The Tony Robbins Podcast
Episode: Part 2: How To Forgive & Let Go of Your Past with Sage Robbins & Mary B
Date: September 12, 2024
Host: Tony Robbins
Guests: Sage Robbins (& references to Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len and others)

Overview

In this episode, Tony Robbins and his wife Sage Robbins explore the transformative topic of forgiveness, focusing on the ancient Hawaiian practice of Ho'oponopono. The dialogue centers on how this deceptively simple ritual can shift one's inner state, foster healing, and serve as a practical tool for letting go of past hurts, guilt, and shame. Through personal anecdotes, reflections, and a heartfelt musical example, Tony and Sage demystify forgiveness and invite listeners to experiment with these principles in daily life, for oneself and for others.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

Introduction and Context: The Power of Ho'oponopono

[00:34-02:32]

• Tony introduces Ho'oponopono as the most transformational practice he's encountered.
• Basic explanation: Ho'oponopono—a Hawaiian ritual meaning "to make right"—relies on four phrases: I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.
• This practice, Tony notes, is universally relevant: "It proceeds from an understanding of the unity of everything in the world... nothing can happen in our world without creating a resonance in the observer." (Tony Robbins, 01:18)

The Practice in Everyday Life

[02:34-05:00]

• Sage explains the tool's versatility:

  • Used personally and within the family, including as a bedtime song for their child.
  • Not always tied to a specific incident; rather, it's about clearing energy and bound emotions.
  • Can be directed toward individuals, groups, countries, or even oneself.

  “The statements aren’t personal. It’s a clearing of space. ... You can say it for a country, you can say it for your child.”
  (Sage Robbins, 02:52)

• Dr. Hew Len’s miraculous results: Sage recounts the now-famous story of Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len, who used Ho'oponopono to heal inmates in a Hawaiian institution by working only with their files, not direct interaction.

Clearing Energy and Resonance

[05:00-08:04]

• Tony notes the broader impact:

  • The power of offering the four phrases, even in situations of global suffering seen on the news.
  • The resonance shifts more than just interpersonal relationships; it affects the energetic field of larger communities.

  “If I don’t do anything, what does that say about me? It’s like, this is something that actually you can do.”
  (Tony Robbins, 07:09)

Daily Family Practice & Song

[08:04-08:53]

• Sage and Tony sing their bedtime version of Ho’oponopono:

  “I’m so sorry, I love you. Please forgive me and thank you.”
  (Tony & Sage Robbins, 08:31)

• Their daughter sings it herself, showing its accessibility for even young children.

Forgiveness as a Mental Health Tool

[09:06-10:01]

• Sage emphasizes: This is a practical, accessible mental health tool—a way of gently returning to center, neutralizing confusion or emotional pain, and creating possibilities for realignment.

  “These are ways of neutralizing some of the confusion. Or you could look at it as a way of coming back into alignment, a way of coming home.” (Sage Robbins, 09:10)

Dealing With Guilt, Shame, and “Human Darkness”

[10:01-12:36]

• Tony candidly shares his own experience with guilt, shame, anxiety, and depression, underscoring how the four phrases provide relief even when the person hurt is no longer in your life.

  "If I can’t reach this person right now, I can sit here and get present, offer: like, I'm so, so—I see what I just did there. I really never want to do that again. And please forgive me and know that I love you so much...”
  (Tony Robbins, 11:22)

• *Sage calls this a “journey home”—back to heart and love, which have "vaster intelligence than intellect alone.”

Six Steps to Ho’oponopono

[13:06-14:05]

• Tony shares six less-known steps from a book on Ho’oponopono:

  1. Join with the original source (Akua/Spirit/God/Universe)
  2. Contemplate and accept the problem
  3. Take 100% responsibility for the challenge
  4. Be ready, after forgiveness, to change your approach
  5. Mutually pardon and forgive
  6. Give thanks and offer a closing prayer

  "Taking 100% responsibility for the existence of that challenge in your life."
  (Tony Robbins, 13:36)

Forgiving Oneself and Self-Compassion

[14:20-16:34]

• Tony and Sage discuss forgiving one’s past self—with compassion, understanding, and the knowledge that unconscious actions lead to the evolution of conscience.

