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The Treatment Room
168. Process over perfection: summer, structure + staying accountable on vacation.
00:29:10
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Foreign welcome back to the Treatment Room Podcast everybody. I'm your host, Tessa Zolli. I am a licensed esthetician, acne specialist and certified nutrition coach. The topic of today's solo episode is process over perfection, structure, summer and staying committed to your skin goals. That said, I think this episode could really apply to different parts of your skin journey when you need a little accountability, a little motivation, reset and at the end of the day I am here to be very real with you about what a skin clearing journey actually takes. I think you're going to get to know me more as a coach in this episode. If you just look at my social media, you just hear my voice or see a picture or video of me, I probably appear very just bubbly and I'd say sweet is my overall demeanor. Like very sweet and chill. But if you are my client, you may also see another side of me that I think has strengthened me as a person and just has made me more well rounded. I am not afraid to offer tough love when it is needed and generally it does come from a place of love. I love, care for and genuinely feel very responsible for anyone who signs up for my skin coaching program. I am not a coach that just wants to take your money, give you a little template and wish you the best. Like there are times I will push you in this process and it is because I care about your future self and I want them to be their happiest, most fulfilled, most confident self. I know that skin issues like acne can bleed into very important areas of your life from how you feel about yourself, your confidence, your relationship with yourself, seeing yourself in the mirror in the morning. If you don't like what you see, what kind of day are you going to have from there? How are your relationships going to be? How are you going to do at work? Are you going to pursue that hobby that you've been thinking about that involves getting in front of people or talking on camera? No. People can become very isolated. Their confidence can deteriorate, and they can be their worst self in interpersonal relationships. I'm so aware of how this condition affects people that, yeah, I'm going to push you past uncomfortable scenarios and try to help you navigate them as best as possible while keeping your goals in mind. I think in today's day and age, we can be a little bit delulu because we see social media, we see celebrities, and we just assume everyone has this thing that for some reason you just don't have and it should be easy. And that's not the reality. The reality is most people do struggle with acne at some point. They do have skin issues. And even people who have the highest level of access to the best resources can still struggle with their skin. Because this is such a multifactorial and nuanced condition. There's a lot to it. And my business serves a very specific goal. I help people clear their skin without the need for medications like antibiotics, Accutane, spironolactone, without lasers, facials, painful extractions, regular visits to the dermatologist or esthetician for facials. I'm not, I'm not saying those are negative things, but I wanted to offer a different service for the person who either hasn't had success doing that and they're so tired of it, or the person who, who wants an approach that can be with them in their everyday life. They don't have to take extra time out of their day to constantly manage their skin. It's more embedded in their daily life, the routine they are doing every single day, twice a day. So to achieve that goal without taking those prescriptions, without needing to go in for facials every four to six weeks, it does require some adjustments. And I want to talk you through how we can still stay on track as the weather warms up as we approach spring and summer. So if you've been wondering how to stay committed to your acne goals, especially during the chaos of summer, this episode is for you. So summer pool parties, weddings, travel, late nights, unpredictable food, more social events than usual. This season tends to be the one where structure goes out the window. It's also the time where we have more heat on our skin, more sweating, more oil production, more bacteria. Do any of These things give you a helping hand in clearing your skin. No, they can actually pose an extra challenge. So here is the truth. There is no love without truth. Your skin doesn't take a vacation just because you do. So today, I am challenging you to dig a little bit deeper and ask yourself, what would it look like to structure my life in a way that supports my skin goals, not sabotages them? There is no perfect world where you have balance, whatever that means. I'm pretty over that phrase where you have balance, zero stress, travel freedom, and no breakouts. I wish that existed. It's not our reality. Big goals do require structure, consistency, and, yes, size. Some sacrifices. I want to share a recent client challenge I had and what I would do in that specific scenario, and just some more general advice for all the different scenarios that may pop up where you're not totally in control of your environment. So I recently had a client. She's a great girl. I adore her. She has. Has been thriving in the program, especially in the first half. She's not somebody I worry about. You know, is she able to follow a plan? Is she doing her routine? Is she able to grocery shop? Is she able to. To