Episode Overview

Episode Title: "Is My Marriage Worth Fighting For?" - Tony & Sage Robbins FULL Relationship Intervention
Podcast: The Tony Robbins Podcast
Date: November 20, 2025
Host: Tony Robbins
Special Guest Intervener: Sage Robbins
Featured Participant: Laura from Miami

This episode is an immersive, real-world relationship intervention in which Tony and Sage Robbins coach Laura, a listener at a crossroads in her marriage. Through deep questioning, practical frameworks, and heartfelt dialogue, Tony and Sage guide Laura—and listeners—through the core issues around love, connection, unmet needs, and how to decide whether a marriage is truly worth fighting for.
The conversation centers on applying Tony’s Six Human Needs framework and actionable steps to reignite dormant relationships before making final decisions.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Laura’s Situation & Emotional Struggle

• Background:

  • Laura has been with her husband Peter for 18 years (married for 6), but they have “grown very apart” over the last few years.
  • She feels torn between the fear of losing a good man and the fear of losing herself.
  • She seeks clarity on whether to stay or leave, and how to build fulfillment and independence.
    • (00:47) Sage: “You said something that really stood out... I don't want to lose a great man. And, you know, as we are in relationship and in love, there's different stages and they have different qualities and different challenges.”

• Current State:

  • Laura is not "in love" anymore—“I don't feel that passion on either side because I feel like I have tried.” (01:55)
  • Over time, Laura has felt increasingly lonely and rejected by Peter’s lack of presence/intimacy.
  • She fears acting out of pain or fear of change.

2. Practical Interventions & Techniques

• Sage’s “Art of a Request”:

  • Sage encourages Laura to speak directly, heartfully, and without blame to her husband about her needs. (03:33)
  • Role-play: Laura expresses to “Peter” her longing for quality time and her pain over feeling alone and rejected.
    • (03:50) Laura: “Pete, I would like you to know that I feel very lonely all the time... Please don't push me away because I feel rejected.”
  • Sage models a loving, non-defensive partner response and how to ask for what one truly needs.

• Nurturing the Container of the Relationship:

  • Sage recommends a 90-day period of intentional effort, to see what’s possible with full energetic presence and loving action before making an irreversible decision.
  • Date nights and small rituals are highlighted as ways to restore intimacy and playful spontaneity.

3. Tony Robbins’ Six Human Needs Model Applied

• Explanation:
  Tony walks Laura through the Six Human Needs—Certainty, Variety, Significance, Love/Connection, Growth, and Contribution—and demonstrates how unmet needs create disconnect.

  • Certainty
  • Variety (uncertainty/adventure)
  • Significance
  • Love/Connection
  • Growth
  • Contribution

• Insightful Quotes:

  • “Needs are not just desires. These are deeper than desires. People will give up their own values to meet their needs.” (00:17, 06:19)
  • “If you’re totally certain every moment of your life, you’d be bored out of your mind. That’s why we also need uncertainty, variety.” (07:16)
  • “In any relationship, if your partner starts feeling other things are more important than them... we all want to feel significant, especially to the one we love most.” (08:20)
  • “When you don’t put yourself on the line for love, you’re not going to experience it. That’s why it takes courage.” (09:15)
  • “Expectations are what kill relationships.” (13:05)

• Application:
  Tony asks Laura to honestly rate her experience (and Peter’s possible experience) of each need, surfacing pain points around variety, significance, love/connection, and growth, while both feel certainty the other cares.

  • E.g., Variety: 0 (“That's where the pain is.” – Tony, 10:40)
  • E.g., Connection/Love: 2
  • E.g., Growth: 2

4. The 60/90-Day Relationship Challenge

• Deep Dive Instruction:

  • Tony invites Laura to commit to 60 (ideally 90) days of proactively loving her husband the way he needs to be loved—NOT her way.
  • Focus solely on Peter’s key need for significance (recognition for his hard work), along with injecting surprise/variety and appreciating him genuinely.
  • The principle: When one partner truly goes first and fills the other’s core need, even couples on the brink can transform.
    • Quote: “I'm going to pour love into him… If you do that 60 days and he doesn't respond... at least you know you did everything.” (14:38–15:50)
  • Tony and Sage’s personal rule: “We both try to fight first, to be the one to apologize and then to make it better, we don't wait for the other person to do it. That’s what leadership is. That’s what love is. Right? We go first.” (15:16)

• Outcome:

  • Laura commits to the challenge, expressing gratitude and hope, while the audience applauds her bravery.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• (01:55) Laura: “I think I love him, but I am not currently in love. I don't feel that passion on either side because I feel like I have tried.”
• (03:50) Laura (role-playing Peter): “Pete, I would like you to know that I feel very lonely all the time… please don't push me away because I feel rejected.”
• (09:15) Tony: “When you don’t put yourself on the line for love, you’re not going to experience it. That’s why it takes courage.”
• (10:40) Tony: “Now you've got only one that's really strong, which is certainty, which is why you've stayed, because you still value certainty. But certainty also makes things predictable and therefore not alive.”
• (13:05) Tony: “Expectations are what kill relationship. We expect our partner to respond the way we want, but we forget that we're not either.”
• (15:16) Tony: “We both try to fight first, to be the one to apologize and then to make it better, we don't wait for the other person to do it. That's what leadership is. That's what love is. Right? We go first.”
• (15:53) Laura: “Yes. Thank you.”—committing to the challenge.

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:47 – Laura introduces her question and marital struggle
• 01:55 – Laura shares she's not currently in love
• 03:33–04:39 – Sage guides Laura in the “art of a request” (role-play with Peter)
• 06:19–10:27 – Tony introduces and explains the Six Human Needs
• 10:27–11:10 – Laura rates her experience of each need in her marriage
• 13:05–14:33 – Tony guides Laura in seeing her marriage through Peter’s eyes
• 14:33–15:53 – The 60/90-day “go first” relationship challenge

Final Takeaways

• Relationships drift not because of absence of love, but because of unmet fundamental needs, defensiveness, and a lack of intentional effort on both sides.
• Tony and Sage model the importance of vulnerability, honest self-reflection, and practical loving action.
• Change begins when even one partner “goes first”—meeting the other’s core needs unselfishly—before making final relationship decisions.
• The power of “loving leadership”—leading with presence, apology, and action—can reignite even long-stale relationships.

This episode is a masterclass in relationship repair and the courage to love proactively before calling it quits.