the greatest situation in the world is Charlie Steiners in this regard. Charlie grew up in Malvern, Long island, was a Dodger fan, imagined himself calling Dodger games when he was 5 and 6 and 7 years old and got that. You grew up in Philadelphia. Would the Phillies be that job for you or is it the Yankees?

[Dave Sims]

Wow, that's a great question. Back in it. Well, I have this job and I'm thrilled to have it.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Dave Sims]

As a kid playing, you know, playing baseball, playing every board game, dice game, you name it game for you know, close to base or playing Appa.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Dave Sims]

Oh God, please. It would have been the Phillies because you know it was hometown.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Dave Sims]

And I thought I had a shot in 99, 2000 when I did their Sunday pregame show and I thought oh here it is, you know there's keys in the door, turn that bad boy and let's, let's do this. And it didn't happen. But hey, thankfully for the Seattle Mariners that happened. But yeah, it a man, it's the Yankees. I'm thrilled. The Phillies, we played the Phillies up here in New York. That's history and it's great memories. Although I still, I almost wear it like a badge of honor. And you're old enough to remember up 6 1/2 12 to play October, September of 24.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Oh sure.

[Dave Sims]

Ruiz Steel's home with Frank Robinson at the plate. Give me a. Come on. What are we doing?

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, well that's cause he only used two pitchers. He just kept using the same two pitchers. Doesn't work that way. The Yankees are, they are historically they are the greatest sports. I don't, don't tell me what the Dallas Cowboys are worth. I don't care about that. Isn't it true the Yankees are the greatest sports franchise in the United States of America?

[Dave Sims]

That without question. My brother in law came back from Italy not too long ago and whose logo did he see on multiple caps? Yankees. Come on. It's most iconic franchise in our sport and in the country. And you know, and you were talking about Charlie dreaming five, six, seven years old. He probably dreamt it a hell of a lot harder than I did at 5, 6 or 7. It's like I wanted to play.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Right.

[Dave Sims]

I was a halfway decent player in high school and college. Certainly not good enough to make it in the big leagues. But if you were to tell, you know, write A letter to 8 year old 567 year old Dave Davey Sims in, in Philly, dude, you're going to go up and be the Yankee Radio voice. I said, excuse me, Security. Yeah, one of those kind of deals.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah. No, no, that was Charlie's dream as a really young kid. You were physically. Well, you did Seattle. You're so physically isolated in Seattle. It's so far away from everything else. And now in New York, you can almost reach out to three of the teams that you're going to play or something like that. Are you. Do you have any thoughts about that?

[Dave Sims]

Oh, goodness gracious, yes. Last year, Yankees traveled 18,000 fewer miles than the Mariners. Domestically, the Mariners travel the most miles.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Sure.

[Dave Sims]

The Dodgers and Padres open career. They traveled the most miles. We have. The Yankees have. I believe it's my count, last count, I. Look, it was three. No, one three city road trip. Everything's a two city road trip and everything. The proximity, being on the glorious i95. Carter, everything is Bing, bang and boom, man. Yeah, I don't. It'll be easy for packing, you know, for these road trips. It'll be, It'll be a lark. Hey, let's go. We're gonna go to Boston and Toronto and be back for three series and then we'll go to, let's see, we'll go to Pittsburgh and Detroit, be back. That's what it's like. That's the rhythm of this season. Look, I've looked at that schedule. It's like, man, that's a thing of beauty.

[Tony Kornheiser]

So you, I'm sure you had the same experience when you were a young writer at a newspaper. There's a trip that happens every single year. It's a Yankee trip or a Mets trip that the veteran writer doesn't want. It happens in June or July. They just don't want it. They don't want to have to do it. In my case, the trip that I was sent on because you say a two city road trip, this is more than two. The trip was Baltimore, Detroit, Kansas City, Oakland with the Yankees. In a period of time when at least three of those cities were awful, you did not. You were afraid to step foot in those cities. Right. And that was the. That was the trip that I was on. You know, every year you took that trip because the older guys said, no, let the kid do it. You learn. Yeah, you learn about baseball. But it was, you know, 14, 15 days, long time.