meal prep and. And stay on track? But toward the second half of the program, she has been doing a lot of international travel, going to really cool places like Peru, El Salvador, hiking, and she's seen some regression in her skin. She said, I haven't really been able to stay on plan completely, and now I'm worried because I'm traveling to Germany and I'm staying with my grandmother. She'll be cooking all my meals. She's not one to accept dietary changes. Is it okay if I'm more flexible here and start eating dairy, gluten, refined carbs, and sugars, and eggs again, all foods that we identified as. As triggers for her? I don't want to upset my grandmother, but I want to stay on track. And this is where it's tough as a coach, because your client is essentially saying, I'm not. I'm not able to follow the plan you recommended for me to be successful, but I still want the result that I paid you for. So, as the coach, we do have to, you know, offer a dose of reality that we do have to put in the work to achieve our goals. And navigating these situations that involve family I think can be tricky and stressful for clients, and I don't want that either. As a coach, I don't want them to feel stressed out or feel like they can't be involved in these very special moments. And you know, the reality is, if it's not a, a true deathly allergy, sure you can. You can that. That's option A. You just eat what's given to you and, you know, live your life. That is option A. Option B, I think the best thing to do anytime you're starting a program, signing up for something that involves commitment, really look at the time frame and ask yourself, am I going to be able to fully commit at least 90% of the time to this program? Sure, there's going to be weekend trips and things like that, but you have to factor in, is there a large chunk of time where I'm not going to be able to stay on plan? Because ultimately that's. Your coach can't change that and your coach can't change what ultimately gets in the way of your success. All we can do is give you the tools, the guidelines to do your best in these situations. So here's what I would recommend. If you're already in the situation where you sign up for a program and you are now not able to fully commit again, I think we do have to adjust our expectation a little bit. We have to understand I'm not doing exactly what was recommended, so I can't expect the full result in this situation. What I would try to do is have a private conversation ahead of time with my family. Here's what it comes down to. I think for one, a lot of our older generations, parents or grandparents, they're not familiar with this concept of modifications. They didn't have auto as many autoimmune issues. They didn't see a lot of food allergies growing up. They didn't see as much acne as we're seeing now. So it is kind of foreign to them. And you need to let them know you're doing this for health reasons. It's not about preferences or being a picky eater. You invested in hiring a professional who gave you a protocol and you are doing your best to follow that for your overall health. I also understand the position of hosting people and needing to grocery shop, cook and make tasty meals. It's a lot for the host as well. So when you're adding a layer of oh, but I can't eat, really, most of the meals that you are used to preparing is not always fair to them. So a I would let them know there may be times you can't eat what everyone else is having. And can you offer to go grocery shop yourself? Actually is one of my favorite things to do in New cities is go to grocery stores, see what they have available. And you can always find protein sources, vegetables, complex carbohydrates, no matter what country you are in. So offer to grocery shop and possibly help cook or prepare some of your own meals. Sure, you should get a taste of the cuisine, but maybe it's just a taste and then you do have your own separate prepared meals. Or again, you adjust your expectation. You say, I'm here, I want to enjoy the culture. I know I invested in the acne care program, but I'm also in Germany now, so I'm going to adjust my expectation to understand I may break out from what I eat and it's not going to deter my progress forever. It's a temporary decision I'm making now and I will get on track when I have the means to do so. But I'm going to enjoy a little bit and then just do my best and you know, have meals that I still like, that I prepare for myself when I can. The other thing I think is really bringing your family in on the goal. If your family is offering to, you know, allow you to stay with them, they probably love you, they probably want to support you, but they don't understand why you're doing what you're doing. It's just coming off as an inconvenience. So you need to let them know and this can be a bonding experience. You know how your skin has been impacting you and let them know that you know, you made an investment to ask somebody to help you with this because you haven't been able to figure it out yourself. And it turns out there are some real things like foods that do affect acne. And while it may not be forever, right now you're in a program where you know you really will succeed more if you have the support of those around you. So whether you live with your parents, you're visiting your parents, grandparents, family, this is a common point of contention that I often see. I see it more when there's cultural differences as well. And I think, you know, it is. It can be a bit of a challenge. But explaining that you're not doing this because you want to be difficult or cause