  “I can look back... and I have compassion for her, I have love for her, and I see myself and it’s like, gosh, I would choose differently today.”
  (Sage Robbins, 15:21)

  “It was the unconscious that created the conscience… we fall asleep so that we have the power to wake up.”
  (Sage Robbins, 15:38)

• Pain as a catalyst: Both note that pain and even humiliation can propel growth and awaken humility.

Why We Don’t Forgive: A Reflective List

[17:00-19:33]

• Sage shares personal reflections on barriers to forgiveness, including:

  • Blaming others for our misery
  • Demonizing others
  • Unrealistic expectations
  • Addiction to the pain or story of the past
  • Repeating the same stories
  • Valuing ‘being right’ over connection
  • Believing others are unworthy of forgiveness
  • Numbing or distracting oneself from suffering

  “Ironically, there’s something so powerful in admission of, you know, hey, I wasn’t my best self in that moment and I’m sorry. It’s humbling.”
  (Sage Robbins, 19:17)

• Humiliation as a path to humility and relinquishing the ego

  “Humiliation is a path to humbleness.”
  (Sage Robbins, 19:32)

Letting Go When You Can’t Reach the Person

[19:33-22:08]

• Sage’s guidance when forgiveness isn’t possible in person:

  • Visualizing the person in light and saying:

    “The spirit in me connects to the spirit in you. I release you. I forgive you. I bless you. Thank you.”
    (Sage Robbins, 19:50)

  • Sit for a few minutes, offering the matter to “the source that beats our hearts.”

  • Miracles arise from humility and willingness.

    “When we don’t know what to do in our own human mind, remember that the power of our heart... miracles happen in that space.”
    (Sage Robbins, 20:44)

• Tony shares an alternate language for release:

  “I release you to your greatest good.”
  (Tony Robbins, 21:37)

• Sage appreciates the different energetic resonance of this wording, noting its lightness and spaciousness.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "It is a way to come back, to see center, to come back to zero point. It clears what I call bound energy, but... it’s ...not even specific. That’s the power of it."
  (Sage Robbins, 02:50)

• "The resonance and vibrations and the energy we put out—if you’re listening this far, you’re one of us."
  (Tony Robbins, 05:37)

• "Our heart has a vaster understanding or capacity. And so it’s really tapping into that."
  (Sage Robbins, 12:43)

• "It was the unconscious that created the conscience... we fall asleep so that we have the power to wake up."
  (Sage Robbins, 15:38)

• "When we don’t know what to do in our own human mind, remember that the power of our heart... miracles happen in that space."
  (Sage Robbins, 20:44)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [00:34] — Tony introduces Ho’oponopono
• [01:18] — Explanation of the four phrases and their meaning
• [02:34] — Sage explains how the practice works in daily life
• [05:00] — Dr. Hew Len’s story and explanation of “clearing resonance”
• [08:04] — Tony & Sage sing their family Ho’oponopono song
• [10:01] — Tony on healing guilt and human darkness
• [13:06] — Tony shares the six steps to Ho’oponopono success
• [15:21] — Forgiving your past self and compassion for personal growth
• [17:00] — Sage’s reflective list: "Why don’t we forgive?"
• [19:33] — How to forgive when you can’t reach the person; visualizations
• [21:37] — “I release you to your greatest good” quote and its significance

Tone & Takeaways

The conversation flows with compassion, vulnerability, and a welcoming spirit. Tony and Sage encourage self-exploration, not dogma: “These are just things that you can simply experience and try it on; if it serves, beautiful. If it doesn’t, that’s okay too.” (Sage Robbins, 09:35)

The episode ultimately leaves listeners with a practical, profound perspective on forgiveness—not as a lofty ideal, but as a daily “coming home” to oneself and the possibility of love, healing, and evolution.