[Dave Sims]

I went on, I think the first Yankee road trip might have been the first big league road trip I went on. When I was at the Daily News. I want to say it was 78, 79. I remember it was going to Detroit. And that was not a Detroit heyday in 79.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Was not. Was not.

[Dave Sims]

And I don't remember the other two. I just remember going there. Remember Lindell, AC and all that stuff. But yeah, you know, trips that I look forward to this year. I mean, I got, you know, I got one. My youngest son's in Seattle. I got family in la. That. That's going to be great. Miami in like August, July, August, Tampa Bay. July, August, Tampa Bay. Playing at Steinbrenner Field.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Dave Sims]

Yeah, that's. That's not a lot of giggles given that we're looking at. Puts you over under on rain delay.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah. Every day at 4:30. Yeah. Deluge.

[Dave Sims]

It's gonna be brutal. And heat and humidity. So I don't anticipate having a weight problem, but if I do, I'll be able to shake it off in those trips.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Okay, that's good to know. How do you feel about the beard thing?

[Dave Sims]

I want to see these guys when I. This is the closest I've ever been to a ring. I want to see him get a ring. I want a ring. I don't care about the beards. You know, I understand that Mr. Steinbrenner had that edict down. I get it. But it's 20, 25. Things evolve. This generation, they want to. That's how they want to be hip, they want to wear it that way. As long as it's neat and trimmed, which I'm big on. If you're going to wear it, trim it up, make it look good, I'm fine with it. I have no problem with it.

[Tony Kornheiser]

So I'm fine with it. But I have a certain longing because to me, it's like wearing all white at Wimbledon. Like, it's a very small thing. It's the last traditional thing. We're paying you a lot of money to play for the Yankees, so indulge the fact that we're gonna ask you not to have a beard. And I'm perfectly good with the new rule, but I didn't hate the old rule, you know what I mean? I didn't hate it totally.

[Dave Sims]

Hey, here's the way I'm looking at tone. I did 18 seasons in Seattle. Lovely people, great ballpark. I made the playoffs once.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah.

[Dave Sims]

You know, if these cats want to wear beards and they're going to get deep in the playoffs and get to the World Series and win the damn thing, sign me up. Give me that pen. You know, I'm not going to get hung up on. I mean, on beards and whatnot. It's been great talk show fodder here in New York. Oh, my God. It's been really. It was relentless last week at this time. So, you know, I want to make sure. I want Stanton to get healthy. Here's my concern. I want Stanton's. His tennis elbows to heal up and whatever else is going on in his life to get. Get straight. And I want good health for everybody because this team has a chance to be really good.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Did you know Aaron Boone from broadcasting? Did you ever do games with him?

[Dave Sims]

No, I never did games with him, but I met him. First time I met him was at Wrigley Field. He was with ESPN. We were in Wrigley. I went. It was 2016. A really nice guy, and. And like you, he joined me. My. My son's on a podcast a couple of weeks ago, and he was great. It was going into the Super Bowl. He was born in, you know, he's raised in great affiliate area, so he's an Eagle fan. So that was a. That was a commonality that I discovered, I guess, when he got the job and somebody wanted to play and say, you know, I guess we're talking football and says, you know, your manager is an Eagle fan. So I went up to him at the cage and we wound up talking 15 minutes on Eagles, about five on the Yankees, about, you know, when he first got the job. So I like the guy. I think he takes too much BS from. From a lot of people. I think a lot of Yankee fans. Hey, he made it to the World Series, right? Yeah, I've been wondering since till 9, but given other situations out there, Take it easy.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, no, I. Yeah, I like him. I mean, everybody who ever worked with him at ESPN likes him. By the way, speaking of Eagles fans, they're coming after the Tush Push because they can't stop it. What is this?

[Dave Sims]

Let's go back in. Outlaw the forward pass. You couldn't stop. They learned how to figure it out. Come on, stop. You know, believe me, I'm reveling in this Super Bowl, super bowl victory, trust me. And I'm glad that it's gonna be here to stay. Come on, it's a football player. Make a play. Come on.