extra inconvenience, but you know, it's just a reality. And how can your family help and support you with that goal? Lastly, can you keep your non negotiables like can you enjoy meals but skip the dairy or cheese? Can you avoid eating the refined sugar or the desserts? Can you focus on veggie and protein rich meals and maybe You're a little bit flexible with one or two things that aren't typically recommended for you. Ultimately it just comes down to doing your best and it can require a little bit of extra thinking. But the reality of life is if you accept what is average or just given to you, oftentimes you don't get exactly what you want. So it's not about being rigid, it is about being intentional. And I want to empower you to not feel like you always have to self sacrifice for those around you, especially when you are trying really hard to heal. Sometimes our family needs help understanding the goal and and just let them know how much it would mean to you if you could show up on this trip as your healthiest, clearest self. It would take a big worry off of your plate. So really just bringing people together, as cheesy as it sounds, and letting them in on the common goal that is going to make it so much easier for you to succeed. So that is how I would navigate family pressure. I want to talk a little bit about picking two to three non negotiables. If you're going on a trip, a vacation, whatever it is, what are two to three things about your wellness routine that you can continue while traveling? It is likely that you won't be able to do everything that you do at home. But what can you pick that still helps you feel like you're keeping promises to yourself? For me, a promise I make to myself now is to drink 20 ounces of water before I have my coffee every morning. I can do that at home, I could do that at a hotel, on a trip, wherever. It's a small thing that helps me feel better throughout the day. It's a non negotiable for me to eat high protein meals. I can make the focus of my meal a protein really in whatever situation you put me in. And because I had to eliminate gluten when I was younger, I've really become an expert at finding high protein focus options. Because when you take gluten, you know, off as an option, you really are left with mostly like more protein focused meals. And that is what makes me feel the best and supports my health. So that is something I do every single day no matter where I am. Whatever meal I am making. Maybe your non negotiable is keeping dairy and sugar out of 90% of your meals. Maybe you can make a modification if you're having a salad, even getting a burger, making a burrito bowl, whatever it is. And maybe there's, you know, instances like you are abroad, you are in France, Italy, whatever it is, and there's an incredible cheese board. And it is completely worth it to have it in that moment, maybe, and it should be. You're non negotiable to stick to your skincare routine for the entire duration of your travels. Even when you're tired getting off the plane, even when you have to wake up super early to make your flight in the morning. Doing those things is imperative to keeping the pores clear. And when you are consistent with your skincare routine, you are making an active effort to keep the pore clear. So whatever affects it next, be it, you know, changes in the environment, what you're eating, how you're sleeping, you have still made a strong effort, a strong action to keep your skin clear. The next topic I want to go over is the psychology of restaurant modifications. So this is a very real thing I see with a lot of my clients, and it's just being afraid to ask for modifications. At restaurants, that hesitation is often rooted in the fear of judgment or being seen as difficult. And I notice this a lot with the women I coach. They really don't want to stand out as difficult or, you know, just that person. But here's the reality. I don't think anyone cares as much as you think. If they do, that's interesting. And it probably won't be something they think about for very long, maybe a couple seconds at most. The caveat to this I've seen is parents who, you know, maybe don't want their kid to have to make modifications. And that's because they love you and want you to have the most normal experience possible, which I understand. It does come back to the reality of considering acne as a medical condition just like any other disease. Sometimes there are lifestyle adjustments that will need to be made and you can figure out ways to still enjoy your experience even if you are making a modification. And you know what, there might be somebody else at that table who feels the same way, who's also afraid to speak up. I know, it actually makes me feel better when somebody is placing their order. And of course, there's a nice way to do this when you're making a modification. It doesn't have to be rude, it doesn't have to be a whole canon event. But I feel better when I see somebody, you know, asking for what they wanted in their meal. I'm like, yes, you get your burger without the cheese or the bun or whatever you needed. Like, I love that you spoke up for yourself. So be confident making your requests if you need to Most places, I think in today's day and age are super used to dietary needs and if they're not, you can usually always pivot. You are allowed to make choices that support your health. I'm going to say that again. You are allowed. You don't need permission to make choices that support your health. And that does include your skin.
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Go to your happy price. Priceline.
