The Tony Kornheiser Show – “Were you in the Gazebo?”

September 10, 2025

Episode Overview

In this lively, meandering episode, Tony Kornheiser and his familiar crew (Michael Wilbon, Chris, Chuck Todd, Buster Olney, and Reginald the Monkey) cover an eclectic mix of topics, beginning with playful banter about new contracts and Hallmark movie cameos, followed by passionate sports discussion—focused on the barren Miami Marlins stadium, the late-season surge of the Washington Nationals, and the state of baseball. The episode features signature segments: Chuck Todd’s and Reginald the Monkey’s NFL picks, Buster Olney on baseball (and gardening!), and mailbag commentary, all wrapped in Tony’s signature blend of crankiness, nostalgia, and wit.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Banter – Contracts, Hallmark Movies, and Luke Russert

• Tony’s ESPN Contract: Tony briefly acknowledges his new deal with ESPN/PTI, joking about his age and “looking like a Muppet.”

  "I responded to each one saying, do you know how old I am? And I look like a Muppet."
  (02:30)

• Luke Russert’s Hallmark Movie Cameo: Luke has a cameo in an upcoming Hallmark “Christmas” movie about the Buffalo Bills ("Holiday Touchdown: A Bills Love Story"). The crew riffs about the ubiquity of Hallmark holiday films.

  “I just assume every movie Hallmark makes is Christmas...” (02:45)

• Gazebo Gag: Tony teases Luke by asking, “Are you in the gazebo?”—a nod to Hallmark tropes. (04:02)

2. Washington Nationals and MLB Chatter

• Nationals’ September “Revival”: The Nats are winning frequently but with little consequence, as Tony deflates late-season optimism.

  "Everyone rejoices about what's going on now. What does it mean? They're out of it. They've been out of it for months."
  (04:35–05:27)

• Empty Miami Stadium: Tony and crew express amazement at the empty Marlins stadium, setting up a running theme.

  "There was nobody there. There couldn't have been 5,000 people."
  (05:28)

3. Buster Olney’s Harvest & Gardening Humor

• A running joke develops around Buster Olney’s gardening exploits—photographs of tomatoes, carrots, canning, and the fate of Tony’s potatoes.

  "I fear for the potatoes. I'll get to that." (06:45)

• Lighthearted, folksy banter about canning and pickling, paralleling autumn themes.

4. Buffalo Wild Wings (and Food) Tangents

• Tony disparages their commercials and muses on chicken wing authenticity.

  "I don't like their commercials with a big buffalo and he screams." (07:39)

• Debate about whether boneless chicken tenders “count” as wings.

  "A chicken wing by definition would seem to me to have to have a bone." (08:10)

5. Billy Joel Documentary Review

• Tony raves about the honesty of the new Billy Joel doc, especially interpersonal details and the surprise of Christie Brinkley’s age.

  "It's the most honest documentary I've ever seen in my life ... none of the women involved have rancor."
  (08:56–12:12) "Christie Brinkley is 71 ... It's unbelievable." (12:10)

6. NFL Quarterback Carousel (and PTI Preview)

• Deep dive into rookie QB J.J. McCarthy's heroics, the surprise and promise for the Vikings, and context for historic rookie comebacks.

  "If he's okay the rest of the year, he's going to be Rookie of the Year. Based on that game." (15:02)

• Reflection on NFL QB moves: Daniel Jones, Sam Darnold, Justin Fields, Russell Wilson.

7. Chuck Todd’s NFL Picks & Miami Baseball Rant

[Chuck Todd Segment: 20:30–33:45]

Miami Marlins Attendance Crisis (20:30–24:33)

• Chuck, a Miami native, rails against the stadium’s poor location, history of bad management, and MLB’s handling of Florida franchises.

  “You got to have [ballparks] in a part of your city life… Miami Heat play on the water downtown. That’s where this stadium should be.” (22:27)

  “You got to put it where people want to hang out.” (24:11)

  • Notably, the Marlins have won two World Series titles despite misery at the gate and with ownership.

NFL Picks (Game Lines and Analysis)

1. Washington at Green Bay (Thu Night) [Packers -3.5]

   “If I didn’t. It wasn’t a Thursday night, I’d be tempted to take the Commanders, but ... I’ll take the Packers.” (25:10)

2. NY Giants at Dallas [Cowboys -5.5]

   “Give me the Cowboys all day.” (26:32) (Brian Daboll slander: “He’s no good. He’s no good.” (26:40))

3. Bears at Detroit [Lions -5.5]

   “Give me the Bears.” (28:14)

4. Bills at Jets [Bills -6.5]

   “That’s a lot of points. I’ll give you the Jets and 6.5.” (29:21)

5. Denver at Indy [Broncos -1.5]

   “I don’t believe the Colts ... just gonna bet against the Colts.” (30:16)

6. Philadelphia at Kansas City [Eagles -1.5]

   “How often do you get Mahomes and points? ... I’ll take Mahomes and points.” (31:17)

7. Chargers at Las Vegas [Chargers -3.5]

   “I like the Chargers ... this is the reason you hire Jim Harbaugh, because he’s good with quarterbacks.” (32:49, 33:04)

8. Reginald the Monkey’s NFL Picks (Comic Relief)

• Delivered by Michael Wilbon with zany backstories and “celebrity” adventures (AJ Foyt, Bill Nye, etc.).
• Picks: Washington, Detroit, and Philadelphia—opposite Chuck Todd on all three.
• References to Evel Knievel and 1970s sportsfolk.