[Tony Kornheiser]

That's exactly right. Stop it. You want to ban it first? Stop it. And then you can ban. If you can't stop it. Shut up. We're thrilled for you. Enjoy this. Have a great time.

[Dave Sims]

I will. And I look forward to seeing you guys. I think Washington, though, comes up here, but I stay in touch and we'll listen to you guys all the time. And really enjoy hearing you guys. And all the best to everybody. Let's cheese a re, baby.

[Tony Kornheiser]

All right. Thank you, Dave. Dave Sims, boys and girls. We'll take a break. We'll have email and jingle when we return. I'm Tony Kornheiser. You're listening to the Tony Kornheiser Show. The Tony Kornheiser Show.

[Unknown (Musical Guest)]

Here comes Tony. Smile those maxes and your notes. Here comes Tony Smile Bag.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Thank you to Joe and Molly Chambers for that. And Joe, music always good. You want to do the Bethesda bagel ad for us?

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

Yes, Bethesda Bagels. We love them. You will as well just go to Bethesda Bagels.com for the location in the DC area nears you. Then pop on in and you'll be thrilled.

[Tony Kornheiser]

That will do it for us today. Before we get to the mailbag, let me just say in the chilly hours and minutes of uncertainty I want to be in the warm hold of your love and mine to feel you all around me and to take your hand along the sand But I may as well try and catch the win. That's Donovan. That's one of the greatest songs ever written. Catch the win. Fabulous. Thanks to our guests today, Jay Bilis and Dave Simms. Thanks as well to today's sponsors. Remember, you can listen to us on Apple podcasts Spotify and Odyssey if you listen to the show through Apple. Please leave us a review.

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

So an update. This week we have what is known as the Planetary Parade. A rare sight will be the last time seven planets can be seen simultaneously until 2014. The best chance will be 2014, 2040.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I won't be here Tuesday, Wednesday out.

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

We'll still have the toothpaste. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday for the planets. Mercury, Venus, Jupiter. Mars will be visible to the naked eye. Saturn, harder to see because it'll be low in the horizon. Just depends on where Nigel sets the horizon line. And you'll need a telescope, as always, to spot the other two, Uranus and Neptune.

[Tony Kornheiser]

So Pluto's out.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

Yeah, Pluto.

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

Pluto's out.

[Tony Kornheiser]

When did that happen?

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

I missed it maybe six, seven years ago.

[Tony Kornheiser]

So I missed it, but then I.

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

Thought it came back temporarily.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

Yeah, I think it depends on which poll. The UPI has him in, but the AP has him out.

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

Okay.

[Tony Kornheiser]

All right, first four from Chris Martin. Dear Mr. Tony and listeners, as an emailer of a good but perhaps factually challenged email, I'm writing to offer humble apologies. Certainly some of the two for one Haagen Dazs story was fabricated. I offer only the Sorry, excuse that your legendary love of ice cream and equally legendary love of sales made the tall tale completely believable. Who among us hasn't wanted to buy 30 pints of ice cream? All of us. I haven't wanted to. Who among us would have had the passion and chutzpah to actually do it? We don't have that, Mr. Tony. That's who. Clearly my email followed more of a creative writer's ethos. Never let the the facts get in the way of a good stories factual report. I feel like I just flushed a million dollar research mouse. And I'm sorry may you keep hustling down those ice cream aisles and sailing through the checkout lines for years to come. That's very, very kind. And another one from Chris Just spoke with my source and he admits it. It may have been just five pints at the original checkout before a six pint was gathered up for purposes of the sale. The record is thus corrected. Change of subject. I also asked the source what makes a mouse worth over a million dollars? It's a mouse that's been genetically modified to have a humanized immune system. Information.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

Oh wow.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Wow. That's a wow.