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Next Structure prevents sabotage so structure isn't about rigidity. I think a lot of people may view structure as restriction and they might not be the right person for my program if that is truly how you feel, because you probably feel like making those choices is very emotional for you and I just might not be the right approach for you. Some people truly will have an easier time taking medication and not having to make these lifestyle changes. Does that always last forever? No, but nothing does. And if that's the better option for you and your mental health, I fully support that. I just offer a service for people who are willing to make lifestyle style changes. The bulk of my clients tell me they do not mind. They're more than willing and ready to make some nutrition changes. They might have tried medication in the past or they just don't want to go that route. So I'm very clear on the fact that I have a specific service. I know who my audience is. I know who won't benefit from my services. And that's okay too. For other coaches or estheticians listening, you're not going to be for everyone. And the sooner you accept that, I think the happier your business is going to be and the more fulfilling your work is going to be. So structure isn't about rigidity, it's about having a framework that, that prevents sabotage. Even something as simple as planning your travel snacks. Yes, you can bring snacks to the airport or to your in your suitcase. Committing to water first thing in the morning, looking ahead of time at restaurants that you're excited to try that support your goals. It's not like you know you cannot experience delicious cuisine if you are traveling when you have dietary restrictions. Like I promise you, there's going to be something amazing on the menu that you can try. Maybe it's pre booking some, some movement, a little Pilates or yoga class into your day or even finding a gym that offers a day pass so you can strength train or finding the hotel gym. And maybe you don't go every day, but maybe you make that one day or a couple of days and that should actually support your travel experience and enhance it. You won't always be perfect, but with structure, you'll always be able to have a way back. If you have been inconsistent, you know what? This happens. If you've been inconsistent, it is okay. The only thing I ask is that you be honest with yourself about it. And please be honest with me about is so important in helping me to help you succeed. I am not here to discipline you. I promise you I will have a thriving program whether you, you know, so to speak, mess up or not. But we just have to be honest because you may still be reactive to foods and habits that trigger breakouts and that is completely normal in the first six months of healing. We what is not going to work is expecting perfect results from half effort. I think that's what I'm trying to be clear on. Ultimately, we can always rebound from situations. I have also added a new post acne care program for those who require ongoing care or need more maintenance support. I want to make sure I offer you more time in ways that I can support you. So healing takes time, consistency and the willingness to hold yourself to the standard you said you wanted. I didn't pick you out of a crowd and say you must get clear skin. Do my acne program or else. You found it. You read the terms, you signed the client contract and you agreed to this because you wanted a result that you could not find on your own. So if we're inconsistent, your skin isn't broken forever is just responding to a reality. And what do we do next to move forward? If you hear nothing else from this episode, I want you to get rid of the all or nothing mentality. The all or nothing mindset will sabotage you every single time. It will send you into a spiral. It will alter your reality which is that you went a little off plan in but it doesn't mean you're going to stay there. And I have my own struggles with this too. But we have to remember that we always have a new opportunity to do better and you don't have to let one little mess up or a day of messing up turn into a week or months or years. If you go off plan. Don't scrape the whole day. Hydrate. Find some warm lemon water. Find some digestive enzymes. Find a high protein, antioxidant rich fiber rich meal. I have lots of examples on my Acne Friendly Food Instagram. Lots of examples on my Acne Safe Snacks Pinterest board under Tess Zolli. Get back to your routine. Get back to movement. Get back to the consistent habits that support you and help you feel good. Don't turn guilt into shame. Success comes from showing up again and again and again, even when you've fallen down, not from being perfect. So in closing I would like to invite anyone who's not completely scared at this point because I promise you, my program is fun. We succeed, you feel supported, you have tools. Yes, there are realities we need to face, but you'll have to face them one day or another. If you are tired of winging it and you want a strategy that actually works and an expert that actually cares about you and loves you and cares about your future self, I do offer one on one acne coaching from anywhere in the us. You don't need another random product. You don't need another magic supplement. You need education, accountability and guidance that will help you become the leader of your own healing. For anyone who's interested, you can visit tessaskin.com to learn more or get started on your virtual acne care journey. I love you guys so much. If you listen to this episode and still like me, I love you. Thank you for being here. I will talk to you in the next episode.