  “He was joined by his team, Bill Nye the Science Guy, AJ Foyt ... and Dexter Manley.” (34:49)

9. Buster Olney Segment – MLB and Gardening Deep Dive

[Buster Segment: 39:04–51:58]

• Gardening Anecdotes: Buster’s partner leaves for China during the harvest; Tony’s comically gigantic squash; concerns about potatoes.

  “It's like Christmas Day. You don't know what you're gonna get under the tree, and that's what's gonna happen…” (41:00)

MLB Topics:

• Empty Miami Stadium Redux: Buster agrees: terrible location, traffic jams, and apathy if the team is mediocre.

  “There's no question that the location of the stadium is a real problem…” (42:09) “[Miami is the] place where if the team's not good, people probably aren't going to come because there's better stuff to do in the sunshine.” (42:56)

• Dodgers’ “Boredom” and Postseason DNA: Dodgers sometimes seem to coast (“get bored”), but “postseason DNA will kick in.”

  “A week ago…all their fans were losing their minds with a panic worthy of Yankee fans…I think what happened with that team was they get bored.” (43:38)

• Mets/Yankees Playoff Hopes: Yankees are safe; Mets might miss playoffs due to pitching woes.

• Tigers’ Tarik Skubal Praised:

  “We’re looking at an all-time great pitcher … he really does play like an 11- or 12-year-old in terms of the fun that he has.” (46:31)

• Hitting Crisis – Only One NL Hitter over .300: Grappling with high-velocity relievers and short starts.

  “There's only one guy in the National League hitting over .300 ... The pitching is getting so much better with all these relievers..." (47:51) “1968 ... Yaz was the only player to hit .301.” (48:31)

  • Tony and Buster suggest MLB may eventually need rules to limit number of relievers to rebalance offense.

10. Mailbag Highlights & Memorable Moments

• Listener Letters: Stories about ticket scams, the “under” toilet paper hack, Sandy Koufax family tales, the joys and tribulations of gardening (especially potatoes and pumpkins), caddies at fancy courses, and Ken Dryden reminiscences.

  • Example:

    “My wife has taken it to a new level. Because of our overuse of TikTok, she has fallen in love with Highland cows. She keeps trying to talk me into purchasing a Highland cow, which will never happen...” (~59:05)

• Notable Quotes & Callbacks:

  • “Everyone in the family has reminded her that 'moo cows' is redundant. But we all now call them moo cows." (~59:05)

• Bagel Joy: Tony relishes the warmth of fresh Bethesda Bagels, bemoans the too-warm studio, and name-checks Beach Boys, Jerry Jeff Walker, and Biff the Jingle Singer.

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• “I look like a Muppet.” — Tony, on re-signing with ESPN (02:30)
• "There was nobody there. There couldn't have been 5,000 people." — Tony, on Marlins attendance (05:28)
• "You got to have [stadiums] in a part of your city life." — Chuck Todd (22:27)
• "If he's okay the rest of the year, he's going to be Rookie of the Year. Based on that game." — Tony, on J.J. McCarthy (15:02)
• "How often do you get Mahomes and points?" — Chuck Todd (31:17)
• "A week ago…all [Dodgers] fans were losing their minds with a panic worthy of Yankee fans…I think what happened … they get bored." — Buster Olney (43:38)
• “We’re looking at an all-time great pitcher…” — Buster Olney on Tarik Skubal (46:31)
• "There's only one guy in the National League hitting over .300 ..." — Tony (47:51)

Segment Timestamps

• Opening banter & contracts – 01:15–04:26
• Baseball & gardening talk – 04:26–07:03
• Billy Joel documentary review – 08:27–12:12
• NFL QBs/rookies chat – 14:00–16:28
• Chuck Todd’s NFL picks & Miami baseball rant – 20:30–33:45
• Reginald the Monkey’s picks – 34:08–36:36
• Buster Olney segment – 39:04–51:58
• Mailbag – 53:07–65:19

Tone & Style

The show maintains its signature blend of curmudgeonly humor, sports nerdery, and “old friends talking” warmth. Tony’s perspective oscillates between nostalgic crankiness and playful, self-deprecating insight. Interactions are unscripted, filled with inside jokes and affectionate ribbing.

Memorable Moments

• “Are you in the gazebo?” — Tony’s running Hallmark movie joke.
• Luke Russert in a Hallmark movie cameo.
• Gardening as sporting event: Tony’s anxiety about his potato harvest.
• Billy Joel doc: “The most honest documentary I’ve ever seen.”
• Chuck Todd’s passionate rant on Miami’s doomed baseball stadium.
• Reginald the Monkey’s Evel Knievel Snake River Canyon reference.
• Extended mailbag segment—listeners’ letters are as quirky as the show itself.

For Listeners Who Missed the Show

This episode delivers everything regular listeners expect: Tony’s world-weary takes, sports wisdom, food snark, irreverent NFL picks, and affectionate nonsense. The sports talk, while covering current events, is always secondary to the chemistry and banter among old friends. If you enjoy baseball, football, gardening mishaps, or just listening to smart, funny people riff, this episode offers plenty to savor.