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

Lot of debate about shuffle versus Saunter.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I didn't shuffle.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

Yeah, did not shuffle.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I might have done the icky shuffle, but I didn't shuffle. From Shad. Why allow the truth to get in the way of a pretty good story? Yeah. Peter Ginn or Gwin in Littleton, Colorado was Wade Boggs in line as well, stocking up for another flight? These are 40 beers. Something like 40 beers. Mike O'Brien in Boston, formerly Revere, Chuck and Roxy, number 303. Is this the new game making up Mr. Tony stories? Because one time I was walking when I heard and saw this bald orange man yell, I could buy this place and leave it empty. And a park ranger replied, sir, this is the Grand Canyon. Eric Robbins, Silver Spring, Maryland the Thayer Avenue Safeway in downtown Silver Spring has Haagen dazs on sale. $7 for two pints. It looks like there's already been a run on it, so I'm not sure you can get your requisite 30 pints, but maybe close. Also, you want to get there from the east side as traffic on Georgia Avenue is closed until December 2025 due to purple Line construction. The dreaded Purple Line. Just take East west highway to Fenton street and then north to Thayer. And please tell Kevin Kirby to eat it. From Justin Monta, 40 in Ambler, Pennsylvania. I started to draft an email referencing the dichotomy of you claiming to to be unburdened by memory but also sure you didn't buy 30 pints of ice cream.

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

You'd remember 30 pints.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I remember that. However, I decided to just go back to work. Then you started the email segment by saying, have I ever bought an excess of anything? Reminds me of how many pairs of bare shoes you own as compared to your number of feet. Yes, and I would buy them, but I would not buy 20 pair. I would go to the store every few months and buy another pair.

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

You have the air and the spare.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yes, you have to. Thank you. You have to Jim Herman Nutley, New Jersey via Erie, Pennsylvania as an Erie, Pennsylvania native growing up, I'm starting to draw some concern about your constant dismissal of the western New York border that leads to the beautiful city of Erie, Pennsylvania. Anyway, Andy Beyer born in Erie, Penn as well. Sharon Stone from that area and Oneida's.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

From there as well.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah. Golden Snow Globe Award currently has Erie, Pennsylvania in solid first place for snowfall to all those central and upstate New York City's to eat it. Snowfall numbers reference below. Erie, Pennsylvania at this time 109.26 inches. 6.1 inches ahead of Syracuse at 103.1 Grand Rapids, Michigan 5th 62.1 Gary Bailey, 76 Gross Isle, Michigan Snow in New York State really go to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan about 4 hours north of Chicago per wilbon and about 12 hours from Detroit. Record snowball in Houghton County. I hope I pronounced that right. 35055 inches this year over 250 snow is so deep. College students at Michigan Tech do not use the front door, but use the upstairs windows to get out. It has been a pleasure listening to someone older than me that's more than.

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

An inch a day.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Eileen's crazy and it doesn't happen in six months.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

No.

[Tony Kornheiser]

So it's only a six month deal. Eileen Robinson in Rochester, Minnesota. You mentioned an email from Thomas Bogart from Scapoose. Okay, the e is silent. Scapoose, Oregon and mentioned that he was on Chuck and roxy episode number 362. The man related to me by marriage lived in Scapoose for 35 years before moving to Rochester, Minnesota. He went to Scapoose High School before graduating from Portland State University. Scapoose means gravelly plain in Native American language. This episode brought back memories of the Pacific Northwest. Thank you for connecting all of the littles in the world. Even if I am a part owner of a subaru from Bruce Couch in Martinsburg, West Virginia. Finally, after decades of listening, watching, laughing and fetching, my David Aldrich moment has arrived. My excitement rivals Michaels when pointing out your expertise hitting out of the sand on your February 19th pod. You mentioned pizza pipes and pandemonium in Groton, Connecticut. Groton, Groton, yes. I did a double take and I said, I know that place. The woman to whom I'm related by marriage of 42 years and I were stationed at Sub Base Groton, Connecticut from 1985 to 1988. And yes, we remember PPNP so vividly we still talk about it often. Our first child, a masculine child, was just a toddler as I was stationed on my first fast attack submarine, the USS Dace. Number 607 PPNP was a favorite spot for the three of us because it was reasonably priced and provided so much entertainment that all three of us thoroughly enjoyed. The pipe organ at the place was a molar. Organ molar at the time was manufactured in Hagerstown, Maryland where we both grew up. And of special note, my wife's father spent over 35 years working at said pipe organ manufacturing plant in Hagerstown. He had a sixth grade education and his job was to polish the pipes by hand before they were ready for shipping and assembly on site where delivery was made. He was the hardest working man I've ever known and was proud of his job. Every time we heard that organ play at PP&P, it made us think of him and the possibility that his hands had polished those pipes making all that beautiful music. I left the Navy after six years and built a career on selling tires. Yeah, I'm one of those sales weasels that you talk about so affectionately at the end of some pots. Could I be the official nuclear trained submariner of the Tony Kornheiser Show? And lastly, please tell my son Matthew yes, one T because dad couldn't spell it when filling out his birth certificate to eat it. He is a rabid, rabid listener as I am. Isn't that a lovely email?

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

That's great.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Okay, saw Denny on the 15th tee of Bear Trap on Wednesday. Told him I'm sending you his picture. He says, hello, it's been a while. DG. It's so fabulous. So I mentioned DG on PTI yesterday. I said DG, DG reported there was no win when the kid hit 59 overseas. And he says it's so thrilling. Thank you. And I said you were doing the reporting stop from Bob K. When the Yankees went to spring training game on Tuesday. Dominic Smith started In left field, Dom Smith hit a home run with a man on base put the Yankees in the lead. That's it. That's the news. I didn't ask Dave about Dom Smith. Can't bring myself.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

No, not yet.

[Tony Kornheiser]

From Matt Geschwund or Geshwind, Indian Wells, California say think Chessy has vomit problems? The owner of Luna, a seven month old Burmese mountain dog in Corona, California took the puppy to the vet because he was vomiting and had a distended stomach. X rays showed foreign objects in his stomach and surgery was required. In his stomach, the vet found 44 foreign objects, 24 socks, 15 miscellaneous cloth pieces, two hair ties, one shoe insert, one hair crunchy and one onesie. I've attached the article about pictures of the object. Luna made a full recovery and hopefully won't chow down on such things in the future. However, your experiences with Jesse makes me think that dogs, like some people, are sometimes slow learners.

[Wilbon (Michael Wilbon)]

I'd like to know the order of operations. Did you start with the socks?

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah, just a look for the onesie.

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

44 items.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Yeah. Jeff Barger, Hillsborough, North Carolina since you have shown an interest in Finnish words, you should learn the word sisu. Sisu means showing tenacity in the face of adversity. As in Mr. Tony displayed Sisu when faced with an online payment. Only World Dylan Thomas would be proud. You're out on your bike. Tight. Everyone, as always, to wear white. Wait, where are you going?

[Unknown (Guest or Co-host)]

I was going to make espresso.

[Unknown (Musical Guest)]

I think we've got a bad connection. Please accept my call. I can barely hear you now. Are you there at all? I'm shouting down my hand you're shouting back to me the way of so high, higher and I'm drifting out to sea and I wish that I could hear it I wish that I could sleep and I wish that I was moving but I sick a little too deep and I wish that I could still but it soon is on a haze I took a chance and I crashed and I'm gone for days.

[Tony Kornheiser]

I.

[Unknown (Musical Guest)]

Think of a bad connection Please take my call can you even hear me now? Are you there at all? Should they show world face to face over land Se I'll be coming home tomorrow Will you wait for me? And I wish that I could hear it I wish that I could sleep and I wish that I was near But I think I too deep and I wish that I could see you but as soon as I fell and I've been out for you Take my call I'll be coming home tomorrow. Will you be there at all and I hope that I will hear you. I hope that I will sleep and I hope that I. I hope I'm not even deep and I hope that I see in there that you there for me. Cuz the waves are higher and higher. I'm drifting out.

[Dan Byrne]

They're gonna try out robot umpires next.

[Tony Kornheiser]

Let's do.

[Dan Byrne]

That's what they're saying, that's what I hear. Robots calling balls and strikes, that's the stuff. Robot umpires is fine, but it don't go far enough. They oughta have robot players on the field. Robots pitching, robots hitting, that's the real deal. Robot line drives a robot can of corn. Robot double play combo, robot round the horn. And while they're at it they oughta have robot fans. Robots eating hot dogs, drinking beer from cans. Robots sing the national anthem, prayerful and solemn. Robots in the press box banging out a robot column. Robots everywhere.